"Some sort of kooky thing of Chip's, I guess."

Denise had an "amused" expression that drove Enid crazy. "Obviously you know what they are, though."

"No. I don't."

"You don't know what they are?"

Enid took the vase out and closed the cabinet. "I don't want to know," she said.

"Well, that's something else entirely."

In the living room, Alfred was summoning the courage to sit down on Chip's chaise longue. Not ten minutes ago, he'd sat down on it without incident. But now, instead of simply doing it again, he'd stopped to think. He'd realized only recently that at the center of the act of sitting down was a loss of control, a blind backwards free fall. His excellent blue chair in St. Jude was like a first baseman's glove that gently gathered in whatever body was flung its way, at whatever glancing angle, with whatever violence; it had big helpful ursine arms to support him while he performed the crucial blind pivot. But Chip's chaise was a low-riding, impractical antique. Alfred stood facing away from it and hesitated, his knees bent to the rather small degree that his neuropathic lower legs permitted, his hands scooping and groping in the air behind him. He was afraid to take the plunge. And yet there was something obscene about standing half-crouched and quaking, some association with the men's room, some essential vulnerability which felt to him at once so poignant and degraded that, simply to put an end to it, he shut his eyes and let go. He landed heavily on his bottom and continued on over backwards, coming to rest with his knees in the air above him.

"Al, are you all right?" Enid called.

"I don't understand this furniture," he said, struggling to sit up and sound powerful. "Is this meant to be a sofa?"

Denise came out and put a vase of three sunflowers on the spindly table by the chaise. "It's like a sofa," she said. "You can put your legs up and be a French philosophe. You can talk about Schopenhauer."

Alfred shook his head.

Enid enunciated from the kitchen doorway, "Dr. Hedgpeth says you should only sit in high, straight-backed chairs."

Since Alfred showed no interest in these instructions, Enid repeated them to Denise when she returned to the kitchen. "High, straight-backed chairs only," she said. "But Dad won't listen. He insists on sitting in his leather chair. Then he shouts for me to come and help him get up. But if I hurt my back, then where are we? I put one of those nice old ladder-back chairs by the TV downstairs and told him sit here. But he'd rather sit in his leather chair, and then to get out of it he slides down the cushion until he's on the floor. Then he crawls on the floor to the Ping-Pong table and uses the Ping-Pong table to hoist himself up."

"That's actually pretty resourceful," Denise said as she took an armload of food from the refrigerator.

"Denise, he's crawling across the floor. Rather than sit in a nice, comfortable straight-backed chair which the doctor says it's important that he sit in, he crawls across the floor. He shouldn't be sitting so much to begin with. Dr. Hedgpeth says his condition is not at all severe if he would just get out and do a little. Use it or lose it, that's what every doctor says. Dave Schumpert has had ten times more health problems than Dad, he's had a colostomy for fifteen years, he's got one lung and a pacemaker, and look at all the things that he and Mary Beth are doing. They just got back from snorkeling in Fiji! And Dave never complains, never complains. You probably don't remember Gene Grillo, Dad's old friend from Hephaestus, but he has bad Parkinson's-much, much worse than Dad's. He's still at home in Fort Wayne but in a wheelchair now. He's really in awful shape, but, Denise, he's interested in things. He can't write anymore but he sent us an `audio letter' on a cassette tape, really thoughtful, where he talks about each of his grandchildren in detail, because he knows his grandkids and takes an interest in them, and about how he's started to teach himself Cambodian, which he calls Khmer, from listening to a tape and watching the Cambodian (or Khmer, I guess) TV channel in Fort Wayne, because their youngest son is married to a Cambodian woman, or Khmer, I guess, and her parents don't speak any English and Gene wants to be able to talk to them a little. Can you believe? Here Gene is in a wheelchair, completely crippled, and he's still thinking about what he can do for somebody else! While Dad, who can walk, and write, and dress himself, does nothing all day but sit in his chair."

"Mother, he's depressed," Denise said in a low voice, slicing bread.

"That's what Gary and Caroline say, too. They say he's depressed and he should take a medication. They say he was a workaholic and that work was a drug which when he couldn't have it anymore he got depressed."

"So drug him and forget him. A convenient theory."

"That's not fair to Gary."

"Don't get me started on Gary and Caroline."

"Golly, Denise, the way you throw that knife around I don't see how you haven't lost a finger."

From the end of a French loaf Denise had made three little crust-bottomed vehicles. On one she set shavings of butter curved like sails full of wind, into another she loaded Parmesan shards packed in an excelsior of shredded arugula, and the third she paved with minced olive meat and olive oil and covered with a thick red tarp of pepper.

Enid spoke-"Mm, don't those look nice"-as she reached, cat-quick, for the plate on which Denise had arranged the snacks. But the plate eluded Enid.

"These are for Dad."

"Just a corner of one."

"I'll make some more for you."

"No, I just want one corner of his."

But Denise left the kitchen and took the plate to Alfred, for whom the problem of existence was this: that, in the manner of a wheat seedling thrusting itself up out of the earth, the world moved forward in time by adding cell after cell to its leading edge, piling moment on moment, and that to grasp the world even in its freshest, youngest moment provided no guarantee that you'd be able to grasp it again a moment later. By the time he'd established that his daughter, Denise, was handing him a plate of snacks in his son Chip's living room, the next moment in time was already budding itself into a pristinely ungrasped existence in which he couldn't absolutely rule out the possibility, for example, that his wife, Enid, was handing him a plate of feces in the parlor of a brothel; and no sooner had he reconfirmed Denise and the snacks and Chip's living room than the leading edge of time added yet another layer of new cells, so that he again faced a new and ungrasped world; which was why, rather than exhaust himself playing catch-up, he preferred more and more to spend his days down among the unchanging historical roots of things.

"Something to tide you while I get lunch," Denise said.

Alfred gazed with gratitude at the snacks, which were holding about ninety percent steady as food, flickering only occasionally into objects of similar size and shape.

"Maybe you'd like a glass of wine?"

"Not necessary," he said. As the gratitude spread outward from his heart-as he was moved-his clasped hands and lower arms began to bounce more freely on his lap. He tried to find something in the room that didn't move him, something he could rest his eyes on safely; but because the room was Chip's and because Denise was standing in it, every fixture and every surface-even a radiator knob, even a thigh-level expanse of faintly scuffed wall-was a reminder of the separate, eastern worlds in which his children led their lives and hence of the various vast distances that separated him from them; which made his hands shake all the more.

That the daughter whose attentions most aggravated his affliction was the person he least wanted to be seen by in the grip of this affliction was the sort of Devil's logic that confirmed a man's pessimism.

"I'll leave you alone for a minute," Denise said, "while I get the lunch going."

He closed his eyes and thanked her. As if waiting for a break in a downpour so that he could run from his car into a grocery store, he waited for a lull in his tremor so that he could reach out and safely eat what she'd brought him.

His affliction offended his sense of ownership. These shaking hands belonged to nobody but him, and yet they refused to obey him. They were like bad children. Unreasoning two-year-olds in a tantrum of selfish misery. The more sternly he gave orders, the less they listened and the more miserable and out of control they got. He'd always been vulnerable to a child's recalcitrance and refusal to behave like an adult. Irresponsibility and undiscipline were the bane of his existence, and it was another instance of that Devil's logic that his own untimely affliction should consist of his body's refusal to obey him.

If thy right hand offend thee, Jesus said, cut it off.

As he waited for the tremor to abate-as he watched his hands' jerking rowing motions impotently, as if he were in a nursery with screaming misbehaving infants and had lost his voice and couldn't make them quiet down-Alfred took pleasure in the imagination of chopping his hand off with a hatchet: of letting the transgressing limb know how deeply he was angry with it, how little he loved it if it insisted on disobeying him. It brought a kind of ecstasy to imagine the first deep bite of the hatchet's blade in the bone and muscle of his offending wrist; but along with the ecstasy, right beside it, was an inclination to weep for this hand that was his, that he loved and wished the best for, that he'd known all its life.

He was thinking about Chip again without noticing it.

He wondered where Chip had gone. How he'd driven Chip away again.

Denise's voice and Enid's voice in the kitchen were like a larger bee and a smaller bee trapped behind a window screen. And his moment came, the lull that he'd been waiting for. Leaning forward and steadying his taking hand with his supporting hand, he grasped the butter-sailed schooner and got it off the plate, bore it aloft without capsizing it, and then, as it floated and bobbed, he opened his mouth and chased it down and got it. Got it. Got it. The crust cut his gums, but he kept the whole thing in his mouth and chewed carefully, giving his sluggish tongue wide berth. The sweet butter melting, the feminine softness of baked leavened wheat. There were chapters in Hedgpeth's booklets that even Alfred, fatalist and man of discipline that he was, couldn't bring himself to read. Chapters devoted to the problems of swallowing; to the late torments of the tongue; to the final breakdown of the signal system. . .

The betrayal had begun in Signals.

The Midland Pacific Railroad, where for the last decade of his career he'd run the Engineering Department (and where, when he'd given an order, it was carried out, Mr. Lambert, right away, sir), had served hundreds of one-elevator towns in west Kansas and west and central Nebraska, towns of the kind that Alfred and his fellow executives had grown up in or near, towns that in their old age seemed the sicker for the excellent health of the Midpac tracks running through them. Although the railroad's first responsibility was to its stockholders, its Kansan and Missourian officers (including Mark Jamborets, the corporation counsel) had persuaded the Board of Managers that because a railroad was a pure monopoly in many hinterland towns, it had a civic duty to maintain service on its branches and spurs. Alfred personally had no illusions about the economic future of prairie towns where the median age was fifty-plus, but he believed in rail and he hated trucks, and he knew firsthand what scheduled service meant to a town's civic pride, how the whistle of a train could raise the spirits on a February morning at 41deg N 101deg W; and in his battles with the EPA and various DOTs he'd learned to appreciate rural state legislators who could intercede on your behalf when you needed more time to clean up your waste-oil tanks in the Kansas City yards, or when some goddamned bureaucrat was insisting that you pay for forty percent of a needless grade-separation project at Country Road H. Years after the Soo Line and Great Northern and Rock Island had stranded dead and dying towns all across the northern Plains, then, the Midpac had persisted in running short semiweekly or even biweekly trains through places like Alvin and Pisgah Creek, New Chartres and West Centerville.

