Chapter 4

As darkness encased the ship, the environment within steerage became markedly bleak. Elizabeth made her way toward her bed and found Mrs. Rawlings still tending to her daughter, Pauline, who felt exceedingly ill. Penelope had fallen asleep in her mother’s bed, and Mrs. Rawlings decided she would sleep on the floor, as she did not want to disturb her sleeping daughter. Moreover, in the state she was in, she would not be able to fit upon the narrow mattress next to her daughter.

Elizabeth would not have it and offered her bed to the woman. “Please, I insist that you take my bed. Allow me to sleep on the floor!”

“Thank you, Miss Bennet, but no. I cannot do that.”

“Mrs. Rawlings, I am younger, and you need a good night’s sleep to keep yourself and the baby healthy.”

“I appreciate your generosity, but we chose to save money by having our girls sleep together. It is my dilemma.”

Elizabeth shook her head firmly. “Mrs. Rawlings, I have oft slept on the floor in my sister’s room. I would sneak into her room at night and we would lie on the floor whispering and giggling, falling asleep before we knew it.”

Elizabeth extended her hand toward her bed while gathering her coverlet and a coat to use as a pillow, placing them on the floor. “Please.”

Mrs. Rawlings was more than grateful to Elizabeth, but remorseful for causing Elizabeth such discomfort. They sat and talked for a while, Elizabeth continually reassuring her. Elizabeth eventually changed into her nightdress and robe, and then crawled between the folded warmth of her coverlet.

As Elizabeth lay there in those first few moments of darkness, she thought it was not so much the hard floor that might keep her awake, but the rocking of the ship and the noises from this crowded room of women and children. At home, she had her own room and she was a very light sleeper.

As she lowered her head upon the pillow, she remembered the words of her father and offered up a silent prayer thanking God for taking them through this first day. She was grateful she did not seem affected by the swaying of the ship and prayed for those who were, especially little Pauline. As she closed her eyes, she added to her prayer a request that she would be able to sleep well on this ship for the duration of the voyage. But the noises from children crying out and other odd sounds of so many people sleeping together did little to help this part of the prayer being answered that night.

***

They were blessed with pleasant weather, allowing the hatch to steerage to be left open all night. This allowed for a meagre amount of light to seep down into the depths of the ship as soon as the sun began announcing the new day. At the earliest signs of dawn, Elizabeth awoke, silently cursing her propensity to awaken with the morning sun. At some point in the night she had fallen asleep, but now she was stiff and sore, and believed herself to have had only a few hours of sound sleep.

She sat up slowly, working out sore muscles and stiff limbs. Most of her steerage companions were still asleep, and she sat quietly, leaning her head against the wall, contemplating what this new day would bring.

She looked up toward the hatch and watched the thread of sunlight sneaking through. She stifled a deep breath because of the variety of odours that were building throughout. As she sat motionless, she thought of her father’s words again, and thanked the Lord for her first night on the ship and then beseeched Him that He would continue to carry them safely across these waters.

Her attention was drawn to Pauline, who had awakened and began to whimper. Elizabeth stood up as Mrs. Rawlings awoke and they both went to the little girl. Elizabeth felt the little girl’s forehead and found it to be feverish. “She does seem to have a fever, Mrs. Rawlings. Perhaps her illness is something other than seasickness.”

Mrs. Rawlings pulled the blanket off the bed and brought it up to Pauline, covering the little girl, who had begun to shiver.

Elizabeth gently reassured the woman, who was quite concerned for her daughter. “Let me go freshen up, and then I will go up on deck and see if I can secure another blanket for her.”

“Thank you.”

Elizabeth changed into a simple muslin dress and quickly brushed out her hair, easily pulling it up. She put on a bonnet and tied it securely under her chin, then set out for one of the small necessary rooms they had for the women. When she had readied herself, she wrapped a shawl around herself, climbed the stairs, and instantly felt strengthened by the gradual increase of sunlight that poured down on her. Upon reaching the floor just below the top deck, she obliged herself and took in a well-needed deep breath. She filled her lungs with the fresh air and immediately felt strengthened and more alert.

She decided to walk down the hall, looking for some sort of linens storage room. To her delight, she found a door that was marked with the word Linens.

