Chapter One

 

The path to contentment should be clear to one with a purpose, yet I diminished into the realm of the lost.

Grief smothered me until I gasped for air.

I hummed with passion. Hate. I wanted the High Lord’s head on a pike. I wanted to dance manically around his corpse, and give in to the dark whispers in the corners of my heart. Nothing less would appease the burring ache in my chest, the carnivorous sense of loss that threatened to consume me.

The dew from the dawn soaked the understory, and smoke from the bonfire faded. I can barely remember what I had seen as I had stumbled through Orchard, fairy Wyld, and place of my birth.

Coming to a halt at base of three large tree trunks the colour of ash, I had gotten a vague sense of being surrounded, and a low intense hum of feelings pressed on me from above, like whisperings of the gods calling from the heavens. I had looked up, dazed, and gasped at the fallen stars scattered across the forest canopy. The twinkling I had glimpsed among the rich green leaves was fairies and their auras. An immediate kinship bloomed in my heart and it petrified me. I had looked into their shinning faces and seen exactly what my arrival meant to them.

The fairies stood on the porches and outer steps of tree houses seemingly growing from the thick bark that coated the broad tree boughs. The males and females wore long tunics and dark trousers beneath, similar to what I had seen in the Grove, but these people seemed softer somehow. These were not warriors, but families with young children and elderly folk who peeked down at me with expressions of awe. The elderly fairies, faces wrinkled, and hair shades of pure white and gray boggled my mind. How many centuries could have to pass for a fairy’s skin to wrinkle and back to become curved with age? Two thousand? Three? Not that I had forgotten, but it brought my own age into question. I had eighteen years of memories as a human. I was … had been a Sect Disciple found on a Priest’s doorsteps, and was given to the Clerics to become a protector of humanity.

Yet Breandan, the fairy-boy who had found me, claimed I was born before him. Two hundred years before him. That was when my mother had split the key to the grimoire - a powerful book of spells - into three amulets and hidden them with magical guardians. One, the amulet of protection, had been given to my older brother Conall. The second, the amulet of wisdom, had been given to me. The last, the amulet of power, had been given to her nephew, and the heir to the fairy Wylds, Devlin.

Had the protection of the key been my whole purpose maybe I would not feel the need to run away. Perhaps I could have adjusted into my new life as a demon, a kind of being I had been raised to hunt down and kill if it threatened the safety of my human home. But what came with the amulets I’d nearly died for was a responsibility to use their power to protect and guide the fairy people, the cornerstone of demonkind.

Stricken with grief, stumbling across the Wyld, I found myself in the midst of the people I was destined to protect they intuitively looked to me for reassurance. Shaken and frightened after the sensational and violent departure of their High Lord they turned their faces down toward me, and I felt the weight of every gaze – a thick swelling of anxious consciousnesses pleading for me to soothe them. But I had nothing to give. Nothing. I was a girl, angry, and full of anguish. What did they expect from me? I watched their Lord abuse and murder my best friend. I was forced to watch her suffer, unable to help her as iron chains drained my power. Alex had been chosen for being nothing more than a source of purity, and as a twisted way for Devlin to get back at me. How could they have expected anything from me? I saw nothing but monsters. Pointy eared and fanged monsters in a myriad of colors and creeds reaching out their talon tipped fingers to trap and torture me.

Shivering, I came back to myself and glanced around. I sat by a pool of cool water, and the most beautiful lush flowers I had ever seen bloomed in the morning sunrays. The air was fresh, and scented with a zesty bouquet. I breathed in deeply, letting the cool air chill my lungs even as my mind fought for clarity. The air tasted sweet and earthy, and every noise no matter how low or loud washed over me like raindrops, like music. Colour was intense and everything seemed to shimmer and glow. As the dawn passed and the sun climbed higher in the sky the soft radiance emitted by the flora intensified. Never had I experienced a dawn like it. When I was at Temple the sun always retreated behind low and dark clouds, covering the land in a perpetual twilight. Here everything was made of light and shone brightly.

I was not alone in this magical place.

After I had emerged from the earthen tomb I encased Tomas, my vampire, inside to hide from the sun that scorched his skin, Breandan had spoken a few terse words with Conall. My brother had motioned for me to follow him after gently placing Alex’s shrouded body on the altar she had lost her life upon. Ignoring him, I had walked off, needing to stretch my legs and make sense of everything I had been through. It was then I had come to the centre of the fairy Wyld, and caught a glimpse of the rest of my kind. Sensing my panic, he’d clasped my elbow and brought me here, to the sparkling pool, and left me to go and do whatever fairy lords do after such a night as we had suffered.

The two fairies he’d left me with had taken one long look at me then coaxed me to the pools edge. Slowly, they had approached and when I did not move or speak they began their careful grooming of me. Each touch was feather light and they clearly had a deep appreciation of my personal space for never once did I feel like hissing at either of them. Wrapping my arms around my legs, and resting my chin on my knees, I let them tend to me. They dressed me in a sheath of dark muslin and tied flowers into my hair. They were attentive and respectful, so I sat quietly let them do what they wanted. In honesty, I didn’t know what to do, or think, and getting upset over a gentle rubbing down with a soft cloth and flower scented water seemed silly.

“I sense you have had healing magic, Lady Priestess,” the older fairy-woman said in a tinkling voice. “It is not wise to indulge in healing magic too often, but would you let me sing to you? You will find it soothes your mind and revives your body.”

I eyed her distrustfully, but even maintaining that seemed too much effort, and I shrugged lifelessly. She smiled her eyes crinkling at the edges, and she sung to me in a soft, lilting voice. I let the words wash over me, and was surprised when I did begin to feel better. Finishing she peered into my face, and I gave her a genuine smile, even if it was a bit small. She beamed back at me and gave – whom I realized was her apprentice – a short order to tidy up.

They stood, but I remained seated, glancing at them in vague interest. The elder fairy paused. “Should you have need of me again my name is Lily,” she motioned elegantly to her apprentice who stared at me in awe, her chubby face pinky-purple. “And this is Grace.”

The fairy-girl sank into such a low curtsey the ends of her red hair scraped the forest floor. “An honor, Lady Priestess,” she greeted breathlessly, remaining bent over.

“Hai,” I blurted uncomfortably, my voice cracking from lack of use.

Lily winced delicately, her papery features wrinkling. “I served your mother and I know the burdens can be many. Should you ever have need of me do not hesitate to seek me out.”

With a small nod of her head Lily left me at the pools edge with my thoughts, gliding away with her hands clasped in front of her. Grace trailed behind her; the woven basket of oils and cloths clutched in her hands, shooting me an amazed look over her rounded green shoulder.

Liking the peace and quiet, I enjoyed the sight of the sun climbing higher in the sky, edging toward dense cloud cover I knew would smother its radiance until the next dawn. I suspected outside of the Wyld the bright yellow sunshine would become pale.

I heard the crunching of leaves behind me. It was not Breandan for I could sense when he was near. My brother? I frowned when feet too big to be Conall’s stepped into view.

“We must talk,” a gruff voice commanded. And it was a command. I doubted this fairy knew how to address others in a casual manner.

“I thought you had returned to the Grove?”

“I came back. For you.”

My eyes drifted closed. “Right now, Lochlann? Must we do this now?”

He exhaled loudly. “I can bring myself to understand how this may be hard for you, but I do not have the luxury of time. Nor do you.”

“Devlin will still be there in a few days from now. He’ll die by my hand, and it doesn’t matter if it is today or tomorrow.”

“You know I cannot allow that.”

My eyes opened and I shrugged, peering at nothing. “At what point did I give the impression I give a damn what you say?”

“You would listen if he asked you. But you love him, don’t you?” Lochlann paused, waiting for my answer. I said nothing. “Your love I do not need.” He crouched down on his hunches beside me. “I need your loyalty, Rae. I need your respect and,” he grabbed my chin and yanked my head round, “at the very least I need your full attention.”

I jerked from his grasp and glared at him, my body recoiling at his touch.

His handsome face was stony, unimpressed, and his eyes narrowed at the same time as mine.

