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Hilda and Zelda

by Paul Kater

The fourth book in the “Hilda the Wicked Witch” series.

License Notes, Smashwords Edition:

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Contents:

14. Let's be concrete

15. This stinks

16. Thanks for the fish

28. Witches Meeting (1)

29. Witches Meeting (2)

30. Hospital

31. The plan

32. Here comes trouble

1. Dragon attack

Once upon a time there was a witch who, by a freak coming together of incidents, had been pulled into our world. After many a strange adventure, she met a man who had a certain book that enabled the witch to get back to her own world.

Years later, another freak incident brought that same man to the world of the witch. The man became a wizard and they formed a magical bond. As a team they fought a battle, a challenge, in the ominous labyrinth of Gurthreyn. And won.

-=-=-

Hilda watched the giant as he put the last dragon back in its pen. "And please, next time watch them more carefully, will you? Ordinaries are not too thrilled when dragons start trampling over their villages."

"But he did not mean any harm," the giant tried to make things less bad.

William shook his head. "Go and tell that to the villagers who are out of a house now."

"Oh, yes, I'll do that!" The giant's face lit up like a giant christmas tree.

"No, you won't!", Hilda exclaimed. "William, please remember that giants and sarcasm don't go well together."

William moved his broom next to Hilda's again. "Will do. It's so easy to forget."

Hilda grinned. "Yes. I know." And she was not going to tell why she knew. It was too embarrassing.

The magical couple made a safety tour around the area, to be certain that all dragons were once again safely tucked away in their den. Finally they were satisfied. They said goodbye to Archibald the giant and turned their brooms to their home.

"I really, really hope things will calm down a bit," Hilda complained. "We're spending more time on the brooms than in bed lately and I don't like that development."

William nodded. "I know what you mean. Now it was the dragon escape. Last month we had the unicorns, and I don't even want to go back to the fake Pegasi."

"Don't. Please don't. We are going home, we eat and then we sleep for a year," Hilda agreed with him.

They crossed the village that had been partly flattened by the dragons

"Maybe we can go and help these people rebuild some of their buildings," William thought.

"We don't. This is their work. We did our job, we got the dragons." Hilda was determined, and William sensed it also through the bond. He was glad she was so clear about it.

They got home, so tired that they could hardly see straight. They did not bother with the kitchen; Hilda magicked up some food and then they headed for bed...

-=-=-

"I don't want to wake up... The year hasn't passed yet," Hilda complained as she stretched her arms out. It was inevitable, though. She was awake. "Hey, are you awake too?"

William felt the prods in his side. "What? Awake? What's that?"

"Good. You're here too. At least I'm not alone in my misery," Hilda mumbled as she crawled against William who put an arm around her.

"Go back to sleep. We still have eleven months and three weeks to go."

"Yeah, sure," Hilda muttered, "and I'm going to believe that."

They both grinned, but decided on a while longer in bed.

As they were up finally, Hilda frowned. "This stupid running around after dragons destroyed my ability to sit and be relaxed."

"I hope we have some time to get that back, sweetwitch. Here, more coffee for you." As William said it, the crystal ball started chiming. "I'll get it..."

Hilda blew him a kiss.

"Oh... hello handsome wizard," a sultry voice came from the call as he took the call.

Hilda shot from the table to the crystal ball and pushed William aside. "Mary-Belle, no going after my wizard. You know we are bonded and you should keep your hormones in your pocket when you call us."

"Tut, tut," the blue-haired witch said, as she fanned herself with her fingers. "Touchy? Possessive? PMS? Or are we having a more general confidence crisis?"

"I just want you to know what I just told you," Hilda said. "What I always tell you, so I think the problem is with you, not with me. Now, what do you want?"

"My, we're really touchy today. Well, fine, have it your way. There's something funny going on with Zelda. She's not answering her ball, her closer circle has no clue where she is."

"Zelda? Hmmm. I never have much contact with her. She's weird. But I guess we can go over to her place today and have a look." Hilda frowned. "Thanks for letting us know. And bag those hormones, Mary-Belle, William's mine and I don't share."

Mary-Belle stuck out her tongue and then her image vanished in a puff of orange smoke.

"Who was that, and who is Zelda?" William found those very valid questions.

"Mary-Belle is a floozy. She's always after men and never seems to be able to keep one. Well, with her attitude that's hardly surprising." Hilda did not elaborate on what attitude that was. "Zelda... nutcase. Always goes around in black stuff, pretends to be the most magnificent thing since witchcraft. Oh, she does good things too, but the way she does them..."

William glanced at his witch. "Care to clarify that one?"

"Okay, small example if you make me more coffee. Zelda works a place not too far from here. Once they had an infestation of rats. Now that's something simple to deal with. She however turned the rat colony into flying rats, like bats, but bigger. And they torment the villagers at least twice a night. Stuff like that. Nasty stuff. But the people in her village don't complain. It's hard to get a good witch."

"And they are probably scared of her," William assumed.

"Yeah. That too. Looks like we have more work piled on our neck, William. No sleeping for a year." She pulled a face.

"Let's first finish eating. We can go there later, I think. If this Zelda person is gone for a while, a few hours won't make much of a difference." William had refilled Hilda's coffee cup.

-=-=-

They were on their rounds. Hilda had suggested to handle that first, and then, instead of annoying the shepherds, they'd head over to Zelda's home.

William noticed that Hilda was not her boisterous wild self that morning. There was no teasing King Walt, no frightening the villagers. "You are tired, Hilda. Are you sure this trip to Zelda's house is a good idea?"

"We have to, William. Yes, I'm tired, but you are as well. So don't tell me, okay?" She smiled at her wizard.

"Okay, sweetwitch."

"Crappedy crap." Hilda looked behind them. "We have company."

William looked back also. "Holy Bejeebus. Don't tell me Archibald messed up again."

"Archibald messed up again. Dive." In their quickly reducing wake, two dragons came up on them.

At the moment they dove and split up, the two dragons were almost on top of them. Luckily for the magical couple, these dragons were very very large and also very very sluggish in their aerial movements. They overshot their targets and worked hard to turn around.

"Suck an elf," Hilda grumbled, "this is hardly what we need. If I get my hands on that giant, I'm going to whoop his ass so that he can't sit for a week." She already had her wand in her hand and hung in the air, waiting for William to join her and keeping an eye on the dragons.

The two large animals had finally completed their turn and now were building up speed again.

"William... where are you...", she mumbled.

"Right here," he said as he swooped up next to her. "What the hell do these beasts want here? They are not supposed to be here."

"I know. Split and charge from behind."

Hilda and William fell away sideways, making room for the dragons to pass them without harm once again. It was as if an aircraft carrier were rushing by. The magical couple, well versed in the art of dragon-catching, pulled round and started following the dragons that were flapping their mighty wings to turn. The magical people knew that this maneuver was the best moment to get to the dragons as the animals would not be paying much attention to their tails. Turning fast in full flight was a task for these big beasts.

Wands drawn and magic ready, Hilda and William raced towards the dragons. Bolts of power bounced away from them, intended to immobilise the dragons and hold them suspended for transport. They had done that so often in the past weeks, it had become routine. The problem was now, however, that the dragons were not keeping their part of the routine. The magic did not seem to affect them. They completed their turn and looked for their victims again.

As they had gotten so close to the dragons, the couple was already behind the animals. Hilda grabbed control of William's broom and landed them on the back of one of the dragons.

"Sorry, not a soft landing, but this is safe for now," she growled, angry that their trick hadn't worked.

They had to hold on to the large knobby bumps of their carrier, as the two dragons were gaining speed again.

"Good thing these are stupid ones," Hilda muttered, "they'll be looking for us for a while longer."

"What went wrong?", William asked. He didn't understand.

"Beats me. Someone did something to these dragons. Set them up with some kind of magic so ours is not working on them. Or maybe any other magic. Oh crap!"

The dragons were making another turn. Hilda and William had to hold on extra tightly to the bumps, otherwise they'd fall off. William had magically stuck their brooms to his back, they could not spare the hands to hold onto those as well.

"Time to think of something," William said.

2. Nobbleback

"Great plan," Hilda said, "but what? How do you stop things like these if magic has no effect?"

The dragons were still cruising around, but it would not take much longer before they understood that their searching was in vain.

"We can outrun them," William thought out loud, "but that does not take care of the problem. And if you can't beat them, join them. Hilda, how good is your knowledge of dragons?"

"What? What for?" She looked at her wizard and hoped he had a serious plan. Most of them sounded less than that.

"Can you magic up something that looks like a dragon? Flying and big and mean and all the accessories?"

"Dragons have no accessories, William. But I think I can create a dragon like that. And you should be able too, my sweet man."

The dragon on which they sat started to tilt precariously to the left. It was obviously starting a new route to look for them.

"Okay. Now, if we can make these dragons, could they be big enough to scare these two?", William asked.

"Hardly. These dragons are too stupid to be scared. They are basic instinct creatures. Oh... wait... I think I know something..." Hilda grinned. "I am going to create a dragon, and I need you to create a copy of it. Change its colours a bit, but that's all. It has to be an exact copy. We're going to give the boys a few girlfriends. As soon as they are flying level again, that is."

William smiled. It was great how Hilda caught on and made a viable plan from his idea. "Just hope these two are not gay."

"Oh, shush you."

Their dragon levelled its flight path. Hilda drew her wand and mumbled a handful of Latin spells. Nothing happened. "Crappedy crap. I hate Latin... I want a female Nobbleback dragon. Almost as big as this one. And in heat. And straight ahead." It took the wand a few seconds to interpret the magical wish to magical existence.

Several hundred yards ahead, a new megatonne dragon appeared. It was just as ugly as the one the magical couple was riding, just not so sadly coloured.

William, wand in hand, said: "I want one like that, but more red." Nothing happened. "I didn't screw up any Latin, so what's wrong?"

Hilda shook her head. "Female Nobblebacks don't come in red. Nor in purple. You can pick yellow, green or blue. And mine's blue so you pick yellow."

William repeated his request to the wand. A second dragon appeared, next to the blue one that Hilda had created and was controlling.

"We have to bring them closer, so the boys can get a good whiff," said Hilda, "and give me my broom back. As soon as these boys see the girls, they'll lose interest in us and head after them, so by then we have to be off this back."

William handed over her broom, thought about the good whiff, and followed Hilda's lead on bringing their creations closer.

"Can you please make your dragon fly a bit more naturally, William?", Hilda asked. "You make it look like a horse with sore feet."

William grumbled something, looked at the neighbouring Nobbleback and ported that to his dragonness.

"Now you make it fly like a boy. William, please, a bit more graceful?"

"Damn, witch, what do I know of graceful dragon girls? I never thought I'd see a live one in my previous life and now I've been chasing them, I'm sitting on one and making one up. Bear with me!"

Hilda grinned. "Sorry. Just couldn't help myself. You're doing well. Get ready to fly off this boy, William, the boys are extending their nostrils, and that means- now!"

William sensed the push through the bond before he heard her words, and was on his broom and over the dragon already. Hilda joined him.

"Now we have to get the girls to fly somewhere where our boys do no harm," she said to William. "Maybe Archibald will like a few more."

"Holy Bejeebus. All the way over there again. Well, alright. We have to lose them somewhere." William sighed. It was indeed their best shot.

"Make sure you stay behind the boys, William," Hilda warned him. "They might get crazy ideas and behind them is the best spot then. Now, let's set course to Archibald and his Dragon's Den. And we should try to keep the boys flying as fast as they can, they'll be nice and tired when they arrive. So let's speed up our ladies."

William was relieved that Hilda was there to take control of the situation. After all the adventures in this really strange land, there were still things popping up from all sides that blew him out of his wizardly shoes.

They made the lady-dragon imitations go faster and faster, and the male Nobblebacks kept up with ease. The insanely large wings did not even move very fast, so it was obvious that these dragons were able to achieve incredible airspeeds.

"Hilda, I think we should fly lower," William said. "The turbulence makes it impossible to keep the broom steady."

"I'm sure that what you say is true, but I'm going lower because their wings almost blow me away," Hilda replied and dropped down fifty yards.

"Indeed," William grinned as he followed her. "That's the same thing."

The trip carried on for several hours, but finally the rocks of Archibald's lair came into view.

"William. You need to do both girls now. I have to go ahead and warn Archibald." Hilda stated it and without more information she shoved the control of her blue dragon into William's magical hands.

"Holy Bejeebus," he muttered, seeing how Hilda shot away on her broom. "Right. Easy does it, girls."

"Archibald!" Hilda magically enhanced the volume of her voice so the giant would hear her from a proper distance. "We're bringing two Nobblebacks and we need you to store them for us. They're wild and under a magical spell!"

"Grimhilda, how nice to see you again," the giant smiled. "Nobblebacks? How nice, I don't have those yet." He clapped his hands, causing a few three-ton rocks in the mountains behind him to shift position. "I'm sure I can put them up somewhere for you, lady witch."

"Great. William is bringing them in with two fake lady-dragons. If you can point out where the Nobblebacks have to go, that would be helpful. And the more when you can do that quickly."

"Oh, certainly, Grimhilda. I'll go and stand near the opening in the rock where the Nobbles have to fly through to be tucked in." He took four big steps and was near a tremendous hole in the rocks. "In here."

"Are you kidding me? That's too small for these beasts, Archibald!" Hilda saw impending doom

"It will fit, witch, I know that." Archibald did not like it when his expertise was doubted.

"Right. I'll believe you. I'm going back to help William. Thanks, Archibald!" Hilda turned her broom and dashed off again, Archibald waving at her.

"Nobblebacks. How sweet," the giant said to himself. He looked at the hole. "That's big enough. Sure. Must be. I certain."

Hilda reached William again. "How are you holding up?"

"It's hard work, I can tell you. Oh, thank you." The last bit was because Hilda took 'her' dragonness back. William could relax somewhat now.

"Archibald has a space for them. He said. You should put in your lady first, to see if it works. If it doesn't, I'll direct mine away. Let's try and split the boys up so we have couples we can manage, okay?"

William nodded. He let his lady dragon sail off to the left a bit. One of the boy Nobblebacks changed his course, in pursuit of the one he wanted. The other Nobbleback howled and hooted as he saw the ladies split up and sailed after his brother in flight.

"Crap," said Hilda, "they're both after the same one!"

"Does this mean we have a problem now?", William asked as he noticed how the two real dragons started a fight in flight.

The first Nobbleback that had gone after the yellow girl was not pleased how his partner was also going after his choice. In an impressive maneuver, he turned sideways and tried to grab a wing of his now adversary. It was a common technique among the larger dragons, to disable competition in the air. One wing, after all, made for miserable flying. The adversary however knew the trick as well and dropped low, so the grabbing claw only found air.

As all the aerial acrobatics went on, the two massive dragons lost their speed as most of their limited attention span now was moved to the male dominance arena.

"William... slow down... come with me..." Hilda kept her eyes on the battling dragons and had a feeling what was going to happen. She looked downward. "Crappedycrap..."

William looked down also. "Yes. The villagers won't be happy."

"We have to get them apart before they destroy all people down there," Hilda said. "I'll make my dragon yellow also, we'll bring them closer and hope that gets them back in line."

It took them a considerable time to attract the attention of the battling dragons, but somehow they pulled it off, and on they went again, the last miles before they reached Archibald's Den.

William saw the immense gaping hole in the rock wall. So that was where Archibald wanted the dragons to go. The wizard wondered if his fake lady would fit through that. Just before his yellow miss would hit, he made her thinner so the apparition would go into the darkness. As soon as she was out of view, William dissolved the image and watched his first boy dive into the cave as well. Miraculously, the animal fit through the opening and disappeared from view as well.

Hilda steered her lady dragon into the hole as well, but something, somewhere went wrong.

The boy she was leading looked around and saw her and William. Somewhere in its dragon brain magic clicked and it remembered. In an impossible move for such a heavyweight, it almost halted its flight and turned around. Then the dragon hit the air with its wings as it faced Hilda.

"Crap!" Hilda saw the move of the animal and that it was heading the wrong way.

William also had witnessed the turn in events and sped towards Hilda, who had turned her broom and was now heading away from the cave again.

"William. It looks as if we have a situation," said the witch.

3. Here, dragon

"We're also going the wrong way," William knew, "and the big beast behind us has too much of an interest in us."

"We have to split up," Hilda declared. "Maybe that will confuse it. You go left, I go right. Whoever gets it has to think fast."

"Hey!", a loud voice yelled from behind them, "bring me back my dragon!" Archibald scratched his big head, not understanding the fuss these two were making. After all, it was just a dragon, be it a decent-sized one.

"Working on it, buddy," William said. "Okay, split then." He pulled his broom to the left, Hilda went the other way. They both turned around, so at least they were facing the right direction.

The Nobbleback reacted as soon as he could, turned in the air and took up his pursuit again. Hilda was his chosen one. Of course. He was a boy, and not gay.

William watched how the immense flying bulk of the dragon chased after Hilda. The bond with his witch also told him that she was feeling at ease all of a sudden, as if she had a plan. He wished he knew what she was up to.

Hilda knew the dragon was behind her, of course, and flew towards the hole in the rock, just fast enough that the dragon could not get her. Occasionally she dropped speed a bit, making the dragon come closer, as if to encourage it. "Come on, boy," she whispered, "you can do it." A grin was on her face as the immense slab of rock wall came closer and closer.

