CHAPTER 23

EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF SOMETHING:
Autophobia is the fear of being alone.

After passing a few hours in bed, sunrise finally arrived and with it the day’s daunting mission. Lulu and Madeleine groggily entered the bathroom, prepared to make their way to the boys’ room, then downstairs. Lulu, a ball of tension at the prospect of entering a hole in the ground, coughed loudly as Madeleine doused herself with repellent.

“Will you knock it off?” Lulu quipped.

“Excuse me, Lulu, but we are about to traipse through the homes of spiders, crickets, centipedes, millipedes, cockroaches, and much more. I am more than justified in performing a thorough spray-down.”

Lulu touched Madeleine’s shirt, then immediately wiped her hand on her jeans.

“You’re soaking wet.” Lulu stopped to sniff Madeleine. “And you stink. What is that?”

“Basil and eucalyptus oils; they’re natural bug repellents. You certainly don’t expect me to brave the outdoors without extra protection. I mean honestly, Lulu, it is hardly appropriate for you to fault me for defending myself,” Madeleine said sternly, or as sternly as Madeleine knew how.

“It seems like overkill, but whatever.”

“Lulu, you are the most insensitive girl in the universe! Do you have any idea what I am going through?” Madeleine shot back.

“You? What about me? I have to crawl through an underground tunnel.”

“So do I!”

“Yeah, but you’re not afraid of them!”

“Yes, I see your point,” Madeleine said rationally.

At that exact moment, Garrison threw open the bathroom door, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep.

“Do you have Mac?”

“What? No, he’s with Theo,” Lulu said.

“No!” Garrison screamed as the reality dawned on him.

The foursome bolted down the stairs to the dining room, where they found Schmidty standing next to the Dire Disaster Door.

“He’s gone!” Garrison announced.

“What?” Schmidty asked with terror creeping into his voice.

“Munchauser stole Mac!”

“No wonder the chute was already open. I thought you kids did it last night in preparation,” Schmidty said as he fell to his knees.

“I’m sorry, Schmidty,” Theo warbled. “I don’t know how I didn’t wake up! This is all my fault!”

“No, no, it’s not. I just can’t believe I’ve lost Madame, Mac, and now my home.”

“No! We’re not letting that happen,” Garrison said defiantly. “Maddie, hand me the satchel. We’re going to get Mac back.”

“The satchel’s gone,” Madeleine said sadly. “Munchauser must have taken it.”

“Forget the bag,” Garrison ranted as he lit the candelabra and walked toward the tunnel. “Are you ready?”

Madeleine nodded, then quickly sprayed herself once over in repellent. Theo ran to the kitchen, only to return seconds later with fistfuls of chocolate.

“Theo, are you sure it’s a good idea to eat so much chocolate?” Madeleine asked kindly, worried he might become ill on the journey down.

“I want to eat as much as humanly possible … in case I … d-don’t ever … get to … eat chocolate … again,” Theo stuttered between bites.

Garrison lowered himself first into the tunnel, precariously holding the candelabra as he descended the rope ladder. Next up was Madeleine, who silently prayed for a spider and insect-free journey before following Garrison into the tunnel. Theo shoved the last of the chocolate into his mouth and hugged Schmidty with his chocolate-stained hands.

“Tell my family I loved them and make sure my mom doesn’t feel guilty about the cell phone thing if I die. I’m sure there’s no service up here anyway,” Theo said with tears in his eyes.

“Mr. Theo, I can’t thank you enough. Be brave; I know you will see your family soon.”

Lulu, who had been unusually quiet, stood frozen next to Schmidty. While her body remained eerily still, her left eye twitched rapidly.

“Come on, Lulu,” Theo called from the tunnel.

“I can’t … I can’t … you’ll have to go without me… . I can’t go … in there… .”

“Ms. Lulu, you must go. They need you. I don’t think they’ll be able to do it without you.”

Lulu’s breaths were short and stilted as she held her left eye, now pounding painfully.

“I can’t breathe and I’m not even in there yet. I’m sorry, but I can’t do it. I’m staying here with you, Schmidty.”

“Lulu Punchalower,” Theo hollered, “I need you! Who will be mean to me? Who will keep me in check if you’re not here? I’m liable to have a bout of hysterical blindness if you’re not with me to tell me to shut it!”

“Chubs, I’m sorry,” Lulu said with deep disdain for herself.

“But Lulu, we’re like the Three Musketeers, plus one. It won’t be right unless you come.”

“I … I … can’t… .”

“Ms. Lulu, I understand. It’s all right. Who knows, maybe it’s better if you stay with me.”

“Thank you, Schmidty.”

“I know Madame would have understood if she were here. She probably would have eased you into the idea one rung at a time,” Schmidty said thoughtfully before turning directly to Lulu. “Perhaps, in her memory, you could just go down to the first rung, then come out. I know it would have made her so proud.”

“I don’t know, Schmidty.”

“Um, hello? We’re waiting in here!” Theo yelled out.

“Please, Mr. Theo. Give us a second,” Schmidty said into the tunnel before turning to Lulu. “It would mean so much to me.”

Lulu couldn’t say no to Schmidty’s desperate and depressed face, so she took a deep breath and climbed into the hole.

“You came?” Theo said jubilantly upon sight of Lulu.

“Don’t get your hopes up; I’m not staying.”

“Actually, I’m afraid you are,” Schmidty said as he deftly sliced the rope ladder in one fluid move.

“No, Schmidty!” Lulu screamed as her freckled face burned bright with fright.

“I’m sorry, but they need you!” Schmidty called out as the foursome disappeared into the black abyss.