A DAD IS MADE

A week after Michelle's due date, Tim rushed her to the hospital as her contractions intensified. For the next thirty-six hours, he stayed awake, helping her to breathe through the contractions and trying to make her feel more comfortable, which seemed like an impossible task. During the birth itself, Tim couldn't believe how hard Michelle had to work. He was never so glad to be a man. Twice he felt he might faint. And then suddenly he could see the crown of the baby's head, and he became completely transfixed as the entire head and shoulders began to emerge. When the doctor handed Tim his newborn son, tears welled up in his eyes as he snuggled naked little Blake against the bare skin of his chest and neck.

"When he looked into my eyes, I think he knew I was his dad and I would always protect him," Tim later told me. The skin-to-skin contact between father and son had worked its biological charms on both of them, calming them and promoting bonding.

Because infants require round-the-clock care for survival, Mother Nature has forged a nearly unbreakable biological bond between parent and child. It's as if she waves her magic wand over the parents' brains and they fall head over heels in love with their baby, as Tim and Michelle were discovering. Scientists have learned that the same brain circuits that were activated when Tim and Michelle fell in love were now being hijacked to make sure they fell in love with Blake. Cupid's arrows were being dipped in powerful neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. Just as in romantic love, the connections between the baby's and parents' brain circuits are reinforced by skin-to-skin contact and gazing into each other's eyes and faces. And researchers have shown that a baby's face, with its soft, pudgy cheeks and large eyes, activates a special brain area called the parental-instinct area within a seventh of a second. Tim and Michelle's instincts were turned on full blast.