The witch seemed to tumble downwards, towards the opening of the cave. The enormous Nobbleback dragon followed her, mocking gravity every moment of its flight.

Only one hundred feet to the cave... and with the speed they both had, that distance was crossed in a matter of mere seconds. The dragon was so close to the witch that its body took away all possibilities to see her. Archibald as well as William held their breath as they saw the dragon dive into the cave. The sound of the dragon hitting the walls as he shot into the rock made eerie echoes.

"Where's the witch?", Achibald yelled, without needing to.

"I don't know," William said. "I just know she's fine." He looked around trying to find Hilda. The bond told him she was fine, he just couldn't see her.

"Hi guys!", her cheery voice came from up above. Slowly, in a spiral, Hilda came down.

"Holy Bejeebus, Hilda, what did you do?!" William was tremendously relieved to see her again, despite the reassurance through the bond.

"Oh, it was easy. I dove to the opening, dragon followed me, and just before going into the cave I pulled up and went straight up along the wall." Hilda quickly set down on the ground. As her feet touched the soil, she let go of her broom which fell down in two pieces.

William landed his broom next to her. "Crikey. You really worked the broom too hard this time."

Hilda stared at the parts. "I know. But it had to be. And we got the dragon." With a smile she looked at William. "And we have a happy giant."

Archibald kept his distance from the two tiny people on the ground. It would make for poor publicity if he were to accidentally trample his guests after being in the business for so long. "You did a good job, magical folks," he said. "Thank you for bringing me those two new ones, they'll look good in the collection."

"Just be careful for a while, Archibald. They are under a magic spell, so we don't know how they will react. Do have fun with them." Hilda waved at the giant. "Now you will have to take me home on your broomstick, William." She grinned at him, blue sparkles in her black eyes.

William grinned also, mounted his broom and had Hilda sit in front of him.

"Bye, Archibald!", they yelled as William made the broom go up.

"Goodbye, you two!", the giant said.

"Isn't this romantic?", Hilda asked William as they were flying.

William had an arm around his witch, just because it felt good. Never before had they shared a broom like this. "It is," he said, a smile on his face and her long grey hair also. He could have easily used magic to make that behave differently, but it felt good.

"Most witches only do this when they're young," Hilda sighed, leaning back into William. "Stupid kids. They don't know what they're missing."

After several hours, they reached the house again. There were a few arrows with messages in the purple board next to the door; William picked them off it as they went inside.

"What are you going to do about the broom?", he asked as he took the pieces of paper off the arrows.

"Get another one," was the simple reply. "Too bad about the old one, but things happen. What's the news?"

"Nothing really special. A few requests for better soil and stuff like that." William tossed the papers on the table. "No business that can't wait."

"Good. I am in need of food. This dragon stuff was not what we needed. And we haven't seen Zelda's place yet either. We should go there this afternoon." Hilda dropped herself on the couch. "Will you be my sweet wizard and make me food?"

William ruffled her hair. "I'll get you food. And food for me also."

"Hey, no harrassing the resident witch!", Hilda whailed as she slapped at William's hands, but she laughed as she did so.

William made it clear to the kitchen that they were in no mood to wrestle it for food, so he was done remarkably fast, and soon they were happy and filled up.

"I want to go to sleep," Hilda announced. She lay down on the couch, her head in William's lap, curled herself into the most comfortable position and fell asleep. It did not take her a second.

William fell asleep only a few seconds after her.

-=-=-

"William?"

"Hmmm..." His awareness dreaded coming back.

"You were sleeping."

"I know. So were you. You're addictive, also in that way." William worked his way through the nebula's in his head.

"Oh. In that case it's good you were sleeping. But you have to wake up now, sweet wizard. I have strong tea and cookies, and after that we have to go to Zelda's place. Really."

William opened his eyes.

Hilda's face was in front of his, carefully examining him. "You woke up. Good wizard." She planted a kiss on his nose. "Now, tea and cookies. Naps are good." She nodded to her own words, affirming them.

They sipped their tea and the tray with the cookies was reduced to a tray with crumbs in no time flat.

Hilda got up, her teacup in hand, and walked over to the corner where her spare brooms were. "Hmm. This one should be good." She picked one from the collection and made it hover. She pushed it from several sides; the broom's response was smooth. "Yup, new broom accomplished. I get more tea for that."

They finished their tea and hauled themselves outside. The rest and food had done miracles; they were airborne quickly, and heading for Zelda's house.

This time there were no interruptions from dragons or other flying objects. It took them less than an hour to reach the village where Zelda had waved her wand. They landed near the house, wands in hand. There was no strong magic around.

"She's been gone for a while already," Hilda told William, "you can feel that too? A witch that's gone away always leaves a sad feeling around her house."

"Grizelda the witch is not at home," the house said, "if you care to leave a message, she will get back to you as soon as she can."

It made William grin.

Hilda shook her head and walked up to the house. "Sloppy. No chains, no locks, no-" Then she flew through the air, landing on a small haystack. "Okay, I take that back. There is protection." She crawled out of the hay, magicked the straws out of her hair and looked at the house. "Okay. Now we certainly have to get in there. Do you have one of your interesting ideas?"

William grinned, then looked at the house again. He prodded towards it with his wand and tried to find out how far he could go before he was thrown away. After he came out of the haystack also, he had a fairly good idea. "Not a thick layer of magic around it," he decided. "And I wonder..." He took his broom, lifted off and checked the roof. "Thought so. Most people forget that." He looked at Hilda. "No magic here. We can go in through the chimney."

The wicked witch raised an eyebrow. "Chimney. Right. Do you hear what you say, William, my deranged wizard? No way that I am going to crawl through that pipe there."

"You don't need to crawl, Hilda, I can just drop you down there."

"Do you see me laugh, William?"

William turned to the chimney and looked down. "Not too high, could be worse." Using his wand, he cleaned the inside of the smoke channel and for convenience's sake he made a simple ladder appear in it also. "I'll open the door for you, from the inside, if all goes well!", he called out to Hilda who was walking around Zelda's domicile.

"And if things don't go well?", the witch returned.

"Hell if I know," William replied, and then he swung his first leg over the rim of the chimney. Using the ladder, he quickly moved down and soon he was in the main room of the house of the missing witch. He carefully reached for the door. It opened without a complaint.

There was a shimmer that seemed to go around Zelda's house as the magical protection was lifted.

"Well, that was easy..." William looked outside. "Hilda? Door's open, it should be safe to come in."

Hilda came in. "How did you remove that protection?" She couldn't believe he had pulled that off.

"I just opened the door. From the inside. That seems to be enough..."

"Really? That's all? Hard to believe..."

But it was that way. There was no problem, no trap or any other kind of surprise.

"Zelda's always been the odd one," Hilda explained to William as they were examining the living room. They did not find anything out of the ordinary. The bats were still hanging from the beams overhead, in the darkness. The jars with herbs and frogs were nicely arranged on shelves, although there was no way William could decide what order they were in.

The kitchen in Zelda's house was entirely different from the maniac at Hilda's. It asked them, as they entered, if there was anything it could make for them, and listed a handful of ideas that would be good for them. And healthy.

"Did I mention odd?", Hilda grinned as they listened to the kitchen talking. "Where's the fun in things with a kitchen like that?"

William could see some advantages though and memorised a few details about the kitchen. Perhaps, he thought, there was a way to convince Hilda that her kitchen needed an upgrade.

"Say, house," Hilda said out loud as they returned to the living room, "did Zelda ever mention something about what she was going to do?"

"Yes. But I am not allowed to tell you," said the house. It had a sultry voice, and an accent that reminded William of something Italian.

4. Good little witch

"Not allowed? Come on, house. She's a witch, I'm a witch. No secrets, you know. We both know the winks, the nudges and the secret handshake, so spit it out."

"No." The house was determined.

"And if I promise I will take you apart if you don't tell us?", Hilda asked.

"Even then: no."

"Suck an elf, she really put a spell on you, didn't she? Oddball..."

"What can I say," said the house, "she's a witchy woman."

"Hilda... come and have a look here," William said. He was in Zelda's bedroom.

"What did you find?" Hilda curiously entered the room and looked around. "Eeeuw!" The very prominent thing in the room was a huge canopy bed, with golden posts and enormous layers of red velvet. There were golden fringes on the draperies. "How obnoxious! She wants nightmares, I am sure of that!"

"Hey, witch. Over here." William stood near a table-like thing, a desk of sorts without legs, that hovered against a wall.

Hilda looked at the desk. "Hmmm. Odd, but a nice touch. So, what's it you found?"

He pointed at a few sheets of paper on the desk.

Hilda looked at them. "Crappedy crap..." She saw drawings. They showed William's battered truck in the mountains where he had 'arrived' in her world. Hilda put her fingers on some doodles that were scribbled at the edges of the paper. "This is definitely Not Good."

William considered the scribble and couldn't make more of it than that. "And what does that signify?"

"These things are magical symbols. This is a transporting symbol. That one is a travelling symbol. Here's a protection sign, and that one is something to put spells on dragons."

It took a moment for William to grasp the implication. "Holy Bejeebus. So you think..."

"Not think. I'm sure. Zelda charged these two Nobblebacks to go after us. I don't know exactly for what reason, but this is something bad, and I think we should get to your truck. Something there attracted her attention."

William folded up the drawings and tucked them in his pocket as they left the house and collected their brooms. They jumped on them and took off into the air. They did not talk a lot as they raced their brooms to the limit.

-=-=-

The mountainous area came into view. Hilda beckoned William to slow down. "We should be careful now. We don't know where Zelda is, what she's doing here and what she prepared for possible unwanted visitors."

William nodded and popped out his wand.

They moved ahead relatively slowly. Everything around them was rock and stone, making it hard to find the way around, but Hilda's sense of direction here was remarkable. They crossed over the lower mountains, made their way around some of the higher ones, and so far they did not encounter a problem.

Wands sensing out, to increase their range of finding magic, they reached the spot where William had appeared, after Hilda's call for help. The truck, severely deteriorated, still sat against the wall of rock. There was no sign of magic. Also there was no sign of Zelda.

They landed near the truck. William regarded it with a strange mix of emotions and walked over to it. Hilda watched him go and started going around the plateau, trying to locate something out of the ordinary.

William touched the metal of his truck. It was strange, after so long a time, to see the vehicle again, or at least what was left of it. The door on the driver's side was open. He tried to recall if they had left it that way and couldn't. Both Hilda and he had been shaken up quite badly after his appearance. Things inside the car were still a mess.

Hilda walked around the immense boulders on the plateau. There were faint traces of residual magic, but not strong enough for her to get a clue to what had happened here. Zelda was not around, that was clear to her.

William got into the truck and looked around the inside. It looked relatively normal. As he sat in the seat, he looked around another time, and then he noticed the thing that was off. There had been a small plastic dreamcatcher hanging from the rearview mirror and that was gone. He got his wand.

"Where's the dreamcatcher?", he wanted to know. The wand shuddered for a moment, telling him that the dreamcatcher was not around.

"Where's the dreamcatcher?", he asked again. The wand responded in the same way, so he was not mistaken. "Shit." He almost fell out of the truck in his hurry. "Hilda!!"

She heard him yell and used her broom to get back to him. "What is it?" His voice had sounded worried, the bond even more.

"Something from my world went missing from the car. I think Zelda got it." He reached for the drawings he had taken with him and looked at them. "Car...", he pointed. "Rocks..." He held up the drawing and started walking about until he had found the viewpoint from where the drawing was made.

"Crappedy crap," the witch said as she looked at the drawing. She pointed her wand at it. "See that?"

In the drawing there was a nice flat area of rock, slightly to their right. In the actual rock, there was a rift, five feet wide. It was in almost the exact spot where William had come from.

"Oh no. Don't tell me what you think happened," William groaned. "She can't. She didn't."

"I think she did."

The bleak facts all supported what they feared. Zelda had found the truck, and a way to go to William's world.

"Are we now officially screwed?", William wondered.

"Depends on how you look at it. We're free of Zelda. That could be good." Hilda felt the worry that took William in its claws. "Yes. Your world now has a witch on the loose."

"I have to go back there and do something about that."

Hilda nodded. "And I have to go with you."

William looked at her. "I am glad you will do that."

"Mind you that I am not crazy about it. Your world is insane, so you have to help me, William." Hilda looked at her wizard and her face showed fear. Her memories of that crazy place were daunting.

William hugged her. "I will. Nothing will happen to us, Hilda. I'll make sure of that."

She nodded and drew in a lot of breath. "Then we have to go. Now."

William nodded. "It's not what we planned. But you are right."

They mounted their brooms and flew towards the opening in the mountain wall. The rift was black. It looked as if the light that fell into it just disappeared. They looked into it, but there was nothing but blackness.

"Let's go," said Hilda. She took William's hand. Together they flew into the void.

-=-=-

The magical couple was sucked into a kind of whirl, tossing and turning them around for several long seconds. Then the strange feeling was over and they were in a different darkness.

"William. Where are we?"

William looked around before he could answer the question. There were trees. No streetlights. He used his wand to make light and gasped. "We are where I was when I came into your world." He looked behind them. "And that is what we came through."

A strange blob, looking as air liquified, hung in the air. It seemed to wait for someone to dive into it.

Hilda popped up her wand also and examined the blob. "So we are in your world? Suck an elf... This thing has Zelda's signature all over it. Looks like she managed to secure the route back. Well, let's make a surprise..." She mumbled a few words, stated that she hated Latin, and then put a spell on the blob that it should not allow passage or any meddling by anyone else but herself and William. "Right. At least we have a way back home."

"So now we are facing an entire world in which a witch is on the loose." William looked at the road they were next to. As he remembered, the town where Bert lived was closest by. "I think we should head over there, to the town you know, sweetwitch. It is nearest, and my bet is that she went there."

"William? Please make sure I don't go crazy in this place. I am not taking any responsibilities now we're here." Hilda touched his arm and looked very serious.

"We'll be fine, Hilda. We're together now. You help me in your world. I'll help you in mine. I think the first thing to do is to become less prominent. Get clothes people wear here."

"Oh, yes!" Hilda grinned. "I remember those, look!" A whoosh of the wand later she wore a white t-shirt and faded blue-jeans again, with black loafers on her feet. She hopped off the broom and twirled round for William, his wand still lighting up the area. "How do I look?"

"Hilda, you should wear that at home. You look so incredibly sexy like that." William flicked his wand and wore something that looked like his regular clothes, but there was no necktie this time. It did not belong to a wizard. And his shirt was wizardly blue, with silver stitching in the collar.

"Oh, I like you like that," said Hilda. She hugged William, who had also stepped off his broom. He did not fight the hug.

"I suggest we fly to the town limit and proceed on foot into town," the wizard said after the hugging and cuddling was done. "We don't want to attract attention with the brooms."

"Good. I'll do what you say, William. I'll be a good little witch for once. Just once, remember?"

He grinned. "You'll try, you mean."

"Isn't that the same?" Hilda hopped on her broom.

"I guess for you it is," the wizard grinned as he mounted his broom again. "Now, let's go to the town and stay out of sight. It's best if we go across the fields and stay away from the road."

William dimmed the light on his wand and made it just light the ground in front of them. They set off, crossed the road and flew over the fields, towards the bright blob in the distance that was the town.

5. Terrorists

"Holy Bejeebus."

They had touched down behind one of the first houses; in its shadow Hilda had shrunk their brooms and now they walked into the main street. Walking was difficult, as the former asphalt road had apparently been turned upside down.

"I dare say that Zelda's been here," Hilda remarked about the obvious.

In places, remains of cars showed in the debris. Most streetlights lay on the ground, as if a giant hand had snapped them like matches. The street was silent in a way that was different from the normal night silence. Usually, William knew, there would be the occasional sound of a car driving, a radio or tv blaring. But now there was nothing but silence.

"I think you're right," William said as they tried to make their way over the large lumps of road.

"William, this is not going to work. We need our brooms, or we'll spend all night getting through this street."

Now this was slightly exaggerated, but William had to agree that their progress now was minimal. He reached in his pocket, when somewhere a window on a higher floor of a house opened.

"Hey," a voice said in a loud whisper, "are you two crazy? Get the hell off the street before she comes back."

The window, in which there was no light, closed again quickly.

Hilda reached in William's pocket, took out the small brooms and returned them to their original shape. Before William could act, she hopped on hers, flew up to the window and knocked on it.

"Oh God," William groaned.

The window opened only a slit.

"Hey. Who are you talking about?", Hilda asked the invisible person in the house. "Dark haired woman, long hair, black lips, overdone necklace and a wide black dress on a broom?"

"Yes. Do you know her?" The person inside the house did not seem to notice Hilda's mode of transport.

"Yes, I do. Thanks. Any idea where she is?"

The person inside the house noticed Hilda's mode of transport. "Fuck, you're one of them?" The window was slammed shut, but Hilda already had her wand in hand and kept the window open.

"Calm down. We're the good ones."

William had lifted up to the window also. "Yes, really. We're the good guys, believe us."

A thud came from inside the room.

"Sounds like someone fainted," William remarked. "I suggest we go inside and wait for whoever it is to wake up and tell us some more. No good in flying about without a clue."

"Sometimes you say the most sensible things, William," Hilda grinned. She pushed the window open and they slipped into the room. There they found a man, a bed and a few chairs on the floor.

