14
‘SHOW US YOUR DEAD’
I hope I die with the best fucking news pic of
all time on my neg. - it wouldn’t really be worth it otherwise
...
Ken Oosterbroek’s diary, Friday, 20 May
1988

18 April 1994
The youths were silent as they vainly tried to
fend off the soldiers’ heavy military boots thudding against their
heads and bodies. I climbed on to the table in the tiny room,
trying to get a view of the assault as Joao and then London-based
freelance photographer Mikey Persson went to their knees, their
flashes firing intermittently. Shit, I thought, they’re getting
frames and I can’t see a thing. I could just hear the muffled thump
of leather on flesh and the occasional soldier’s curse. The
blueuniformed South African peace-keeping soldiers had stormed the
house, an ANC hideout in one of the dilapidated homes in the dead
zone, and captured the youths with their battered AK-47 assault
rifles inside. It was the second day of the National Peace-Keeping
Force’s full deployment in the township. They were tasked with
separating the warring factions, and the idea was that this
transitional military force, selected from the liberation guerrilla
armies, the homeland security forces and the South African Defence
Force, would have more legitimacy than the apartheid state’s police
or defence forces. But they
found themselves jeered, stoned and shot at by both township
residents and hostel-dwellers, both of whom felt that the
peace-keepers were biased in favour of their enemy. They were
suffering the peace-keepers’ curse - trained to kill but tasked to
pacify.
These peace-keepers clearly thought it their right
to kick their prisoners. The young fighters, by their silent
resignation to the punishment, accepted that being assaulted was
their due. Despite wanting to get pictures of the assault, we
photographers did not find it at all extraordinary either - it was
the South African way. The irony was that many of these black
peace-keepers had fled the country to join guerrilla armies to
escape the police brutality they had suffered during the
suppression of the 1976 Soweto uprising, all the way through to the
death squads of the 80s and 90s.
The peace-keepers ceased the beating and ordered us
to get out. Within minutes they emerged, displaying the weapons
they had seized, and pushing the three bleeding self-defence unit
members ahead of them. By now more ANC supporters had gathered in
the overgrown yard. They were using a combination of threats and
pleas in an effort to negotiate the release of their comrades, but
more importantly they wanted the weapons returned. The
peace-keepers were having no part of that discussion and as the
confrontation became more aggressive, the heavily armed soldiers
took up defensive positions opposite the apparently unarmed kids.
We quickly moved behind the line of kneeling blue uniforms, framing
the shot in case they did open fire on the comrades. But the kids
decided it was a losing battle and backed down. We followed the
soldiers as they herded their prisoners through the no-man’s-land
of the dead zone towards their armoured vehicles, parked in Inkatha
territory.
Within minutes, the peace-keepers were under fire
from the ANC side - an unequivocal response to the arrest of their
fellow fighters. The peace-keepers’ commander, a white captain,
barked out orders for his men to deploy along the street. We
followed closely as the soldiers made their way towards the source
of the gunfire. They crouched against the meagre cover afforded by
fences and walls, and we followed.
Suddenly the captain was screaming at us, telling us to leave the
area or he would have us shot. We all leapt up, breaking cover and
charging up to him, entirely forgetting the danger of standing up
in the middle of a skirmish. ‘Who the fuck do you think you are to
threaten us?’ Joao shouted, poking the podgy officer in the chest
with his forefinger. Jim and I were also shouting at him, while
Ken, towering over all of us, was yelling too. The officer was
clearly startled at being mobbed by civilians, brandishing cameras
and righteous indignation. He was from the old school where anyone
in uniform held power over mere civilians. But the old days were
gone, and we were vehement in letting him know that there no longer
was a State of Emergency that prohibited journalists from being at
such scenes. But it was more our combined aggression than our legal
right to be there that made him back down. The scene must have
bemused the ANC gunmen who had been firing in our direction,
because despite our little group being an easy target, no further
shots were fired. Good street theatre.