Lochlann was a fine fairy male. He was bulkier than Breandan, rugged, and from what I gathered much older. His ears had the point of fairy and his skin had the faintest of green tinges. He had no tail or wings, but what he did have was a powerful and commanding presence that I had to fight not to feel intimidated by. His hair brushed his shoulders in golden blonde waves, and his jaw was square. The most striking thing about this fairy lord was that he had one green eye and one blue, both cold and beautiful. I saw much of Breandan reflected through that gaze, and it made me uncomfortable.

“Why do you, Breandan, and Maeve look so different?” I asked. “Conall and I have the same coloring even though my fairy form is like this.” I looked down at my tail, flicking on the ground by my leg. “Not that I understand why I’m shaped differently either.”

Lochlann watched me for a while before he said, “Truly, you know nothing of what you are?”

I flushed. “Just what I’ve learned from the Clerics.”

He snorted. “Then you know nothing. Fairies conceive like humankind but our bodies do not work the same.” He frowned. “The genetic markers do not behave the same. We are all born with a purpose and a destiny. We all used to have green skin, red, or light colored hair, wings and tails, but as we evolved and mixed with other races our blood diluted. You and Conall come from an ancient bloodline, and there is strength in your blood that defies time. You have wings and a tail, proof of this. We have not seen a form so pure in a long time, Rae. It is a great honor.”

He hadn’t answered my question. “And your family?”

His upper lip twitched. “Breandan and Maeve were birthed by different mothers to my own.”

“And may the gods keep them warm in their embrace for an eternity,” said a high trill from behind me.

A fairy, the first I had ever laid eyes on, skipped up to us and curtsied, clasping her hands behind her back and giving me a sheepish look. Her fiery hair drifted over her shoulders, and the damp, darkened tips slid across her pale green collarbones. She was slender, and moved with an innate poise gifted to our kind.

“Grace fell over herself telling me you were here, and that she had tended to you. I thought I would check to make sure you were alright.” Maeve’s scarlet irises darted between Lochlann and me. The tension between us was evident by the way her eyebrow climbed. “You are alright?”

My eyes went from narrowed to slitted.

“I will be,” I replied flatly, and rested my head back on my knees to watch a dragonfly flit across the water’s surface.

Maeve came to sit cross-legged on my other side, and sighed. “You know I had no choice. And I did do all I could to help. I made sure the chains didn’t–” She cut off guiltily.

Lochlann chuckled. “I know you helped her, sister. I am not mad.”

She gathered herself up and nodded. “Good. Breandan is always so grumpy and serious, but he smiles when Rae is around. Can you believe it? Breandan smiling. We need to keep her happy so she doesn’t up and leave him.” Maeve giggled and played with the tufts of weeds and flowers by her wriggling toes. “I’m glad to help you if it means I get to see one of my grouchy brothers’ content once and a while.”

“Says one in a constant fit of giggles.” There was a deep affection in Lochlann’s voice when he spoke to her and I peeked at his face.

It had softened as he watched his baby sister. The affectionate expression was one I’d not seen on his face before, and it warmed my heart. All I had ever seen was him scowling at Breandan. I’d assumed he was cold to everybody, even his own kin. Possibly this fairy lord was worth following? It wasn’t like I had many options.

Lochlann needed me, my blessing, to become High Lord of the fairy race, and I needed to decide sooner rather than later if I was going to give it to him. The least I could do is make sure if I did follow him that he was truly as dedicated to his people as Breandan and Conall professed him to be.

Maybe if it didn’t feel like the morning was a massive inhalation of breath waiting to exhale, I would stay, and learn about him. Possibly, if I didn’t feel a pressing need to be gone from this place, I would come to understand him much better.

But as it was I felt a sudden and urgent need to be gone.

“I’m going after Devlin,” I said quietly. Lochlann and Maeve’s attention shifted to me. Straightening my legs, I flexed my wings, and rolled my head around my shoulders. “I’ll get the grimoire back and we’ll take it from there.”

“It would be better if you stayed,” Lochlann said in a measured voice. From the tone I could tell he was being mindful to not sound like he was ordering me about. “I have already tasked Conall with the retrieval of the spell book. He is my best warrior and tracker by far.”

“Then I’ll go with him,” I said simply.

As far as I was concerned the conversation was over, and I reached through my bond to Breandan to discover where he was. It didn’t take me long to find him, and it took even less time for him to find me, making me think he’d been closer than I had known. Breandan knew how to mask the bond, and at some point I had to get him to teach me how.

He stepped from the shadows of a tree and paused for half a beat when Lochlann abruptly stood.

As he approached a hot flush spread over my limbs, and my wings fluttered.

His body was tall, face unspeakably beautiful, and his countenance fierce. Breandan glowed with a silver light that pulsed beneath his skin, and made the black tattoos covering his lean body from head to toe shift and move. The marks on his torso were stunning, swirling lines, and intricate patterns that weaved around runes of power, and incantations of magic. As always his eyes ensnared my attention first and kept my attention the longest. His silver-blue gaze was a prison I would readily endure for an eternity. They were mesmerizing, and more often than not trained on me. Drooling in the company of his family was probably not good manners, so I let my gaze drift to the left and enjoyed tracing the shape of his ear, curved to a slender elliptical with a sharp point.

He wore dark segmented trousers, rigid across his thighs and shins, but flexible about his waist, groin, and knee joints. Fairy males did not wear tops so their chests were always temptingly bare. Breandan’s smooth and hard chest was more tempting than most.

Heart thumping - worked up from my bold and intimate stare - immediately I stood, and waited patiently for him to hold me when what I wanted was to run headlong into his arms, and rub myself over him.

He stopped a few paces away and wrapped his hands round my upper arms and pulled me into him. I went willingly, my nature crowing in joy at the pleasure rippling from where his skin touched mine. I was unable to drum up resistance despite my inner turmoil at how easy enduring his touch became. Sighing, he brushed his lips across mine. My heart skipped a thump. Warmth. Sunlight. My mouth parted when he paused a hairsbreadth away from kissing me again, and I breathed him in, melting in his arms.

The power of our bond flared and settled around us like a comforting cloak.

Oh gods, it was true that I belonged to him.

“Brother.” Lochlann’s voice cracked like whip and shattered the sweetness of our reunion.

Breandan tensed and his face smoothed into a blank canvass. I blinked up at him, seeing much in his silver eyes, and wondering how it was possible to read so much from the way they watched me. He tried to disentangle himself, but I placed my hands on his broad shoulders and rested my cheek on his chest. I couldn’t help it, and the steady boom of his heartbeat was grounding.

He breathed out, the sound almost a chuckle, and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on the crown of my head and swaying me gently in comfort. I made a small noise of contentment. Had he truly expected me to push him away?

“You understand I would do anything to keep you safe, to keep you with me?”

Brow crumpling in confusion as to what he referred to exactly, I nodded once. I was slowly coming to understand this – Breandan’s need to have me with him. I felt it too.

“Say-so,” I murmured and leaned back.

I had not seen my fairy since I’d saved Tomas from the sun, and there was much feeling between us. Thankfully, none of it seemed hateful. I knew had Breandan not stood between his brother and I that Tomas would more than likely be ash. Lochlann had prepared to do battle with me and if his skill was anything like his younger brother’s I would have been in serious trouble. I didn’t even know if Lochlann could touch the Source and wield magic. Yet Breandan had defended me and given me time to get my vampire safely into the cool ground to rest until he could protect himself again.

Breandan ran his finger down the bridge of my nose, breaking my reflective trance. “Good,” he concluded.

Breandan’s voice was something indescribable. To my ears every syllable was silkily profound. I was sure no one else could hear the raw beauty of his voice, and in some strange way I was glad, as it meant I could covet it for my own.

Over his shoulder I saw Conall join us and my frown smoothed as I wiggled my fingers in a wave at him. Already I felt better simply for having my fairy close and touching me.

“The bond is ancient and powerful,” Lochlann’s voice had my shoulders hunching like he’d poked me with a stick. It took a great deal of will for me to not want to supplicate myself to him when he spoke like that, but Breandan no longer seemed affected and his hold on me tightened. “I would never go against the will of the gods and of magic,” Lochlann continued as he moved closer to us, “but we must observe that faiykind expect … certain customs to be observed and revealing this connection has been forged between the Priestess and the former Wyld Guardian would not be wise.”