-=-=-

Charlie woke up. His first thoughts were of the strange vision he'd seen just before the lights went out. Two people on brooms, hanging outside his window. People like the raving mad woman who had torn up the city. He reached for his head, which still was in place. Somewhat of a reassurance. He did not recall getting onto his bed, but he was there. Opening his eyes, a curse escaped him. The two people he had seen were inside his bedroom!

"Oh, he's awake," said Hilda. "That's good."

Charlie wondered how that would be good, with the two so closeby.

"Good morning, young man," said William. "Nice of you to join us."

"How did you get in?", Charlie wanted to know.

"Through the window," William pointed. "And now, if you can answer a few simple questions, we'll leave through that again and you'll have your peace again."

"But-" Charlie gave up. "Who are you?"

"We're the people who will try to get rid of the witch," William explained.

"I'm a witch and he's wizard, and we want to get a move on," Hilda explained in her own way. "So tell us where the witch is who created all that havoc and we're off."

The man on the bed had by then found a comfortable position in the corner where his bed touched the wall. He held his pillow in front of him, as a defense against this strange couple. "I know nothing. I don't know who you are talking about, I don't know where she is, and I did not see her yesterday either!"

"Right," said Hilda. "So you know who we are talking about, you're scared out of your mind, and she's been here longer than one day. You're really helpful already."

The wicked witch got to her feet and stood close to the bed, Charlie trying to cower into his corner even more. The concrete wall did not work with him. "Now just tell us what you know and we'll go. It is in everyone's interest."

"She came here three days ago," Charlie blurted out, his eyes almost glued to the wand that had somehow appeared in the hand of the grey-haired woman. "No one knows her, she flew through the streets on a broom. Everyone thought it was a gimmick for a movie or so, until she screamed that she was going to take over this town. And there was no camera-crew. Day before yesterday she plowed over all the streets, as there were people following her in cars and on bikes. I tell you, she's crazy. And that is what I know. Can you go away now, please?"

"We'll go. Do you have any idea where she usually is when she's not out?", William asked the man.

"I'm not sure, but try O'Malley's pub," Charlie said. As he spoke, a loud noise from far away sounded through the still open window.

Hilda looked at William. "That's her." They jumped on their brooms and chased out of the window, leaving Charlie shaking on his bed.

"Why can't I just be drunk, like regular people," the man muttered.

As Charlie lamented his situation, the witch and the wizard were already gaining altitude and looking around. From several places in the town large plumes of smoke billowed upwards to the clear sky. Zelda was not taking half measures to establish her presence.

"We need to go up some more, William," Hilda said, "we're too low here."

As they climbed even higher, a roaring noise caught William's attention. He looked around beneath them and saw a lonely tank plow through the beat-up street.

"What kind of monster is that?", Hilda asked. She already had her wand in hand.

"It is a military vehicle. They're hunting Zelda, no doubt," William said.

"That? Against a witch? They're mad, like everyone here," the witch snorted. "Let's go tell them that." The sound of an explosion changed her mind. "Suck an elf! What was that? Zelda, no doubt," she answered her own question.

"Sounds like it was over there," William pointed. A new pillar of smoke confirmed his feelings, so they set course for the latest place of havoc.

William recognised the area where the explosion had been as they came closer. He knew this town fairly well. "Shopping centre," he said, as he took the lead.

They arrived at a smoldering car-wreck. Smoke came from the burning tires. The magical couple landed their brooms on a piece of the road that was not completely upset and they had their wands in hand, scanning for the presence of the witch they were after. There was no sign of Zelda. There was, however, a sign that others were near.

"Drop your weapons and put your hands over your heads!", an amplified voice boomed through the street.

"Oh. Fabulous. Just what we need," William said as he threw protection around himself and his witch. At the end of the street was a kind of police car looking like a Land Rover. The voice came from a big loudspeaker mounted on the top.

Hilda looked at the car and pointed her wand.

"No, wait, let me try to talk sense into them," William warned her.

"Useless," Hilda decided, but lowered her hand anyway.

William enhanced his voice. "We're not the bad guys, we're here to capture the one who does this."

"Drop your weapons and put your hands over your heads!", the amplified voice boomed through the street once again.

"Hilda? You're right. There's just no respect for magical people." A short burst of gunfire, clearly warning shots, underlined his words.

"Crappedy crap, you stop that," Hilda said, flicking her wand at the police vehicle. The gunfire stopped after a few seconds. "Come on, we have to talk sense into them." She extinguished the fire of the burning car and then flew off to the police car, William behind her.

There were two policemen in the car. One of them was doing all he could to open the window. He had his weapon in his hand, William saw. The wizard cast a spell to the gun, which became too hot to handle. The police officer dropped it, his scream was even heard outside the car.

Hilda and William got off their brooms. William opened the door, using magic as it was locked. "Gentlemen," he said, "I think we need a word."

Two pairs of eyes stared at the magical couple. The policemen could not think of a word that could express their need.

"There is a witch on the loose," Hilda said, not minding the stunned expression of the two men in the car. "We're here to try and grab her. It would be very convenient if you mind your own business and let us do what we're better equipped for. You'll just be in our way."

"Now wait a minute, lady," the man not behind the wheel said. "Who do you think you are?"

"I am Grimhilda, the wicked witch. And this is William, my wizard. Lady is okay for once, but usually people address me as honourable witch."

"Honourable witch?" The man behind the wheel almost fell out of the car in surprise.

"Yes, very good. Now be on your way and let us deal with Zelda."

The driver of the police Land Rover got out of the car and looked down at the witchy woman. "Miss Grimhilda, or whatever your name is, my name is Constable Barker. And I think we should take you and your friend for a drive down to the station and ask you some questions."

"Uhm, officer, I don't think this is-", William tried.

"I'm sorry, sir, but this is necessary. There is a group of terrorists out there and we do not want innocent citizens like you to get hurt."

William shook his head and held up his broom. "You probably did not see this, did you? We came flying towards you."

"More people have reported a person flying on a broom, sir. We are convinced that the terrorists have released some hallucinogenic gas that makes people see things."

"Well, in that case we don't need to go around in these clothes, Hilda." William popped up his wand and changed his clothes to the regular blue and silver robes he had gotten used to.

Hilda popped up her wand and changed her clothes to the red dress and the black cape with fringes. "Yeah. Much better, sweet man. Now let's find that witch."

"But you can't do that!", the police officer complained, "and how did you do that?"

"We didn't," said William as they mounted their brooms, "you just said we can't. Goodbye, officer." They flew off, upwards, hoping they'd be able to find a trace of Zelda.

Constable Barker slowly closed his mouth and turned to his partner. "Not a word. Not one word. I don't want to be locked away and neither do you. Do you hear me? This was an effect from the gas. It got to us both."

The man in the car nodded silently.

6. Curfew

William, knowing the town, took the lead again as they started to survey the place. Not all the roads had been turned over, so far. Havoc seemed to spread, from the road into town they had taken, into the centre. Some areas hadn't even been touched by the presence of the evil witch, they noticed. At least not physically. The absence of people in the street was a clear sign, however, that Zelda's fame had already spread like fire.

"Let's go to O'Malley's pub," the wizard suggested. "Our scared friend mentioned that."

Hilda nodded. "I remember that place, I think. That's where the men on the two-wheeled machines were. Pathetic bunch."

William frowned for a moment, then they dropped to street level and found their way to the bar.

The street where O'Malley's pub was situated was not in too bad a shape. Only one side of the road had been damaged, but that was damaged severely. A small gorge lay in the middle of the street. A car would not be able to pass through it. A motorcycle or a bicycle would work. And a broom, of course.

The outside of the bar had changed somewhat, since William's last visit. Nothing dramatic, and certainly nothing that indicated the presence of a witch like Zelda. There was no sound either. Not inside the bar, not in the street.

Hilda's wand went round, and she shook her head. "No witch around at the moment. We'd better check inside then."

They dismounted from their brooms. William pushed against the door, which calmly opened. A strange smell came from the inside, making Hilda wiggle her nose. "Witch," she simply said and went inside, her broom in hand.

The pub was not a pub anymore. Everything was black. All the regular tables and chairs had been turned into massive black benches with black candles on them. The bar itself was now a large shrine with all kinds of artifacts in it. Some looked so bizarre that William was glad he did not know what they were. The mirror behind what had been the bar was now a grotesque image of witches and wizards doing all kinds of unmentionable things.

"Zelda's been here alright," Hilda nodded, disrupting the deadly silence that hung in the pub. "This is very much her style."

"I would never have guessed," said William, "as her house looked so normal."

"There are more sides to a witch than how her house looks, William." Hilda looked round, her wand in hand. "We might upset her a bit by rearranging her set-up here."

"Do you think that is a good thing?", William asked. "It will tell her we are here. At this moment we have the advantage of knowing she is here and she's oblivious to our whereabouts."

"I knew I kept you around for something, William." Hilda smiled at him. "Let's keep an eye on this place and look around at what she's been doing so far."

William nodded. He was more than willing to get out of the depressing place that had been O'Malley's. And he wondered what had become of Patrick O'Malley himself.

They left the pub, mounted their brooms and flew off.

William led them to the bookstore of his old friend, Bert Bantrey. The bookstore itself was still a bookstore. Some of the windows had been smashed and boarded up, but the door was still where it was supposed to be. He knocked on the door and stepped into the store, from where the familiar scent of books and ink welcomed him home.

"Hold it right there." The voice was determined and full of anger. The metallic click that had to be from a gun underlined how serious the owner of the voice was about his statement.

William stood still and held Hilda back also. "Bert? It's me. William Connoley."

"Sure. William Connoley does not walk 'round in a blue dress."

William changed his clothes into what Bert had been used to. "Better this way?"

"Holy shit. William. Is that you? What'd you do?" Bert still did not show himself, but William had by now determined where his friend of old was hiding.

"Yes Bert, it's me. And this is my... wife. Hilda."

"I'm not your wife, William, I'm your witch. That's better," Hilda commented.

Bert got to his feet, a large gun still pointing at the two people. "I know that voice," he said. "She's the woman who was here so many years ago. You knocked me out with a book. That was you." The barrel of the gun shook precariously.

"Yes. I'm glad you remember me," Hilda said.

The owner of the bookstore tightened his grip on his weapon. "If she is a real witch, then you can be anyone. How do I know you are William Connoley?"

William slowly and calmly told a few things that only he and Bert would know. About hunts for books they had done together. About a night in O'Malley's. And about the last telephone conversation they'd had before William had so mysteriously disappeared.

Bert lowered the gun. "You must be William then. But still I don't understand. What did you do, just now, when you were in that blue dress?"

"William is a wizard now," Hilda said before William had found a proper way to explain it. "He came to my world and somehow he changed into a magical person. And wizards wear the blue robes." She prodded him.

"It's true, Bert. I am a wizard." William held up the broom. "This is my transport."

"Get out of here, William Connoley. You do not fly on a broom. That is the stuff for fairy-tales." Bert put the gun on the counter and stepped closer, to shake the hand of his friend. And the woman who claimed to be a witch. It was remarkable, Bert noticed, how his friend put the broom down, but did not put away the little stick in his hand. William just took it in his left hand as long as it took to shake Bert's hand.

Bert then invited the two to the back of the store. "I'll make tea," he said. "And then I have to tell you what happened here." He checked outside the door, put up the "Closed" sign and locked up.

After he had made tea and they were sitting, Bert told them the fairy-tale the cops had already tried to sell them. That there was a terrorist attack on the town, and the strange things that seemed to happen were because of a gas.

"Bert. There is no gas. There is a witch on the loose here. And we are here to try and capture her before she damages too much."

Bert looked at William and shook his head. "Sorry William, you were not here when it all happened. I have seen it. The vision of a woman in black on a broom, and how she tore up the street. That's impossible."

Hilda coughed a few times and put her hand on William's arm, while through the bond she signalled him to drop the subject.

"Listen, William, I don't have much space, but I can offer you a place to sleep if you want," Bert offered. "I don't know where you've been, but I am mighty glad to see you again and maybe we can all go out for dinner once these terrorists have been caught."

The prospect of having a haven near the place where Zelda had made her camp was magnificent, so William and Hilda accepted Bert's offer gladly.

"I am not sure if I can provide food for you," he said as he showed them up the stairs and into the room they could use.

"Don't worry, Bert, we'll manage." William winked at Hilda who grinned back at him.

The room was reasonable. There was a bed, bed linen in ample supply and, very important, a large window. William had carried the two brooms with him in a cloaking spell. He put them against the side of the large closet in the room and stood before them so Bert would not notice them.

"Bert, this would be wonderful. Thank you so much."

Bert nodded. "You're welcome to stay as long as you want. Just remember the curfew. No one out after six in the evening. Not that anyone wants to go out these days. But I have to go home now, and see some people, so I'll be gone in a few minutes. Don't unlock the door, I beg you. I'll be back in the morning somewhere."

"Bert, don't worry about us. We'll be fine," said Hilda, patting the man on the shoulder. "William and I will be careful."

Bert nodded. "Do you want me to leave the gun here? I have another one at home."

"No, take it with you, my friend," said William, "we can handle ourselves. As Hilda said, don't worry about us."

"Good, good." The bookstore owner waved goodbye to them and went down the stairs. Not much later they heard the door being locked.

"Terrorists and gas. Curfew." William sat down on the bed and sighed. "What a story. And people eat it up!"

Hilda patted him on the shoulder. "See. I told you this world is insane. Once we have Zelda, we're going back to where things are in order, sweet man."

The wizard snickered for a moment. "Yeah. I'm actually beginning to believe you." He got to his feet again. "Let's forget about the curfew." The brooms jumped into their hands, the witch opened the window and away they went.

The couple moved to the row of houses and buildings on the other side of the street and then, as low as they could, flew to the place where Zelda had modified O'Malley's to her own liking.

"She's not here," Hilda said. "Not a trace of her."

From where they were, they had a good view over the town. There was only one pillar of smoke, the other fires had either died out or were put out by people. They flew over to the last fire, which they located in the garden of a school. All the books that originally belonged inside the building were now scattered about on the lawn. A fire that billowed up the greasy smoke originated in a pile of burning books. Every so often, a few of the books that were laying around would jump into the fire, keeping it burning.

"Pah," spat Hilda, and slammed the fire out. "That's sick, burning books." Together with William she put the books back into the school building and sealed it magically so Zelda would have quite a hard time getting them out again.

"That will show her that there are other magicals around," William noted.

"So what. She'll find out anyway, and she doesn't know who we are," Hilda muttered as she removed the embers and ashes that were still on the lawn. "So we still have the advantage."

At that moment a shot was fired. William caught the bullet. Hilda quickly looked around and saw the man with the rifle. The rifle gave in to her magical demand and liquified, dripping from the man's hands. In a flash they were on their brooms and on top of the shooting person.

"What was this for?", William asked the man as he held up the bullet. "That's not the way to greet people. I doubt you have many friends."

The man, his face pale and the crotch of his pants dark, stammered a few syllables.

"Pull yourself together, man," said Hilda. "Why were you attacking us? You don't even know us!"

The unfortunate sniper regained control of his vocal chords. "You are like that other woman! You do things that aren't possible, and my orders are to shoot anyone who does things like that. We don't want folks like you around."

"And that's where you are wrong," Hilda said. "Without us you'll never get rid of the witch. You people have been trying for days already, and all you have is a curfew, roads torn up and people scared."

William put the bullet in the man's hand. "This is for you. Show that to your superiors, son, and tell them that a bullet does not affect a witch very much. Nor a wizard. And ask them not to bother us while we try to stop the witch that got here."

"Who are you people?", the gunman asked.

"We're the ones who will save your sorry asses," William elaborated. "Now get away and let us do what we came here for."

The sniper got to his feet and ran off as fast as he could. And that was faster than he had imagined.

7. Goo

The magical couple, now free of shooting artists, got on their brooms and took to the sky again, where a surprise was waiting for them.

William heard it first as he had heard the sound before. "Holy Bejeebus."

"What's the matter?", Hilda asked, looking where he was looking. "Suck an elf! What's that?"

A helicopter was coming towards them, big search lights shining down on the desecrated streets.

"That, Hilda, is one of the ways people in this world fly. And they are coming too close for my taste, so let's go down-" that was the moment the search light hit them. "Crap. Too late."

Despite that, they dropped downwards again, the light following them until they were among the buildings. William, still knowing where they were, led Hilda through some of the more narrow streets until the helicopter's search light had certainly lost them.

"That thing is called a helicopter. And I hope it was not the helicopter of a news station." William did not like that idea one bit.

"We can make it go away, though," said Hilda.

"We can. But we won't. We are going to stay away from that thing. If they have cameras on board, they'll film us and then we're screwed. In a major bad way."

The helicopter flew over without seeing them.

"Damn. This makes the search for Zelda much more difficult," William muttered.

Hilda frowned. "But if we just-"

A loud shrieking laugh came from somewhere. The two looked at each other and knew who did that. Then there were some raw screeching sounds, where metal was obviously torn from metal and an engine was forced to do things an engine was not supposed to do. Several loud crash-sounds and a heavy thud later, the laugh sounded again.

"I think someone just did. But not the nice way," Hilda finished. "She's near. Come." Hilda sped away on her broom, William only inches behind her as they darted through the streets. The people from the town would look after the ones in the helicopter. If there was anything of them left to look after.

