CHAPTER ONE
The Débutante
The time is February. The place is a large,
dainty bedroom in the Connage house on Sixty-eighth Street, New
York. A girl’s room: pink walls and curtains and a pink bedspread
on a cream-colored bed. Pink and cream are the motifs of the room,
but the only article of furniture in full view is a luxurious
dressing-table with a glass top and a three-sided mirror. On the
walls there is an expensive print of “Cherry Ripe,” a few polite
dogs by Landseer, and the “King of the Black Isles, ”by Maxfield
Parrish. af
Great disorder consisting of the following
items: (1) seven or eight empty cardboard boxes, with tissue-paper
tongues hanging panting from their mouths; (2) an assortment of
street dresses mingled with their sisters of the evening, all upon
the table, all evidently new; (3) a roll of tulle, which has lost
its dignity and wound itself tortuously around everything in sight,
and (4) upon the two small chairs, a collection of lingerie that
beggars description. One would enjoy seeing the bill called forth
by the finery displayed and one is possessed by a desire to see the
princess for whose benefit—Look! There’s some one!
Disappointment! This is only a maid hunting for
something—she lifts a heap from a chair—Not there;
another heap, the dressing-table, the chiffonier drawers. She
brings to light several beautiful chemises and an amazing pajama
but this does not satisfy her—she goes out.
An indistinguishable mumble from the next room.
Now, we are getting warm. This is Alec’s mother, Mrs. Connage,
ample, dignified, rouged to the dowager point and quite worn out.
Her lips move significantly as she looks for IT. Her search is less
thorough than the maid’s but there is a touch of fury in it,
that quite makes up for its sketchiness. She stumbles on the tulle
and her “damn” is quite audible. She retires,
empty-handed.
More chatter outside and a girl’s voice, a very
spoiled voice, says: “Of all the stupid people—”
After a pause a third seeker enters, not she of
the spoiled voice, but a younger edition. This is Cecelia Connage,
sixteen, pretty, shrewd, and constitutionally good-humored.
She is dressed for the evening in a gown the obvious simplicity of
which probably bores her. She goes to the nearest pile, selects a
small pink garment and holds it up appraisingly.
CECELIA: Pink?
ROSALIND: (Outside) Yes!
CECELIA: Very snappy?
ROSALIND: Yes!
CECELIA: I’ve got it!
(She sees herself in the mirror of the
dressing-table and commences to shimmy enthusiastically.)
ROSALIND: (Outside) What are you
doing—trying it on?
(CECELIA ceases and goes out carrying the
garment at the right shoulder. From the other door, enters ALEC
CONNAGE. He looks around quickly and in a huge voice shouts:
Mama! There is a chorus of protest from next door and encouraged
he starts toward it, but is repelled by another chorus.)
ALEC: So that’s where you all are! Amory
Blaine is here.
CECELIA: (Quickly) Take him
down-stairs.
ALEC: Oh, he is down-stairs.
MRS. CONNAGE: Well, you can show him where his
room is. Tell him I’m sorry that I can’t meet him now.
ALEC: He’s heard a lot about you all. I wish you’d
hurry. Father’s telling him all about the war and he’s restless.
He’s sort of temperamental.
(This last suffices to draw CECELIA into
the room.)
CECELIA: (Seating herself high upon
lingerie) How do you mean—temperamental? You used to say that
about him in letters.
ALEC: Oh, he writes stuff.
CECELIA: Does he play the piano?
ALEC: Don’t think so.
CECELIA: (Speculatively) Drink?
ALEC: Yes—nothing queer about him.
CECELIA: Money?
ALEC: Good Lord—ask him, he used to have a lot,
and he’s got some income now.
(MRS. CONNAGE appears.)
MRS. CONNAGE: Alec, of course we’re glad to have
any friend of yours—
ALEC: You certainly ought to meet Amory.
MRS. CONNAGE: Of course, I want to. But I think
it’s so childish of you to leave a perfectly good home to go and
live with two other boys in some impossible apartment. I hope it
isn’t in order that you can all drink as much as you want. (She
pauses.) He’ll be a little neglected to-night. This is
Rosalind’s week, you see. When a girl comes out, she needs
all the attention.
ROSALIND: (Outside) Well, then, prove it by
coming here and hooking me.
(MRS. CONNAGE goes.)
ALEC: Rosalind hasn’t changed a bit.
CECELIA: (In a lower tone) She’s awfully
spoiled.
ALEC: She’ll meet her match to-night.
CECELIA: Who—Mr. Amory Blaine?
(ALEC nods.)
CECELIA: Well, Rosalind has still to meet the man
she can’t outdistance. Honestly, Alec, she treats men terribly. She
abuses them and cuts them and breaks dates with them and yawns in
their faces—and they come back for more.
ALEC: They love it.
CECELIA: They hate it. She’s a—she’s a sort of
vampire,7 I
think—and she can make girls do what she wants usually—only she
hates girls.
ALEC: Personality runs in our family.
CECELIA: (Resignedly) I guess it ran out
before it got to me.
ALEC: Does Rosalind behave herself?
CECELIA: Not particularly well. Oh, she’s
average—smokes sometimes, drinks punch, frequently kissed—Oh,
yes—common knowledge—one of the effects of the war, you know.
(Emerges MRS. CONNAGE.)
MRS. CONNAGE: Rosalind’s almost finished so I can
go down and meet your friend.
(ALEC and his mother go out.)
ROSALIND: (Outside) Oh, mother—
CECELIA: Mother’s gone down.
(And now ROSALIND enters.) ROSALIND is—utterly
ROSALIND. She is one of those girls who need never make the
slightest effort to have men fall in love with them. Two types of
men seldom do: dull men are usually afraid of her cleverness and
intellectual men are usually afraid of her beauty. All others are
hers by natural prerogative.
