CHAPTER I
A MATTER OF CIVILIZATION
AT A FRANTIC COMMAND from some invisible source,
Anthony groped his way inside. He was thinking that for the first
time in more than three years he was to remain longer than a night
away from Gloria. The finality of it appealed to him drearily. It
was his clean and lovely girl that he was leaving.
They had arrived, he thought, at the most practical
financial settlement: she was to have three hundred and
seventy-five dollars a month—not too much considering that over
half of that would go in rent—and he was taking fifty to supplement
his pay. He saw no need for more: food; clothes, and quarters would
be provided—there were no social obligations for a private.
The car was crowded and already thick with breath.
It was one of the type known as “tourist” cars, a sort of brummagem
Pullman, with a bare floor, and straw seats that needed cleaning.
Nevertheless, Anthony greeted it with relief. He had vaguely
expected that the trip South would be made in a freight-car, in one
end of which would stand eight horses and in the other forty men.
He had heard the “hommes 40, chevaux 8” story so often that it had
become confused and ominous.
As he rocked down the aisle with his barrack-bag
slung at his shoulder like a monstrous blue sausage, he saw no
vacant seats, but after a moment his eye fell on a single space at
present occupied by the feet of a short swarthy Sicilian, who, with
his hat drawn over his eyes, hunched defiantly in the corner. As
Anthony stopped beside him he stared up with a scowl, evidently
intended to be intimidating; he must have adopted it as a defense
against this entire gigantic equation. At Anthony’s sharp “That
seat taken?” he very slowly lifted the feet as though they were a
breakable package, and placed them with some care upon the floor.
His eyes remained on Anthony, who meanwhile sat down and unbuttoned
the uniform coat issued him at Camp Upton the day before. It chafed
him under the arms.
Before Anthony could scrutinize the other occupants
of the section a young second lieutenant blew in at the upper end
of the car and wafted airily down the aisle, announcing in a voice
of appalling acerbity:
“There will be no smoking in this car! No smoking!
Don’t smoke, men, in this car!”
As he sailed out at the other end a dozen little
clouds of expostulation arose on all sides.
“Oh, cripe!”
“Jeese!”
“No smokin’?”
“Hey, come back here, fella!”
“What’s ’ee idea?”
Two or three cigarettes were shot out through the
open windows. Others were retained inside, though kept sketchily
away from view. From here and there in accents of bravado, of
mockery, of submissive humor, a few remarks were dropped that soon
melted into the listless and pervasive silence.
The fourth occupant of Anthony’s section spoke up
suddenly.
“G’by, liberty,” he said sullenly. “G’by,
everything except bein’ an officer’s dog.”
Anthony looked at him. He was a tall Irishman with
an expression moulded of indifference and utter disdain. His eyes
fell on Anthony, as though he expected an answer, and then upon the
others. Receiving only a defiant stare from the Italian he groaned
and spat noisily on the floor by way of a dignified transition back
into taciturnity.
A few minutes later the door opened again and the
second lieutenant was borne in upon his customary official zephyr,
this time singing out a different tiding:
“All right, men, smoke if you want to! My mistake,
men! It’s all right, men! Go on and smoke—my mistake!”
This time Anthony had a good look at him. He was
young, thin, already faded; he was like his own mustache; he was
like a great piece of shiny straw. His chin receded, faintly; this
was offset by a magnificent and unconvincing scowl, a scowl that
Anthony was to connect with the faces of many young officers during
the ensuing year.
Immediately every one smoked—whether they had
previously desired to or not. Anthony’s cigarette contributed to
the hazy oxidation which seemed to roll back and forth in
opalescent clouds with every motion of the train. The conversation,
which had lapsed between the two impressive visits of the young
officer, now revived tepidly; the men across the aisle began making
clumsy experiments with their straw seats’ capacity for comparative
comfort; two card-games, half-heartedly begun, soon drew several
spectators to sitting positions on the arms of seats. In a few
minutes Anthony became aware of a persistently obnoxious sound—the
small, defiant Sicilian had fallen audibly asleep. It was wearisome
to contemplate that animate protoplasm, reasonable by courtesy
only, shut up in a car by an incomprehensible civilization, taken
somewhere, to do a vague something without aim or significance or
consequence. Anthony sighed, opened a newspaper which he had no
recollection of buying, and began to read by the dim yellow
light.