Unfortunately, this program had attracted predators. In the early 1980s, as Alfred neared retirement, the Midpac was known as a regional carrier that despite outstanding management and lush profit margins on its long-haul lines had very ordinary earnings. The Midpac had already repulsed one unwelcome suitor when it came under the acquisitive gaze of Hillard and Chauncy Wroth, fraternal twin brothers from Oak Ridge, Tennessee, who had expanded a family meat-packing business into an empire of the dollar. Their company, the Orfic Group, included a chain of hotels, a bank in Atlanta, an oil company, and the Arkansas Southern Railroad. The Wroths had lopsided faces and dirty hair and no discernible desires or interests apart from making money; Oak Ridge Raiders, the financial press called them. At an early exploratory meeting that Alfred attended, Chauncy Wroth persisted in addressing the Midpac's CEO as "Dad": I'm well aware it don't seem like "fair play" to you, DAD. . . Well, DAD, why don't you and your lawyers go ahead and have that little chat right now. . . Gosh, and here Hillard and myself was under the impression, DAD, that you're operating a business, not a charity. . . This kind of anti-paternalism played well with the railroad's unionized workforce, which after months of arduous negotiations voted to offer the Wroths a package of wage and work-rule concessions worth almost $200 million; with these prospective savings in hand, plus twenty-seven percent of the railroad's stock, plus limitless junk financing, the Wroths made an irresistible tender offer and bought the railroad outright. A former Tennessee highway commissioner, Fenton Creel, was hired to merge the railroad with the Arkansas Southern. Creel shut down the Midpac's headquarters in St. Jude, fired or retired a third of its employees, and moved the rest to Little Rock.

Alfred retired two months before his sixty-fifth birthday. He was at home watching Good Morning America in his new blue chair when Mark Jamborets, the Midpac's retired corporation counsel, called with the news that a sheriff in New Chartres (pronounced "Charters"), Kansas, had had himself arrested for shooting an employee of Orfic Midland. "The sheriff's name is Bryce Halstrom," Jamborets told Alfred. "He got a call that some roughnecks were trashing Midpac signal wires. He went over to the siding and saw three fellows ripping down the wire, smashing signal boxes, coiling up anything copper. One of them took a county bullet in his hip before the others made Halstrom understand they were working for the Midpac. Hired for copper salvage at sixty cents a pound."

"But that's a good new system," Alfred said. "It's not three years since we upgraded the whole New Chartres spur."

"The Wroths are scrapping everything but the trunk lines," Jamborets said. "They're junking the Glendora cutoff! You think the Atchison, Topeka wouldn't make a bid on that?"

"Well," Alfred said.

"It's a Baptist morality gone sour," said Jamborets. "The Wroths can't abide that we admitted any principle but the ruthless pursuit of profit. I'm telling you: they hate what they can't comprehend. And now they're sowing salt in the fields. Close down headquarters in St. Jude? When we're twice the size of Arkansas Southern? They're punishing St. Jude for being the home of the Midland Pacific. And Creel's punishing the towns like New Chartres for being Midpac towns. He's sowing salt in the fields of the financially unrighteous."

"Well," Alfred said again, his eyes drawn to his new blue chair and its delicious potential as a sleep site. "Not my concern anymore."

But he'd worked for thirty years to make the Midland Pacific a strong system, and Jamborets continued to call him and send him news reports of fresh Kansan outrages, and it all made him very sleepy. Soon hardly a branch or spur in Midpac's western district remained in service, but apparently Fenton Creel was satisfied with pulling down the signal wires and gutting the boxes. Five years after the takeover, the rails were still in place, the right-of-way was undisposed of. Only the copper nervous system, in an act of corporate self-vandalism, had been dismantled.

"And now I'm worried about our health insurance," Enid told Denise. "Orfic Midland is switching all the old Midpac employees to managed care no later than April. I have to find an HMO that has some of Dad's and my doctors on their list. I'm deluged with prospectuses, where the differences are all in the fine print, and honestly, Denise, I don't think I can handle this."

As if to forestall being asked for help, Denise quickly said: "What plans does Hedgpeth accept?"

"Well, except for his old fee-for-service patients, like Dad, he's exclusive now with Dean Driblett's HMO," Enid said. "I told you about the big party at Dean's gorgeous, huge new house. Dean and Trish really are about the nicest young couple I know, but golly, Denise, I called his company last year after Dad fell down on the lawn mower, and you know what they wanted for cutting our little lawn? Fifty-five dollars a week! I'm not opposed to profit, I think it's wonderful that Dean's successful, I told you about his trip to Paris with Honey, I'm not saying anything against him. But fifty-five dollars a week!"

Denise sampled Chip's green-bean salad and reached for the olive oil. "What would it cost to stay with fee-for-service?"

"Denise, hundreds of dollars a month extra. Not one of our good friends has managed care, everybody has fee-for-service, but I don't see how we can afford it. Dad was so conservative with his investments, we're lucky to have any cushion for emergencies. And this is something else I'm very, very, very, very worried about." Enid lowered her voice. "One of Dad's old patents is finally paying off, and I need your advice."

She stepped out of the kitchen and made sure that Alfred couldn't hear. "Al, how are you doing?" she shouted.

He was cradling his second hors d'oeuvre, the little green boxcar, below his chin. As if he'd captured a small animal that might escape again, he shook his head without looking up.

Enid returned to the kitchen with her purse. "He finally has a chance to make some money, and he's not interested. Gary talked to him on the phone last month and tried to get him to be a little more aggressive, but Dad blew up."

Denise stiffened. "What was Gary wanting you to do?"

"Just be a little more aggressive. Here, I'll show you the letter."

"Mother, those patents are Dad's. You have to let him handle it however he wants."

Enid hoped that the envelope at the bottom of her purse might be the missing Registered letter from the Axon Corporation. In her purse, as in her house, lost objects did sometimes marvelously resurface. But the envelope she found was the original Certified letter, which had never been lost.

"Read this," she said, "and see if you agree with Gary."

Denise set down the can of cayenne pepper with which she'd dusted Chip's salad. Enid stood at her shoulder and reread the letter to make sure it still said what she remembered.

Dear Dr. Lambert:

On behalf of the Axon Corporation, 24 East Industrial Serpentine, Schwenksville, Pennsylvania, I'm writing to offer you a lump sum payment of five thousand dollars ($5000.00) for the full, exclusive, and irrevocable right to United States Patent # 4,934,417 (THERAPEUTIC FERROACETATE-GEL ELECTRO-POLYMERIZATION), for which you are original and sole holder of license.

The management of Axon regrets that it cannot offer you a larger fee. The company's own product is in the earliest stages of testing, and there is no guarantee that its investment will bear fruit.

If the terms outlined in the attached Licensing Agreement are acceptable, please sign and have notarized all three copies and return them to me no later than September 30.

Sincerely yours, Joseph K. Prager Senior Associate Partner Bragg Knuter & Speigh When this letter had arrived in the mail in August and Enid had awakened Alfred in the basement, he'd shrugged and said, "Five thousand dollars won't change the way we live." Enid had suggested that they write to the Axon Corporation and ask for a larger fee, but Alfred shook his head. "We'll have soon spent five thousand dollars on a lawyer," he said, "and then where are we?" It didn't hurt to ask, though, Enid said. "I will not ask," Alfred said. But if he just wrote back, Enid said, and asked for ten thousand. . . She fell silent as Alfred fixed her with a look. She might as well have proposed that they make love.

Denise had taken a bottle of wine from the refrigerator, as if to underline her indifference to a matter of consequence to Enid. Sometimes Enid believed that Denise had disdain for every last thing she cared about. The sexual tightness of Denise's blue jeans, as she bumped a drawer shut with her hip, sent this message. The assurance with which she drove a corkscrew into the cork sent this message. "Do you want some wine?"

Enid shuddered. "It's so early in the day."

Denise drank it like water. "Knowing Gary," she said, "I'm guessing he said try to gouge them."

"No, well, see-" Enid reached toward the bottle with both hands. "Just a tiny drop, pour me just a swallow, honestly, I never drink this early in the day, never-you see, but Gary wonders why the company is even bothering with the patent if they're still so early in their development. I guess the usual thing is just to infringe on the other person's patent.-That's too much! Denise, I don't like so much wine! Because, see, the patent expires in six years, so Gary thinks the company must stand to make a lot of money soon."

"Did Dad sign the agreement?"

"Oh, yeah. He went over to the Schumperts' and had Dave notarize it."

"Then you have to respect his decision."

"Denise, he's being stubborn and unreasonable. I can't-"

"Are you saying this is an issue of competency?"

"No. No. This is fully in character. I just can't-"

"If he already signed the agreement," Denise said, "what is Gary imagining you're going to do?"

"Nothing, I guess."

"So what's the point here?"

"Nothing. You're right," Enid said. "There's nothing we can do," although in fact there was. If Denise had been a little less partisan in her support of Alfred, Enid might have confessed that after Alfred had given her the notarized agreement to mail at the post office on her way to the bank, she'd hidden the agreement in the glove compartment of their car, and had let the envelope sit and radiate guilt for several days; and that later, while Alfred was napping, she'd hidden the envelope more securely at the back of a laundry-room cabinet containing jars of undesirable jams and spreads going gray with age (kumquat-raisin, brandy-pumpkin, Korean barfleberry) and vases and baskets and cubes of florist's clay too good to throw away but not good enough to use; and that, as a result of this dishonest act, she and Alfred could still extract a big licensing fee from Axon, and that it was therefore crucial that she locate the second, Registered letter from Axon and hide it before Alfred found out that she'd deceived and disobeyed him. "Oh, but that reminds me," she said, emptying her glass, "there's something else I really need your help with."

Denise hesitated before replying with a polite and cordial "Yes?" This hesitation confirmed Enid's long-held belief that she and Alfred had taken a wrong turn somewhere in Denise's upbringing. Had failed to instill in their youngest child the proper spirit of generosity and cheerful service.

"Well, as you know," Enid said, "we've gone to Philadelphia for the last eight Christmases in a row, and Gary's boys are old enough now that they might like to have a memory of Christmas at their grandparents' house, and so I thought-"

"Damn!" came a cry from the living room.

Enid set down her glass and hurried from the kitchen. Alfred was sitting on the edge of the chaise in a somehow penal posture, his knees high and his back a little hunched, and was surveying the crash site of his third hors d'oeuvre. The gondola of bread had slipped from his fingers on its approach to his mouth and plunged to his knee, scattering wreckage and tumbling to the floor and finally coming to rest beneath the chaise. A wet pelt of roasted red pepper had adhered to the chaise's flank. Shadows of oil-soak were forming around each clump of olive morsels on the upholstery. The emptied gondola lay on its side with its yellow-soaked, brown-stained white interior showing.