If ROSALIND could be spoiled the process would
have been complete by this time, and as a matter of fact, her
disposition is not all it should be; she wants what she wants when
she wants it and she is prone to make every one around herpretty
miserable when she doesn’t get it—but in the true sense she
is not spoiled. Her fresh enthusiasm, her will to grow and learn,
her endless faith in the inexhaustibility of romance, her courage
and fundamental honesty—these things are not
spoiled.
There are long periods when she cordially
loathes her whole family. She is quite unprincipled; her philosophy
is carpe diem for herself and laissez faire for others. She loves
shocking stories: she has that coarse streak that usually goes with
natures that are both fine and big. She wants people to like her,
but if they do not it never worries her or changes her. She is by
no means a model character.
The education of all beautiful women is the
knowledge of men. ROSALIND had been disappointed in man after man
as individuals, but she had great faith in man as a sex. Women she
detested. They represented qualities that she felt and despised in
herself—incipient meanness, conceit, cowardice, and petty
dishonesty. She once told a roomful of her mother’s friends that
the only excuse for women was the necessity for a disturbing
element among men. She danced exceptionally well, drew cleverly but
hastily, and had a startling facility with words, which she used
only in love-letters.
But all criticism of ROSALIND ends in her
beauty. There was that shade of glorious yellow hair, the desire to
imitate which supports the dye industry. There was the eternal
kissable mouth, small, slightly sensual, and utterly disturbing.
There were gray eyes and an unimpeachable skin with two spots of
vanishing color. She was slender and athletic, without
underdevelopment, and it was a delight to watch her move about a
room, walk along a street, swing a golf club, or turn a
“cart-wheel. ”
A last qualification—her vivid, instant
personality escaped that conscious, theatrical quality that
AMORY had found in ISABELLE. MONSIGNOR DARCY would have
been quite up a tree whether to call her a personality or a
personage. She was perhaps the delicious, inexpressible,
once-in-a-century blend.
On the night of her début she is, for all her
strange, stray wisdom, quite like a happy little girl. Her mother’s
maid has just done her hair, but she has decided impatiently that
she can do a better job herself She is too nervous just now to stay
in one place. To that we owe her presence in this littered room.
She is going to speak. ISABELLE’S alto tones had been like a
violin, but if you could hear ROSALIND, you would say her voice was
musical as a waterfall.
ROSALIND: Honestly, there are only two costumes in
the world that I really enjoy being in—(Combing her hair at the
dressing-table.) One’s a hoop skirt with pantaloons; the
other’s a one-piece bathing-suit. I’m quite charming in both of
them.
CECELIA: Glad you’re coming out?
ROSALIND: Yes; aren’t you?
CECELIA: (Cynically) You’re glad so you can
get married and live on Long Island with the fast younger
married set. You want life to be a chain of flirtation with a
man for every link.
ROSALIND: Want it to be one! You mean I’ve
found it one.
CECELIA: Ha!
ROSALIND: Cecelia, darling, you don’t know what a
trial it is to be—like me. I’ve got to keep my face like steel in
the street to keep men from winking at me. If I laugh hard from a
front row in the theatre, the comedian plays to me for the rest of
the evening. If I drop my voice, my eyes, my handkerchief at a
dance, my partner calls me up on the ’phone every day for a
week.
CECELIA: It must be an awful strain.
ROSALIND: The unfortunate part is that the only
men who interest me at all are the totally ineligible ones. Now—if
I were poor I’d go on the stage.
CECELIA: Yes, you might as well get paid for the
amount of acting you do.
ROSALIND: Sometimes when I’ve felt particularly
radiant I’ve thought, why should this be wasted on one man?
CECELIA: Often when you’re particularly sulky,
I’ve wondered why it should all be wasted on just one family.
(Getting up.) I think I’ll go down and meet Mr. Amory
Blaine. I like temperamental men.
ROSALIND: There aren’t any. Men don’t know how to
be really angry or really happy—and the ones that do, go to
pieces.
CECELIA: Well, I’m glad I don’t have all your
worries. I’m engaged.
ROSALIND: (With a scornful smile) Engaged?
Why, you little lunatic! If mother heard you talking like that
she’d send you off to boarding-school, where you belong.
CECELIA: You won’t tell her, though, because I
know things I could tell—and you’re too selfish!
ROSALIND: (A little annoyed) Run along,
little girl! Who are you engaged to, the iceman? the man that keeps
the candy-store?
CECELIA: Cheap wit—good-by, darling, I’ll see you
later.
ROSALIND: Oh, be sure and do that—you’re
such a help.
(Exit CECELIA, ROSALIND finished her
hair and rises, humming. She goes up to the mirror and starts to
dance in front of it on the soft carpet. She watches not her feet,
but her eyes—never casually but always intently, even when
she smiles. The door suddenly opens and then slams behind AMORY,
very cool and handsome as usual. He melts into instant
confusion.)
HE: Oh, I’m sorry. I thought—
SHE : (Smiling radiantly) Oh, you’re Amory
Blaine, aren’t you?
HE: (Regarding her closely) And you’re
Rosalind?
SHE: I’m going to call you Amory—oh, come in—it’s
all right—mother’ll be right in-(under her breath)
unfortunately.
HE: (Gazing around) This is sort of a new
wrinkle for me.
SHE: This is No Man’s Land.
HE: This is where you—you—(pause)
SHE: Yes—all those things. (She crosses to the
bureau.) See, here’s my rouge—eye pencils.
HE: I didn’t know you were that way.
SHE: What did you expect?
HE: I thought you’d be sort of—sort of—sexless,
you know, swim and play golf.
SHE: Oh, I do—but not in business hours.
HE: Business?
SHE: Six to two—strictly.
HE: I’d like to have some stock in the
corporation.
SHE: Oh, it’s not a corporation—it’s just
“Rosalind, Unlimited.” Fifty-one shares, name, good-will, and
everything goes at $25,000 a year.
HE: (Disapprovingly) Sort of a chilly
proposition.
SHE: Well, Amory, you don’t mind—do you? When I
meet a man that doesn’t bore me to death after two weeks, perhaps
it’ll be different.
