Chapter 19
The next day, Mark had sent her a text message and asked her to meet him at Dean & Deluca’s, downtown. He’d mentioned that he wanted to take her somewhere. They had a cup of coffee and then hopped into his car.
He took her to the Adam’s Mark Hotel and they ended up in one of the conference rooms. A tall, attractive black woman with long, dark hair stood at the front of the room. A huge banner hung in the background. Dare to Dream: an empowerment seminar for women.
“What the hell am I here for?” Jennifer
asked.
“Just to hear this woman’s story; it’s incredible.”
After everyone was seated, the woman began. “Hello, everybody.
My name is Dream Nelson and I have HIV. I just
wanted to say that first.”
A series of murmurs flowed from the crowd.
Jennifer nudged Mark. “I’m still not understanding.” Jennifer
couldn’t believe the woman had HIV. She looked so beautiful. Her
skin was flawless; her teeth were straight; and she was dressed so
well.
Dream continued. “First of all, I want to say that I had a very
privileged life growing up. Both my parents were educators, and I
went to Catholic school all my life. In fact, I was a teacher as
well.”
Jennifer sighed as if bored.
“But I had an attraction for bad boys, drug dealers in particular.
I don’t know what it was, but living on the edge kind of gave me a
rush; and my parents warned me to stay away from those bad boys. My
friend Keisha warned me.” Dream pointed to Keisha, who held up a
hand.
“My last boyfriend had me trafficking drugs. And I know some of you
are probably wondering how a woman so beautiful and intelligent
could get caught up in something like that.” Dream Nelson paced a
little, taking her eyes off the crowd briefly.
“I had low self esteem. I didn’t value myself, and when a certain
man came along and told me I was the greatest thing since sliced
bread, I loved him, and I loved everything he represented. He
showered me with gifts and gave me affection; took me on trips,
bought me expensive bags and jewelry, and everything. I know
there’s someone in this audience that knows this type of man. Dream
looked at a couple of younger girls on the front row who were
wearing flashy jewelry.
“I got stopped in the airport and was strip searched. The police
looked in my vagina for drugs. But did I leave him? No.”
One lady in the back raised her hand and asked. “How did you get
HIV?”
“Good question,” Dream Nelson said. “I will get to that in a
minute.”
Jennifer watched Dream. She didn’t appear to be a drug user, so she
figured she’d gotten HIV from a man, probably the drug dealer she
was talking about.
“I think too many women are out here suffering from esteem issues.
Some of us want to gain weight. Others want to loose weight. Some
seek plastic surgery. I’m here to tell you that you don’t need
validation from a man, and to watch the company that you hang with
because they can bring you down. The feds came to me about my
boyfriend … you know, the drug-dealer, the one that told me I was
the best thing since sliced bread … asked me to tell them what I
knew about him … told me that they knew I was taking trips with him
to California, and that it was just a matter of time before I went
down with him unless I told.”
A large black woman with a large mole on her jaw raised her hand
and said, “I would have told them everything I knew.” She highfived
her friend.
“Most people would have told the feds,” Dream said. “Not me. I was
in love. In love with a dealer, and I couldn’t see not being there
for my man. He even murdered somebody, and I didn’t say anything
about him. Had he lived, I could have gone down with him. But he
was killed by the police in a shoot-out.”
Her eyes were watery now. “Then came the shock that I’d tested
positive for HIV.”
An attractive woman on the front row came to her side and grabbed
the microphone. “Hello, I’m Ms. Nelson’s best friend, Keisha
Ferguson. We’ve been best friends since we were ten years
old.”
The crowd applauded and Keisha continued. “We’re here to get women
excited about living and being self-sufficient. I’m not saying you
don’t need a man, but a man should never determine your
selfworth.”
Dream Nelson held up a paperback book then said, “Your Selfworth is the name of the book that my best
friend and I co-authored, and it will give you lessons on esteem
issues, the value of your body, why it’s best to make him wait for
sex, and how sometimes we fix ourselves up to be characters for men.”
Keisha laughed. “What she means by becoming a character is we
sometimes overdo it with the colored contacts, fake nails, and long
eyelashes just to be sexy for our man. Not saying we shouldn’t be
sexy, because if you aren’t sexy another woman will be. But don’t
become something you’re not just to please a man.” She paused.
“Again, the title of the book is Your
Self-worth and it’s going for fifteen dollars,” Keisha said.
“Now Miss Nelson will answer some questions.”
A redhead on the front row raised her hand. “Do you think you made
a mess of your life?”
Dream Nelson smiled. “I don’t think so. I’ve made some bad
decisions, just like everybody else, but … I like what my life has
become. I’m a bestselling author and lecturer, and a business
woman; and I’m helping people all over the world. My books have
sold over a million copies.”
The fat woman on the front row asked, “Do you miss
teaching?”
“Yes and no. I miss the kids, but I’m still teaching in a sense;
I’m teaching adults.”
The fat woman’s friend asked, “Do you hate men?”
Ms. Nelson laughed. “Absolutely not. I love men … I adore men. It’s
just that I picked the wrong one and it cost me dearly.”
Jennifer raised her hand and was recognized. “Ms. Nelson, first of
all, I would like to say that you’re beautiful. You look like a
fashion model or something. My question is this: How did you go
from being a drug dealer’s girlfriend that was pampered and spoiled
to being as successful as you are?”