Everyone calmed down and I took the captain to the
side of the road to discuss our presence. He maintained that we
were getting in the way of his men, endangering them. I convinced
him that we would stay behind his men and that we had all done this
before, in wars around the globe. We ended up with a reasonable
compromise, but the fire-fight was over - the pause to watch our
little drama had defused the situation. The peace-keepers were now
ready to leave the area and that left us stranded deep in Inkatha
territory. Inkatha was not very accepting of the presence of
journalists - they were in fact openly hostile, and for us to now
have to walk out of Inkatha’s Ulundi stronghold, across a kilometre
of the dead zone into ANC territory, would have been extremely
dangerous. I asked my new acquaintance - Captain Alberts - if I
could get a ride out in the armoured vehicle. The plan was to go
for our car so that I could return to collect my colleagues who
refused to ride with the peace-keepers, a principled stand of no
significance, which simply meant I had to drive across the
front-line twice.
Back in the ANC area, things had quieted down. Some
of the foreign photographers had brought in hand-held radio
scanners that could pick
up the police frequencies. While standard equipment in the US and
many other places, the scanners were illegal in South Africa.
During the early days of the war, Kevin had managed to get a
scanner from a towtrucker friend of his. It may have been faulty,
but in any case we never figured out how to use it. But the new
ones that had come in were great and since most of the police
message traffic was in Afrikaans, we local boys were essential if
the scanners were to be useful. While listening to the various
police frequencies, we overheard a message that sounded as though a
policeman had been killed. But the static, crackle and police
verbal shorthand meant we missed where it had taken place. Ken,
Joao, Jim and I began cruising the area in the car, frantically
trying to pick up an intelligible reference to where the dead cop
was. After half an hour of fruitless driving and listening, we
joked about going to the police station and asking them directly.
Right, maybe Ken - known for his lack of tact - should be the one
to go in. Joao imitated Ken’s gruff voice: ‘Show us your dead!’ We
all laughed, then somehow Ken figured out where the incident had
occurred. We raced to an open field next to the cemetery in
Kathlehong and found three wounded black teenagers lying on the
ground, surrounded by policemen. The cops were surprised to see us
and said the kids had fired at them and that they had all been
wounded when police returned fire. It was unclear what had
happened, but there was a strange atmosphere; something weird had
gone down, but no one was about to tell us about it. We took
pictures and, vaguely disappointed (no pictures of dead cops),
returned to the dead zone in Khumalo Street.
There was a lull and dozens of journalists had
gathered in the side streets waiting for the next phase in the
action. There was an air of expectancy: it was clear that Thokoza
was gearing up for a major battle. I was thirsty, a little bored,
and decided to make the dash across Khumalo Street to buy us cold
drinks, which meant risking 30 metres of possible sniper fire. In
retrospect it was stupid to risk getting shot for a Coke but at the
time I felt that the risk was negligible and, in any event, the
crossing was uneventful. I bought drinks from a small tuck shop,
but they did not have enough change. ‘Never mind, keep it,’ I
said. ‘No, I will find you change,’ the shop-owner insisted. It
was just a couple of rand and I said to keep the change and then
sprinted back across to where the guys were waiting. Both Ken and
Kevin took pictures of me racing across the tar, a big grin on my
face and bottles of Coke in my hands. We swallowed the cold drinks
greedily, then the shop-owner came charging across the road with my
change. I laughed and again told him that he should keep it;
finally he accepted the money and ran back again. He had wanted to
make sure I did not think he was trying to cheat me by pretending
to not have change. It was just another of the quirky things that
happened amidst the chaos and carnage, small displays of goodwill,
humour and outright craziness.
Kevin had to go: he had to return to Johannesburg
to be interviewed about the Pulitzer he had won just a week back.
Joao told him to cancel, that it was dumb to leave now as the
township was going to cook, but Kevin left anyway, saying he would
be back in the afternoon. A few minutes after Kevin had left, ANC
activists decided to string a ‘Vote Mandela’ banner across Khumalo
Street, within easy range of the gunmen in the hostel. Everyone
knew that this would provoke a response from the hostel-dwellers.
