BOYS #1

Name: Sam

Age: 5

Location: Panama City, Florida

Status: Neighbor

Boundary Crossed: Nudity

It was my idea.

I wanted to see what a pee-pee looked like. I knew my dad had one, because whenever he went tinkle, I could see a dangling bit from the back. Thus I knew boys were different from girls; I just wanted to see how different. So I asked the boy next door to play doctor.

He and his sister had bunk beds. We’d hide underneath them and take turns pulling down our pants and touching each other. He turned out to be a little perv also. He always wanted to rub it on me. It wasn’t anything malicious or dirty. In fact, it was warm and felt good. But our games didn’t last long; one afternoon, his parents found us naked under the bed and sent me home. They never let me come over after that. And I can’t say I blame them.

From then on, I did my exploring alone. At age six, thanks to the jets of a neighbor’s Jacuzzi, I discovered that I could have an orgasm. I would prop myself up against the stream until my hips locked up and my skin shriveled. Each orgasm would twitch through my body for what felt like fifteen minutes. Years later, I discovered I could replicate the effect with the bathtub faucet. It took me several months of sleepless nights before I learned how to get off with just my hand. I didn’t consciously associate my orgasms with sexuality at that time. The tragedy is that by the time I finally did, my orgasms had become much shorter.

Tony and me in Florida.