Chapter 23

Elle

Tuesday

Drained from an emotionally raw morning, Chelsea’s head ached and her eyes stung. Upon arriving home, she decided to rest. After a dream-filled nap, she located Charlotte and Sarah outside eating their lunch and enjoying the sunshine. Chelsea, suddenly famished, tucked into the sandwiches and iced tea lovingly prepared by Sarah.

“Are you feeling better, honey?” Sarah asked.

“Yes, much better.” She managed a slight smile. “I hope I don’t have to do that again in a hurry.”

“It’s never easy to say goodbye to someone you love.”

“As much as I loved Elle very much and I’ll miss her a lot, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be a family member. I don’t know how Lucas coped with the loss of his parents or stayed so strong for me today.”

“Lucas had Carrie.”

“I really don’t think he has ever gotten over it. I believe his initial bluntness towards me was unconscious. He has been so busy pushing everyone away, it became an automatic reaction, almost a natural response to attraction.”

“He’s taking a chance with you, Chelsea, which indicates to me it’s getting easier for him, although it has taken the poor boy an awfully long time to get over it. I remember when your father lost your Gran, he was heartbroken for quite a while, and he was an adult. I can’t imagine how a young man could deal with such a tragic loss, and witnessing the aftermath too.” She shook her head in disbelief at the horror. “I feel for Carrie too as she, being the eldest, would’ve needed to be strong enough for both of them. Perhaps, in the end, this made it easier for her.”

“I can barely imagine it, much less live through the ordeal. I think Lucas is amazing. He has a strength I can’t comprehend and I admire him for it.” Chelsea stopped and stared into the garden for a few moments. “I would like to find someone else to live here but feel like I would be replacing Elle.”

“You‘ll never replace her, dear, but it’s nice to have company too.”

“Maybe Lucas will move in with you,” Charlotte said, pushing love, as always.

“I think it is a bit soon for that, don’t you?” Chelsea asked.

“Is there a time limit on falling in love? The only thing that is going to change is the intensity.”

“That wasn’t the case with Wes. He just upped and left.”

“Wes was different and there was always something about him that felt wrong.”

“That’s what Pa said. What felt wrong was he didn’t love me. I don’t want to take the chance as quickly this time.”

“I think it’s too late for that,” Charlotte informed her. “You’re already in love with him. I can tell by the goofy look on your face all the time, even in grief.”

“Yes, I suppose it’s too late.” She smiled.

Deciding that a lazy afternoon relaxing in the yard was essential, a bottle of champagne was opened and instead of mourning Elle, they resolved to celebrate her life. The first glass after their toast began to lift their spirits somewhat. They avoided talking about death and the evil lurking out there somewhere. Knowing there was an officer at the front door and that they could still sit unseen in the private back garden helped alleviate Chelsea’s fears a little.

Chelsea told stories about Elle and her memories of their time together, which lightened her heart. This was definitely the best way to say goodbye to Elle and she thanked Charlotte for thinking of it. Chelsea knew Elle would have appreciated this much more than the gloominess of bereavement.

The sun began to descend and the dusk regaled them with pinks and purples. Chelsea thought it a fitting way to end the day she’d said goodbye to her friend. Darkness ended their outdoor party. They moved inside and Sarah prepared dinner. The girls opened another bottle of champagne. Chelsea, feeling tipsy, began giggling hysterically at everything Charlotte said and an overwhelming happiness consumed her. She couldn’t wait for Lucas to arrive. She missed him and longed to share the celebrations and her champagne buzz with him.

* * *

After discovering the missing girl had actually packed her things and simply left, Lucas drove to Chelsea’s house. His frustration and confusion grew from the endless dead ends and because, as far as they knew, another girl hadn’t been abducted. Although this pleased him somewhat, he was suspicious nonetheless. Surely he wasn’t finished? Could he have simply stopped? Killers this bloodthirsty rarely stopped unless captured - escalation was usually the norm. They would need to check missing persons again in the morning.

He forced thoughts of the killer from his mind. His excitement grew as he thought of his girl. He wondered how she was fairing after her difficult ordeal. Funerals, although a good way to say goodbye, were never pleasant.

The girls were cleaning up when Lucas entered after dismissing Officer Lewis. He could hear them playfully fighting, their squeals and giggles a wonderful welcome. He crept quietly in their direction and winked at Sarah, sitting at the table, on the way past. He watched as Chelsea and Charlotte, while attempting to wash the dishes, flicked bubbles and water at each other.

“I hope I won’t have to arrest you two for disturbing the peace,” Lucas said, coming into kitchen. They both squealed again, this time with fright. “I’m sure only dogs can hear you, though.”