HE: Odd, you have the same point of view on men
that I have on women.
SHE: I’m not really feminine, you know—in my
mind.
HE: (Interested) Go on.
SHE: No, you—you go on—you’ve made me talk about
myself. That’s against the rules.
HE: Rules?
SHE: My own rules—but you—Oh, Amory, I hear you’re
brilliant. The family expects so much of you.
HE: How encouraging!
SHE: Alec said you’d taught him to think. Did you?
I didn’t believe any one could.
HE: No. I’m really quite dull.
(He evidently doesn’t intend this to be taken
seriously.)
SHE: Liar.
HE: I‘m—I’m religious—I’m literary. I’ve—I’ve even
written poems.
SHE: Vers libre—splendid! (She
declaims.)
“The trees are green,
The birds are singing in the trees,
The girl sips her poison
The bird flies away the girl dies.”
The birds are singing in the trees,
The girl sips her poison
The bird flies away the girl dies.”
HE: (Laughing) No, not that kind.
SHE: (Suddenly) I like you.
HE: Don’t.
SHE: Modest too—
HE: I’m afraid of you. I’m always afraid of a
girl—until I’ve kissed her.
SHE: (Emphatically) My dear boy, the war is
over.
HE: So I’ll always be afraid of you.
SHE: (Rather sadly) I suppose you
will.
(A slight hesitation on both their
parts)
HE: (After due consideration) Listen. This
is a frightful thing to ask.
SHE: (Knowing what’s coming) After five
minutes.
HE: But will you—kiss me? Or are you afraid?
SHE: I’m never afraid—but your reasons are so
poor.
HE: Rosalind, I really want to kiss you.
SHE: So do I.
(They kiss—definitely and
thoroughly.)
HE: (After a breathless second) Well, is
your curiosity satisfied?
SHE: Is yours?
HE: No, it’s only aroused.
(He looks it.)
SHE: (Dreamily) I’ve kissed dozens of men.
I suppose I’ll kiss dozens more.
HE: (Abstractedly) Yes, I suppose you
could—like that.
SHE: Most people like the way I kiss.
HE: (Remembering himself) Good Lord, yes.
Kiss me once more, Rosalind.
SHE: No—my curiosity is generally satisfied at
one.
HE: (Discouraged) Is that a rule?
SHE: I make rules to fit the cases.
HE: You and I are somewhat alike—except that I’m
years older in experience.
SHE: How old are you?
HE: Almost twenty-three. You?
SHE: Nineteen—just.
HE: I suppose you’re the product of a fashionable
school.
SHE: No—I’m fairly raw material. I was expelled
from Spenceag—I’ve
forgotten why.
HE: What’s your general trend?
SHE: Oh, I’m bright, quite selfish, emotional when
aroused, fond of admiration—
HE: (Suddenly) I don’t want to fall in love
with you—
SHE: (Raising her eyebrows) Nobody asked
you to.
HE: (Continuing coldly) But I probably
will. I love your mouth.
SHE: Hush! Please don’t fall in love with my
mouth—hair, eyes, shoulders, slippers—but not my mouth. Everybody
falls in love with my mouth.
HE: It’s quite beautiful.
SHE: It’s too small.
HE: No it isn’t—lets see.
(He kisses her again with the same
thoroughness.)
SHE: (Rather moved) Say something
sweet.
HE: (Frightened) Lord help me.
SHE: (Drawing away) Well, don’t—if it’s so
hard.
HE: Shall we pretend? So soon?
SHE: We haven’t the same standards of time as
other people.
HE: Already it’s—other people.
SHE: Let’s pretend.
HE: No—I can’t—it’s sentiment.
SHE: You’re not sentimental?
HE: No, I’m romantic—a sentimental person thinks
things will last—a romantic person hopes against hope that they
won’t. Sentiment is emotional.
SHE: And you’re not? (With her eyes
half-closed) You probably flatter yourself that that’s a
superior attitude.
HE: Well—Rosalind, Rosalind, don’t argue—kiss me
again.
SHE: (Quite chilly now) No—I have no desire
to kiss you.
HE: (Openly taken aback) You wanted to kiss
me a minute ago.
SHE: This is now.
HE: I’d better go.
SHE: I suppose so.
(He goes toward the door.)
SHE: Oh!
(He turns.)
SHE: (Laughing) Score—Home Team: One
hundred—Opponents: Zero.
(He starts back.)
SHE: (Quickly) Rain—no game.
(He goes out.)
(She goes quietly to the chiffonier,
takes out a cigarette-case and hides it in the side drawer of a
desk. Her mother enters, note-book in hand.)
MRS. CONNAGE: Good—I’ve been wanting to speak to
you alone before we go down-stairs.
ROSALIND: Heavens! you frighten me!
MRS. CONNAGE: Rosalind, you’ve been a very
expensive proposition.
ROSALIND: (Resignedly) Yes.
MRS. CONNAGE: And you know your father hasn’t what
he once had.
ROSALIND: (Making a wry face) Oh, please
don’t talk about money.
MRS. CONNAGE: You can’t do anything without it.
This is our last year in this house—and unless things change
Cecelia won’t have the advantages you’ve had.
ROSALIND: (Impatiently) Well—what is
it?
MRS. CONNAGE: So I ask you to please mind me in
several things I’ve put down in my note-book. The first one is:
don’t disappear with young men. There may be a time when it’s
valuable, but at present I want you on the dance-floor where I can
find you. There are certain men I want to have you meet and I don’t
like finding you in some corner of the conservatory exchanging
silliness with any one—or listening to it.
ROSALIND: (Sarcastically) Yes, listening to
it is better.
MRS. CONNAGE: And don’t waste a lot of time with
the college set—little boys nineteen and twenty years old. I don’t
mind a prom or a football game, but staying away from advantageous
parties to eat in little cafés down-town with Tom, Dick, and
Harry—
ROSALIND: (Offering her code, which is, in its
way, quite as high as her mother’s) Mother, it’s done—you can’t
run everything now the way you did in the early nineties.
