Chapter 34

Heartbreak

Sunday

Gavin and Lauren called by to see Chelsea with a large bouquet of flowers from Bloom, which brightened the room but did little to shift her dread. She put on a brave face for her visitors who filtered in over the afternoon and felt slightly comforted by the friendly faces of her family and friends. None of them was Lucas. Chelsea’s heartache was more intense than all her external injuries combined.

Her thoughts went to Wes and her heart broke for the loss of his life. The only consolation was that their love had been torn apart by a heartless killer, not because of anything she had done. Then again, Andrew had murdered him because of her. What was worse?

Her first love was murdered because of his association with her and the second absent when she needed him. Lucas. How could he stay away for so long? Why was he avoiding her? If it was him and not her lying in the hospital bed, she would never have left his side. She understood he was working but was a five minute visit too much to ask? Annoyance replaced despondency for the moment until realisation hit. Did he care so little about her? Did he love her at all? Maybe she was only a passing fancy? Another conquest. Or had she simply driven him away? Despair overwhelmed her again. Deciding to find out once and for all, she reached for the phone.

“Hudson,” his voice sent her heart into sudden nervous palpitations. Did she really want to hear this?

“Hi,” she squeaked. Now that she had him on the phone, she didn’t know what she wanted to say.

“Hello, Chelsea,” he answered her in a formal, polite tone. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better.”

“Yeah, um, I suppose you have. I hope they’re looking after you.”

What is with the tone? Why is he being courteous, polite, just as he would with someone he didn’t know? Like a witness!

“Of course, it’s a hospital, Lucas,” she said. Was it possible her heart could break further?

“I’m sorry I haven’t been in to see you. I’ve been swamped and there’s a new case.”

“Five minutes wouldn’t hurt you, Lucas.”

“I’ll come a bit later, okay?”

“Suit yourself.” She hung up.

What was with him? Why was he being so indifferent? She was right he didn’t love her. What little was left of Chelsea’s broken heart shattered to the floor.

* * *

After attending the arson scene, Lucas drove around for a while and tried to get his head together. Chelsea’s call caught him off guard and he hadn’t known what to say. Guilt clutched his chest but he still could not bring himself to see her. He couldn’t bear the thought of ending it with her either. Confusion played havoc in his mind.

His thoughts drifted back to the previous day. After leaving the hospital, he’d gone back to the station and filed his report regarding the shooting. He wanted to get it out of the way so the case could be closed and he wouldn’t have to think about it or her.

He’d gone home to catch up on some much needed sleep but it hadn’t come. All he could think about was the knife at her throat and the blood running down her neck. He had never wanted to get involved with anyone, ever. Then he’d met Chelsea and she’d turned his world upside down.

Her kidnapping nearly sent him crazy. He never wanted to feel dread and helplessness again, as he had the day his parents died. But Lucas did feel it all over again and it was almost too much. He had to walk away. He wouldn’t be able to take it again.

That morning, after a useless attempt at trying to rest, he discovered he still wasn’t ready to face anything just yet, especially her. He called Maggie and asked her to cover for him for a few hours and she kindly said she would.

“Take all the time you need,” she told him. “As long as the decision you make is the right one.”

He’d spent all morning thinking about her and their time together, which merely caused his heart to ache. If it hurt this much and she was still alive, imagine how much it would hurt if she wasn’t. This was the mantra he repeated over and over but his heart wouldn’t listen. So to escape reliving their memories, he showered and went to work.

Now he didn’t know what to do. Maggie was right - he was a coward and he decided he’d better make a decision, so he drove towards the hospital.

* * *

Chelsea was lost in her memories when Lucas trudged in, eyes downcast. He slumped into the nearby chair. She noticed immediately that he could not, would not, lift his eyes to her. She knew they would be dark and troubled.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m not going to tell you until you look at me.”

He brought his eyes to hers and the unmistakable look of regret and sadness was etched within them. His expression however, remained blank.

“I’m fine,” she said shortly.

“Chelsea …” He paused as he traced her injuries with his eyes before looking down again. “I can’t go through that again. Losing my parents and seeing them that day was the worst thing that has happened to me, until Thursday. I never wanted to ever get close to anyone so I wouldn’t ever have to feel loss like that again and …” He trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“And what, Lucas?” she said coolly. “You would rather be alone and sad than scared and happy?”

“Something like that,” he mumbled.

She didn’t answer, so he continued. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I guess I just got lost in the moment and I ....”

“Just go,” she said to him cutting him off.

“Chelsea I …”

“I ... said ....go.”

He stood up and walked out without looking at her. Dumbfounded, Chelsea curled up and hugged the pillow to her chest. Hot tears stung her face as the pain consumed her.