A few minutes after they had started their chase of Zelda, Hilda stopped the rapid flight. They hovered in front of a large, high building. "I've lost her. Too many big buildings here, I think. At home it's easier. Mad world."

Disappointed, they backtracked to where they had seen the helicopter come down. From a safe distance they looked at the group of people who were ignoring the curfew and trying to get the passengers of the machine to freedom.

"They don't need us," William decided. "I suggest we go back to the room that Bert allowed us, and rest up a bit. And we should see about some food also."

Food was no problem, of course, their magic was more than capable of producing some.

"I miss the crazy kitchen," William said as they lay on the bed, staring into the darkness.

"It's not crazy, sweet man. It just has an attitude. Like a witch does. It's this world that's crazy." Hilda snuggled up to her wizard. "And there's something else I have to tell you."

"Which would be?"

"I love you." She pressed her lips against his cheek.

-=-=-

The next morning came with a loud noise. The couple flew from the bed and looked out of the window. An army tank moved through the street. The machine had problems conquering the debris that was in front of it, but it made progress. Unfortunately, it was going the wrong way, as O'Malley's was down the other side of the street.

"Crappedy crap," Hilda muttered, "that's no way to wake up a witch." She was tempted to use her wand on the noise-maker.

"Let's wait until they're gone before we go out," William suggested.

"No. We have to move now. It must have woken up Zelda too. Provided she was asleep at all." Hilda had a point, so they opened the window and flew out, to the former pub. They climbed high, hoping the people in the tank would not notice them.

Around the bar everything was silent. Very silent. Zelda had put up some kind of dampening spell, Hilda told William.

"That should mean she's in. Let's pay her a visit."

That was easier said than done, though. The spell was obviously intended to keep out more than just sound.

"Not one for visitors, is she?", William muttered as they did not get through the shielding.

Hilda nodded as she looked up. "Ah. Window. Maybe..." She launched herself with the broom. "Crap." The window was sealed also.

William got an idea as he saw Hilda work. He went to the roof of the building and found it was possible to make an opening in there. "Hilda, up here."

"Good wizarding, William," she said.

William went down the hole first, having more experience with measurements of normal houses. Then Hilda followed, trusting William to catch her as she was coming down. Her trust was not in vain. Once in the attic of the building, Hilda took her wand and scanned if the protection that Zelda had put up was near. Things seemed safe though.

Lighting their way with their wands, they found a door that led to a staircase, so down they went. Silence had claimed the building. It was shockingly present everywhere. It seemed to bounce off the walls that they passed and it ran up the stairs to meet them.

Hilda looked at William and put a finger on her lips. They had to be silent. Slowly and with the utmost care they walked down the stairs. Hilda knew that she should not try a silencing spell of her own, as that would clash with the thing Zelda had put up. Walking down screaming and stomping would be smarter.

As they descended further, the effect of the dampening spell became more prominent as moving became harder. Hilda silently cursed the spell, but persisted. Somewhere there had to be an end to this beast. Through the bond she encouraged William to keep coming down.

They had to be close to the exit of the spell, Hilda was certain. After all, Zelda herself had to be able to move freely inside it. Just as she reached the landing on the lower floor, her foot was free of the syrup-like resistance they were pushing themselves through. With care Hilda dragged herself out of the layer that made up the spell and waited for William, notifying him that the ordeal was almost over.

William left the invisible tar pit and saw Hilda again holding her finger over her lips. Of course. Now they were in the open, so sound would travel normally again. He nodded.

They moved to the staircase that would get them to the ground floor, where Zelda probably was. As Hilda put her foot on the first step, an eerie wailing reached their ears.

"She's singing," Hilda whispered, rectifying William's initial idea of the source of the sound.

"That's singing?", he whispered back.

Hilda nodded. "She probably knows we're here by now. I sense her clearly as well." She progressed downwards, the wizard in her wake, and when she reached the bottom of the stairs, she simply kicked open the door.

The interior of the bar had declined even more since their first visit. All the furniture, coloured black now, was piled up in a corner of the large room. In several places large and ferocious-looking plants grew out of the floor. The large brown flower-heads turned towards the magical couple as they came in. They did what probably was the plant-version of drooling. A large bed stood in the middle of the room, black with everything on and around it black. On it lay a person. Dressed in black. The dreadful wailing came from the bed and only stopped as Hilda and William walked over and looked at Zelda.

"Oh. It's you," the woman in black said. She had a deadly pale face, long black hair, and black fingernails. One would almost think she was fond of black.

"Yes. It's me. And William. And you're coming back with us. You have no business here, in this world."

"Hahaha!!" Zelda sat up and laughed at the couple. "But you are so wrong, honey. This place is my business as of now. I like it here, there is so much to play with and so much to get!" Suddenly Zelda had her wand in her hand and flicked it. Hilda and William wanted to jump but the bad witch had taken them by surprise.

One of the large plants swung at them and slammed them to the floor, making them roll away from the bed, back towards the door. Another large plant seemed to fall on top of Zelda, sucking her into the large flowery head. It swung away from the bed and put Zelda on her feet close to the exit that led to the street. "Best for you if you go home, Grimhilda. This was a friendly reminder not to mess with me. Next time it will be unpleasant." A flick of the wand later, the plant that had knocked over Hilda and William dropped a load of sticky and foul-smelling goo over them.

"Oh. Maybe this time it is unpleasant already." Zelda laughed, took her broom and walked out, lifting the silencing spell for a moment.

"Crap." Hilda meant it. "Oh crappedy crap!" Quickly she got her wand out and magicked the goo away from herself and William.

"Holy Bejeebus, Hilda, that was just in time," William gasped as the goo disappeared from his face. It had started to crystallise, immobilising them and also doing a fair bit of suffocating.

"She's bad news, William. Very bad news. We have to handle her with care."

"How on earth do you take on a witch like that? She doesn't seem to know the existence of the word mercy."

"Mercy? What's that?" Hilda looked at him in surprise. Then, at his astounded face, she had to laugh. "Sorry, sweet man, I could not resist. Let's go and get our brooms. Good thing we left them on the roof, not the first place she'll look for them, if she does at all."

Zelda had left a rather simple spell in place to keep curious people out. It was not a problem for the magical couple, and soon they were outside, in the street. They summoned their brooms that came falling down from the roof and calmly landed in the waiting hands.

"Where would she have gone," William wondered. He tried to think of something that could be interesting for a really bad-tempered witch from his new world.

8. Out cold

A sound overhead took precedence over William's thoughts. Hilda also looked up, at what the source of the noise could be. What William already feared was true. And this time indeed, it was the worst kind.

A helicopter of a news station flew over the buildings in the street. It flew dangerously low. It also flew very slowly.

"Is it okay if I borrow your crappedy crap, Hilda?" Because it was in place. From inside the helicopter a large camera protruded, and it was pointing at them.

"We can do something about that," Hilda said. She already raised her wand.

"Perhaps it's better if we don't, sweetwitch. They're definitely filming us and if we use magic, we'll attract even more attention than we already do."

The next moment, a black flash shot out of a sidestreet and came to a halt in front of the helicopter. It was Zelda. And she was curious. She flew around the helicopter a few times, making the cameraman as well as the pilot rather upset.

"William?"

"Yes?"

"If you want, you can borrow it as often as you need to. Oh crap."

Somehow Zelda's attention was pointed to the two people on the ground: she had turned her broom and was coming towards them at an insane speed, wand pointing and spraying sparks.

Hilda as well as William cast protection spells around themselves, jumped on their brooms and flew off in opposite directions. William feared that the people in the news helicopter would have the day of their lives. And hopefully it would not be their last one.

The building they had been in front of suffered severely from the fireworks that Zelda was spraying around from her wand. She screamed in anger as she saw the two fly off, hesitating as she tried to decide which of them she should chase down first.

Hilda and William turned sharply, the air around them seemed to protest against this brutal treatment. Wands drawn, they charged at Zelda, slamming her with magic from both sides. It was not holding the raging witch. Zelda pulled her broom up steeply, swinging her wand wildly. Hilda and William had to retreat as the mad witch was not paying attention to where she was spreading her doom.

"Suck an elf," Hilda growled as William had joined her again. "She's really gone bonkers, William."

"You can say that again, Hilda."

"What would that add to the situation?", she wondered, making William laugh.

"I'll explain later. Now, first we have a witch to catch."

"Hey, you!", a voice interrupted their talk. It came from a man yelling into a megaphone. He was inside the helicopter that was slowly approaching them.

"Not them, not now," William grumbled.

"Can't we just fly off and do what we have to?", Hilda proposed.

"We want to talk to you!", the amplified voice boomed.

"We don't want to talk to you, however," William said, nodded at Hilda, and they flew off. Quickly.

"So now we have two problems," Hilda decided. "Zelda's the main one, and these people in that flying machine are the second."

"Yup. We can ignore the second for now, as they're not able to keep up with us. But they probably filmed a lot of us, and Zelda. And they're not going to present that as special effects."

"Sometimes, William, you still say the weirdest things."

They rose up to above the buildings of the town, hoping to catch a glimpse of the runaway witch, but as they had already expected, Zelda had found refuge somewhere. And she had not left a neon sign pointing in her direction.

"Oh, shiny," Hilda muttered. "We had her, she had us, and now we're back at the start again. And she knows that we're here."

"Indeed. But she has the same problem we have: she doesn't know where we are staying."

Hilda looked around. "This village is very large. We're going to have a very interesting time here. And the village will never be the same again after that, I tell you."

William nodded. "It's not the same anymore since Zelda got here, so we can only add to the damage."

The news-helicopter came after them again. "Hello?", the amplified man said.

"I suddenly feel like adding to the damage," said Hilda as she made her wand appear. Before William could react, she swooped to the helicopter and hovered close to it, apparently unaffected by the turbulence of the big rotor-blades.

"Hey you," she said to the reporter inside the helicopter. The camera-man was struggling to get the best footage of this strange woman on her broom. "You are making things hard on us. We're here to catch a witch and now you are on our tail all the time. We have enough on our hands without you, so you can either go away by yourself, or I will make you go away. And what's that thing?" She pointed at the camera.

"That? Oh, that's nothing," the reporter tried to stall.

"Really. If it's nothing, you can do without it." Hilda swung her wand, said some Latin, hit it right the first time, and the camera fell apart in many tiny bits. "Now you can go. There's nothing."

The reporter and the camera-man stared at the now worthless expensive camera.

"Hey you. I'm waiting. Go before I- Oh, suck an elf. Recidi. Goodbye..."

As the witch flew back to the waiting wizard, the helicopter started to descend to the ground. The pilot fought the controls all he could, but there was no way his flying skills were a match for magic. An additional problem he faced was that the rotors were no match for the buildings that were just too close to the helicopter.

"What did you tell them?", William asked as the helicopter fell the last few feet to streetlevel.

"Oh, just that they should leave before I made them," Hilda shrugged.

"Right. They didn't."

"Indeed. So I did it for them. Now, where can Zelda be?"

They spent a long time looking for the wild witch, but to no avail.

"We'll probably have to wait until she makes a move again," said Hilda. "And that sucks. I hate waiting."

"We can go find some food," William suggested.

"Okay. Let's do that..."

-=-=-

They did not find a new trace of Zelda that day. After food and cruising over the town for a while, they decided to give up for the day and retreated to the room Bert had made available to them. It was still in one piece, so they assumed Zelda did not know where they stayed. Still, before laying down, they spun a light web of magic around the building that housed the bookstore, so they would be alerted if someone magical came near.

"I'm glad you are here with me, William."

He held her tight for a moment. "So am I."

"I'd go crazy here, alone. Like the first time." Hilda felt safe with William.

"To tell you the truth, I feel more at home in your world," said William. "It is uncanny how we are hunted and glared at here."

"Told you," said the witch that was lying in his arm. "And we'll go back as soon as this business is taken care of."

"That we will, for certain and for sure."

The glass of the window broke as a stone flew through it. Hilda stopped the stone and the glass from spreading as they jumped off the bed. William stepped over to the window as fast as he could and, in the darkness, he saw a few figures run away.

"Damn it. Probably kids who saw us fly in. Or out. That's not good. Word spreads fast in the streets, and Zelda's bound to hear it faster than we want."

"So we have to find a new place to stay," Hilda deducted. "That's nice, in the dark."

William already had the brooms in hand. "Don't worry, honourable witch," he said, "we'll find a place."

"William..." Hilda stood close to her wizard and took his collar in her hands. "No more calling me that, okay? That's for ordinaries. You are not an ordinary. You are a wizard, and you are my wizard."

"Okay, sweetwitch." He kissed her.

"Now that you can call me anytime," she grinned.

William magicked up a note for Bert, thanking him for the room and put it on the bed. Then they got on their brooms and left the house.

William and Hilda first went up, so they would not be seen so quickly. Then they set course towards the outskirts of town, where a few highrises were erected. Using magic, they sought out an apartment that was uninhabited, and using some more magic they gained entry and a nicely equipped bedroom.

The night went by without noticeable interruptions. Until...

"William. I'm cold."

"Whu? Oh. Come here... Holy Bejeebus, it -is- cold... what's wrong here?" William popped out his wand and made some light. The room looked as they had last seen it, but the lower part of the window was strangely white. The room was cold. Very cold.

Hilda looked around as well. "William... when we went to sleep, it was not winter, right? So why is there snow against the window?"

The couple got up, magicked warmer clothes onto themselves and walked over to the window. As far as they could see in the darkness, there was snow. The sky was clear, stars were visible. The window pushed its cold towards the witch and the wizard, which made it clear that outside was not a nice place to be for people.

"I don't recall you mentioning that Zelda is a weather-witch," said William.

"She's not. I don't know how she does this, it must cost her a tremendous amount of power to do this."

The two looked at each other and then, as one, they went for their brooms. William opened the door from a distance, using magic. A large amount of snow fell into the apartment.

"Crappedy crap," said Hilda. A swing of her wand later, the snow was gone and the way out was free for them. Making their clothes even warmer, they closed the door, mounted their brooms and flew up into the icy cold night.

William estimated that the layer of snow on the ground was about three feet thick as they flew over the silent town, judging from the occasional car that was still visible in the neighbourhoods that were still untouched by the manic witch.

"I sense where this is coming from, William, follow me," said Hilda once they had reached a decent altitude.

They crossed the town and then flew towards a large building.

"I've got to hand it to her," William grumbled, "she's smart. That's the ice cream factory."

"Ice cream? What's that?", Hilda asked.

9. Crash

The closer they came to the ice-cream factory, the colder it felt. There was also more snow there, and the few buildings that were near the factory were almost fully covered in a layer of ice.

"No cream here, William," Hilda remarked, pointing at one of the buildings.

"Indeed..." William looked out over the vast open area that surrounded the actual factory. The factory was fully lit on the inside, the light streamed out of the windows and gave a great view of the snow around it. "She's made sure that ordinaries won't get to her. Nobody would be able to make it through that stuff. Not even on snowshoes."

The snow out here lay at least five feet high.

"Hilda... Witches are curious, right?"

"Yes. We are. We have to be." Hilda looked at him as if she was explaining the necessity of breathing.

"Good. Then we are not going in there," said William as he pointed at the building a few hundred feet away.

"But Zelda's in there. We have to."

"Yes. And she knows that you think that way. She will certainly have a few surprises set up inside the building, just for us. Remember these wicked plants that she had in the pub, the ones that tried to kill us? Take it from me that she'll have more potent stuff in place now. She saw us with the helicopter so she knows we're hard to destroy."

"She knows we're here, William. She knows that we are here on our brooms."

"And she is inside there somewhere. Nice and warm." William nodded. Between them, through the bond, an idea formed. The magical couple grinned for a moment and then got to work. It did not take them very long to get their offensive charges in place.

"I think we're ready for it, William," Hilda said as she looked around the area. Seventy-two dragons made of snow were hovering around the factory, just outside the circle of light that the building generated.

"Then let's do it."

On a magical command, the large snow-creatures flew forward, all aiming at the brightly lit windows of the factory. A few seconds later over a hundred tonnes of snow crashed into the factory, spreading over the floor from all sides. All light went out. A few loud bangs came from the inside, when some fuses exploded from the overload of sudden snow turned water.

William and Hilda waited for a while, there was no certainty that Zelda had been taken out by this surprise. Then slowly they advanced, their wands casting light ahead. After entering the factory through one of the shattered windows, William was convinced that the owner of the place was not insured for what they found there.

The snow-dragons had wreaked their havoc in a way better than they had dared to hope. Not one machine was still standing. Almost every electrical wire had been ripped away from its hold; at least half of them had snapped under the weight of the snow.

"Zelda!" Hilda shouted the name. It came echoing back to her, slightly muffled by the snow. The witch they were looking for did not answer.

"Do you think she's under the snow somewhere?", William asked. "We did send in quite an avalanche."

Slowly they flew around the entire factory, an immense building. Hilda sent up bolts of light so they had a clear view of where they were going. After a slow and scrutinising round, they had not found a trace of Zelda.

"Suck an elf," Hilda muttered, "this can't be. She is here. I feel it in my blood."

"Oh yes, I am here, Grimhilda." The voice seemed to come from all sides, in a most confusing manner.

Then the factory imploded.

-=-=-

They were both covered with factory. At least nine feet of rubble, ice and snow piled on top of them. Or rather, it rested on the layer of energy that William had thrown around them as they were on the way to the floor, as the huge building had come down on them.

