Chapter Twenty

 

As predicted, next morning when my alarm went off, I regretted my late night. Even half a pot of coffee didn’t give me the usual burst of adrenaline. I walked into the office an hour later whining out loud about my puffy eyes and my head that felt equally puffy. There was no one around to hear me. I made another pot of coffee and switched on my computer so I could stare at the blank screen.

I was supposed to be setting up advertising and calling the mechanic about my van so I wouldn’t have to keep borrowing Mama’s Cadillac. Or at the very least, getting my brochure off to the printers.

Soon. Soon I would decide how I would start my workday.

The workmen arrived and tromped upstairs carrying cans of paint. More screen staring on my part. Inspiration did not strike. The screen saver came on and I studied the colorful swirls. I wondered if it would help if I actually spoke to the computer and asked its opinion.

The phone rang and I finally got to talk to a live person. The car mechanic had gotten my work number from DeLorean. My tires were old and not repairable. He quoted me a price for four new ones. I winced and agreed. I trudged across the room to get a cup of coffee, which I promptly dropped on the floor, splashing coffee across my feet and shattering the cup while I was at it.

The day deteriorated further when I glanced out the window and saw Jack pulling into the parking lot. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be in Ashley on a new job, Veronica should have told me he’d be here, and I did not have one single idea why nothing had gone my way from the moment I’d crawled out of bed. This day was supposed to be a bright new beginning.

I cleaned up the coffee mess and then squinted to survey my surroundings. There had to be a dark hole I could crawl into until Jack left. I knew Veronica was right and that I owed him an apology. But I hadn’t made her any promises about exactly when said apology would cross my lips.

I gave up on the search for a hiding place and stood listening by the door, hoping he wouldn’t come into my office. To my relief, I heard him go upstairs and then I heard him telling someone the lock on the attic door needed to be repaired or replaced. A few minutes later his footsteps sounded on the stairs and then crossed the foyer. He was leaving.

I sighed. Best to get this over with. There was no telling when he’d return—if ever. The Blackthorn House was nearly finished, so prepared or not, I owed him more than a phone call. I hurried out of my office and into the hall while I was still firmly resolved to admit I’d been a fool.

“Jack, wait.”

He had his hand on the doorknob. He wasn’t all that happy to see me, if the lack of a friendly greeting and the tightening of muscles around his eyes were any indication.

“Could I talk to you for a second?”

“What is it?” His hand stayed on the doorknob.

I would have preferred a private chat in my office, but the foyer would do. Deep breath, get it done fast like pulling wax off the bikini area.

“I want to apologize for jumping to conclusions about you and Veronica. I mean, it’s okay if you want to go out.” Oh, God, that hadn’t sounded right. And the deep breath hadn’t been that deep, so I had to take another one. “I certainly don’t have any hold on you. But Veronica’s my best friend and you two shouldn’t--” Still not right. Not to mention, I’d developed a bad case of the blushes. “Anyway, Veronica told me you two aren’t seeing each other, so I guess it doesn’t matter what I say and I sound like an idiot anyway.”

Damn it, why didn’t he react? Why was he standing there looking like an annoyed department store mannequin instead of saying, “apology accepted” and then disappearing the way I’d scripted in my mind?

“Another thing,” I added, moving on to safer territory, “I shouldn’t have had a fit last night after you rescued Patty and me. Not in front of you, anyway. I told my family when I got back that I meant every word. You were right when you said they could take care of their own problems--most of the time, anyway. I didn’t pay attention to the difference between helping and taking over. And even worse, half the time I was sorting things out for them, I was bitching over the inconvenience. I didn’t see it at the time, but I do now. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a card carrying member of late bloomers of America, but the good news is, I’ve finally bloomed. Though it has taken me years to actually realize what a mess I’ve made of so many things. I’m sorry I fought with you and, oh God, I’m rambling.” I clamped my mouth shut. Oh, great, I’d finally taken the time to think about my life and then I’d had a sort of diarrhea of the mind in front of Jack. Very good, Susan, very ladylike.

“Apology accepted. I’m sorry, too.” With a final nod in my direction, he strode out the door.