Lochlann stopped at my back, so close I could feel the heat of his chest. I shifted in Breandan’s arms and pushed forward, not liking how close he was. Over my head, Breandan locked eyes with his Elder, held his gaze in a lengthy silence.

There was a sudden and palpable pressure in the air.

Maeve skipped forward, her gaze flitting between her two brothers. “Brother….” Both turned to her, like me, unsure of which she spoke.

Conall appeared at my elbow, and I blinked at his protective stance, his hand on my shoulder as if prepared to rip me away from Breandan. He watched both of the fairies with a careful eye, his long fingers flexing on my skin.

I held my breath, tense, not wanting them to fight, but too afraid to say anything lest it start them arguing.

After a beat, Lochlann backed two steps away and continued smoothly with, “Rae, you must be discreet about your attachment to Breandan. The people are frightened, confused. They have much to concern themselves with, and the last thing we need is for them to lose all faith in their new leader before he has even acceded the throne.”

Conall bowed his head slightly and released me, but did not step away, kept his stance defensive.

I arched an eyebrow. “Throne?”

“We have not used the term King or Queen in many millennia, but the High Lord and High Lady are effectively royalty,” Conall explained his glare fixed on Breandan.

I pursed my lips. “So what is the Priestess? Where does she fit into that arrangement?”

Lochlann breathed out hard from his nose in impatience.

“Traditionally the High Lady was the Priestess,” Breandan said quietly.

“Oh, right,” I said cordially, running that through my mind a few times. It took a few beats for it to click and make sense what that meant for me personally. My eyes widened and though I was nowhere near him I took another step away from Lochlann into Breandan, the idea of being his making me feel ill.

“I’m not thrilled either,” Lochlann said, surly. “Not only does my future Queen not dote on me she was not raised as a lady, but as a human warrior. She is bonded to my younger brother, is willful, reckless, and has a blood tie to a vampire.” He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled darkly. “The gods laugh at me.”

“But I can’t … I mean, you know that I would never–”

“Choose me over him?” Lochlann motioned to Breandan with a bold swipe of his hand. “I am aware but it changes nothing. Until then we must give the people a united front to gather courage from. I will not ask you to mate with me until you are ready, or unless there is no other choice.”

I spluttered and quivered as I tried to come up with a semi polite way to tell him he had a better chance of mating a high goddess than with me. Seeing the horror on my face and my furious rebuttal on my lips, Conall jumped in and argued, “The mating of the fairy Priestess with the High Lord is tradition.” His gaze bounced between the three of us unsure of whom to target.

Lochlann held up his hand for him to be silent. “Our mating will not be discussed at this time, but I will not let you make a fool of me in front of all demonkind. Can you be discreet?”

He asked the last not just of me and for the first time his gaze fell on Breandan who flinched as if it was a physical slap. Meeting his brother’s contemptuous gaze his own eyes filled with anger, and went wild. He looked away, jaw working manically before he clenched his fists, and swallowed whatever it was he wanted to say.

There would be no swallowing on my part that was for sure. “We can try to be discreet,” I agreed. “But for our safety, not your pride.”

I looked back at my fairy who had regained control of himself, and gifted me with a long, heated stare that slid up one side of me, and rubbed down the other. My wings fluttered and my breathing deepened as I sank into him. The air between us warmed and buzzed with tension.

Conall cleared his throat and Breandan tore his gaze away, a light flush across his cheeks. My own face burned and I dragged in a shaky breath. I removed myself from his arms, and hugged my stomach to make my trembling less pronounced.

Discreet. Right.

“You’ll have to do better than that,” Lochlann said in a tight voice and held out his hand to me. “Walk with me around the tree bases before you leave. I will announce we agreed you will seek out the grimoire once you have left.”

Maeve, who I had all but forgotten she was so quiet, snorted then coughed daintily behind her hand. She batted her reddish-purple eyelashes at her brother’s scowl. “Can I go with them?” she asked in her high trill.

“No,” Lochlann replied.

Her face crumpled. “But I–”

“No!” Breandan and Lochlann barked.

Maeve and I shared a long-suffering look.

Plainly irritated, Lochlann held out his hand again, and didn’t bother to disguise his dislike of me. Not that I cared. I thought he was repressed and boorish, but whatever. I gingerly placed my palm on his, cringing when his big hand engulfed mine, and locked my fingers in an overly tight grip. A shudder wracked its way up his frame and mine.

Conall frowned at us. “You both look uncomfortable.”

Lochlann forced his shoulders down from his ears, but I couldn’t help leaning away from him until he practically held me upright.

Sighing, Breandan brushed his fingers across my cheek. The comfort was instant and my body unlocked allowing Lochlann to pull me upright. Breandan let his hand trail down my neck and across my shoulder blade before giving me a gentle shove forward.

Lochlann started at a brisk walk and I stumbled to keep up with him. He was pretty huge, and two of his strides equaled three of my steps. Soon the three gigantic tree trunks came into view, and the auras began to press on me again.

Lochlann slowed and pulled me closer to his side. “Smile,” he ordered through his teeth.

Coming to a stop he raised our joined fists high, nearly yanking my arm out of my socket, forcing me to stand on my tip-toes he was so tall. The move was met with a cry of jubilation from the crowds above. Happy voices singing praise and lower baritones bellowing greetings. I pulled the corners of my mouth up even as I clenched my throat muscles, moments away from emptying my stomach onto the ground in panic.

I did not like this habit of mine, the need to vomit when I got stressed, anxious, or scared. Emotions I experienced with worrying frequency since these demons came trampling into my life … or did I stumble back into theirs?

Breandan was close by my side, silent, his eyes locked on his brother’s hand engulfing mine. A wild desperation simmered beneath the surface of his calm that even I could see, and Conall kept half his attention on him, and the other half on me. He looked pleased, and joined the salute with much enthusiasm, pride oozing from every pore of his being.

Lochlann let our hands drop. Before I could scurry away from all the eyes he yanked me closer to his side, and leaned to murmur intensely in my ear. “You lead my brother into danger and I do not like it.”

Instinctively, my head hung before I jerked it straight. I narrowed my eyes at him, annoyed he continued to use the power of his voice to try and intimidate me. “You need the grimoire and you need me. Don’t forget it,” I whispered in reply. “I’m doing the best I can. I’m thinking all things considered I’m doing well. I’m pretending I enjoy your touch aren’t I?”

“You have no idea what we must face in the days to come as a people. I beg the gods you do not only shatter my brothers spirit with whatever perversion you have with that vampire, but the spirit of my people as you shirk your responsibilities.” He scoffed in derision. “To think when I learned you had been found I was excited to meet my future mate. But now I see you are exactly like your mother, selfish.”

I swallowed hard and forced down tears I refused to let him see. I was not weak. He would not see me cry. Was I selfish? Well, yes. I had been raised to look for my own safety first. To take care of myself so that I could then in turn take care of those who depended on me. I couldn’t change who I was in the space of a few days and become an altruistic leader, no matter how many times I was told it was my true nature. I knew who I was to these people, and what they expected of me. I was too aware of it. “You think you know me,” I said in a voice just as cold as his. “You don’t.”

“I can only judge on what I see. And what I see in you, Rae is fear. Mistrust. Confusion. Do I see evil? No, but I do not see the purity I expect of the Priestess.”

“It’s not like I asked for this. You all came looking for me, remember?”

My tongue thickened with the words. That was not exactly true. It had been me who had ventured beyond the Wall. I was the one who had been drawn to the forest and disobeyed the Sect Doctrine, the rules set down by the Priests that kept us safe.

The fairies had looked for me, but deep down inside I had been looking for them too.

Lochlann’s gaze darted over my shoulder. “And look what happened when the most vulnerable of us found you.” His gaze turned hard as steel, condemning me with the power at his command. “You will be the end of him, and it breaks my heart.”

