22. Wedding bells

"You are kidding me, girlfriend." Baba Yaga's voice rang with disbelief.

"No, ma'am," Hilda said, "he knocked me out cold. Not for long but still, it's a disgrace how they treat us witches these days."

"But knowing you, he didn't get away with that unscathed, I dare hope?" Baba Yaga's face shone with anticipation of what had to come.

"You know me, Babs. I did the nice and friendly thing, and just before they were heading out I gave him a taste of the rock hand. Kapow."

Baba Yaga's cackle reverberated through the room. "Subtle as ever, that's my Hilly."

"It's a gift," said Hilda. "So now I am cooking up some of the wedding preparations. And as I was working on those I thought that it would be the polite thing to invite you to the wedding."

"A wedding? Me? Hilda, that's been centuries ago."

"About time then, don't you think? Just put on your best slinky, or bring something cool and colourful, as you are into those things these days. They'll love it."

Baba Yaga still wasn't convinced. "You sure?"

"Hey, girlfriend, basically I am the one who got these two kids together, so they owe me one. Or two. You get yourself over there for the wedding. I don't take no for an answer."

"Right, then I'll give you a maybe, and no more discussion."

"Cool puppies. We'll talk again, Babs, I still have some things to attend to. Have a good one, kiddo!"

The light in the crystal ball faded.

"Sheesh, why is she always so worked up about public appearances," Hilda muttered.

Several days had gone by since that crystal-balled conversation. Wedding invitations had been sent out, received, RSVP'd and appreciated. Hilda had arranged for one to go to Baba Yaga also, and with some magical persuasion it made it there in time.

On Hilda's advice, the name of Snow-White had been left off the invitations, she was only referred to as the 'lovely bride to be'.

"There is no reason why we should alert dear stepmom that Snow-White is still alive," she had told the happy couple. "If she gets wind of that, she might go for the heavy artillery and level this entire castle in her urge to be the most pretty one."

After all that had happened, the couple could only agree.

Hilda had also had another meeting with Walt, in which she outlined the change of plan. Walt did not like that, but as things were the way they were, there was little he could do about it. Even a king of his size had to bend his crowned head circumstance. "Okay, okay," he had sighed, "I'll think of a nice wedding present." Then all of his face had lit up: "And I may be able to supply some entertainment also!"

Hilda had no idea what the man was talking about, but a smiling king was a useful king, she thought, so she had left him to work out the details of his plan.

The queen had eyed the invitation suspiciously. "Do you have any clue who the girl is?"

Walt had shook his head. "Doesn't say a name, does it? Louie and I aren't the fattest buddies around, so the card is a surprise for me too.

The mean queen glared at the king's rather bulging belly, but had to agree that Walt and Louie were not the closest of old chums.

And then came the big day. The day that Snow-White and prince Jordan, son of king Louie, were getting married.

All the streets in Louie's realm had been wiped clean, the entire kingdom was one flurry of colourful banners, flags and pictures of prince Jordan and a veiled bride, as no one had been informed about the name or origin of the princess that had gotten their prince. The official streetcleaning guild was already sighing as they beheld the amounts of confetti and other well-meant junk was going over the counters in the festivity-shops.

Guests from every kingdom around had shown up, all in their most festive and magnificent outfits. Many of the dresses were especially tailored for this wedding, as such occasions did not come by every year, due to a lack of princes and princesses falling in love enough to tie the knot.

Oh, there was no shortage of princes or princesses. The main problem was that they usually did not live closeby. And the ones who did live close to each other were not allowed to marry most of the time, as they were brothers and sisters. Of course, there were some well-guarded, hidden chronicles that mentioned slip-ups of this rule, but hardly anybody knew about those. This shows that hiding and guarding chronicles works quite well.

Weddings like these were considered royal matchmakers, as these happenings were the perfect stage for marriageable members of the jet-set to meet.

Hilda had dressed very abundantly for the day. She had put on a terrific crimson dress which ended very high above the knee. It also started very far below her shoulders. High-heeled shoes in the same shade of crimson, and ditto gloves upto her elbows. Crimson streaks in her hair completed her attire. For the occasion she had flown in on, what a surprise, a crimson broom.

"Uhm, Grimhilda?"

Hilda was leaning over a bit, peeking through the curtains that were present everywhere in the large hall where the marriage ceremony would take place. She looked back, seeing nobody, so she was about to return to taking inventory of the assembled guests, when the voice spoke again.

"Down here, Grimhilda."

She looked downwards and saw all seven dwarfs look up at her, obviously enjoying the view. As they had taken such good care of Snow-White, they had been invited to the party as well.

"Oh, it's you. Oh!!" Quickly she stood up straight and turned around to face the group. Without premeditation, her cheeks coloured red also, which clashed quite violently with the crimson of her clothes. "Hey guys, what can I do for you?" Unwillingly she held her hands over the lower part of her dress.

As the grins faded, Doc asked her where they should be when the bride and groom would enter the hall.

