Chapter Five ~ Sir Knight

"When do I get the rest of it?" Hans demanded as Elisabeth slung her drawstring bag with the barest of her needs over her shoulder in the courtyard.

"Come with me a bit. I have the rest hidden nearby." She was more concerned with getting on her way than with any chance Hans might change his mind about helping her. His greed would take care of that.

Hesitantly, he replied, "Well, all right. I didn't know I was going to have to work for this."

Her sideways glance told her he meant what he said, that he was not jesting. "It is not far. Just out of sight of the manor."

Even with the unpleasant Hans beside her Elisabeth felt more like dancing than walking as she sloughed off a life that had become too great a burden and too spare of rewards to continue. In her sack she had little. Albrecht would have already delivered Elias's armor, weapons and clothing to the holy woman's cottage. Soon Elisabeth would no longer exist, at least until she figured out what she was going to do. She found herself wishing Albrecht and she were truly lovers. At least then she could turn the uncertainty of their fates over to him. That was the compensation for being a woman, not having to make choices. It was compensation too burdensome for Elisabeth.

"What are you going to do? Where are you going?" Hans spoke into her thoughts, as if responding to them.

She shook her head. "If I even knew, I wouldn't tell you. If Reinhardt thinks to search for me, I want him to have to search near and far. So don't bother to ask."

He shrugged disinterestedly. "Whatever," he said. "Is the reward far? You aren't bringing me out here to an ambush, are you?" He stopped in his tracks, the thought just now occurring to him. He eyed the brush around them and started to pull forth his sword.

Elisabeth looked at him, surprised. "You don't trust me," she remarked.

He glared at her. "Look, you are running away from your husband and bribing me to defy him, my master, to help you. You are bribing me with what belongs to him by rights." He cocked his head, his smile sardonic. "Does that sound like a trustworthy person to you?"

"Oh," she said in a small voice. "You are right, of course."

Hans shook his head. "As innocent as that and you think you are going to make your way in the big wicked world, I suppose?"

His face revealed only scorn. "Stay here," she inserted. "I will go get the casket." Without waiting for his assent, she glanced about for landmarks, and then headed straight into a clump of trees.

Stretching his neck to keep his eye on her, Hans watched. He was just about to follow, thinking she had given him the slip, when she reappeared. She was carrying a wooden casket just large enough that she could not see over it and had to take her steps carefully.

"Here," she said perfunctorily.

He reached to take the casket from her arms. He looked about for a place to set the thing down so he could look inside. Finding nowhere he knelt and set the casket on the ground before him. "It's locked," he snapped as he tried to pull the lid up.

Without a word, she bent and reached to the side of the casket. Slipping her finger along the side, she pushed in at a spot near the rear of the box. The action released a catch and the casket opened.

There was no surprised intake of breath from Hans, but when Elisabeth peered into his face she saw a wide grin growing wider. "Jesu Christe!" he breathed. Reaching in he lifted a gold chain and weighed it in his palm. "Beautiful." He went on digging through Elisabeth's mother's jewelry, necklaces, rings, bracelets, all made of precious metals and adorned with precious stones like amber, carnelian, and lapis lazuli. "Ouch!" he cried as he found the pin of a silver brooch the hard way. He put his bleeding finger in his mouth and looked up at her. "Where's the rest?" he asked around the finger he sucked.

"The bottom is false."

He returned his attention to the box. He poked about the bottom until he was able to get a fingernail between it and the edge of the box. Lifting it, he said, "Hey, what's this?" The only thing in the bottom was a folded sheet of vellum. He opened it and stared at the writing, which was upside down.

It struck Elisabeth that he could not read. "It's instructions on where to find the gold." It had not occurred to her that he could not follow these instructions. She was glad, as it happens, because it meant she could slow his search by telling him something slightly different from what she'd written.

He glared. "What does it say?" It was clear that he thought he was being tricked somehow.