Denise squeezed past Enid with a damp sponge and went and knelt by Alfred. "Oh, Dad," she said, "these are hard to handle, I should have realized."

"Just get me a rag and I'll clean it up."

"No, here," Denise said. Cupping one hand for a receptacle, she brushed the bits of olive from his knees and thighs. His hands shook in the air near her head as if he might have to push her away, but she did her work quickly, and soon she'd sponged the bits of olive up from the floor and was carrying the dirtied food back to the kitchen, where Enid had wanted a tiny extra splash of wine and in her hurry not to be conspicuous had poured a rather substantial tiny splash and downed it quickly.

"Anyway," she said, "I thought that if you and Chip were interested, we could all have one last Christmas in St. Jude. What do you think of that idea?"

"I'll be wherever you and Dad want to be," Denise said.

"No, I'm asking you, though. I want to know if it's something you're especially interested in doing. If you'd especially like to have one last Christmas in the house you grew up in. Does it sound like it might be fun for you?"

"I can tell you right now," Denise said, "there's no way Caroline's leaving Philly. It's a fantasy to think otherwise. So if you want to see your grandkids, you'll have to come east."

"Denise, I'm asking what you want. Gary says he and Caroline haven't ruled it out. I need to know if a Christmas in St. Jude is something that you really, really want for yourself. Because if all the rest of us are agreed that it's important to be together as a family in St. Jude one last time-"

"Mother, it's fine with me, if you think you can handle it."

"I'll need a little help in the kitchen is all."

"I can help you in the kitchen. But I can only come for a few days."

"You can't take a week?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Mother."

"Damn!" Alfred cried again from the living room as something vitreous, maybe a vase containing sunflowers, hit the floor with a cracking-open sound, a gulp of breakage. "Damn! Damn!"

Enid's own nerves were so splintery she almost dropped her wineglass, and yet a part of her was grateful for this second mishap, whatever it was, because it gave Denise a small taste of what she had to put up with every day, around the clock, at home in St. Jude.

The night of Alfred's seventy-fifth birthday had found Chip alone at Tilton Ledge pursuing sexual congress with his red chaise longue.

It was early January and the woods around Carparts Creek were soggy with melting snow. Only the shopping-center sky above central Connecticut and the digital readouts of his home electronics cast light on his carnal labors. He was kneeling at the feet of his chaise and sniffing its plush minutely, inch by inch, in hopes that some vaginal tang might still be lingering eight weeks after Melissa Paquette had lain here. Ordinarily distinct and identifiable smells-dust, sweat, urine, the dayroom reek of cigarette smoke, the fugitive afterscent of quim-became abstract and indistinguishable from oversmelling, and so he had to pause again and again to refresh his nostrils. He worked his lips down into the chaise's buttoned navels and kissed the lint and grit and crumbs and hairs that had collected in them. None of the three spots where he thought he smelled Melissa was unambiguously tangy, but after exhaustive comparison he was able to settle on the least questionable of the three spots, near a button just south of the backrest, and give it his full nasal attention. He fingered other buttons with both hands, the cool plush chafing his nether parts in a poor approximation of Melissa's skin, until finally he achieved sufficient belief in the smell's reality-sufficient faith that he still possessed some relic of Melissa-to consummate the act. Then he rolled off his compliant antique and slumped on the floor with his pants undone and his head on the cushion, an hour closer to having failed to call his father on his birthday.

He smoked two cigarettes, lighting the second off the first. He turned on his television to a cable channel that was running a marathon of old Warner Bros. cartoons. At the edge of the pool of tubal glow he could see the mail that for nearly a week he'd been dropping, unopened, on the floor. Three letters from the college's new acting provost were in the pile, also something ominous from the teachers' retirement fund, also a letter from the college housing office with the words NOTICE OF EVICTION on the front of the envelope.

Earlier in the day, while killing some hours by circling in blue ballpoint ink every uppercase M in the front section of a month-old New York Times, Chip had concluded that he was behaving like a depressed person. Now, as his telephone began to ring, it occurred to him that a depressed person ought to continue staring at the TV and ignore the ringing-ought to light another cigarette and, with no trace of emotional affect, watch another cartoon while his machine took whoever's message.

That his impulse, instead, was to jump to his feet and answer the phone-that he could so casually betray the arduous wasting of a day-cast doubt on the authenticity of his suffering. He felt as if he lacked the ability to lose all volition and connection with reality the way depressed people did in books and movies. It seemed to him, as he silenced the TV and hurried into his kitchen, that he was failing even at the miserable task of falling properly apart.

He zipped up his pants, turned on a light, and lifted the receiver. "Hello?"

"What's going on there, Chip?" Denise said without preliminaries. "I just talked to Dad and he said he hadn't heard from you."

"Denise. Denise. Why are you shouting?"

"I'm shouting," she said, "because I'm upset because it's Dad's seventy-fifth birthday and you haven't called him and you didn't send him a card. I'm upset because I've been working for twelve hours and I just called Dad and he's worried about you. What's going on there?"

Chip surprised himself by laughing. "What's going on is that I've lost my job."

"You didn't get tenure?"

"No, I was fired," he said. "They didn't even let me teach the last two weeks of classes. Somebody else had to give my exams. And I can't appeal the decision without calling a witness. And if I try to talk to my witness it's just further evidence of my crime."

"Who's the witness? Witness to what?"

Chip took a bottle from the recycling bin, double-checked its emptiness, and returned it to the bin. "A former student of mine says I'm obsessed with her. She says I had a relationship with her and wrote her a term paper in a motel room. And unless I get a lawyer, which I can't afford to do because they've cut my pay off, I'm not allowed to speak to this student. If I try to see her, it's considered stalking."

"Is she lying?" Denise said.

"Not that this is anything Mom and Dad need to know about."

"Chip, is she lying?"

Spread open on Chip's kitchen counter was the section of the Times in which he'd circled all the uppercase M's. Rediscovering this artifact now, hours later, would have been like remembering a dream except that a remembered dream didn't have the power to pull a waking person back into it, whereas the sight of a heavily marked story about severe new curtailments in Medicare and Medicaid benefits induced in Chip the same feeling of unease and unrealized lust, the same longing for unconsciousness, that had sent him to the chaise to sniff and grope. He had to struggle now to remind himself that he'd already gone to the chaise, he'd already taken that route to comfort and forgetfulness.

He folded the Times and dropped it on top of his heaping trash can.

"`I never had sexual relations with that woman,' "he said.

"You know I'm judgmental about a lot of things," Denise said, "but not about things like this."

"I said I didn't sleep with her."

"I'm stressing, though," Denise said, "that this is one area where absolutely anything you say to me will fall on sympathetic ears." And she cleared her throat pointedly.

If Chip had wanted to come clean to someone in his family, his little sister would have been the obvious choice. Having dropped out of college and having married badly, Denise at least had some acquaintance with darkness and disappointment. Nobody but Enid, however, had ever mistaken Denise for a failure. The college she'd dropped out of was better than the one that Chip had graduated from, and her early marriage and more recent divorce had given her an emotional maturity that Chip was all too aware of lacking himself, and he suspected that even though Denise was working eighty hours a week she still managed to read more books than he did. In the last month, since he'd embarked on projects like digitally scanning Melissa Paquette's face from a freshman facebook and suturing her head to obscene downloaded images and tinkering with these images pixel by pixel (and the hours did fly by when you were tinkering with pixels), he'd read no books at all.

"There was a misunderstanding," he told Denise dully. "And then it was like they could hardly wait to fire me. And now I'm being denied due process."

"Frankly," Denise said, "it's hard to see being fired as a bad thing. Colleges are nasty."

"This was the one place in the world I thought I fit in."

"I'm saying it's very much to your credit that you don't. Although what are you surviving on, financially?"

"Who said I was surviving?"

"Do you need a loan?"

"Denise, you don't have any money."

"Yes I do. I'm also thinking you should talk to my friend Julia. She's the one in film development. I told her about that idea you had for an East Village Troilus and Cressida. She said you should call her if you're interested in writing."

Chip shook his head as if Denise were with him in the kitchen and could see him. They'd talked on the phone, months ago, about modernizing some of Shakespeare's less famous plays, and he couldn't bear that Denise had taken that conversation seriously; that she still believed in him.

"What about Dad, though?" she said. "Did you forget it's his birthday?"

"I lost track of time here."

"I wouldn't push you," Denise said, "except that I was the person who opened your Christmas box."

"Christmas was a bad scene, no question."

"Which package went to whom was pretty much guesswork."

Outside, a wind from the south had picked up, a thawing wind that quickened the patter of snowmelt on the back patio. The sense that Chip had had when the phone rang-that his misery was optional-had left him again.

"So are you going to call him?" Denise said.