Ten o’clock bumped stuffily into eleven; the hours
clogged and caught and slowed down. Amazingly the train halted
along the dark countryside, from time to time indulging in short,
deceitful movements backward or forward, and whistling harsh pæans
into the high October night. Having read his newspaper through,
editorials, cartoons, and war-poems, his eye fell on a half-column
headed Shakespeareville, Kansas. It seemed that the
Shakespeareville Chamber of Commerce had recently held an
enthusiastic debate as to whether the American soldiers should be
known as “Sammies” or “Battling Christians.” The thought gagged
him. He dropped the newspaper, yawned, and let his mind drift off
at a tangent. He wondered why Gloria had been late. It seemed so
long ago already—he had a pang of illusive loneliness. He tried to
imagine from what angle she would regard her new position, what
place in her considerations he would continue to hold. The thought
acted as a further depressant—he opened his paper and began to read
again.
The members of the Chamber of Commerce in
Shakespeareville had decided upon “Liberty Lads.”
For two nights and two days they rattled southward,
making mysterious inexplicable stops in what were apparently arid
wastes, and then rushing through large cities with a pompous air of
hurry. The whimsicalities of this train foreshadowed for Anthony
the whimsicalities of all army administration.
In the arid wastes they were served from the
baggage-car with beans and bacon that at first he was unable to
eat—he dined scantily on some milk chocolate distributed by a
village canteen. But on the second day the baggage-car’s output
began to appear surprisingly palatable. On the third morning the
rumor was passed along that within the hour they would arrive at
their destination, Camp Hooker.
It had become intolerably hot in the car, and the
men were all in shirt-sleeves. The sun came in through the windows,
a tired and ancient sun, yellow as parchment and stretched out of
shape in transit. It tried to enter in triumphant squares and
produced only warped splotches—but it was appallingly steady; so
much so that it disturbed Anthony not to be the pivot of all the
inconsequential sawmills and trees and telegraph-poles that were
turning around him so fast. Outside it played its heavy tremolo
over olive roads and fallow cotton-fields, back of which ran a
ragged line of woods broken with eminences of gray rock. The
foreground was dotted sparsely with wretched, ill-patched shanties,
among which there would flash by, now and then, a specimen of the
languid yokelry of South Carolina, or else a strolling darky with
sullen and bewildered eyes.
Then the woods moved off and they rolled into a
broad space like the baked top of a gigantic cake, sugared with an
infinity of tents arranged in geometric figures over its surface.
The train came to an uncertain stop, and the sun and the poles and
the trees faded, and his universe rocked itself slowly back to its
old usualness, with Anthony Patch in the centre. As the men, weary
and perspiring, crowded out of the car, he smelt that unforgettable
aroma that impregnates all permanent camps—the odor of
garbage.
Camp Hooker was an astonishing and spectacular
growth, suggesting “A Mining Town in 1870—The Second Week.” It was
a thing of wooden shacks and whitish-gray tents, connected by a
pattern of roads, with hard tan drill-grounds fringed with trees.
Here and there stood green Y.M.C.A. houses, unpromising oases, with
their muggy odor of wet flannels and closed telephone-booths—and
across from each of them there was usually a canteen, swarming with
life, presided over indolently by an officer who, with the aid of a
side-car, usually managed to make his detail a pleasant and chatty
sinecure.
Up and down the dusty roads sped the soldiers of
the quartermaster corps, also in side-cars. Up and down drove the
generals in their government automobiles, stopping now and then to
bring unalert details to attention, to frown heavily upon captains
marching at the heads of companies, to set the pompous pace in that
gorgeous game of showing off which was taking place triumphantly
over the entire area.
The first week after the arrival of Anthony’s draft
was filled with a series of interminable inoculations and physical
examinations, and with the preliminary drilling. The days left him
desperately tired. He had been issued the wrong-size shoes by a
popular, easy-going supply-sergeant, and in consequence his feet
were so swollen that the last hours of the afternoon were an acute
torture. For the first time in his life he could throw himself down
on his cot between dinner and afternoon drill-call, and seeming to
sink with each moment deeper into a bottomless bed, drop off
immediately to sleep, while the noise and laughter around him faded
to a pleasant drone of drowsy summer sound. In the morning he awoke
stiff and aching, hollow as a ghost, and hurried forth to meet the
other ghostly figures who swarmed in the wan company streets, while
a harsh bugle shrieked and spluttered at the gray heavens.