MRS. CONNAGE: (Paying no attention) There
are several bachelor friends of your father’s that I want you to
meet to-night—youngish men.
ROSALIND: (Nodding wisely) About
forty-five?
MRS. CONNAGE: (Sharply) Why not?
ROSALIND: Oh, quite all right—they know life and
are so adorably tired looking (shakes her head)—but they
will dance.
MRS. CONNAGE: I haven’t met Mr. Blaine—but I don’t
think you’ll care for him. He doesn’t sound like a
money-maker.
ROSALIND: Mother, I never think about
money.
MRS. CONNAGE: You never keep it long enough to
think about it.
ROSALIND: (Sighs) Yes, I suppose some day
I’ll marry a ton of it—out of sheer boredom.
MRS. CONNAGE: (Referring to note-book) I
had a wire from Hartford. Dawson Ryder is coming up. Now there’s a
young man I like, and he’s floating in money. It seems to me that
since you seem tired of Howard Gillespie you might give Mr. Ryder
some encouragement. This is the third time he’s been up in a
month.
ROSALIND: How did you know I was tired of Howard
Gillespie?
MRS. CONNAGE: The poor boy looks so miserable
every time he comes.
ROSALIND: That was one of those romantic,
pre-battle affairs. They’re all wrong.
MRS. CONNAGE: (Her say said) At any rate,
make us proud of you tonight.
ROSALIND: Don’t you think I’m beautiful?
MRS. CONNAGE: You know you are.
(From down-stairs is heard the moan of a violin
being tuned, the roll of a drum. MRS. CONNAGE turns quickly to
her daughter.)
MRS. CONNAGE: Come!
ROSALIND: One minute!
(Her mother leaves. ROSALIND goes to the glass
where she gazes at herself with great satisfaction. She kisses her
hand and touches her mirrored mouth with it. Then she turns out the
lights and leaves the room. Silence for a moment. A few chords from
the piano, the discreet patter of faint drums, the rustle of new
silk, all blend on the staircase outside and drift in through the
partly opened door. Bundled figures pass in the lighted hall. The
laughter heard below becomes doubled and multiplied. Then some one
comes in, closes the door, and switches on the lights. It is
CECELIA. She goes to the chiffonier, looks in the drawers,
hesitates—then to the desk whence she takes the
cigarette-case and extracts one. She lights it and then, puffing
and blowing, walks toward the mirror.)
CECELIA: (In tremendously sophisticated
accents) Oh, yes, coming out is such a farce nowadays,
you know. One really plays around so much before one is seventeen,
that it’s positively anticlimax. (Shaking hands with a visionary
middle-aged nobleman.) Yes, your grace—I b‘lieve I’ve heard my
sister speak of you. Have a puff—they’re very good. They’re—they’re
Coronas. You don’t smoke? What a pity! The king doesn’t allow it, I
suppose. Yes, I’ll dance.
(So she dances around the room to a tune from
down-stairs, her arms outstretched to an imaginary partner, the
cigarette waving in her hand.)
Several Hours Later
The corner of a den down-stairs, filled by a
very comfortable leather lounge. A small light is on each side
above, and in the middle, over the couch hangs a painting of a very
old, very dignified gentleman, period 1860. Outside the music is
heard in a fox-trot.
ROSALIND is seated on the lounge and on her
left is HOWARD GILLESPIE, a vapid youth of about
twenty-four. He is obviously very unhappy, and she is quite
bored.
GILLESPIE: (Feebly) What do you mean I’ve
changed. I feel the same toward you.
ROSALIND: But you don’t look the same to me.
GILLESPIE: Three weeks ago you used to say that
you liked me because I was so blase, so indifferent—I still
am.
ROSALIND: But not about me. I used to like you
because you had brown eyes and thin legs.
GILLESPIE: (Helplessly) They’re still thin
and brown. You’re a vampire, that’s all.
ROSALIND: The only thing I know about vamping is
what’s on the piano score. What confuses men is that I’m perfectly
natural. I used to think you were never jealous. Now you follow me
with your eyes wherever I go.
GILLESPIE: I love you.
ROSALIND: (Coldly) I know it.
GILLESPIE: And you haven’t kissed me for two
weeks. I had an idea that after a girl was kissed she
was—was—won.
ROSALIND: Those days are over. I have to be won
all over again every time you see me.
GILLESPIE: Are you serious?
ROSALIND: About as usual. There used to be two
kinds of kisses: First when girls were kissed and deserted; second,
when they were engaged. Now there’s a third kind, where the man is
kissed and deserted. If Mr. Jones of the nineties bragged he’d
kissed a girl, every one knew he was through with her. If Mr. Jones
of 1919 brags the same every one knows it’s because he can’t kiss
her any more. Given a decent start any girl can beat a man
nowadays.
GILLESPIE: Then why do you play with men?
ROSALIND: (Leaning forward confidentially)
For that first moment, when he’s interested. There is a moment—Oh,
just before the first kiss, a whispered word—something that makes
it worth while.
GILLESPIE: And then?
ROSALIND: Then after that you make him talk about
himself. Pretty soon he thinks of nothing but being alone with
you—he sulks, he won’t fight, he doesn’t want to
play—Victory!
(Enter DAWSON RYDER, twenty-six,
handsome, wealthy, faithful to his own, a bore perhaps, but steady
and sure of success.)
RYDER: I believe this is my dance, Rosalind.
ROSALIND: Well, Dawson, so you recognize me. Now I
know I haven’t got too much paint on. Mr. Ryder, this is Mr.
Gillespie.
(They shake hands and GILLESPIE leaves,
tremendously downcast.)
RYDER: Your party is certainly a success.
ROSALIND: Is it—I haven’t seen it lately. I’m
weary—Do you mind sitting out a minute?
RYDER: Mind—I’m delighted. You know I loathe this
“rushing” idea. See a girl yesterday, to-day, to-morrow
ROSALIND: Dawson!
