5. Flying business

As they progressed, Hilda sped up the journey. Otherwise, she knew, it would be past dusk before they'd reach her house. While they were flying faster, talking had become more difficult, which was fine with Hilda. She pained her head about what had happened, and the complications that it would present while she was trying to mosey herself through the challenge bit.

William was getting more confident about the flying business and looked around freely now. They had passed over several small villages that all looked interesting. He would love to go there and see what kind of bookstores they had, if any.

He noticed that they were slowing down again as they sailed over a large forest area.

"This is the forest where most of the gnomes live," Hilda told him. She had dropped some altitude and was flying next to William now.

"Gnomes. Right." William did not grin or try to make a funny remark. He had seen so many things already that did not make sense, gnomes were easily added to that gallery.

"When we're past this, we're going to make a circle over the castle of the king and the mean queen," Hilda informed him, "although most of her meanness has left her by now, I guess." She chuckled and did not elaborate for William. That was okay for him though, he was curious to see a castle in a fairy-tale land. He had decided that that was where he had indeed ended up and was reaching acceptance with that.

The castle took his breath away. No picture in any book, in any artist's mind, could have equalled the appearance of this phenomenal white building, with its high towers, wide moat, large inner courts and giant flowerbeds.

The swoop they made around the castle did not go unnoticed. Walt, who was walking outside for a while, enjoying the last rays of sunshine, saw Hilda and the unknown guest. He waved at them. As he heard the shrieking, cackling laughter of the wicked witch, he grinned. It still was good to be king, and to rub elbows with that witch at times. He did wonder who the person on the other broom was. Perhaps, he thought, she had a visit from some warlock, as the man seemed very much at ease on the broomstick as well.

William did not wave at the king, as per explicit instruction of the witch. "We do not wave at people. People wave at us and we're the ones with the stuck up nose that don't wave back," she had told him. "I know you are not a witch, but you are not going to ruin my reputation because of that detail. Be warned." And so he was warned.

After completing a full round along the castle grounds, Hilda made the brooms set course to her house. She praised herself for having a few more rooms. At least that would not be a problem. A bed would be conjured up quickly enough. And a lock.

They approached the house. It's red roof was visible from far away, as the rays of the retreating sun appeared to set it on fire.

"Looks like your house is on fire," said William.

"Looks are deceiving. This is my house, I know how it can act at times. Here, have another cupcake."

William did not dare to ask and accepted the cupcake, a nice pink one. As all the others she had handed him. "Somehow you don't strike me as a person who'd go for pink, Hilda."

Her cheeks turned red, not pink. "Shut up. I have brooms to land," she tried to ward off his interest.

As there was a second broom, she did not attempt to land her broom on the green dot in front of the door. A gentle touch down, as if someone pushed a really big feather under his feet, was how they came back to the ground.

"This was the most incredible journey I have ever had," William said. "Thank you ever so much for this."

"Could hardly leave you there in the mountains, could I?", said the wicked witch. "Hey, any visitors worth mentioning?"

"Not really," said the house.

"Holy Bejeebus," muttered William who had not been prepared for a speaking house. It would not be the last thing he was not prepared for.

"Right," said the witch. "William, you can let go of the broom now..."

"What? Oh, okay." He let go of the broom that floated away from him and parked itself against the wall of the house. "Nice house you have here. Looks like brandnew too."

"Hah," said the house. "You wouldn't believe the pain in her ass I had to be before she painted me again."

"Uhm..." William was a bit lost for words as the house addressed him directly. "I doubt it was that bad."

The house did not find the man worthy to further talk to him for now, after that remark.

Hilda walked up to the door, took the two arrows from the doorjamb and walked into the house. William decided not to wait for an invitation, he had already understood that Hilda was not very much the kind for those. As he wanted to close the door, the house beat him to it. Just to make a point.

Hilda's broom, that had followed her inside, went to its regular place next to the fireplace.

William grinned as he saw it happen.

Two goldfish on the cup that was still on the large black table, curiously peeked around the rounding of their home and almost fell off it in surprise, as they saw a strange man in Hilda's house.

Hilda stood in front of her magical mirror, tapping her lip with an index finger. "Right. I don't get guests very often, so you may have to help me out here at times, okay? I know you will need a room to sleep. Got that. And a bed. Haven't got that yet, but that's minor business. Not sure what kind of stuff you eat in your fairy world, but you'll have to make do with what I can cook. And from that point on I am at a loss."

