chapter 5

Drinking: Where & How

To put it mildly, Beer Geeks are ­particular about the beer they drink. They don’t waste time, money, and liver capacity on bad beer, and they put a formidable amount of thought into the beer they consume. But consume they do, and impressively well.

Luckily, the era of having to hunt far and wide for a bar or restaurant with a decent beer list is becoming a thing of the past. Sometimes you can even find good beer at places that used to be beery wastelands, like airports, concert venues, and sporting events. And let’s not forget the magic of the beer festival, where everyday beer drinkers get caught up in the wave of beery amazingness and start down the path to becoming full-fledged Beer Geeks.

Nevertheless, the at-home beer-drinking scene with its bottle shares and blind tastings will always be the domain of hardcore Beer Geeks. Only here can geeks truly geek out — and, say, split a bottle 15 ways before engaging in an adjective-fueled pissing match. Mmm, Hungarian late-­harvest currants . . .

Let the following chapter be your guide to drinking like a Beer Geek, wherever you happen to be.

Bars: Types and Strengths

Beer Geeks are forever seeking craft beer in bars across America. And as craft beers, with their superior flavor (and higher price), slowly become accepted by the masses, the choices are constantly improving.

In most major cities it is no longer unusual to find bars devoted solely to craft beer with nary a BMC on tap,

and Beer Geeks will always search out these establishments.

However, it remains an unfortunate truth that the vast majority of bars still treat craft beer as a hoity-toity afterthought, if they consider it at all. So, when you find yourself faced with the following bar types, use this handy guide to navigate your way through.

Beer bar. Wonderful establishments built by and for Beer Geeks. This is where Beer Geeks can ask annoying questions about a beer’s production size, ingredients, or serving temperature — and get enthusiastic responses rather than confounded, annoyed dismissals. Beers are kept at the proper temperature, tap lines are immaculately clean, the draft list is ever-rotating, and the bottle list includes vintages. If any of these things are not true, it is not a beer bar, and an alternate drinking destination should be considered.

Hipster bar. Typically disguised as a dive bar but easily identified by the presence of vegan baked goods, fixed-gear bicycles, and the wearing of knit hats in the summer. Lovers of everything craft and homegrown, these bars are far from the worst choice and usually have a handful of local options. But don’t expect great things, as the average patron is not looking for much depth in his suds.

College bar. College bars vary greatly depending on locale. Certainly your average college bar in Fort Collins, Colorado, is going to have a superior selection to one in Gainesville, Florida. That said, even in the best of college bars, the taps are going to be limited to the local session offerings (Fat Tire in Fort Collins, for example). Beer Geeks won’t typically frequent such venues, but the saving grace of the college bar is its seeming disregard for the craft beer pricing premium. It is only at these establishments that blanket specials like $2 beers or 2-for-1 pints are offered regardless of the chosen beer. A Beer Geek never turns down a $5 pitcher of Odell’s IPA.

Sports bar. A large category ranging from the cleavage chains to the ubiquitous strip mall locale. Many Beer Geeks have a shared love of sporting events and beer and will therefore find themselves at such establishments frequently. While no limited release or specialty tap beers will be available, most places have a decent craft selection. However, be wary that glass sizes usually come in either the ridiculous “large” (25+ oz.) or the more appropriate “small” (12 to 16 oz.) sizes. Beer Geeks, with their understanding of how beer flavors change as a beer warms, always order the appropriate size.

Also, beware that this is the favorite hiding spot of the dreaded frosted mug.

Brewpub. A very large contingent but also a slowly shrinking one. In the ’90s, when people were still unwilling to spend a large premium on well-crafted beers, new brewers felt compelled to offer full food service to help pay the bills. But in today’s brave new beer world, the sky is seemingly the limit as to what the public is willing to pay for a pint, and brewers now easily cover the mortgage on beer alone. Most brewpubs still around are holdovers from the old era and typically known as restaurants rather than breweries. Beers are usually limited to the omnipresent WASP selection (Wheat, Amber, Stout, Pale) and are all too forgettable.

Faux Irish/British pub. Decades ago, these cookie-cutter pubs were the only salvation of pioneering Beer Geeks. This was back when the tiny bit of flavor found in the three or four factory-brewed UK/Irish options were a welcome alternative to, well, the complete lack of flavor found in American factory-brewed beer.