She reached for the small slip of vellum and held it up to read. "It says, 'In the bake house in the oven that is never used is a section in the back where a tile is loose. Look there," she continued, "'to find the gold,'" although it actually said, "to find another sheet of instructions." This was going to be better than she had hoped. He would have to think of a way to get the second message deciphered. That would give her and Albrecht plenty of time to get away even if he changed his mind about keeping silent.

"Oven they don't use, all right, that's not hard to remember," he said to himself. "How do I know you are not tricking me?"

She put her hands on her hips and gazed at him. Pointing to the jewelry lying on the dirt next to the casket, she said, "If I was going to trick you, I would not have given you all that. I admit I wanted to slow you down, so you would not follow me." She had almost said "us," but then she realized he believed she and Albrecht were heading off for a tryst, so it would not have mattered. "I think you should go back and make haste. What if someone else finds it first?"

Open-mouthed he stared at her. Then he leaned forward and started stuffing bits of jewelry into his clothing. The slip of vellum he hid last. Picking up the casket he stood and flung it away into the stand of ferns nearby. "Go with God," he said quickly, turned and soon was out of sight.

Elisabeth sighed. Magdalena's cottage was a good half hour's walk from here and she wasted no time making her way.

She let Albrecht be gone for almost a week before she declared that she would go to Magdalena's woodland hermitage for a retreat to think and pray about all that had happened in the past years. No one thought twice about it. As a girl she had gone to Magdalena's place any number of times, whether to truly go on retreat or just to get away from the unpleasantness of her mother's illness. Her disappearance would only become noticeable if someone happened to visit the woman or when her absence went on longer than usual. She prayed Reinhardt was not coming back any time soon. He need not even know she had gone.

At Magdalena's small cottage she looked about for the holy woman and for Albrecht. There was no sign of either of the horses she expected to find. A growing panic seized her. What might have happened?

Blessedly a matter of minutes later she heard the sound of laughter. Turning in its direction she saw the small woman come out of the trees with a smiling Albrecht at her elbow, toting firewood.

"Elisabeth!" the woman called.

"My lady, you made it!" echoed the squire. He looked about with some concern. "Are you alone?"

Elisabeth ran up to the two, smiling. "Yes, alone. I sent Hans scurrying off to find the gold I promised. It was delicious, really. But I am foot weary. Might we sit while I tell you?"

Albrecht took the firewood to the box next to the mud and clay oven set a short distance from the cottage while the reclusive woman took the younger woman's arm and led her to the neck in the shade where they had sat so very many times before.

The young people shared their tales of flight amid laughter. Finally Magdalena broke in. "It was a terrible risk you took, my children. It still is."

Subdued, the runaways looked anywhere but at the woman. She went on, "Albrecht, I need to speak with Elisabeth privately."

He jumped up, bowed, and made himself scarce.

Magdalena adjusted so she was turned more toward Elisabeth on the bench. "Have you really thought this plan through, my darling?" she asked.

Elisabeth started to nod firmly, but stopped with her lips parted to speak. With a resigned sigh, she shook her head. "No, I haven't."

"Do you know where you are going? What you are going to do?"

Leaning forward, Elisabeth reached for the grass growing at her feet and pulled some stalks out of the ground. "No, I mean, I have some ideas. I just haven't made up my mind."

Magdalena considered her for a while and then said, "You just had to get away."

Elisabeth looked up and her face was bright. "Yes, and there was no time to be cautious. Albrecht's life was at risk." She looked away. "And Reinhardt is back. He used me, more than once, and I swear I will die ere I let him do that again."

The older woman reached to rub the young woman's back. "Oh, my dear. I am so sorry." She felt the tension in Elisabeth's muscles. They did not relax as she rubbed. "You know you have family, do you not? In Lombardy, your mother's people." Magdalena reached a hand to stroke her hair.