As the comrades struggled to tie the long banner between a
pine-tree and a lamp-post, we gathered under them, waiting, the
peace-keepers’ armoured vehicle between us and Mshaya’zafe Hostel.
It was not long before the expected shots rang out. Everyone
scattered for cover and the peace-keepers’ vehicle trundled up the
deserted street. We followed, using the slow-moving vehicle for
cover. BBC journalist Jeremy Bowen was doing a stand-up further
down Khumalo Street. Finishing the piece, he watched the group of
photographers follow the blue vehicle up the street. ‘One of those
arseholes is going to get shot,’ he said to himself.
The armoured vehicle was accelerating. I looked to
the side and saw Jim leaning forward, straining to keep up with the
vehicle. It was obvious that we were going to lose the race and we
peeled off, making for the safety of the houses lining the street.
Civilians were crowding the pavement and peering out of front yards
to watch the action. There was an atmosphere of excitement and glee
- the soldiers were going to
take on their enemy for them. Another episode of the
neighbourhood’s favourite spectator sport was about to unfold, but
this time with well-armed soldiers on their team. A self-defence
unit member appeared with an AK and we followed as he threaded his
way along the narrow alleys that led through the houses. By the
time we emerged near the derelict petrol station on Khumalo Street
again, we found that the peace-keepers had formed a barrier of
armoured vehicles to prevent the ANC supporters crossing the
concrete forecourt towards the hostel. Our gun-toting guide melted
into the crowd. We kept moving and the line of soldiers let us
through.
The first thing we saw was a peace-keeper hopping
across to an armoured vehicle, leaning on a colleague who was
carrying his boot. He had shot himself in the foot. Joao and I
followed him, taking pictures, and after he had struggled into the
back of the high vehicle we pulled away and exchanged malicious
grins. It was a silly picture, one that showed the peace-keepers to
be farcically unprepared for this nasty neighbourhood war they
found themselves in. We should have thought about that a little
more. We moved on, to the long pre-cast concrete wall that marked
the end of the garage forecourt and that shielded us from the outer
wall of the hostel, some 20 metres further ahead.
Dozens of soldiers had taken up positions along the
wall, crouching in the rank profusion of weeds and grass. Their
officers were moving among them, preparing them to advance around
the edge of the protective wall to charge the hostel that the
sniper was firing from. The windows of the hostel that faced us had
long ago been blocked by plywood and iron-sheeting, and the walls
were pockmarked by the bullets from many gun battles. The soldiers
were scared - this was more than they had bargained for when they
signed on as peace-keepers. Some were so reluctant that a stocky
black officer was kicking them to get them moving. Though doubtless
a time-tried military motivational method, it did not seem to be
working too well. Ken, Gary, Jim, Joao, several other
photographers, a couple of television cameramen and I were all
lined up parallel to the soldiers, focusing our lenses on their
clearly terrified expressions. I approached the black officer who
had
been using his boot to encourage his men, ‘We are not going to get
in your way, but we want to follow you guys in. We’ll stay behind
you. Is that OK?’ ‘Sure, that’s fine,’ he said. ‘Hey, and if one of
us gets hurt, you will help us, right?’ I half-joked. He smiled
back.
There was a tense, anticipatory lull as the solders
readied themselves. We waited for the moment when we would have to
fling ourselves around the wall and into the line of fire.
Adrenaline was pumping into my veins. I was scared, but it did not
occur to me to leave - there were pictures to be had. This is what
we do.
A little while earlier, Ken had called Robin
Comley, The Star’s picture editor. He was angry, telling her
to make sure the paper ran a story about how the peace-keepers were
fucking up in the township. Ken had, some weeks before, gone to
photograph the peace-keepers training. He had seen them practising
crowd control with batons and shields - as far as he was concerned,
that preparation was not what they needed for the war in Thokoza.