Nowadays, having Guinness on tap impresses nobody,

and only a fraction of these bars have embraced craft beer. In general, the majority should be avoided, or at least not sought out for any kind of real beer selection. If you find yourself in such an establishment, inquire if they have any Chimay Red, which for some odd reason always seems to have squirreled its way into these places.

Airport bar. Typically the domain of sugary sweet, terrifyingly neon cocktails; beer options are often very limited. There is BMC of course, and the ubiquitous Samuel Adams Boston Lager (it’s apparently an FAA violation to operate an airport bar without it). You may even be lucky enough to find the blandest offering from the largest local craft brewery, but that’s about all a Beer Geek can hope for. In other words, grim stuff. There are a few exceptions, though, and the best approach to locating these establishments is to search the BeerAdvocate.com forums, as the question has been answered by the locals for just about every major US airport. Look for brewery tap houses, especially in beer-loving regions (Rocky Mountains, Pacific Northwest), but don’t get too excited, as most only offer their flagship lineup (I’m looking at you, New Belgium Hub). If all else fails, you can sometimes find decent options at higher-end food establishments.

Hotel bar. A similar situation to the airport bar, as far as selection goes. In reality, though, most Beer Geeks rarely experience the hotel bar, since they are presumably traveling to a city with a different regional distribution than their home area. This means they will instead be at a local beer bar trying out new beers, or in their hotel room, drinking beer that they scored at the local bottle shop (and couldn’t fit in their luggage).

Redneck bar. Drink bourbon.

Dive bar. When considering dive bars (real dive bars, not the hip imitations), choices are about as slim as it gets. Craft options are nonexistent and inquiring after them will usually only earn you an icy stare.

A Beer Geek finding himself at a dive bar uses it as a good excuse to become reacquainted with BMC, if only to remind himself why he might spend $20 on a bottle of good beer.

Nightclub. Leave. If bound and chained, drink scotch.

Brewery Taprooms and Tours: Yet Another Mash Tun

Beer Geeks naturally gravitate toward breweries. A powerful siren call draws them in with the promise of beer fresh from the source and the possibility of taproom-exclusive brews. However, there aren’t a lot of other reasons for a Beer Geek to visit a brewery. In almost all circumstances, engaging in brewery tours or drinking beers from their normal lineup are activities considered the domain of tourists and noobs.

Standard beers that are normally distributed should be avoided at all costs, as drinking these would defeat the purpose of visiting the brewery. When choosing a beer at a brewery taproom it is imperative that a Beer Geek identify and order the rarest offering available. Well-respected breweries recognize this and have a variety of taproom exclusives on hand at all times. The notable exceptions to this rarity rule are hoppy beers. Given the fleeting nature of hops, incredibly fresh (days-old) versions of IPAs are unique to the same (but less fresh) IPAs bought in a liquor store, making them taproom exclusives in essence, even if their less-fresh versions are not particularly rare.

As for brewery tours, though they may seem appealing in theory, you will quickly discover that almost all of them consist of 20 to 30 minutes of viewing large conical metal structures. As a rule, tours are led by the employee with the least amount of knowledge of the brewery’s beer and brewing practices. Participants often see the tour as the perfect opportunity to regale tour mates of the tales of the time they “got so drunk off [insert brewery’s flagship beer] . . .” and did something really dumb. The token homebrewer is a familiar fixture on such tours and, in an effort to ensure the entire group grasps the depth of his brewing knowledge, constantly badgers the unaware tour guide over the technical details of the various conical metal structures.

The Beer Geek knows the best use of the brewery tour is solely to remove the riffraff from the taproom, if only for a short while.

Non-Distributing Neighborhood Breweries

The last couple of years have seen the emergence of a new breed of brewery that relies solely on on-premises sales. These breweries are often homebrewers-turned-pro enterprises that specialize in everyday drinkable offerings very similar to what was seen in the ’90s brewpubs: amber, wheat, pale, stout. They typically have no plans to grow much beyond being a neighborhood pub and are content with these run-of-the-mill selections. Beer Geeks appreciate and sometimes frequent these establishments but spend little time thinking about or promoting such ventures. There certainly are some notable exceptions, such as Peg’s Cantina in Gulfport, Florida, known for creating world-class barrel-aged stouts.