He replaced the receiver in its cradle without answering her, turned off the ringer, and pressed his face into the doorframe. He'd solved the problem of family Christmas gifts on the last possible mailing day, when, in a great rush, he'd pulled old bargains and remainders off his bookshelves and wrapped them in aluminum foil and tied them up with red ribbon and refused to imagine how his nine-year-old nephew Caleb, for example, might react to an Oxford annotated edition of Ivanhoe whose main qualification as a gift was that it was still in its original shrink-wrap. The corners of the books had immediately poked through the aluminum foil, and the foil he'd added to cover up the holes hadn't adhered well to the underlying layers, and the result had been a soft and peely kind of effect, like onion skin or phyllo dough, which he'd tried to mitigate by plastering each package with the National Abortion Rights Action League holiday stickers that he'd received in his annual membership kit. His handiwork had looked so clumsy and childish, so mentally unbalanced really, that he tossed the packages into an old grapefruit carton just to get them out of sight. Then he FedExed the carton down to Gary's house in Philadelphia. He felt as if he'd taken an enormous dump, as if, no matter how smeary and disagreeable it had been, he at least was emptied out now and would not be back in this position soon. But three days later, returning home late on Christmas night after a twelve-hour vigil at the Dunkin' Donuts in Norwalk, Connecticut, he faced the problem of opening the gifts his family had sent him: two boxes from St. Jude, a padded mailer from Denise, and a box from Gary. He decided that he would open the packages in bed and that the way he would get them up to his bedroom would be to kick them up the stairs. Which proved to be a challenge, because oblong objects had a tendency not to roll up a staircase but to catch on the steps and tumble back down. Also, if the contents of a padded mailer were too light to offer inertial resistance, it was difficult to get any lift when you kicked it. But Chip had had such a frustrating and demoralizing Christmas-he'd left a message on Melissa's college voice mail, asking her to call him at the pay phone at the Dunkin' Donuts or, better yet, to come over in person from her parents' house in nearby Westport, and not until midnight had exhaustion compelled him to accept that Melissa probably wasn't going to call him and certainly wasn't going to come and see him-that he was now psychically capable neither of breaking the rules of the game he'd invented nor of quitting the game before he'd achieved its object. And it was clear to him that the rules permitted only genuine sharp kicks (prohibited, in particular, working his foot under the padded mailer and advancing it with any sort of pushing or lofting motion), and so he was obliged to kick his Christmas package from Denise with escalating savagery until it tore open and spilled its ground-newsprint stuffing and he succeeded in catching its ripped sheathing with the toe of his boot and launching the gift in a long clean arc that landed it one step shy of the second floor. From there, however, the mailer refused to be budged up over the lip of the final step. Chip trampled and kicked and shredded the mailer with his heels. Inside was a mess of red paper and green silk. He broke his own rule and scraped the mess up over the last step, kicked it down the hall, and left it by his bed while he went down for the other boxes. These, too, he pretty well destroyed before he developed a method of bouncing them off a low step and then, while they were airborne, punting them all the way upstairs. When he punted the box from Gary it exploded in a cloud of white Styrofoam saucers. A bubble-wrapped bottle fell out and rolled down the stairs. It was a bottle of vintage Californian port. Chip carried it up to his bed and worked out a rhythm whereby he swallowed one large mouthful of port for each gift that he succeeded in unwrapping. From his mother, who was under the impression that he still hung a stocking by his fireplace, he'd received a box marked Stocking Stuffers containing small individually wrapped items: a package of cough drops, a miniature second-grade school photo of himself in a tarnished brass frame, plastic bottles of shampoo and conditioner and hand lotion from a Hong Kong hotel where Enid and Alfred had stayed en route to China eleven years earlier, and two carved wooden elves with sentimentally exaggerated smiles and loops of silver string that penetrated their little craniums so they could be hung from a tree. For placement under this presumptive tree, Enid had sent a second box of larger gifts wrapped in Santa-faced red paper: an asparagus steamer, three pairs of white Jockey underwear, a jumbo candy cane, and two calico throw pillows. From Gary and his wife, in addition to the port, Chip received a clever vacuum-pump system for preserving leftover wine from oxidation, as if leftover wine were a problem Chip had ever had. From Denise, to whom he'd given The Selected Letters of Andre Gide after erasing from the flyleaf the evidence that he'd paid one dollar for this particularly tone-deaf translation, he received a beautiful lime-green silk shirt, and from his father a hundred-dollar check with the handwritten instruction to buy himself something he liked.

Except for the shirt, which he'd worn, and the check, which he'd cashed, and the bottle of port, which he'd killed in bed on Christmas night, the gifts from his family were still on the floor of his bedroom. Stuffing from Denise's mailer had drifted into the kitchen and mixed with splashed dishwater to form a mud that he'd tracked all over. Flocks of sheep-white Styrofoam pebbles had collected in sheltered places.

It was nearly ten-thirty in the Midwest.

Hello, Dad. Happy seventy-fifth. Things are going well here. How are things in St. Jude?

Chip felt he couldn't make the call without some kind of pick-me-up or treat. Some kind of energizer. But TV caused him such critical and political anguish that he could no longer watch even cartoons without smoking cigarettes, and he now had a lung-sized region of pain in his chest, and there was no intoxicant of any sort in his house, not even cooking sherry, not even cough syrup, and after the labor of taking his pleasure with the chaise his endorphins had gone home to the four corners of his brain like war-weary troops, so spent by the demands he'd made of them in the last five weeks that nothing, except possibly Melissa in the flesh, could marshal them again. He needed a little morale-booster, a little pick-me-up, but he had nothing better than the month-old Times, and he felt that he'd circled quite enough uppercase M's for one day, he could circle no more.

He went to his dining table and confirmed the absence of dregs in the wine bottles on it. He'd used the last $220 of credit on his Visa card to buy eight bottles of a rather tasty Fronsac, and on Saturday night he'd thrown one last dinner party to rally his supporters on the faculty. A few years ago, after D--' s drama department had fired a popular young professor, Cali Lopez, for having claimed to have a degree she didn't have, outraged students and junior faculty had organized boycotts and candlelight vigils that had forced the college not only to rehire Lopez but to promote her to full professor. Granted, Chip was neither a lesbian nor a Filipina, as Lopez was, but he'd taught Theory of Feminism, and he had a hundred-percent voting record with the Queer Bloc, and he routinely packed his syllabi with non-Western writers, and all he'd really done in Room 23 of the Comfort Valley Lodge was put into practice certain theories (the myth of authorship; the resistant consumerism of transgressive sexual (trans) act(ion) s) that the college had hired him to teach. Unfortunately, the theories sounded somewhat lame when he wasn't lecturing to impressionable adolescents. Of the eight colleagues who'd accepted his invitation for dinner on Saturday, only four had shown up. And despite his efforts to steer the conversation around to his predicament, the only collective action his friends had taken on his behalf had been to serenade him, as they killed the eighth bottle of wine, with an a capella rendition of "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien."

He hadn't had the strength to clear the table in the intervening days. He considered the blackened red leaf lettuce, the skin of congealed grease on an uneaten lamb chop, the mess of corks and ashes. The shame and disorder in his house were like the shame and disorder in his head. Cali Lopez was now the college's acting provost, Jim Leviton's replacement.

Tell me about your relationship with your student Melissa Paquette.

My former student?

Your former student.

I'm friendly with her. We've had dinner. I spent some time with her at the beginning of Thanksgiving break. She's a brilliant student.

Did you give Melissa any help with a paper she wrote last week for Vendla O'Fallon?

We talked about the paper in a general way. She had some areas of confusion that I was able to help her clear up.

Is your relationship with her sexual?

No.

Chip, what I think we'll do is suspend you with pay until we can have a full hearing. That's what we'll do. We'll have a hearing early next week, and in the meantime you should probably get a lawyer and talk to your union rep. I also have to insist that you not speak to Melissa Paquette.

What does she say? That I wrote that paper?

Melissa violated the honor code by handing in work that was not her own. She's facing a one-semester suspension, but we understand that there are mitigating factors. For example, your grossly inappropriate sexual relationship with her.

That's what she says?

My personal advice, Chip, is resign now.

That's what she says?

You have no chance.

The snowmelt was raining down harder on his patio. He lit a cigarette on the front burner of his stove, took two painful drags, and pressed the coal into the palm of his hand. He groaned through clenched teeth and opened his freezer and put his palm to its floor and stood for a minute smelling flesh smoke. Then, holding an ice cube, he went to the phone and dialed the ancient area code, the ancient number.

While the phone rang in St. Jude, he planted a foot on the section of Times in his trash and mashed it down deeper, got it out of sight.

"Oh, Chip," Enid cried, "he's already gone to bed!"

"Don't wake him," Chip said. "Just tell him-"

But Enid set the phone down and shouted Al! Al! at volumes that diminished as she moved farther from the phone and up the stairs toward the bedrooms. Chip heard her shout, It's Chip! He heard their upstairs extension click into action. He heard Enid instructing Alfred, "Don't just say hello and hang up. Visit with him a little."

There was a rustling transfer of the receiver.

"Yes," Alfred said.

"Hey, Dad, happy birthday," Chip said.

"Yes," Alfred said again in exactly the same flat voice.

"I'm sorry to call so late."

"I was not asleep," Alfred said.

"I was afraid I woke you up."

"Yes."

"Well, so happy seventy-fifth."

"Yes."

Chip hoped that Enid was motoring back down to the kitchen as fast as she could, ailing hip and all, to bail him out. "I guess you're tired and it's late," he said. "We don't have to talk."

"Thank you for the call," Alfred said.

Enid was back on the line. "I'm going to finish these dishes," she said. "We had a party here tonight! Al, tell Chip about the party we had! I'm getting off the phone now."

She hung up. Chip said, "You had a party."

"Yes. The Roots were here for dinner and bridge."

"Did you have a cake?"

"Your mother made a cake."

The cigarette had made a hole in Chip's body through which, he felt, painful harms could enter and vital factors painfully escape. Melting ice was leaking through his fingers. "How was the bridge?"

"My typical terrible cards."

"That doesn't seem fair on your birthday."

"I imagine," Alfred said, "that you are gearing up for another semester."

"Right. Right. Although actually not. Actually I'm deciding not to teach at all this semester."

"I didn't hear."

Chip raised his voice. "I said I've decided not to teach this semester. I'm going to take the semester off and work on my writing."

"My recollection is that you are due for tenure soon."

"Right. In April."

"It seems to me that a person hoping to be offered tenure would be advised to stay and teach."

"Right."

"If they see you working hard, they will have no reason not to offer you tenure."

"Right. Right." Chip nodded. "At the same time, I have to prepare for the possibility that I won't get it. And I've got a, uh. A very attractive offer from a Hollywood producer. A college friend of Denise's who produces movies. Potentially very lucrative."

"A great worker is almost impossible to fire," Alfred said.

"The process can get very political, though. I have to have alternatives."

"As you wish," Alfred said. "However, I've found that it's usually best to choose one plan and stick with it. If you don't succeed here, you can always do something else. But you've worked many years to reach this point. One more semester's hard work won't hurt you."

"Right."

"You can relax when you have tenure. Then you're safe."

"Right."

"Well, thank you for the call."

"Right. Happy birthday, Dad."

Chip dropped the phone, left the kitchen, and took a Fronsac bottle by the neck and brought its body down hard on the edge of his dining table. He broke a second bottle. The remaining six he smashed two at a time, a neck in each fist.