RYDER: What?
ROSALIND: I wonder if you know you love me.
RYDER: (Startled) What—Oh—you know you’re
remarkable!
ROSALIND: Because you know I’m an awful
proposition. Any one who marries me will have his hands full. I’m
mean—mighty mean.
RYDER: Oh, I wouldn’t say that.
ROSALIND: Oh, yes, I am—especially to the people
nearest to me. (She rises.) Come, let’s go. I’ve changed my
mind and I want to dance. Mother is probably having a fit.
(Exeunt. Enter ALEC and CECELIA.)
CECELIA: Just my luck to get my own brother for an
intermission.
ALEC: (Gloomily) I’ll go if you want me
to.
CECELIA: Good heavens, no—with whom would I begin
the next dance? (Sighs.) There’s no color in a dance since
the French officers went back.
ALEC: (Thoughtfully) I don’t want Amory to
fall in love with Rosalind.
CECELIA: Why, I had an idea that that was just
what you did want.
ALEC: I did, but since seeing these girls—I don’t
know. I’m awfully attached to Amory. He’s sensitive and I don’t
want him to break his heart over somebody who doesn’t care about
him.
CECELIA: He’s very good looking.
ALEC: (Still thoughtfully) She won’t marry
him, but a girl doesn’t have to marry a man to break his
heart.
CECELIA: What does it? I wish I knew the
secret.
ALEC: Why, you cold-blooded little kitty. It’s
lucky for some that the Lord gave you a pug nose.
(Enter MRS. CONNAGE.)
MRS. CONNAGE: Where on earth is Rosalind?
ALEC: (Brilliantly) Of course you’ve come
to the best people to find out. She’d naturally be with us.
MRS. CONNAGE: Her father has marshalled eight
bachelor millionaires to meet her.
ALEC: You might form a squad and march through the
halls.
MRS. CONNAGE: I’m perfectly serious—for all I know
she may be at the Cocoanut Grove with some football player on the
night of her début. You look left and I’ll—
ALEC: (Flippantly) Hadn’t you better send
the butler through the cellar?
MRS. CONNAGE: (Perfectly serious) Oh, you
don’t think she’d be there?
CECELIA: He’s only joking, mother.
ALEC: Mother had a picture of her tapping a keg of
beer with some high hurdler.
MRS. CONNAGE: Let’s look right away.
(They go out. ROSALIND comes in with
GILLESPIE.)
GILLESPIE: Rosalind—Once more I ask you. Don’t you
care a blessed thing about me?
(AMORY walks in briskly.)
AMORY: My dance.
ROSALIND: Mr. Gillespie, this is Mr. Blaine.
GILLESPIE: I’ve met Mr. Blaine. From Lake Geneva,
aren’t you?
AMORY: Yes.
GILLESPIE: (Desperately) I’ve been there.
It’s in the—the Middle West, isn’t it?
AMORY: (Spicily) Approximately. But I
always felt that I’d rather be provincial hot-tamale than soup
without seasoning.
GILLESPIE: What!
AMORY: Oh, no offense.
(GILLESPIE bows and leaves.)
ROSALIND: He’s too much people.
AMORY: I was in love with a people
once.
ROSALIND: So?
AMORY: Oh, yes—her name was Isabelle—nothing at
all to her except what I read into her.
ROSALIND: What happened?
AMORY: Finally I convinced her that she was
smarter than I was—then she threw me over. Said I was critical and
impractical, you know.
ROSALIND: What do you mean impractical?
AMORY: Oh—drive a car, but can’t change a
tire.
ROSALIND: What are you going to do?
AMORY: Can’t say—run for President, write—
ROSALIND: Greenwich Village?
AMORY: Good heavens, no—I said write—not
drink.
ROSALIND: I like business men. Clever men are
usually so homely.
AMORY: I feel as if I’d known you for ages.
ROSALIND: Oh, are you going to commence the
“pyramid” story?
AMORY: No—I was going to make it French. I was
Louis XIV and you were one of my—my—(Changing his tone)
Suppose—we fell in love.
ROSALIND: I’ve suggested pretending.
AMORY: If we did it would be very big.
ROSALIND: Why?
AMORY: Because selfish people are in a way
terribly capable of great loves.
ROSALIND: (Turning her lips up)
Pretend.
(Very deliberately they kiss.)
AMORY: I can’t say sweet things. But you are
beautiful.
ROSALIND: Not that.
AMORY: What then?
ROSALIND: (Sadly) Oh, nothing—only I want
sentiment, real sentiment—and I never find it.
AMORY: I never find anything else in the world—and
I loathe it.
ROSALIND: It’s so hard to find a male to gratify
one’s artistic taste.
(Some one has opened a door and the music of a
waltz surges into the room. ROSALIND rises.)
ROSALIND: Listen! they’re playing “Kiss Me
Again.”
(He looks at her.)
AMORY: Well?
ROSALIND: Well?
AMORY: (Softly—the battle lost) I love
you.
ROSALIND: I love you—now.
(They kiss.)
AMORY: Oh, God, what have I done?
ROSALIND: Nothing. Oh, don’t talk. Kiss me
again.
AMORY: I don’t know why or how, but I love
you—irom the moment I saw you.
ROSALIND: Me too—I—I—oh, to-night’s
to-night.
(Her brother strolls in, starts and then in a
loud voice says: “Oh, excuse me,” and goes.)
ROSALIND: (Her lips scarcely stirring)
Don’t let me go—I don’t care who knows what I do.
AMORY: Say it!
ROSALIND: I love you-now (They part.) Oh—I
am very youthful, thank God—and rather beautiful, thank God—and
happy, thank God, thank God—(She pauses and then, in an odd
burst ofprophecy, adds) Poor Amory!
(He kisses her again.)
Kismet
Within two weeks Amory and Rosalind were deeply
and passionately in love. The critical qualities which had spoiled
for each of them a dozen romances were dulled by the great wave of
emotion that washed over them.
