CHAPTER SIX

Jacen Solo sat alone in the Ralroost’s meditation cabin. Located in the aft of the Bothan Attack Cruiser, the room featured a transparisteel arch that provided a clear view of the light tunnel of hyperspace. Jacen had seen such lights all his life, so they were no longer remarkable to him; yet, even so, he found it hard to concentrate and focus his thoughts.

The week just past had been a very full one, but it was not the packing and farewells, the briefing and training that weighed on him. All of those things he had done long before—though he did admit to himself that to be heading off into such grave danger made a big difference in what he said to his mother and father and even his little brother.

“Thought I’d find you here.”

Jacen turned and gave Jaina a smile. “Join me?”

“Sure.” She appeared only as a silhouette in the cabin doorway. When it closed, returning the room to contemplative darkness, she floated forward like a ghost and seated herself next to him. “Emperor’s black bones, Jacen, you really can use some time meditating, can’t you? I don’t think I’ve ever felt you this agitated.”

“Nor, apparently, ever found me this much out of control of my emotional broadcasting.”

Jaina laughed, and Jacen luxuriated in the familiar sound. “We’re twins, Jacen. We had a head start on reading each other before we got to know anyone else. Still, you do seem to be leaking here a bit. What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure. I mean, I guess the enormity of what we’re doing has finally hit me.” He looked at his sister. “Mom and Dad had the Empire to fight, and that was very big and powerful. Well, the Yuuzhan Vong are our Empire, and at first scan, they’re more powerful than what Mom and Dad faced.”

Jaina nodded. “Before, the Force has always tipped the scales in our favor. Here, we just have to be ourselves and do the best we can. Of course, I’ve got great examples to follow in doing that.”

“Colonel Darklighter?”

“Yes, him, the rest of the Rogues, General Antilles, Colonel Celchu. None of them have the Force, but they’re ace pilots. I mean, I have a hard time imagining life without the Force, and these guys are doing great things without relying on it.”

Jacen laughed lightly. “Not having the Force has to be like being color-blind, but it doesn’t affect them.” He held his hands out and curled them down into fists. “And that’s what’s getting to me, Jaina. We have all these people here willing to put their lives on the line, trusting in their leaders, the traditions that govern them, their own sense of right and wrong, their guts. It’s a whole army doing that, going off to defend people on worlds that orbit stars that they can’t see from their own homeworlds. As Jedi, that’s what we do, but . . .”

His sister glanced down and picked at her fingernails. “It can be overwhelming if you look at it on that grand a scale, I guess.”

“How can you not?”

She glanced over at him. “You look at the situation, you take responsibility for the things you can handle, and you trust others to shoulder their burden. I’m just one pilot in the squadron. I’m responsible for my wingmate. I’m responsible to Colonel Darklighter. I carry out my orders as best I can. If I try to think beyond that, I’ll be distracted and then I won’t be of use to anyone.”

“But, Jaina, you’re a member of Rogue Squadron. All the tradition—how can you not carry that with you?”

“I don’t have time for it, Jacen. I concentrate on what I have to do now, not worrying about the past or what might happen in the future.” She turned to face him, allowing the light from the viewport to scroll in warped stripes over her right profile. “I’m kind of surprised that all this has hit you so suddenly. Or, rather, that it hasn’t hit you before.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve always been looking beyond things, Jacen. You always wonder if whatever you have is it, if it’s all it could be. It’s not a question of whether or not a mug is half full or empty, but whether or not it’s the right mug, and the stuff in it is the appropriate stuff.” She shrugged. “Because you’re smart and talented, you’ve been able to blow past most problems and still function being concerned with these grander things. In fact, you roll over most problems without even thinking about them.”

“That’s not true.”

“Sure it is. On Belkadan, you went out to free slaves without giving any real thought to your own safety. Why? Because there was a bigger issue there, whether or not the Force had granted you a glimpse of the future. And even after things went badly, you’re concern wasn’t about your injuries, but about why the vision failed you.”