I blinked. What was Jack apologizing for? Was he sorry he’d ever come back into my life? Sorry I’d gotten angry with Mama and DeLorean in front of him? Sorry he didn’t understand about my loyalty to my family? Did it matter at this point? Who did he think he was anyway, brushing off my apologies as if I meant nothing to him?

Well, I’d done what I’d promised and now I was finished. I’d told Jack I was sorry and I was going to forget him and go back to work. The new me got another cup of coffee and plunked myself down in front of my computer. Except, if this was the new me, it sure felt an awful lot like the old me. Tears slid down my face and I was glad I’d been able to hold them back until Jack left. I did not want him to see me cry. That would have made me even more angry than I already was.

A few mental pep talks and a couple of stern warnings later, I got myself back on track—sort of. Considering how my thoughts wandered, it was surprising my computer didn’t send me a stern reminder to stay on task and stop banging on the backspace key. But by the end of the day I’d gotten out all the press releases and placed the advertisements.

I finally powered off the machine and got up to draw the drapes at the front of my office. Another few minutes and I’d cleaned the coffeepot and even watered the droopy potted plant Veronica had put in a corner near the door. So efficient. Too bad my personal life wasn’t humming along so smoothly.

I’d just picked up my purse when I heard a thump from the back of the house in the direction of the kitchen. I let out a muffled shriek and backed up against my desk while I took stock of the situation. This was exactly the type of ghostly manifestation reported by the former caretaker, the one who had run out the front door on his way to the main office to resign. All the construction workers had left for the day, and I was not expecting anyone. I was alone in the Blackhorn House and yet I’d distinctly heard a sound that shouldn’t be there.

My heart felt like it was beating in time to a fast tango. I scanned the room. Nothing appeared remotely promising to use as a weapon. After all, if the intruder were a ghost and I used a paperweight or even the coffeepot to bash him over the head, it would presumably go right through him. What I needed was something along the lines of a silver cross or a magic spell or something. Where was Patty when I finally wanted her advice about the occult?

Those thoughts streaked through my mind at warp speed and then quick footsteps tapped toward my office. I whimpered and ducked behind the desk, wondering if ghosts could see through solid objects.

“Susan?” Veronica walked in and I hauled myself to my feet, knocking over my desk chair with a clatter.

I put my hand over my heart. Yep, it was still there, pounding away in triple time. “Good God, Veronica, you nearly gave me cardiac arrest. I didn’t hear the door open, so I thought you were an attack ghost.”

“I came in through the back door. You’re being awfully silly for someone who doesn’t believe in ghosts.”

“I’d come off even sillier if a ghost waltzed into the building and I failed to arm myself.” I righted my chair and gave her a quick rundown of everything I’d accomplished during the day.

Her expression brightened. “Perfect. And I’ve got great news. Jack says most of the work will be done in less than a week, so I’ve had a super idea for our grand opening. I’m going to call the newspapers and local magazines and invite reporters and their guests to enjoy a complimentary ghost tour followed by a reception.”

“Sounds like fun.” I ignored the way my heart made an extra hard thump when she said Jack’s name. Stupid heart had given me nothing but trouble all day. “I can’t wait.”

“Just one thing—I’d like you to start the tour off in an old graveyard, then come back here and show them the downstairs of the house and give them the idea of what we’re trying to accomplish. Don’t you think that’s a fabulous plan?”

“Yeah, fabulous.” I actually preferred not starting out in the house. The Blackthorn House didn’t seem all that spooky to me, other than a few creaks and groans and the sound of Veronica’s entrance that I’d worked myself up over. But old graveyards had a built in creepy factor I could take advantage of.

“I’ll take care of the publicity and you prepare the tour and the reception. You’ll have to do a practice run through after you get your script ready, but that won’t be a problem for you.”

“Script? Run through?” I knew my role of course, but butterflies suddenly flitted around in my stomach.

Veronica patted my arm and made soothing noises. “You’ll be fine. And after all, leading ghost tours is your new job.”

“I know. It’s only that I hadn’t expected to start so soon, but I’ll be fine once I get things set up.” The butterflies gave way to a burst of real enthusiasm.