Hilda felt the hand around her wrist. It was William's hand and he tugged at her arm. Sort of. "Are you okay?", she heard him ask.

"Not sure if this situation could be called okay. I'm alive, it seems."

"Right. You're okay," William decided. "Do you still feel Zelda around?"

Hilda checked her feelers. "No. She's gone. Now you will tell me why you had to be the protective force for both of us? I can take care of myself, wizard. Thank you very much."

That was the ultimate proof for William that she was fine. "I put in as much of my magic as I could. No magical can sense me. I hoped that if I threw the protection, she would not be able to sense you either."

"Oh."

"And since she's gone,-"

"That means I can't sense her through that dumb shielding of yours?"

"Quiet, witch, and let me finish. Since she's gone-"

"Who are you, thinking you can order me around, wizard?"

"I'm the one who's kept you alive here, remember? And do you really think this is the time and place to pick a fight?"

"I pick a fight when I want to, wizard, and I don't care if there's a building lying on top of me!"

"Right. Scream some more. Zelda'll know you're still alive then."

"Oh." Hilda grumbled to herself. "William?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry. Thank you."

"No problem. Let's get us out of here."

Their combined magic lifted the enormous pile of debris up. Once there was enough space for them to crawl out of, they held the remains of the factory in place and climbed out of their precarious position. After getting themselves into safety, they carefully lowered the mass of concrete and frozen water again. That way it would look as if nothing had happened. Just to be on the safe side, if Zelda would come back to check on what she had done.

"Where are our brooms?", Hilda asked. She knew already, and the link to William prevented an answer from him. "That stinks. They were good brooms." She pulled her cloak around her. "I hate snow."

William looked around, also making sure the cold was not getting to him. There was hardly any wood around to make a proper broom out of. He frowned and popped out his wand. "What do you think of this?"

Hilda stared at him. "That is an iron broom, William. Iron. Not wood."

He made it float.

Hilda drew her wand and produced another metal broom. There was plenty of metal around, from all the machinery that now no longer could be called such. "Hmmm. Clunky. But it seems to work."

They mounted their new rides and slowly lifted off. The brooms were heavy and did not respond as nicely as the wooden variety, but these things would be able to get them away from the factory remains.

"Okay, William, I have to hand it to you," said Hilda. "You thought of it a little sooner than I did. But I am more affected by the cold. That's why."

William snorted.

As they flew away from the factory grounds, they saw that most of the snow in the town was already melting, creating massive flows of water.

"That might create a big problem," Hilda said as she looked at the water under them. But we shouldn't take care of it."

William understood that immediately. Fixing the problem was like putting up a neon sign telling Zelda they were still alive. "Let's get back to the apartment first, sleep some of this off, and see if we can improve on our brooms. You're right, these things fly like bricks."

They made a bit of a detour getting to the apartment they had confiscated. The sun was on the rise, so they were more and more visible. The magical couple just took the chance of being spotted while flying to the front door of the apartment, which was on an outside gallery. Nobody seemed to notice them. They took the metal brooms inside; no need to make anyone wonder about these contraptions, if someone were to come across them when passing 'their' apartment.

Hilda and William crashed onto the bed.

"We're facing something here," William stated the obvious.

"Really. Wake me up if you have brilliant ideas." Hilda kissed his cheek and closed her eyes. "Or better still: remember the brilliant ideas until I wake up." She took one of William's hands and pulled his arm around her. "Nice," she mumbled. A few seconds later she was asleep.

William tried to think up brilliant ideas. He managed that for about twenty seconds.

-=-=-

Hilda saw the ceiling when she opened her eyes again. She heard the soft and peaceful breathing of the wizard next to her. "No brilliant ideas, I guess," she silently whispered to herself, and a faint smile played in the corners of her mouth.

She tried to come up with something herself, and failed as well, even though she used more than twenty seconds. It was hard, she knew, smoking out a witch whose whereabouts were unknown. Next best thing would be to lure her. Slowly she nodded. Lure was good. But... how? What would be something that a witch could not resist? She'd have to think about that herself, and talk it over with William. William would probably not be able to come up with something. He was from here, and not a witch since the beginning.

"What are you thinking, sweetwitch?", a deep voice whispered in her ear. William had woken up also, and picked up the jumble of thoughts that she was harbouring.

"Good morning. Or afternoon." She turned to face him. "I was thinking how much I love you."

"You lie, but it's a sweet lie, so you get away with it," William grinned as he opened his eyes and saw blue sparkles in her black ones.

"I know." She kissed his cheek. "I was trying to figure out how to get Zelda, since your brilliant ideas are on a holiday, it seems."

"All I can think of now is something to eat," William declared.

Hilda could understand that. "I doubt there is something proper in this house though."

The two of them got up and walked into the living room. Most of the ice and snow had gone. They saw that through the large window. Most of the table that was in the room was useful for two proper brooms. They saw that after Hilda had transformed the piece of furniture.

"Not really hig quality wood, but handfuls better than the iron," Hilda commented as she floated around on the broom. "It's in the bristles, always."

They left the apartment through the bedroom window and flew to the outskirts of the town where Zelda's disaster had not struck very much. To their good fortune, they found a restaurant that was still open, thanks to the daredevil attitude of the proprietor and some of his more adventurous staff.

In a quiet sidestreet, the magical couple magicked their clothes into something more this-world looking, Hilda shrunk the brooms that ended up in William's pocket, and William used his wand to generate some money. Prepared like that, they entered the restaurant where they devoured an amount of food that made the waiter frown.

William tried to strike up a conversation with the waiter, about the things that were happening in the town, but for some reason the man was set on keeping his mouth shut regarding the subject, so filled up nicely and knowing nothing more than when they arrived, the couple left the food-place again.

10. Find a witch

After changing back into being witch and wizard again, they flew high into the air, surveying the city and hoping for possible clues on where Zelda was hiding. Or busy.

"William," Hilda asked suddenly, "where does the king of this place live?"

"The king?" William was quite flabbergasted. "There's no king here, remember? There's a president."

"Oh. Right. With the amount of people around him that prevent the word of the ordinaries to get to him. I remember that. But isn't there someone who is in charge here?"

"That would be the mayor, I guess."

"And where does that person live?"

"In normal conditions, that would be town hall. Although these are not norma-"

"Take us to the town hall then. Zelda is here to wield power, and there is no better place for that than from the seat of power that is here." Hilda looked very smug, after her deduction.

As it was at good a guess as any, William took the lead and they flew over the city towards town hall. Under them, a regiment of soldiers was working hard to remove the debris that once had been the streets. The magical couple also kept an eye out for helicopters and other flying objects that were more of a hassle for them than something else.

They were in luck: no one from the ground or in the air was watching them, so they had clear sailing until they reached town hall.

-=-=-

Usually there was a lot of business going on around and inside town hall. People with papers, requests and complaints would be going in and out, pestering the civil servants who were present to take the flack from the citizens. How different an image it was when the magical couple arrived.

The street was empty, if one ignored the overturned cars. No people were anywhere in sight. The flag that normally would be out was missing. As was the cheerful red colour of the building. It was all black now.

"Looks like you were right, Hilda," said William. "Things are not the way they ought to be."

"Never doubt the resident witch," she informed him, looking over the area from the roof where they had landed.

"You're not the resident witch and you don't want to be," William remarked. It earnt him a snort.

"There's magic inside the building. There's a Zelda. Can't be otherwise." Hilda whipped up her wand. "Now, how are we going to approach her?"

"Why are you looking at me?", William asked.

"Hey, this was your world. You should know better than I do."

"When it was my world, I did not have to approach witches."

"Oh yes, you did. I was here, remember?"

"You were not taking over the town, Hilda."

"Minor details, William, all minor details. You know the ingredients, so you whip up a recipe for this."

William glared at the witch. She was incorrigable. "Right. I'll just walk up to the place then-"

"Are you insane? She'll see you." Hilda stared at her wizard who had made such a dumb remark.

"I am not insane. Just checking if you were paying attention." William looked at the building that was town hall. The front door was closed, as were all the windows. There still was snow here and there, and many puddles of water lay everywhere.

"And what do you mean by -I- walk up there? You can't take her on alone, William."

"That is right. But she can sense you come in. She can't sense me."

"Hmmf." He had a point there. One she did not like. "But you are not walking up there."

"Of course not. I'm planning to fly up and go to the roof. There are probably openings or such to get into the building. And then I can first have a look what the situation in there is."

"Right. And if she catches you?" Hilda did not like the plan.

"You'll know. But I'll be careful. I have the advantage of being formerly local and magical."

"I still don't like it, William, but I don't have a better idea. Please be careful, sweet wizard of mine." She hugged him. "You know you need me."

William was taken aback by her choice of words for a moment, then grinned. "I'll be careful. Promise."

He got on his broom, flew down the side of the building and worked his way around town hall through streets and alleyways he remembered. Then he reached his target and flew up along the blind sidewall. Once upon the roof, he put his broom down and walked around, looking for an opening. Fortune was with him as he located a hatch, probably for maintenance. It willingly opened for his wand. Quickly he went inside, after looking for Hilda who was almost falling off the other building, so far did she lean forward to see what he was doing.

Inside the building hung a rather unpleasant smell. William did not recognise it. He used some magic to make his nose less sensitive to it, because otherwise he would have started to vomit, he was sure of that. The attic of the building was deserted. That was to be expected, so he located the stairwell of the building and carefully went down one flight of stairs.

William had never been inside the town hall before, so he had to take gambles and guesses as he opened the door to the corridor that led to the offices. He did peek through the window and saw nobody. In this case it meant little to nothing. As he opened the door, the obnoxious smell became more prominent. He also saw strange pink blotches on the floor. His wand told him that these things were not made to be stepped upon. Even without the reason behind that, he trusted his wand. He went back to the roof to collect his broom.

Hilda was surprised to see her wizard come back up and pick up the broom. She sensed all kinds of things through the bond, but he was too focused to inform her, and she did not want to break his concentration. There was too much at stake in that building, so she had to wait. It was hard on her.

William had returned to the door behind which lay the pink-blotched corridor. He lifted off and floated through the corridor, keeping all his senses tuned to anything that might be out of the ordinary. He now also relayed as much as he could to Hilda, as she might be able to pick something up that he missed.

William found two offices with people lying over their desks. They had been throwing up. He did not feel up to check if they were sleeping or otherwise immobile. He just registered them there and went on. There were only two offices with five people in total. As there was nothing to do here, he headed back to the stairs and went down a floor. There his wand did its interpretation of lights flashing and all alarms going off. Obviously there was something on this floor that needed special attention, he was certain of that before he reached the door with the window.

As he looked through said window, he knew he had struck gold. Black gold in this case... the entire corridor was black. There were fire-pits in the carpet; several people lay in the corridor. They did not move, and William feared the worst. Slowly he opened the door.

There was silence. Not even an echo of anything.

Hilda, on the roof of the other building, froze. "She's there, William. She's there. Whatever you do, be careful and ready to run. She's there, William."

William caught what Hilda was saying and feeling. He would be careful. Despite the strange situation, a thought came up to him. How would Harry Potter handle this? There was no invisibility cloak around, so that idea was out the window. William needed to see what was going on without being seen. Then a wicked smile formed on his face. Of course. That was the perfect idea.

Hilda, on the roof, sensed what was going on inside William. His idea took shape. "Oh, no. You're not going to- Suck an elf, he's going to!" She stared at the building opposite the road. "I'm rubbing off on him." She did not sound as if that were a good thing.

William had his wand in hand. "Right. Let's see if we can do a Very Headless Nick..."

Slowly a ghostly figure took shape in front of him. It carried its head under an arm. It wasn't much of a ghost as William was not trained in them, but he managed to see through the eyes in the head. It did make him dizzy, until he noticed that closing his own eyes helped.

From behind the closed door, William floated his ghost into the hall. It went sideways, so he had a good view of the rooms that had once been offices.

Hilda was not sure what William was doing or seeing, he was too focused on his actions. It unnerved her, and more than a dozen times she was ready to jump on her broom and head over to see what the hell was going on. But that would put William in jeopardy.

In the corridor, most offices were empty. The one that was occupied had been three rooms. It was a large space now, with the wall to the corridor removed. In the middle was a large black throne adorned with silver symbols. There were four of the large menacing plants next to it, two on each side. Zelda sat on the throne. She was reading a book and seemed entirely absorbed by it. He noticed she was wearing some kind of silver headband. It was an eerie sight for William, to see their enemy feeling so at home in there. She had made things comfortable for herself, obviously.

Zelda did not even seem to notice the ghost that floated through the corridor. William dared to make his Very Headless Nick go slower, so he could see as much as he could. It did not tell him a lot more, though, so when Nick showed another empty office, he dissolved the ghost.

William felt feeble in his legs, and noticed his hands were shaking. The trick with Nick had taken quite some energy out of him. That made him decide he had seen enough for this time and quietly headed up the stairs, to the roof, and from there he made his detouring way back to Hilda.

After telling her what he had done and seen, she stared at him in disbelief. "You did what? You conjured a ghost and spied on her?"

William nodded as he sat down. "It's hard work, you know."

"And she didn't even look at it?"

"No. She just kept reading that book she had. Sorry I could not see what it was about."

"Don't worry about that, William," said Hilda as she kneeled down with him. "You are scary, my wizard. Not many magicals can conjure up ghosts like that." She stroked his cheek.

William looked at her and shrugged. "Perhaps. I don't know. But we do know now where she's put up camp."

11. The Winklers

Hilda and William had retreated to their apartment. On the way they had visited a supermarket where they had done some proletarian shopping, lacking people to accept their money.

The fire floated in the air, two tins with food hovering over the flames. William kept an eye on them as Hilda examined the plates, forks and knives they had 'found' somewhere.

"Do you think Zelda will have wards up at night, when she's asleep?", William asked as he poked the tin cans with his wand.

"I guess," said Hilda. "She does have these weird plants too, so it would not surprise me."

"Yeah. These plants. They worry me. I've never seen them before. They seem to be smart too."

Hilda laughed. "They're not smart. They just react to people. The one that's Zelda, and others, probably. All basic stuff that you never learnt. No, you just go about floating ghosts, not knowing what you're doing."

William glanced at his witch. She did not seem to mean it in a bad way, the link did not convey any hostile feelings about his Headless Nick trick, but he had learnt that that was not always conclusive with Hilda.

The wicked witch looked at the wizard, walked over and sat next to him. "No hard feelings, William, really, okay? You know I love you. You do. I do. But it is still so unnerving for me to hear what you do just like that, while you can blunder along with the simple things, and you are so ignorant about so many more things too. It sometimes is difficult for me."

William put away his wand and took Hilda's hands. "I am sure that I can make you feel insecure. And I am sorry about that. We both know that things just happened."

Hilda nodded. "They did. And bottom line is that I am happy they did." She smiled at him. "So how's our food coming along? I still think that we should have magicked it done, not go the cumbersome way you seem to like so much."

William grinned, popped up his wand again and tapped the cans. "It should be done now."

Quickly the contents of the cans were deposited onto the plates and the floating fire was removed.

"And this is food?" Hilda poked at it with a fork.

"It is sold as such anyway." William had been gone from his old world for a while and also eyed the matter on the plate with trepidation. "Maybe this was a mistake."

Wands were drawn, spells were spoken. "Now that's food."

As they were eating, there was a knock on the door.

"Suck an elf," Hilda muttered, "no one knows we're here, right?"

"Apparently that's wrong," William said. He got up and went over to the door to peek through the spy-glass. "Ordinaries," he whispered to Hilda.

Quickly they changed their attire to something more of this world and then William opened the door. "Hello?"

Wearing thick coats, as the cold and the snow were still not entirely gone, were a woman in her forties and a teenage child. "Hello. Sorry for interrupting, but we heard sounds from here. We didn't know someone had moved in and we thought it would be nice to come and welcome you. We're the Winklers, from next door."

The woman and the child, a boy, came in and closed the door behind them.

William was a bit lost, Hilda was completely lost.

"Oh, uhm, hello. We are William and Hilda Connoley." William improvised, hoping that Hilda would catch on. This was all new for her. "We've just arrived here."

Mrs. Winkler looked around in the rather empty room. "Yes. I see." Then she marched towards Hilda, grabbed the hand of the witch. "Hello, Mrs. Connoley, Margaret Winkler, and this is sweet little Jeff. So pleased to meet you."

William almost died as he saw the scene and tried to inform Hilda through their link she should not do anything magical to the woman.

"Hello, Mrs. Winkler," Hilda calmly said.

"Are you going to move in properly soon?", Mrs. Winkler asked.

"We are not sure if we are staying here for long," said William. "We are here on a sort of test run of the apartment, so to speak."

"Yes. A test run," Hilda confirmed, retreating to the table and the food.

"Oh, I am so sorry for barging in and interrupting your dinner," said the woman. She did not make any move to leave though. "Do sit and eat, I am not bothered by that."

William had the strong impression that the woman wasn't bothered with anything, the way she tried to take control of the situation.

"When did you move in?", Mrs. Winkler asked. "I have not seen you arrive, and usually I see everything. Do you know what the reason was for all that snow and cold all of a sudden? Isn't that strange? And the rate at which it is thawing now, it is incredible. Oh, you have a very nice view here, only too bad about that big tree. Maybe you can get in touch with town hall and ask them to take it down."

The woman rattled on and on, while William sat down and ate his last food.