"Heck, I don't know. Just mingle and be careful that nobody steps on you. What do you do on weddings?"

"We get plastered," Happy said, looking happy at the prospect.

"You're in luck then. There is a large buffet with food and drinks planned for after the ceremony."

"After?" Severe disappointment.

"Sorry guys, you'll have to wait. Come, let's go in and find a good place to watch from." Hilda grabbed her crimson broom, went upwards on it and carefully maneuvered her way through the curtains. She did not notice the attempts of the dwarfs to strain their necks and eyes.

The ceremonial hall was huge as in very, very large. Its white marble floor was almost a mirror, so well-polished was it. All the way up to the ceiling were marble pillars and columns, looking as if they were made of white, grey and black swirls. From the regular entrance of the hall to the spot where the marriage was to take place, lay a large red carpet, meticulously cleaned. To each side there were nice comfortable chairs for all the guests, including seven smaller ones near the front; the dwarfs' seats.

Sunlight streamed in through all the windows. These were the windows on the east side as well as on the west side. This treat was a small addition to the festivities, courtesy of Baba Yaga, who was brilliant with all things weather.

Hilda parked her broom next to the one of Baba Yaga. They had top-row seats "Hey Babs."

The Russian witch looked her girlfriend up and down. "Hilly, good to see you. I already wondered - oh my, your dress..."

"Yes, cute colour isn't it? Oh, neat touch what you did to your broom." Hilda pointed at the end of Baba Yaga's broomstick that had a jolly white skull fixed to it. From each eyesocket hung a pink ribbon, a tiny pink femur dangling from it.

Babs grinned. "Yeah, thought I'd liven things up a bit as I am here anyway. His name was Roger, so I was told."

A dozen hidden trumpetplayers lifted their unseen instruments to their equally unseen lips. The sound they produced was wonderful and melodic. It was a clear call for attention. It also was very loud and gave Hilda a shock.

"Not now, girlfriend," Baba Yaga whispered as she covered Hilda's hand that had the wand ready to strike.

"Sowwy," Hilda mumbled as she made the wand disappear.

Below them, the ceremony began. Hilda wished they would hurry up. There was one moment she was waiting for, the one moment she had set all this up for.

The couple to be wedded came into the hall.

Hilda enjoyed the view of the couple and tried not to let it show.

The ceremony started.

After listening to the singingin and the talking for a while, Baba Yaga tapped Hilda on the arm. "Hilly. You're drooling."

Hilda wiped her mouth and said: "Am not."

"Are too."

Hilda frowned. "The kid looks pretty, doesn't she?" She looked down at Snow-White in the long white wedding dress, the veil still over her face, who was going through the endless list of vows she'd keep to, as Jordan had already done. The wicked witch sighed and got a dreamy look in her eyes, as well as a smile on her face.

"Grimhilda, stop that. I am worrying about you." Baba Yaga poked Hilda gently in the side with a bony finger.

"Oy, quiet up there," a male voice came from below.

"Shut up yourself," Hilda commented, snipping her fingers.

The man who had made the comment started to hick-up. He diverted his eyes and refrained from further remarks.

"That'll teach him," Hilda grumbled.

"That's my girl." Baba Yaga leaned back against the solidified air behind her broom and relaxed.

Hilda's moment came. Prince Jordan was only a breath away from lifting the veil, as the priest had told him to kiss the bride.

The veil went up.

Seconds later the mean queen went down.

Hilda chalked one up for herself and made 2 glasses of pink champagne appear, complete with a cherry in each glass. A toast with her best girlfriend was definitely in place.

Baba Yaga took a sip and then frowned as she looked at the glass. "Is that watered down, or what?"

Hilda nodded. "You know I can't take that stuff."

"Oh, right." Baba Yaga pulled a little black thing out of a pocket and dropped it in the champagne. It bubbled for a moment and turned dark. She took another sip. "Yeah, that is more like it. Hilly, here's to you."

As the two witches sipped from their glasses, a clear female voice chimed up to them. "Hey there, witch ladies, when you're done up there can we finish up down here?"

The magical women laughed out loud for a moment, filling the hall with some serious cackling laughter that adequately frightened people. Then Hilda stuck up her thumb at Snow-White that the floor was theirs again.

The priest was rather ticked off about this improper behaviour but let it pass. The fact that the evildoers were riding brooms and at that moment were located some fifteen yards over the floor had certainly a big part in his decision. To his silent pleasure, there were no more distuptions and the rest of the ceremony went along according to the book.

As the ceremonial hall was emptying, after the official part of the wedding, Hilda located the hickupping man and released him from the spell.

He looked up and said: "Thank you. It was becoming quite annoying. But at this moment, it was worth it." Then he quickly fled from the hall.

Baba Yaga watched Hilda for a reaction, but there was none. Again she worried.

The ceremonial hall had gone all quiet now, except for the talking of dwarfs. The two witches descended to the marble floor.

"So, guys, I hope you were not too bored during this," Hilda said as the witchy women made their brooms vanish.

