Chapter 36

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Sunday

After Lucas had left her the previous day, Chelsea spent the rest of the afternoon and night with her misery. She told the nursing staff she didn’t want any more visitors. She couldn’t believe it could possibly hurt so much after only knowing him a week. Chelsea couldn't remember feeling this awful, even when Wes left her and they’d been together three years.

Wes. He hadn’t left her though had he?

She shuddered and decided that door needed to be closed, permanently. Guilt would consume her if she didn’t. She didn’t want to believe her very existence drove Andrew to destroy so many lives. He had been unstable and she should be grateful for being alive. She had assumed Lucas would be too but how wrong she’d been. Did she push too hard, ask too many questions? Had she wanted too much too soon? She’d pushed Lucas away with her excessive questions, her neediness.

The idea of returning to her empty house filled with memories drove a wedge of pain through her already shattered heart. The thought of getting on with her life or even Bloom held little appeal. What was she going to do now? Chelsea pondered over this while nursing her heartache. She had some decisions to make.

She’d made up her mind only moments before Charlotte was wheeled in again for a visit after lunch.

“Sorry I haven’t come to visit again before now but the drill sergeant nurse wouldn’t let me.” She frowned at the nurse pushing the chair. “She says we need our rest but I feel perfectly rested and can’t wait to get out of here.”

“In a couple of days,” the nurse told her and then left.

“So you look as gloomy as me. Are you ready to go home too?”

“Yes but not back to my house. I want to go home, back to Mum and Dad’s.”

“You probably need a holiday. It’s a good idea.”

“Not for a holiday, Charlotte. Permanently.”

“What? Why?”

“There’s nothing for me here.”

“What about Lucas? And Bloom?”

“The shop can be sold. I can open one down there. Since Mrs. Newman’s store closed, there’s no florist and there is a whole market waiting to be serviced.”

“What about Lucas?’

“What about him?”

“I thought you were in love with him.”

“I am, it seems - he isn’t.”

“What happened?”

“He decided I wasn’t worth sticking around for.”

“He’s just scared. He was going out of his mind when you were missing. Someone doesn’t do that if they don’t care, Chelsea. He’ll come around.”

“If that really was the case, where is he now I’m safe? Besides I’m not sitting around here waiting for him to make up his mind.”

“I’m not saying that. I’m simply suggesting you hold off making any decisions right now. Give it a bit of time and then come home.”

“I’ve made my decision. I’ll call Mum later and have her put the house up for rent or sale. The shop I can sell when I get home.”

“Is this what you really want?”

“No, yes, I don’t know.”

The drill sergeant returned. “That’s long enough.”

“Of course it is,” Charlotte said, glaring at the nurse. “Please just think about it some more, Chels,” she said as she was wheeled away.

* * *

That afternoon the doctor came in and checked on her.

“How are you feeling, Chelsea?

“Sore.” She offered a small smile.

“I’m pleased with how you’re progressing. You have finished your course of antibiotics and your blood tests show you are free of infection. Your wounds are healing well, so I think you can go home in the morning.”

“Thanks, Doctor.”

“You’re welcome.” He offered her a warm smile before making notes on her chart.

Chelsea was grateful to be leaving and couldn’t wait to pack her things so she could get to her parents' house as soon as possible. Now that she’d made the decision to be where she felt happy and safe, she was anxious to get started.

“My only condition for sending you home early is you have to promise to rest.”

“I will.” He smiled again and left her to it.

Moments later Carrie walked in, her expression guarded as she sat in the chair.

“Hey, Chelsea, how are you feeling?” She stopped when Chelsea turned to her. “Ouch! Looking at you, I think I have my answer.” She smiled.

“I think it looks worse than it feels.” Chelsea smiled in return, trying to feign a happy face.

“How are you, really?”

“I’ll be better when I go home.”

“When are they releasing you?”

“Tomorrow morning then I’ll be packing to go home, back to my parents' house.”

“How long are you going for?”

“I’m going to stay. There is nothing for me here anymore. I’m going to sell the shop and start again.”

“Lucas does love you. He’s just scared.”

Chelsea just shrugged. “I need to be around people that love me right now. I need to … heal.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re very brave.”

“I feel a little bit like a coward, like I’m running away.”

“Sweetie, you’re not a coward, Lucas is.”

Chelsea shrugged again, what more was there to say? He no longer wanted to be in her life and she had to accept it.

They chatted about other things for a few minutes until Chelsea pretended she was tired and Carrie left.

The moment she was gone, Chelsea called her mother. After a long drawn out conversation with Sarah, who asked numerous times if she was sure it was what she wanted to do, Chelsea assured her it was. Sarah told her she’d take care of it on Monday.

* * *

Hoping he wouldn’t have time to think about her, Lucas buried himself in work. He would get over her in time; didn’t they say it healed all wounds?

When Maggie came in, she took one look at Lucas and knew immediately he hadn’t sorted things out or made the right decision.

“Do not even start with me, Maggie and thanks for calling my sister again.”

“I’m just trying to help you, Lucas. I want you to be happy. I was starting to enjoy the new you.”

“Well, I just want everyone to stay out of my business.”

“Ok, point taken. Now where are we with the arson case? Better get me up to speed.”

Lucas ran through the case and his findings along with what the arson specialist from the fire department had discovered. They spent the remainder of the morning conducting interviews and deciding on the next course of action.

By the end of a long day fatigue began to kick in, so Lucas, after grabbing a takeout dinner, went home to crash. He was just about to jump into bed, when his phone rang.

What now?

“Hudson.”

“I’m sorry about last night, honey.”

“That’s ok, Carrie. I’m used to it.”

“Ha ha, look, I’m just worried about you.”

“I’ll be right.”

“Ok but I have something else to say and then I’ll drop it.”

“Good because I’m tired and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“She’s leaving.”

“Who is and where?”

“Don’t play dumb, Lucas. Chelsea is leaving the hospital and the city. She’s going back to live with her parents. I think she’s selling the shop and moving permanently.”

His heart stopped when he realised he would probably never see her again.

You weren’t going to anyway.

This is what he tried to tell himself but he couldn’t understand why he suddenly felt so lost and alone.

“Lucas, you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Well, are you going to let her go?”

“It’s not my choice, Carrie. It’s hers.”

“Yes but you could change her choice.”

“She’ll be better off with her family. They’ll take care of her.”

“So can you.”

“Cleary. I did a rotten job of that already.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Lucas.” When he didn’t answer, she continued. “Okay fine, I just thought I would tell you, so you would at least realise that she would be gone from your life for good and let you discover how you feel about that. Good night.” Then she was gone.

Chelsea was leaving? How did he feel about this? Like someone had taken a knife and stabbed him through the heart.

She’ll be better off.

He went to bed and dreamt about her beautiful face being constantly out of reach. When he reached for her, she moved further away until he couldn’t see her anymore. Lucas woke up with a start and looked around the blackened room. Would he ever be able to escape his dreams?

* * *

Chelsea didn’t intentionally tell Carrie that she was leaving, it had slipped out. Well, sort of. She knew that deep down she did want to know what Lucas’ reaction would be to her leaving. Would he care?

She spent her last night in hospital, curled in a ball, wondering if she would ever be as happy again as she was for that one week with Lucas. Chelsea had believed she had found the one man she had wanted to spend forever with. Her Pa had said she would know. Had she gotten it wrong all over again?