Restaurants: Drinking Beer with the Kiddos

Beer Geeks require beer. And they’re human, so they require food too. Therefore, it’s inevitable that the two needs will cross paths and some beer drinking will occur at restaurants. And for Beer Geeks who have begun raising a brood of future Beer Geeks, finding a family restaurant that serves good beer may be their only chance to get out into the world of draft beer and taste the latest and greatest trends.

While a tiny handful of restaurants have long given beer its due, it’s only more recently that restaurants countrywide have begun to see the light. For older restaurants, the timeworn standard of five rather sorry options (three of which are BMC) is slowly falling to the wayside, and many now have the same number of beer options as wine. Quite a few newer restaurants are wisely putting considerable effort into catering to the ever-growing (and demanding) Beer Geek Nation.

This change comes out of a hard-fought and long-waged battle on the part of elder Beer Geeks who refused to be limited to enjoying quality craft beer only at a bar. Because they incessantly inquired after decent beer choices and refused to settle for factory-made lagers, we are now able to partake of craft beer while enjoying a good meal at a restaurant. That said, there is still some distance to go, and even more so when it comes to the knowledge of the waitstaff.

An incredible tap list is useless if consumers can’t find anyone to inform them about it.

In this awkward teenage love affair between restaurant owners and craft beer, navigating the restaurant beer list brings up a whole new host of issues . . .

The Server

While a bartender typically takes a standoffish approach to your beer selection, servers are often much more proactive. They see this as their opportunity to blow your assumedly feeble mind with their imposing beer knowledge. While this is not such a bad thing if you have an informed server, informed servers are unfortunately very few and far between. (Note: A Beer Geek always thanks and tips these rare servers handsomely.)

Instead, inquiring patrons are often offered such gems as:

It’s brewed with Cascade hops to give it a bourbon-like flavor.

Or, when asked about the style of a beer,

It’s an ale, so it’s between a craft beer and a lager.

Or the ever-enlightening,

It’s a microbrew, so it’s kind of like an IPA.

While dealing with this kind of server can sometimes be taxing, the apathetic alternative is much worse. Annoyed by your audacity in wanting to know what beers are available, these servers will often only mention the few BMC options they’ve heard of. When asked about the other taps/bottles (in plain view at the bar), their bewildered reply is:

Oh, those are microbrews. I’d have to try and find a bartender to see what they are.

Which is then followed by an awkward pause as they silently dare you to ask them to do just that.

The Menu

Since most restaurants are not in the habit of changing their menu daily or weekly, they have a difficult time conveying the beer selection to the consumer. Ideally they would have a regularly updated separate menu, but many places take one of the following approaches instead:

• A chalkboard above the bar listing all available options, requiring you to get up and awkwardly peer over a bar occupant’s shoulders. Given the impeccable artistry put into the chalking, the board is frequently out of date. No good.
• Usage of vague menu placeholders like “Seasonal Tap” or “Rotating Selection.” This approach has led many non–Beer Geeks across the country to think that Seasonal or Rotating is actually a beer style. (“Have you had that Sweetwater Seasonal? It’s amazing.”) It is a clear indicator that the establishment does not give much consideration to beer and is a disservice to breweries and craft-beer drinkers alike.
• No menu at all, instead relying on the server to memorize the options. Tap list inquiries are usually met with the ever-infuriating, “What kinds of beer do you like?” (Imagine having to ask what is on the “food menu” and being asked the same thing.) The next step is for the server to rattle off a long, rhythmic chant of all the beer selections (a miserable experience for patrons and servers alike). If the chant starts with them looking at the ceiling and uttering the words “Bud, Bud Light, Coors, Coors Light . . . ,” it’s a Beer Geek’s cue to order water or bourbon.

If you run into a less-than-ideal server, improve your chances of landing a decent beer by visiting the bar itself, inquiring with the bartender, and peeking at any glass-fronted fridges. When you run into a great server, queries about “off-the-menu” or “just tapped” beers can often result in some pleasant surprises.

The Pairing

Simply put, a great beer restaurant has a great beer list. But only those in the highest echelon of Beer Geek restaurants go the extra step and thoughtfully pair beers with food dishes. These prized locales often suggest beers with each dish (many have beer sommeliers to guide diners in their pairings), and it is quite normal for beer to be used in the cooking process.