William had trouble fighting his laughter about her upfront way of acting. At least, he thought, you always knew what she was thinking: the witch had a charming way of making that clear. "Well, that is a good start. And if you want, I can cook something too. I'm not a bad cook if I say so myself. Just one thing I am curious about."

"Yeah?" Immediately Hilda was in battle-mode, hands on her hips and chin up in the air.

"Is there a mister Wicked Witch?"

Hilda's face went through several emotions as she worked on grasping what this strange person had said. The goldfish almost screamed with laughter, holding on to the cup with all fins they had.

"You mean if there is another man living in this house." Hilda got it. "Preposterous. Not only would there be no man who could live with me, but also I would be totally unable to have someone around in such a way. People get on my nerves as much as I get on theirs." She started to turn and head for the stairs, then looked back at William. "So don't you get any funny ideas." As she walked to the stairs she said: "Come on, I am not going to carry you."

William grinned once more and followed her up the stairs. It was a bit unnerving to him that the pictures of the people that were floating along the wall, turned their heads and followed him with their eyes as he passed them.

Hilda waited for him, in front of a door. It too looked freshly painted. "You can sleep here." She opened the door an entire three inches before it did not want to budge anymore. "Oh. Crap. Vacuus," she muttered and the door opened fully.

"As I said, you can sleep here." With her wand she made a bed, a small table and a chair appear.

The bed had fresh sheets and some kind of purple duvet on it. From somewhere William thought to hear a soft moan, as the house reacted to the purple. The table had a stack of candles on it, a small burning stick floated over the table, clearly to light the candles, and there were some books on it. The chair was empty.

"Anything else you need?"

William took the dice that had been his weekendbag out of his pocket. "My things, please." A moment later, he held his bag in his hand. "That's neat. I could do with a few tricks like that."

"Sure," Hilda snorted. "And who's going to teach you? You're not magical, William." Hilda laughed an extra cackling laugh as she walked to the door and into the hallway. "Down there is the bathroom and assorted other stuff. Don't make a mess or you'll be cleaning it with your own clothes. I'm going downstairs and make something to eat. I'll let you know when it's done in case you muck about here for too long."

The door closed itself. Hilda looked at herself. Perhaps she should change into something else.

William looked around the room. There were two large windows. No curtains. He looked outside through one of the windows and saw a lot of forest. There was something odd about it, but he could not put his finger on what was off. Well, with the place belonging to a witch, who would be surprised.

He opened his bag, took out his toiletries and left his room, in search of the bathroom "and assorted other stuff". Down the short hall he found four doors. This in itself was impossible already, as there was no way one could fit four doors in that limited space. Trying to imagine that there were actual rooms behind them, no matter how small, was asking for a headache. William did not ask that.

He was however not prepared for so many doors. "I wonder which one is the bathroom," he said to himself.

The house, taking pity on the man who had been tossed into this adventure, opened the right door.

"Holy Bejeebus," William said. "Thanks, whoever you are."

"You're welcome."

William then recognised the voice of the house. "Well, well, a talking house. Nice meeting you."

"Perhaps," the house said. Conservative as it was, it did keep its distance in the beginning.

William entered the bathroom.

White tiles with an occasional goldfish on them. A large white bathtub with two small golden plaques on it. One said "Full", one said "Empty".

Curious, he touched the Full plaque. Instantly the tub was filled with hot water, a nice scent rising up from the bubbles. "Jeebes," the book salesman took a shortcut. He dropped his clothes and got into the tub, enjoying the soak for a few minutes, and cleaning himself up so he felt decent again.

Then he climbed out of the tub and looked round for a towel. "Towel... towel..."

"I assume one is enough?", the house asked, as a thick dark blue towel materialised in William's hand.

"Oh, yes, by all means," William replied, drying himself as he wondered if the house could actually see him. With a grin he tapped the plaque with 'Empty' on it and the bath was not only empty but also clean and ready for the next customer.

A slight unease came over the traveller when he could not locate his clothes. "Hello, house? Where are my clothes?"

"In your room. Cleaned. Wear the others."

"Others?" William asked out loud but got no clarification, so he did his last bits of making himself presentable and then, with the dark blue towel wrapped around him, he quickly scooted into his guestroom.