Chapter 34

I squeezed her neck. At least a thousand times. I put her out of her misery. In the long dark hallways, I found a myriad of ways to do the deed because she begged me to and because I had nothing but time. And then later, in my dreams, after Gatsbro had given me a body, when I had real hands, blood, and anger, the face I saw changed. It was no longer Kara. It was Jenna. I killed her over and over, my hands around her throat, squeezing, feeling the life ebb from her. Slowly. And with each weakened heartbeat, I became stronger, until I finally snapped her neck and ended it. I did it because she was silent. I thought she was punishing me, and I wanted to punish her back. Or maybe I just wanted to punish someone. Anyone. Someone had to pay.

I would wake in a sweat and see Kara sitting at the side of my bed. Smiling.

"It's all right, Locke. I'm here."

I reached out and held her, ashamed. Did she know?

"It was only a dream," she would coo in my ear.

Only a nightmare.

I showered, trying to wash away my thoughts, the blood on my hands, and the memory of satisfaction. This is not me. And when I was finished, Kara would be waiting for me, still smiling.