However, these restaurants are extremely rare (mmmm, rare), and Beer Geeks must always beware those that blindly offer pairing suggestions with seeming randomness (e.g., Shock Top Honeycrisp Apple Wheat with the baked mac ’n’ cheese). Likewise, some restaurants will use beer in the cooking of a dish just for the sake of mentioning it on the menu — a dangerous practice, as hop bitterness presents culinary challenges to the uninitiated.

A Beer Geek knows the general ins and outs of food and beer pairings and can easily spot such ruses (which most commonly occur at ’90s-era brewpubs).

The Basics of Beer and Food Pairing

While the rest of the world assumes that a meal is always paired with wine, Beer Geeks understand that beer — with its vast range of flavors and aromas, as well as the palate-cleansing advantages of carbonation — is actually the ultimate pairing beverage. Entire books have been written on the subject of pairing food with beer. While it may initially seem a daunting subject to learn, a bit of inspection reveals that there are really just a few general rules that guide most pairing decisions.

It is vital for Beer Geeks to know these rules, as they must be able to apply them not only for their own benefit but, more importantly, to help turn the uninitiated on to good beer. For many a non–beer drinker the idea of beer is still the BMC they shotgunned in college, but a well-paired beer with a meal can often provide the light-bulb moment that leads to becoming a Beer Geek.

Even a Beer Geek’s beer-drinking friends will lean on them for suggestions when presented with an overwhelming list of choices at a beer-centric restaurant. This is an important task that requires preparation.

Food and Beer Pairing Guidelines to Win Friends and Influence People

1. 1. Go the harmonizing route: Pair a beer’s dominant flavors with those of the food. Pair a dark-roasted stout with dark Belgian chocolate, or use the saaz hop–induced spiciness of a Czech pilsner to bring out the heat of a Thai noodle bowl.
2. 2. Or go the contrast route: An equally accepted method that instead uses the central characteristic of a beer to contrast with the food. For example, use the acidity of a gueuze to cut through the rich creaminess of a soft sheep’s milk cheese, or tame the umami richness of bacon with the roasted bitterness of a coffee stout.
3. 3. Always match strength with strength: Be it hop bitterness, alcohol strength, or acidity, it is important to match that characteristic with the dominant aspect of a meal. The subtleties of a kolsch are best paired with a light vinaigrette salad, while the intense hop bitterness of a DIPA can go toe to toe with the strong tanginess of an aged blue cheese.
4. 4. Confidence is key: In the end, astute Beer Geeks are well aware that these first three guidelines cover all manner of sins, making it possible to have a basis to pair almost any beer with any food. It’s all about picking a guideline and sticking to your choice with confidence. Luckily, beer and food pair so well together it’s hard to go wrong.

Beer Festivals: Geeking Amidst the Debauchery

Beer festivals, when done right, are the ultimate experience for Beer Geeks. They offer the opportunity to try new beers, connect with fellow Beer Geeks, and network with brewers and brewery reps. And the ability to try a massive number of beers while still maintaining one’s geekiness is an art that must be mastered by every Beer Geek.

There are a lot of great festivals out there, but more recently a lot of not-so-great festivals have appeared on the scene too. What used to be mostly the domain of Beer Geeks has since become one of the most popular kinds of events in the United States. While this is great for helping to spread the beer gospel, it has also led to an overall decline in the quality of beers that breweries bring to festivals, since brewers have had to become much choosier about where they send their exciting limited-release beers. Look to these festival types for a good chance of Beer Geek success:

• Brewery Festivals Highly Regarded by Beer Geeks

  Larger breweries often have festivals on their grounds once a year, or to celebrate an anniversary. Beer selections are bountiful and include vintage offerings, barrel-aged variations, and one-off specialties. These events offer great opportunities to meet brewers and brewery reps, and they’re usually very reasonably priced.

• Bar Festivals Top Tier

  It’s rather uncommon given the logistical challenges, but beercentric bars will sometimes have festivals on-location. These festivals are usually exceptional, since the organizing bars do the beer purchasing and therefore choose only the best (plus, they are organized by industry Beer Geeks). Notable examples are the Delilah’s Vintage Strong Beer Fest in Chicago, Ebenezer’s Belgian Beer Festival in Maine, and the Toronado Barleywine Festival in San Francisco.

• Invitational Festivals Beer Geek Heaven

  Invitationals tend to be collaborative efforts between various brewers looking to showcase their talents. The fact that it gives them a tax-deductible excuse to fraternize is mere coincidence. Contrary to most fests, the actual brewers are usually pouring the beer, and offerings are typically excellent. Notable examples are What the Funk in Denver, Culmination in Anchorage, Extreme Beer Fest in Boston, and the Firestone Walker Invitational in Paso Robles.

