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The Dave Matthews Electoral Magnet-- And Other Ways to Manufacture a Crowd

Why Whacked-Out Celebrities Matter Far More Than You Think, and How They Create Electoral "Laboratories" for Obama Zombies

What would make you be a good mother or father, sister or brother, or even a caring neighbor? Human decency? Your values? Or the election of a president?

For the Tinsel Town know-nothings who inhabit Hollywood, electing B.H.O. was nothing short of a rediscovery of the basic adult responsibility.

Following the election, Demi Moore and her Punked husband, Ashton Kutcher, produced a video pledging their support to Dear Leader. With them were an all-star cast of Hollywood heavyweights, including Cameron Diaz, Dakota Fanning, Jaime Pressly, Ashlee Simpson, Nicole Richie, Tobey Maguire, Diddy, Alyssa Milano, Marisa Tomei, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette. The hyperbolic lovefest reached operatic heights.

I pledge to end hunger in America, went one line. In the history of the planet, hunger has never been eliminated. But somehow, when cometh Barack, the seas will part, the mountains will crumble, the skies will open, and poverty will henceforth be abolished.

Sweet, bro!

And that's just one line. Kutcher--whom I will grant some slack because he is, after all, married to Demi Moore--defended his video as a clarion call to Hollywood to stand up and help B.H.O. solve the world's ills.

"There's an assumption that this one man is going to take on his new job full-time and somehow wave a magic wand of change, and I don't believe that to be true," Ashton told Reuters. "I think that we have to be the leaders, and that's not celebrities--I think that we as citizens have to be leaders of the movement that we want to create."¹

I pledge to smile more, to laugh more, to love more . . .

I pledge to be a great mother; to be a great father . . .

To be the voice for those who have no voice . . .

I pledge to consider myself an American, not an African- American . . .

This last line is delivered by then-New York Giants linebacker Michael Strahan. Here's a dude who raked in millions on the gridiron who will, now and only now, pledge to refer to himself as an American--because Obama got elected?! Earth to brother Strahan: You freaking won a Super Bowl under the tenure of President Bush. Were you not an American then?

The pledging to the most mind-numbing of basic duties of citizenship rolled on:

To always represent my country with pride, dignity, and honesty . . .

I pledge allegiance to the funk, to the united funk of funkadelica . . .

This last enlightening insight comes from Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Not gonna lie to you--I have no clue what this means. Then again, it's doubtful he did, either. So take heed, kiddies: drugs will make you pledge allegiance to funk.

I pledge to never give anyone the finger when I'm driving again . . .

I pledge to bring awareness to mental disease, to advance stem-cell research . . .

I pledge to show more love to strangers . . . [especially strangers who hate America and loathe her existence]

I pledge to be a better mentor to my younger sisters . . .

For the environment, I pledge to flush only after a deuce, never a single . . . [Liberals have a strange fascination with doo-doo.]

I pledge . . .

To work to make good the two-hundred-year-old promise to end slavery . . .

To free one million people from slavery in the next five years . . .

I pledge . . .

I pledge to never stop learning and growing each and every day . . .

And the finale, people:

What's your pledge?

I pledge to be a servant to our president and all mankind.

There you have it, folks. Prior to January 21, 2009, if you happened to have been a delinquent parent, experienced road rage, were ashamed of America, flushed the toilet for "number ones," were a hyphenated American, a pouter, and a supporter of the slave trade, well, no longer! Hollywood and Obama pledged to implant a moral compass in you.

You might be wondering, okay, who gives a donkey's rear about what some pampered actor has to say? And normally, you would be right. Demi Moore may strip with Oscar-winning elegance on camera, but she's in no position to be giving out life advice. But when it comes to my generation, Hollywood matters. Team Obama knew this. And thus they unleashed Tinsel Town like never before, deploying celebrity SWAT teams to battleground states, hosting swank mega-fund-raisers, organizing free concerts (perfect lure bait for aspiring Obama Zombies), cold-calling voters, emailing, and machine-gunning text messages with dizzying regularity and lightning speed.