She did not see anyone around, so she turned the door lever and was pleased to find it unlocked. She walked into a very pleasant, clean room that had shelves of blankets, pillows, towels, and assorted other items. A small window let in some light and a fleeting thought passed through Elizabeth’s mind that she could curl up in here and sleep for the night so soundly and no one need to know. It would be much more endurable than steerage. As she was musing over this very foolish, yet appealing, idea, the listing of the ship closed the door behind her, bringing her back to her purpose in being there, and she set out to collect a few things she needed. She decided to pick up an extra pillow for herself, as well as two more blankets in case they were needed.

Her arms were full as she managed to open the door. As she backed out, she slowly closed the door behind her. She turned and found herself staring into the face of Mr. Darcy, who was walking down the hall.

A look of surprise crossed his face as he saw her arms laden with linens. He smiled slightly, tilting his head as he spoke, “I did not know when I collided with you yesterday that you were a stowaway.”

“I am not a stowaway, sir,” Elizabeth declared as she shook her head in irritation and for emphasis. She looked down at the blankets and pillow. “I am bringing these down to steerage for a little girl who has a fever and the chills, and where, I might add, I am a paid passenger.”

“I see,” he said. “I am sorry to hear that a child is unwell.” He had never seriously considered that she was a stowaway, but he should have known that his attempts at teasing usually were not taken as such. This was unfortunately one of those occasions. “Were you not given enough blankets and pillows, then?”

Elizabeth was eager to let this gentleman know what she thought about this very poor policy on the ship. “We would have had enough if only one person was assigned to each bed.”

“There are people doubled up down there?” asked Darcy incredulously.

Elizabeth started at his question. She tilted her head and looked at him askance, pondering yet another example of his unpredictability. “Many of the children are. Unfortunately one of them is the sick little girl. The child’s mother, who is again with child, gave up her bed to her other daughter.” Elizabeth pondered whether to go on to tell him that she gave her own bed to the mother, but decided against it.

Darcy looked at her with feelings of disbelief and displeasure at what he learned his ship’s policy was and what had happened as a result. “So this woman is left to sleep on the floor?”

Elizabeth now looked at this man, whose character was becoming increasingly difficult to sketch. That he seemed concerned did not harmonize with the image she had of him.

“No, I could not allow her to do that.” Elizabeth paused. “I gave her my bed.”

Darcy nodded. “So you slept in the linens room instead?”

“Not quite, sir,” Elizabeth let out a sparkling laugh. “I went in just a few moments ago to secure these items.” She paused, and when Darcy said no more but seemed highly disconcerted about this whole thing, she added with a touch of mischievousness and a sly smile, “Although while I was in there, the thought did cross my mind that it might be just a bit more comfortable sleeping in there than on the floor in steerage. Do you think that anyone will mind?”

She did not wait for an answer, but pressed the need to get the blankets down below. “If you will excuse me, these are required downstairs.”

Elizabeth walked away, surprised by this man’s character. Her first impression of him had been that he entertained feelings of superiority and disdain for the common passengers on this ship, and that out of his own mouth. Now she had just seen evidence that he might possess a little compassion for others. And then there was something about the way he reacted to her comment about the sleeping conditions. What was it? Why would he even be concerned about how people in steerage were faring? She was exceedingly puzzled.

***

Darcy sought out the captain immediately upon leaving Elizabeth. He was not aloft, so Darcy made his way to the captain’s cabin, which was at the front of the ship, just down the hall from his own room. He knocked firmly and impatiently at the door.

Captain Wendell opened the door, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a piece of bread in the other. “Come in, Darcy. I am just having a small breakfast. Would you care to join me?”

“No, thank you, sir. That is not why I am here. I was disturbed by some news I heard and wanted to inquire about it.”

The captain looked up at him questioningly. “What is it, Darcy?”

“I understand that in steerage some of the passengers, the children to be specific, are doubled up in the beds.”

The captain turned and returned to his chair, sitting down and motioning for Darcy to sit down. “That is true. Several ships allow this policy to enable more passengers to afford the crossing. Usually the children do fine sharing their bed with a brother or sister.”

Darcy walked over to the table and sat down opposite Wendell, regarding him intently. “There is a young lady down there who has been forced to sleep on the floor after giving up her bed to a sick child’s mother. She did not ask me to inquire about this, Captain, but might there be another bed available for her? I would gladly make up the difference in her fare.”