Suddenly Hilda shot up from her chair and held out a hand. "Kid! Don't!"

Sweet little Jeff was holding one of their brooms in his hands.

William turned, praying that Hilda would not use magic. "Put that broom down, son. It's not yours."

"Oh, isn't he sweet?", Mrs. Winkler cheered, "he wants to help you clean the house. Good boy, Jeff, but maybe not now?" She looked at Hilda, whose face predicted an unhappy ending for Jeff if the kid would not put down the broom quickly.

"Put the broom back. Now." Hilda spoke slowly.

The boy put the broom back. Then he looked at Hilda. "Ugly witch."

"I am not ugly," Hilda said, her eyes sparkling red, an undertone of threat in her voice.

"MUM!", sweet little Jeff shouted and ran to his mother. "Her eyes are red! She's a vampire!"

"Jeff, she can't be. Vampires live in the night, remember?"

"Perhaps it is best that you leave now," said William, who had gotten up again.

"Maybe, yes," Mrs. Winkler agreed as she dragged Jeff to the door.

"Mum, that broom flies! Mum!"

Jeff got a slap over the head.

"Stop being a nuissance, Jeff. You and your big mouth. I'm so sorry, folks, usually he doesn't do things like that." Mrs. Winkler rapidly ushered her son out the door and so the visitors left.

William leaned against the door after locking it. "Sheesh. Just what we need. A snooping neighbour. And that kid."

Hilda nodded and leaned against William. "Does this mean we have to find another place to stay? It's a good place here."

"We can stay here for a while longer and see what happens. If they get too nosey, we'll have to move. That's a worry for later. Let's first see how we can handle-"

There was knocking on the door. William looked through the spy-glass and saw nobody. "Now what..." He opened the door and found sweet little Jeff Winkler looking up at him.

"Your wife is a witch," he declared.

"I know. And I am a wizard."

Hilda stood next to William, wondering why he was talking so openly to the child. "William?"

"It's okay, Hilda," he assured her.

Sweet little Jeff stared at them. "Do you turn people into frogs?"

"Sometimes. When they need it."

"Can you turn me into a frog?"

Hilda looked at the kid. "Yes. That's easy. You're small." She held out her hand and made the wand appear.

Sweet little Jeff stared at the hand and the wand. "Cool!"

"Do you want to be a frog?", Hilda asked the boy.

"Only if you turn me back into me again," he said. Jeff had seen things on television about wishes and how these got people into problems.

"Better come in then," said William, "it would look bad if someone sees us do that. We're here to catch the witch that makes the town crazy."

Jeff nodded and came in. "There is another witch? The police say there are terrorists and gas and stuff."

"That's all bogus," said William, "they don't know what they are up against so they invent something that people know, so there is no panic."

"Stand there," said Hilda as she pointed to a place in the room. "You're going to be a frog for a while."

"Cool." Jeff stood where Hilda directed him.

Then she pointed at him. "Ranunculus."

Jeff's clothes fell to the ground, and a smal toad crawled from under it. It made a sad little sound and it looked entirely lost and confused, as far as a toad can express such emotions.

Hilda and William watched it crawl around for a while, then she turned him back into a boy. A boy who was scrambling his clothes together and getting into them in a hurry.

"Did you like being a frog?"

"No way, that's way cramped in there! And everything is too big too then!" Jeff shook his head to emphasise his feelings. "I don't want to be a frog anymore."

"Right. Now, Jeff, remember that feeling. Not a word to anyone about us, okay? We have a difficult thing to do here, and we don't need the police or the press here to see us. Just remember what it is to be a frog. I am sure you are clever enough to figure out what I mean." William popped up a glass of orange juice and handed that to the boy.

"Oh, don't worry, sir, I'm not going to tell. They'd think I'm crazy. And thanks for this." Jeff drained the glass in one go.

Hilda as well as William noticed the 'sir'. Clearly the experience had impressed the boy deeply.

"Would you like some more?" Hilda knew that most ordinaries' bodies reacted awkwardly to being transformed. Jeff nodded, so she filled up his glass again with a snip of her fingers.

"Whoa, that's so cool," the boy said, looking at the glass.

From outside, they heard his mother yell out the boy's name.

"Oh. That's my call," Jeff said as he handed the glass to William. "I'd better go. Can I come visit you again?"

"You can try. We may not be here," said William as he walked the boy to the door.

"That's a chance I can take," said Jeff. "Thank you. Sir. Mrs. Witch." He hopped out and quickly went to his mother.

The magical couple stared each other in the eye.

"Suck an elf."

12. Have a drink

After their initial amazement had worn off, they sat on the chairs again. William conjured up two cups of coffee and then they tried to decide on their next step. After all, having a neighbouring kid who wanted to be friendly was nice, but that did not deliver Zelda.

They understood that so far they still had an advantage, as Zelda did not know they were alive. It would work for a surprise attack, but the attack would have to be good.

"We'll have to be there when she leaves the building," Hilda thought out loud. "Be there in a way that she won't suspect, so we can hit her hard."

"That sounds like a good plan. Now, how can we hit her hard? I have no experience with catching witches, except you."

"You did not catch me, I caught you." The wicked witch looked at him, challenging him with her eyes.

William did not bite. "Whatever you want, sweetwitch. And on the subject of Zelda?"

"Hmm. There are a few ways. Take away her wand. Make sure she can't move and speak. Make her doubt her environment."

"Oh, goody." William frowned. "Sounds very simple, doesn't it? Isn't there just a way to get her drunk or so? Magic doesn't work when we're drunk..."

"True. I forgot that one. Oh, maybe we can flood the building with alcohol and disable her that way," Hilda said.

"Hmmm. That is so silly it might actually work," William pondered.

"Hey, you. Watch it, okay?"

William watched her for a moment. Then he smiled. "You're sweet."

"Puh."

"I do guess we'd need to seal off the exits to the building to make sure she's hit with the alcohol," William thought out loud, "and it would be important to get the alcohol in that building in all places at the same time, so she can't run."

Hilda tugged William's sleeve. "You're taking that idea seriously?"

"Of course. It's an idea, and for now the only one. Usually the more improbable it appears to be, the better it works."

"Yes. Sure. I know that. I'm good, and a witch, after all." Smugly Hilda sat back. "And what more would my plan need?"

"A lot of alcohol, for starters. I doubt that you and I combined can magick up so much alcohol that we can fill the town hall building."

Hilda nodded. "That's true. Big building. Too big. Maybe we could shrink it." She frowned at her idea. "Although it's awfully big. Never tried that before."

"And there's someone inside it who can't be shrunk," William added.

Hilda nodded. "That's a problem also. So, do you have a wine place near here?"

William frowned. "Don't you have a simple question?"

"Sure I do, but I already know you love me."

William's face lit up. "I think I know something better than a winery."

"Oh?"

"A library."

"Sometimes, sweet wizard, you say the strangest things."

-=-=-

The wizard walked along the lines of books, the witch in his wake. "Ah. Here we are. Organic chemistry."

"We need alcohol, William, lots of it. Not that book."

Far away an alarm went off. The floor shuddered for a moment, and the lights overhead flickered.

"And may I remind you that we need that stuff fast."

William nodded as he quickly paged through the book. "Damn, too much booze in here," he muttered as the chemical information ran past him. "Ah. Here it is." He sat down with the book, reading the page.

Hilda looked at the page. "What's all that? Those are very strange magical symbols."

"This is how alcohol is made," William said, without looking up at her.

"Oh, sure." Hilda frowned. "I don't recall seeing you drink, William, and yet you sound as if you've had enough."

William looked one more time at the page. Then he closed the book and put it away again. "I know enough. Now all we need is a tremendous amount of water. But before we do that..." He took Hilda's hand and tried to show her, through the link, what he intended to do, transforming water into alcohol by applying the chemical formula and some magic.

Hilda looked surprised. "Suck an elf, William, that is powerful magic if it really works!" She did not understand the theory behind it, but she knew she could do this. "There still is a lot of snow around outside, William. That is easy to transport and turn back to water..."

William now grinned. "That is an excellent idea."

They left the library and started to collect as much snow as they could, storing it behind the large building where Hilda had been waiting earlier, so Zelda would not see it. They needed some magic to keep the snow where it was and to prevent it from thawing also.

Hilda took a chance one time and quickly flew by town hall, to make sure Zelda was still there.

"She in there. If we're going to do it, we have to do it now," said Hilda. "It is quite strenuous to keep all that stuff cold."

William agreed. They enveloped the mountain of snow with magic and raised it off the ground. "Let's do it."

The action that followed went amazingly fast. The snowball flew up and once in the air it split in two parts. Magic held the two pieces up and as one piece shot towards the front of the building where Zelda was, the other part flew to the back of it. Hilda guided one bulk of snow, William the other, and just before impact on the floor where William had located Zelda's throne, they changed the water to alcohol and like that the two giant loads of liquid smashed into the building, taking all windows out. The two amounts of pure liquor, which were probably the wet dream of many an alcoholic, met in the middle of the rooms they were thrown into.

William and Hilda then sealed off the building, keeping the alcohol inside. Some of the stuff leaking to the lower floors was something they had counted on.

After about three minutes the magical couple released their magic and let the alcohol flush away. If Zelda managed to survive three minutes of that, then there was no point in holding it there longer.

The stream of liquid washed down the stairs and flooded the elevator shafts that had never before been cleaned so thoroughly. The smell of alcohol slowly rose up from the street that was the final destination of the flow, which damaged just about everything inside the building.

The witch and the wizard hung on their brooms, high up and well out of reach of the fumes that were slowly coming upwards, despite the frost that still was in the ground.

"How long do you think we'll have to wait before it's safe to go in?", Hilda asked. "I've never attacked someone with so much of that, so it's a gamble for me as well."

Knowing how badly she held her liquor, with even diluted wine, William said she should stay outside and he would fly by to have a look.

"Be careful, William, you don't sense where she is," Hilda warned him as he flew off.

William slowly approached the building.

Below, people were streaming into the street, as they had noticed the strange happening in town hall. Nobody wanted to miss what was now going on there.

The wizard lowered his broom to the floor where he had found Zelda. Their flood had cleaned out the offices. The furniture, desks and chairs, lay on the ground. The bodies of the people he had seen in the offices lay among them, arms and legs pointing in strange directions.

Zelda's throne had not fallen down yet, it hung outside the building, caught in a web of electrical wires.

The smell of the alcohol wasn't bad, William noticed. He popped up his wand, cast a spell, and most of the alcohol was gone. Slowly he flew into the building, through what once had been a wall of glass.

Hilda had caught what he'd done to the alcohol-wash and deemed it safe to go after William, so not much later they both were in the desolate building.

"She's not here, William," Hilda said. "Either she's dead or she's gone."

They shared an unruly feeling that Zelda was not dead.

"Crappedy crap, William, she got away. I'm sure. Somehow she must have picked up on something."

"Or she was gone earlier..." William hovered his broom next to the destroyed throne. There was a silver band hanging from it that was wrung and out of shape. He picked it from the hook it somehow had remained on and handed it to Hilda. "I've seen her wear this."

Hilda examined the disfigured headband. "Looks like you are right. She would not leave this behind. She was going to come back."

"What is that thing?", William asked.

"I'll tell you later. When we're back in the apartment."

William looked around. "The town council won't love us for this," he said as he took in the devastation they had created with the liquid shockwave.

"We can help clean the mess up later, William," said Hilda. "First we need to get Zelda-"

"Hello you two up there!" A loud voice, electronically amplified, boomed up to them. A group of four policemen had taken position in front of the building.

Hilda turned. "What?"

"You are under arrest!"

"Oh, okay!" Hilda, not at all impressed, turned back to William. "As I said, first we need to get Zelda, and that might make that we break some more-"

"This is the police! We order you to come down so we can arrest you!"

Hilda rolled her eyes and sighed. "If you want us, then at least come up and get us. Do something for your silver," she yelled back at the policeman. Her response triggered a subdued wave of laughter going through the crowd that had gathered.

The strong arm of the law stood and conferred, debating if it was wise to actually enter an unsafe building and try to capture two people who were flying on brooms.

"You are the insubordinates here," the policeman tried as they failed to reach a decision, "therefore you are required to surrender!"

"Okay. That's it." Hilda swung her broom round and dropped to the policemen's level. William was right behind her.

"Now listen," she said to the megaphoned man. "We may be the insubordinates here, whatever animal that is, but we are also the ones with the brooms and the wands. It will take you a good deal more than words to get us. And then something: you are not really doing what you can to catch the witch that's around. At least we do something. Now leave us be and do something sensible."

As she was ending her tirade, one of the policemen quickly slapped handcuffs on the witch. "You, lady, are under arrest. Get off that... broom."

Hilda looked at the metal rings around her wrists. She wiggled her nose and the handcuffs sprung open. "How neat. Toys. Thank you."

On her signal through the link, William and she climbed into the air quickly and shot away towards another part of town. A place where their apartment was not.

In the crowd, a slender woman with a pale face and black hair, all dressed in black, slowly unfolded her fists. Her nails had dug into her palms; blood slowly trickled from the wounds. "I'll get you, you bitch witch," Zelda muttered.

13. Shedding

"She was around, William."

They were taking a large detour back to the apartment. Hilda had sensed Zelda.

"And we did not do a thing to get her?", William asked.

"Indeed. Too many people around. Someone as crazy as Zelda can inflict any kind of harm on them. I don't want that to happen. But she was there and not in the building."

The wizard understood the implication. "She's seen us and knows we're still alive."

"Yes. So we lost our advantage. And I still wonder how she knew we were planning something," Hilda said as they started back towards their temporary home.

"Maybe she was planning something as well, and was out for that reason." William shrugged. "Hard to tell without asking her."

"Seriously... She does like to live big here, though. Perhaps the next place she takes over is a big building also. Any idea what's bigger than the town hall building?"

"Plenty of choices, I'd say. The library, the cinema, the theatre."

"Crappedy crap, William, looks like we might need to relocate also..." Hilda stared down at the street they were flying over, where many people were looking up at them. Somehow the news of the witch and wizard living nearby had spread.

"Do you think Jeff, the neighbour's kid, did not keep his mouth shut?"

Hilda shook her long grey mane. "Doubt that, sweet man. He was scared enough after being a frog for a few seconds. I'm sure he's not our worry."

"Then someone must have spotted us flying off," William concluded.

It seemed the only viable alternative. The closer they came to their part-time home, the thicker the crowd in the streets became. Voices from below came up to greet them as they were lowering their brooms a bit.

"Crappedy crap."

The gallery that ran in front of the apartments on the floor where they had taken up residence was littered with people, all looking out for them, pointing, waving, shouting.

Hilda and William stopped in mid-air. "What do you think they want?"

"We should ask, I think." William flew his broom closer to the building. "Hey, what're you looking for?"

"We want to see you!", someone yelled. "And we have some things for you to do with your magic!"

"And we want a broom like that!", another voice called out.

The noise from the voices became louder and louder, from the building as well as from the street below.

William steered his broom back to Hilda and together they rose up high, to get away from the cries. "Looks like we have lost our advantage there also. Is there anything in that apartment we'd need?"

Hilda shook her head. "No, nothing magical there. We just need a new place to stay, clearly. And that might get tricky. We're known now."

"Indeed... we should be able to find a way to become unknown though," William said. He started to smile.

"And you know the way, right?"

"Follow me." William led Hilda to the outskirts of town, where he knew a few stores. At least, they had been there before he had left this world to end up in Hilda's. For once the torn up streets were in their favour: there were no people able to follow them quickly, as cars were either destroyed or unable to drive along.

The area was close to deserted. It had always been a miracle for William how enterprises in that part of town managed to stay in business. Things had changed somewhat, but it was still very recognisable for the wizard.

The place had been a military base of some sort, and after it had been abandoned, the government had agreed that it could be transformed into a business area, for offices, trucking companies and some wholesalers. Most of the fence around the premises had been taken down, but for originality's sake, most buildings had been left the way they were.

"So, what's here?" Hilda looked over the camp gone commercial as they hovered over the roof of the highest building.

"Clothes," said William, "and if all things are the way I remember them, a hiding place also. And yes, that sounds wrong."

"Why is that wrong?"

"We're here to capture Zelda. And in trying that, we need to hide from the people we're trying to save."

"As I said, that sounds wrong," Hilda agreed. She popped up her wand as William looked round. "Over there, William." She pointed.

"Over there what?"

"Hiding place. Even when it sounds wrong."

Hilda was pointing towards a small shed that seemed wedged between a giant warehouse on the left and what looked like a garage for trucks on the right. There was no apparent opening, like a door. They saw no windows either. Just a wall of dark brown brick with a roof of something dark grey.

From the building on the right, a mighty roar emerged. It was followed by thick, black smoke billowing out of the opening.

"Suck an elf," Hilda muttered. The sound had surprised her. "What monster lives in there? Perhaps the shed isn't such a good idea after all."

The roar stopped.

"It's a machine, Hilda. Probably a truck. A big truck."

"Can we go see the big truck?" A childlike happy expression jumped up to her face and hung on.

"Sure. Let's find a way to get there withoug being seen."

Hilda had already figured out the way to go, using her wand, so they soon arrived on the roof of the building that was for certain a workshop for trucks. There were several hatches on the roof, some of them opened for fresh air and an improvised vent for the smoke. Hilda knelt down on the roof and peered into the huge building.