Then, he went on to tell Robin about a mouse that he had been
forced to kill at home that morning. About how Monica had made him
kill it and how upset he was over that. Robin listened for a while,
quite unsettled by this strange conversation. She had never heard
Ken ramble on like this before. ‘Ken, can we discuss this another
time? Anyway, haven’t you got pictures to shoot?’
The first breezes of autumn had begun, blowing an
empty tin across the forecourt; its eerie rumbling clatter stood
out from the white noise of the armoured vehicles’ idling diesel
engines. The hiatus was broken by a burst of gunfire from the
hostel. A soldier on top of one of the armoured vehicles began to
fire towards the hostel gunman.
And then I got hit. An utter confusion of
sensations overwhelmed me. The video footage of cameraman Sam Msibi
captured me as I was hit and careened into him and Joao. The
videotape has the blur of my shadow merging with theirs and there
is the violent gasp of air leaving my lungs on the soundtrack
before the camera hit the ground and switched off. I had always
known that I might be wounded somewhere some time. On many
occasions, death had come too close to allow me to dismiss the
danger, but I had never truly felt that I would be
wounded. I had accepted the intellectual possibility, even
probability that one day I would be hurt; but on an emotional
level, I was untouchable, immortal. The illusion of safety that was
merely the absence of being hit had unexpectedly been blasted away
to reveal an unimaginable vulnerability. The pathetic belief that I
was in control of myself, my own destiny and my immediate
environment was shattered.
As Joao and Jim dragged me along the ground towards
cover, we had no idea that Ken had been shot. We were caught up in
our own crisis. Smoke rose from the barrels of the rifles next to
us as the bullets continued to crack and whine. I couldn’t figure
out whom they were shooting at. Joao was yelling at them to stop
firing. He looked down at me and shot off a series of frames: it
was important to him to record the moment. I had been hit in the
chest. I had seen enough chest wounds to know that it was serious
and could be fatal. At first I wanted to know if the bullet had
gone right through my torso, so that I could know how much time I
had to live. But neither Jim nor Joao wanted to look, and then that
panic passed and I felt strangely relieved that I had finally been
shot. I had always experienced guilt about being a passing voyeur
during other people’s moments of tragedy. A strong sense of peace
came over me, a feeling that I had now paid my dues.
Then Gary cried out, ‘Ken O is hit!’ Jim left me
and ran in a low crouch to where Gary was trying to get a response
out of Ken, whose eyes were glassily open. A trickle of blood was
running out the side of his mouth. As Jim bent over Ken, one of the
soldiers right next to them fired again, the blast of cordite and
the passage of the bullet raising the hair on Gary’s head and then
Jim’s - they both dropped flat, screaming at the soldier to stop
firing. One bullet had come within millimetres of killing them
both. Jim scuttled back. The light-meter he habitually kept in his
shirt pocket fell out, stopping at the end of the cord that
tethered it. Jim picked it up, and reflexively took a light-reading
before slipping it back in his pocket. Perhaps he was checking to
see whether it had been damaged in the fall. ‘Ken’s gone, but
you’ll be OK,’ he said into my ear.
Joao ran over to see Ken, who was being picked up
by Gary and a
peace-keeper. There was nothing he could do but take pictures: Ken
would want to see those pictures of himself tomorrow. It passed
through his mind that Ken, always exceptionally mindful of how he
looked in photographs, would prefer a picture where his hair was
not hiding his face. He recalled how Ken had insisted on
photographing Joao’s injuries after he had been smashed in the face
with a brick during riots in Johannesburg the year before, when
Joao was still with The Star. Ken, the consummate
professional, had instilled in Joao the ethic of getting the
picture first, then dealing with the rest later. The minutes on
that garage forecourt seemed to drag on for ever as we tried to get
an armoured vehicle close enough to the wall to get Ken and me into
it without having to risk more gunfire. The peace-keepers near Ken
were still firing haphazardly, and their commander shouted
repeatedly at them to cease fire. Their shooting threatened no one
but their own comrades and us.
