7. Here's a gift



The mean queen was regally pissed off that her plan to murder the ungrateful child had failed. "No sense of decency or respect," she fumed, as she had retreated to her special secret room with all the interesting things.

This time she would not fail, she was certain of that. She'd think something up that would be dead sure the end of the beautiful nuisance. Her gaze went over the table with possible attributes, she needed something that was good for a killing and be inconspicuous at the same time. "Gotcha," the queen said, an evil grin in her face.

In the castle yard, the king was pacing, wondering how he could get his daughter back. The news that she had run off to the forest and had been killed by a wild animal had made him go crazy first, drunk secondly, and heavy-headed in the end. He was just getting over that last stage.

The outside air should do him good, the king thought. He had called for the huntsman who was the last person apparently who had seen Snow-White alive.

"Do you have ANY idea where she might be?", the king asked the huntsman, who was sweating from most pores as he knew more than he was allowed to say by the queen.

"No, sorry, king sir," the hunter said and wished he was anywhere else.

"Can't you go out and see if you and some men can find her or not? Or maybe not you but just some other men? Or not?"

The huntsman was still trying to find his way out of all the negatives when the king's personal lackey came running. "King, king, there's a letter!"

"About Snow-White?", the king asked.

"No, sir, it is from one of the neighbouring kingdoms, they want to know when you're able to pop over for a visit," the flunkey said.

"Oh. Well, I guess not." The king stood in thought for a few moments, trying to kick the alcoholic nebulas away from his brain. After some more moments he turned to the lackey. "Been reading my mail again, have you?" He did not try to lash out to the servant's head, as he was too fat and too tired to try. The man also was too tall, the king would never be able to reach up that high.

Hilda sighed. The new mirror was done. It had been quite a lot of work to get this big one to work properly, she'd been splashing magic over it in liberal amounts. She took the loaner down from the stand and put the new one up. Her next task was to make some herbal tea. She really was in need of that. Her energy-level had dropped so low that she didn't have enough magic ready to manifest the tea. So off to the kitchen it was for her, and do the old-fashioned handywork for tea. Hilda didn't mind. It had been worth it.

Doc prodded Snow-White in the rear. "Missy, it's time to wake up, okay? This time we made dinner, but we do hope that tomorrow you'll be able to hold back your urges and make our dinner as we agreed."

Snow-White looked up at the dwarf and smiled. "Of course, dear Doc." She sat up and kissed him on the nose.

"Oh, uh, gee," Doc said, blushing all over. "Well, dinner is ready. And served."

Somehow they managed to wake up Sleepy and then the group sat down for dinner, Sleepy's eyes fixed on Snow-White for some reason, a dumb grin on his face, which annoyed the other dwarfs to no end.

The evening went on calmly in the house of the dwarfs. Sleepy slept. Grumpy was in not too grand a mood. Snow-White took it on herself to wash clothes, and Happy and Dopey were trying to together a bed for her and intended it to be as far away from Sleepy's bed as they could manage.

As the little guys had to get up again early in the morning, they all went to sleep soon. In their own beds.

Hilda's tea had worked miracles in the way she usually did herself. She was all up and running again, with dinner already behind her and the new mirror working like a charm. She saw Snow-White wash clothes and nodded approvingly. The wicked witch saw the mean queen in the castle's dining room with a smile on her face, and knew that this was going to be trouble again. Hilda went to bed early, she wanted to be up in time to make sure the queen was not pulling any funnies without her being on top of them.

The queen, after dinner, had gone back to her chambers. She looked at the nice little red package that lay on the table. Inside it was the special comb she had prepared for Snow-White.

"Oh yes, child, that is the perfect gift for you," she chuckled. "Stick it in your hair, touch your scalp with any of the teeth of this sweet little comb, and kablam, down and dead. Done deal, case closed, no more Snow-White and I'm the prettiest one in the house again." She glared at the mirror. "I hope you got that too!"

The king sat on a chair near a window. He was looking out over the castle wall, to the few the trees that still were visible in the approaching evening. Somewhere the body of his daughter had to be, in there. Silently he cursed the few curses he had picked over the years.

He hoped that the huntsman would be able to go out there and look for her. He really wanted to see her again, if only a last time. The desperate king looked at a bottle of wine. No. Not this night. It would not be good.

He got up and went to bed, staring at the ceiling for a long time.

The next morning, very early, the queen dressed up again. Not as a peddler-woman, but as a regular person. As she was certain there was a bumpy cart-ride ahead, she had stuffed some extra padding in her skirt, at the back. Thus outfitted, and with the package containing the poisoned comb in a pouch, she slipped out the back door of the castle again and found someone who would take her to the house of the dwarfs. This ride was a lot smoother, but still she did not regret the padding.

The queen was well on her way already, when Hilda woke up. The energy she had used to charge the mirror had drained her and she was not able to wake up sooner than she did. It even took her a while to get herself together, but once she'd managed that, she flew out of bed and raced to the mirror to see what was going on.

"Queen. Bitch. Where are you?" Hilda scanned the places she knew where the mean queen often spent time. But of course, the queen was not there. "Drat. Of course today I have to sleep late," Hilda scolded herself, magicking some proper clothes onto herself. She grabbed a broom and ran outside, slamming the door behind her and taking off into the air without a word.

"Yeah. Good morning to you too," the house mumbled.