William sat next to her and saw four men working on a big White Freightliner truck.

"Doesn't look like your truck, William." Hilda shook her head. "Yours was a lot smaller."

"Trucks come in many sizes. Small ones like mine, and big ones like that."

"Oh! Are there even bigger ones?" Hilda's face betrayed that she suddenly was fascinated by this colossus of the road.

"I'm sure there are, but not here," said William.

They agreed to have a closer look at the shed, since they were there anyway. They found, looking down from the roof, that the shed was bigger than they had thought. Although it was no more than fifteen feet wide, it was at least fifty feet deep as it ran halfway along the two big buildings. On broomsticks, the magical couple dropped to the ground, into the alleyway that made up the rest of the space that the two buildings left between them.

"Oh, look!" Hilda pointed at the roof of the long shed. It stuck out several feet from the back wall, so there was some kind of covered open area. And in the back wall of the shed was an opening. Evidently there also had been a door once; the twisted hinges were the silent, rusty evidence of that.

"This is a nice place, William," the witch conveyed her feelings. "Could do with a bit of paint, but still." She quickly repressed that thought. Suppose this shed would put up as much of a fight about the colours as her own house always did. She was not going there.

The majestic roar of the truck's engine prevented William from responding, so he just pointed at the opening and went inside the shed, stepping over all kinds of metal and wooden bits that someone had left there. Hilda was on his heels.

Wands came out, lights came on. Brooms were mounted, and the magical two slowly floated through the shed after magic had cleaned their shoes. The floor of the shed was covered with some sticky stinky gunk. William could only guess what it was and he would probably be wrong.

Scattered everywhere in the shed were loads of big things. Halfway disassembled engines of trucks, two empty fuel tanks of epic proportions, a huge workbench with an amount of tools on it that would be the envy of the average hardware shop.

"William, this is a treasure," Hilda whispered, the echo of her voice hissing after them.

"We can use a lot of it, yes. Let's first mop the floor a bit so we can walk around and organise things here."

Half an hour later they were done. The floor was clean. The gunk was stowed in the large fuel tanks, most of the large objects were shoved to the far end of the shed and some of them had been transformed into simple conveniences, like a bed, a table, some chairs, a small kitchen and a luxury privy.

"Now. Clothes and food."

"Food, then clothes," Hilda corrected the wizard. "Fastfood." She swung her wand, and there was food on the table. "Very fast food."

The food was devoured almost as fast as it had been called into existence. Then the two magical people transformed their magical robes into regular clothes.

Hilda muttered about that. "I hate doing this. The dress always feels awkward for a while when I change it back."

"Are you done now?", William asked.

"Yes. I am. And you know what I am talking about."

William indeed knew...

They left their newfound homeshed and walked out the long alley that obscured the shed from view. William had to look around a bit, now they were on the ground. From a broom things looked so much easier. He found his bearings quickly though. Together they circled the immense warehouse.

"What's in there?", Hilda asked as they went round the huge building.

"All kinds of metal goods," William remembered. "I've accidentally gone in there once; I was looking for where I could pick up a load of books."

"Oh. Right. No clothes." Hilda nodded as she kept looking around at the strange place they had arrived at.

After passing through a few streets, William found what he had been looking for. It was an outlet store for all kinds of items, including clothes. The store, as he had hoped, was closed. A pop of the wand later the door was open, the alarm was off and the couple were inside only a sigh after that.

"Right then. Let's see what goodies we can find here."

14. Let's be concrete

The outlet store bathed in the cold light of the white fluorescent tubes overhead. The place was large and gave the impression of being organised. Everywhere there were large, high racks loaded with things. Each rack carried a professional, handwritten cardboard sign describing what was on the rack. The fact that the signs were there gave reason to believe that the contents of some of the racks were doubtful.

"So... clothes..." William started walking through the store. He used the system called pot luck for that, as there seemed to be not much reason behind the way things were stored in the large hall.

They did manage to find the clothes section.

Hilda wiggled her nose. "That smells like the grave of my great grandmother, William. And you think I am going to wear something that comes from that?"

"Yes. Because we can make the smell go away."

"Hmpff." Hilda quickly browsed through the racks of clothes. "Nothing here that a self respecting witch would wear, you know..."

William sighed.

"Don't sigh. You know what I mean. This is all so... ordinary."

"That, sweetwitch, was the plan, remember?"

"I know. But I never said I like it. Oh! Look here! I think we could both fit inside this thing!" Hilda held up a pair of pants that were amazing. Super-size and then some. She flipped up her wand and swooshed it over the giant garment. It then looked like something that would fit her. It was purple.

They rummaged through the racks a while longer and ended up with a couple sets of clothes each. William thought of shoes, but they would be able to adjust their normal footwear easily, without ill aftereffects.

The magical couple left the store. After William had locked it up again, they headed back towards their new homestead.

"You know what's crappedy crap now?", Hilda asked as they changed into some of their new clothes. "We can't fly around. It would cause suspicion when we look like this."

"It would help if we only fly in the areas where we won't be seen. Or take routes where no people live. As long as you can do the shrinking trick, we can take the brooms anywhere."

"Yes," Hilda nodded, "that's what I said."

William snickered and got slapped.

Back in their shed they stored the new clothes they did not need, as well as their normal attire. Then they headed out again, looking for locations where Zelda could have taken up residence after the destruction of her place at town hall.

The brooms could take them quite a stretch into town, as the hour of curfew had come into view. Most people of the town were determined to stay out of the harmful witch's way, and many soldiers were patrolling the streets to keep order. They did not have a difficult job. Yet.

Hilda and William dismounted their brooms. William tucked the shrunken brooms in his inside pocket and then pointed to where they should start climbing.

They had ended up on a very dishevelled street, where the entire layer of asphalt had been ripped out and smashed back on the ground on its side. Metal scraps of what had been cars stuck out everywhere, making progress very cumbersome.

The magical couple reached the end of the street and looked at a split in the road.

"Cinema is over on the left," William said and pointed to a large building. It was entirely dark on the outside. The bulk of it loomed high over the other buildings in the street, which were also darkened, probably with curtains, cardboard or stronger means. The whole street breathed a grim atmosphere.

"Do you think it is a good thing that I come along?", Hilda asked William. "If she's there and she senses me..."

"She knows you're out here looking for her. I don't think it will make a big difference. When she knows you are here, she'll make a move, and that's good. Saves us locating her the hard way."

Hilda nodded, and then clambered after the wizard who started making his way along the line of houses they were close to.

They had gone but fifty feet when a loud command was directed at them. "Halt. Who goes there?"

"Suck an elf," Hilda said. "Hey, are you one of those police folk?"

"No. I am- I am the one who's asking the questions here." The voice of the man behind the megaphone did not sound as convinced as he'd meant to.

"Good. Go find people who want to answer them and keep your voice down, man," Hilda threw at him before William could intervene.

The soldier lowered the megaphone and raised his weapon. The magical couple noticed that he was very good at raising it and William signalled Hilda that she should be careful now. "I demand to know who you are. You are trespassing. Curfew is about to begin, you should be inside."

William raised his hand to draw the soldier's attention. "Why are you out here then? Are you one of the poor souls who still believe this all is the work of terrorists, even when so many people already know there's a witch on the loose here? Or are you hunting the witch, like we are?"

"The witch-talk is a lot of nonsense," the soldier told them, and William sensed how Hilda started fuming. "We are here to keep order and protect people against the gas."

"Oh. Right. That is why they send you guys out on the street without gas masks, right? As examples what the gas will do to everyone. That makes sense."

"Can't I just whop him?", Hilda asked. "This takes so much time."

"Let's try and convince him, sweetwitch. If he knows and talks to his partners-"

"Hey, no talking among yourselves! Tell me your names!" The soldier hid behind his set of prescribed questions.

"We are Hilda and William," said the wizard, "we're unarmed and you are delaying us. Curfew is coming up."

"I know. I said so." The soldier became restless as these two people were getting to him.

"Crappedy crap," Hilda said, and through the link William knew what she was referring to. They jumped and landed in the pit in front of them, where once a proper road had been. Before they hit the bottom, Hilda had her wand in hand and sent a blast to the soldier that made him topple over.

The shriek of a mad broom-flying woman hit their ears and a bolt of fire hit the spot where Hilda and William had been standing a few seconds before, setting bits of pavement aglow and charring the wooden panels of a front door.

"Brooms."

The word was enough for William. Three seconds later they shot up from their pit and saw Zelda flying. She was just pulling her broom in a steep climb to start a quick turn for another round through the street. This time the soldier was her target. The man was fumbling with the safety of his weapon, and his shattered nerves did not help in getting the gun closer to firing.

Zelda aimed her wand at the man in green who was so engaged in messing with the gun that he did not see her coming. Just before she cast the magic, a shockwave hit her, making her broom shudder and the spell she was mumbling go unfinished. Another shriek escaped her lips.

Hilda and William came at Zelda from two sides, blasting streams of magic at the deranged woman on the broom. It all bounced off her, as she had her protection around her on full force, but the constant attack of the two magical people made it impossible for her to take any action herself.

"Damn you, Grimhilda!", Zelda screamed, her voice smashing into the buildings in the street and shattering windows. "You will not get me! And I will crush you and that wizard you have with you, I promise that!"

Zelda shot upwards, forcing her broom to its limits. Hilda and William followed her; they were not going to give up the pursuit they had going. Their prey was in sight and they wanted magical blood.

In the street, the soldier stared at the view that was unfolding in front of his eyes, as the last embers of dispersing magic crackled out of existence around him.

Hilda and William, with the benefit of their link, manoeuvered themselves in a plier-like position as they were racing upwards to Zelda.

Zelda suddenly stopped her crazy ascent and looked at the two that came up to her. A smile came on her lips. "Yes, sweeties, come to momma..." She pointed her wand straight down and threw a spell. After that she simply reinforced her protection and waited.

"She's up to something, William," Hilda warned her wizard. "Be careful. She's crazy, she can do anything now."

It would take them only fifteen more seconds to reach the witch that hovered high over the city, waiting for them in very much a mocking gesture. Zelda's black dress waved around her, as her magic spun around her. Blue crackles danced over her fingertips and her smile turned into a full laugh. Another blast of energy went downwards and then she simply let herself fall downwards, dropping towards the earth like a brick of considerable proportions.

During the time that the magical couple was climbing up to Zelda, the first magical blast of the witch gone mad had summoned an immense lump of street to rise up. Faster and faster the block of concrete came upwards. The second blast of Zelda's magic had split the block into several smaller, but still considerable lumps that were now spiraling upwards along the paths where Hilda and William were approaching her.

As Zelda plummeted downwards past them, Hilda heard her shrieking laughter as she brought her broom to a halt. William also came to a stop. First he looked at Hilda, then at the dot that was Zelda. Then they saw the blocks of concrete that were almost upon them.

"William! Flee!" Hilda forced her broom away from the projectiles that were coming at her.

William reacted quickly, but not fast enough. Six massive blocks formed a tight hull around him, closing him in. As soon as the lumps were around him, the magic left the concrete and gravity took its part in the play.

Hilda saw it happen and that was the reason one of the blocks that was after her hit her in the back as she was flying off as fast as she could. That little slip of attention brought her pain, as well as amazement how the block could have penetrated her protective shield. The impact threw her forward, so she had to throw both arms around the broom to prevent herself from falling off...

William, inside his stone prison, needed precious seconds to realise what had happened. Zelda had played a lousy trick on them. He was aware that he was falling down inside the concrete cell Zelda had conjured around him. Through the link he sensed that Hilda was in trouble and in pain, which angered him even more.

In a burst of emotion, he blasted the concrete away from him. Parts of it would hit the ground many miles away from him. After setting himself free, he had to give it all he had to break his fall to the ground. After that he worked the broom to its extremes to get to Hilda who was still holding on to the broom for dear life.

It took William ages, or so it felt to him, before his broom was next to Hilda's. He wrapped magic around the both of them and then helped Hilda sit up. She cried out in pain as he touched her shoulder. "Holy Bejeebus, Hilda, I'm sorry. What the hell did she do to you..." He held her upright with one arm, while using his wand to patch her up.

"I don't know, William, I really don't know." Hilda moaned as she sat swaying on her broom. She was not used to getting hurt. This had not only damaged her body, but also her pride.

Blood seeped from her shoulder.

15. This stinks

"William, we can't stay up here too long," Hilda said, clenching her teeth together as he was still healing her, first making the bleeding stop. "No telling what she's getting up to down there, while we're here lingering."

"Quiet, witch," William snapped at her, "you're no good for taking her on while you're in this state."

"Shush, you," she retorted, "I'm fine." She lifted her arm and winced. "See?"

"Sure. Stubborn witch," William said. He tightened his grip on her and worked as fast as he could.

Alarm whistles and sirens from below faintly reached their ears.

"Crappedy crap, William, we have to go down there."

"Are you sure you can manage that? Hilda?"

She stared at him for a moment. "I'm so glad you care about me." A quick smile swam over her face, then she looked stern again. "I have to manage." Not wanting to waste more words, she gritted her teeth as she gripped her broom and started her flight down. William was right beside her.

The sound of the warning systems became louder and louder as they approached terra firma. In several places fires were burning, and from one spot a fountain of water tried to touch the clouds. The magical couple hovered in the street where the problems had begun.

"There." Hilda pointed at a hole in the street that had not been there before. "She's gone down there."

Without thinking twice, they moved their brooms to the large black opening and peered down into it. There was nothing but blackness to greet them. Evening had begun to unfold, making things even harder.

"There are even more of them!"

Hilda and William looked up to where the sound came from. Three people had come out of their houses, holding buckets in their hands. They were trying to put out one of the fires and stared at the witch and wizard. One man bent down and picked something up.

The stone that flew towards Hilda and William did not make it to them, but the implication was far from favourable.

"Not that too," Hilda groaned. She dropped herself into the opening, lighting up her wand. William followed quickly, after casting a spell that extinguished the fire.

"Any idea where we are?", Hilda asked.

"We're in the sewage system," William knew. The smell around them was the best proof for it. "Do you know where we should go?"

Hilda wiggled her nose. "Yes. Out of here. But I think down there is our second best option." Her voice echoed eerily through the tunnel.

Slowly they moved forward, ignoring the foul stench and the few rats that were around. They remained as silent as possible, in order to hear any sound that Zelda might make. They were not disappointed.

"Grimhilda! I know you are here! Give it up. I am stronger than you are!"

Hilda looked at William and frowned. She did far too much frowning in this mad place; it would take a lot of tender loving magic to get rid of the wrinkles.

"I know you can hear me, witch!" Zelda's voice rang through the sewage system quite clearly, she could not be far away.

William estimated that she was at best two corners removed from where they were.

Hilda looked down at the water and the ledge next to it. She put her finger over her lips as William watched her and pointed her wand downwards. A rat started floating upwards. It squeaked a few times, until Hilda made it stop.

"Is that you squeaking, Grimhilda? Are you afraid of the dark?"

A gust of wind, carrying a gross smell, came from one of the side tunnels and hit them full force. It came so suddenly that William almost got blown off his broom. All the training he had done with Baba Yaga, to get his protection on, paid off once again.

Hilda held the rat in her hand. Her face was white as ash. The shockwave had shaken her up also, and her hurting body did not appreciate that treatment at all.

William hurt inside as he saw his witch in that state and also wondered what she was going to do with the rat. "Hilda, are you okay?" His words could not convey how he felt anywhere near as well as the link between them did.

"I have to be."

"Tell me what we have to do," he said.

"No time," Hilda said and made her broom go ahead. She made the light from her wand fade away as she moved, and that way they both saw a faint shimmer of light coming from the sewage tube that had treated them to the strong gust of wind.

Hilda swung her broom into the tunnel where the little speck of light was barely visible and growing dimmer. Zelda was there, and moving away from them.

William felt how Hilda made her broom go faster, clearly determined to get the witch in front of them, and ready to ignore any potential danger that was ahead of them. He dimmed his wand also and hoped he was able to use some protection spells to prevent either of them being hit by something unpleasant.

Zelda's eerie laughter bounced along the walls and reached their ears. "You really are not scared yet, are you? I am glad you are still willing to pay me a visit, Grimhilda!"

The light-speck started moving towards them, and it was obvious that Zelda was flying at a high speed.

William was certain that they would clash into each other within fifteen seconds, when he sensed magic building around Hilda. Some shrill shrieking sounds echoed back to him, and then the sound became louder and also deeper.

"William. Stop and turn back," Hilda yelled at him as the shrieking sound grew louder. She was feeding magic to the rat in her hand, and it was growing. When it had become large enough, she flung it, head first, towards Zelda. She fired a last boost of magic into the rat.

The animal expanded some more and now took up about half the entire diameter of the sewer tunnel, its hungry beak wide open and waiting for whatever it was that came charging at it. Short wings emanated from its back and it started flying towards Zelda.

Hilda halted her broom dead in the air, hoping that William had already done that. Otherwise he'd crash into her. After turning and not feeling any impact, she charged her broom to speed away from the flying rat, following William who was already approaching the entrance of the tunnel.

The speeding witch pushed her broom hard, as behind her loud sounds of fierce combat emerged. Zelda and the magically charged rat engaged in battle.

Through the link, William sensed that Hilda wanted to get out of the sewer system, so he quickly moved on to the opening that they had come in through, where he waited for her, giving her enough space to fly up ahead. Once she had passed him, he shot upwards after her and took the lead, guiding her back to the former military base where they had their shed.