Dream Nelson blushed and said, “Thanks for the fashion model
compliment. To answer your question, going from a drug dealer’s
girlfriend to being a successful business woman was not easy. First
of all, when I found out I had HIV, I tried to kill myself. I
didn’t want to deal with life; I didn’t want to be here. After all,
why me? But when I sat and reflected on all the decisions that I’d
made in life, I had to ask myself, why not me? Yeah, my boyfriend
Jamal is the reason that I got infected with the virus, but I’m a
firm believer that we’re ninety percent responsible for what
happens to us, and I take full responsibility for what happened to
me. Having a great support group of friends and family and living a
good, spiritual life will help you with anything. Happiness is not
money or fame, but perception,” Dream Nelson said. “One more
question then I will sign books.”
A well-groomed black man in a business suit raised his
hand.
Ms. Nelson pointed to him and smiled.
“Do you have a man in your life?”
“Ladies and gentlemen, the man that asked the question is my
fiancée of two years. He’s also a successful businessman. So you
see, I’m very happy.”
The crowd applauded.
Dream walked to the back of the room and sat at a table. The book
signing line formed quickly.
Three hundred and twelve books were sold. She’d signed in
Jennifer’s book, Get out of that situation
...You have to live. Love, Dream.”
Alicia opened the door and Tommy stood before
her. She gave him a kiss and invited him in.
When he sat down he looked a little troubled. “What’s
worng?”
“Well, I haven’t been totally honest with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to tell you that I have a woman … and she’s living with
me.”
She frowned. “Tommy, what the hell is going on here?”
He avoided her eyes. “I didn’t know what to tell you. All I know is
that I want you, and I was willing to do whatever it takes to get
you. I’m sorry I lied.”
“So what’s up with this girl? Do you love her?”
“I only care about her. We don’t even have sex.”
“So why do you stay in that situation? Why be with someone that you
don’t love?”
“I don’t know. I think we just got comfortable with each
other.”
“So what are we going to do now?” She walked to him. “I was
starting to like you.”
“I like you, too. I mean, I want to be with you.”
“So go get your stuff and move in with me.”
He laughed but didn’t answer.
She looked serious and said, “Hey … I want you to come live with
me.”
“I can’t do that. We barely know each other. How do you know if you
can live with me?”
“I don’t, but I do know that I don’t want you living with
her.”
Tommy was silent. He knew he had made a mistake telling her about
his girlfriend, but he felt better. He was no longer hiding
anything.
“Tommy, do you love her?”
“I already told you I’m not in love with her.”
“What’s her name?”
“Nia.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Yeah.”
“Does she look better than me?”
“No.”
“Why are you with her, Tommy? You said y’all don’t have
sex.”
Tommy turned and faced Alicia. He remembered the first day they’d
met, how she’d played hard to get, her comment about not dating
drug dealers, and how she was so confident and secure. How did she
go from being so secure to being a very insecure woman? It didn’t
make sense, but it had happened before. He had met women who said
they didn’t want to be in a relationship and, as time went on, he
had gotten to know them and taken them on dates and bought them
jewelry. And the next thing he knew they either wanted to get
married or didn’t want to let him out of their sight. They would
call him every other hour and ask stupid questions: Where you been?
Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?, Who is that female in the
background?, Why can’t you spend more time with me? All of this
because they’d enjoyed his company and money. He doubted very
seriously if they wanted him for sex.
“Hey, I’m going to handle the situation.”
“How?”
“I’m going to get my own place.”
Alicia smiled. “That’s what I want to hear.”
Tommy had five hundred thousand dollars. He was halfway there. He agreed that Alicia’s father would fly into town, get the money, and put it in a safe place. He didn’t know why, but he trusted Don with his money. All he kept thinking about was the fact that he would own a high-rise building. He would be an investor in something legal. He could leave the game alone for sure. It was funny how he was thinking about retiring; he was making faster money than ever before with the pills. Everybody wanted X, and he’d become the city’s largest X dealer.
He’d taken the money to Alicia’s house but was
back at home by two in the morning.
Nia had been out with her friends. She didn’t arrive until later in
the morning.
He heard her tiptoeing into the house. “Where the fuck have you
been?” he asked
“I was out with my friend Rasheeda.”
“Til five in the morning?”
“It is not five in the morning.”
Tommy looked at the clock on the dresser. “Okay, it’s 4:30. What
the fuck is the difference? The bottom line is that you’re being
disrespectful.”
“I’m disrespectful, nigga? You’re
disrespectful. We get robbed, I get raped for your ass, and all you
can think about is the fact that I like to party with my
friends?”
“All you think about doing is running the streets.”
“You be at the clubs, too.”
Tommy walked closer, rubbed his chin, and then pointed at her. “The
difference between me and you is that I fuckin own this place. You
don’t pay shit, so you need to go home.”
“Fuck you! I’ll go home and never come back to this fuckin
place.”
“Go home, then.”
“You know what? I know that’s what you want, so I’m going to stay
just ‘cause you want me to go.”
Tommy went to the bedroom closet and started pulling out Nia’s
clothes and throwing them all over the floor. “You’re going to
leave here or I’m going to leave. It’s one or the other.”
Nia ran over to Tommy and punched him in the face.
“You better leave then, muthafucka.”
“I will,” Tommy said.