“It may be an insane love-affair,” she told her
anxious mother, “but it’s not inane.”
The wave swept Amory into an advertising agency
early in March, where he alternated between astonishing bursts of
rather exceptional work and wild dreams of becoming suddenly rich
and touring Italy with Rosalind.
They were together constantly, for lunch, for
dinner, and nearly every evening—always in a sort of breathless
hush, as if they feared that any minute the spell would break and
drop them out of this paradise of rose and flame. But the spell
became a trance, seemed to increase from day to day; they began to
talk of marrying in July—in June. All life was transmitted into
terms of their love, all experience, all desires, all ambitions,
were nullified—their senses of humor crawled into corners to sleep;
their former love-affairs seemed faintly laughable and scarcely
regretted juvenalia.
For the second time in his life Amory had had a
complete bouleversement and was hurrying into line with his
generation.
A Little Interlude
Amory wandered slowly up the avenue and thought of
the night as inevitably his—the pageantry and carnival of rich dusk
and dim streets . . . it seemed that he had closed the book of
fading harmonies at last and stepped into the sensuous vibrant
walks of life. Everywhere these countless lights, this promise of a
night of streets and singing—he moved in a half-dream through the
crowd as if expecting to meet Rosalind hurrying toward him with
eager feet from every corner.... How the unforgettable faces of
dusk would blend to her, the myriad footsteps, a thousand
overtures, would blend to her footsteps; and there would be more
drunkenness than wine in the softness of her eyes on his. Even his
dreams now were faint violins drifting like summer sounds upon the
summer air.
The room was in darkness except for the faint glow
of Tom’s cigarette where he lounged by the open window. As the door
shut behind him, Amory stood a moment with his back against
it.
“Hello, Benvenuto Blaine. How went the advertising
business today?”
Amory sprawled on a couch.
“I loathed it as usual!” The momentary vision of
the bustling agency was displaced quickly by another picture.
“My God! She’s wonderful!”
Tom sighed.
“I can’t tell you,” repeated Amory, “just how
wonderful she is. I don’t want you to know. I don’t want any one to
know.”
Another sigh came from the window—quite a resigned
sigh.
“She’s life and hope and happiness, my whole world
now.”
He felt the quiver of a tear on his eyelid.
“Oh, Golly, Tom!”
Bitter Sweet
“Sit like we do,” she whispered.
He sat in the big chair and held out his arms so
that she could nestle inside them.
“I knew you’d come to-night,” she said softly,
“like summer, just when I needed you most . . . darling . . .
darling . . .”
His lips moved lazily over her face.
“You taste so good,” he sighed.
“How do you mean, lover?”
“Oh, just sweet, just sweet . . .” he held her
closer.
“Amory,” she whispered, “when you’re ready for me
I’ll marry you.”
“We won’t have much at first.”
“Don’t!” she cried. “It hurts when you reproach
yourself for what you can’t give me. I’ve got your precious
self—and that’s enough for me.”
“Tell me . . .”
“You know, don’t you? Oh, you know.”
“Yes, but I want to hear you say it.”
“I love you, Amory, with all my heart.”
“Always, will you?”
“All my life—Oh, Amory—”
“What?”
“I want to belong to you. I want your people to be
my people. I want to have your babies.”
“But I haven’t any people.”
“Don’t laugh at me, Amory. Just kiss me.”
“I’ll do what you want,” he said.
“No, I’ll do what you want. We’re
you—not me. Oh, you’re so much a part, so much all of me . .
.”
He closed his eyes.
“I’m so happy that I’m frightened. Wouldn’t it be
awful if this was—was the high point? . . .”
She looked at him dreamily.
“Beauty and love pass, I know.... Oh, there’s
sadness, too. I suppose all great happiness is a little sad. Beauty
means the scent of roses and then the death of roses—”
“Beauty means the agony of sacrifice and the end of
agony. . . .”
“And, Amory, we’re beautiful, I know. I’m sure God
loves us—”
“He loves you. You’re his most precious
possession.”
“I’m not his, I’m yours. Amory, I belong to you.
For the first time I regret all the other kisses; now I know how
much a kiss can mean.”
Then they would smoke and he would tell her about
his day at the office—and where they might live. Sometimes, when he
was particularly loquacious, she went to sleep in his arms, but he
loved that Rosalind—all Rosalinds—as he had never in the world
loved any one else. Intangibly fleeting, unrememberable
hours.
Aquatic Incident
One day Amory and Howard Gillespie meeting by
accident down-town took lunch together, and Amory heard a story
that delighted him. Gillespie after several cocktails was in a
talkative mood; he began by telling Amory that he was sure Rosalind
was slightly eccentric.
He had gone with her on a swimming party up in
Westchester County, and some one mentioned that Annette Kellerman
had been there one day on a visit and had dived from the top of a
rickety, thirty-foot summer-house. Immediately Rosalind insisted
that Howard should climb up with her to see what it looked
like.
A minute later, as he sat and dangled his feet on
the edge, a form shot by him; Rosalind, her arms spread in a
beautiful swan dive, had sailed through the air into the clear
water.
“Of course I had to go, after that—and I nearly
killed myself I thought I was pretty good to even try it. Nobody
else in the party tried it. Well, afterward Rosalind had the nerve
to ask me why I stooped over when I dove. ‘It didn’t make it any
easier,’ she said, ‘it just took all the courage out of it.’ I ask
you, what can a man do with a girl like that? Unnecessary, I call
it.”
Gillespie failed to understand why Amory was
smiling delightedly all through lunch. He thought perhaps he was
one of these hollow optimists.
Five Weeks Later
Again the library of the Connage house.
ROSALIND is alone, sitting on the lounge staring very moodily
and unhappily at nothing. She has changed perceptibly—she is
a trifle thinner for one thing; the light in her eyes is not so
bright; she looks easily a year older.
Her mother comes in, muffled in an opera-cloak.
She takes in ROSALIND with a nervous glance.