• The Great American Beer Festival (GABF) In a Category by Itself

  Held every year in Denver in a space that could fit multiple Costcos, this festival boasts brewery numbers hovering around a mindboggling 700. Beer Snobs consider it overdone and lament about how it was in their day, but Beer Geeks know better. This is a highly advanced festival that requires careful preparation, strategizing, and training. A mandatory check box on a Beer Geek’s bucket list.

Steps for Optimizing the Festival Experience

1. 1. When considering attending a festival, Beer Geeks begin by researching the festival’s list of participating breweries (serious festivals also include a list of beers to be poured). They will then assemble a list of beers of interest and make a quick mental calculation to determine the value of each beer (based on what it would cost to purchase or trade for them). If the value of the beer exceeds that of the ticket price, a Beer Geek will attend. If there are out-of-distribution DONGs on the list, festival attendance is a no-brainer.
2. 2. Once it’s been decided that the festival is worth attending, a Beer Geek will assemble a group of fellow Beer Geeks, numbering no greater than eight, to go together. Any larger and the group is too cumbersome to accommodate serious tasting.
3. 3. For large festivals, a strategizing session is held among the fellowship of Beer Geeks to create a prioritized list of breweries to hit once inside. Popular breweries will be hit hard at the onset, since it is not unusual for rare selections to run out in even the first hour. Breweries such as these make up the priority list.
4. 4. Beer Geeks always arrive at the festival with a full stomach, preferably of cheese or other fatty foods, slowing alcohol absorption to maximize allowable intake.
5. 5. Once inside, the priority list is executed. The tasting format is often limited to 1- or 2-oz. samples. When sampling breweries have a line, a Beer Geek never camps out at the front in an attempt to sample multiple beers. This is a classic noob move and goes against all Beer Geek etiquette. Once you get your sample, head immediately to the end of the line to get another sample. Time is of the essence.
6. 6. Fraternizing can fully commence once the priority list has been addressed. At this point, the tasting should move to “free-form format” based upon suggestions from fellow Beer Geeks. It is now okay to talk with brewers and brewery reps, since by this point all festival attendees have had ample opportunity to sample their top beers.
7. 7. As the festival winds down, the Beer Geeks quickly become distinguishable from the posers. While Beer Geeks might certainly get drunk at a festival (there can be a lot of beers to sample, after all), they don’t go there with the primary intention of getting drunk. At this stage, non–Beer Geeks begin flinging coasters, knocking their buddy’s glass out of his hand, and stealing every bit of brewery schwag not nailed down. Beer Geeks, having properly trained for the event, maintain (some) composure.
8. 8. Once last call goes out, a Beer Geek, knowing full well that the remaining samples being poured aren’t any Gold Medal winners, heads out to grab a cab or a bite, leaving the frat pack to do shots of every beer left standing.

Hosting a Beer Tasting . . . with Style and Grace

A critical skill for a Beer Geek to learn is how to flawlessly pull off a beer tasting. For a tasting to be successful, it must be presented as a low-key affair (we’re Beer Geeks, not wine snobs) but also provide a very serious lineup of offerings. These two competing elements require a precarious balancing act.

When planning a beer tasting, a Beer Geek must seriously consider the following:

Marquee bottle. The typical reason to host a beer tasting is to have an excuse to open a very special beer or collection of beers. It isn’t essential, but a host is expected to have at least a few very VIP beers to open. A host should always strive not be outdone by his guests’ beers, while a guest should attempt to bring a beer approaching, yet not exceeding, the quality of the host’s marquee beer(s).

Bottle share. While a Beer Geek may sometimes provide all or most of the beer (typically to make room in the cellar), more often than not, guests are also expected to bring beer to share.

Invite list. The level of a guest’s geekiness should be appropriate to the beers being poured. Guests selected should be able to appreciate the rarity and specialness of the marquee bottle(s).

Theme. A tasting needs direction and should therefore have a central theme. Be it a style (barrel-aged imperial stouts), a brewery, or a level of rarity, a theme provides cohesiveness and flow.

