Jane

I’m packing my suitcase, ready to get back to a world that makes sense to me when the phone rings. I see Ronnie’s name light up the caller ID screen, and I about burst.

“Hi, Sweetie!”

“Hey, Mom, how are you this morning?”

“Well, I’m getting things packed up, once again racing from the shambles I’ve managed to create in L.A. This city doesn’t like me, and now it seems, neither do you.”

“Mom, I need time is all. This will blow over. It has to because I know you would never do anything to hurt me, and you’re my mom. I love you.”

“I wouldn’t, Ronnie. I’ve done some stupid things in my day, but never would I hurt you on purpose.”

“So I have a favor to ask of you then.”

“A favor? Anything son.”

“Find Davis and marry him. Mom, he loves you, and you’ve given too much of your life away trying to protect us. You can’t keep running. Sometimes, you have to stop and feel the pain. It’s no fun. Trust me, it’s no fun, but it’s necessary.”

“You’re giving me advice on romance?”

“I would never feel qualified to do that.” He laughs. “I’m giving you advice on keeping what’s good around.”

“You met Mitch then?”

“I did. I like him. He holds his pencil the same way I do.”

“How would you know that?”

“We had breakfast. We’re going to have breakfast every Sunday for a while. Get to know each other.”

“I’m glad. Can I give you one piece of advice?”

“That depends.”

“Don’t rescue women. Your namesake always did that.”

“I’m not rescuing anyone.”

“I know what you like in women, son. I saw it in the sixth grade, when you went on and on about Julia Suarez. The poor girl had that lisp, and everyone made fun of her. You fell in love immediately.”

“I’m afraid I wasn’t that sympathetic, Mom. She hit puberty early, and I was twelve. That’s when I was making my decisions hormonally. You take care of yourself.”

“I’ll take care of myself. The diabetes is in check. I promise.”

“When are you leaving? I’ll need you to leave the fax online so that anything that needs to be signed can be sent down there and returned quickly.”

“Oh, that’s right! I still haven’t talked to Mitch about—”

“Mitch and I have the will all worked out. Don’t you worry. He won’t be making any claims.”

His comment fills me with questions, but I don’t want to lose my son over telling him how to run his life, so I clamp my mouth tightly.

“I’m leaving tomorrow. I think it’s best if I’m gone when Lindsay returns. She’s ready for her house back, and I’m sure Davis is ready for me to get back to my old life, if he still wants me in his old life. I haven’t even spoken with him since he called about the gallery being low on stock, so I’m certain that—”

“Davis isn’t there, Mom.”

“What do you mean he isn’t there?”

“Davis isn’t at the house, and he isn’t running the gallery. He hired a woman from Xalapa. He’s gone. He wanted me to break it to you gently and asks that you respect his wishes.”

“Ronnie, Davis has always said that—”

“No, this time, he’s gone. He left the house and gallery in the care of this woman. She has a son that I’m going to enroll at the school. Davis left you a note. I’m so sorry, Mom.”

I feel as though my heart might stop. “You talked to him? Didn’t you just tell me to go back to him?”

“I did, but I didn’t say it was going to be easy. Nothing worth having ever is. Davis called me because he thought if he talked to you, he might change his mind. He still loves you deeply. I wish you could tell him you feel the same, but it may be too late this time. But I have faith in you, Mom.”

“You’re telling me I’m going home to an empty house, and that he couldn’t wait to tell me personally? But I should run after him and not be too proud to beg?”

“Precisely. Davis is gone. He said he couldn’t playact as your husband any longer.”

“Playact?” I force myself to catch my breath. Those are nearly the exact words I used to describe my own situation with Ron. I couldn’t have done that to another human being. “We’ve been through so much together. Surely, he’d tell me this himself. Ronnie, you know that Davis and I—”

“He was worried he wouldn’t follow through. I told you, Mom. You don’t always make it easy for people to tell you their truth.”

I’m crushed and in disbelief. “You can’t trust anyone in this world.”

“You can trust God.”

“Oh, for crying out loud, Ronnie. Grow up! I’m talking about reality here.”

He hangs up on me.

I believe in the law of attraction. Clearly, I’m attracting a swell of garbage, so I must be doing something to get such a violent reaction from the men I love.

The world is a very dark place to be sometimes.