The Captain eyed him suspiciously, wondering at his sudden generosity. “I am sorry, Darcy. The ship is full to capacity. There are no extra beds at all on this ship… except the one in your cabin, and I most certainly will not allow her to take that one.”

“There is not another available anywhere?”

The captain shook his head, wondering whether his concern over this matter was directed toward the young lady or how people would feel if they were to find out he was the owner of the ship and go to him with complaints.

“I am sorry, Darcy. This particular young lady friend of yours should claim her bed back. I am sure the child down there will improve in time. It is most likely the motion of the ship, and that should pass soon enough once she is used to it. If I were you, I would not worry about it. There is nothing you can do, and unfortunately, it happens all the time.”

Darcy turned in exasperation. She is not my particular lady friend! he thought to himself. Yet for some odd reason he was repeatedly being thrown in her presence, and he continually found his mind agreeably engaged on this lively, perplexing, and slightly familiar-looking woman with very fine eyes!

“Is that all, Darcy?” the captain asked.

“Yes.” He turned toward the door.

“Darcy?”

“Hmmm?” Darcy looked at him with a single raised brow.

“I do not fully understand why you are taking such an interest in this lady’s situation, but I would not go about entertaining thoughts about her.”

Darcy tried to interrupt and deny that he had any intention of doing such a thing, but the captain raised his hand to stop him. “Darcy, just remember. I will not allow any impropriety on my ship.”

Darcy took in a deep breath. “Yes, sir. As I said earlier, I am grateful for that.”

He left, closing the door behind him, and set out for the top deck to take a determinedly brisk walk before the majority of the passengers came up.

***

Elizabeth returned below and placed the folded blankets and extra pillow on her bed to use that night. People were beginning to stir, and Elizabeth was grateful she was already up and dressed, although if she could, she would curl up in her bed and fall asleep. It was now vacated and had been straightened out by Mrs. Rawlings. And despite the narrow, thin mattress, it looked extremely inviting.

She inquired how Pauline was faring, and Mrs. Rawlings answered that she was sleeping, but still had a high fever. She was now, however, concerned for Penelope, who was complaining of feeling unwell, herself.

Elizabeth recognized the drawn look of fatigue on Mrs. Rawlings’s face, as well, and wondered if she was beginning to come down with what was ailing her daughters.

“May I inquire how you are faring, Mrs. Rawlings?”

“Thank you for your concern, Miss Bennet. I am just a little tired.”

By the way she avoided looking at her, Elizabeth concluded that she did not own up to the complete truth. Elizabeth believed her to be concealing her ailment so she could continue to care for her daughters.

“Mrs. Rawlings, if there is anything I can do to help you, please do not hesitate to ask. If you need some rest, or if you need to get up and get some fresh air, I would be more than willing to watch over your girls for you.”

A look of relief passed over Mrs. Rawlings’s countenance. “Miss Bennet, you are too kind. Have you had anything to eat yet?”

“Actually, no. I might go up now and secure a bite, and then I shall return immediately to keep an eye on your daughters so you may go up. If I see your husband, I shall let him know you will be up shortly.”

“Thank you, Miss Bennet.”

“Please, call me Elizabeth.”

“And you must call me Lenore.”

“I shall return momentarily, Lenore.”

Elizabeth walked up the two levels of stairs to the deck where the eating area was located. She glanced around the room and recognized some women from steerage who were eating with their families. She walked over to join them; greeting those she had already met and introducing herself to those she had not, and settled into an easy conversation with them.

Elizabeth had a natural gift for meeting and conversing easily with people, and her sharp wit and lively personality endeared her to many. But the prominent thing that people noticed about her was how she reached out in concern to others.

When Elizabeth returned to steerage after eating that morning, she found Mrs. Rawlings fatigued and feeling quite ill. She knew it would benefit her greatly to get some rest, so Elizabeth offered to run back up, get some food for her and her daughters, and bring it back down to them.

Elizabeth returned with some hardtack bread, a few pieces of fruit, water, and tea, but Mrs. Rawlings took only a little liquid nourishment. Neither of the girls appeared to be hungry; they seemed not at all interested in what she had brought them. Elizabeth did all she could to get them to at least take some liquid, and when it was quite apparent that they would not eat, she simply made an effort to keep them comfortable and still.

