Chapter 4

The following day, Elizabeth poured herself into Emily’s lessons. She would not permit herself idle time, which would only serve to allow her mind to recall the events of the prior evening. She had slept restlessly, concern building within as she contemplated having to inform Jane before long of Mr. Bingley’s engagement and also whether Rosalyn might somehow come to hear of Mr. Darcy’s offer.

That evening, the Willstones and Rosalyn were to attend a small dinner party. Elizabeth had heard a little bit about it previously during the week, but now there was much speculation on Rosalyn’s part whether Mr. Darcy would be there. Rosalyn was more inclined now to express her feelings to Elizabeth, and today they included the hope that he might make an appearance. With every passing between the two young ladies, a look of hopefulness on Rosalyn’s face or a brief word spoken to Elizabeth reinforced the much anticipated prospect of seeing him.

Everyone at the Willstones’ the previous evening had expressed their plans to attend this dinner party. Rosalyn told Elizabeth that it was all she could do to keep from asking Miss Darcy whether or not her brother would also be accompanying them. She had lofty expectations that since his sister would be there, he would be as well.

That evening, after Rosalyn spent over an hour with her personal maid, insisting she make her as beautiful as she could, she asked for Elizabeth to join her alone in her chambers.

Elizabeth saw to it that Emily was playing contentedly by herself and went to her friend.

“Oh, Elizabeth!” Rosalyn rushed to greet her when Elizabeth appeared at her door. “Come inside, please!” She ushered Elizabeth in and closed the door behind them. Pointing to a chair, she asked Elizabeth to sit down.

Taking the chair across from her, Rosalyn began. “I am beside myself, and I just needed to talk to you!” Her eyes shone a glassy blue, and Elizabeth had to admit she had never seen her look lovelier.

“I just have an extraordinarily strong feeling he will be there tonight, and being the somewhat small party that it is, there is every possibility that I will have the opportunity to speak with him! I so want him to think well of me, yet I fear I will not know what to say!”

Elizabeth reached over and gently put her hand upon Rosalyn’s, which were folded in her lap. “Rosalyn, whatever you do, just be yourself.” She bestowed a gentle smile on her friend as she gave Rosalyn words of encouragement that she felt would actually put her in Mr. Darcy’s good stead.

“Was there anything you noticed that he liked or disliked? Did you notice him with women in whose company he seemed to enjoy? What kind of woman do you think he prefers?”

Elizabeth looked down, feeling a most unwelcome blush spread out upon her cheeks. She sympathised with her friend and truly wanted to give her some helpful advice.

Looking back up, Elizabeth said, “Do not attempt to flatter him or placate him. I believe him to be a man who sees through any sort of arts that a woman might use to secure his notice.”

Rosalyn looked at her intently. “Yes, I believe you are right. What else can you tell me?”

“If it appears that he wishes to be left alone, by all means do not beleaguer him with petty questions and conversation. You, yourself, mentioned that he is reserved. It is best to make a good impression now and use future opportunities to show him how intelligent you are.”

“Yes! That is very wise, Elizabeth. Is there anything else?”

Elizabeth pondered this, and her eyes lit up. “You might occasionally disagree with him.”

“Disagree with him! Oh, how you tease me!” Rosalyn laughed as she pulled Elizabeth toward her in a hug. “I could never do that!”

“No,” Elizabeth said with a shake of her head. “No, I suppose you could not.”

After reassuring Rosalyn that she truly had nothing about which to worry, she sent her off with hopes of securing Mr. Darcy’s affections. She could only laugh at the irony of this situation: how she was building up this young lady’s hopes about none other than Mr. Darcy. She had been tempted several times to tell Rosalyn that he most likely had many faults but could not bring herself to do that. When she finally quit Rosalyn’s room, she wondered about all she had truly said about the man. She was quite certain none of it reflected poorly on him.

After the Willstones and Rosalyn departed, Elizabeth attempted to ascertain whether or not she wished Mr. Darcy to be there tonight. Curiosity prompted her to wonder exactly how he was doing, yet an apprehension of encountering him again gave rise to the wish that he not be present. She knew that Rosalyn would likely pay her a visit in her chambers with any such news when they returned later. Elizabeth would know by morning whether her friend’s hopes had been fulfilled or dashed.