Anger carried him through the difficult weeks that followed. He borrowed ten thousand dollars from Denise and hired a lawyer to threaten to sue D-- College for wrongful termination of his contract. This was a waste of money, but it felt good. He went to New York and ponied up four thousand dollars in fees and deposits for a sublet on Ninth Street. He bought leather clothes and had his ears pierced. He borrowed more money from Denise and reconnected with a college friend who edited the Warren Street Journal. He conceived revenge in the form of a screenplay that would expose the narcissism and treachery of Melissa Paquette and the hypocrisy of his colleagues; he wanted the people who'd hurt him to see the movie, recognize themselves, and suffer. He flirted with Julia Vrais and asked her on a date, and soon he was spending two or three hundred dollars a week to feed and entertain her. He borrowed more money from Denise. He hung cigarettes on his lower lip and banged out a draft of a script. Julia in the back seat of cabs pressed her face against his chest and clutched his collar. He tipped waiters and cabbies thirty and forty percent. He quoted Shakespeare and Byron in funny contexts. He borrowed more money from Denise and decided that she was right, that getting fired was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He wasn't so naive, of course, as to take Eden Procuro's professional effusions at face value. But the more he saw of Eden socially, the more confident he became that his script would get a sympathetic reading. For one thing, Eden was like a mother to Julia. She was only five years older, but she'd undertaken a wholesale recalibration and improvement of her personal assistant. Although Chip never quite shook the feeling that Eden was hoping to cast someone else in the role of Julia's love interest (she habitually referred to Chip as Julia's "escort," not her "boyfriend," and when she talked about Julia's "untapped potential" and her "lack of confidence" he suspected that mate selection was one area in which she hoped to see improvement in Julia), Julia assured him that Eden thought he was "really dear" and "extremely smart." Certainly Eden's husband, Doug O'Brien, was on his side. Doug was a mergers-and-acquisitions specialist at Bragg Knuter & Speigh. He'd set Chip up with a flextime proofreading job and had seen to it that Chip was paid the top hourly wage. Whenever Chip tried to thank him for this favor, Doug made pshawing motions with his hand. "You're the man with the Ph. D.," he said. "That book of yours is scary smart stuff." Chip had soon become a frequent guest at the O'Brien-Procuros' dinner parties in Tribeca and their weekend house parties in Quogue. Drinking their liquor and eating their catered food, he had a foretaste of a success a hundred times sweeter than tenure. He felt that he was really living.

Then one night Julia sat him down and said there was an important fact that she hadn't mentioned earlier, and would he promise not to be too mad at her? The important fact was that she sort of had a husband. The deputy prime minister of Lithuania-a small Baltic country-was a man named Gitanas Misevicius? Well, the fact was that Julia had married him a couple of years ago, and she hoped Chip wouldn't be too mad at her.

Her problem with men, she said, was that she'd grown up without. Her father was a manic-depressive boat salesman whom she remembered meeting once and wished she'd never met at all. Her mother, a cosmetics-company executive, had fobbed Julia off on her own mother, who'd enrolled her in a Catholic girls' school. Julia's first significant experience with men was at college. Then she moved to New York and embarked on the long process of sleeping with every dishonest, casually sadistic, terminally uncommitted really gorgeous guy in the borough of Manhattan. By the age of twenty-eight, she had little to feel good about except her looks, her apartment, and her steady job (which mainly consisted, however, of answering the phone). So when she met Gitanas at a club and Gitanas took her seriously, and by and by produced an actual not-small diamond in a white-gold setting, and seemed to love her (and the guy was, after all, an honest-to-God ambassador to the United Nations; she'd gone and heard him do his Baltic thundering at the General Assembly), she did her level best to repay his kindness. She was As Agreeable As Humanly Possible. She refused to disappoint Gitanas even though, in hindsight, it probably would have been better to disappoint him. Gitanas was quite a bit older and fairly attentive in bed (not like Chip, Julia hastened to say, but not, you know, terrible), and he seemed to know what he was doing with the marriage thing, and so one day she went to City Hall with him. She might even have gone by "Mrs. Misevicius" if it had sounded less idiotic. Once she was married, she realized that the marble floors and black lacquer furniture and heavy modern smoked-glass fixtures of the ambassador's apartment on the East River weren't as entertainingly campy as she'd thought. They were more like unbearably depressing. She made Gitanas sell the place (the chief of the Paraguayan delegation was delighted to get it) and buy a smaller, nicer place on Hudson Street near some good clubs. She found a competent hairstylist for Gitanas and taught him how to pick out clothes with natural fibers. Things seemed to be going great. But somewhere she and Gitanas must have misunderstood each other, because when his party (the VIPPPAKJRIINPB17: the One True Party Unswervingly Dedicated to the Revanchist Ideals of Kazimieras Jaramaitis and the "Independent" Plebiscite of April Seventeen) lost a September election and recalled him to Vilnius to join the parliamentary opposition, he took it for granted that Julia would come along with him. And Julia understood the concept of one flesh, wife cleaving to husband, and so forth; but Gitanas in his descriptions of post-Soviet Vilnius had painted a picture of chronic coal and electricity shortages, freezing drizzles, drive-by shootings, and heavy dietary reliance on horsemeat. And so she did a really terrible thing to Gitanas, definitely the worst thing she'd ever done to anybody. She agreed to go and live in Vilnius, and she sort of got on the plane with Gitanas and sat down in first class and then sneaked off the plane and sort of changed their home phone number and had Eden tell Gitanas, when he called, that she had disappeared. Six months later Gitanas returned to New York for a weekend and made Julia feel really, really guilty. And, yes, no argument, she'd disgraced herself. But Gitanas proceeded to call her certain rough names and he slapped her pretty hard. The upshot of which was that they couldn't be together anymore, but she continued to use their apartment on Hudson Street in exchange for staying married in case Gitanas needed quick asylum in the United States, because apparently things were going from bad to worse in Lithuania.

Anyway, that was the story of her and Gitanas, and she hoped that Chip wouldn't be too mad at her.

And Chip was not. Indeed, at first he not only didn't mind that Julia was married, he adored the fact. He was fascinated by her rings; he talked her into wearing them in bed. Down at the offices of the Warren Street Journal, where he sometimes felt insufficiently transgressive, as if his innermost self were still a nice midwestern boy, he took pleasure in alluding to the European statesman he was "cuckolding." In his doctoral thesis ("Doubtful It Stood: Anxieties of the Phallus in Tudor Drama") he'd written extensively about cuckolds, and under the cloak of his reproving modern scholarship he'd been excited by the idea of marriage as a property right, of adultery as theft.

Before long, though, the thrill of poaching on the diplomat's preserve gave way to bourgeois fantasies in which Chip himself was Julia's husband-her lord, her liege. He became spasmodically jealous of Gitanas Misevicius, who, though Lithuanian, and a slapper, was a successful politician whose name Julia now pronounced with guilt and wistfulness. On New Year's Eve Chip asked her point-blank if she ever thought about divorce. She replied that she liked her apartment ("Can't beat the rent!") and she didn't want to look for another one right now.

After New Year's, Chip returned to his rough draft of "The Academy Purple," which he'd completed in a euphoric twenty-page blaze of keyboard-pounding, and discovered that it had a lot of problems. It looked, in fact, like incoherent hackwork. During the month that he'd spent expensively celebrating its completion, he'd imagined that he could remove certain hackneyed plot elements-the conspiracy, the car crash, the evil lesbians-and still tell a good story. Without these hackneyed plot elements, however, he seemed to have no story at all.

In order to salvage his artistic and intellectual ambitions, he added a long theoretical opening monologue. But this monologue was so unreadable that every time he turned on his computer he had to go and tinker with it. Soon he was spending the bulk of each work session compulsively honing the monologue. And when he despaired of shortening it any further without sacrificing important thematic material, he started fussing with the margins and hyphenation to make the monologue end at the bottom of rather than the top of . He replaced the word "continue" with "go on" to save three spaces, thus allowing the word "(trans) act(ion) s" to be hyphenated after the second t, which triggered a whole cascade of longer lines and more efficient hyphenations. Then he decided that "go on" had the wrong rhythm and that "(trans) act(ion) s" should not be hyphenated under any circumstances, and so he scoured the text for other longish words to replace with shorter synonyms, all the while struggling to believe that stars and producers in Prada jackets would enjoy reading six pages (but not seven!) of turgid academic theorizing.

Once, when he was a boy, there was a total eclipse of the sun in the Midwest, and a girl in one of the poky towns across the river from St. Jude had sat outside and, in defiance of myriad warnings, studied the dwindling crescent of the sun until her retinas combusted.

"It didn't hurt at all," the blinded girl had told the St. Jude Chronicle. "It felt like nothing."

Each day that Chip spent grooming the corpse of a dramatically dead monologue was a day in which his rent and food and entertainment expenses were paid for, in large part, with his little sister's money. And yet as long as the money lasted, his pain was not acute. One day led to another. He rarely got out of bed before noon. He enjoyed his food and his wine, he dressed well enough to persuade himself that he was not a quivering gelatinous mess, and he managed, on four out of five evenings, to hide the worst of his anxiety and foreboding and enjoy himself with Julia. Because the sum he owed Denise was large in comparison to his proofreading wage but small by Hollywood standards, he worked less and less at Bragg Knuter & Speigh. His only real complaint was with his health. On a summer day when his work session consisted of rereading Act I, being struck afresh by its irredeemable badness, and hurrying outside to get some air, he might walk down Broadway and sit on a bench at Battery Park City and let the breeze off the Hudson flow under his collar, and listen to the ceaseless fut-fut of copter traffic and the distant shouts of millionaire Tribeca toddlers, and be overcome with guilt. To be so vigorous and healthy and yet so nothing: neither taking advantage of his good night's sleep and his successful avoidance of a cold to get some work done, nor yet fully entering into the vacation spirit and flirting with strangers and knocking back margaritas. It would have been better, he thought, to do his getting sick and dying now, while he was failing, and save his health and vitality for some later date when, unimaginable though the prospect was, he would perhaps no longer be failing. Of all the things he was wasting-Denise's money, Julia's goodwill, his own abilities and education, the opportunities afforded by the longest sustained economic boom in American history-his sheer physical well-being, there in the sunlight by the river, hurt the worst.

He ran out of money on a Friday in July. Facing a weekend with Julia, who could cost him fifteen dollars at a cinema refreshments counter, he purged the Marxists from his bookshelves and took them to the Strand in two extremely heavy bags. The books were in their original jackets and had an aggregate list price of $3,900. A buyer at the Strand appraised them casually and delivered his verdict: "Sixty-five."

Chip laughed in a breathy way, willing himself not to argue; but his U. K. edition of Jurgen Habermas's Reason and the Rationalization of Society, which he'd found too difficult to read, let alone annotate, was in mint condition and had cost him PS 95.00. He couldn't help pointing this out by way of example.