“Of course you will. You’re going to be a big success. In fact, once the tours start, I want you to hire someone part-time to help you in the office and fill in on the tours on your nights off.” She dragged a small, tattered book out of her purse. “I found this in a second hand shop and it’s a real treasure. In chapter ten it gives the history of the house and even tells about so-called ghost sightings here and in other parts of Charleston. You can use it to work something up for the tour.”

I took the book and flipped through it. “Thanks. I’ll be ready for a trial run in a couple of days. Um—about this person I’m supposed to hire. I’ve always been the hiree. Are you sure you want me to find someone on my own?”

“Don’t be silly. You’re the manager of Blackthorn House Tours. Anyone you hire will be fine.”

“I’m glad you said that.” I nodded thoughtfully. “In fact, I already have someone in mind—and I don’t mean my sister.” DeLorean had called earlier to say she’d gotten an interview for a teaching job. Besides, newfound understanding between me and my sister or not, I would be too tempted to fall into my old habit of assuming responsibility for her if we worked together. Neither of us wanted that.

“Well—as long as it isn’t your friend Patty.” Veronica bit her lip. “I know I said you could hire anyone, but I’d really prefer—well, you know. Patty is a little too…goodness, I’m at a loss for words and you know, that hardly ever happens to me.”

I held up my right hand. “I swear it’s not Patty. You’ll have to trust me, Veronica.”

“I do.” She gave me a quick hug. “Call you tomorrow. If I have time. Between the Blackthorn House and the new Ashley project I don’t have a free moment—but that didn’t stop me from buying another building in North Charleston.”

When she got to the door, she turned and asked casually, “By the way, did you get a chance to talk to Jack today?”

I fiddled with my purse strap, winding it around my hand like a tourniquet. I’d already suspected, but now I knew for sure, she’d asked him to come to Blackthorn House to check on the workmen so I’d have a chance to apologize. “Why did you have to bring him up, just when I was starting to forget last night?”

“Because you’re one of my favorite people and I love you and I want you to be happy and sometimes you’re your own worst enemy.”

“Right. Well, you can stop worrying. He stopped by to check on construction and I apologized exactly the way my mother taught me during all those years of southern lady lessons for the etiquette challenged. And, speaking of Mama, right now you sound just like her.”

“You take that back.” She shook her finger at me. “Not that I don’t like your mother, but I am not in her class when it comes to meddling. I simply wanted to make sure there was no trouble between my ghost tour manager and my contractor.”

“There isn’t.”

“Good. Oh, and did I tell you? We’re going to include the attic in the tours, but not until we’re ready to go live. It turns out that one of the former owners of the house is positive he saw an apparition flitting around up there and noises, doors shutting by themselves, and what sounded like people fighting. Pretty creepy story, though I’m not sure he wasn’t simply imagining things. Anyway, Jack’s workers have installed a new stair railing to the attic to replace the old one that was falling apart and I asked Jack to have them check the lock. It sticks.” She pulled her Blackberry out of her purse and glanced at it. “Got to run. You wouldn’t believe how many things are left on today’s list.”

I blinked and she was out the door as if she’d never been there. But even though my ghost had turned out to be Veronica, I didn’t want to spend another minute alone in the house today.

I drove home thinking about everything I had to do at home. Telling Mama and DeLorean that they’d have to do for themselves from now on didn’t mean I was abandoning them altogether. DeLorean had gotten a ride over to the mechanic’s after lunch and picked up my van. As soon as I got home for the day to take over the care and feeding of Mama and Cole, she was leaving to meet her friends for the outing I’d spoiled for her last night. I had promised and I’d keep my promise this time. And I’d spend the evening looking after Mama and Cole, though DeLorean had said Mama was getting along much better on her crutches and had even hobbled into the kitchen and peeled vegetables for dinner.

Maybe I should have had my tantrum years ago, I thought, pulling into the driveway. Didn’t see how I could have, though, since I simply hadn’t reached boiling point until last night. I didn’t need Mama to tell me that you can’t eat the grits until they’re cooked and buttered and on the plate.

DeLorean was dressed and pacing the kitchen when I walked in. She snatched her purse off the counter the second she saw me.

“Finally. I thought you’d never get here.”

“Hey, what’s the hurry? Afraid I might change my mind?”

“After last night, the thought crossed my mind. Besides, if my interview goes well and I start work next week, I need a night out while I still have a chance.”