"Yes, I have never met any of them. But I suppose that is where I will go. But, will they just turn me over to Reinhardt?" Her eyes pleaded with Magdalena.

Magdalena shook her head. "I know not."

They sat on in silence. Finally Elisabeth spoke up. In what she hoped was a lighter tone, she announced, "Hans thinks Albrecht and I are lovers. Isn't that ridiculous?"

Magdalena gave her an anxious look. "It's not impossible, you know. He's quite attached to you."

Cocking her head Elisabeth started, "But . . . but he's . . . "

The woman put her arm around her shoulders and pulled her head to her neck. "It isn't just one or the other, you know. A man like that, like your brother and his friend, they can make love to women too. It isn't about what you can do but what you want to do."

Elisabeth thought about this. "Does that mean that Albrecht will change and get married?"

She felt the woman's shake of her head. "Not likely. He knows what real love is for him now. I just mean he's not . . . well, unable to be your lover." She pulled her head away from Elisabeth's and tried to peer into her lowered face. "Are you in love with Albrecht, darling?"

Elisabeth thought about it. She sat up and crossed her arms about her chest. "No, I don't think I am. I would like to be, but there just isn't that sort of spark. The one I think means you love someone." She looked over at Magdalena. "How do you know so much about all this, I mean, love, making love, men who love other men and all?"

Magdalena stood and wandered to the back of the bench.

The younger woman continued, "Magda, did you love someone once? I mean . . . before . . . ?"

The woman gave her a resigned look. She turned her back so she was facing the shading tree behind the bench. "Yes, I did love someone once. It was a long time ago. I was young and vain. There was a lad I wanted, oh how I wanted him! But as far as I could tell, he did not know I existed. I started following him about, out of sight. I finally found him, rather like when you found your brother and Albrecht, kissing another man. I watched them all the way through, saw everything they did. I was horrified and so angry. I met my fellow on the path as he came back to the village. I told him what I saw. He begged me not to tell anyone else. He said he would do anything for me if I kept silent."

"What did you do?" Elisabeth urged when the woman's voice trailed off.

Magdalena turned back to her. There were tears on her face. "I told him I would not tell anyone if . . . he married me."

"Did he?"

Magdalena came around and sat by her again. "Yes he did. We were truly man and wife. But I made it clear he was not to go with his lover any more. It broke his heart. He took his own life."

"Oh no, dear, dear Magda!"

"That is why I became a recluse, in penance. I selfishly stole a man's heart and soul. If I live to be one hundred I shall never forgive myself. I can only pray that God is one who understands about love, all kinds of love."

Elisabeth nodded thoughtfully. "I always just accepted what you said about love, because you were kind and wise. I see now you have a reason to believe what you said. Love should be free, should be a gift. It should never be forced. I don't think it can be." She hesitated. "No, I am not in love with Albrecht. Even if he wanted to love me, it just would not be right. I don't know why not. Something just tells me there is someone out there somewhere for me. I don't know where or when I will meet him, but I shall. And then I will know."

Magdalena smiled sadly and put her hand on the young woman's cheek. "You are well on your way to wisdom yourself, darling. You are right. There is someone out there, I am sure. And something tells me that when it comes you will indeed know."

Albrecht hovered just out of earshot. Elisabeth called, "Don't just stand there! Tell me where the horses are."

"God, it's heavy!" Elisabeth cried as Albrecht and Magdalena struggled to redistribute the weight of the chain mail coat on her shoulders.

"You get used to it," Albrecht reassured. "Wait until you try the helm!"

It was the next morning, and Elisabeth and Albrecht were readying to leave Magdalena's tiny hermitage. The rest of the day before Magdalena had plied her needle making adjustments to Elias's clothing so they would fit his sister, though in fact there had been less need than she anticipated. Harder was how to deal with the armor, something becoming apparent now that Elisabeth had the mail coat on.

"Your arms are too short," Albrecht said as she shook out her arms so the links would fall into place. "And your legs too, even though you are almost as tall as Elias."