Jim was propping me up, waiting for Ken to be
loaded into the back of the armoured vehicle first. Gary and the
officer I had spoken to earlier were carrying Ken and they clumsily
bundled him into the back. Jim and Joao struggled to carry me and,
with the help of others, pushed me in. Ken was crumpled in a heap
on the narrow metal floor at my feet, and I perched uncomfortably
above him. The video footage was more reliable than my own memory,
its unwavering eye showing what I could not see: Joao raised his
arms to the sky and cursed in frustration, ‘Fuck!’ Then the vehicle
began to move and he leapt on to the step pulling himself inside.
The white captain we had previously argued so fiercely with drove
the vehicle himself, yelling back over his shoulder: ‘We have three
minutes! Hang on ... three minutes!’ In spite of all that had
happened between us and the peace-keepers, including them shooting
us, those words gave us a measure of hope. The captain, surely
experienced in this, was certain that we had three minutes - there
had to be a chance.
A young British photographer felt Ken’s pulse.
There was a moment of hesitation and then he looked up at us and
said there was a pulse. Joao instructed him to give Ken
mouth-to-mouth, which he immediately
began doing, straddling Ken in the cramped floor space where Ken
lay between the sets. We still thought there was hope, but he
actually knew that there was no life left. He just could not face
being the one to say that it was too late for Ken. Once at
Natalspruit Hospital, just off the top end of Khumalo Street, Joao
was the first out and he ran into the hospital entrance heading
towards where he thought he would find help. It was all familiar
from three months earlier when he had rushed in there in search of
Abdul, only to be directed to a laundry cupboard and the lifeless
corpse. Joao was not sure whom it was he hoped to find - a nurse or
a doctor perhaps - but instead he came upon a row of gurneys, and
he pushed one back towards the armoured vehicle. Gary and the rest
were pulling Ken from the back of the vehicle. They lowered him on
to the gurney and rushed him into the entrance foyer, where nurses
pointed out the way to the emergency room.
Inside the rudimentary emergency area, the doctor
immediately began trying to resuscitate Ken. I followed unsteadily
and nurses and colleagues helped me on to an operating table. The
doctor examined me briefly. ‘I’m OK. Look at Ken,’ I said and he
turned away. Joao would not leave the room. He wanted to be there,
to make sure that no one mistakenly pronounced Ken dead if he were
still alive. Or maybe he needed proof that Ken was not coming back.
The doctor pronounced him dead after Joao had helped him lift Ken’s
torso and peel off his blue journalists’ union T-shirt to look for
a wound. Joao ran his hands through Ken’s hair, but in their haste,
he and the doctor had missed the tiny entry wound under his arm.
‘Could be a broken neck,’ the doctor erroneously surmised and then
Ken’s corpse was covered by a sheet and wheeled into a corner. A
bullet had penetrated Ken’s chest cavity at his armpit. The high
energy of that point-blank shot meant that the bullet had
disintegrated on meeting the soft tissue of the organs in his
chest: that was why there was no exit wound.
I was alive, despite some minutes during which I
had been doubtful, but when Ken was declared dead, some of the
resilience I had regained evaporated. I looked up and saw Mark
Chisholm and Rob Celliers, two of the most hardened television
cameramen I knew, just staring at me,
their faces in total despair; their cameras weren’t rolling, just
hanging at their sides. The doctor turned his attention to me. With
a distinct lack of gentleness, he slashed through the flesh under
my arm and shoved a foot-long plastic drain deep into my chest to
draw the blood and fluid from my collapsed lung. I gasped, ‘Jesus,
that’s like being shot again!’ He agreed, and then said, ‘I put it
in wrong, we have to do it again. Sorry.’