MRS. CONNAGE: Who is coming to-night?
(ROSALIND fails to hear her, at least takes no
notice.)
MRS. CONNAGE: Alec is coming up to take me to this
Barrie play, “Et tu, Brutus.” (She perceives that she is talking
to herself.) Rosalind! I asked you who is coming
to-night?
ROSALIND: (Starting)
Oh—what—oh—Amory—
MRS. CONNAGE: (Sarcastically) You have so
many admirers lately that I couldn’t imagine which
one. (ROSALIND doesn’t answer.) Dawson Ryder is more patient
than I thought he’d be. You haven’t given him an evening this
week.
ROSALIND: (With a very weary expression that is
quite new to her face) Mother—please—
MRS. CONNAGE: Oh, I won’t interfere. You’ve
already wasted over two months on a theoretical genius who hasn’t a
penny to his name, but go ahead, waste your life on him. I
won’t interfere.
ROSALIND: (As if repeating a tiresome
lesson) You know he has a little income—and you know he’s
earning thirty-five dollars a week in advertising—
MRS. CONNAGE: And it wouldn’t buy your clothes.
(She pauses but ROSALIND makes no reply.) I have your
best interests at heart when I tell you not to take a step you’ll
spend your days regretting. It’s not as if your father could help
you. Things have been hard for him lately and he’s an old man.
You’d be dependent absolutely on a dreamer, a nice, well-born boy,
but a dreamer—merely clever. (She implies that this quality in
itself is rather vicious.)
ROSALIND: For heaven’s sake, mother—
(A maid appears, announces Mr. Blaine who
follows immediately. AMORY’S friends have been telling him for ten
days that he “looks like the wrath of God, ” and he does. As a
matter of fact he has not been able to eat a mouthful in the last
thirty-six hours.)
AMORY: Good evening, Mrs. Connage.
MRS. CONNAGE: (Not unkindly) Good evening,
Amory.
(AMORY and ROSALIND exchange
glances—and ALEC comes in. ALEC’S attitude
throughout has been neutral. He believes in his heart that the
marriage would make AMORY mediocre and ROSALIND
miserable, but he feels a great sympathy for both of
them.)
ALEC: Hi, Amory!
AMORY: Hi, Alec! Tom said he’d meet you at the
theatre.
ALEC: Yeah, just saw him. How’s the advertising
to-day? Write some brilliant copy?
AMORY: Oh, it’s about the same. I got a
raise—(Every one looks at him rather eagerly)—of two dollars
a week. (General collapse)
MRS. CONNAGE: Come, Alec, I hear the car.
(A good night, rather chilly in sections.
After MRS. CONNAGE and ALEC go out there is a
pause. ROSALIND still stares moodily at the fireplace.
AMORY goes to her and puts his arm around her.)
AMORY: Darling girl.
(They kiss. Another pause and then she seizes
his hand, covers it with kisses and holds it to her
breast.)
ROSALIND: (Sadly) I love your hands, more
than anything. I see them often when you’re away from me—so tired;
I know every line of them. Dear hands!
(Their eyes meet for a second and then she
begins to cry—a tearless sobbing.)
AMORY: Rosalind!
ROSALIND: Oh, we’re so darned pitiful!
AMORY: Rosalind!
ROSALIND: Oh, I want to die!
AMORY: Rosalind, another night of this and I’ll go
to pieces. You’ve been this way four days now. You’ve got to be
more encouraging or I can’t work or eat or sleep. (He looks
around helplessly as if searching for new words to clothe an old,
shopworn phrase.) We’ll have to make a start. I like
having to make a start together. (His forced hopefulness fades
as he sees her unresponsive.) What’s the matter? (He gets up
suddenly and starts to pace the floor.) It’s Dawson Ryder,
that’s what it is. He’s been working on your nerves. You’ve been
with him every afternoon for a week. People come and tell me
they’ve seen you together, and I have to smile and nod and pretend
it hasn’t the slightest significance for me. And you won’t tell me
anything as it develops.
ROSALIND: Amory, if you don’t sit down I’ll
scream.
AMORY: (Sitting down suddenly beside her)
Oh, Lord.
ROSALIND: (Taking his hand gently) You know
I love you, don’t you?
AMORY: Yes.
ROSALIND: You know I’ll always love you—
AMORY: Don’t talk that way; you frighten me. It
sounds as if we weren’t going to have each other. (She cries a
little and risingfrom the couch goes to the armcbair.) I’ve
felt all afternoon that things were worse. I nearly went wild down
at the office—couldn’t write a line. Tell me everything.
ROSALIND: There’s nothing to tell, I say. I’m just
nervous.
AMORY: Rosalind, you’re playing with the idea of
marrying Dawson Ryder.
ROSALIND: (After a pause) He’s been
asking me to all day.
AMORY: Well, he’s got his nerve!
ROSALIND: (After another pause) I like
him.
AMORY: Don’t say that. It hurts me.
ROSALIND: Don’t be a silly idiot. You know you’re
the only man I’ve ever loved, ever will love.
AMORY: (Quickly) Rosalind, let’s get
married—next week.
ROSALIND: We can’t.
AMORY: Why not?
ROSALIND: Oh, we can’t. I’d be your squaw—in some
horrible place.
AMORY: We’ll have two hundred and seventy-five
dollars a month all told.
ROSALIND: Darling, I don’t even do my own hair,
usually.
AMORY: I’ll do it for you.
ROSALIND: (Between a laugh and a sob)
Thanks.
AMORY: Rosalind, you can’t be thinking of
marrying some one else. Tell me! You leave me in the dark. I can
help you fight it out if you’ll only tell me.
ROSALIND: It’s just—us. We’re pitiful, that’s all.
The very qualities I love you for are the ones that will always
make you a failure.
AMORY: (Grimly) Go on.
ROSALIND: Oh—it is Dawson Ryder. He’s so
reliable, I almost feel that he’d be a—a background.
AMORY: You don’t love him.