Celebs were gaga over B.H.O.! And it wasn't surprising they'd help elect the most superficial and egomaniacal candidate we've ever seen. As Tina Daunt of the Los Angeles Times put it, "If Obama loses, there won't be a shrink in Beverly Hills with an hour to spare."²

Kelly Hu of X-Men and Terminator: Salvation declared that B.H.O. "speaks to Asian-Americans because he'd lived amongst us in Asia and in Hawaii." And what if he never was from Hawaii? Well, no matter because "he would still be the most inspiring candidate I've ever seen," added Hu.³

On Obama's victory, Oprah had this orgasmic reaction: "I'm vibrating." Oprah continued, declaring that the election "has been the greatest experience of my lifetime. I haven't seen a sense of unity like this since 9/11. Now, we're all brought together in the name of hope."⁴

And the always classy and tactful Madonna had this to contribute: "I'm so fucking happy right now."⁵

Sherri Shepherd of The View broke down in tears over Obama's victory, recalling that she looked at her baby and said mawkishly, "You don't have to have limitations."⁶

Singer John Mellencamp remarked that while he's written countless songs about racial harmony, even he couldn't believe that "a man of color could be president of the United States." He added, "I am so proud of America."⁷ Nothing like believing that your fellow Americans are all racists, Johnny boy.

Actress Scarlett Johansson said the "overwhelming hope that Obama inspires is infectious."⁸

Hate to break the news to you, but there wasn't a landslide for hope. The election was much closer than you wished. B.H.O. won 53 percent of the vote. On the other hand, 58 million Americans gave your guy the middle finger, and there wasn't any Hollywood star around to pledge them out of it.

Hollywood had a stake in the election. In true self-absorbed lefty style, a victory for Obama would be a self-congratulating victory for the Hollywood elite. And thus the tactics were, in many ways, a confirmation of star power writ large.

For example, musician Dave Matthews sent out an email to a million of his fans to endorse Obama. Rolling Stone asked the musician why he was so passionate about Obama over candidates of the past. And in Matthews, not surprisingly, we have a guy who thinks lack of experience is actually a qualification to be president:

The biggest argument that people can lay against him is his lack of qualifications, which is such an empty argument. The most important qualification a candidate can possess is being able to inspire people to want to do things for the country. The great presidential speeches by people like Kennedy or Lincoln--what made them great were their words, and the fact that they moved mountains with their words. We don't remember JFK's qualifications. We don't remember his connections or his experience in the political arena. What we remember are the qualities that made him stand apart from all that. That's why people are being inspired by Obama. He makes me feel like it is possible to change the world.⁹

Somehow, comparing Abraham Lincoln, the first Republican president, ender of slavery, and preserver of our union, to Barack Obama seems--oh, I don't know--insane. In fact, the only thing the thug from Chicago and the president from Illinois have in common is that without Lincoln, Dave Matthews could have owned Obama.

But Matthews, strangely, went on to defend Obama's inexperience as a plus. He mocked the other candidates for insisting that "you need to have experience in order to be able to move forward."

"What a bunch of crap," said the South African-born singer. "I don't want someone who's experienced in the present-day arena of politics--it's hopelessly failed this country. Both sides of the aisle, without question, have dismally let the American people down. We need a person with fresh ideas and an incredible eloquence that really cuts to the core of so many issues with just a real frankness."¹⁰

Actually, neither Matthews nor any of his ilk can point to a fresh, new idea from Obama. It's warmed-over liberalism, plain and simple. It's more big government and a retread on redistribution of wealth or, as Obama put it famously to Joe the Plumber, "spreading the wealth around." Nothing new in any of this, but to Obama Zombies who have little knowledge of American history (after all, leftists have gutted it as a requirement in America's top colleges and universities), failed liberal policies may seem fresh and new, especially when advocated by their favorite singer or movie star. Ergo the following action hero Obama allusion from Dave Matthews:

