Tony: There were so many cruel things done to you. Remember when I put you on a bike without training wheels…

Jenna:… and pushed me and then let go. It was a big bike too. You were crazy. One of the major things that ruined me for about a month was when we were in front of the apartment complex and you said, “If you touch that clover, you will grow wings.” Then you went off and played, and I just sat and looked at that clover for hours on end.

Finally I got up enough frigging balls and I touched the clover. I ran over to you going, “I touched the clover. I touched the clover.” And you grabbed my shoulder blades and said, “Oh my god, did you see these? What are you going to do? How are you going to get by in life with wings?”

I sat and cried for days and days, and finally my dad was like, “What is wrong with you?” And I sniffled, “Dad, I’m growing wings.” You got so busted over that.

Tony: Remember when we used to play ninja? We would climb walls and go into peoples’ houses and hide behind their couches while they watched TV.

Jenna: And we’d be in full ninja gear. We dressed all in black. I mean, we were running around peoples’ backyards in frigging burglar suits, pretty much. What if someone had shot us?

The worst thing that happened was one time at Seventh and Franklin, I didn’t want to go out, but I didn’t want to be in my room alone. Tony was going no matter what, so I was like, “Fuck, okay, I’ll go.” And he told me I had to dress in all black, and he taped that fucking samurai sword on my back. Dad, this sword was twice my size.

Tony: It got caught on everything.

Jenna: We were walking on the walls behind peoples’ houses, and Tony was always faster than me because I was small. Tony jumped these trash cans and (starts laughing)…

Tony: Oh no, let me tell you what happened. We came down off the wall, because these people suddenly turned on their kitchen light. So we were in this back alley, and all of a sudden when we hit the floor we realized, “Wow, the ground is moving.” Then the clouds came past the moon and the moon shone bright, and we saw that the whole alley was cockroaches. It was a floor of cockroaches. So I just ran, full board…

Jenna: And I’m like, “Tony!”

Tony: I took off running like Joe DiMaggio, jumped the garbage cans at the end of the alley, and ran across the street.

Larry: You know, Joe DiMaggio was your grandfather’s second cousin.

Tony: I know. That’s crazy. Anyway, I’m brushing cockroaches off of me, and I turn around and see Jenna, just barely clearing the garbage can and, bam, she slams right into the pavement with her sword clanging and her throwing stars flying.

Jenna: And all you hear is uggghgghhhhh. I had to go to the emergency room for that.

Tony: Throwing stars were our favorite toys as kids. You could always tell where we’d been because there were two little holes everywhere.

Jenna: Remember when you were chasing me through the house and I was trying to hide…

Tony:… and you hid under the blanket. So I took the throwing star and was poking around, and I saw a little lump.

Larry: There was no one home. I was at work.

Tony: Yeah, we had the house to ourselves. So I saw a little lump and I threw it and, oh shit, out came Jenna…

Jenna: It stuck. I stood up and it was sticking out of my head.

Tony: It doesn’t stick very hard. Just the skin.

Jenna: I had to pull it out. I had a bruise this big from it. And then Dad came home and said, “What happened?” I lied. I said I was running from him and I was trying to get under the bed and I banged my head. I covered for you, and Dad fucking grounded me. I was so frigging pissed, but you made it up to me by buying me some Big League Chew.

Larry: I didn’t learn the truth for a long time.

Tony: So many bad things happened that I never told you about.

Jenna: I remember one time we were at the bike track, and you got in a fight with this boy. He had you in a headlock and you were choking to death because of the asthma. You had given me this butterfly knife to hold and I was like, “What do I do? Stab him?” But I didn’t have enough balls to stab him, so I ran over and jumped on the kid and started beating him with the blunt end of the knife into his spine, trying to get him off you. I was at the point where I would have killed to save my brother.