He was in a skeleton infantry company of about a
hundred men. After the invariable breakfast of fatty bacon, cold
toast, and cereal, the entire hundred would rush for the latrines,
which, however well policed, seemed always intolerable, like the
lavatories in cheap hotels. Out on the field, then, in ragged
order—the lame man on his left grotesquely marring Anthony’s
listless efforts to keep in step, the platoon sergeants either
showing off violently to impress the officers and recruits, or else
quietly lurking in close to the line of march, avoiding both labor
and unnecessary visibility.
When they reached the field, work began
immediately—they peeled off their shirts for calisthenics. This was
the only part of the day that Anthony enjoyed. Lieutenant
Kretching, who presided at the antics, was sinewy and muscular, and
Anthony followed his movements faithfully, with a feeling that he
was doing something of positive value to himself. The other
officers and sergeants walked about among the men with the malice
of schoolboys, grouping here and there around some unfortunate who
lacked muscular control, giving him confused instructions and
commands. When they discovered a particularly forlorn,
ill-nourished specimen, they would linger the full half-hour making
cutting remarks and snickering among themselves.
One little officer named Hopkins, who had been a
sergeant in the regular army, was particularly annoying. He took
the war as a gift of revenge from the high gods to himself, and the
constant burden of his harangues was that these rookies did not
appreciate the full gravity and responsibility of “the service.” He
considered that by a combination of foresight and dauntless
efficiency he had raised himself to his current magnificence. He
aped the particular tyrannies of every officer under whom he had
served in times gone by. His frown was frozen on his brow—before
giving a private a pass to go to town he would ponderously weigh
the effect of such an absence upon the company, the army, and the
welfare of the military profession the world over.
Lieutenant Kretching, blond, dull and phlegmatic,
introduced Anthony ponderously to the problems of attention, right
face, about face, and at ease. His principal defect was his
forgetfulness. He often kept the company straining and aching at
attention for five minutes while he stood out in front and
explained a new movement—as a result only the men in the centre
knew what it was all about—those on both flanks had been too
emphatically impressed with the necessity of staring straight
ahead.
The drill continued until noon. It consisted of
stressing a succession of infinitely remote details, and though
Anthony perceived that this was consistent with the logic of war,
it none the less irritated him. That the same faulty blood-pressure
which would have been indecent in an officer did not interfere with
the duties of a private was a preposterous incongruity. Sometimes,
after listening to a sustained invective concerned with a dull and,
on the face of it, absurd subject known as military “courtesy,” he
suspected that the dim purpose of the war was to let the regular
army officers—men with the mentality and aspirations of
schoolboys—have their fling with some real slaughter. He was being
grotesquely sacrificed to the twenty-year patience of a
Hopkins!
Of his three tent-mates—a flat-faced, conscientious
objector from Tennessee, a big, scared Pole, and the disdainful
Celt whom he had sat beside on the train—the two former spent the
evenings in writing eternal letters home, while the Irishman sat in
the tent-door whistling over and over to himself half a dozen
shrill and monotonous bird-calls. s It was
rather to avoid an hour of their company than with any hope of
diversion that, when the quarantine was lifted at the end of the
week, he went into town. He caught one of the swarm of jitneys that
overran the camp each evening, and in half an hour was set down in
front of the Stonewall Hotel on the hot and drowsy main
street.
Under the gathering twilight the town was
unexpectedly attractive. The sidewalks were peopled by vividly
dressed, overpainted girls, who chattered volubly in low, lazy
voices, by dozens of taxi-drivers who assailed passing officers
with “Take y’ anywheh, Lieutenant,” and by an intermittent
procession of ragged, shuffling, subservient negroes. Anthony,
loitering along through the warm dusk, felt for the first time in
years the slow, erotic breath of the South, imminent in the hot
softness of the air, in the pervasive lull of thought and
time.
He had gone about a block when he was arrested
suddenly by a harsh command at his elbow.
“Haven’t you been taught to salute officers?”
He looked dumbly at the man who addressed him, a
stout, black-haired captain, who fixed him menacingly with brown
pop-eyes.
“Come to attention!”1 The
words were literally thundered. A few pedestrians near by stopped
and stared. A soft-eyed girl in a lilac dress tittered to her
companion.
Anthony came to attention.
“What’s your regiment and company?”
Anthony told him.