She later returned up to the top deck when the girls and Mrs. Rawlings had fallen asleep. She was anxious for a walk, although it was quite difficult with so many people aloft. The ship itself also had obstacles that made it difficult to take a leisurely, pleasant walk without having to walk around things. Elizabeth decided if she wanted to get a walk in each day, something she definitely desired, she would have to do it early in the morning when few people would be up.

While up on deck, Elizabeth noticed Mr. Rawlings and informed him that his wife and daughters were unwell. She told him she had brought them something to eat, but they would likely be resting for the remainder of the day.

By late afternoon, Elizabeth was weary, having spent much of her day sitting with either Mrs. Rawlings or her daughters, and occasionally going aloft for a break and the respite of fresh air. She ate as soon as the meal was ready, but instead of staying up to visit with others as she would have liked, she returned to steerage and readied herself for bed, hoping to fall asleep early and get a good night’s sleep. She curled herself up on the floor and while a trace of light was still making its way down the hatch, she pulled out a sampler she had brought along and began stitching. As the light eventually diminished, and with her eyelids growing heavy, she lay down, but the sounds of coughing, sickness, and children crying continued to assault her, preventing any real success at falling asleep again for the second night in a row.

Earlier in the evening, but after Elizabeth had returned to steerage, Darcy entered the dining area, book in hand. As his eyes quickly scanned the room, he looked for a suitable place to sit, but in reality he was seeking out a particular young lady. Being unable to locate her, he settled for a table off to the side that had some room on the end of one of the benches. There were other people sitting there, a family, but since none of the women he had been trying to avoid were anywhere near, he decided to settle himself there. From where he was sitting he was also able to keep an eye toward the door, enabling him to see who walked in.

Seated with him were a middle-aged gentleman, his wife, and their two sons. Mr. Jennings made the introductions to his wife and sons. Darcy did not need to worry about making any kind of effort in conversing with his dining partners, as Mr. Jennings seemed content to carry on quite admirably himself, with Darcy only making an occasional sound of agreement or nod of his head. Mrs. Jennings occasionally looked at him with a somewhat embarrassed look as her husband carried on, but she contributed very little to the discourse. Darcy was content to sit and tune out the endless chattering of this man while his mind was solely preoccupied with one particular lady whom he was hoping to see tonight.

If he had only to put up with Mr. Jennings’s droning monologue, he would have been able to endure the evening. As the evening grew later, however, his frustration increased as he was not allowed to be content just sitting—had not even been able to pick up his book—but was approached by several others requesting him to join them in their table games, or conversation, or a smoke or drink. He was easily suspicious of their reasons for singling him out for company. He politely declined, knowing he would not be able to concentrate on anything but where she might be tonight.

She, the vivacious woman with the fine eyes, did not come up at all that he could see. Instead of his thoughts being able to dwell on her, he was continually assaulted with the presence of those whose sole objective was to make sure this man took notice of them.

After enduring only what he could while still remaining civil, he finally excused himself from those around him, grasping book in hand, and retreated to his room for the remainder of the evening.

***

The next morning, as soon as sunlight poured down through the hatch, Elizabeth awakened. She was not sure how much she had slept, but by the way she felt, she knew it had again been insufficient. There were only a few others in steerage who had awakened. She slowly pulled herself up and began readying herself for another day, remembering to offer up a prayer for the Lord to continue to watch over them.

Once she came up on deck, she breathed in the fresh air. How invigorating just a breath of fresh air made her feel. The staleness of the air down below seemed intent on taking away any morsel of energy she had, but up here she felt alive and revitalized, despite her lack of sleep.

She began walking, up one side of the ship and back on the other. She walked briskly, watching the sailors man the sails and attend to their morning chores and looking out to the vast sea, hoping to catch sight of the dolphins that she had heard often could be seen soaring alongside the ship. She quickly plotted out the best course along the deck to avoid the obstacles scattered throughout.

After having walked up and back a couple of times, she became aware of someone walking behind her. Thinking it was a crewman, she stepped over toward the right so she would be out of his way and he could pass. At length that person’s strides brought him to her side. But instead of passing her, he slowed his pace and began walking alongside of her. She glanced over, surprised to see that it was Mr. Darcy.

