PUSHING HIS LIMITS

"Aarghhh!" David shouted as he charged forward, thrusting and jabbing his new laser sword at Craig. Not to be outdone, Craig snatched the sword out of David's hands and took off running with it. But he made it only a few yards before David caught up and grabbed the back of his mud-caked shirt. Within seconds they were on the ground wrestling for possession of the sword. To someone not familiar with the ways of young boys, this would look like a fight. But David and Craig were having a blast.

Boys wrestle and pummel each other with gusto, competing for toys and trying to overpower each other. They play this way up to six times more than girls do, a reality that Jessica now found highly entertaining, although she hadn't always seen the humor in it. Boys discover their place in the world by pushing all of their body's physical limits, so it's not just fighting but also being able to fart or burp the loudest or the longest that gives a boy bragging rights. Jessica said, "I'll never understand why David and Craig think farting on each other is so funny. But they think it's hilarious, and Paul laughs as hard as they do."

For David and Craig, every day was filled with a series of serious physical contests. How fast can you run? How high can you climb? How far can you jump? A boy's success or failure in sports and other contests can make or break his sense of self. Even though Jessica could appreciate that males are naturally driven to test their physical abilities, she still worried that David would get hurt. But Paul--who grew up with three brothers--knew that the bumps and bruises were a normal part of boyhood.

During the juvenile pause, boys imitate their dads, uncles, and older male cousins, and they're particularly intrigued with the men who stand out as alpha males. Go to the zoo and watch the primates, and you'll see the most powerful male sitting by himself chewing grass and the little guys running up and attacking him from behind. The little guys are playing at things they'll be required to do in their future. When the alpha male has had enough, he'll shoo away the juveniles. Undaunted, they will continue to wrestle with each other, literally tumbling across the ground. This rough-and-tumble play is also observed in groups of human boys everywhere.