“After this when you pass an officer on the street
you straighten up and salute!”
“All right!”
“Say ‘Yes, sir!’”
“Yes, sir.”
The stout officer grunted, turned sharply, and
marched down the street. After a moment Anthony moved on; the town
was no longer indolent and exotic; the magic was suddenly gone out
of the dusk. His eyes were turned precipitately inward upon the
indignity of his position. He hated that officer, every
officer—life was unendurable.
After he had gone half a block he realized that the
girl in the lilac dress who had giggled at his discomfiture was
walking with her friend about ten paces ahead of him. Several times
she had turned and stared at Anthony, with cheerful laughter in the
large eyes that seemed the same color as her gown.
At the corner she and her companion visibly
slackened their pace—he must make his choice between joining them
and passing obliviously by. He passed, hesitated, then slowed down.
In a moment the pair were abreast of him again, dissolved in
laughter now—not such strident mirth as he would have expected in
the North from actresses in this familiar comedy, but a soft, low
rippling, like the overflow from some subtle joke, into which he
had inadvertently blundered.
“How do you do?” he said.
Her eyes were soft as shadows. Were they violet, or
was it their blue darkness mingling with the gray hues of
dusk?
“Pleasant evening,” ventured Anthony
uncertainly.
“Sure is,” said the second girl.
“Hasn’t been a very pleasant evening for you,”
sighed the girl in lilac. Her voice seemed as much a part of the
night as the drowsy breeze stirring the wide brim of her hat.
“He had to have a chance to show off,” said Anthony
with a scornful laugh.
“Reckon so,” she agreed.
They turned the corner and moved lackadaisically up
a side street, as if following a drifting cable to which they were
attached. In this town it seemed entirely natural to turn corners
like that, it seemed natural to be bound nowhere in particular, to
be thinking nothing.... The side street was dark, a sudden offshoot
into a district of wild-rose hedges and little quiet houses set far
back from the street.
“Where’re you going?” he inquired politely.
“Just goin’.” The answer was an apology, a
question, an explanation.
“Can I stroll along with you?”
“Reckon so.”
It was an advantage that her accent was different.
He could not have determined the social status of a Southerner from
her talk—in New York a girl of a lower class would have been
raucous, unendurable—except through the rosy spectacles of
intoxication.
Dark was creeping down. Talking little—Anthony in
careless, casual questions, the other two with provincial economy
of phrase and burden—they sauntered past another corner, and
another. In the middle of a block they stopped beneath a
lamp-post.
“I live near here,” explained the other girl.
“I live around the block,” said the girl in
lilac.
“Can I see you home?”
“To the corner, if you want to.”
The other girl took a few steps backward. Anthony
removed his hat.
“You’re supposed to salute,” said the girl in lilac
with a laugh. “All the soldiers salute.”
“I’ll learn,” he responded soberly.
The other girl said, “Well—” hesitated, then added,
“call me up to-morrow, Dot,” and retreated from the yellow circle
of the street-lamp. Then, in silence, Anthony and the girl in lilac
walked the three blocks to the small rickety house which was her
home. Outside the wooden gate she hesitated.
“Well—thanks.”
“Must you go in so soon?”
“I ought to.”
“Can’t you stroll around a little longer?”
She regarded him dispassionately.
“I don’t even know you.”
Anthony laughed.
“It’s not too late.”
“I reckon I better go in.”
“I thought we might walk down and see a
movie.”
“I’d like to.”
“Then I could bring you home. I’d have just enough
time. I’ve got to be in camp by eleven.”
It was so dark that he could scarcely see her now.
She was a dress swayed infinitesimally by the wind, two limpid,
reckless eyes ...
“Why don’t you come—Dot? Don’t you like movies?
Better come.”
She shook her head.
“I oughtn’t to.”
He liked her, realizing that she was temporizing
for the effect on him. He came closer and took her hand.
“If we get back by ten, can’t you? Just to the
movies?”
“Well—I reckon so—”
Hand in hand they walked back toward down-town,
along a hazy, dusky street where a negro newsboy was calling an
extra in the cadence of the local venders’ tradition, a cadence
that was as musical as song.
