‘Is there anything else you need tonight?’
It was the night nurse standing in the doorway. One hand held a tray of pill cups and the other had a firm grip on the door handle. She looked stressed.
‘No thanks, we’ll be fine now. Isn’t that right, Eva?’
The last dregs of gruel ran through the probe into her stomach, and he stroked her brow lightly.
‘Good night, then. And if I don’t see you before the end of my shift, good luck in the morning.’
‘Thanks.’
She smiled and closed the door behind her. He liked the staff better here at Huddinge Hospital. They knew how to appreciate his efforts and openly showed their admiration at his devotion.
Forty-three days.
And tomorrow the final examination would begin. Tiny electrodes would be inserted and would measure one last time whether the activity in her brain had increased.
In a few days they would know.
He took her hand to drive away the worry that was trying to get to him.
‘Everything will be fine, darling. We’re fine where we are.’
Then he pulled back the covers and raised up the light-blue County Council Hospital gown, took the skin lotion out of the bedside table, drew a white stripe along her left leg. With even strokes he massaged the calf, continuing across the knee and further towards the groin.
‘Your mother is really a fantastic woman. I’m so glad she and I are getting along so well.’
He carefully lifted her leg, put one hand behind her knee and bent it cautiously several times.
‘Good, Eva.’
He went round the bed and drew another stripe on the other leg.
‘Did you hear that we were talking about letting Axel come along sometime too? But she’s probably right, we ought to wait for the results of the EEG first, so we know what to tell him. It might be best if I met him somewhere else before we see each other here. Maybe I should take him to Gröna Lund amusement park, would he like that? Or maybe Skansen would be better?’
He straightened out her leg, arranged it on the bottom sheet and drew his index finger across her cheek. Reached for the brush and ran it a few times through her hair.
‘So, my love, now you look fine. Is there anything else you want me to do before we go to sleep?’
He took off his T-shirt and trousers, folded them and placed them on the visitor’s chair. Then he reached out to turn off the bed lamp but hesitated. Stopped and looked at her, letting his gaze follow the contours of her body under her gown.
‘My God, how beautiful you are.’
The calm he longed for came over him. Yet another whole night’s sleep without the compulsion being able to get to him.
So grateful.
Carefully he lay down on his side next to her, pulled the covers over them and cupped his hand over one breast.
‘Good night, my darling.’
Gently he pressed his crotch against her left thigh and felt the growing arousal, remembering her hands that once so matter-of-factly had sought out his secrets.
He wanted only one thing.
Only one.
That she would hold him and tell him that he never had to be afraid any more.
Never be alone again.
‘Don’t be afraid, my love, I’m here with you, always.’
He would never leave her.
Never ever.