Days walking: 62
Demerits: 8
Conversations with Steffi: 7
Doos clothing acquired: 0
Game suspensions: 1
On Tuesday at first recess, Sandra and Rochelle dragged me out onto the lawn overlooking the outdoor pool. Twelve swimmers were doing laps.
“Sit down,” Sandra said. She and Rochelle remained standing. Sandra handed a protein bar to Rochelle, tossed one to me, then unwrapped her own and started munching.
“Why?” I peeled back the gold and green foil and took a bite. Chalky texture, unidentifiably disgusting flavor that was labeled mangosteen. “Yum. My favorite.” Why couldn’t someone invent a protein bar that wasn’t foul?
“This is an intervention,” Sandra said, sounding like a vastly grumpy coach. For a microsecond I could imagine her as just that: Coach Petaculo the Ruthless. I bet Sandra would even use a whistle. I hate whistles. “So you have to sit.”
I sat down, but only because I was knackered and it was easier than standing. “A what?”
“We don’t want you to get any more demerits. We love this school. You love this school. We don’t want to graduate without you. We’ve already talked to her and she says yes. She’s sure her parents will help,” Rochelle said, looking at me triumphantly. “At least, she’s sure her mom will. Her dad can be a bit weird. Anyway, it’s all settled.”
“What is? Who is?” I wondered if Rochelle and Sandra had gone insane. I finished off the protein bar and wiped my hands on the grass. A ladybug landed on my finger, tasted doxy protein bar crumbs, and flew away.
“You’re going over to Fiorenze’s tonight,” Sandra said, “and her parents are going to teach you how to lose the parking fairy and get a new one.”
“No, I’m not.” Over my fairy- fragged body! Even if the world had ended and Stupid- Name’s house was the only remaining shelter, I still wouldn’t step foot in it. Even if ravening, rabid, rapid wolves were chasing me.
“It’s the only way,” Rochelle said firmly. “You’ve been walking everywhere for more than two months and you still haven’t got a new fairy.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. I’m close. I can feel my fairy getting lighter.”
Sandra sucked her teeth. “No one can feel their fairy.”
“But if you go to Fiorenze’s,” Rochelle said, “you’ll be able to see your fairy’s aura, whether it’s lighter or not. They’ll teach you how to get rid of it. They know everything there is to know about fairies!”
“I can’t. I have to do public service at the cemetery.”
“Which one?” Sandra asked.
“Hillside.”
“Maybe you’ll get to tend to Our Diviya or Our Lakeisha,” Sandra said, rolling her eyes as if she were joking, forgetting that me and Ro had seen the shrine to Our Diviya and Our Lakeisha that is her bedroom.
“Maybe.”
“Well, tomorrow night then,” Rochelle said.
I shook my head. “Public service. I have to do public service every day after school until all my demerits are gone.”
“C’mon, Charlie. Fiorenze’s parents’ll solve your problem. You won’t accrue any more demerits, you won’t have to do public service. Everything will be the way it should be, except that you’ll have a brand-spanking-new fairy,” Rochelle said. Then her eyes got wide. “Maybe even a clothes-shopping fairy—”
Sandra snorted. “You have the only known clothesshopping fairy in the universe.”
“I can’t do it until Sunday,” I said. “I’ve got public service every day till then.”
“Fine,” Rochelle said. “I’ll organize it for Sunday then.”
“But, Ro, that’s my one day off. I was going to—”
“Visit Fiorenze’s parents. Promise?”
I made a halfhearted movement of my head that could have been interpreted as a nod as soon as a shake.
Rochelle tsked. “Do you promise?”
“Mmpfyeh,” I said, widening my eyes to their maximum earnestness.
“Say it again with your hands on your lap where we can see them,” Rochelle said.
I uncrossed my fingers and put my hands in my lap. “I promise,” I said heavily. “Ours’ honor.” I tried to think of something horrendous enough to be sufficient punishment for Rochelle and Sandra forcing me to spend my one day off at Stupid Fiorenze’s. It called for something spectacular.