Dot
Anthony’s affair with Dorothy Raycroft was an
inevitable result of his increasing carelessness about himself. He
did not go to her desiring to possess the desirable, nor did he
fall before a personality more vital, more compelling than his own,
as he had done with Gloria four years before. He merely slid into
the matter through his inability to make definite judgments. He
could say “No!” neither to man nor woman; borrower and temptress
alike found him tender-minded and pliable. Indeed he seldom made
decisions at all, and when he did they were but half-hysterical
resolves formed in the panic of some aghast and irreparable
awakening.
The particular weakness he indulged on this
occasion was his need of excitement and stimulus from without. He
felt that for the first time in four years he could express and
interpret himself anew. The girl promised rest; the hours in her
company each evening alleviated the morbid and inevitably futile
poundings of his imagination. He had become a coward in
earnest—completely the slave of a hundred disordered and prowling
thoughts which were released by the collapse of the authentic
devotion to Gloria that had been the chief jailer of his
insufficiency.
On that first night, as they stood by the gate, he
kissed Dorothy and made an engagement to meet her the following
Saturday. Then he went out to camp, and with the light burning
lawlessly in his tent, he wrote a long letter to Gloria, a glowing
letter, full of the sentimental dark, full of the remembered breath
of flowers, full of a true and exceeding tenderness—these things he
had learned again for a moment in a kiss given and taken under a
rich warm moonlight just an hour before.
When Saturday night came he found Dot waiting at
the entrance of the Bijou Moving Picture Theatre. She was dressed
as on the preceding Wednesday in her lilac gown of frailest
organdy, but it had evidently been washed and starched since then,
for it was fresh and unrumpled. Daylight confirmed the impression
he had received that in a sketchy, faulty way she was lovely. She
was clean, her features were small, irregular, but eloquent and
appropriate to each other. She was a dark, unenduring little
flower—yet he thought he detected in her some quality of spiritual
reticence, of strength drawn from her passive acceptance of all
things. In this he was mistaken.
Dorothy Raycroft was nineteen. Her father had kept
a small, unprosperous corner store, and she had graduated from high
school in the lowest fourth of her class two days before he died.
At high school she had enjoyed a rather unsavory reputation. As a
matter of fact her behavior at the class picnic, where the rumors
started, had been merely indiscreet—she had retained her technical
purity until over a year later. The boy had been a clerk in a store
on Jackson Street, and on the day after the incident he departed
unexpectedly to New York. He had been intending to leave for some
time, but had tarried for the consummation of his amorous
enterprise.
After a while she confided the adventure to a girl
friend, and later, as she watched her friend disappear down the
sleepy street of dusty sunshine, she knew in a flash of intuition
that her story was going out into the world. Yet after telling it
she felt much better, and a little bitter, and made as near an
approach to character as she was capable of by walking in another
direction and meeting another man with the honest intention of
gratifying herself again. As a rule things happened to Dot. She was
not weak, because there was nothing in her to tell her she was
being weak. She was not strong, because she never knew that some of
the things she did were brave. She neither defied nor conformed nor
compromised.
She had no sense of humor, but, to take its place,
a happy disposition that made her laugh at the proper times when
she was with men. She had no definite intentions—sometimes she
regretted vaguely that her reputation precluded what chance she had
ever had for security. There had been no open discovery: her mother
was interested only in starting her off on time each morning for
the jewelry-store where she earned fourteen dollars a week. But
some of the boys she had known in high school now looked the other
way when they were walking with “nice girls,” and these incidents
hurt her feelings. When they occurred she went home and
cried.
Besides the Jackson Street clerk there had been two
other men, of whom the first was a naval officer, who passed
through town during the early days of the war. He had stayed over a
night to make a connection, and was leaning idly against one of the
pillars of the Stonewall Hotel when she passed by. He remained in
town four days. She thought she loved him—lavished on him that
first hysteria of passion that would have gone to the pusillanimous
clerk. The naval officer’s uniform—there were few of them in those
days—had made the magic. He left with vague promises on his lips,
and, once on the train, rejoiced that he had not told her his real
name.
Her resultant depression had thrown her into the
arms of Cyrus Fielding, the son of a local clothier, who had hailed
her from his roadster one day as she passed along the sidewalk. She
had always known him by name. Had she been born to a higher stratum
he would have known her before. She had descended a little lower—so
he met her after all. After a month he had gone away to
training-camp, a little afraid of the intimacy; a little relieved
in perceiving that she had not cared deeply for him, and that she
was not the sort who would ever make trouble. Dot romanticized this
affair and conceded to her vanity that the war had taken these men
away from her. She told herself that she could have married the
naval officer. Nevertheless, it worried her that within eight
months there had been three men in her life. She thought with more
fear than wonder in her heart that she would soon be like those
“bad girls” on Jackson Street at whom she and her gum-chewing,
giggling friends had stared with fascinated glances three years
before.