I really think Obama could move mountains, not because he's some kind of spectacular superhuman, but because he moves people in a real way. . . . When I look at Obama, I feel like, "Wow, here's this man who's going to try to break down some walls and try and revive the Constitution after the three-decade-long beating it has taken. Maybe we can finally resuscitate that poor old dusty piece of paper that's been kicked into the corner for a long time."¹¹

But perhaps one of Team Obama's best and most effective uses of rockers like Dave Matthews came in the form of a little something I like to call the "Dave Matthews Electoral Magnet" tactic. During the Democrat primary, Obama's team deployed a smart if cynical campaign tactic that is a perfect representation of all that is wrong with the Zombification of my generation. At an Indiana University pro-Hillary rally, Bill Clinton was delivering one of his trademark finger-wagging lectures in support of his wife when Team Obama's Bloomington-based office leapt into warp-speed Zombification mode. As Clinton was speaking, B.H.O.'s minions began handing out free Dave Matthews tickets. You can imagine the viral marketing effect, with college kids burning up their texting keyboards and mad dialing on their iPhones to tell their soon-to-be-Zombified friends that, "Dude, Obama is hooking us up with free Dave Matthews tickets. Leave the Slick Willy speech and come get the free tickets, bro!"

Now you might think that such blatant, crass pandering would hold no sway on young, enlightened minds. But you would be wrong.

"I was leaning toward Obama," said Jason Schechtman, nineteen, of Deerfield, Illinois, a student at IU, "but this sealed the deal for sure." "The Obama campaign announced this right as [Bill Clinton] was about to speak, and it brought everyone from over there to over here."¹²

Behold! The Obama Zombie conversion right before your very eyes!

It's really that depressing and basic. The "feel good," "be cool," "here's free stuff" so-called "dorm storming" tactics that managed to woo historic numbers of young people to vote for Obama by a 2-to-1 margin produced the kind of ephemeral electoral spike it was intended to. A year later, the excitement has vanished. Reality has set in. As the Associated Press's Martha Irvine reported, since the election the Obama "fervor has died down--noticeably." What's more, in a classic case of buyer's remorse, some Zombies show small but encouraging signs of beginning to awaken from their slavish slumber. For example, the AP also conducted a poll that showed only half of 18- to 29-year-olds approve of the way Obama has handled health care, and only 38 percent say they support the health-care plans under consideration by the Democrat Congress.¹³

Still, despite these encouraging tremors of life within the Obama Zombie masses, the fact remains that an entire generation, nodding to the beat of the latest YouTube Zombie clip, helped elect the most unprepared, untested, far-left radical in U.S. history. That chief Obama henchmen David Axelrod and David Plouffe understand the power of celebrity branding and the winning tactics such as the deployment of Dave Matthews Electoral Magnets is certain. As advertising guru Chuck Brymer, president and CEO of DDB Worldwide, which is one of the largest and most influen- tial advertising agencies in the world, noted, the 2008 presiden- tial election "was the election heard round the world. Plouffe's blend of digital and traditional media was spot on and the key driver behind the successful brand story and record campaign fundraising."¹⁴

ANOTHER IMPORTANT ROLE the Obama campaign gave Hollywood involved stoking the flames of Palin Derangement Syndrome.

Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan's onetime lover, said that her fans should vote for Obama because if Palin is elected "my green card probably won't get renewed!!!"¹⁵

Lohan rhetorically asked, "Is our country so divided that the Republicans [sic] best hope is a narrow minded, media-obsessed homophobe?"¹⁶ Lohan also pulled Palin's female card from her: "Women have come a long way in the fight to have the choice over what we do with our bodies. . . . And its [sic] frightening to see that a woman in 2008 would negate all of that."¹⁷

Matt Damon said that it would be a "really scary thing" if Palin became president because McCain didn't survive his first term. A "really bad Disney movie," as he put it. "The hockey mom, you know, 'oh, I'm just a hockey mom' . . . and she's facing down President Putin. . . . It's totally absurd . . . it's a really terrifying possibility. . . ."¹⁸

Pamela Anderson told Palin to "suck it."¹⁹

Pink said, "This woman hates women," and added, "If I were writing a letter to Sarah Palin it would be a lot of whys and hows. Who are you? Do you know? Why do you hate animals? Please point out Iraq on a map. . . ."²⁰

Pink, Palin does love animals--the way most Americans do: killed, fried, and ready to eat.

"Palin, what's that?" erupted Russell Simmons at MTV's VMA awards. "He [McCain] went all the way to the right and got the most conservative person who knows nothing about the strug- gle of most Americans and made her the vice presidential nominee. That's amazing. Any skirt will do."²¹

Nothing like a sexist lecture on the plight of the common man from a rap mogul who spends his time in million-dollar mansions and zipping around the planet in his private jet.

Diddy, on one of his YouTube videos, had this message to John McCain: "You are bugging the fuck out. I don't even understand what planet you're on right now . . . Alaska? Come on man. I don't know if there are even any black people in Alaska. . . ."

Not only did the alleged lack of black people in Alaska "bug" Diddy out, but he was also concerned that "there's not even no crackheads in Alaska." Ah yes, the gold standard in the picking of a vice president. Does your state have any crackheads? No? Well then, clearly you aren't qualified. Crackheads by the dozen in your state? Straight to the front of the line for leader of the free world!

Diddy summed up his Obama Zombie logic with this stirring message: "I'm calling all youth. All Colors. All youth voters. November 4th we have to protect our future, and John McCain is bugging the fuck out, okay? . . . You need to get versed on black policies and youth policies."²²

AXELROD AND PLOUFFE'S ability to manufacture crowds led by Hollywood's brightest lights was only the beginning, though. It was the transition from concert to get-out-the-vote strategy that delivered Change We Could Believe In. Enter the Boss, Bruce Spring- steen. In the leadup to the election, Springsteen volunteered his time to star at Obama rallies in key battleground states. In Pennsylvania, Springsteen drew tens of thousands at the Benjamin Franklin Parkway. After heaping angelic levels of praise on Obama, the New Jersey rocker called President Bush a "disaster" and claimed that too many people have "lost faith" in the American dream.

"I've spent 35 years writing about America and its people and the meaning of the American promise--a promise handed down right here in this city. Our everyday citizens . . . have justifiably lost faith in its meaning."²³

Springsteen's free concert at Ohio State University drew more than ten thousand young people, fresh subjects for Obama-style lobotomies. The Boss said Obama would lead an "American reclamation project" to revive the country's global image. "Despite the terrible erosion to our standing in the world," said the international-relations expert Springsteen, "we remain for many people a house of dreams. And 1000 George Bushes and 1000 Dick Cheneys will never be able to tear that house down." With its usual savvy for well-timed and seamlessly coordinated get-out-the-vote tactics, Springsteen's appearance was designed to capitalize on a loophole that allowed Ohio residents to register and vote on the same day.²⁴

The Boss performed a free concert at Eastern Michigan University and even a fund-raiser in Manhattan with the Piano Man, Billy Joel. The ritzy event offered another chance at some good ol' Palin bashing. In front of twenty-five hundred people, Springsteen told the gathering, "Billy and I have rehearsed a little, but I hope you consider this more like the vice presidential debate. You have to sort of Palin-ize your expectations. We seem like we know a lot, but we don't, really." The crowd laughed on cue.²⁵

The NBA superstar LeBron James and famed rapper Jay-Z also got in on the action, hosting free concerts in Ohio called "Last Chance for Change." Before Jay-Z began spitting out lyrics, the twenty thousand fans packed inside Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland were shown a thirty-minute Obama informercial on the JumboTron.