"Try somewhere else, if you like," the buyer said, his hand hesitating-above the cash register.

"No, no, you're right," Chip said. "Sixty-five is great."

It was pathetically obvious that he'd believed his books would fetch him hundreds of dollars. He turned away from their reproachful spines, remembering how each of them had called out in a bookstore with a promise of a radical critique of late-capitalist society, and how happy he'd been to take them home. But Jurgen Habermas didn't have Julia's long, cool, pear-tree limbs, Theodor Adorno didn't have Julia's grapy smell of lecherous pliability, Fred Jameson didn't have Julia's artful tongue. By the beginning of October, when Chip sent his finished script to Eden Procuro, he'd sold his feminists, his formalists, his structuralists, his poststructuralists, his Freudians, and his queers. To raise money for lunch for his parents and Denise, all he had left was his beloved cultural historians and his complete hardcover Arden Shakespeare; and because a kind of magic resided in the Shakespeare-the uniform volumes in their pale blue jackets were like an archipelago of safe retreats-he piled his Foucault and Greenblatt and hooks and Poovey into shopping bags and sold them all for $115.

He spent sixty dollars on a haircut, some candy, a stain-removal kit, and two drinks at the Cedar Tavern. Back in August, when he'd invited his parents, he'd hoped that Eden Procuro might have read his script and advanced him money before they arrived, but now the only accomplishment and the only gift he had to offer was a home-cooked meal. He went to an East Village deli that sold reliably excellent tortellini and crusty bread. He was envisioning a rustic and affordable Italian lunch. But the deli appeared to have gone out of business, and he didn't feel like walking ten blocks to a bakery that he was certain had good bread, and so he wandered the East Village randomly, trudging in and out of meretricious food stores, hefting cheeses, rejecting breads, examining inferior tortellini. Finally he abandoned the Italian idea altogether and fixed on the only other lunch he could think of-a salad of wild rice, avocado, and smoked turkey breast. The problem then was to find ripe avocados. In store after store he found either no avocados or walnut-hard avocados. He found ripe avocados that were the size of limes and cost $3.89 apiece. He stood holding five of them and considered what to do. He put them down and picked them up and put them down and couldn't pull the trigger. He weathered a spasm of hatred of Denise for having guilted him into inviting his parents to lunch. He had the feeling that he'd never eaten anything in his life but wild-rice salad and tortellini, so blank was his culinary imagination.

Around eight o'clock he ended up outside the new Nightmare of Consumption ("Everything-for a Price!") on Grand Street. A humidity had stolen over the sky, a sulfurous uneasy wind from Rahway and Bayonne. The supergentry of SoHo and Tribeca were streaming through the Nightmare's brushed-steel portals. The men came in various shapes and sizes, but all the women were slim and thirty-six; many were both slim and pregnant. Chip had a collar rash from his haircut and felt unready to be seen by so many perfect women. But right inside the Nightmare's door he glimpsed a box of greens marked SORREL from Belize $0.99.

He entered the Nightmare, snagged a basket, and put one bunch of sorrel in it. Ninety-nine cents. Installed above the Nightmare's coffee bar was a screen that gave running ironic tallies of TODAY'S GROSS RECEIPTS and TODAY'S PROFIT and PROJECTED QUARTERLY PER-SHARE DIVIDEND (Unofficial Non-Binding Estimate Based on Past Quarterly Performances /This Information Provided for Entertainment Purposes Only), and COFFEE SALES THIS STATION. Chip wove among strollers and cell phone antennae to the fish counter, where, as in a dream, he found WILD NORWEGIAN SALMON, LINE CAUGHT on sale at a reasonable price. He pointed at a midsize filet, and to the fishman's question, "What else?" he replied in a crisp tone, almost a smug tone, "That'll do it."

The price on the beautiful paper-wrapped filet that he was handed was $78.40. Luckily, this discovery knocked the wind out of him, otherwise he might have lodged a protest before realizing, as he did now, that the prices at the Nightmare were per quarter pound. Two years ago, two months ago, he would not have made a mistake like this.

"Ha, ha!" he said, palming the seventy-eight-dollar filet like a catcher's mitt. He dropped to one knee and touched his bootlaces and took the salmon right up inside his leather jacket and underneath his sweater and tucked the sweater into his pants and stood up again.

"Daddy, I want sword fish," a little voice behind him said.

Chip took two steps, and the salmon, which was quite heavy, escaped from his sweater and covered his groin, for one unstable moment, like a codpiece.

"Daddy! Sword fish!"

Chip put his hand to his crotch. The dangling filet felt like a cool, loaded diaper. He repositioned it against his abs and tucked in the sweater more securely, zipped his jacket to the neck, and strode purposefully toward the whatever. Toward the dairy wall. Here he found a selection of French cremes fraiches at prices implying transport via SST. The less unaffordable domestic creme fraiche was blocked by a man in a Yankees cap who was shouting into his cell phone while a child, apparently his, peeled back the foil tops of half-liters of French yogurt. She'd peeled back five or six already. Chip leaned to reach behind the man, but his fish belly sagged. "Excuse me," he said.

Like a sleepwalker the man on the phone shuffled aside. "I said fuck him. Fuck him! Fuck that asshole! We never closed. There's no ink on the line. I'll take that asshole down another thirty, you watch me. Honey, don't tear those, if we tear those we have to pay for them. I said it is a fucking buyer's ball as of yesterday. We close on nuffin till this thing bottoms out. Nuffin! Nuffin! Nuffin! Nuffin!"

Chip was approaching the checkout lanes with four plausible items in his basket when he caught sight of a head of hair so new-penny bright it could only belong to Eden Procuro. Who was, herself, slim and thirty-six and hectic. Eden's little son, Anthony, was seated on the upper level of a shopping cart with his back to a four-figure avalanche of shell fish, cheeses, meats, and caviars. Eden was leaning over Anthony and letting him pull on the taupe lapels of her Italian suit and suck on her blouse while, behind his back, she turned the pages of a script that Chip could only pray was not his own. The line-caught Norwegian salmon was soaking through its wrapping, his body heat melting the fats that had given the filet a degree of rigidity. He wanted to escape the Nightmare, but he wasn't prepared to discuss "The Academy Purple" under the current circumstances. He veered down a frosty aisle where the gelati came in plain white cartons with small black lettering. A man in a suit was crouching beside a little girl with hair like copper in sunshine. The girl was Eden's daughter, April. The man was Eden's husband, Doug O'Brien.

"Chip Lambert, what's happening?" Doug said.

There seemed to be no ways but girly ways for Chip to hold his grocery basket while he shook Doug's square hand.

"April's picking out her treat for after dinner," Doug said.

"Three treats," April said.

"Her three treats, right."

"What's that one?" April said, pointing.

"That is a grenadine-nasturtium sorbetto, sugar bunny."

"Do I like it?"

"That I can't tell you."

Doug, who was younger and shorter than Chip, so persistently claimed to be in awe of Chip's intellect and so consistently tested free of any irony or condescension that Chip had finally accepted that Doug really did admire him. This admiration was more grueling than belittlement.

"Eden tells me you finished the script," Doug said, restacking some gelati that April had upset. "Man, I am psyched. This project sounds phenomenal."

April was cradling three rimed cartons against her corduroy jumper.

"What kind did you get?" Chip asked her.

April shrugged extremely, a beginner's shrug.

"Sugar bunny, run those up to Mommy. I'm going to talk to Chip."

As April ran back up the aisle Chip wondered what it would be like to father a child, to always be needed instead of always needing.

"Something I wanted to ask you," Doug said. "Do you have a second? Say somebody offered you a new personality: would you take it? Say somebody said to you, I will permanently rewire your mental hardware in whatever way you want. Would you pay to have that done?"

The salmon paper was sweat-bonded to Chip's skin and tearing open at the bottom. This was not the ideal time to be providing Doug with the intellectual companionship he seemed to crave, but Chip wanted Doug to keep thinking highly of him and encourage Eden to buy his script. He asked why Doug asked.

"A lot of crazy stuff crosses my desk," Doug said. "Especially now with all the money coming home from overseas. All the dot-com issues, of course. We're still trying our very hardest to persuade the average American to happily engineer his own financial ruin. But the biotech is fascinating. I've been reading whole prospectuses about genetically altered squash. Apparently people in this country are eating a lot more squash than I was aware of, and squashes are prone to more diseases than you'd infer from their robust exterior. Either that or. . . Southern Cucumtech is seriously overvalued at thirty-five a share. Whatever. But Chip, this brain thing, man, it caught my eye. Bizarre fact number one is that I'm allowed to talk about it. It's all public knowledge. Is this bizarre?"

Chip was trying to keep his eyes focused on Doug in an interested manner, but his eyes were like children, they wanted to skip up and down the aisles. He was ready, basically, to jump out of his skin. "Yeah. Bizarre."

"The idea," Doug said, "is your basic gut cerebral rehab. Leave the shell and roof, replace the walls and plumbing. Design away that useless dining nook. Put a modern circuit breaker in."

"Uh huh."

"You get to keep your handsome facade," Doug said. "You still look serious and intellectual, a little Nordic, on the outside. Sober, bookish. But inside you're more livable. A big family room with an entertainment console. A kitchen that's roomier and handier. You've got your In-Sink-Erator, your convection oven. An ice-cube dispenser on the refrigerator door."

"Do I still recognize myself?"

"Do you want to? Everybody else still will-at least, the outside of you."

The big glowing tally for TODAY'S GROSS RECEIPTS paused for a moment at $444,447.41 and then went higher.

"My furnishings are my personality," Chip said.

"Say it's a gradual rehab. Say the workmen are very tidy. The brain's cleaned up every night when you get home from work, and nobody can bother you on the weekend, per local ordinance and the usual covenantal restrictions. The whole thing happens in stages-you grow into it. Or it grows into you, so to speak. Nobody's making you buy new furniture."

"You're asking hypothetically."

Doug raised a finger. "The only thing is there might be some metal involved. It's possible you'd set off alarms at the airport. I'm imagining you might get some unwanted talk radio, too, on certain frequencies. Gatorade and other high-electrolyte drinks might be a problem. But what do you say?"

"You're joking, right?"

"Check out the Web site. I'll give you the address. `The implications are disturbing, but there's no stopping this powerful new technology.' That could be the motto for our age, don't you think?"