For a while she attempted to be more careful. She
let men “pick her up”; she let them kiss her, and even allowed
certain other liberties to be forced upon her, but she did not add
to her trio. After several months the strength of her resolution—or
rather the poignant expediency of her fears—was worn away. She grew
restless drowsing there out of life and time while the summer
months faded. The soldiers she met were either obviously below her
or, less obviously, above her—in which case they desired only to
use her; they were Yankees, harsh and ungracious; they swarmed in
large crowds.... And then she met Anthony.
On that first evening he had been little more than
a pleasantly unhappy face, a voice, the means with which to pass an
hour, but when she kept her engagement with him on Saturday she
regarded him with consideration. She liked him. Unknowingly she saw
her own tragedies mirrored in his face.
Again they went to the movies, again they wandered
along the shadowy, scented streets, hand in hand this time,
speaking a little in hushed voices. They passed through the gate—up
toward the little porch———
“I can stay a while, can’t I?”
“Sh!” she whispered, “we’ve got to be very quiet.
Mother sits up reading Snappy Stories.” In confirmation he heard
the faint crackling inside as a page was turned. The open-shutter
slits emitted horizontal rods of light that fell in thin parallels
across Dorothy’s skirt. The street was silent save for a group on
the steps of a house across the way, who, from time to time, raised
their voices in a soft, bantering song.
“—When you wa-ake
You shall ha-ave
All the pretty little hawsiz—”
You shall ha-ave
All the pretty little hawsiz—”
Then, as though it had been waiting on a near-by
roof for their arrival, the moon came slanting suddenly through the
vines and turned the girl’s face to the color of white roses.
Anthony had a start of memory, so vivid that before
his closed eyes there formed a picture, distinct as a flashback on
a screen—a spring night of thaw set out of time in a half-forgotten
winter five years before—another face, radiant, flower-like,
upturned to lights as transforming as the stars———
Ah, la belle dame sans merci who lived in
his heart,2 made
known to him in transitory fading splendor by dark eyes in the
Ritz-Carlton, by a shadowy glance from a passing carriage in the
Bois de Boulogne! But those nights were only part of a song, a
remembered glory—here again were the faint winds, the illusions,
the eternal present with its promise of romance.
“Oh,” she whispered, “do you love me? Do you love
me?”
The spell was broken—the drifted fragments of the
stars became only light, the singing down the street diminished to
a monotone, to the whimper of locusts in the grass. With almost a
sigh he kissed her fervent mouth, while her arms crept up about his
shoulders.
The Man-at-Arms
As the weeks dried up and blew away, the range of
Anthony’s travels extended until he grew to comprehend the camp and
its environment. For the first time in his life he was in constant
personal contact with the waiters to whom he had given tips, the
chauffeurs who had touched their hats to him, the carpenters,
plumbers, barbers, and farmers who had previously been remarkable
only in the subservience of their professional genuflections.
During his first two months in camp he did not hold ten minutes’
consecutive conversation with a single man.
On the service record his occupation stood as
“student”; on the original questionnaire he had prematurely written
“author”; but when men in his company asked his business he
commonly gave it as bank clerk—had he told the truth, that he did
no work, they would have been suspicious of him as a member of the
leisure class.
His platoon sergeant, Pop Donnelly, was a scraggly
“old soldier,” worn thin with drink. In the past he had spent
unnumbered weeks in the guard-house, but recently, thanks to the
drill-master famine, he had been elevated to his present pinnacle.
His complexion was full of shell-holes—it bore an unmistakable
resemblance to those aerial photographs of “the battle-field at
Blank.” Once a week he got drunk down-town on white liquor,
returned quietly to camp and collapsed upon his bunk, joining the
company at reveille looking more than ever like a white mask of
death.
He nursed the astounding delusion that he was
astutely “slipping it over” on the government—he had spent eighteen
years in its service at a minute wage, and he was soon to retire
(here he usually winked) on the impressive income of fifty-five
dollars a month. He looked upon it as a gorgeous joke that he had
played upon the dozens who had bullied and scorned him since he was
a Georgia country boy of nineteen.
