Darla’s father lived in Daytona Beach, Florida, in the same mid-century home Darla grew up in.
She hadn’t actually taken the time to drive up and see him in about five months. And she knew better. It just seemed that each time she had intentions of seeing him, she just couldn’t motivate herself to go. Seeing him lonely reminded her of what it’s like to be frozen in time.
The day was in the mid-seventies. Not a cloud in the sky. The perfect day for a four-hour drive to the place she’d called home. A drive away from her life of trying to make ends meet, trying to find a way to live her dream.
In her black jeans with a coral top and bronze sandals, Darla walked in after her father opened the screen door.
Wearing khaki pants and a dark plaid shirt, he headed back barefoot across the parquet floor to his favorite place in his house, the right side of his hunter green sofa in his sunroom, the side with the cushions that, through the years, had conformed to the shape of his backside.
“Hi, Daddy,” she said, with a sweet tone.
Though he walked like he was forty, he sat back down in slow motion and gave a grunt. His sciatic nerve had always acted up, radiating down his right side for years. He stretched out his legs. “What’s going on with you, darlin’?” His television was tuned to a gardening show.
Darla’s father had robbed the cradle. Her mother was about ten years younger. But gray hair just barely made its visit, even though he was almost seventy. He was a sepia tone, almost five-ten, and had a slight beer belly.
Darla walked to him and leaned down to kiss his high forehead that matched hers. “Missing you. I need to get by here more. And missing Mom.”
“Me, too,” he said, offering a sad smile. “You want anything to drink or eat? There’s some Kool-Aid and orange juice, and some leftover turkey chili.”
“Oh, I’m fine, Daddy. Thanks.” Darla took a seat next to him on the sofa, patting him on his thigh. “So. You look good.”
“Thanks. I feel good. You look good, too. Still wearing your hair short I see.”
“Yes. It’s easier.” She patted the back of her head and then fluffed up the top strands along her forehead. “And you know I love my bangs.”
“It’s nice.”
“Thanks.” She inhaled his compliments, which was his usual nature to offer. The nature she’d grown to love. And another thing she loved about him was that he never talked about her weight. She was getting to be about the same size as her mother, but he never said a word. He liked a woman with a little meat on her bones.
Darla exhaled, wondering why she didn’t make the drive more often, and slipped off her shoes, crossing her legs at the ankles.
He looked back toward the TV screen.
Darla watched him closely. “Do you get lonely sometimes? Any friends or anyone you spend time with?”
“No. I don’t get lonely and I don’t have any friends.”
“Okay. And no ladies?”
He looked at her with a raised brow. “Especially not that.”
“I know.” Darla glanced all around. It was a three-bedroom house with the master on the main.
He rarely even went upstairs. It was basically going to waste, but the home was paid for and he took care of himself fairly well. Even when she was little, he was always the one to cook and clean. He loved to barbeque so he grilled all the time years ago. Today, his place looked tidy, but his furniture, drapes, and televisions were old. They were the same items he and Darla’s mother had when Darla grew up. He was old school. He’d never think of getting a cell phone or a computer. In his mind, he lived just fine. He was just missing his wife. It was just that simple.
Darla asked, almost as though she was just checking, “Daddy, if I needed to move in with you, could I?” It was her plan B solution. She dared not ask him for money. He’d worry.
His bushy eyebrows reacted as he looked at her. He asked, “Why? Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. It’s just that I’m thinking about opening a store, or some type of business. If I do, I might need to save as much money as I can, and staying here would let me do that while I run the store and see how it goes.”
“What kind of store?”
“A clothing store.”
“Really? I didn’t know you knew anything about that.”
“Other than a merchandising class in college and that summer job at the Gap years ago, not much experience, but I think I could do it. Didn’t you and Mom own a burger joint for a minute when I was born?”
“We did. Your mom knew about the restaurant business from managing one before we met. And me with my accounting, we worked it out, darlin’.”
“That must be where I get it from. My independent spirit.”
“Yes, you do have that. Where would you open the store?”