His will crushed upon my own, and I grunted. Pushing my own influence up as a barrier was the only thing that stopped my knees giving out from beneath me, so sudden and intense was the attack. I pulled my hand from his grasp and spun on my heel, letting my tail flick behind me and punch him in the gut. Cursing, Lochlann stumbled at my unexpected jab, and I sniffed at him over my shoulder before stomping off, ignoring Conall’s plea to stay and Breandan’s curious stare, to say my final goodbyes.

When I knew I was no longer in view by the people, I breathed out. Shaking, I rubbed my sweaty palms on my hips. This friction between Lochlann and I wasn’t good. Nor was the deception by omission to the people. Did they truly believe I would mate with Lochlann now that Devlin was gone? How would they react when they learnt I had a bond to Breandan and a blood tie to a vampire?

Reaching the sacred ground Devlin used to sacrifice Alex, I let the energy of the place soak my pores. The vibration of magic was strongest here and I shivered. It was just a place, nothing to be afraid of, right?

My eyes landed on the altar and the body wrapped in green vines and flowers that lay a top it. Standing before it guilt and loss flooded my heart. Gathering my courage, I placed my palms on her chest. The dim hum of energy from the body was unexpected, and my hands lifted off her in shock. Brows furrowed, I cocked my head. Focusing, I pushed my influence out and sent it down into the cold flesh not sure what I was doing or expecting to find.

“Rae.” The sharp call snapped me back into my own mind, and the connection, the sense of consciousness lost.

I swallowed and looked down at my hands then the body. “I think ... it felt like she–”

“You should not play with the dead.” Breandan took my hand and pulled me away from Lex’s body.

Letting myself be pulled away, I shook my head in confusion. “But I felt her.”

“We are all connected to the Source on some level or another. As fairy we can tap into this energy and seek out minds that are not our own. That is how Lochlann keeps track Maeve’s state and mine. That is why you can feel Alex when you touch her body. It takes time for the energy to fade after the life has ended, more so when the death is sudden.” He sighed. “Rae, what in the heavens did you think you were doing before using your magics to craft such perversion?”

Damn. All of a sudden my toes were the most interesting thing to stare at. “I– I don’t know what–t you … m–mean….” My tongue tied into a knot, and my stomach cramped uncomfortably. I avoided his eyes as yet again I tried to lie.

“You tried to make a zombie.”

My mouth fell open. It was out there, the word I had not even said to myself. “That’s not possible. It’s a legend told by Vodoun to scare witches and other demons.”

“Yet that is what you tried to do to as she lay awash in blood at the altar. I felt it in the air. You called on the Loa, Rae, and they were answering you. You defied natural order and that is not your purpose.”

I bit my lip, hard. “It was you? You stopped me?”

“If you had truly wanted to tie her to such a repugnant fate I would have let you finish.” He held up his palm to stop me from speaking. “But I think I stopped you in time.”

I grabbed his hand. “You think? I saw her twitch, but I thought it was her body being zapped with magic.” I looked back to the body and thought of the energy I could feel within her. Was it possible? Was there a way to bring her back to me?

A shadow of a nameless emotion passed his face, like clouds over the sun, but it was gone in an instant, smothered by that expressionless mask he hid behind. “To complete the resurrection you needed to lock her soul in her body. She did not awaken, she was set free.”

My excitement died and I loosened my grip on his hand. Tears welled in my eyes to run down my face. “I miss her,” I confessed and scrubbed at my cheeks. “She’s only been gone a few hours and I– I’m struggling to accept it. She doesn’t feel gone to me.” I tried to make him understand that her loss was not something I could rationalize. “She should never have been dragged into this. She suffered. They humiliated her and abused her body. I want … wanted to give her something back.”

“You tried to give her life but it was not for her wellbeing.”

I jerked like he had backhanded me and stared at him. “How could you say that to me?”

“You tried to reanimate her for yourself. No one would want to live such a wretched existence, least of all someone as vibrant as I sensed your friend to be. She would have become a killer, Rae, and consumed with thoughts of flesh and pain. A slave to the urges and whims of the dark magic she was reborn from. Her flesh would be cold and dead. She would never change or grow. You would have given her life, but lost the friend you knew.”

“You don’t know her. She would have been fine. I would have helped her, zapped her with good energy or something.”

I looked inward, seeking answers to my own questions and complicated thoughts. In truth, I’d not thought of the repercussions when I had tried to reanimate Lex. How would she have felt becoming a zombie? Created and kept alive by dark magic pumping through her body. The knowledge of how to create zombies had supposedly died out alongside the Vodoun; Bokors and Mambos who practiced voodoo a decade before. Lex’s own mother was the last known voodoo sorceress known to humankind – hunted down by the Clerics and executed. Her mother’s power was the reason why I thought calling on the voodoo deity would save her from death. But would Lex have forgiven me? Could she have ever been happy?

“It was selfish,” I admitted and my shoulders slumped. “But it doesn’t matter. It didn’t work. I swear to never try it again.”

As I said the words magic crackled, and a heavy constraint wrapped around my neck and settled. Then the collar of air disappeared. I blinked, placing my hands around my neck.

“Uh, what happened?”

Breandan stared at me like I was mad. “You made an oath.”

I rubbed my neck. “By saying I swear?”

“Our words are bound by magic. If you swear to do something, you must keep the promise.” He pulled my rubbing hands down from my throat and placed them at my sides.

I shifted, fidgety. I plucked at my bottom lip instead, knowing yanking on my hair, or rubbing my nose would be too big a giveaway to how uncomfortable I was feeling. “This goes hand in hand with the whole speaking the truth thing, right?” He nodded. “So if I break an oath–”

“You die.”

I gaped at him then spluttered; “You didn’t think to tell me this before?”

His shoulders lifted and fell. “You would not break an oath lightly.” His eyes darted to the shadowed mound to the side of us then back to me. “You’re finished?”

I grunted my disagreement, and stepped away from him wanting to get this next part over with quickly.

The thing I turned to was a living crypt of trees and leaves. The great oak trunks had twisted down and their roots had reached up to entwine together tightly. It was stunning and I could not believe I had connected my power to that of the fairy Wyld and created this.

Breandan said it was because on this sacred ground my power was absolute. I rubbed my chest to soothe the ache the thought brought to my heart. Had I known that mere hours ago, so much might have happened differently.

I had left my vampire-boy, Tomas, slumbering in this earthen tomb I had made to keep him safe. He was dead, and would not rise until sunset. I was pleased, because it meant I could focus on the grimoire and Devlin. From the moment I had met him, Tomas had been a complicated being I could not understand. Always he was there on the fringes of my attention, but never the focus. When he had made me stop – by searing me with a kiss to leave me shaken and dazed – he had snapped into focus. It had been enough to sway my loyalty when faced with the choice of losing him or risking Breandan’s affection.

Thinking of my vampire always made me confused and wary. He had a numbing, drug like affect on my senses I was beginning to equally love and hate. I needed to be sharp and definite not fuzzy and indecisive. I snorted at myself. I would think on my blood tie with Tomas, and my promise to help him later. I didn’t even know what it meant … and if I did know what difference would it make? Could I break it? I knew my bond with Breandan was thrown into doubt because of my tie with Tomas. Devlin had made that perfectly clear when he had tried to claim me.

I glanced overhead, past the dense tree canopy, and saw we had nine hours of sunlight at best. When night fell he would come after me. I knew this like I knew the hammering of my heart when he was near was taboo.

Tomas was no fool, and so I knew not to worry too much about what would happen when he woke.

He would have to spend most of the night catching us up, and even if he did manage to gain on us – and catch us before the sun rose – he would hang back. He was wary of Breandan, and for good reason. Breandan would tear him apart the moment he had a chance.

Distance from Tomas was good. I would have time to decide what was best for him and me. Please, gods, let me find an answer.

As I had lain beside him in the earthen tomb, I’d wrapped my arms around him and wallowed, slipped deeper into despair until my heart had called for its other half. My heart, despite its anguish, had told me what to do and who could help me. And he had been there waiting for me when I crawled out. Breandan’s touch was as soothing as the sun’s virgin light on my skin. He had held me in his arms – when I would let him – and let me wander around the fairy Wyld when I had needed space to move.