From a point high in the air Hilda surveyed the area, but as a lot of the ground in the kingdom was blessed with trees and forests, there was little of a queen to see. She tore through the air, to the castle, hoping to find Humbert the huntsman. Sometimes he knew things.

"Hey, big guy," Hilda said as she landed almost on top of the hunter.

His first response was to pull out the immense knife, which promptly changed into a fistful of cabbage.

"Never, but never pull a knife on me," Hilda said. "Now see what you've done..."

The huntsman looked at his hand and shook off the cabbage. "So sad. Such a fine knife."

"No more whining about the knife, big man. Do you know where the queen is?" Hilda liked coming straight to the point. Especially when she was in a hurry.

The hunter looked at her and shook his head. "No. Isn't she in?"

"Do you think I hadn't looked there before I came here to ask you?" Hilda snapped. He was not going to be a big help today, she knew.

"Maybe the king knows where she went," the huntsman tried. He assumed that getting on the good side of the wicked witch would yield more opportunities to get his knife back. It was however a very unfortunate coming together of circumstances: Hilda did not often bring her good side along with her. And today was one of those days.

"Really..." Hilda saw a few guards approach. They came closer slowly, not sure how to go about apprehending a trespassing witch, but they did not want to let their employer down either. Duty and self-preservation were obvious in a dispute among the men.

"No worries, boys, I'm off again already!", she yelled at the group of eight. She swung herself on the broom and she was gone.

"But... my knife..." Humbert stared at the speck in the sky, then kicked the bits of cabbage around. The guards made sounds of pity. And nervous laughter.

The queen had arrived at the house of the dwarfs again. Shrewd as she was, she knew that she had to take a different approach from the one she'd used as a peddler-woman. Snow-White was not a dummy and would not fall for the same trick twice.

Her disguise in place, she started walking around the house. The queen was convinced that singing a nice song would be a great thing to help her, but since she did not know any nice songs, that idea was off. So the queen walked up to the door and knocked on it. Then (and this is where the Grimm brothers went wrong), the queen announced that she was a neighbour and had a gift to welcome Snow-White to the area.

Now Snow-White was indeed not a dummy, and she also was a quick learner. The experience with the laces were still fresh in her memories when she heard the voice call out outside the door. Determined not to be caught this time, Snow-White yelled back: "I'm not sure what you are trying to sell, but we have everything. Please go away." It was a line she'd heard some of the maids call out to undesirable types at the castle gate at times, and usually that worked.

Alas, the mean queen wasn't prepared to be sent off that easily, so she tried again. "Dear child, this is simply a welcoming gift from the folks around. We'd be pretty insulted if you don't want to accept it and I wouldn't know how to explain it to the others if I have to return with the present."

"No, thanks, really. I was told not to open the door to strangers, and I'm sticking to that."

"Oh, right. You're one of those," the queen said, "one of those easy chicks that do everything a man says and that don't think for themselves."

Snow-White pondered that for a while. She did not want to be known as an easy chick, even if she had deserved that title the night before. But nobody had to know that. And also, a neighbour usually was a friend, her father the king had often said that. Or something along those lines anyway.

"You sure you don't want the gift? You'll like it, you know, you'll be able to make yourself so pretty with it." The queen suppressed a giggle, loving her own acting. "Well, too bad, I'll just have to go then."

Snow-White yanked open the door. "No, wait. I'm sure a neighbour is a good friend. My dad always said that."

"Ah, dear child," the queen said, resisting the urge to grind her teeth as she saw the girl, "here is your present, your welcoming gift. With love and hugs from us all." The queen knew she had to stop talking. It would not look good if she started throwing up because of her own sugar-sweet lies.

Snow-White took the nicely wrapped box and opened it. "Ohhh!! A comb!!!" Just what she needed, because most of the dwarfs were quite bald on top, and the excuse for a comb they had would die on her hair as she had so much of it.

"Go on, try it," the queen said, who could hardly wait.

In the meantime Hilda was pushing her broom to the limit. She had one fear, and that was the the queen bitch had gone to see the kid again, and this time she might have some really heavy artillery with her. Throwing all caution in the wind, Hilda dove down to the ground, aiming for the front door of the house. To her shock she saw the door was open and Snow-White was lying on the ground, her hand in her hair. And no queen in sight.

"Fuckadory," she muttered. "Too late again..." The broom clashed against the side of the house, leaving its equivalent of a skid-mark. Hilda kicked the door open wide and kneeled down with Snow-White. The girl's face was paler than usual, her breathing barely noticeable. Hilda quickly found the comb and a spell told her what was wrong with it.

As Snow-White had rather a lot of thick hair, the damage that the comb was meant to inflict had not set in completely. The tips of the comb had barely brushed the girl's scalp, so even though the poison had gotten into her system, it was not yet a lethal dose. Hilda knew she had to do something though, otherwise the comb, that was still in Snow-White's hair, would slowly but surely make it happen in the end.

"What an ass," she mumbled, referring to her majesty the queen. "Well, you're not going to be happy, I promise you that."

Hilda brought out the wand and conjured up a spell that modified the comb's behaviour. Snow-White still was floored. She would remain like that for a while longer, but as soon as the dwarfs got home, Hilda was certain, it all would be good. No need to seek out the little guys for this, they had their work cut out for them.

The wicked witch just pushed Snow-White into the house and closed the door. "It'll work out." With those words, Hilda got on her broom again and started looking out for the queen.



Hilda - Snow White revisited
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