She was not sure whether he seemed surprised to see her when she turned her head, but he did appear uncertain about what to say.

Never to be at a loss for words or intimidated by wealth or rank, Elizabeth greeted him. “Good morning, Mr. Darcy! Pleasant morning for a walk.”

“Yes it is.” They both continued in their stride and he looked at her oddly. “It is apparent you know my name, but I am at a loss to know yours.”

For some inexplicable reason her heart made a tiny erratic leap as he inquired about her name. It went undetected by Darcy, however, and she answered, “Please forgive me. I overheard someone mention your name the other day, Mr. Darcy. I am Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

Darcy glanced down at her. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Bennet.”

They turned their attention to their walk, and after a brief silence, Darcy asked, “They mentioned me? And what precisely did they say?”

Elizabeth cast a glance up at him, a single eyebrow briefly arching. A smile crept across her face, recalling the rumours that people were spreading about him.

“I believe, sir, that one person claimed you owned your own castle.”

“Is that so?”

Elizabeth nodded. “I am afraid it is, Mr. Darcy. It was settled that you almost certainly own a large estate, a castle, an island, or, I might add, possibly your own country. I am surprised no one thought of the likelihood that you might also own this ship!”

Darcy tensed as she made this last remark, but realized by the smile on her face that she was saying it in jest. “What do you think?” he asked.

She pondered whether to tell him what her opinion of him was, which was based on what she overheard him say that first day. “What I think is of no importance. And it is no one’s business but your own, at any rate.”

He turned his eyes forward, feeling fairly secure that word had not leaked out of his ownership of Pemberley’s Promise. The two walked practically in step. Elizabeth felt awkward that he most likely felt obligated to remain with her as they continued, given that they were the only two passengers up on the deck. They had walked nearly the full length of the ship before he was to speak again.

“May I inquire, Miss Bennet, have you worked out the sleeping arrangements in a satisfactory manner?”

She turned to look up at him, almost as surprised that he remembered as that he was asking about it.

“Unfortunately no. The woman to whom I gave my bed is now ill, and I could not, in good conscience, ask for it back. So I find myself sleeping on the floor again. It is of no consequence. I have done it often enough at home.”

She detected a deep, aggravated sigh from him, but he said nothing. His only response was to bring up his hand and brusquely rub his chin.

He did not make further effort to converse with her, and seemed lost in thought as they walked. She cast a furtive glance up at him to see if she could detect whether he was irritated by her presence, oblivious to it, or took any sort of pleasure in it. She was certain it was not the latter, but was hard-pressed to discern which of the other two it was.

They walked another two lengths of the ship in silence, Elizabeth pondering why he felt he must remain with her if he had no intention of talking with her, other than about the sleeping conditions in steerage.

But if she was surprised by his earlier question, she was astonished by his next comment.

“I did not see you up in the dining area last night.”

Elizabeth stammered for some sense to come forth. Certainly he was simply stating a fact. He could not mean anything by it, and she would be a fool to interpret it any other way.

“I took an early supper in the dining hall and then returned to steerage directly.”

Darcy nodded but wondered if her sleeping on the floor was as tolerable as she claimed it to be.

During the course of their walk, more passengers began making their way up, and Elizabeth felt the necessity to return to steerage and check on the Rawlingses.

“Mr. Darcy, if you will excuse me, I need to return down below.”

“Certainly, Miss Bennet. I enjoyed our walk this morning.”

As Elizabeth walked away, there was a moment when a memory teased her thoughts like an image from a dream that you try to recall but evaporates before it can be fully recollected. She had an odd sensation of having been at the receiving end of his approving deference before. A long time ago.

***

Darcy returned to his room. He did not have to remind himself that he enjoyed the company of Miss Bennet a great deal more than he should. She had neither the breeding, nor was she of the sphere of society into which he was expected to marry. Everything about her position resonated against his better judgment. Viewed in a rational light, he knew he should take his walks at some other time in the course of the day and thus avoid any more of Miss Bennet’s delightful company.

He shook his head. He did not want to give up his early morning walks, but for his own peace of mind, he determined it would be best that he keep his distance from her at all other times while on this voyage.