In my heart, I knew who was right for me despite the fact I craved the love of another.

Crouching, I rested my temple on a root and dragged my fingers, tipped with talons, along the bumpy surface.

“I have to go. I know you’ll follow me when you wake, so be careful. Just ... don’t do anything foolish, okay?” I knew Tomas couldn’t hear me, but saying the words out loud made me feel better. “I will help you, Tomas. Give me time and I’ll find away to help you and your Nest.”

Breandan came up behind me and pressed his legs into my back. “We must go if we are to have any chance of catching Devlin.”

Standing, I patted the tomb once before turning my back on it. “Conall?”

“I am here, little sister.”

My brother stepped into the clearing, geared up and ready. He glowed, brighter than any other I had seen, except when Breandan and I suffered the effects of our bond. Conall was beautiful, a face of hard angles and smooth planes. His eyes were gold, a family trait it seemed since mine were the same only lighter. His long hair was pulled into a low ponytail that reached the middle of his broad back. In leather pants and soft-soled boots like Breandan he was always topless, and bore sword – latched to his back by a thick leather strap that ran across his torso.

“Devlin will not make this hunt easy,” he rumbled. “The High Lord is cunning and most dangerous when prepared. Devlin will head to the sea fairies at the tip of the region. They have always been sympathetic to his cause. We must reach him before he reaches them. We must travel well out of the way of the Temple and slip through the shifter Pride. I do not think he will be foolish enough but he may try to cut through the outskirts of the vampire city. Pray he does not.” Conall focused solely on me. “Rae, if you become tired tell me. If you think you hear, see, or feel something wrong tell me. If you need to eat or drink tell me. If–”

“If I breathe too loud tell you,” I said cheekily and rolled my eyes at him. “I get it. Tell you everything.”

He nodded once. “And try to keep up.” Moving around me he touched my shoulder briefly then broke out into a swift run, blurring into the distance forcing me to use my fairy sight to see him before Breandan nudged me and I took off behind him.

For most of the day there was the gloomy, damp forest, my ragged inhalation as I struggled for breath, and the footfalls of the one who called himself my life-mate as he raced beside me. I ran through the forest teeming with life, yet all hushed reverently as we blazed past, in awe of us, in fear. Shaking my head at how my life had changed, I sped up leaving Breandan a pace behind so we ran single file, Conall in the lead. The air was overly crisp on my skin signaling the coming winter and the last of the sun’s rays were sluggish.

Devlin was less than half a day ahead, and his trail was erratic. Appearing unexpectedly then becoming deceptively faint, or weaving in odd directions. He was trying to throw us of course and used magics to slow us down so he could escape. Each time I was sure he had changed course Conall had disagreed and pointed out the way. At times we stopped for him to read the trails, listen to the wind, and press his ear to the earth.

It had not taken us long to pass out of fairy territory, and I knew the moment we did. There was a subtle change in the air as we ran, a cool ripple rolling over my skin, and a bubble of pressure popping as if we had broken through a containment of some kind. Rather than a crisp sweetness, the scents of the forest became harsh and syrupy. My nature sulked at the loss of connection with Wyld land. The forest close to the human Temple side of fairyland was bright and spacious with an orgy of vivid evergreen flowers and shrubs. But as we passed out the other side of fairy territory the plant life dulled, became mundane, and the thick glossy leaves withered into spindly brown spokes. The evergreen trees – bases covered in bright yellow lichen – were twisted into tortured formations. Bark lice and rotten fungi spiraled up devouring the dead bark. Silken webbing from the lice hung from the tree branches in wispy clumps, and when I batted some out of my way the secretion stuck to my fingertips. The dense canopy swooped lower, blocking out the light until everything took on the electric blue tinge my fairy sight used to see in the dark. This part of the forest had not seen care in some time, and when I sent a nauseated look at Breandan his responding look was sad.

The decayed smells of the trees faded. The wild, spicy smell of animal reached me before it became clear we had passed into the shifter’s Pride. The air was heavy with hints of hay and soil. The trees thinned, became clumps of bushy shrubbery then the tree line disappeared, and my eyebrows vanished into my hairline. Grass swelled up to my chest and flowed outward, rippling, causing the land to undulate in the wind. Gray clouds with black underbellies drifted sluggishly across the dusky blue sky.

As my feet took their first steps into the meadow the grass blades bent and fanned down, crushed beneath the soles of my feet. Cool mud squelched between my toes and made a horrible sucking sound when I pulled them free.

The absence of other footfalls beside me had me abruptly aware the other two had stopped running, and I was blazing ahead alone. Cursing the gods, I slowed to a speed a human could follow, and curved round to double back.

I stopped dead as a feeling of foreboding ran across the crown of my head in prickly tingles. Was someone close? I reached out with my developing sixth sense to see if any auras were nearby, and a large shadow engulfed my own.

Rough, calloused hands closed around my neck.

Instinctively, my wings spread, but were hindered by a pair of muscled arms. I tried to use my tail to beat at whoever had a hold on me, but I could not get a proper swipe in. The meaty fingers locked around my neck tightened. I could not breathe. I opened my mouth and tried to inhale. My lungs burned, and blood rushed to my brain. Feeling pressure building behind my eyeballs, I did the one thing you should never do; I panicked and tried to scream. The remainder of air left my lungs, and my attacker squeezed my throat tighter. My vision blinkered and impulsively I reached for the Source; the silo of energy that was nowhere and everywhere, and mine to command. The power I called to me in a panic slipped through my grasping fingers.

The next time my eyes fluttered open, I was disorientated, and I was on my back when a moment ago I had been upright.

My eyelids fought to lower. I caught flashes of a bushy beard, a large chin, a chunky neck, and huge shoulders. A heavy hand held my shoulder down. I pushed against it, and the mouth above the bushy chin cursed.

I dragged my eyes fully open and tried to scream. Nothing but hoarse squeak came out. I struggled and licked my legs. He was so heavy. I tried to reach for the Source again, but my terror was too great. It filled me but I could not think what to do with it. All I could think was ‘help’! The man above me smelt like stale sweat and bog water … warm animal. A shifter? His breath was bitter, like rotting flesh. He grinned when I struggled. He leaned over and licked from the base of my neck to my temple. His tongue was rough, like sand had been pressed into it, and I squirmed at the saliva that burned my skin as it trickled down my neck into my hair.

I bucked, twisted, and clawed at him. I would fight my way out of this. I knew soon I would become too tired to move, but I could not just lie there. Behind my closed lids I saw Lex, bound and tortured, watching as Devlin and his fairy mate abused her body. The horrific memory gave me a last surge of strength to fight harder.

There was a loud crack and the body on top of me went limp, crushing me. His heavy weight lifted off me, and I heard a loud crash, as if a tree had snapped in half and fallen. I blinked up into darkening sky. Shaken. There was a horrible crunching sound nearby, and a short, sharp wail of pain.

I rolled onto all fours and crawled away through the grass, the mud slicking my palms and knees as I quietly scrambled forward.

Someone grabbed my ankle.

The touch was like a wave of peace over my entire body, and I scuttled round to launch myself into his arms. Breandan held me close to him, arms tight around my waist, and buried his head in my neck, his breath ragged.

My eyes skipped over the tips the grass, looking for the bearded man. Two bounds away he lay in broken mess. His hands and feet had changed into tawny colored paws with brown claws, and his face had elongated. Two dark triangles, ears, had moved to the top of his head with wispy tufts of hair sticking off the edges. A stumpy tail peeked out from his bottom. It was a grotesque blend of man and beast.

Conall stood over the dead shifter, looking down impassively. Blood was smeared over his hands. He glanced over at me, frowned when he saw me in Breandan’s arms. “He will never hurt you again,” he said bluntly.

That was an understatement, but I nodded once in thanks. He missed it since he looked away from us, expression unhappy.

Breandan leaned away to run his hands over my neck. I winced. It hurt, a lot. We healed fast and I could guess the bruising was already a rainbow of color. When after a few seconds it did not feel any better I rasped, “Why is it not healing?”