“Lucas!” Chelsea said giddily. “Are you going to use your handcuffs, Detective?” She sidled over to him with her arms up, wrists together and his desire was instantaneous. How does she do it to me?

“As much as the idea appeals to me, I think I want to kiss you.” He pulled her roughly to him to give her a kiss filled with urgency.

“Okay, I think that is my cue to leave,” Charlotte groaned. “You can finish the dishes.”

Lucas lifted a hand to her hair to remove the bubbles lingering there.

“It’s about time you got here. I’ve missed you.” She kissed him again. “And from what I can tell, you missed me too.” She smiled seductively.

“I should be late more often then. You seem happier than I expected, this being a good thing by the way.”

“We were celebrating Elle with some bubbly and I guess I’m a little tipsy.”

“I like it.”

“You’ll like it more later,” she purred.

“I want to like it now.” He grabbed her hand and all but dragged her to the stairs.

“Good night,” she said cheerily to Sarah and Charlotte as they hurried past.

* * *

“I want to know everything about you,” Chelsea said as they lay entwined. “Tell me something, anything.”

“There isn’t much to tell.” He didn’t want to taint this life with anything from before her.

“Who was your first girlfriend?” He stiffened.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No.”

“I promise I won’t be jealous ... much.”

“I had no life before you.”

“Lucas, as sweet as that is, I want to know.”

“I was with Stacy the night my parents died. She was my first ... everything. That night was the first time for us both. I was late because ... well you know. Anyway, it probably saved my life. I broke up with her the next day. I felt guilty, ashamed that I was getting my rocks off while ...”

“Oh well, I’m glad you were late.”

“That’s what Carrie says. I haven’t had or wanted a serious relationship since then, until now.”

“Really?”

“Yes I never want to go through that again.”

“You mean you’re serious about us? I know we’ve only known each other a week, but it feels right being with you. I know that’s crazy.”

“Yeah it is a bit but I feel the same.” He paused and his voice turned serious. “Promise me you won’t leave the door unlocked again, like it was tonight. I know the officer is on the door ...”

“I promise. I’m sorry, it's habit keeping it open.”

“So are you okay after this morning?”

“Yes. I know Elle wouldn’t have wanted me moping around. She would be really happy for us.” Her voice broke.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“I need and want to be able talk about her. I’ll miss her a lot but she’s gone and there is nothing I can do but remember her.” She lifted her head to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry I made you come to the funeral today. It must have been difficult.”

“At first I thought I wasn’t going to be able to handle it but then guilt took over.”

“It wasn’t your fault, what happened to them.”

“That wasn’t why I felt guilty.”

“Why then?” She searched his face with her trusting green eyes and the words tumbled out.

“I was thinking about myself and not you. I kept wondering why my memories aren’t happy ones, why I have never gotten over this. I thought I had, until this case and today. It is the first funeral I’ve been to since. Thinking of them still brought pain. I thought I was over it, it was so long ago, but these murders have rehashed all the anger and pain that I pushed aside for all these years. I’ve been in homicide for five years but never have I come across a case so callous, so similar to their deaths. I learned to switch off and focus only on the case and never allowed any feelings to surface. Maybe I would have dealt with it sooner if I was confronted with something like this before. There were many times I thought I wouldn’t make it through but somehow managed to bury it all, until last week. I have never allowed myself to grieve and I think this is why my memories are painful. I don’t want them to be. I want to be happy when I remember them. It’s time to move on.”

“I’m sorry I asked you to come. It was selfish of me.”

“No, Chelsea, I should never have let my feelings get in the way of being there for you. I’m upset with myself.” She lay silent for a moment.

“Tell me about them.” She waited, wondering whether he was going to speak, until he cleared his throat.

“My Dad was a good man but had trouble showing his feelings. We were close in the usual distant father-and-son type way. Mum ...” He cleared his throat again.

“It’s okay, I thought it would help. You don’t have to say anymore.”

“It does help. Mum and I were close. She possessed all the qualities I admire in a person - unconditional love, empathy and passion. I’m more like Dad, though. In many ways I wish I was more like her.”

“Lucas, you are. Your passion is why you are who you are. It is very much a part of you. Your inability to let yourself feel or express those emotions is how you differ. You feel them all, you just never let them out.”

“Where were you when I needed you all these years?”

“Waiting for you.” She smiled at him and he lent down to kiss her.

“I’ll do everything I can to find the guy who did this, Chelsea. I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. This is my promise to you.”

She kissed him, then tickled his ribs. “Enough talking, Detective. I think it’s time for you to show me that passionate side of yours again.”

“You are insatiable.”

“Are you complaining?” she asked with an eyebrow cocked.

“Not one bit.”