That a salmon filet was now spreading down into Chip's underpants like a wide, warm slug did seem to have everything to do with his brain and with a number of poor decisions that this brain had made. Rationally Chip knew that Doug would let him go soon and that eventually he might even escape the Nightmare of Consumption and find a restaurant bathroom where he could take the filet out and regain his full critical faculties-that there would come a moment when he was no longer standing amid pricey gelati with lukewarm fish in his pants, and that this future moment would be a moment of extraordinary relief-but for now he still inhabited an earlier, much less pleasant moment from the vantage point of which a new brain looked like just the ticket.

"The desserts were a foot tall!" Enid said, her instincts having told her that Denise didn't care about pyramids of shrimp. "It was elegant elegant. Have you ever seen anything like that?"

"I'm sure it was very nice," Denise said.

"The Dribletts really do things super-deluxe. I'd never seen a dessert that tall. Have you?"

The subtle signs that Denise was exercising patience-the slightly deeper breaths she took, the soundless way she set her fork down on her plate and took a sip of wine and set the glass back down-were more hurtful to Enid than a violent explosion.

"I've seen tall desserts," Denise said.

"Are they tremendously difficult to make?"

Denise folded her hands in her lap and exhaled slowly. "It sounds like a great party. I'm glad you had fun."

Enid had, true enough, had fun at Dean and Trish's party, and she'd wished that Denise had been there to see for herself how elegant it was. At the same time, she was afraid that Denise would not have found the party elegant at all, that Denise would have picked apart its specialness until there was nothing left but ordinariness. Her daughter's taste was a dark spot in Enid's vision, a hole in her experience through which her own pleasures were forever threatening to leak and dissipate.

"I guess there's no accounting for tastes," she said.

"That's true," Denise said. "Although some tastes are better than others."

Alfred had bent low over his plate to ensure that any salmon or haricots verts that fell from his fork would land on china. But he was listening. He said, "Enough."

"That's what everybody thinks," Enid said. "Everybody thinks their taste is the best."

"But most people are wrong," Denise said.

"Everybody's entitled to their own taste," Enid said. "Everybody gets one vote in this country."

"Unfortunately!"

"Enough," Alfred said to Denise. "You'll never win."

"You sound like a snob," Enid said.

"Mother, you're always telling me how much you like a good home-cooked meal. Well, that's what I like, too. I think there's a kind of Disney vulgarity in a foot-tall dessert. You are a better cook than-"

"Oh, no. No." Enid shook her head. "I'm a nothing cook."

"That's not true at all! Where do you think I-"

"Not from me," Enid interrupted. "I don't know where my children got their talents. But not from me. I'm a nothing as a cook. A big nothing." (How strangely good it felt to say this! It was like putting scalding water on a poison-ivy rash.)

Denise straightened her back and raised her glass. Enid, who all her life had been helpless not to observe the goings-on on other people's plates, had watched Denise take a three-bite portion of salmon, a small helping of salad, and a crust of bread. The size of each was a reproach to the size of each of Enid's. Now Denise's plate was empty and she hadn't taken seconds of anything.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" Enid said.

"Yes. That was my lunch."

"You've lost weight."

"In fact not."

"Well, don't lose any more," Enid said with the skimpy laugh with which she tried to hide large feelings.

Alfred was guiding a forkful of salmon and sorrel sauce to his mouth. The food dropped off his fork and broke into violently shaped pieces.

"I think Chip did a good job with this," Enid said. "Don't you think? The salmon is very tender and good."

"Chip has always been a good cook," Denise said. "Al, are you enjoying this? Al?"

Alfred's grip on his fork had slackened. There was a sag in his lower lip, a sullen suspicion in his eyes.

"Are you enjoying the lunch?" Enid said.

He took his left hand in his right and squeezed it. The mated hands continued their oscillation together while he stared at the sunflowers in the middle of the table. He seemed to swallow the sour set of his mouth, to choke back the paranoia.

"Chip made all this?" he said.

"Yes."

He shook his head as though Chip's having cooked, Chip's absence now, overwhelmed him. "I am increasingly bothered by my affliction," he said.

"What you have is very mild," Enid said. "We just need to get the medication adjusted."

He shook his head. "Hedgpeth said it's unpredictable."

"The important thing is to keep doing things," Enid said, "to keep active, to always just go."

"No. You were not listening. Hedgpeth was very careful not to promise anything."

"According to what I read-"

"I don't give a damn what your magazine article said. I am not well, and Hedgpeth admitted as much."

Denise set her wine down with a stiff, fully extended arm.

"So what do you think about Chip's new job?" Enid asked her brightly.

"His-?"

"Well, at the Wall Street Journal."

Denise studied the tabletop. "I have no opinion about it."

"It's exciting, don't you think?"

"I have no opinion about it."

"Do you think he works there full-time?"

"No."

"I don't understand what kind of job it is."

"Mother, I know nothing about it."

"Is he still doing law?"

"You mean proofreading? Yes."

"So he's still at the firm."

"He's not a lawyer, Mother."

"I know he's not a lawyer."

"Well, when you say, `doing law,' or `at the firm'-is that what you tell your friends?"

"I say he works at a law firm. That's all I say. A New York City law firm. And it's the truth. He does work there."

"It's misleading and you know it," Alfred said.

"I guess I should just never say anything."

"Just say things that are true," Denise said.

"Well, I think he should be in law," Enid said. "I think the law would be perfect for Chip. He needs the stability of a profession. He needs structure in his life. Dad always thought he'd make an excellent lawyer. I used to think doctor, because he was interested in science, but Dad always saw him as a lawyer. Didn't you, Al? Didn't you think Chip could be an excellent lawyer? He's so quick with words."

"Enid, it's too late."

"I thought maybe working for the firm he'd get interested and go back to school."

"Far too late."

"The thing is, Denise, there are so many things you can do with law. You can be a company president. You can be a judge! You can teach. You can be a journalist. There are so many directions Chip could go in."

"Chip will do what he wants to do," Alfred said. "I've never understood it, but he is not going to change now."

He marched two blocks in the rain before he found a dial tone. At the first twin phone bank he came to, one instrument was castrated, with colored tassels at the end of its cord, and all that remained of the other was four bolt holes. The phone at the next intersection had chewing gum in its coin slot, and the line of its companion was completely dead. The standard way for a man in Chip's position to vent his rage was to smash the handset on the box and leave the plastic shards in the gutter, but Chip was in too much of a hurry for this. At the corner of Fifth Avenue, he tried a phone that had a dial tone but did not respond when he touched the keypad and did not return his quarter when he hung up nicely or when he picked the handset up and slammed it down. The other phone had a dial tone and took his money, but a Baby Bell voice claimed not to understand what he'd dialed and did not return the money. He tried a second time and lost his last quarter.

He smiled at the SUVs crawling by in ready-to-brake bad-weather automotive postures. The doormen in this neighborhood hosed the sidewalks twice a day, and sanitation trucks with brushes like the mustaches of city cops scoured the streets three times a week, but in New York City you never had to go far to find filth and rage. A nearby street sign seemed to read Filth Avenue. Things cellular were killing public phones. But unlike Denise, who considered cell phones the vulgar accessories of vulgar people, and unlike Gary, who not only didn't hate them but had bought one for each of his three boys, Chip hated cell phones mainly because he didn't have one.

Under the scant protection of Denise's umbrella, he crossed back to a deli on University Place. Brown cardboard had been laid over the scuff rug at the door for traction, but the cardboard was soaked and trampled, its shreds resembling washed-up kelp. Headlines in wire baskets by the door reported yesterday's tanking of two more economies in South America and fresh plunges in key Far Eastern markets. Behind the cash register was a lottery poster: It's not about winning. It's about fun. T

With two of the four dollars in his wallet Chip bought some of the all-natural licorice that he liked. For his third dollar the deli clerk gave him four quarters in change. "I'll take a Lucky Leprechaun, too," Chip said.

The three-leaf clover, wooden harp, and pot of gold that he uncovered weren't a winning, or fun, combination.

"Is there a pay phone around here that works?"

"No pay phone," the clerk said.

"I'm saying, is there one close to here that works?"

"No pay phone!" The clerk reached under the counter and held up a cell phone. "This phone!"

"Can I make one quick call with that?"

"Too late for broker now. Should have call yesterday. Should have buy American."

The clerk laughed in a way that was the more insulting for being good-humored. But then, Chip had reason to be sensitive. Since D-- College had fired him, the market capitalization of publicly traded U. S. companies had increased by thirty-five percent. In these same twenty-two months, Chip had liquidated a retirement fund, sold a good car, worked half-time at an eightieth-percentile wage, and still ended up on the brink of Chapter 11. These were years in America when it was nearly impossible not to make money, years when receptionists wrote MasterCard checks to their brokers at 13.9% APR and still cleared a profit, years of Buy, years of Call, and Chip had missed the boat. In his bones he knew that if he ever did sell "The Academy Purple," the markets would all have peaked the week before and any money he invested he would lose.

Judging from Julia's negative response to his script, the American economy was safe for a while yet.

Up the street, at the Cedar Tavern, he found a working pay phone. Years seemed to have passed since he'd had two drinks here the night before. He dialed Eden Procuro's office and hung up when her voice mail kicked in, but the quarter had already dropped. Directory assistance had a residential listing for Doug O'Brien, and Doug actually answered, but he was changing a diaper. Several minutes passed before Chip was able to ask him if Eden had read the script yet.

"Phenomenal. Phenomenal-sounding project," Doug said. "I think she had it with her when she went out."

"Do you know where she went?"

"Chip, you know I can't tell people where she is. You know that."

"I think the situation qualifies as urgent."

Please deposit-eighty cents-for the next-two minutes-

"My God, a pay phone," Doug said. "Is that a pay phone?"

Chip fed the phone his last two quarters. "I need to get the script back before she reads it. There's a correction I-"

"This isn't about tits, is it? Eden said Julia had a problem with too many tits. I wouldn't worry about that. Generally there's no such thing as too many. Julia's having a really intense week."

Please deposit-an additional-thirty cents-now-

"you what," Doug said.

for the next-two minutes-now-

"most obvious place you-"

or your call will be terminated-now-

"Doug?" Chip said. "Doug? I missed that."

We're sorry-

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm saying, why don't you-"

Goodbye, the company voice said, and the phone went dead, the wasted quarters clanking in its gut. The text on its faceplate had Baby Bell coloration, but it read: ORFIC TELECOM, 3 MINUTES 25C/, EACH ADD'L MIN. 40C/.