The invitation. The invitation should clearly convey that the event is a beertasting. While a BBQ or ugly sweater theme could be combined with the tasting, it is important that invitees understand that the foremost activity will be tasting and analyzing world-class beers. Having a party of another kind and attempting to simultaneously hold a beer tasting is a disservice to the beer. Spouses and significant others should always be invited (no need to make being a Beer Geek more difficult). However, if the significant other is not a Beer Geek, he or she should understand that this is a tasting and not mock the event or complain of boredom. Finally, the invitation should clearly state the serving format as well as the quantity, caliber, and style of beers that guests are expected to bring.

Opening Method and Serving Format

While serving beer at a tasting may seem simple, much thought should be given to determine the ideal serving format. Consider the type of beer as well as the crowd, and choose from the following formats:

Pass the Bottle. The most common, but one of the most inefficient serving methods. The group sits around a table, and bottles are opened and passed around for everyone to fill his or her glass. A key disadvantage is that the group can imbibe only as fast as the slowest drinker, creating party-stalling issues. To be avoided.

Vertical. The opening of sequential vintages of the same beer. Usually, three years are opened at once to sustain a relatively constant serving temperature for comparison purposes. Each vintage should be provided with a separate glass, and all glassware should be similar, again for comparison purposes. Hosting a vertical tasting speaks to one’s long-term dedication as a Beer Geek, though it can be a bit bittersweet for the host after the years of preparation.

Blind Tasting. Various beers of the same style are served without the tasters knowing what they are drinking. Generally unpopular with Beer Geeks, as it diminishes the flavor of rarity. Ideally, the pouring should be done by teetotaling or pregnant attendees (so that all participants can be “blind”) but is otherwise the responsibility of the host. A blind tasting is often done in the hopes of proving that a Beer Geek’s local option can go toe-to-toe with the big guns of the national scene. If successful, a social media campaign is launched by attendees to inform the world of the results (refer to The Great Hype Machine).

Table Tasting. The standard Beer Geek tasting approach. Various bottles are opened concurrently (quantity dependent on strength of beer and number of tasters) and placed on a table. Attendees can sample at will, and the host opens new beers as bottles are finished. This classic format accommodates varying drinking rates, preferences, and pour sizes.

Me First. Essentially the same as table tasting except that bottles are opened by the person who brought them. The bottle’s owner first serves himself and then puts the remainder of the bottle on the share table. This method generally encourages tasters to bring higher-quality beer, since they won’t be afraid of getting just a few ounces of their personal whale.

High Roller (or McAfee). Another variation of table tasting with the key addition of a timer. Table tasting can often get stalled by beers that no one wants to finish. In a high-roller tasting, the bottle is opened, and a timer is set (usually for 30 minutes). Any beer left unfinished when the timer goes off is poured down the drain, and a new set of bottles is opened. The timer is restarted, and the process begins again. While this may seem wasteful, in reality, little beer ends up being poured out since the tasters are aware of its impending fate.

Random-Ass Opening. The worst kind of opening method, which results when there is a lack of direction. Bottles are opened at random, at random times, and by random people. Many beers are not finished, and many tasters leave disappointed because they missed out on beers they had wanted to try. The domain of noobs.

The Perfect Host

Now that you have planned the perfect tasting, don’t forget to be the perfect host. During the tasting, be sure to keep the following in mind to ensure those lovely beers get their due:

Settling time. Many beers (lambics and vintage beers) often have a collection of sediment in the bottom of the bottle, particularly if they have been laid on their side. Allow at least a few hours for these beers to settle after they are purchased or brought from the cellar. If being served from a lambic basket, the beers should be allowed to settle in the basket.

Temperature. Beers that have spent extended time in the fridge need time to warm to proper serving temperature prior to serving. Likewise, beers that warmed on the journey to the tasting must be given time to cool. Be sure to allot adequate space in the refrigerator.

Refrigerator contents. Beer not intended for consumption at the tasting should be removed from the refrigerator to avoid confusion. However, top-tier beers should be prominently displayed (and readily opened) to show the caliber of one’s cellar.

Pace. You are responsible for the pace of the tasting. While drunken-pirate speed isn’t necessary, it should be quick enough so that no one is ever wanting for a new beer.

Finally, as the tasting winds down, the host ensures that everyone has a ride home and cabs are called as necessary. After the last guest leaves, all empty bottles are lined up on the tasting table, and a picture is posted to Facebook to inform the world that the greatest tasting ever has just occurred.