He had started to examine the gaping, dinner-plate
sized wound in my chest when a woman was wheeled in, a victim of a
car accident and in a bad way. The doctor left me to try to
resuscitate the woman, her head a bloody mass and strange, watery
breathing sounds coming from her. She died within minutes and was
wheeled away. He came back to me, finished cleaning out the wound
and sewed up the flaps of flesh and skin with large, untidy
stitches. Then he began to examine the wounds to my butt - shrapnel
had made large holes in my left cheek. Joao watched in fascination
as the doctor’s finger disappeared into the holes peppering my bum
- not the most dignified of wounds. I had not known about the
wounds, nor even noticed that another piece of fragmented bullet
had shattered the bones of my right thumb. Joao stepped outside to
get away from the image of Ken dead and covered. Ken was now just a
corpse in the corner of an otherwise distracted room - all that
vitality and personality was gone.
Brauchli began a series of phone calls. His first
was to the AP news desk to report that two journalists had been
shot in Thokoza and to get them to send an ambulance to get me out
of the township hospital. Next Brauchli called Ken’s wife, Monica.
He was nervous about telling her: ‘No fucking way I was going to
tell Monica. She was way too fucking unstable.’ But he knew he had
to: ‘Monica,’ he said. ‘Look, Ken has been shot in Thokoza, can you
get hold of The Star and get down to the hospital right
away?’ ‘What?’ she screamed. ‘Hang on, just get hold of The
Star and get here.’ ‘Is he OK?’ she asked. Brauchli
prevaricated. ‘I don’t know, Jim just told me that he was shot and
that’s all I know.’ He did not have the heart or the courage to
tell her. ‘Please, Monica, call The Star.’
Before the shooting, I had called Heidi at home and
told her that I
could not leave Thokoza just yet, but that I would come fetch her
as soon as things quietened down a little. The next call she
received was from Donna Bryson at the AP, who told her that she had
something to tell her but not over the phone. ‘Why not? Come on,
Donna, what’s up?’ ‘Greg got shot in Thokoza.’ Heidi felt numb. ‘Is
he dead?’ ‘No, but nobody actually knows what’s going on out
there.’ Donna promised to pick her up to take her to Thokoza.
Heidi and Donna went to Thokoza with the new bureau
chief, John Daniszewski. John drove, Donna sat next to him, looking
at the map to find their way to Thokoza. John was a notoriously
slow driver, and that day was no exception. They had been in the
car for a full hour, when someone up front switched the radio on.
The news reader was saying, ‘. . . Ken Oosterbroek died on the
spot. Greg Marinovich was seriously injured and now is being
treated in Natalspruit Hospital.’ Heidi lost her temper. ‘Why
didn’t one of you tell me that Ken is dead?’ she shouted. ‘And
can’t you drive faster?’ She immediately apologized; it wasn’t
anybody’s fault, but Heidi was scared and tense. They reached
Thokoza, but then they got lost trying to find the hospital. When
they eventually got there, Heidi rushed towards the entrance, but
Jim stopped her, saying, ‘I called Newsweek. You don’t have
to worry, they are paying for everything.’ Heidi thought he was
very sweet, but the last thing on her mind was bills. Outside
casualty, Chisholm with his Betacam on his shoulder, told her,
‘Greg is OK, but don’t go in there, he’s about to be operated
on.’
She waited anxiously outside, but then saw
journalists leaving the room and thought that if they could be
there, so could she. When I saw her, I burst into tears; she took
my face in her hands as I blurted out that I was sorry for getting
shot. Heidi had always cautioned me when I went into dangerous
situations. She had feared my getting hurt and I had always assured
her that nothing would ever happen.
Monica arrived a few seconds later and went
straight to Joao who was standing outside the entrance. She knew
that he would tell her the truth. ‘Is it true? Is Ken dead?’ Joao
felt that she wanted reassurance that it was all a mistake, that
Ken was OK, but he looked into her eyes and
said, ‘Yes, it’s true.’ Monica ran into the hospital and found Ken
lifeless in the corner of the emergency room, his shoes, socks and
shirt neatly packed below the sheet-draped figure. She began
weeping, a deep, anguished sobbing, hugging Ken’s body. She was
wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt. Heidi went over to comfort her.