He shook his head. “You have that all wrong.”

“Jacen, this is your sister. I know you.” She sat back, holding herself up with her arms. “Even being a Jedi is something where you look for more. At first you acted as if Jedi was synonymous with hero. It isn’t. Being a hero isn’t what all these folks are here to do. They’re here to do their jobs.”

Jacen stood and paced over to the viewport. “I know that and I respect it.”

“But you’re still looking for more. You aren’t sure if what you’ve learned about being a Jedi is what you were supposed to have learned about being a Jedi. You want to find a way to become the ultimate Jedi.”

“Oh, and you don’t question what we’ve been taught? You don’t want to push yourself beyond?”

“Beyond what, Jacen?”

Her question startled him. “Um, ah, I guess I don’t know.”

“So you’re searching for something that may not exist.” Jaina gathered her legs beneath her and stood. “Look, I take each job as it comes along. Now I’m a pilot with Jedi skills. I want to be the best pilot I can be. Once I’m there—if I get there—then I can look for the next thing.”

“There’s the problem, Jaina. I have no current job, which is why I’m looking beyond.”

“No, Jacen.” She reached out and playfully cuffed him on the back of the head. “You have a job. You’re a Jedi and you have a mission coming up.”

“I know. I’m all ready for that. I did the training. I’ve studied all about Garqi. I’m set there.”

“It’s just like when you were younger, Jacen. You’re prepared for the job, but you’ve not done it yet. You’re off thinking about the next big thing, and the little thing in front of you might eat you up. The Yuuzhan Vong aren’t one of the little adventures we’ve had in our lives. They are totally serious, and if you look past them, you won’t get past them.”

Jacen turned and looked at her for a moment. The determination on her face and in her voice convinced him that her read was dead-on. Which means I’ve got a whole lot more thinking to do. “And you believe that my experience on Garqi is going to help me perfect being a Jedi?”

“It can help you perfect being yourself. You’ve got two very different Jedi on the mission with you: Corran and Ganner. You can learn a lot from them—both what to do and what not to do. Slow down a step. Learn. Give yourself a chance to learn.”

“It certainly gives me a place to focus.” He sighed. “Now you’re going to tell me that you knew all this stuff because girls mature faster than boys.”

“Women, Jacen, women mature faster than boys.” She tried to maintain a stern expression on her face, but it cracked quickly. She drew her brother into a hug. “Look, neither of us is playing kids’ games anymore. We either have to be as sharp as we can, or we end up being very dead. And a lot of other people with us.”

“I know. You’re right.” He clung to her as if it would be the last time they would see each other. “You’d better fly fast and shoot straight, Jaina. Don’t let them get you.”

“And you’d better remember that there are nasty creatures lurking in the purple botanical paradise that’s supposed to be Garqi.” She pulled back, smiling. “Take care of yourself, Jacen. May the Force be with you.”

“Thanks, Jaina. It will.” He looped an arm over her shoulder. “C’mon, we’ve got time for a cup of caf before our missions run. I’m going to have to be a great Jedi, and you a great pilot, but, for now, maybe we can just be brother and sister for a little bit longer.”

Seated in the ship’s galley, Jaina stiffened as she looked past Jacen. He turned to follow her gaze, and what he saw killed his smile. “Did you need me? I think my comlink is on, isn’t it?”

Corran Horn smiled easily. “Not a problem, Jacen. Good to see you, Lieutenant Solo.”

“Thank you, Colonel.” Jaina reached over and pulled a chair away from the small table where she and her brother were seated. “If you want to join us . . .”

Corran ran a hand over his newly shaved jaw. “No, I was just coming down here to get some caf. Chances are, it’s the last we’ll have once we set down on Garqi. They grow plenty of the beans there, but never mastered the art of brewing it. At least, that was true two decades ago.”

Jacen glanced in his own half-empty mug. “If this caf is considered good by Garqi standards . . .”

