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THE DRAGON KING

Standing in the mouth of the cave, I call out to the Red Rose.

“Red Rose, Red Rose, oh you immortal Red Rose,

I sing to you from the bottom of the claws on my toes!”

Then I sing a short poem which places a protective cloak of dense fog all around the cave. The fog is sentient and has fangs swirling around in it. It’s ghastly. The fog will protect us from any intruders.

Then I sing a short poem which fetches the pack of wolves to the mouth of the cave. They come howling and galloping up through the fog to where I stand. The wolves lie flat on their bellies in the snow and whimper and whine and look up at me.

Then the wolves tell me that this is the most beautiful poem they have ever heard.

I tell them forget about it. I’ve got a million of them. I tell them I’m the greatest poet this planet has ever seen. And things around here on this tiny pebble they call Earth are about to change big-time.

“My name is Gork The Terrible, and I’m a dragon,” I say, snorting firebolts out my nostrils.

The wolves howl and say, “Where have you been all this time?”

“You wouldn’t believe my scaly green ass if I told you,” I say.

“Well thank goodness you’re here because things on this planet have been going from bad to worse,” say the wolves. “The bloodthirsty man-creature has been terrorizing all the animals. The man-creature won’t rest until he’s killed every animal in the forest and every fish in the sea,” they say.

I tell them I got this and not to worry.

They say, “What do you mean exactly when you say not to worry?”

“I got a faboo machine back there in the cave that can swap out any two animals’ minds.” I tell them we’re gonna put a lion inside a caterpillar’s body and watch the folks freak out when a caterpillar eats a family of man-creatures in the park. I tell them we’re gonna put a shark inside a hummingbird so that the hummingbird will shoot through the air, biting man-creatures’ heads off, one right after the other.

Then I tell the wolves that they are welcome to join forces with me and that together we will be the Doomsday Squad. And that we will conquer the man-creatures.

The wolves howl, “The things you’re saying are crazy, and how can we possibly follow a big deranged lizard into battle against the man-creature? Especially now that we’re getting a closer look at you. We can plainly see you only have one freaking wing. Plus your horns are weirdly small,” they say.

I snort firebolts out my nostrils and tell them they better watch their fool wolf mouths if they know what’s good for them. And then I hold out my talon and say, “Snakespear.” A big black snake falls out of the sky and lands in my talons and the snake is rigid like a stick with its fangs bared. I hold the snakespear in a threatening manner and glare down at the wolves.

“Now let’s not forget who the boss is here,” I say.

They stare at me in awe.

I tell them if they know what’s good for them, then they’ll be like this snake that I’m holding here, in terms of being a team player. “The word of the day is sacrifice.”

The wolves crouch lower on their bellies and whine and say, “We’re sorry and it won’t happen again, sir!”

“I am the new Dragon King of this planet and I desperately need some sleep,” I say. “But when I wake up we will wage a war against the savage man-creatures and I will conquer them. The name of this war will be the Great War. If you don’t believe me, then just ask the trees,” I say.

“No need for that because the trees have been singing about you for years,” they say. “But we just reckoned those trees were liars.”

I tell the wolves they are officially now the first soldiers in the Doomsday Squad. “One day you will appear in my epic poem and so you will become legend.” I tell them that while I am asleep they should speak to the other animals in the forest and tell them to join our army. I say by the time I awake I expect them to have assembled a sizeable force who will join us in our war against the man-creatures.

The wolves snarl and growl and tilt their furry heads back and howl at the moon.

“Now who are we?” I say.

“The Doomsday Squad!” they howl.

Then I look at this one big sulking yellow-eyed bastard wolf and snap my claws. “You there,” I say.

“Yeah, what do you want?” he says.

“You’re the bastard that used to watch me sleep in my old lair when I was just a little baby dragon, aren’t you?” I say.

He says: “Yeah, so what of it.”

“Well now you’re gonna watch me sleep some more,” I say. “Only this time you’re going to guard me and protect me while I sleep. Because you’re my new personal guard. So come with me back to the cave.”

“Well what’s my name?” he says. “If you’re gonna make me your personal guard you’re going to need to give me a name.”

I tell him, “I’ll give you a name once you’ve good and well earned it. In the meantime you answer to Wolf. Is that simple enough for you?”

I go to the back of the cave with Wolf trotting at my heels.

Then I take the syringe with nanobot solution and plunge the needle deep into my damaged wingjoint. I don’t know if I’m hallucinating or what but I swear I can instantly feel all those little nanobots flood my bloodstream and go to work growing me a new wing. I fall back on the cave floor next to Fribby and wrap my scaly green forelimb around her silver belly. I hook my claws inside her metal claws and then drift off into a very deep sleep.

The last thing I see are Wolf’s two yellow eyes staring at me.