Monica said, ‘His hair is so strange, this morning it was much
smoother.’ Then she began to talk to her dead husband. ‘You can
wake up now, Ken, it’s over. Wake up!’
Heidi, always the straight arrow, said to Monica in
her Euro-English accent, ‘Ken doesn’t wake up any more.’ Monica
turned to her and said: ‘You’re lucky, your man is alive; mine is
dead.’ Then Monica just sat quietly next to her husband’s body,
holding his hand, and weeping.
Kevin had raced back to Thokoza after hearing about
the shooting on the radio. Outside the entrance to casualty, Gary
flung his arms around Kevin’s neck and blurted out that Ken was
dead. Kevin just stared straight ahead. His best friend was
dead.
Newsweek and the AP (with remarkable loyalty
to a freelancer who was no longer working for them) had begun to
try to get me evacuated to a better hospital. Newsweek had
no plan in case someone got hurt; AP had a list of phone numbers,
but no step-by-step procedure despite Abdul having been killed
while working for them in neighbouring Kathlehong just three months
before. The Star had no set plan either. Nor did I, other
than a vague faith in my colleagues and the comrades getting me to
a hospital as quick as possible. A planned emergency procedure
would not have helped us that day - the helicopter rescue services
that were called that afternoon all refused to go to Natalspruit
Hospital, never mind Khumalo Street - too dangerous, they said.
There was no way an ambulance was going to enter an ongoing battle
to get someone out. But in any case, no rescue service could assist
someone hurt in a township battle faster than the people that were
around. We had all, on many occasions over the years, had to
abandon photographing the news and rush wounded fighters or
civilians to hospital - often we were the only ones with a car
available. There is an elaborate, unspoken code about helping
people in trouble, in any war zone, in any
country. The limits and responsibilities are unclear, just how
much risk to take to assist colleagues, combatants, civilians. The
rules are fluid, yet seemingly understood - if you can, you help.
If it is a friend you do whatever your heart tells you to, but for
strangers, it was uncommon for us to risk our lives.
When they finished with me and the ambulance had
arrived, I asked them to wheel me to Ken. I touched his foot, the
only part of him I could reach. I said goodbye, starting to weep,
as the meaning of Jim saying ‘Ken is gone’ finally sank in.
Brauchli loomed over me with a camera and said ‘Greggy!’ to get me
to look towards him. ‘Nema dozvola, nema slike,’ I said weakly in
mock-pidgin Serbo-Croat, mimicking how often we had been told ‘No
permission, no pictures’ in the former Yugoslavia’s civil
war.
I was loaded into the back of an ambulance with
Heidi. Once inside the panel-van I was surprised that it was not an
intensive care ambulance. There were no medical facilities
whatsoever, not even straps to keep me in place on the stretcher.
The medic - if he had any medical training at all - was only
concerned about not losing the pistol he carried, in case ‘the
blacks’ attacked him. The ambulance service that had been
commissioned to fetch me had been beaten to it by a pirate company
that specialized in listening to the hospitals’ radio messages and
stealing the business. Unfortunately these privateers had none of
the equipment needed to sustain life, and as the shock began to set
in, I started to lose it. My pulse dropped and my breathing became
more and more shallow - having survived Thokoza and Natalspruit
Hospital’s crude but effective casualty department, I was going to
slip quietly away in the back of a panel-van, stuck in rush-hour
traffic. Heidi knew I needed oxygen as I had a collapsed lung that
had filled with blood, but there was none, and she kept asking me
questions and demanding answers to ensure I did not lose
consciousness. Watching my condition deteriorate, she yelled at the
driver to switch his siren and emergency lights on and get to the
hospital, quick. He complied, but by the time we got to the
resuscitation unit in Johannesburg, I was slipping in and out of
consciousness.