“Too late, Jacen, no backing out of the mission now.” Corran patted him on the shoulder, then looked over at Jaina. “I understand you’ve taken well to being a Rogue.”

“Yes, sir, I like it a lot.”

“Different sort of responsibility than being a Jedi, but just as important a one. Colonel Darklighter suggested that when we get back from Garqi, I should run a sim against you and see how good you are.”

Jaina blushed. “I’ll disappoint you, Colonel. General Antilles and Colonel Celchu regularly vape me in exercises.”

Corran shrugged. “Well, they still vape me. Perhaps we should sim against them, teach them old guys a lesson or two.”

“I’ll look forward to that, sir.”

Jacen glanced up at Corran. “Do you prefer being back in the military to being a Jedi?”

“It was nice to see the uniform still fit, and I like the extra pip. Even got rid of my beard.” Corran grinned. “But I’m no less a Jedi in this uniform than you are or Jaina is. It’s a convenient fiction to get done what needs to be done. I’d prefer it were otherwise, but if we have to play games to save some lives, I’ll play.”

Corran set his empty mug on the table. “That being said, the mission on Garqi will be anything but a game.”

“I know. I’ve studied up on the terrain and surroundings, the natural resources, the communications network, transit links and routes, energy generators and distribution patterns.” Jacen frowned as he ticked things off on his fingers. “I’ve also worked on sims of all of our basic equipment and know the workings of my sample scanner backwards and forwards.”

“Good. I expected no less from you. One thing that is going to be very important—something I know your sister is learning with Rogue Squadron—you’re going to have to follow orders. I know that independent action the two of you took at Helska 4 saved Danni Quee. I also know your running off to free slaves on Belkadan didn’t end so well. Right now you’re going to be part of a team. We all depend upon each other, so no running off on some wild tear just because you think you know what has to happen. I’m never going to say no to something just to say no. If it makes sense, I’ll consider it. Understand?”

Jacen nodded. He appreciated what Corran was telling him, and didn’t miss the very fatherly tone the older man was taking with him. “Yes, sir, I understand.”

“Good. One other thing I think you should know: I chose you for this mission because of your experience with the Vong and because of the heart you’ve shown dealing with them. My own experience with them has not been pleasant, and given an option, I’d not be here. Your willingness to come back again is admirable.”

Jacen glanced down again at his mug. “Thank you.”

“If we do this mission right, we’ll be in and out and the Vong will have scant evidence we were ever there. I’m not expecting anything to require the sort of reckless heroics your family is famous for.” Corran smiled warmly. “On the other hand, knowing we’ve got a good dose of Corellian disdain for the odds, backed by Noghri combat skills, is enough to keep me confident about our chances for survival.”

Jaina lifted an eyebrow. “What about Ganner?”

“He’s from Teyr—he wouldn’t know odds from groats.” Corran retrieved his mug from the table. “He’s good in a fight, though, and smart when he thinks before acting. And handsome, too, as you’ve probably noticed.”

Jaina blushed again. “Well, it’s hard not to.”

“His preening all the time kind of makes it obvious.” Corran winked at Jacen. “We probably can keep that between us, though. Kind of outside mission parameters.”

“Understood.”

“Well, I’m off. Take some time with your sister, then double-check your gear. We have a day or two until we deploy, but being ready early is never a vice.”

“Will do, Corran.”

Jaina nodded. “Good to see you, Colonel.”

“And you, Lieutenant. Keep improving that Rogue Squadron reputation, will you?”

“Yes, sir.”

Jacen waited until Corran had passed on before arching an eyebrow in his sister’s direction. “You were being awful formal there.”

“In the military, Jacen, familiarity flows downhill, not up.” She smiled. “We’re playing by different rules now, I guess.”

“Same goal, different paths.” Jacen sighed. “Which could get me thinking beyond the mission at hand, but I won’t. First things first. Get through them, and then worry about the future.”

“That, my brother,” she allowed as she clicked her mug against his, “is a winning strategy.”