Once the rally kicked off, Jay-Z had this to say of B.H.O.: "Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk, and Martin walked so Obama could run. Obama is running so we all can fly, so let's fly."²⁶ LeBron, meanwhile, spent his time bobbing and bouncing on stage, possibly in the hopes of scoping out another baby momma for him.

To be sure, Obama pays lip service to rap music being misogynistic and offensive, but in reality he is all too happy to use individuals for vote getting and fund-raising who've been rapping about the thug life and sexing multiple "bitches" and "hos."

"So what?" you may ask. "Are young voters really influenced by this kind of celebrity endorsement silliness?"

Yes, say mass communication scholars. One study conducted by two Washington State University professors found that "celebrity endorsed campaigns successfully lowered complacency and helped young people believe in their own impact on the politi- cal system." Furthermore, the researchers found that, after being subjected to celebrity endorsements, "young people got involved at higher levels and became increasingly aware of societal issues."²⁷

Natalie Wood, assistant director of the Center for Consumer Research, agrees: "Politicians are like businesses--name recognition goes a long way, and celebrities can help make that happen. Obama is a classic example of that because most people had never heard of him before."²⁸

One person who made sure that Barack Obama became a household name was Oprah Winfrey. By Team Obama's own estimation, Oprah's emergence on the campaign trail led to record-setting rallies and at least ten thousand new volunteers.

An economist at Northwestern University, Craig Garthwaite, and one from the University of Maryland, Timothy Moore, confirmed the impact of Oprah's endorsement. MSNBC.com reported, "After analyzing sales of Oprah's Book Club selections and subscriptions to Winfrey's magazine O, the pair estimated she captured about 1 million additional votes for Obama in the primary election."²⁹

Liberals' overwhelming domination of the entertainment industry has given the left a massive advantage in leveraging outreach to the youth demographic. The emotional connection between young people and their music makes the left's use of pop culture as an electoral tool an especially potent electoral brew.

"Musicians in particular have this deep connection with their audience on an emotional level that really gets to the identity of the individuals," says Andy Bernstein, the executive director of HeadCount, a voter registration organization created in 2004 by a group of artists, music industry professionals, and fans. "Young people really define themselves with the music that they listen to. When someone like Dave Matthews steps to the microphone and urges people to vote, you can't even measure the impact. Fans are very, very engaged and they're not just feeding off of the musicians, but they're communicating with each other."³⁰

HeadCount poses as nonpartisan, but Bernstein acknowledges that the group was birthed during the '04 campaign to defeat President George W. Bush. "I was a reporter at the time," he says. "I was on the phone with somebody, and the conversation turned to politics. I was so riled up, I was like, 'I've got to do something, what am I going to do?' And, like a minute later, I said, 'You know what? If I can do something to get fans of the bands I listen to to vote, that's what I can do.' "³¹

This "nonpartisan" organization had the weight of Dave Matthews Band, Pearl Jam, Jack Johnson, Nine Inch Nails, Wilco, Phish, John Mayer, and numerous others behind them. The organization then set up voting registration tables at a thousand concerts across the country, registering tens of thousands of Obama Zombies-in-training. And surprise, surprise, they're all libs. The Medill News Service analyzed the campaign contributions of the musicians affiliated with HeadCount and found that most of them gave to Democrat candidates in the 2008 presidential race.³² In fact, HeadCount is so nonpartisan that Andy Bernstein found a way to encourage people to vote for Obama: "It's okay to say 'Jerry Garcia' " when informing registrants who is preferable to vote for. "That's allowed. As long as you don't say what party Jerry Garcia will be running on."

Translation: vote for B.H.O., bro, and pass the joint.

