FIVE
THE GIFT OF
FRIENDS
It is a wealthy person, indeed,
who calculates riches
not in gold but in friends.
who calculates riches
not in gold but in friends.
The next morning,
Miss Hastings let me know that Jason Stevens had arrived and would
be waiting in the conference room. After his successful journey
into the realm of work and money, I had hoped that his sullen
attitude would have improved; however, upon entering the conference
room, I rapidly discovered this was not the case. Before I could
even sit down, he started in on me.
“Look. Why do I have
to go through all this stuff? This is ridiculous. You have a copy
of the will. You must know what it is that I’m going to inherit.
Why don’t we just cut through all the garbage and get down to the
bottom line?”
I smiled at him and
said, “Good morning, Jason. It’s nice to see you, too. I had hoped
after your great-uncle’s lesson in money, you would be more
understanding of this process.”
I rose to my feet
slowly—which is not unusual when you’re eighty years old. I gave
him a stare that I had used successfully during my years as a
judge. “Young man,” I said, “you have two—and only two—options. You
can go through this process the way Red Stevens laid it out for
you, or you can quit right now; but I will tell you one thing, your
attitude is putting you dangerously close to losing the ultimate
gift that your great-uncle planned for you.”
Jason leaned back in
his chair and sighed. “Okay, let’s get on with it,” he said.
“What’s next?”
Miss Hastings brought
in the box and set it on the table next to me. I took out the next
videotape, and Miss Hastings started the VCR. Once again Red
Stevens appeared and began to speak.
“Jason, as you heard
me tell Mr. Hamilton at your first meeting, he is quite simply my
best friend. Friend is a word that is
thrown around far too easily by people who don’t know the meaning
of it. Today, people call everyone they know their friend. Young
man, you’re lucky if you live as long as I have and can count your
real friends on the fingers of both hands.
“I am now going to
share a story with you, Jason, that I promised I would never tell
as long as I lived. Since you are watching this after my death, and
in the presence of the one whom I promised, I feel comfortable
sharing it. As you know, I lived past my seventy-fifth birthday and
enjoyed what to most people was a long and healthy life. But this
was not always a sure thing.
“I remember when I
had just turned thirty-eight years old and was hospitalized with an
extreme fever. The doctors weren’t sure what was wrong with me, so
they brought in every specialist from across the country. Finally,
I was diagnosed as having a rare kidney disease which was
incurable. The only hope they gave me was a new procedure called a
kidney transplant.
“You’ve got to
realize that this was unheard of at that time, and donors were not
readily available as they are today. I called Mr. Hamilton, who has
always acted as my attorney, and told him we would need to start a
nationwide search to find me a kidney. I was very frightened
because the specialist had told me that without the transplant I
might not have more than a few weeks. You can imagine my relief
when Mr. Hamilton called me two days later and told me he had
located a kidney on the East Coast.
“Well, as I’m sure
you can guess, the operation was a success and gave me back over
half of my adult life. What I’m sure you couldn’t guess, and what
no one has known until now, is that the kidney that Mr. Hamilton
found was his own.”
Red paused on the
videotape to take a drink of water, and young Jason Stevens stared
at me in disbelief. On the big screen, Red continued. “There’s only
one way in the world to explain something like that, and it’s
called friendship. Now, Jason, I know you think you have a lot of
friends. But the reality is, you have a lot of people who simply
want your money or the things it will buy. Except for your time
with Gus Caldwell, you’ve never worked a day in your life nor done
anything I would call productive. But you have been the life of the
party and an easy touch for a lot of weak hangers-on you casually
call friends.
“During the next
thirty days, I want you to spend a lot of time thinking and
observing. I want you to find what you feel to be the principles
that underlie true friendship, and I want you to be able to report
to Mr. Hamilton an example of true friendship that demonstrates
your principles. Jason, you will never do anything in your life
that will bring more quality to your existence than growing to
understand and nurture friendship.”
The videotape ended,
and Jason seemed to be deep in thought. Finally, he blurted out, “I
don’t understand. I mean—”
I interrupted him. “I
know you don’t understand. That’s the whole point. I only hope that
you will remember your great-uncle’s words and, for your sake, by
the end of the month you are at least beginning to understand. I
will look forward to your report.”