"Women are shaped differently from men," Magdalena observed.

The squire gave her a look. "No, really?" There was a humorous sparkle in his eye.

"Can they be shortened? Not my arms and legs, the mail?"

He looked at the older woman. "Do you have any sort of metal cutters?" When she shook her head, he went on. "We will have to wait until we can get some. I had not thought of it. In the meantime, let's hope you don't trip, my lady."

"Now the helm?" Elisabeth asked.

He shook his head. "We should wait until you are on your horse."

"I think you should let her try it while she still has two feet on the ground. On the horse she might lose her balance."

"You are right," Albrecht responded. He leaned to lift the heavy metal helm from where it sat on the ground. "No, don't lean over. You could break your neck."

Magdalena had shorn Elisabeth's hair the evening before. The young woman exulted in how cool and free she felt. Now she stood with the mail hood covering what was left. She stood straight, as the man had advised.

He lifted the helm over her head and slowly lowered it as far as it would go.

"Ouch! The mail is biting into my scalp!" Elisabeth cried.

Magdalena quickly snatched up the quilted coif that lay nearby. "She needs this under her mail hood."

Already taking the helm off her, Albrecht apologized. "I forgot that. I am so sorry, my lady."

Elisabeth chided, "You better start calling me 'my lord' so you get used to it."

She pushed her mail hood back so Magdalena could fit the quilted head covering over her hair, tying the strings under her chin.

"No, bring the strings around to the back of her neck. Otherwise the knot will get uncomfortable under her chin." Albrecht lifted his own bearded chin to show where the strings crossed and wrapped around to the back.

With her mail hood back in place, Albrecht lifted her helm over Elisabeth's head again. "It is heavy. I don't have to wear it every minute, do I?"

"No, just in battle, or if you anticipate battle. And I will put the gorget on next time. That will even out the weight. Mostly you just carry the thing, strapped to your saddle."

Elisabeth tried to shrug her shoulders but the helm was weighing too heavily to allow her to do that. Nevertheless she felt exhilarated. "Why do I feel like I've done all this before?"

Magdalena smiled. "Perhaps it's not so much that you have done it before but that you were meant to."

Albrecht stepped back to survey his handiwork. He took a deep startled breath. The two women looked quizzically at him. "You look so much like Elias." He turned and walked a distance away to cover his sudden surge of grief.

She did look just like her brother as she stood there in his clothes and armor. She did not have Elias's short beard showing between the cheek plates of his helm, but her form, already angular and now sheathed in the thick layer of clothes, padded jerkin, and mail, and the bearing with which she held herself made her truly her brother's twin. She looked like a very young man.

Looking from Elisabeth to the squire, Magdalena said, "Wait here. I have something for you."

Albrecht took the minute that Magdalena needed to retrieve some items from her cottage to regain his composure. He turned back just as Magdalena came out.

"Here, if you are a pilgrim, then you need a pilgrim's cross." Magdalena reached out a hand and put a cross on a leather thong into Elisabeth's. "And you need a cloak."

Albrecht and Elisabeth stood and gaped at the item the woman held up and shook out. It was a cloak with armholes and which must be pulled on over one's head. As she held it by its shoulders, the two were able to see that it was very white wool with a red cross sewn onto one side of the upper breast.

"A crusader's cloak!" Elisabeth cried. Her eyes lifted to Magdalena's, full of gratitude and awe. She had already removed her helm carefully, and now she strung the cross around her neck. Magdalene bunched up the cloak so she could put it over her head. She let it fall, and Elisabeth slipped her arms in the armholes. Magdalena stepped forward to shake out the garment so it would hang right.

"Why did you make me a pilgrim's cloak? You know I am not planning to go on crusade for real."

Magdalena shook her head. "Let's just say I wanted to see you in one." Her look was unreadable.