The most obvious place to look for Eden was at her office in Tribeca. Chip stepped up to the bar wondering if the new bartender, a streaky blonde who looked like she might front the kind of band that played at proms, remembered him well enough from the night before to take his driver's license as surety on a twenty-buck loan. She and two unrelated drinkers were watching murky football somewhere, Nittany Lion action, brown squiggling figures in a chalky pond. And near Chip's arm, oh, not six inches away, was a nest of singles. Just lying there. He considered how a tacit transaction (pocketing the cash, never showing his face in here again, anonymously mailing reimbursement to the woman later) might be safer than asking for a loan: might be, indeed, the transgression that saved his sanity. He crumpled the cash into a ball and moved closer to the really rather pretty bartender, but the struggling brown round-headed men continued to hold her gaze, and so he turned and left the tavern.

In the back of a cab, watching the wet businesses drift by, he stuffed licorice into his mouth. If he couldn't get Julia back, he wanted in the worst way to have sex with the bartender. Who looked about thirty-nine herself. He wanted to fill his hands with her smoky hair. He imagined that she lived in a rehabbed tenement on East Fifth, he imagined that she drank a beer at bedtime and slept in faded sleeveless tops and gym shorts, that her posture was weary, her navel unassumingly pierced, her pussy like a seasoned baseball glove, her toenails painted the plainest basic red. He wanted to feel her legs across his back, he wanted to hear the story of her forty-odd years. He wondered if she really might sing rock and roll at weddings and bar mitzvahs.

Through the window of the cab he read GAP ATHLETIC as GAL PATHETIC. He read Empire Realty as Vampire Reality.

He was half in love with a person he could never see again. He'd stolen nine dollars from a hardworking woman who enjoyed college football. Even if he went back later and reimbursed her and apologized, he would always be the man who ripped her off when her back was turned. She was gone from his life forever, he could never run his fingers through her hair, and it was not a good sign that this latest loss was making him hyperventilate. That he was too wrecked by pain to swallow more licorice.

He read Cross Pens as Cross Penises, he read ALTERATIONS as ALTERCATIONS.

An optometrist's window offered: HEADS EXAMINED.

The problem was money and the indignities of life without it. Every stroller, cell phone, Yankees cap, and SUV he saw was a torment. He wasn't covetous, he wasn't envious. But without money he was hardly a man.

How he'd changed since D-- College fired him! He no longer wanted to live in a different world; he just wanted to be a man with dignity in this world. And maybe Doug was right, maybe the breasts in his script didn't matter. But he finally understood-he finally got it-that he could simply cut the opening theoretical monologue in its entirety. He could do this correction in ten minutes at Eden's office.

In front of her building he gave the cabby all nine stolen dollars. Around the corner, a six-trailer crew was filming on a cobbled street, kliegs ablaze, generators stinking in the rain. Chip knew the security codes to Eden's building, and the elevator was unlocked. He prayed that Eden hadn't read the script yet. The newly corrected version in his head was the one true script; but the old opening monologue still unhappily existed on the ivory bond paper of the copy Eden had.

Through the glass outer door on the fifth floor he saw lights in Eden's office. That his socks were soaked and his jacket smelled like a wet cow at the seashore and he had no way to dry his hands or hair was certainly unpleasant, but he was still enjoying not having two pounds of Norwegian salmon in his pants. By comparison, he felt fairly well put together.

He knocked on the glass until Eden emerged from her office and peered out at him. Eden had high cheekbones and big watery blue eyes and thin translucent skin. Any extra calories she ate at lunch in L. A. or drank as martinis in Manhattan got burned on her home treadmill or at her private swim club or in the general madness of being Eden Procuro. She was ordinarily electric and flaming, a bundle of hot copper wire; but her expression now, as she approached the door, was tentative or flustered. She kept looking back at her office.

Chip gestured that he wanted in.

"She's not here," Eden said through the glass.

Chip gestured again. Eden opened the door and put her hand on her heart. "Chip, I'm so sorry about you and Julia-"

"I'm looking for my script. Have you read it?"

"I-? Very hastily. I need to read it again. Need to take some notes!" Eden made a scribbling motion near her temple and laughed.

"That opening monologue," Chip said. "I've cut it."

"Oh, good, I love a willingness to cut. Love it." She looked back at her office.

"Do you think, though, that without the monologue-"

"Chip, do you need money?"

Eden smiled up at him with such odd merry frankness that he felt as if he'd caught her drunk or with her pants down.

"Well, I'm not flat broke," he said.

"No, no, of course. But still."

"Why?"

"And how are you with the Web?" she said. "Do you know any Java? HTML?"

"God, no."

"Well, just, come back to my office for a second. Do you mind? Come on back."

Chip followed Eden past Julia's desk, where the only visible Julian artifact was a stuffed toy frog on the computer monitor.

"Now that you two have broken up," Eden said, "there's really no reason you can't-"

"Eden, it's not a breakup."

"No, no, trust me, it's over," Eden said. "It is absolutely over. And I'm thinking you might enjoy a little change of scenery, so you can start getting over it-"

"Eden, listen, Julia and I are having a momentary-"

"No, Chip, sorry, not momentary: permanent." Eden laughed again. "Julia may not be blunt, but I am. And so, when I think about it, there's really no reason for you not to meet. . ." She led Chip into her office. "Gitanas? Incredible stroke of luck here. I have, here, the perfect man for the job."

Reclining in a chair by Eden's desk was a man about Chip's age in a red ribbed leather jacket and tight white jeans. His face was broad and baby-cheeked, his hair a sculpted blond shell.

Eden was practically climaxing with enthusiasm. "Here I've been racking my brain, Gitanas, I can't think of anyone to help you, and probably the best-qualified man in New York City is knocking at the door! Chip Lambert, you know my assistant Julia?" She winked at Chip. "Well, this is Julia's husband, Gitanas Misevicius."

In almost every respect-coloration, shape of head, height and build, and especially the wary, shame-faced smile that he was wearing-Gitanas looked more like Chip than anybody Chip could remember meeting. He was like Chip with bad posture and crooked teeth. He nodded nervously without standing up or extending a hand. "How's it going," he said.

It was safe to say, Chip thought, that Julia had a type.

Eden patted the seat of an unoccupied chair. "Sit sit sit," she told him.

Her daughter, April, was on the leather sofa by the windows with a mess of crayons and a sheaf of paper.

"April, hey," Chip said. "How were those desserts?"

The question seemed not to April's liking.

"She'll try those tonight," Eden said. "Somebody was testing limits last night."

"I was not testing limits," April said.

The paper on April's lap was ivory-colored and had text on its reverse.

"Sit! Sit!" Eden exhorted as she retreated to her birch-laminate desk. The big window behind her was lensed with rain. There was fog on the Hudson. Blackish smudges suggestive of New Jersey. Eden's trophies, on the walls, were movie-ad images of Kevin Kline, Chloe Sevigny, Matt Damon, Winona Ryder.

"Chip Lambert," she told Gitanas, "is a brilliant writer, with a script in development with me right now, and he's got a Ph. D. in English, and, for the last two years, he's been working with my husband doing mergers and acquisitions, and he's brilliant with all the Internet stuff, we were just now talking about Java and HTML, and, as you see, he cuts a very impressive, uh-" Here Eden for the first time actually gave her attention to Chip's appearance. Her eyes widened. "It must be raining cats and dogs out there. Chip's not, well, ordinarily quite so wet. (My dear, you are very wet.) In all honesty, Gitanas, you won't find a better man. And Chip, I'm just-delighted-that you came by. (Although you are very wet.)"

A man by himself could weather Eden's enthusiasm, but two men together had to gaze at the floor to preserve their dignity in the face of it.

"I, unfortunately," Eden said, "am slightly pressed for time. Gitanas having dropped in somewhat unexpectedly. What I would love is if the two of you could go and use my conference room and work things out, and take as long as you like."

Gitanas crossed his arms in the wound-up European style, his fists jammed in his armpits. He didn't look at Chip but asked him: "Are you an actor?"

"No."

"Well, Chip," Eden said, "that's not strictly true."

"Yes, it is. I've never acted in my life."

"Ha-ha-ha!" Eden said. "Chip is being modest."

Gitanas shook his head and looked at the ceiling.

April's sheaf of paper was definitely a screenplay.

"What are we talking about?" Chip said.

"Gitanas is looking to hire someone-"

"An American actor," Gitanas said with disgust.

"To do, uh, corporate PR for him. And for more than an hour now"-Eden glanced at her watch and let her eyes and mouth distend in exaggerated shock-"I've been trying to explain that the actors I work with are more interested in film and stage than in, say, international investment schemes. And tend, also, to have wildly inflated notions of their own literacy. And what I'm trying to explain to Gitanas is that you, Chip, not only have an excellent command of language and jargon, but you don't have to pretend to be an investment expert. You are an investment expert."

"I'm a part-time legal proofreader," Chip said.

"An expert in the language. A gifted screenwriter."

Chip and Gitanas traded glances. Something about Chip's person, perhaps the shared physical traits, seemed to interest the Lithuanian. "Are you looking for work?" Gitanas said.

"Possibly."

"Are you a drug addict?"

"No."

"I've got to go to the bathroom," Eden said. "April, honey, come along. Bring your drawings."

April obediently hopped off the sofa and went to Eden.

"Bring your drawings, though, honey. Here." Eden gathered up the ivory pages and led April to the door. "You men talk."

Gitanas put a hand to his face and squeezed his round cheeks, scratched his blond stubble. He looked out the window.

"You're in government," Chip said.

Gitanas tilted his head. "Yes and no. I was for many years. But my party is kaput, I'm an entrepreneur now. Sort of a governmental entrepreneur, let's say."

One of April's drawings had fallen to the floor between the window and the sofa. Chip extended a toe and pulled the page toward him.

"We have so many elections," Gitanas said, "nobody reports them internationally anymore. We have three or four elections a year. Elections are our biggest industry. We have the highest annual per capita output of elections of any country in the world. Higher than Italy, even."

April had drawn a portrait of a man with a regular body of sticks and blobs and oblongs, but for a head he had a black and blue snarled vortex, a ratty scrabble, a scribbled mess. Through the ivory bond, Chip could see faint blocks of dialogue and action on the other side.

"Do you believe in America?" Gitanas said.

"Jesus, where to begin," Chip said.

"Your country which saved us also ruined us."

With his toe Chip lifted one corner of April's drawing and identified the words-