As they came storming up from the underground tunnels, the people who had been so handy with a stone before staggered backwards. They had been listening, and hoping to catch a glimpse of the action.

"Get the hell away from there," they heard the wizard yell at them as he disappeared into the dark sky.

-=-=-

As soon as they were out of earshot and out of sight, William grabbed magical control of Hilda's broom. He also flew next to her and held her up with an arm. She had taken too much out of herself this time, he knew. The play with the lumps of street and the smack in the back had left her weaker than she wanted to admit. William eased the two brooms downwards.

The complex was deserted, with only here and there a light burning. The wizard noticed a car from a security company driving around to check on things and nodded. Convenient to know there was this kind of thing here. The car was however far from their place, so William landed the brooms as close to the entrance of their shed as he could and picked Hilda up in his arms before she had to stand. He was afraid she wouldn't be able to.

"William, I can walk," she tried to argue.

"Shut up, witch. You're hurt and I am carrying you inside. And sit still."

Hilda kept quiet and sat still in his arms, closing her eyes and biting away the pain that started to shoot through her. Silently she was grateful she did not have to walk the few steps.

William sat her down on a chair. "Put your arms on the table, sweetwitch, so you are stable." Each word told her how much he worried. He had his wand in his hand already and was working on fixing her shoulder and back. Quickly he created warmth in the shed and removed the clothes from her back. It did not look horrible, as he had managed to do a lot of healing already, but still there was quite some damage.

Hilda felt how hard William was working to make her all well again.

He was careful while wielding magic, repairing her skin and bones and the ruptures in the tissue under all that. Once he was done, she put her clothes back on after repairing them. The rocks had torn those up pretty severely also.

William sat down next to her. "How are you feeling, Hilda?" His hand was over both of hers.

"I'm okay, William. Thank you for taking care of me. I was stupid to let her get to me like that. Even these two Nobblebacks were not able to do that."

"Shush, you," William said, putting a finger over her lips.

After biting him, she said: "That's my line, William, remember that."

William rubbed his finger and grinned. "So what was that thing you sent after Zelda? It did not look like a rat anymore."

Hilda grinned, feeling like a million bucks again. "I did modify it a bit, indeed. I turned it into a strange thing I once saw somewhere far away. It's something that can fly, it's immensely strong and can withstand a lot of magic. Scary thing. It also spits fire and acid."

"Nice little bugger," William commented as he made two large plates of hot food appear.

"What's wrong with our nice little kitchen?", Hilda asked as she pointed at it.

"Forgot to go grocery shopping," William grinned.

16. Thanks for the fish

After eating, they decided that this had been a fairly lost day. Lots of action and damage again, another encounter with Zelda, and still no clue where she lived now. It did not feel satisfying.

The couple retreated to their bed, making some light using a wand that floated over them. Hilda had made sure that the door was closed and the few small windows were blinded, so no security guard would notice their presence and make a fuss about it.

"When do we declare this a lost case and go home?" Hilda asked the question without expecting an answer. She knew that William was as determined to get Zelda as she was.

"We'll get that witch." William pulled her close to him and enjoyed the feeling of his witch close to her. "Are you feeling okay?"

Hilda nodded. "Yes. No more pain. You healed me well, William. Thank you for that." She took down the wand and made the light go out...

-=-=-

The morning came with a groan. In fact, the morning came on its own, the groan came courtesy of a sore witch.

"Hilda? What's wrong?" William sat up immediately as he heard her uttering of discomfort.

"I'm not sure. My back is so stiff, it feels as if someone tied a broom to my spine."

"Oh. Right. Turn on your stomach then," William said.

"Why's that?" Hilda did not jump to every command. Well, any command.

"I am going to give your back a massage to loosen it up. You probably feel this way because of the stoning you had yesterday."

"Oh. Did I tell you," Hilda said as she rolled onto her stomach, "that this is an insane world?"

"Not today," the wizard grinned as he gently started rubbing her back.

Ooohs and aaahs were mixed with "if you ever do that again"s and "oh, do that one more time"s. After the backrub and massage however, Hilda hugged William and thanked him for the care he had bestowed upon her. Her back was all fine again, thanks to his "untying the broom from her spine".

After breakfast they went outside, holding their brooms. There was a lot of business going about, which made it a bit difficult to get out of sight for a good take-off, but magic and some good old-fashioned luck were with them. Once in the air, Hilda told William about a plan.

"I've been thinking how we can piss off Zelda, and I think it is very simple for starters. We're going to fix what she tore apart. The streets and all that, for instance."

William would have raised his hat to her if he had one. "That is some witchy thinking, my witch!"

"Why thank you, my wizard! Now we have to find a place to change first."

"Change? Into what?" William was puzzled by her remark.

"Magical clothes, William. I have them with me. Makes for good looks if we dress normal while we do the cleaning up."

William shook his head, amazed once again by the insight this lovely funny woman had. He thought for a moment, then directed them to a place that would offer them a proper spot to change into their magicals' outfits. Thus dressed, they flew up again and headed for the parts of town where Zelda had done her demolishing best. Calmly, hovering over the streets high enough so no ordinary could reach them with a flung stone or rock, they started to lift the remains of cars from under the rubble and flatten the roads.

They did not make the roads as nice and flat as they had originally been, but at least they were traversable again by the cars that still ran, as well as the odd cyclist that might be found. And of course the tanks of the military.

Steadily they worked on, rebuilding street after street, much to the surprise of the natives of the town. Silently each of them wondered when Zelda would learn about them doing this, and how that evil one would make herself known to them.

It was already well into the afternoon and there still had not been a sign of Zelda. William started to wonder if the evil witch was around. After all, Hilda and he had not tried to be invisible doing their reconstructions.

"I think we did enough for the day," Hilda said, turning to her wizard. "It's hard work, all this street stuff."

They had restored fourteen streets so far and William agreed that this should do it for that day. "Maybe-" he started to say, when Zelda introduced herself.

It was not so much a personal introduction, as a show of force. The street that Hilda and William had just restored erupted underneath them, throwing rubble all around, shattering windows in all the houses on either side and making protection kick in. Safe from the flying street-parts, Hilda and William flew upwards, immediately on high alert and scanning for the evil witch.

The first thing they noticed of Zelda was a shrieking laugh, loud and able to shatter the few remaining windows in the street. "So, Grimhilda, you are playing the good witch of the east now?"

"Show yourself, Griselda!"

"With pleasure, sister in magic," Zelda said as she swooped upwards from somewhere unseen. She had her wand drawn and aimed it at Hilda as she apparently did not see much danger in William. "Why are you interfering here, Grimhilda. Take your fly-boy and go back home where you can do what you are supposed to do."

"Forget that, Griselda," said Hilda, her wand at the ready also. "You are coming along with us and paying for what you've done. You crossed borders, you brought danger to people in this world and you are meddling in affairs that are not yours."

"So ask me if I care!" Zelda slammed down a bolt of fire that set a house ablaze.

William reacted by putting out the fire an instant later, leaving only a blackened front on the house that otherwise had burnt down completely in the fierce flames.

Zelda stared at William. "You insolent. How dare you?"

"Oh, that's easy," William said.

"William, be careful, she's-"

Before Hilda could end her sentence, William had shot a spell at Zelda's broom, making it break up into a hundred pieces.

A hundred pieces of broom proved to be far less effective than a whole broom: Zelda started falling towards the ground, screaming and throwing magic wildly around herself. Afterwards, Hilda and William did not know how the evil witch pulled it off, but on her way down she managed to summon all the pieces of her broom and formed a whole broom of them again. The broom was near her and Zelda got on it, only several feet over the ground.

Hilda and William intensified their protection and not a second too soon: the barrage of nastiness Zelda shot at them was overwhelming.

"She's good," William said as they warded off the stones, fire, tar and dirt that was flung at them.

"You weren't bad yourself," Hilda said as she tried to slam the remains of a car into Zelda. The evil witch however was too fast for that and the car only hit a house. "Nice try to break up her broom. Next time-" she flung herself and William aside as half a car came up to them "-make sure the broom-bits burn."

Hilda grabbed the car-parts and diverted their course so they could fall down somewhere without hurting people.

William in that time tried to hit Zelda again, a stream of fish heads and dirty water flowing from his wand in her direction.

Hilda joined his efforts, effectively washing down fish parts on the evil witch in such a way that Zelda could not even see them anymore. Loudly screaming, Zelda flew off, and as the magical couple stopped their fish-rain, they were certain that they saw Zelda was drenched.

"Well, I think that we have just scored a point, William," Hilda smiled.

"Yup, I firmly believe so too," the wizard said.

"Might be nice if we clean up the fish down there," the witch said. "You seem to have a natural affection for fish entrails, don't you?"

William burst out laughing as they flew downwards to clean up the mega fishmarket they had created. After removing the smell and the fishy bits, they repaired the street again. After all that, Hilda called it the end of the day.

They flew along the street, in the direction where they had seen Zelda fly off. Hilda did her best to pick up traces of the magic that always remained for a while after a witch flew by.

"Damn, I lost her," Hilda muttered at a certain point.

"This way, sweetwitch," said William, pointing into a street.

"And how do you know that? Can you pick up magic better than I do all of a sudden? Simply because you have lived in this crazy world for so long?"

"No. I just follow the smell of the fish."

"Oh... shush you." Hilda glared at him, then slowly made her broom go into the street that William had pointed out. She decided to let William take the lead and follow his nose. Alas, after a few streets the fish smell, as well as the wet trail on the ground, ended.

"Looks like Zelda cleaned herself up here," William said, looking around.

Hilda also looked at the buildings. Then a smile happened on her face. "Maybe, William, maybe. But she is around here somewhere... I feel her."

From the top floor of an abandoned office building, Zelda looked down into the street at the two people on brooms. "I'm gonna get you two. Soon. And that's a witch's promise."

17. It's an art

Hilda and William were satisfied with the achievement of the day. They went back to repair one more street and then they went back to their new temporary home in this world. They took another extensive detour to make sure nobody followed them.

The magical couple ate something and then talked about their following steps to try and catch the wild witch, until the night was all around them.

It was way past midnight when Hilda woke up William.

"What?", he wondered why he was dragged away from his dreams.

"Something funny going on outside," Hilda said, quietly.

William listened intently, and indeed, he also heard things that one would not expect there overnight. The sounds were many. Men talking, cars driving around, loud laughter.

The two got up, dressed in their normal attire and slipped out of their shedly home. Once outside, the noise was much louder, there even was music and some singing as the sounds of large objects being put back and forth became obvious.

Their brooms lifted William and Hilda into the sky, from where a strange and intriguing view was laid out before them. The place they had seen to be a truck garage was brightly lit. Many cars, among which a few trucks, were parked inside and outside of the large building. Men in dark clothes walked around in the lights that came from headlights and flooded out of the garage. The noise of the object being moved came from small wooden boxes and crates that were taken into the garage, coming from one of the trucks. These things were replaced by other, similar crates and boxes.

The men who were busy with the whole enterprise seemed carefree, and had not a worry in the world of someone discovering or seeing them.

"Doesn't look like a big deal to me, Hilda. They are offloading and loading."

Hilda frowned. "It is strange that they bring in boxes and take out the same ones. I bet my wand that there is something fishy going on down there."

They moved easily and unobserved through the dark. The roof of the building had several large venting shafts through which the witch and the wizard could peek down into the well lit hall.

"Of course, Mr. Harmon," a voice rose up through one of the shafts, "things are all in order here. We're taking out the boxes as we talk, and the other ones are going in soon, so the shipment should be on its way in about an hour. No, not sooner as there are too many small things, sir, no option for a forklift this time."

William spotted the talking man. He sat at a desk, feet on top of it and a mobile phone in his hand.

"When the guys from the museum ship things in larger crates, Mr. Harmon, then the swap is much faster. No, sir. Yes, sir. Right, sir, Mr. Harmon." With that the call was ended. Phone-man got on his feet and started yelling directions to his mates, followed by a series of the most bizarre and incomprehensible threats if they were not careful with the goods. Apparently Mr. Harmon, whoever he was, wanted a good deal of care unleashed over the objects that the guys from the museum had sent on.

The word 'swap' had gotten William's attention, and he mentioned that to Hilda, who nodded.

"It did not look right. They are doing something that's... not right." She drew her wand. "Care to go and change their minds?"

With a grin, William got out his wand as well. Then they flew up and found a large window, high up in the wall, from where they could see the interior of the garage.

Against the far wall they saw two stacks of boxes and crates. The men took stuff from a truck to the left stack and then picked a similar box from the right stack to be taken back to the truck. Well, that was more evidence than the two people on brooms needed. There was some very slick art theft going on.

Hilda grinned as she pointed her wand at the stack of fake crates, the ones that were stowed as replacements. In a few moments that nobody paid attention to them, she shrunk the stack to something that would fit in a pocket. Half a minute later one of the dark clothed men came in again with a box. He walked up to the one visible stack of boxes and stopped.

"Hey, Carlo!"

The man who had been on the phone came sauntering in. "What?"

"Where's the other bunch of stuff?"

Carlo pointed casually. "Right- hey, where's the other stuff?"

The man that had yelled out put down the box he had in his hands and started looking around. The stack of boxes that were to be the replacements had shrunk so much that it had fallen into a black shadow cast from the lights above, so the two men did not see the miniature packages.

"Do you think we can do some more fun here?", Hilda asked William.

William nodded. "I think we can trouble them a bit by letting the air out of the tires of all the trucks." He had once seen how much work it was to change one tire of a big truck, so doing that to all tires would certainly create a lot of work for the men in the garage.

They changed position, high over the area. Darkness was their ally, and gravity became one as they let the air escape from the rubber circles that allowed the trucks to move. At first none of the art thieves noticed that something out of the ordinary happened with the trucks, as all were busy looking for the missing crates.

Only as a few men came out and noticed that the two trucks were lower on their feet, there was an alarm going into the garage. William and Hilda then blew up the tires of the trucks, making the heavy vehicles slump down to the street, going nowhere for the time being.

Guns appeared in hands, flashlights went round the area and suddenly the men were not making any sound at all. Hilda and William calmly watched the men spread out, searching the area for the insolents that had ruined their evening. The men were clearly used to this, as they did not make a big fuss. Also their weaponry was more than sign.

"Do you know what these metal things do?", Hilda asked William. She was not at all aware of the deadly firepower that the guns packed.

"I do, and yes, I'll take care of them," William nodded. Through their link he sent images as well as he knew, about the guns.

Hilda grinned. She understood what her wizard was trying to tell her.

They divided the area in two and at their leisure went on to disable the guns. Gunpowder changed into mud, springs changed into straw and mere minutes later the fire-arms of the men were rendered useless, unless they wanted to throw them at someone.

The magical couple returned to the garage, where only three more men were looking for the crates. As Hilda and William pulled up by the window, one of them had clearly just found the small package that had been the fake load for the trucks. He stood in the warehouse part of the building, something small on his hand, pointing and yelling at his comrades.

Marco, the man with the phone, ran upto the man with the lost boxes in his palm. Hilda nodded and mumbled a spell. A second later, the two men lay buried under the boxes and crates that suddenly had returned to their original sizes.

Number three came running in, to find his mates covered in boxes. William decided that a few of the boxes that were not too damaged could just as well jump up and knock out the third man.

With that taken care of, the magical couple was confident that the rest of the group of men was ready to be rounded up. They moved their brooms around to the front of the garage, where the two trucks stood as stranded whales, the only difference being that whales did not need flat tires to be stranded. And whales lay, they would not stand.

They touched down on one of the trucks and took their time to look around over the group that was still attempting to find people that were not there.

"Hey. Are you looking for us?" Hilda threw in her natural diplomacy that sometimes made William whince.

Diplomatic or not, her words had the desired effect. All guns were pointing at the magicals within two seconds, aims were taking and trigger fingers were ready to blow the two strange people to the next kingdom of their choice.

"Before you think about calling on your boss, let me tell you that he is under several crates and boxes, and for now indisposed," Hilda said to the men on the ground. "And your guns are useless, so you are free to try them on us."

This invitation did not go by without a dozen attempts to fire, all ending in nothing except curses and arms thrown to the ground.

"Good boys," Hilda said, clapping in her hands. "Now all just line up, so we can tie you together and make it all painless for you."

The good boys however had a slightly different idea about this part of the plan. As if they had practised this, they started climbing the trucks in couples, so they could charge towards the two strange people from four sides.

William shook his head. "Too bad, we offered a painless option." Then he and Hilda drew wands again and made ropes appear from them, ropes that rapidly snaked themselves around the legs and arms of the art thieves. The couples of thieves became tied to each other faster than they could see it happen, and fell where they were standing. The sound of the men falling onto the metal roof of the trailers was accompanied by ouches and oompfs.

"Painful," Hilda commented as she made her broom float up. She and William flew upwards and into the garage, where the three men, still knocked out, were lying. They too were tied up and put in front of the building along with their partners in crime.

William searched Marco's pockets, found the phone and called the police. He told them about the collection of criminals they had gathered and tied up, including what they had heard of the swap of museum artefacts and then hung up, After switching it off, he put the phone in his pocket. Then they lifted off again and flew to the entrance of their home and went to sleep. The police would take care of the rest, as soon as they had found a way to get to the former military camp.

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