“Bruising is not a fatal wound, and the skin is not broken. This is new to you so you will not feel the difference, but your body can become exhausted to the point of death if you are not careful. Using magic is stressful on your mind and body, as is healing. Where it can your body will conserve its resources. Since the–” His jaw clenched. “Since the shifter’s attack, your body is still preparing you for a fight, or to run away. And you have been running all day. Your reserves are not replete.”

“You need to become much more aware of your surroundings,” Conall said chidingly, and nudged the mangled body on the ground with his toe.

Really? He was trying to turn this into a lecture? I made a rude noise. “Honestly, is now the time for a lesson?”

All day he had been throwing confusing sentences and scenarios my way, expecting me to ‘learn’ something from them. He was taking his role as my protector and Elder seriously. I forced myself to feel loved and appreciated rather than smothered and overprotected.

Conall said nothing in response to me, too busy looking the dead shifter over, and the look Breandan gifted me with soon had me shutting up.

The grass surrounding me was primarily shades green, but peppered with grays and browns, and the occasional wild flower with spongy orange petals. The shading of late autumn had swept over the shifters territory, and it was pretty. As far as I could see there was nothing but rolling terrain. The beauty of my surroundings was lost on me as I inhaled slowly and swallowed. My face contorted into a grimace at how much it hurt.

I leaned my head against Breandan’s shoulder then rubbed my cheek into his neck seeking comfort. “I can’t believe he attacked me. Why? And why did you kill him?” I asked Conall who inclined his head at Breandan.

My fairy looked uncomfortable. “Conall did not kill him. I did.” I looked back at my brother who literally had blood on his hands. “Your brother was bitten so I snapped the shifter’s neck. He was Changing, and not submitting to my will.”

The unsaid was that this shifter had hurt me, and it was clear a transgression so great would not go unpunished in Breandan’s eyes. If the situation was reversed, I no had no doubt I would do the same thing in a heartbeat … if it meant his protection.

“This does not bode well,” Conall said his voice dark and mad. “He was clearly a sentry watching for intruders. We will need to make reparation to the Pride he hails from.”

“Another time,” Breandan said.

My trembling stopped and I forced myself to unclamp my hand from around Breandan’s waist and stand. My wings slammed out behind me and my tail cracked from side to side. What had happened that morning had made me moody, and short of temper throughout the day, but this latest experience left me jittery. I plucked leaves from the mess of inky-black that was my hair, and caught Breandan’s scent before he touched me. Sunlight, earth, and rain. He came up behind me and his hands gently rested on my shoulders, squeezed, and then slid down my bared back to pass over my wings. They twitched and fluttered at his touch and I dragged in a shaky breath.

Gods, to fall for someone so hard surely you were bound to break apart. Unravel at the seams because you are undone by how they make you feel.

He continued, lazily wandering to my waist then lower, gripping my hips. I shifted, but instead of backing off he pulled me into him. My heart thumped doubly hard and I sighed when his hands left my hips to gently feel my neck again.

“I’m fine,” I rasped and thumped him lightly on the back of his thigh with my tail.

His fingertips brushed my hair back from my neck then he pressed a kiss to my pulse point. He let me go. “I believe you, but I want you to relax. You’re too tense.”

I slanted a pained look over my shoulder at him. Not sure if admitting he was the main cause of my erratic heartbeat would be sensible. Gods knew what he would do.

“I want this over with,” I mumbled. “I want Devlin dead and I want the book back. No shifter with grabby hands is going to distract me from that. The bruises will heal, eventually.”

He sighed and muttered, “This is not going to end well.”

My brows came together and I twisted round to look him in the face – unsure of what he meant. He glanced at Conall, truly unhappy, and his lips pressed into a thin line. Breandan was unbelievably skilled at controlling his expression to hide his reaction to things, and I had to watch him closely to see if he was mad, pissed, or upset. Judging by how his jaw worked I was going for mad.

“What?” I asked, because it became apparent he had realized something before I had. “What are you not saying? I tried and failed to keep the impatience from my tone. “Why have we stopped?”

I looked to Conall; the mighty warrior strong enough to massacre a small army of his kind. He said nothing at first and I knew it would be a mistake to push him … no one pushed him.

Irritated and grumpy I waited – hand on hip – for my bother to tell us which direction to take. He and Breandan sent each other a series of coded looks and signaled to each other with their hands.

My gaze darted back to the rigid body of the dead shifter, blood pooling beneath his twisted form, and I shuddered at how effortlessly they had ended his life.

“If you two wanted you could grind me into a pulp,” I said thoughtfully. “You’re both warriors yet here you are babysitting me. I’m slowing you down aren’t I?”

They stilled. Abandoning whatever silent conversation they were having and turned to face me. Conall’s face was perplexed. Breandan’s was smooth, emotionless, telling me he was experiencing an intense feeling he did not want me to see.

“Rae,” Conall said slowly. “Do you still not understand who you are?”

“I’m a fairy Priestess.” I said it shyly, knowing he was after more but not wanting to insinuate I was more important than I was. How embarrassing that would be!

My brother shot a look at Breandan who inclined his head then came to stand before me. His heat muddled my brain, made me weak in the knees. I peeked at his face and saw a small smile of the corner of his lips.

“Who am I to you?” he asked.

“Uh, my boyfriend,” I said with conviction, and cleared my throat since my voice was still raspy. “I mean, my steady.” I was proud of myself for I had never said those words before, but when I looked up the smile gathering at the edges of my mouth dropped into a scowl.

Breandan looked horrified. “You are my life mate,” he corrected, “and you belong to me.” Conall made a small noise of protest, but apart from a tightening of the jaw, Breandan did not acknowledge it. “I am your protector. I am faster, stronger, and more resilient to physical injury. More than this, we are bonded, so our connection is fundamental to whom we are. You cannot overpower me and I cannot overcome you, because you too are stronger, faster, and more resilient to physical injury than I.”

I frowned, screwing up my face. “That makes no sense.”

He seemed to be struggling with something. He leaned forward compelling me to do the same. Just shy of our lips touching he paused and hovered there, easing back when I carried on, mindlessly seeking the touch of his skin on mine. Sliding our hands together, he squeezed my fingers and held me still. I could barely breathe and lost brain function to sensation. A tingle ran down my body to the ends of my hair. It collided with a similar disturbance radiating from him. Seeing that I had picked up on this oddity he swayed forward, and my own vibration lessened, became weaker. Felling too submissive I pushed back and felt my vibration grow as his shrank back.

“What one lacks, the other grows to fill,” I murmured.

I was determined not to appear freaked out by what Breandan and I meant to each other anymore, so I smiled then ducked my head down so my hair covered my face as I balked inwardly.

Breandan’s head bobbed from side to side in thought before he nodded. “That is how you stand in relation to me. What you do not seem to realize is that others not connected to you by blood, or magic are far less powerful. Many of our kind cannot touch the Source, though they know it is there, and they can feel it. Magic is to us as air is to breathe–”

“And water to drink,” I finished catching up mentally. Bloody fairies and their bloody jumpy thought patterns.

A finger slid under my chin to tip my head up. Breandan’s gaze darted to Conall who looked away, face stony.

The kiss he pressed to my lips was chaste, soothing, and ended with a wicked nip. Leaning back he hungrily drank me in with his eyes. I trembled.

Conall, however, had a frown of disapproval stamped across his features. In honesty, he was starting to get on my nerves with all the scowling and edgy looks.

“What?” I asked my voice still thick with lust. I cleared my throat lifted my chin then lowered it again when I figured I probably should be trying for meekness not defiance. “Conall, what is it?”

His expression named him thoroughly not impressed. “I think I need to discuss something with you.” No other explanation was forthcoming.

In the heat of my mortification I snapped, “We’re busy.”

“Yes. That is why I need to talk to you. There are certain customs that need observing.”

“I have every intention of showing Rae some of our more pleasurable customs,” Breandan said evenly, but the look he leveled at me had me all but panting.

I inhaled deeply and as I exhaled I said, “I’m ready for a lesson on customs now.”

Breandan cocked an eyebrow. “You wish to learn?”

“Uh, yeah, if you’re the one teaching.”