Elizabeth found herself unable to sleep that night and propped herself up in her bed with a book. She read into the early hours of the morning and listened with a surprising sense of expectancy for everyone to return, until sleep eventually overtook her.

***

Elizabeth’s book had fallen down upon her lap, and the candle snuffed as it burnt down. Her breathing became heavy and laboured as dreams besieged her in what little time she slept. She dreamt that Mr. Darcy was paying a call, and fear gripped her as she heard the sharp rap at the door. Trying to flee from his presence, she found she could not run. The sound of the tapping at the door became louder and more insistent.

She abruptly awakened to see Rosalyn peering into the room through a slightly opened door.

“Elizabeth, I am sorry to awaken you. You must have been in a sound sleep as you did not answer when I knocked, but you must allow me to tell you what transpired tonight!”

Elizabeth slowly lifted her head and gazed at the light in Rosalyn’s eyes, reflecting the flame of the candle she was holding. Elizabeth knew immediately what her friend was about to tell her, and she braced herself for it.

“He was there tonight, Elizabeth! He was there!”

Closing her eyes briefly and pressing her lips tightly together, Elizabeth breathed in slowly to calm her rapidly beating heart. She looked up at Rosalyn. “You mean Mr. Darcy?”

“Yes!” Rosalyn answered slowly as all her breath was expelled. She quickly took Elizabeth’s hand and held it tightly in her own. “It was a small party of about twenty, and would you believe it? He purposely took the chair next to mine for the dinner! I did not think I would be able to breathe throughout it, and the thought of eating was the absolute last thing on my mind!”

Rosalyn laughed and squeezed Elizabeth’s hand more tightly. “When he spoke, I could barely tend to his words!” Her voice gradually rose in intensity and rapidity, but in a whisper she concluded with, “I cannot help but think he purposely singled me out!”

Elizabeth made an attempt to smile. “I am very glad to hear that, Rosalyn, but could we wait until morning? I am quite tired!”

“Oh, yes, please forgive me, Elizabeth!” Rosalyn sat still for a moment, seemingly not yet ready to quit the room. “But first, I must tell you! He mentioned you by name, having heard that you are living here as a governess!”

Elizabeth felt her throat constrict as the colour drained from her face. “He did?”

“Yes, and you cannot guess what else!”

Elizabeth shook her head slowly, feeling apprehension rise. “I cannot imagine.”

“He indicated a slight curiosity whether you had spoken of him at all. When I said that indeed you had, he said he hoped it had been in a favourable light.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, and then looked down at her nervously entwining hands. Her face warmed with a blush.

“Elizabeth.” Rosalyn leaned toward her. “He is clearly hopeful that I have heard only good things about him from you.”

Elizabeth looked up at her through guarded eyes. “Yes, so it would seem.” She took in a breath and held it before asking her next question. “Rosalyn, what did you tell him that I said about him?”

“I told him you only had the kindest words about him; that you spoke highly of your respect for him and felt he was a most admirable gentleman; that there was not a finer man that could be found.”

Elizabeth eyes widened, and she laughed nervously. “Rosalyn, did I truly say all that?”

“Well, you know how I can get carried away at times. He seemed quite pleased with your estimation of him, and I said a few more things, only wishing to please him more.” She paused for a moment, and her eyes widened. “I hope you do not mind! Oh, please forgive me for embellishing your opinion of him. I just knew that you thought highly of him from what little you said.”

Elizabeth’s mind swirled in turmoil as she wondered what he must think of her now. “Well, it is behind us and Mr. Darcy must be quite convinced that I hold him in the highest regard!”

“Thank you so much, Elizabeth!” Rosalyn stood up to walk toward the door. “I shall sleep most soundly and contentedly tonight!”

When Rosalyn stepped out and closed the door, Elizabeth leaned her head back down on the pillow, her thoughts warring with her feelings. “I am glad someone shall!”