“I was thinking Miami, but if I moved in, it would be a place out here. Not sure if it’d be cheaper. Just thinking though.”
“I see. The answer is yes. You know that. Having you here would breathe some life into this old house.”
“Well, thanks. Looks like this house is just fine though.” She sat back and crossed her legs, facing him. “But who knows, maybe I’ll settle down again and won’t have to bother you.”
He resumed his focus on the TV screen, but took her hand. “Maybe.”
She looked down at his wide hand, his aging fingers and pronounced veins that ran from his wrist and up the back of his hand. And he still wore his gold wedding band. She held his hand with both of hers. “One thing’s for sure, I won’t be having any kids, so, sorry I never gave you any grandkids.”
“You and Aaron weren’t meant to have any, so being that God took him home, it wasn’t meant to be.”
“True.”
“Don’t apologize to me for that. I’m fine. You just do what you need to do to make yourself happy. And if that’s opening a business, then fine.”
“I’m trying. I’m trying to do the right thing. I’m trying to make you proud.”
“I’m already proud. And your mom’s proud too.”
“Daddy. Seriously though, I think maybe I might want to marry again.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” he asked.
“I get lonely. It’s been five years.”
“I get lonely, too. But in honor of your mother, here I’ll be. Now what you do is up to you. You’re a grown woman. I can’t tell you what to do. All I can say is be true to your heart.”
“My heart is the reason I haven’t moved on. It’s my head that tells me it’s time to be open to meeting someone new.”
“Then that’s what you need to do. Just do the right thing.”
“The right thing. Wow. That sentence sounds simple, but sometimes, Daddy, haven’t you ever done something you knew was wrong? Didn’t you ever give in to temptation? Just throw caution to the wind and be crazy. Wild. Take a risk.”
“Not much. I pretty much had drama-free years with your mother. My life with her was spent living according to our vows, and my life after she passed has been spent according to my devotion to her memory. Now if something is telling you to move on, that’s your decision, just the same as whether or not you open a store. Your heart will keep you faithful. Listen to your heart. Not faithful to someone, but faithful to yourself. I’m being faithful to myself based on who I am. You be faithful to yourself based on who you are. All the rest is just part of the learning lesson of life.”
“I hear you, Daddy.” She focused on the words of wisdom he’d spoken, and his handsome profile. “You really do look good.”
“I feel good, darlin’.”
“Now that makes me happy.”
He picked up the remote and aimed it toward the TV, pressing off. He turned toward Darla. “So, you’re forty now, right?”
“I am.” She turned toward him a bit more.
“Then it just might be time to start living. You were a good wife. Aaron will always be with you in spirit. Only you know what he’d be okay with, but you’re the one who’s still here. Being here makes me happy. You do what makes you happy.”
She smiled. “True. I understand.”
“And when you’re ready to move in, just say so.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“You look beautiful, Darla. Your mother had you when she was twenty-four. She died when you were sixteen. When she passed away, she was forty like you are now. Live.”
Darla’s heart thumped. “Yes, Daddy. I will.”
His eyes were in mourning. “Darla, do you ever wish heaven had a phone?” He stared at the wall, at a photo of him and his devoted wife.
“Yes, Daddy. I surely do.” Darla looked at the photo, too. “I’d dial that number every single day.”
He nodded and said, “Me, too.”
After an entire afternoon of talking, heading to Home Depot for the new patio furniture he’d had his eyes on, a new gas grill he’d been wanting to buy, and then to lunch at one of his favorite places to eat, Applebee’s, Darla and her father arrived back at his home, and said their good-byes as she left.
Darla kept an eye on her father, who watched her walk to her car. She got in and pulled out of the driveway, and kept looking back at him, watching him stand in the doorway, just as she did every time she left, never knowing if it would be the last time she’d ever see him. He’d promised to grill for her soon. She looked forward to that. Unlike some females’, her father had been there from day one, and she was thankful for that. He raised her with values and unconditional love. And he was all she really had.
I love you, Daddy.