Conall hissed and strode forward to grab my arm and yank me back. “It is understandable your natures would get the better of you, but Breandan has been raised by the laws of our people, and I know he does not wish to continue dishonoring you so blatantly.”

My fairy-boy winced as if Conall had stuck him a blow. Lowering his head, he broke our mutual get-over-here-and-touch-me stare, and avoided meeting my gaze.

“Forgive me,” he said softly. “Your Elder is right; I shame myself and the beauty of our bond by behaving so.”

My back straightened. Instead of telling Conall to take a hike, my fairy stood there with his eyes on the bloody floor like he would keel over dead if he looked at me.

Conall cleared his throat. “You say you are a fairy a Priestess, and you are wrong. You are the fairy Priestess, there can only be one of you. And though you think the powers you have seen are common place many of our kind are simple folk who will never touch the Source, or be able to move as fast, or be as strong. In time, you will learn our ways. Who we are as a people.”

“They’re normal,” I said feeling a pang of jealousy. “They all get to live normal lives to look to you to keep them safe.”

“They will look to you,” Conall said solemnly. “As we all will.”

If my spine got any stiffer it would snap in half. The pressure and responsibility just kept building, and I was sick of it. I did not want any of this. Hearing it laid out in black and white didn’t make it more real for me, or prepare me for what was expected of me. If anything it felt more like a dream, no, a nightmare from which I could not wake.

A swell of peace I was sure was not my own calmed me. I sighed. Breandan would not be here if this was a nightmare.

“All of that does not change the fact the two of you could wipe the floor with me.” I gave them both pointed looks, daring them to deny it. They knew it was true. Sure, I could fight, but I had seen the way they moved, and there was no way my Disciple training could match it.

Breandan snorted, his head lifting. “You have not been taught to use your body as it was designed. We shall teach you how to harness your power, and no one shall be able to challenge you.” He grinned, dazzling me. “Oh, no one, but me.”

“Not even the High Lord,” Conall murmured. “For the first time we have a Priestess not bound to him.”

“All will be well,” Breandan snapped and shot the older fairy a look of malevolence. “Rae can control herself and she does not need you to smother her.”

I stared at him, wide eyed at the harshness of his tone. Conall did not look too perturbed or offended, simply disinterested.

I narrowed my eyes. I was not the most perceptive of people, but I was not blind either. The undercurrents these two failed so miserably to hide, flowed deep, and would have swept up even the strongest of the disinterested. I knew they had to be feeling the strain of the day before too, after all so much had changed. Breandan had broken away from his brother and was considered an outcast. Conall had butchered several of his kind to give me retribution for Lex’s life. We all had much to shoulder and deal with. I guess I could understand if they were both feeling wound up and were taking it out on each other, but gods did they have to be so rude?

Grumping to myself about bad manners, I moved away and heard them follow me. When I could no longer smell the shifter, I plopped down on the ground figuring the spot was as good as any.

“Let’s get on with it,” I grumped. “Clearly you’re warming up to a lecture and the sooner we do it the sooner we can get moving again.”

We did not have all the time in the world. Devlin would have to stop too, but the fairy High Lord was powerful and tricky. He probably knew I would be slowing his adversaries down, and would use the time to take as far a lead as possible.

Breandan sank down behind me and I studied his face since the corner of his mouth looked suspiciously curved, like he was fighting a smile. I watched out for them since his smiles were so rare and stunning. His laughter was rarer, but when he did express amusement it was more than worth the wait.

Conall stepped lightly to seat himself cross-legged in front of me.

Over the silence was the sound of crickets, and a strong wind that blew through the tall grass, bringing me the earthy scents and smallest sounds of life on the Pride.

I waited patiently for Conall to begin, idly wondering why Breandan was not touching me and why he seemed painfully aware of how much distance there was between us.

“Our birth mother was Sorcha,” my brother began. “Priestess and mate of Nyall the High Lord of all fairykind.”

Already I had to interrupt him. “Don’t we have a family name? I mean, I was given the name Wilder because the Priest who found me thought I was a wild thing.”

My heart squeezed when I thought of the Priests, for then I thought of Temple, and everything I had left behind. I felt like a leaf that was once part of a great oak, captured by the wind and carried away into the unknown. I knew I was destined to go far, but I missed being unseen amongst others like me. I frowned. Was that the problem? That there was no other like me yet I kept seeing myself as ordinary. Unable to understand that I could not think or act as others did because I was supposed to be the one others followed?

“We are fairy,” Conall said as if that would explain everything. “We recognize no other names.”

“But why? I understand there are few of us, but only having a first name seems … incomplete.” I shrugged.

Conall tilted his head thoughtfully. “That is a good way to describe it. Incomplete.” He sighed, something I was beginning to notice he did a lot, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Family names have power so we stopped using them many years ago. We are powerful yet vulnerable in many trivial ways. Nick us with an iron blade and we bleed for days. Feed us the Rowan berry and we become violently ill. Too much and we die unless healed under the full moon. Force an oath of suicide and we’ll cut our own throats or drop dead if we do not comply.” He frowned. “We must be fierce to protect ourselves from those who would hurt us for our trusting nature.”

“It still seems extreme. Why should we feel incomplete in fear of power?”

“There was a time when our family names were secret, and known only to the kin. It was a way to bind us together and keep us strong. In that strength was our greatest weakness.”

Fascinated, learning about the fairy culture – my culture – I urged him on and leaned forward. “Please, go on.”

“You know there has been a bonding before?”

I bobbed my head. “Ana told me, yeah. She said that it didn’t end well.”

At the time I had sensed ‘well’ was a massive understatement, but had not pressed the issue as it had made the white witch agitated. Then again everything made Ana agitated. The term ‘highly strung’ came to mind when I thought of the petite blonde Seer. How she handled her Sight without going completely nuts was beyond me.

Conall looked away, face tightening. “They were consumed by each other and out of control. They were born into two of the larger and more powerful families. They broke with tradition, with sanity, and they....” He was unable to go on.

Breandan stiffened beside me and tension radiated across the space between us. I glanced at him under my lashes and saw his face, plainly upset.

My brother cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “They gave each other their family name.”

My lips twitched but I managed to remain quiet. That was the monstrous thing these two lovers did? For the love of gods, these fairies had melodrama down to a fine art. I tried to keep the laughter from my voice. “And?”

Both boys’ head’s snapped up. The twin expressions of astonishment told me my reaction was way off. I looked between them and shrugged sheepishly.

“She does not understand,” Breandan murmured.

Resting his hands on his knees, Conall opened his mouth then closed it again.

At times, there was a language barrier between these fairies and me. They said things and expected me to simply grasp the significance. There seemed to be two meanings in every sentence, a thousand ways to interpret what was spoken.

It hurt my head.

I focused and tried to work through it, use logic.

Family names held power and were secret. Histrionic and strange, if they’d ask me, but voicing such a thought we only get me in trouble, and I kept it as my own. Fairies breathed tradition. Every five seconds it was tradition this and tradition that. I guess it helped them retain their sense of purpose, of meaning. Just like the belief that every being had a purpose and a destiny – that our lives were set, and it was a matter of time before fate had its way. I wondered what that meant in isolation. Was Lex never meant to die, and was Maeve supposed to be dead in her grave? Was Tomas trying to save a Nest that needed to die out for a greater purpose? Was it time for the human race to fade away into legend?

I could not believe it. I knew the notion of having a purpose made sense, as it attributed to how the Wylds were structured and the royal family determined, and combine that with bloodlines; surely you would create a sovereignty that would stand the test of time.

But I just ... it seemed so ... coincidental. They let their lives and decisions be based on small happenings and signs that could mean and pertain to nothing.

I rubbed my head becoming aware mentally I was off track. Conall was still stumped, and Breandan stared at me in that intense, blink-less way he did when he was trying to see inside my head. He smiled; a small thing that passed over his lips.

I eyed him, rubbing my nose absentmindedly. How odd. It was like he knew I thought of him.

Cocking his head, he grinned broadly.

