12
“I have reviewed many things in my mind,” the Ruler started as soon as Machokali, Kaniürü, and Sikiokuu were brought before him, “and I now know the identity of the real enemy of the country. But in order for me to wage an effective fight against this enemy, there are a few things I want to straighten out. Sikiokuu?”
“Your Mighty Excellency?”
“When I summoned you here, what did I tell you? That when I was in America I was informed that there are people going around the country preaching the virtues of queuing in my name. I was also told about women beating up their menfolk in accordance with the judgment of some sort of people’s court. So far you have said nothing about these matters. You told me that you stationed M5S all over the country. So are there other men, apart from Tajirika, who have been tried and beaten up by this female people’s court?”
Sikiokuu did not know if the Ruler knew something that he did not know. So he was not sure what was most prudent to say: yes or no. He tried to evade the question.
“Your Mighty Excellency, if you have read the two reports that—”
“They say nothing about the matters at hand,” the Ruler said curtly.
“Our Mighty Excellency, there are many security issues that require only your ears and mine,” said Sikiokuu, tugging at his ear-lobes. “There are some among us here who cannot be trusted with any secrets,” he added, his eyes darting at Kaniürü.
“Like whom?”
“Let me speak frankly. Like Kaniürü.”
“But you trusted him enough to recommend him to me as chairman of the Commission of Inquiry into the Origins of the Queuing Mania?”
“Yes, Your Mighty Excellency, but—”
“And you trusted him well enough to order him to look into the people’s court?”
“Yes, Your Mighty Excellency, but—”
“And you trust his report sufficiently to ask me whether I had read it?”
“Yes, no, but—”
“But what?” scoffed the Ruler as he turned his eyes to the others. “I want to expand the Directorate of Security Services, DSS, currently led by the Minister of State in the Office of the Ruler, Silver Sikiokuu, and create within it a subdepartment, or a special unit, in charge of Youth and Women Affairs. Many a government in the world has been brought to ruin because it had been lax and allowed students, youth, and women to say and do whatever without proper guidance and supervision. The sole responsibility of the unit I am now creating is to oversee the activities of these segments of the population. John Kaniürü, stand up. You have proven that you can be trusted to organize youth and be tough with women, even the wives of the rich and the powerful. Effective today, you are Head of Research Regarding Youth and Women’s Conformity with National Ideals. Your main task is to continue to investigate and combat any manifestations of the queuing mania and to investigate and put an end to this domestic violence against men. ASS Kahiga will assist you in organizing an effective system of surveillance.”
Kaniürü pranced about in joy and disbelief. Kahiga did not know whether to follow Kaniürü’s example and jump up and down, elated, or risk seeming ungrateful by remaining seated. For a second or two Peter Kahiga was unable to figure out what he had actually heard. He had been referred to as ASS, whereas before today he had only one S. Now two and an A to boot. Should he ask the Ruler to clarify his honorific? His uncertainty disappeared with the Ruler’s next words.
“I want the leaders of rebellious youth and women to be crushed like ants, and I don’t think this should pose a problem to Assistant Senior Superintendent Peter Kahiga.”
Kahiga felt his heart skip a beat. The other wizard had yet to seek retribution. For now he was safe and felt joy in his heart. He now rose and ran a lap of victory around the room. The Ruler gestured for Kaniürü and Kahiga to resume their positions, and he told them that the State House was not an athletic field, that they should remember that they were in Aburlria, that if they wanted to be runners they should emigrate to Kenya or Ethiopia.
“May I say a word,” Sikiokuu said, stung by the promotion of this traitor. “You asked me about queues and the queuing mania. Since you banned the mania, queues have not come back. I am confident when I say that the queues are practically gone. In addition, I have already lined up people to report to me should there be a resurgence of the mania anywhere in Aburlria,” he added, hoping that further inquiry into the queuing mania would be denied as a mandate to the proposed unit.