***

Sleep did evade Elizabeth for most of the remainder of the night. Over and over, she pondered why Mr. Darcy had inquired about her opinion of him from Rosalyn. Was he truly concerned that I spoke favourably of him because he wished for Rosalyn to have a good opinion of him? Does he think so highly of himself that he hopes to learn that I have changed my opinion of him? Or does he merely hope that I now realize his worth and the significance of his offer?

Considering any of those options did little to calm her erratically beating heart. Knowing all that Rosalyn told him—truly more than what she had really said—made her wonder what he now thought of her. Whatever his opinion of me, he must feel himself quite self-satisfied now!

“Ohhh!” Elizabeth pounded the pillow. It should not matter what his estimation of her was or why he wanted to know her opinion of him! Elizabeth dove into her pillow face down. But to own the truth, it did matter to her, and she could not help but wonder why.

The next morning, Rosalyn came up to Elizabeth several times, recalling some incident from the previous night that she wished to share with her, everything from what Mr. Darcy wore to what foods he seemed to enjoy the most.

“Elizabeth, when I first noticed him, he was standing with his back to me. But I was quite certain it was him because of the manner in which he walked as someone called him over. Have you ever noticed how he appears to glide across the floor? And he had on the most impeccable dark blue attire. When he turned and looked at me, I quite forgot about what I was speaking to Mrs. Remington!”

And then she spoke of the meal. “He took a rather small portion of duck, but seemed to take a rather large portion of potatoes. He had little interest at all in the beet soup, but he did eat a good deal of the bread pudding.”

Elizabeth made several futile attempts to change the subject. However much she did not wish to hear about him, she did inquire about Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy and whether an announcement of their betrothal had been made.

“No, I had very little opportunity to speak to them as they left early. I did hear people whispering and conjecturing about them, though, and they all think an announcement is forthcoming.”

Throughout the day, Elizabeth found it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on Emily’s lessons. She found herself easily distracted, and even little Emily noticed it.

“Miss Bennet,” Emily said, reaching out and taking Elizabeth’s hand. “Are you feeling unwell this morning? You do not seem yourself.”

Elizabeth squeezed Emily’s hand. “You certainly are an astute child, Emily.”

“What is… astute?”

Elizabeth smiled. “Astute means you are smart about things and have good judgement. You can sense things to be a certain way. For example, you say I do not seem to be myself. You are correct, but I had not told you how I was feeling.”

“I can see it in your eyes.”

“Truly? And as you grow up, you will notice more and more things like that, making you a good studier of character.”

“Is that good?”

Elizabeth tilted her head. “It can be in some ways.” She thought back to her study of Mr. Darcy. “But we must not always rely on what we first perceive. We may not always be correct.”

“How will we know if we are mistaken?”

Elizabeth sighed. “Sometimes we may not know until it is too late. But,” Elizabeth clasped her hands together, “a good rule of thumb is to not be too quick to judge someone poorly, but always be willing to judge them well. Then collect the facts you need to support or disprove your opinion.”

Emily displayed a wide grin. “That does sound like a good idea.”

Elizabeth felt a little better after her talk with Emily. She enjoyed sharing lessons she had learned from people, books, and her own experience. Fortunately, the young girl did not ask what it was that was bothering her, and Elizabeth did not volunteer the information.

***

To Elizabeth’s relief and Rosalyn’s regret, for several weeks there were no balls, no parties, and no evenings at the theatre where Mr. Darcy, his sister, or Mr. Bingley were in attendance. Rosalyn still harboured hopes that Mr. Darcy had a fondness for her, but kept it between herself and Elizabeth. She had not owned up to her sister what her hopes and dreams concerning him were.

Elizabeth was grateful for his absence from those functions, but Rosalyn continued to mention him at every opportunity. While she dearly enjoyed the friendship they shared, when the subject of Mr. Darcy came up, Elizabeth had to choose her words very carefully.

She was also immeasurably grateful that there had been no announcement concerning an engagement between Miss Darcy and Mr. Bingley. She had made a decision early on that she would not burden Jane with the fact that she had seen him again until it was absolutely necessary. But she knew it would only be a matter of time.