ROSALIND: I know, but I respect him, and he’s a
good man and a strong one.
AMORY: (Grudgingly) Yes—he’s that.
ROSALIND: Well—here’s one little thing. There was
a little poor boy we met in Rye Tuesday afternoon—and, oh, Dawson
took him on his lap and talked to him and promised him an Indian
suit—and next day he remembered and bought it—and, oh, it was so
sweet and I couldn’t help thinking he’d be so nice to—to our
children—take care of them—and I wouldn’t have to worry.
AMORY: (In despair) Rosalind!
Rosalind!
ROSALIND: (With a faint roguishness) Don’t
look so consciously suf fering.
AMORY: What power we have of hurting each
other!
ROSALIND: (Commencing to sob again) It’s
been so perfect—you and I. So like a dream that I’d longed for and
never thought I’d find. The first real unselfishness I’ve ever felt
in my life. And I can’t see it fade out in a colorless
atmosphere!
AMORY: It wont—it won’t!
ROSALIND: I’d rather keep it as a beautiful
memory—tucked away in my heart.
AMORY: Yes, women can do that—but not men. I’d
remember always, not the beauty of it while it lasted, but just the
bitterness, the long bitterness.
ROSALIND: Don’t!
AMORY: All the years never to see you, never to
kiss you, just a gate shut and barred—you don’t dare be my
wife.
ROSALIND: No—no—I’m taking the hardest course, the
strongest course. Marrying you would be a failure and I never
fail—if you don’t stop walking up and down I’ll scream!
(Again he sinks despairingly onto the
lounge.)
AMORY: Come over here and kiss me.
ROSALIND: No.
AMORY: Don’t you want to kiss me?
ROSALIND: To-night I want you to love me calmly
and coolly.
AMORY: The beginning of the end.
ROSALIND: (With a burst of insight) Amory,
you’re young. I’m young. People excuse us now for our poses and
vanities, for treating people like Sancho and yet getting away with
it. They excuse us now. But you’ve got a lot of knocks coming to
you—
AMORY: And you’re afraid to take them with
me.
ROSALIND: No, not that. There was a poem I read
somewhere—you’ll say Ella Wheeler Wilcox and laugh-but
listen:
“For this is wisdom—to love and live,
To take what fate or the gods may give,
To ask no question, to make no prayer,
To kiss the lips and caress the hair,
Speed passion’s ebb as we greet its flow,
To have and to hold, and, in time—let go.”
To take what fate or the gods may give,
To ask no question, to make no prayer,
To kiss the lips and caress the hair,
Speed passion’s ebb as we greet its flow,
To have and to hold, and, in time—let go.”
AMORY: But we haven’t had.
ROSALIND: Amory, I’m yours—you know it. There have
been times in the last month I’d have been completely yours if
you’d said so. But I can’t marry you and ruin both our lives.
AMORY: We’ve got to take our chance for
happiness.
ROSALIND: Dawson says I’d learn to love him.
(AMORY with his head sunk in his hands does not
move. The life seems suddenly gone out of him.)
ROSALIND: Lover! Lover! I can’t do with you, and I
can’t imagine life without you.
AMORY: Rosalind, we’re on each other’s nerves.
It’s just that we’re both high-strung, and this week—
(His voice is curiously old. She crosses to him
and taking his face in her hands, kisses him.)
ROSALIND: I can’t, Amory. I can’t be shut away
from the trees and flowers, cooped up in a little flat, waiting for
you. You’d hate me in a narrow atmosphere. I’d make you hate
me.
(Again she is blinded by sudden uncontrolled
tears.)
AMORY: Rosalind—
ROSALIND: Oh, darling, go—Don’t make it harder! I
can’t stand it—
AMORY: (His face drawn, his voice strained)
Do you know what you’re saying? Do you mean forever?
(There is a difference somehow in the quality
of their suffering.)
ROSALIND: Can’t you see—
AMORY: I’m afraid I can’t if you love me. You’re
afraid of taking two years’ knocks with me.
ROSALIND: I wouldn’t be the Rosalind you
love.
AMORY: (A little hysterically) I can’t give
you up! I can’t, that’s all! I’ve got to have you!
ROSALIND: (A hard note in her voice) You’re
being a baby now.
AMORY: (Wildly) I don’t care! You’re
spoiling our lives!
ROSALIND: I’m doing the wise thing, the only
thing.
AMORY: Are you going to marry Dawson Ryder?
ROSALIND: Oh, don’t ask me. You know I’m old in
some ways—in others—well, I’m just a little girl. I like sunshine
and pretty things and cheerfulness—and I dread responsibility. I
don’t want to think about pots and kitchens and brooms. I want to
worry whether my legs will get slick and brown when I swim in the
summer.
AMORY: And you love me.
ROSALIND: That’s just why it has to end. Drifting
hurts too much. We can’t have any more scenes like this.
(She draws his ring from her finger and hands
it to him. Their eyes blind again with tears.)
AMORY: (His lips against her wet cheek)
Don’t! Keep it, please—oh, don’t break my heart!
(She presses the ring softly into his
hand.)
ROSALIND: (Brokenly) You’d better go.
AMORY: Good-by—
(She looks at him once more, with infinite
longing, infinite sadness.)
ROSALIND: Don’t ever forget me, Amory—
AMORY: Good-by—
(He goes to the door, fumbles for the knob,
finds it—she sees him throw back his head—and he is gone. Gone—she
half starts from the lounge and then sinks forward on her face into
the pillows.)
ROSALIND: Oh, God, I want to die! (After a
moment she rises and with her eyes closed feels her way to the
door. Then she turns and looks once more at the room. Here they had
sat and dreamed: that tray she had so often filled with matches for
him; that shade that they had discreetly lowered one long Sunday
afternoon. Misty-eyed she stands and remembers ; she speaks
aloud.) Oh, Amory, what have I done to you?
(And deep under the aching sadness that will
pass in time, Rosalind feels that she has lost something, she knows
not what, she knows not why.)