Mama cleared her throat. She was sitting in a kitchen chair holding Cole on her lap. Two disgruntled looking Chihuahuas sat on her feet.

“I am so glad you are on time, Susan. I would be more than glad to fix dinner, but I can’t watch Cole and cook while I’m still on crutches.”

“I’ll get on it soon as I change.” I brushed my hand over Cole’s downy hair as I scooted past.

When I got upstairs, I realized I’d been so busy thinking about my family and the ghost tour preview that I’d stopped feeling bad about Jack for at least an hour. Progress, but oh, so slow. I slipped into an old shirt and a pair of jeans and before I went back to the kitchen I stopped at my desk to check my mail. Two bills, four pieces of junk, and a flyer from Christian’s college about an open house this coming weekend. It was the third such flyer I’d received. I imagined the school must have an ulterior motive for being so insistent—fundraiser plea, most likely.

I studied the picture on the front of the flyer. A tree-lined walkway led up to a stately brick mansion, now doing duty as the language arts building. The campus was beautiful I saw when I opened to the second page and saw a picture of a small lake dotted with swans and another photo of benches conveniently located in a park like setting. I should go. A road trip might be just the thing to settle my mind and help me get started in a new direction, and, like DeLorean, I was looking at my last few days of freedom before the real job started.

Still musing over whether I should spend the coming weekend in Virginia, I made my way back to the kitchen. Mama had put Cole on a blanket and was at the stove stir frying vegetables. Her crutches were propped against the counter.

“Mama, I said I’d do the cooking.” I picked up a saucepan.

“A body could starve waiting. I am not one to cause trouble in someone else’s house, goodness knows, but really, dear, you need to stick to a schedule.”

“Yeah, and I need to date church people named Stanley, stop airing dirty laundry in front of guests, and realize I’m aging fast and grab the nearest available man before my looks are gone.” I stopped for breath and wrinkled my brow. Whoops. Last night’s “we are one happy family” session hadn’t exactly shaped me up the way Mama had hoped. “Sorry.”

“I’m sure you’re tired from working and that’s what is making you snippy.” Then after a pause, “I suppose I shouldn’t have sounded so critical.”

Probably not. But at least she was trying.

“It’s okay.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Now please sit down before you hurt your ankle again.”

I took over the cooking while Mama somehow managed to hobble around on one crutch and set the table. Thoughts swirled through my mind. No, they weren’t true thoughts because they were so wrapped up in feelings, feelings that dragged me down as if I were swaddled in a heavy, wet blanket. I longed for a friend who’d listen while I unburdened myself. Instead here I was stir frying vegetables with no one but Mama and Cole in the room. I could imagine how things would go if I told Mama what was on my mind. The conversation would start something like this:

“Mama, did you ever wonder why people are so contradictory?”

“Who’s contradicting? Certainly not me. I never in my life cared to argue with anyone, though goodness knows there have been times when I’ve been forced to put in my two cents. When people simply will not do what’s right, I have no choice, but to try to guide them.”

“That’s not what I mean. It’s just that sometimes I feel so mature and together and other times it’s like I’ve never grown up and I’ve messed up my life and now I want someone to share my life with me, but I’m not sure I deserve someone.”

“You are nearly forty, Susan. Of course you are mature, even though you don’t make the best decisions and that is why you need to listen to my advice.”

Enough said. And then there was DeLorean. If I didn’t have the life wisdom I felt I should have, she had even less. After all, I was the big sister and she didn’t have much of a track record of her own, though she’d finally started to show a lot of promise.

I thought of calling Patty for a long chat, but, even if she weren’t out with Kyle, she’d tell me to listen to the Universe and trust the tarot. Veronica was out, too. She had so many business deals going, I’d be lucky if she made it to the ghost tour preview next Friday. She wouldn’t have time to listen to my thoughts.

No, I was on my own. I was going to have to sort through this stage of my life all by myself. And if determination were any indicator, I would emerge from the sorting process a better person. I lifted my chin and forced a watery smile in the direction of the refrigerator.

“Susan, did you hear me?”

I jumped. “Yes, Mama?”

“Is something burning? Dear, it is not safe to daydream while you are cooking. Did I ever tell you about my friend Celia who left a pan of bacon frying on the stove and went outside to flirt with her new neighbor, an overtanned gentleman who claimed to be an actor?”