Bashful looked at the floor. Like Happy, he was still rubbing his neck.

"It was not too bad," Doc commented, "the intermezzo with the queen made up for a lot. But I do think that it is time for the handing over of the present and then we should find our way to the good stuff." His suggestion was well received by his fellows, so they headed out of the hall and into the direction where the real party was taking off. The sound was hard to miss.

As the dwarfs and the witches came into the large lounge, there was a small orchestra playing music. Hilda frowned. "They'd better improve quickly, or I'm going to give them a hand."

"Oh, uhm, boys, who has the present?" Doc was in a frenzy, searching his pockets.

"Calm down, Doc," said Sleepy. He picked a small leather pouch from his pocket. "Here you go. Looks like I am still the one who is most awake here..." He shot a dirty look at Hilda.

"Really? Oh man, I am so sorry," Hilda said, entirely not sincere. "I must have totally forgotten. Come here, let me tell you something." She bent over to Sleepy, who hoped to bury his nose between her breasts as the opportunity delivered itself. There was certainly not much fabric that would prevent it.

Hilda whispered something in his ear.

Sleepy stared at her. "You're kidding me..." Then he keeled over backwards, and slept.

"Nope. English just takes a while," she giggled. "Come on, Babs, let's go and congratulate the happy couple." Arm in arm they left the seven dwarfs.

The witches walked straight up to the newly-weds, everyone making room for them to pass unhindered. Many a man was yanked on the arm or faced a worse fate as Hilda paraded by. Her daring outfit attracted eyes like an electro-magnet would attract chain-mail.

After a while, as everyone was equipped with drinks and snacks and Sleepy was shoved into a corner, King Walt stepped forward. "Lovely couple, honoured folks. Now all lips are burning from the kissing, and all cheeks are raw from the same, I would like to introduce a bit of entertainment to you all."

"Dad?" Snow-White was amazed by this gesture of her father. He had already given them a new bed and a few horses.

"Trust me, kiddo. This will be fun," he beamed, patting her on the arm.

Hilda and Baba Yaga, sitting at the table with the happy couple, exchanged glances. This was a suprise for them as well, since Walt had worked this out all alone.

"Right then. For this surprise I require the assistance of my wife, the lovely queen..." Walt obviously basked in his moment of glory as he pointed out the lady to the others.

The mean queen, who had been brought back to awareness a while ago already, flustered and did not want to be part of this. She did not like surprises. And certainly not when they involved her. "Walt," she hissed in her sweetest voice.

King Walt however was not shaken, nor stirred. "And I will also need this." He clapped his chubby hands, and at that mark a servant came in carrying a beautiful yellow cushion made of satin. On the cushion were two fantastic shoes, looking as if they were made of glass.

"They are not made of glass," Walt said with pride, "they are made of diamond. And they are a gift to my wife, who has done so much for my daughter."

The mean queen stared at her husband and then turned her greedy eyes at the two sparkling shoes that the servant had placed in front of her. Quite excited suddenly, her hand on her heaving bosom, she said: "Oh my... I didn't... I mean..." Quickly she kicked off her ordinary silver-and-sapphire shoes and slipped her feet into the cool diamond ones. They fit like gloves, despite common knowledge that gloves usually go on hands.

The queen got up as everyone looked at her shoes in awe. Carefully she took a few steps. The shoes felt amazing. She stepped some more steps. Attempted a royal twirl. The shoes responded well to that, and the mean queen was surprised. Somehow, without knowing it, she had done something very good for Walt. She was convinced of that. Why else would he give her such a brilliant and shiny present?

"Maestro," Walt said, addressing the man in the preposterous wig that was standing in front of the orchestra. "Hit it."

A shriek escaped the mean queen as she started to dance. She had no choice. The shoes did all the work, but she had to follow, willing or not.

"Dad, that is so cool!", Snow-White said, unable to peel her eyes from her step-mother. "Did she practice that very long?"

Walt shook his head. "No, it's all in the shoes," he snorted.

Hilda and Baba Yaga did some witchy stuff to check out the step-queen's lower extremities, and giggled. There was magic in the shoes. Heavy Magic. And the queen would have to live with that for the rest of her life, since she would not be able to take the shoes off again. She would have to dance whenever there was music, because that was what the shoes were specifically made for.

Hilda snickered, as she was convinced that Walt would see to it that there would not be a lack of music.

Then a menacing thought developed in her mind and clawed its way to her vocal chords. She looked at Baba Yaga, and said: "I wonder where the fuck he got those shoes from..."

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About the author:

I am an IT consultant who loves reading and writing.

I've been an amateur-author since years, writing SciFi, Fantasy and lately also Steampunk. My home is in the Netherlands.

I hope you liked "Hilda: Snow-White Revisited".

Other books I published:

Hilda, the wicked witch (Smashwords, July 2010)

If you want to connect with me online:

Twitter: http://twitter.com/pagan_paul

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/paulkater

My website: http://www.nlpagan.net