V
Advice from a Caterpillar
The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for
some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out
of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a
conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, Sir,
just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this
morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since
then.”
“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar,
sternly. “Explain yourself !”
“I ca’n’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir,”
said Alice, “because I’m not myself, you see.”
“I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar.
“I’m afraid I ca’n’t put it more clearly,” Alice
replied, very politely, “for I ca’n’t understand it myself, to
begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very
confusing.”
“It isn’t,” said the Caterpillar.
“Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,” said
Alice; “but when you have to turn into a chrysalis—you will some
day, you know—and then after that into a butterfly, I should think
you’ll feel it a little queer, wo’n’t you?”
“Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar.
“Well, perhaps your feelings may be
different,” said Alice: “all I know is, it would feel very queer to
me.”
“ You!” said the Caterpillar contemptuously. “Who
are you?”
Which brought them back again to the beginning of
the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the
Caterpillar’s making such very short remarks, and she drew
herself up and said, very gravely, “I think you ought to tell me
who you are, first.”

“Why?” said the Caterpillar.
Here was another puzzling question; and, as Alice
could not think of any good reason, and the Caterpillar seemed to
be in a very unpleasant state of mind, she turned
away.
“Come back!” the Caterpillar called after her.
“I’ve something important to say!”
This sounded promising, certainly. Alice turned and
came back again.
“Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar.
“Is that all?” said Alice, swallowing down her
anger as well as she could.
“No,” said the Caterpillar.
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had
nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her
something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without
speaking; but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of
its mouth again, and said “So you think you’re changed, do
you?”
“I’m afraid I am, Sir,” said Alice. “I ca’n’t
remember things as I used—and I don’t keep the same size for ten
minutes together!”
“Ca’n’t remember what things?” said the
Caterpillar.
“Well, I’ve tried to say ‘How doth the little
busy bee,’ but it all came different!” Alice replied in a very
melancholy voice.
“Repeat ‘You are old, Father William,’ ”
3 said the
Caterpillar.
Alice folded her hands, and began:—
“You are old, Father William,” the young
man
said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”
said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”


“In my youth,” Father William replied to
his
son,
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”
son,
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”
“You are old,” said the youth, “as I
mentioned
before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?”
before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?”
“In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook
his
grey locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?”
grey locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?”
“You are old,” said the youth, “and your
jaws
are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and
the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”
are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and
the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the
law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw
Has lasted the rest of my life.”
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw
Has lasted the rest of my life.”
“You are old,” said the youth, “one
would
hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your
nose—
What made you so awfully clever?”
hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your
nose—
What made you so awfully clever?”
“I have answered three questions, and that
is
enough,”
Said his father. “Don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you down-stairs!”
enough,”
Said his father. “Don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you down-stairs!”

“That is not said right,” said the
Caterpillar.
“Not quite right, I’m afraid,” said Alice,
timidly: “some of the words have got altered.”
“It is wrong from beginning to end,” said the
Caterpillar, decidedly; and there was silence for some
minutes.
The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
“What size do you want to be?” it asked.
“Oh, I’m not particular as to size,” Alice hastily
replied;
“only one doesn’t like changing so often, you
know.”
“I don’t know,” said the Caterpillar.
Alice said nothing: she had never been so much
contradicted in all her life before, and she felt that she was
losing her temper.
“Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar.
“Well, I should like to be a little larger,
Sir, if you wouldn’t mind,” said Alice: “three inches is such a
wretched height to be.”
“It is a very good height indeed!” said the
Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was
exactly three inches high).
“But I’m not used to it!” pleaded poor Alice in a
piteous tone. And she thought to herself “I wish the creatures
wouldn’t be so easily offended!”
“You’ll get used to it in time,” said the
Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its mouth, and began
smoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to
speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out
of its mouth, and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it
got down off the mushroom, and crawled away into the grass, merely
remarking, as it went, “One side will make you grow taller, and the
other side will make you grow shorter.”
“One side of what? The other side of
what? ” thought Alice to herself.
“Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just as if
she had asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of
sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom
for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it;
and, as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult
question. However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far
as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each
hand.
“And now which is which?” she said to herself, and
nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect. The next
moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck
her foot!
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden
change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was
sinking rapidly: so she set to work at once to eat some of the
other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that
there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last,
and managed to swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit.

“Come, my head’s free at last!” said Alice in a
tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when
she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she
could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck,
which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that
lay far below her.
“What can all that green stuff be?” said
Alice. “And where have my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor
hands, how is it I ca’n’t see you?” She was moving them about, as
she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking
among the distant green leaves.
As there seemed to be no chance of getting her
hands up to her head, she tried to get her head down to
them, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend
about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just
succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going
to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the
tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp
hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into
her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.
“Serpent!” screamed the Pigeon.
“I’m not a serpent!” said Alice indignantly.
“Let me alone!”
“Serpent, I say again!” repeated the Pigeon, but in
a more subdued tone, and added, with a kind of sob, “I’ve tried
every way, but nothing seems to suit them!”
“I haven’t the least idea what you’re talking
about,” said Alice.
“I’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried
banks, and I’ve tried hedges,” the Pigeon went on, without
attending to her; “but those serpents! There’s no pleasing
them!”
Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought
there was no use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had
finished.
“As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the eggs,”
said the Pigeon; “but I must be on the look-out for serpents, night
and day! Why, I haven’t had a wink of sleep these three
weeks!”
“I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said Alice,
who was beginning to see its meaning.
“And just as I’d taken the highest tree in the
wood,” continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, “and
just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must
needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!”
“But I’m not a serpent, I tell you!” said
Alice. “I’m a——I’m a——”
“Well! What are you? ” said the Pigeon. “I
can see you’re trying to invent something!”
“I—I’m a little girl,” said Alice, rather
doubtfully, as she remembered the number of changes she had gone
through, that day.
“A likely story indeed!” said the Pigeon, in a tone
of the deepest contempt. “I’ve seen a good many little girls in my
time, but never one with such a neck as that! No, no! You’re
a serpent; and there’s no use denying it. I suppose you’ll be
telling me next that you never tasted an egg!”
“I have tasted eggs, certainly,” said Alice,
who was a very truthful child; “but little girls eat eggs quite as
much as serpents do, you know.”
“I don’t believe it,” said the Pigeon; “but if they
do, why, then they’re a kind of serpent: that’s all I can
say.”
This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was
quite silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the
opportunity of adding “You’re looking for eggs, I know that
well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you’re a little
girl or a serpent?”
“It matters a good deal to me,” said Alice
hastily; “but I’m not looking for eggs, as it happens; and, if I
was, I shouldn’t want yours: I don’t like them raw.”
“Well, be off, then!” said the Pigeon in a sulky
tone, as it settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down
among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting
entangled among the branches, and every now and then she had to
stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still
held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very
carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing
sometimes taller, and sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in
bringing herself down to her usual height.
It was so long since she had been anything near the
right size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used
to it in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual,
“Come, there’s half my plan done now! How puzzling all these
changes are! I’m never sure what I’m going to be, from one minute
to another! However, I’ve got back to my right size: the next thing
is, to get into that beautiful garden—how is that to be
done, I wonder?” As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open
place, with a little house in it about four feet high. “Whoever
lives there,” thought Alice, “it’ll never do to come upon them
this size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!”
So she began nibbling at the right-hand bit again, and did not
venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to
nine inches high.