21
Cleopatra pulsed with fury and grief, with
guilt and despair, and most of all, with rage. Her empty heart was
a hornet’s nest.
The Romans had taken both of her loves. She
remembered the songs she’d sung to Caesarion in the womb. She
remembered the feel of him suckling at her breast. Cleopatra
twisted, her body pounding with visions of destruction. Of
revenge.
You are mine, said the voice in her head, a
whisper now, a voice that sounded like her own.
“I am yours,” Cleopatra said aloud.
She would tear Rome to the ground. She’d make the
streets run with blood, pile bodies wherever Octavian walked, in
the Forum, in the Circus Maximus. His wife, his generals, his
sister, his friends. Would the citizens scream in the streets,
saluting their brave emperor, killer of children? She’d fill the
temple of the vestal virgins with blood. All the gods of Rome would
bow to her. All the leaders of Rome would beg her mercy, and she
would not grant it. Antony and Caesarion would be avenged. They
would be avenged.
All around her, during the execution, she’d sensed
the goddess, felt her bloody smile, heard her rumbling breath, but
she couldn’t see her anywhere. As she fell to the ground, as her
child was murdered, she’d realized that the goddess was not in the
crowd but inside her own body.
Cleopatra could feel her, furious, blinding in her
desire. She could not tell what part of these feelings were her own
and what part belonged to Sekhmet.
She hungered now, so desperately that had there
been blood pooled on the stones, she would have lapped it up. As
the stars appeared and she healed from the damage done by the sun,
her strength increased. A tongue of fire made its way up her spine,
licking at her like a lioness, rasping away any resistance she had
left.
Feed, her body commanded, and she would not
deny it. There would be no more forgetting what she had done. Her
eyes were open now.
There were people sleeping behind easily entered
windows, her body told her. There were people drunk in the streets,
easily harvested. She stopped herself, with effort.
She did not know enough about what she had become.
The sun had thrown her to the earth, weakening her, breaking her
power. It was only luck that the Romans hadn’t found her there,
lying in the dirt, and brought her back to their prisons.
She must learn what she was. She must understand
how to control it. She could not afford to surrender completely, to
lose herself in hunger and fury.
It seemed a thousand years ago, those metal bowls,
the lighting of incense, the scrolls. Sekhmet’s order, Nicolaus had
said. In Thebes, there was a temple to the goddess. Priestesses to
the old gods. A place where she might find knowledge.
Cleopatra did not plan to leave her enemies for
long. Just long enough to put them at ease, to make them think
themselves safe.
She’d once felt safe.
A soft sound made her spin, searching the darkness
for soldiers, but all she saw was a dog wandering the open area,
its ribs visible, its nose pressed to the ground. It raised its
head and looked toward her with a dry whine. She would not kill an
animal, not now.
No. This was a city full of Romans, and she could
smell them, feel them, and hear them everywhere.
This was a city of betrayers, too. Her son had been
under the protection of one of them. At least she might avenge
herself on him.
She picked her way over the cobblestones, watching
bats flying about the sky, listening to birds shrieking their
hunting calls. Eventually, she stood at the Museion’s gates. With
one leap, she was over them and inside the courtyard.
Another few steps and she stood outside an open
window, inhaling the history of Rhodon, Caesarion’s tutor. The
scent of libraries, of languages learned and forgotten. The scent
of gold, of promises, of ambition.
A lantern flickered in his window, and the man
packed his bag, preparing to leave for Rome. Cleopatra stood in the
dark, watching him for a moment. Rhodon’s robes were finer than
they had hitherto been. She saw a gleam of gold beneath his linen
and the ruddy flush of good health on his face. Her son’s sacrifice
had made him rich.
When he stepped out into the courtyard, his step
jaunty, his jingling bag slung over his shoulder, she was waiting
for him.
An hour later, east of Alexandria, she
slipped into a seaside bar, listening to the jokes and shouts of
drinking men.
“A felucca?” she called, showing only her arm from
out of her cloak, having veiled the rest. In her hand, she held a
piece of gold, stolen from her victim. Cleopatra’s own face was
printed on one side with her name. The reverse was Antony. They’d
laughed when they saw them for the first time. She’d thought him
far more handsome than the coin would suggest, and he’d felt the
same about her image, though her profile had conveyed power.
She held the coin tightly in her hand, letting the
image of Antony’s face press into her flesh. In better days, she’d
traveled to her beloved in her own golden barge, a purple silk sail
stretched above the ship, and the sides fitted with silver oars.