“So if I hear that the queuing mania has resurfaced, I will have heard lies?” asked the Ruler.
“Well, not lies, but misinformation,” said Sikiokuu. “I can say that whoever were to tell you this would not be in possession of all the facts, and he should have checked with me. Some people will say anything to get promoted,” he added, glancing at Kaniürü, who he assumed had lied yet again.
As the Ruler still resented the way the Global Bankers had condescended to him as if they knew more about his own country than he did, he did not mind hearing Sikiokuu’s reassurance, though his suspicions about the motives of the Global Bank in urging him to return home increased.
“You have done well to contain the queuing mania,” said the Ruler, “but this does not mean that we should become any less vigilant. What do the English say? The price of internal vigilance is freedom.”
“Thank you, Your Mighty Excellency, for your faith in my abilities,” said Sikiokuu, though he was sure that the Ruler had jumbled the words of the English proverb.
“Yes, Sikiokuu, and here is one more test for you,” said the Ruler. “I want you to come up with a repayment plan for the money you have made so far on Marching to Heaven,” he said curtly. “And another thing: before I went to the USA, I instructed you to comb the land, leaving no stone unturned, to find that woman Nyawlra. I have been back for several weeks, and no one has come to tell me she is in custody. If you thought that I was going to relieve you of this duty, think again. Put aside your envy of other people’s abilities and deliver her to me. I will make it easier for you. ASS Njoya will assist you. Here is the deal. If you bring me the woman, I may even forgive the money you owe me.”
The Ruler is truly gifted with the carrot and the stick, Sikiokuu said to himself, grateful that he had not been fired from his ministry and had retained one of his loyalists, Njoya. But still, he smarted at the thought that Kaniürü had been promoted and given a subdivision to head. Sikiokuu foresaw nothing but conflict.
“Your Mighty Excellency, I would like a clarification of the chain of command. To whom will Kaniürü be reporting?”
“Kaniürü’s unit is part of your ministry, so he will be reporting to you most of the time and me, sometimes, as I see fit. Is that clear enough?”
“Yes, sir,” Sikiokuu said, although he could see that his hands were now tied.
“What did I tell you?” the Ruler asked them before answering his own question. “I know who the real enemy of the country is.” He paused and stared at each of their faces, finally resting his eyes on Machokali. “And I will tell him this,” he said, wagging a finger at Machokali as if to identify the culprit, “wherever he is, he might think he is very cunning, but …”
Anger silenced the Ruler for a few seconds, as if all the pain he felt, all the troubles he had been through, all the humiliations he had endured, were flooding his brain.
It was not clear to Machokali where the Ruler was headed. At first he was happy about Kaniürü’s rise because it meant Sikiokuu’s demotion. But now with that wagging finger directed at him … ?
“Any questions?” the Ruler asked, to buy time to compose himself.
Kaniürü stood up. He cast an eye of triumph first at Sikiokuu, then at Machokali, and finally at Tajirika, and he was even more joyous to see Tajirika cowering with fear of the unknown that awaited him. Kaniürü seized this moment to ask to be made full chairman of Marching to Heaven.
“Speaking on my own behalf and on behalf of all the others …”
“Speak for yourself …” Sikiokuu and Machokali struck back in unison.
“Okay Speaking on my own behalf, and on behalf of everybody who knows the meaning of patriotism, I will repeat what I said the other day. Your Mighty Excellency, you will recall that I said that if a hurricane were to blow God’s hat and yours off your heads at the same time, I would pick yours up first. I know you have warned us against comparing you to God, but my Lord and Master I cannot help it. Asante sana, my Lord. I have a tiny request. May I?”
“Ask and it shall be given.”
“What about the deputy chair of Marching to Heaven?”
“He will still be reporting to the chairman.”
“And who is he?” Kaniürü asked, almost certain that he would be asked to take on the full chairmanship.