“Yes, of course.” I yanked the smoking pan off the burner. “Just singed.”

“I am not so badly injured that I can’t help, you know.” Mama hobbled to the nearest kitchen counter to help me bring the food to the table. I knew she was afraid I’d ruin something else.

Cole was asleep by the time I collapsed into my chair in front of my place setting. Mama peered down at him and her expression went gooey as if her face had melted. “Such a darling little man, but it’s nice to have a few minutes peace and quiet. He was fussy today. Teething, most likely. Remember when Christian was at that stage?”

“How could I ever forget? I thought I’d never get another moment of sleep.” Mama had still had her job in those days and wasn’t free to watch Christian while I rested and certainly T. Chandler was helpless when it came to looking after his baby son.

But the reminder about my son made this a good time to tell her about my plans before Cole decided to wake up and fuss again. “Speaking of peace and quiet, you know I’ve had a really stressful week. And it’s not over yet. Friday we’re doing a preview ghost tour and then we have our grand opening the following week after the reporters have time to spread the word and our advertising comes out.”

“How nice for you. Still, you know I have reservations about this new job. I mean, ghosts? Surely the good Lord did not mean for the dearly departed to wander the earth when they should be sitting on porch swings in paradise. Some of them anyway. Of course you know there’s a place that’s the opposite of paradise and going by some of the people I’ve met here in Charleston, it’s likely to be full up. But that doesn’t mean you should go around looking for spirits who don’t have enough sense to know whether to go up or down so they just stayed put. That is, if there is such a thing as earthbound spirits.”

I put my fork down and looked at her sharply. “Ghost tours are my job. Mama, you said you wouldn’t interfere anymore.”

“So I did.” She made a little wavy motion with her hand as if erasing an invisible blackboard where she’d started writing her latest criticism. “Never mind, Susan. The important thing is that you’re happy.”

“I’m not sure I’m happy. I’ve decided a little mini vacation is exactly what I need to perk me up, so I’m going to the open house at Christian’s college next weekend.”

“But I have plans with Rhett for Saturday. I couldn’t possibly make the trip and I’ll still be on crutches anyway.”

“No problem, Mama. I’ll go alone.” I didn’t tell her that had been the plan all along. Surely the good Lord didn’t mean for me to spend hours in a car with Mama when I should be having a restful weekend.

“I suppose it would be a good idea to see how Christian is doing. Especially now, with that Trinity person he’s seeing. You can find out exactly what’s going on with the two of them. It wouldn’t hurt to ask some discreet questions.” She sniffed. “I knew he should have gone to school in Charleston and then I would have been able to supervise his actions even if you seem to think he should be free to bring females into his bedroom any time he pleases.”

“Mama.” I sucked in the deepest breath I could handle without over-oxygenating my lungs. “I am not a detective and I have no plans to question anyone, discreetly or otherwise. Besides, Trinity is planning to transfer to Charleston after this semester.”

“In that case, better that Christian stays in Virginia.”

“There you go. But Trinity needs a job, and that’s why I’m going to offer her one when I see her. Veronica says I can hire an assistant.”

Mama choked on her bread and I got up to pound her on the back. Cole woke and started howling.

“You can’t be serious, Susan.”

“Of course I’m serious.” I lifted Cole from his blanket and rocked him back and forth in my arms.

“I suppose I see your strategy. Keep her here and she won’t be there, though you wouldn’t want her to scare away the customers.”

I rolled my eyes. “We’re talking people who are out for a little fun, people who are hoping to see ghosts. I hardly think they’ll run screaming into the night over someone who looks like an advertisement for “Goth meets army.”

I hoped Trinity would want the job. She’d shown herself to be competent and responsible despite the purple hair, the army clothes, and the nose stud. Having her around might even be good for business, though I was pretty sure her look would clash with the period costumes Veronica and I had selected for the tour leader to wear.

“Even so, I do hope you’ll reconsider.”

“I’m asking her this weekend while I’m in Virginia.” I’d drive up Friday night after the work reception and no family crisis short of bodily harm was going to stop me. I thought about calling Christian, but held off. It would be more fun to surprise him.