HeadCount wasn't the only "nonpartisan group" with a readily apparent point of view. The Hip Hop Caucus's "Respect My Vote" campaign pimped out rapper T.I. to get young people, mostly in the hip-hop community, to register to vote. The group targeted Baltimore, Philadelphia, Richmond, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Raleigh/Durham, Houston, Dallas, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Columbus, Detroit, Cleveland, and Charlotte. The founder, "Reverend" Lennox Yearwood, Jr., wears a traditional collarless reverend shirt with a hat backward. He enrolled T.I. "to work towards the elimination of poverty, the highest quality public education and the elimination of racism, racial profiling and police brutality."³³

T.I., who pled guilty to weapons charges in 2008, was all too happy to campaign for Obama under the nonpartisan banner.

"This was the first election I voted in myself," said T.I. "I guess it was Barack who influenced me. Politics just didn't move me. I didn't feel like it made a difference one way or the other. I looked at politicians and just thought, either way we're fucked. They don't really care about us anyway. Now, I look at Obama's government and I feel like someone's in there who has our best interests at heart."³⁴

Hip-Hop Team Vote, another "nonpartisan" group, targeted Philadelphia youth, registering more than one hundred thousand voters.³⁵ Participants included our buddy T.I., Russell Simmons, and Flo-Rida. T.I. described himself as "a felon two or three times over" and Flo-Rida is the Romeo rapper who sings sweet odes about . . . blow jobs.

Flo-Rida told the youth, "Here's the chance to make your children's children's world a better place." Yes, voting can make change. Also, refraining from singing about blow jobs may lessen the coarsening of the culture.

WITH SUCH STAR power, the left will always have a sizable advantage over conservatives. When artists like Jay-Z or the Boss perform for free at Obama rallies, they are donating far more than they are able to do financially under federal campaign restrictions. Individuals are allowed to donate $2,300. That's it. But Obama would far rather have Springsteen, who made $70 million in concerts and album sales within the past year, donate his time than a measly $2,300. Now, while there should be no restrictions on the amount of money an individual can donate to a campaign (free speech doesn't have limits), it's fundamentally unfair to cap one's giving yet allow huge donations in the form of rallies (read: infomercials) that are worth millions and where cell phone numbers and emails are gathered to mobilize a youth marketing militia.

The greatest irony in all this is that so much of the success Hollywood entertainers achieve is the result of one of the core tenets of conservatism: namely, that able-bodied human beings are responsible for their own human flourishing. The life stories of so many entertainers exude all the best qualities that a strong conservative work ethic can bring. Their success was not wrought through the chamber of a government bureaucrat; it was individual initiative, individual drive, and individual responsibility.

Sean "Puffy" Combs is a prime example. As a boy, Combs was born in the public housing projects of Harlem, New York, and was only a child when his father was tragically murdered. He attended Howard University in Washington, D.C., while interning at Uptown Records in New York City. His love for music led him to shuttle back and forth between the two cities, even with a full load of school work. He did drop out of college, but at age nineteen became the youngest executive ever at Uptown Records. Today, for better or worse (for worse), Combs is a household name. He has established a record label, a clothing line, and a cologne; has created his own television show; and has produced and promoted some of the biggest names in hip-hop. He made Fortune's list of the "40 Richest People Under 40" and has a net worth exceeding $300 million.

Diddy loved music, loved promotion, loved the spotlight, and worked his derriere off to achieve his dreams. Uncle Sam didn't orchestrate it. He did. Not Washington.

When Obama talks about "individual responsibility and mutual responsibility," it's the mutual responsibility part he uses to justify the redistribution of wealth that he openly favored during the campaign and is carrying out by targeting the most productive members of society. In Barack's world, all money is the government's, no matter how much time, money, and effort you put into earning it. Wrap that ideology inside the left's usual class warfare rhetoric and--voila!--you can turn otherwise hardworking, individualistic achievers like Diddy into head-bobbing Obama Zombies who will mindlessly campaign for a man who preaches a message antithetical to the very virtues that helped them achieve their success.

It's an effective if cynical trick. And, unfortunately, it's a trick that has produced many Obama Zombies.