Elisabeth raised her arms as Albrecht reached around her to put the heavy sword belt on her. Buckling it he looked up into her eyes. "You truly are Elias," he murmured. He shook his head as though to clear it. He stepped back and tried to joke, "Except you are missing something important."

Elisabeth twisted from side to side examining herself. "What? The gorget?"

Albrecht and Magdalena exchanged conspiratorial looks. "You have to be born with what he is talking about," Magdalena chuckled. "Oh, that reminds me, how are you going to pee?"

Elisabeth stood nonplussed. "I suppose I could be a very shy young knight?" she proposed.

"You wouldn't be the first," Albrecht responded. "I can let it out you have some sort of disfigurement . . . down there . . . and are ashamed to let anyone see it."

Magdalena had a most un-nun-like look on her face. "You could tell others the disfigurement is that it is massive!" she quipped wickedly.

The other two stared at her surprised, and then both fell into laughter. "No, I'd better not. Then everyone will want to see it."

Elisabeth's lips spread in a smile of complete satisfaction. "This feels so right. I feel like I am fully dressed for the first time." She swung one leg and then the other, reveling in the freedom of no skirts. "I feel like I am completely me for the first time."

Magdalena went up to her and stood on tiptoe to plant a chaste kiss on her forehead. The two women looked with understanding into each other's eyes.

The horses were saddled, and Albrecht was mounted on Carlchen. Elisabeth stood fully armored now except for her helm, which was secured to Gauner's saddle. A third horse was piled with what supplies they had accumulated.

She held Magdalena's hands and looked into her face. Her voice broke as she said, "I can never repay you for all you have done for me, have meant to me. What are you going to do now?"

Magdalena glanced about. "Why, stay here and keep praying for forgiveness," she said.

"What will you do if they question you about where I have gone?"

"I will tell them you gave me the slip and ran off with that scoundrel over there." She smiled in Albrecht's direction. "If they get difficult, I will just move my little homestead somewhere else." She put her fingertips to Elisabeth's cheek and wiped away tears. "None of that now, Sir Knight. If you weep the other knights will beat you up."

The young woman who stood in armor tried to smile. As Magdalena said a prayer of blessing over her, she nodded. She turned to see that Albrecht had carefully led Gauner so she could step up on the wooden bench to mount. Gratefully, she stepped up onto the bench, not without feeling anew the weight of all the armor, and mounted her horse. Unable to speak, she looked one last time at Magdalena, turning her horse to follow Albrecht through the wooded path to the road beyond.

At the road she halted Gauner. Albrecht looked back concerned.

"I need to be a girl for one last time," she explained. He could see tears running down her cheeks.

"Boys weep too, my lord," he told her. "We just don't let others see it."

Elisabeth gradually began to get used to the weight of all her armor as she rode Gauner along the muddy road to the east. She was in the lead now, as the two traveled as a knight and his squire. In the few encounters they had on the road, those passing them in the opposite direction simply saluted and made humble greetings. When two young women riding in a hay cart sneaked looks at Elisabeth and giggled, the object of their ogling was thrilled.

"They thought I am a man!" she announced to Albrecht.

"It doesn't surprise me. But there is one thing we need to work on," he replied.

"What's that?"

"Your voice. The way you talk. You don't sound girlish so much as just not masculine. Let me think, what can we do about that?" He thought a few moments, then looked up with a broad smile. "I know. Swear like a man, my lord! It will be hard to stay sounding female if you get in the habit of speaking coarsely."

Riding along more or less side by side with him, Elisabeth asked, "You mean like this? Bugger off, varlet!"

Albrecht slapped his thigh, leaned his head back to erupt into delighted laughter. "That is it! What a hoot to hear it."

Elisabeth smiled back. "You scurvy son of a poxy whore! I will slice you from cock to chin, so I will, and you can use your stinking guts as a rope to hang your miserable self."

Albrecht had to hang on to his saddle's pommel to keep from slipping off. He screamed with laughter.