Now, she was reduced to hiring a rickety felucca with a drunken
captain.
A man approached her, his eyes gleaming for gold,
and she withdrew it into her cloak.
“You will take me to Thebes,” she told him.
“Immediately. There will be more when we arrive.”
She saw him smirk at his fellows, telling them
wordlessly that he’d love to take a woman aboard his vessel. To
Thebes? Hardly. Thebes was days away. They’d have to proceed east
along the Mediterranean, to the Canopic branch of the Nile. He’d
take her a few miles down the river and see how long it took her to
spread her legs.
Every man in the bar had similar ideas; she could
hear them echoing.
She strode across the dock and leapt into the
small, wooden vessel, accompanied by the captain and his single
crewman.
The moonlight soothed her injured skin, healing the
remainder of the wounds of the earlier sun. She put her face up
toward the stars and felt their cool radiance as the ship set off.
A cat wound itself around the rigging and stalked toward her,
purring as it approached. She stroked its golden head and looked
into its clear, yellow eyes. It gave a small cry and leapt into her
arms.
Within moments, she’d settled herself into the
vessel, though she could not afford to sleep as deeply as she had
before her burial. With the dawn, she would conceal herself
belowdecks, wrapped in her cloak. The vessel was sun-tight enough
to suit her, and she would know if the men sought to harm her
there. The motion of the water rocked her to sleep, and she dropped
into blackness, losing track of time and place, dreaming of the
Underworld, of Antony taking the form of a falcon and soaring up
into the light, of the Beautiful West stretching before her.
All ships searched by order of the
Emperor!”
The shouts woke Cleopatra from dreams of heaven,
tears running down her cheeks, and she nearly cried out. She
pressed her back against the ship’s side, panicked. They were
looking for her. They’d stretched a chain across the Nile to block
the passage of any vessel.
There were several dozen soldiers on the shore, all
armed. Battlehardened, for the most part, but young and excitable.
Romans. She kept herself still.
“Are there passengers aboard this vessel?”
The captain of her ship answered in the
affirmative. “A woman, traveling alone.”
“Have her show herself,” one of the legionaries
commanded.
The other soldiers laughed raucously.
“Have her show everything!” one yelled. “By order
of himself, the Emperor of the World!”
“Lady?” the crewman asked, pulling aside the
curtain Cleopatra had drawn to protect herself from prying
eyes.
There was no one there.
The legionaries searched the ship but found only a
tangle of linen, a rough cloak, and a small silver box of what
seemed to be dust.
Beneath the water, the queen of Egypt waited for
them to depart.
Her hair streamed in the current as she laid the
flat of her hand against the hull of the ship, feeling the smooth
grain of the wood. Soon enough, she told herself, she would be back
on board with Antony’s ashes. She did not like leaving them, but
she had no other option. She’d slipped into the river as the
soldiers came toward her hiding place.
All around her, fish coursed through the water,
their mouths gaping as they consumed tiny living things. She could
feel each of their bodies, their scales shifting as they moved,
their gills opening and closing silently. She could feel the
crocodiles as well, slithering from the banks and melting
themselves deep into the teeming waters. A yellow eye opened beside
her, and she felt the corrosive friction of the beast’s skin
against her thigh.
She’d slipped into the dirty water only out of
desperation, used to the pure, rain-filled cisterns beneath the
city of Alexandria, but now she stretched in pleasure. She had not
recognized the life that filled the Nile, the tiny creatures and
the large, the plants and sands and scents of faraway places. She
began to silently raise her head above the level of the water to
take a breath, but the boat rocked with legionaries boarding it,
and the wooden hull struck her skull. She was driven downward,
inhaling burning fluid, her lungs protesting, gagging, but as she
sank, something began to change in her body.
Her eyes widened under the water, and she felt her
nostrils close. She felt her spine thrash and elongate, her throat
stretch endlessly. Within moments, her shape was that of the river
itself, long and narrow, limbless and yet pliant. Her bones fit
together like a perfect necklace, an articulated chain, and each
motion heralded the next.
She slithered past the legs of a legionary who’d
entered the water to hold the rope detaining the felucca.
She let her midsection appear above the surface,
lashed her tail for a moment, and felt them nervously wielding
their swords, trying to predict her next position.
“Serpent!” they shouted. “Serpent! Onto the
bank!”