I walked out of the
conference room, leaving young Jason Stevens to his
assignment.
On the last day of
the month, Miss Hastings called into my office to let me know that
Jason had set up an appointment and would be arriving within the
hour. I sat back and thought about my lifelong friend, Red Stevens.
I wasn’t sure how you could teach someone the depth to which a
friendship could grow, especially if the person had never
experienced it himself. I will admit to feeling a great sense of
doubt and foreboding as I considered Jason’s prospects of
succeeding in the task Red Stevens had given him.
As we gathered around
the conference table, Miss Hastings and I were quiet. Both of us
were observing Jason’s expression and manner. He seemed to have a
lot on his mind. He gave us each a perfunctory greeting and
muttered, “I hope that … well, I mean … I just don’t—”
Miss Hastings stopped
him by saying, “I believe our agenda today involved your report to
Mr. Hamilton on your progress with respect to understanding
friendship.”
Jason looked at me
doubtfully, and I nodded and gave him a brief smile of
encouragement.
He began. “I thought
a lot about friendship this month, and I tried to come up with the
principles that define friendship. The best I can do is to say that
friendship involves loyalty, commitment, and a process that
includes sharing another person’s life. It even goes deeper than
that, but it’s hard to put into words.
“The best example of
friendship I can give to demonstrate my principles is a story that
Gus Caldwell told me when I was working for him in Texas. He
explained that when he and Uncle Red got started in the cattle
business, they had ranches several miles apart, but they and
several other ranchers all shared the same range. Each spring, all
the ranchers would have what they call a roundup, which apparently
involved collecting and branding all of the new calves, called
yearlings, which had been born since the last roundup.
“As Mr. Caldwell
explained it to me, the young calves simply follow their mothers
wherever they go, so as the cattle are collected, representatives
from each ranch are present to brand each new calf with the same
brand as its mother’s.
“Well, it seems that
early on, Mr. Caldwell was very concerned that Uncle Red wasn’t
going to make it as a rancher. So, during the roundup one year, Gus
simply branded a number of calves that should have been his own
with Uncle Red’s brand. He told me that he figured that he had been
able to give over thirty calves to Uncle Red through that
process.
“But at the end of
the roundup, when Gus performed what is called a tally, which is
simply counting all the cattle with his brand, he found that
instead of being thirty calves short as he thought he should, he
actually had almost fifty more than he started with.
“He was confused
about that incident for many years until, while Mr. Caldwell and
Uncle Red were on a fishing trip, Uncle Red told Gus that when they
first got started, he had been worried about Gus making it in the
business. Since he didn’t want to lose his best friend and
neighbor, he had actually branded a bunch of his calves with Gus
Caldwell’s brand.”
Jason paused and
glanced at both Miss Hastings and me for any sign of approval. He
continued. “That story that Mr. Caldwell told me about my Uncle Red
best describes how I understand each of the elements of friendship.
I know it takes many years to build a friendship like that, but I
think somehow it must be worth it.
“As you know, last
month I met Brian when his car broke down at the side of the road.
I helped him get a new engine for it, and since then we have done
several things together, and I hope that someday we can be friends
like Gus Caldwell and my Uncle Red.”
Jason looked directly
into my eyes and said, “And I hope I can be as good a friend as you
were to Red Stevens.”
I smiled at him and
said, “In my best judgment, you have begun your lifetime lesson in
friendship. The only thing I can tell you is that any effort you
put into a friendship is always returned manyfold.”
I thanked Jason for
sharing the story about Red Stevens and Gus Caldwell. I had known
for half a century that they were both great men and great friends.
Jason’s story, passed to him by Gus Caldwell, was just one more
example of great friendship.
Miss Hastings walked
Jason out of the conference room, leaving me alone with my
memories.
As I sat back in my
chair and remembered my lifelong friend, Red Stevens, I reflected
that our friendship had begun simply and without either of us
understanding what our relationship would grow to be. Jason had
learned the beginnings of how to be a friend, and I hoped that his
new friendship would blossom into a lifelong treasure giving him as
much pleasure as Red Stevens and I had enjoyed.