"Take that, demon spawn, and may you spend eternity in a vat of excrement up to your eyes!"

"Enough, enough," Albrecht pleaded. "You're killing me!" He halted Carlchen and sat wiping his eyes and catching his breath. "You are too good at it. Practice like that, but I would not advise ever actually saying that sort of thing to anyone. Not if you want to keep your body and soul tethered to each other." He sighed. "God, I needed that." He looked up. "My lord."

"You know, I think you should shave me," Elisabeth said, stroking her chin.

"Shave you? Albrecht asked, startled. "You can't grow a beard."

Elisabeth looked over at him. "We have to make it look like I can and would if you do not shave me."

"But how about when you go back to, you know, being a woman?"

An odd speculative look crossed her face. "I'll worry about that when it happens."

The two rode along the road that would ultimately bring them to the Danube where they could get passage on a river barge downstream to Austria. Throughout the journey they could see the imposing Alps rising on their right, between Bavaria and Italy.

At a crossroads, Elisabeth let her horse fall back so she could ask Albrecht, "Is this the road we would take to Italy?"

"I think so. I think this one leads to the Brenner Pass. Why, my lord? Are you thinking of going to your Lombard kin after all?"

The look in her eyes was far away. "No, not that. Just curious."

Elisabeth continued to practice her masculine voice. Albrecht cautioned her not to lower it. "You sound like you are faking it," he said.

"Well, I am faking it," she protested.

"Yes, my lord, but you don't want to sound like it."

When they camped, as tired as they were, Albrecht made her practice her already formidable sword skills but with the addition of learning to maneuver in the armor. She was beginning to notice that every day it was easier. She also felt freer and stronger than she ever had felt.

They came toward a densely wooded patch where the road disappeared in the gloom. "Put your helm on, my lord," Albrecht told her. "There may be brigands."

She looked ahead with interest. "Really?" She was grinning.

It was harrowing to ride into the woods where the trees' branches were so interlaced that little more than scraps of the sun's light made it to where they slowly advanced.

"Ahead," Albrecht abruptly spoke.

She followed his gaze to where three men stood in the road, obscured in the darkness but still identifiable. "Brigands?"

"Probably," Albrecht replied. He drew his sword and continued to ride slowly toward the men. He dropped the packhorse's lead so he could lift his wooden shield to his chest. Elisabeth followed suit, her heart racing with anticipation of her first real encounter.

It was not easy to see, with the gloom and the narrow view from the helms. The two rode steadily forward, keeping their eyes on the trio on the road. Albrecht called, "You, there, make way for the Lord of Winterkirche!"

The men appeared to consult with one another. One lifted a bow and fired an arrow toward them, but it flew wide. The men suddenly turned and dashed away into the thick of the woods.

"Well, damn and hell," Elisabeth swore.

Albrecht did not respond. He looked puzzled, then turned to look behind them. "Damn and hell indeed. The pack horse." He whirled Carlchen and spurred him back the way they came.

Elisabeth turned Gauner in time to see their packhorse's arse disappear into the thicket alongside the road.

"Two, I think," Albrecht shouted back to her.

She spurred Gauner into a run and caught up with Albrecht. She let Gauner follow Carlchen off the road into the trees. Gauner, a superior mount to Carlchen, overtook him and spurted forward. She lifted her sword to strike as the two came up to the stolen packhorse and the thieves.

One man shouted something to his companion and dashed ahead on his own. Elisabeth leaned down as she rode past the man who gripped the packhorse's lead rope. He turned to glare at her, starting to raise a short sword. She brought her arm down with all her might. Her sword bit into his shoulder where it was attached to his neck. He screamed and loosed the pack animal, falling as Elisabeth shot past him.

Breathless she slowed and turned her horse to ride back and finish the man off. She saw the squire dismount and walk to the screaming man. As she rode forward she saw him raise his own sword and bring it down on the man's uncovered head.