“Thank you for asking,” said the Ruler. “I was about to forget. Allow me to introduce the Governor of the Central Bank to you.”
They turned their eyes to the door to see the new governor. But they saw nobody come through.
“Titus Tajirika, my new Governor of the Central Bank and Permanent Chairman of Marching to Heaven, please stand up and be properly acknowledged.”
They could hardly believe their ears. Even Tajirika first looked over his shoulder as if there was another person with the same name. But when he understood that the reference was to himself, Tajirika fell to his knees in humility and gratitude, even as the others were terrified by the potential consequences of his elevation.
“Our Holy and Mighty Excellency,” he said. “I don’t know how to thank you. You are a deity who dispenses fair justice to us mortals, giving hope where there is despair, even resurrecting dead souls. How can I repay your tender mercies? I renew my pledge: Now and forever, your enemy is my enemy”
Kaniürü saw an opportunity for him to show that he appreciated his elevation better than had Tajirika his. He got to his feet and jumped into the arena.
“Down with the enemies of the Ruler!” he shouted.
“Down with all the enemies of the Mighty Ruler!” Sikiokuu shouted, not to be outdone by Kaniürü.
“Down with every enemy of the Mightiest Ruler!” joined in Ma-chokali, not to be left out of the circle of praise singers.
These people may have been tired after seven days and nights of writing the pledge over and over again, but now their rivalry gave them a new lease of energy as they, now on their feet, tried to outdo one another in barking out their hatred of the Ruler’s enemies. They would have gone on, out of the fear of losing the right of the last word to the others, but the Ruler himself shouted at them, Down with all of you, in response to which they now suddenly shut up and retreated to their seats.
But Kaniürü, Sikiokuu, and Machokali did not even take one step forward. They stopped and stood there, frozen to the ground with fear, each gazing with wide-open eyes at the scene before him. Tajirika, A.G., Kahiga, and Njoya turned around to see what it was that had made them freeze.
“True! Haki ja Mungu!” A.C. would later tell his listeners. “Even the Ruler seemed shaken. Wouldn’t you if you saw termites building anthills on the floor and walls before your very eyes? The Ruler knew as I knew that this was the work of the Wizard of the Crow …”
With white termites multiplying ad nauseam in the room, the Ruler could no longer afford to ignore the powers of the Wizard of the Crow, a threat to his perceived omnipotence. This sorcerer had insulted him by calling him a woman, even claiming he was pregnant, had sparked the queuing mania, had inspired wives to rise against their husbands, and now this: an infinitude of white termites making mounds of earth inside his palace! This man could not be left free to roam the country. Neither could he be left with a power that the Ruler did not possess! He would have him apprehended and soften him with flattery and promises till he revealed the secrets of his knowledge: how to cultivate money trees and divine through mirrors. Having incorporated the powers of the wizard into himself, the Ruler would have him thrown into a dungeon, fry the pig in his own fat, for the Ruler now intended nothing short of becoming sorcerer number one.
Heaving with rage and expectation, the Ruler ordered Kaniürü, Sikiokuu, and Machokali to stand up.
“Whoever has wax in his ears, dig it out so that you can hear clearly what I have to say. Machokali. Bring the Wizard of the Crow to me. With the assistance of SS Arigaigai Gathere, bring him to me not dead in a shroud but alive in chains. And to you three: From today on I want to see results. I want to see which of you will be first to complete his task!”
The competition to see who would come out on top in the three-way rivalry among Kaniürü, Sikiokuu, and Machokali would start in earnest, paling in intensity and expected outcome, next to their writing down of the pledge, about which the Ruler had said nothing. The prize for success, each thought, would be exhilarating, the cost of failure fatal.
He dismissed all except his newly appointed governor of the Central Bank. He felt good about the decisions made; he had finally started to take full control of events since the Global Bank mission and his own calamitous visit to America, returning empty-handed.
“And now, Governor Titus …” He smiled, welcoming Tajirika to the inner counsel.