Frowning at him, I went back to mentally taking apart what I had learned and translating it into something I could understand. The fairies believed names had a physical power, a contextual hold over them. So…. Giving someone your family name meant they had your power? Was that it? Was Conall saying that by giving each other their family name...? “They relinquished complete control to each other,” I said and looked up, ready to be praised for figuring it out by myself. “They gave each other something sacred to prove their love.” Well, by the blank look on their faces I would be waiting a while for all that praise. I sighed. “That would not go down well with their families, I’m guessing.”

“It was seen as punishable by death,” Conall explained.

My eyes got wide. “They were put to death?”

He shook his head again. “They ran, and were found, of course. They too were young, and like I said consumed in each other, unable to think straight or function properly. They were brought back for judgment, after all their bond was clear.” His eyes flicked over Breandan and me. “It is something anyone deeply attuned to magic can sense and feel, unique. There is no faking it.” He sighed heavily, and muttered something to himself too low for me to hear despite my acute hearing. “A bonding is sacred, since you become a living embodiment of the Source. It was agreed it was not up to the High Lord to decide their fate, and so they turned to the spiritual leader. The Priestess. She ordered them separated and kept apart until nature took its course.”

My heart became heavy with grief. “They died alone?”

The wind whipped through the grass as if in lament.

“They took many lives with them, in the end,” Breandan said. “When bonded ones are kept apart the power builds between them. It grows with each passing moment building momentum and force. It is believed if they are kept apart and unable to come together to release the buildup of power that eventually the bond will simply consume them.” He stopped, checking I was following him, measuring my reaction.

I thought on what they were saying and a chilling realization passed over me. “They came together,” I said and wrapped my arms around myself. “Somehow, they managed to come together and the nexus opened.”

Conall nodded sadly. “There were once three Wylds on this region, not two. The Golden Glades was where the royal family reigned. It was destroyed the last time a bonded pair came together and it shook the foundations of what defined us as a people. That love could cause such pain and destruction … it was a reality many struggled to come to terms with.”

I remembered the intense light that had blasted from Breandan’s body and mine when we had finished healing. Conall and Lochlann had fought so save us yet forgotten to ensure that we touched skin to skin. The light that erupted as we did touch, as if his skin had been touched by sunlight, had burned Tomas.

What would happen to a bonded couple separated for a long time – say days – across such a vast distance who came together in a passionate reunion?

The thought was terrifying and exhilarating.

“How?” I whispered. “How could that have happened?”

“It is said the male was guarded by her family and she guarded by his. Such a simple mistake can cause devastation. The Priestess was more concerned with showing mercy than dwelling on the cause of their situation. The bonded female commanded the guard to set her free. And they did – they had no choice.”

My mind boggled by the intricacy of it. How such a small action rocked the foundation of a species and altered a fundamental way of life. The lovers had given each other their family names as a token of devotion, and in one selfish act they shattered the faith of so many. “That’s why you stopped giving them?”

“It was considered best. It was not the only reason, but the beginning of the end. We let the old names of power die and the bonding became seen as a taboo. There are many who would try to hurt you in fear of what you and Breandan share.” The warning in his voice was clear. “Long lost Priestess or not they will try to harm you. If I had known … if the white witch had warned me of what might happen if you were to meet and touch I would never have–”

“Enough,” Breandan said flatly.

My head swung back and forth between them, more than concerned now. They were being openly disrespectful to each other. Breandan ran a hand down my arm and I shuddered. Who knew how many he had killed with those hands. How many he would kill to get back to me if ever we were separated? I knew he was trying to distract me from what I had passed between him and my brother, but it would not work. I could not ask them what was wrong, somehow I knew they would not tell me and would have a mutual agreement to keep it between them. But I would figure it out, oh yes; I would work it all out.

Leaning back on my elbows, I kicked my legs out in front of me to cross them at the ankles. “I understand.”

“This is a good thing. We are beginning to hear each other clearly, little sister.” He looked so proud I swallowed a disagreeing snort. Conall slapped his knees, face lightening, and becoming fair with a beauty I had not known a male could possess. “And now you learn our family history. Our mother was Sorcha. A fairy of such beauty and grace there was nothing she could not have or command from anyone. When I was a boy, I watched our father rule our people when the forests covered the earth. As a young man I watched him keep us safe when the humans built their cities and destroyed our forests.” His voice became thick with emotion. “We learned to blend. To glamour ourselves to look and move like them so we could be safe. We would convene in parks and woodlands to frolic and tend to the nature that was left. Our numbers dwindled and we became myth and legend to a race that once lived with us in harmony.” Conall’s face was tight, strained. “The other races spawned from us were not so amenable to change. They were not content to hide.”

I sat up and blinked. “Wait, spawned?”

Conall shook himself and focused on my face rather than the middle distance. “I am sorry. I forgot you do not know the history of such things. Rae, we all came from one Source.” He cupped his hands together. “At the beginning of all things there were fairies. From them the species diversified. Over the year’s genetic quirks and mutations created whole other species to walk the earth. We loved and guided them, loved them despite the differences, and their lines flourished.”

“That’s why the Priestess guards the balance. Fairies were the first beings.”

Conall nodded. “We are honor and magic bound to take care of this world. It is why we feel so connected to it. To nature.”

I slumped. “Ana told me Sorcha broke the balance. I had hoped she was overreacting.”

Conall bowed his head. “Our family is … we are the only purebloods left from our line. We must fix this.”

He sounded so tired when he said that I crawled forward and placed a hand on his knee. “Must? It’s our choice. We can choose to leave this region. Find a new home.”

He gave me a small smile. “If we do not make our stand here where in the world could we hide? This is our purpose and we shall meet it with pride and courage.”

I leaned back on my heels, plucked at the shorter grass by my sides. “It’s not fair you’re dumping all this responsibility on me. I understand that by blood this Priestess thing was unavoidable, but why can’t I pass my title on to someone more worthy. More … responsible and suitable. Like, abdicate, or something.”

“It does not work that way,” Breandan said. He stared at his hands as if they held answers to all questions. “We are chosen, and we do the best we can with what we are given.”

“I don’t want this,” I said firmly. Biting my lip, I fisted my hands on my knees. Screw it. “What I’m asking is for you both to leave the region with me. We can find a new home.”

I did not look at either of them. Yes, I was ashamed, but I was more afraid of not asking. The power and strength I had felt that morning when I had used the amulet of power that morning was gone. And though I knew what my purpose was, I was terrified of it. How could I do this? I barely knew how I was feeling half the time. I did not think five minutes past my own nose, and more often than not concluded running away was the best way to resolve my problems. Okay, yes, I was getting better at standing and fighting, no doubt if Breandan or Conall was in danger I would give everything I was to save them. It was everything else that worried me. Could I stand and fight on behalf of a race I had yet to come to love?

A finger tapped my chin up. I tried not to cry, and looked away from Breandan’s knowing gaze. I did not want to feel comforted.

“We will be with you,” he said softly.

“To the end,” Conall added.

Their words held so much love yet they gave little comfort.

“Tell me what to do. Please. Point me on the right direction because I’m lost, Conall. I’m sinking and I can’t pull myself out. Something inside me is dead, festering. I can’t reach that place where everything is okay. I see darkness and it kills me.” I closed my eyes. “Lex is dead; she is dead because of me. Maeve nearly died because of me. Breandan nearly died because of me. Why aren’t you seeing a pattern yet?” My voice became angry at the end. “I’m no good at this. I’ll fail.”

Breandan said something in a low voice to my brother. He replied curtly and stood, patted me twice on the head lightly. The gesture was so joyous you would think I’d told him a storm was blowing in.

“All will be well,” he said. He seemed to consider something for a long time then his muscled chest heaved with a sigh. “Rae, the trail has gone cold.”

The abrupt switch in conversation topic had me scrambling around for a moment before my anger bubbled and churned. “You’re lying.” Even as I said the words I flushed, but kept my stare defiant.

Fairies could not lie – except for me, and I had been told eventually even I would be bound to speak nothing but the truth. A fairy’s word once given was law. So my previous statement had been churlish at best.

Conall ignored the comment, flicking his hand through the air as if brushing his hurt aside. “Give me time.” He speared Breandan with a warning glare. “She needs sleep.” Then he was gone.