Halting Gauner, Elisabeth slid off the saddle and came up next to Albrecht. She looked down at the man they had killed. His shoulder was a bloody mass of carved raw meat, but it was his head and face that she fixed her appalled gaze on. His skull was split from his crown to his mouth. She could see his brains as they oozed out. One of his eyes lay out and down the side of his face. She quickly pulled off her helm, turned, doubled up and vomited. Albrecht reached to hold her shoulders as she heaved.

Standing up Elisabeth wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her chain mail hauberk. It scratched her face, and the vomit stung and made her wince. "I . . . I'm sorry. It's just that . . . that was my first kill."

Albrecht looked at her, his eyes distant. "I know. Mine too." He turned away from her and heaved. It was her turn to hold his shoulders.

Just then they both heard a zip and saw a crossbow bolt bury itself in the eye of the packhorse. Its head jerked back with the impact and it toppled over sideways.

Raising her sword, Elisabeth began to run forward, cursing, but Albrecht reached out a hand and snatched at her. "Stop! There's no point."

She slowed and came back to him. "I suppose you are right. The best that could happen is that I get a bolt in my own eye."

Albrecht nodded, his shoulders slumped. "We had better get back on the road. No sense standing here like targets."

She whipped her head around but could see no bandits. "What about the horse? The supplies?"

"Unless you want to eat the horse, leave it to them. As far as the supplies . . . " He shrugged. "I didn't see the packs still on the horse. The other man must've unstrapped them while we were still advancing on the other three."

She followed him back to their mounts. He helped her up and then dragged himself up onto this own mount.

As they returned to the road she realized she still had her sword in her hand. She raised it to sheath it and saw the blood. Seeing her tremble he snapped, "Here!"

Startled, she looked over to see that he had tossed her his neck kerchief. She snatched it out of the air.

"Clean your sword," he said, realizing that he had successfully shocked her out of a fit.

The kerchief was clotted with blood and worse already, but she wiped away as much as she could before sheathing her sword.

He watched her and knew he could chide her saying, "And you wanted to kill Paynim? Good thing you were never really serious."

They camped, though they no longer had their tent or bedrolls, when they found themselves where a small pier jutted out into the flow of a huge river. "The Danube?" Elisabeth asked.

"Yes," Albrecht said. "Almost there."

She gave him an odd look, but did not say any more until the light had gone and they were ready to roll up in their cloaks and sleep by their campfire.

"Albrecht, I have to tell you something," she began.

He stopped trying to get comfortable on the ground and looked up expectantly. "My lord?"

Hesitantly, she continued. "I want to keep going." He did not interrupt, so she went on. "I love this. I love the freedom, the adventure, and the independence, even the fighting. I don't want to be a woman any more. I want to be a man."

Albrecht sat up and wrapped his arms around his bent knees, his eyes focused on Elisabeth. "I don't understand."

She looked up and straight into his face. "I think you do understand."

He considered, and then asked, "Are you saying you want to persist in the masquerade? To try to live your life as a man, a fake one?"

She shrugged. "More than that. I want to stay a knight. I want to go to the Holy Land. I want to do what my brother was to do. I want to fight Paynim and to make it to Jerusalem and the Church of the Holy Sepulcher." She looked down and plucked at the crusader's cloak she wore. "I want this to mean something, to be real." She glanced up, then firmed her jaw and said in a stern voice, "I don't just want that. I am going to do that." Her voice softened. "And I want you to go with me, to be my squire."

Albrecht gazed at her for some time. He suddenly got to his feet and bowed to her where she sat on the ground. "My lord, I would be honored to continue to be your squire."

Elisabeth jumped up and they locked arms. Her face was lit with anticipation, but at the same time with earnestness and anxiety. "Thank you, Albrecht," she said breathlessly. Then she added, "Deus lo volt. God wills it."

Albrecht grinned. "I just hope He knows that."