At present there were but two lieutenants—Hopkins
and the popular Kretching. The latter was considered a good fellow
and a fine leader, until a year later, when he disappeared with a
mess fund of eleven hundred dollars and, like so many leaders,
proved exceedingly difficult to follow.
Eventually there was Captain Dunning, god of this
brief but self-sufficing microcosm. He was a reserve officer,
nervous, energetic, and enthusiastic. This latter quality, indeed,
often took material form and was visible as fine froth in the
corners of his mouth. Like most executives he saw his charges
strictly from the front, and to his hopeful eyes his command seemed
just such an excellent unit as such an excellent war deserved. For
all his anxiety and absorption he was having the time of his
life.
Baptiste, the little Sicilian of the train, fell
foul of him the second week of drill. The captain had several times
ordered the men to be clean-shaven when they fell in each morning.
One day there was disclosed an alarming breech of this rule, surely
a case of Teutonic connivance—during the night four men had grown
hair upon their faces. The fact that three of the four understood a
minimum of English made a practical object-lesson only the more
necessary, so Captain Dunning resolutely sent a volunteer barber
back to the company street for a razor. Whereupon for the safety of
democracy a half-ounce of hair was scraped dry from the cheeks of
three Italians and one Pole.
Outside the world of the company there appeared,
from time to time, the colonel, a heavy man with snarling teeth,
who circumnavigated the battalion drill-field upon a handsome black
horse. He was a West Pointer, and, mimetically, a gentleman. He had
a dowdy wife and a dowdy mind, and spent much of his time in town
taking advantage of the army’s lately exalted social position. Last
of all was the general, who traversed the roads of the camp
preceded by his flag—a figure so austere, so removed, so
magnificent, as to be scarcely comprehensible.
December. Cool winds at night now, and damp,
chilly mornings on the drill-grounds. As the heat faded, Anthony
found himself increasingly glad to be alive. Renewed strangely
through his body, he worried little and existed in the present with
a sort of animal content. It was not that Gloria or the life that
Gloria represented was less often in his thoughts—it was simply
that she became, day by day, less real, less vivid. For a week they
had corresponded passionately, almost hysterically—then by an
unwritten agreement they had ceased to write more than twice, and
then once, a week. She was bored, she said; if his brigade was to
be there a long time she was coming down to join him. Mr. Haight
was going to be able to submit a stronger brief than he had
expected, but doubted that the appealed case would come up until
late spring. Muriel was in the city doing Red Cross work, and they
went out together rather often. What would Anthony think if
she went into the Red Cross? Trouble was she had heard that
she might have to bathe negroes in alcohol, and after that she
hadn’t felt so patriotic. The city was full of soldiers and she’d
seen a lot of boys she hadn’t laid eyes on for years....
Anthony did not want her to come South. He told
himself that this was for many reasons—he needed a rest from her
and she from him. She would be bored beyond measure in town, and
she would be able to see Anthony for only a few hours each day. But
in his heart he feared that it was because he was attracted to
Dorothy. As a matter of fact he lived in terror that Gloria should
learn by some chance or intention of the relation he had formed. By
the end of a fortnight the entanglement began to give him moments
of misery at his own faithlessness. Nevertheless, as each day ended
he was unable to withstand the lure that would draw him
irresistibly out of his tent and over to the telephone at the
Y.M.C.A.
“Dot.”
“Yes?”
“I may be able to get in to-night.”
“I’m so glad.”
“Do you want to listen to my splendid eloquence for
a few starry hours?”
“Oh, you funny—” For an instant he had a memory of
five years before—of Geraldine. Then———
“I’ll arrive about eight.”
At seven he would be in a jitney bound for the
city, where hundreds of little Southern girls were waiting on
moonlit porches for their lovers. He would be excited already for
her warm retarded kisses, for the amazed quietude of the glances
she gave him—glances nearer to worship than any he had ever
inspired. Gloria and he had been equals, giving without thought of
thanks or obligation. To this girl his very caresses were an
inestimable boon. Crying quietly she had confessed to him that he
was not the first man in her life; there had been one other—he
gathered that the affair had no sooner commenced than it had been
over.
Indeed, so far as she was concerned, she spoke the
truth. She had forgotten the clerk, the naval officer, the
clothier’s son, forgotten her vividness of emotion, which is true
forgetting. She knew that in some opaque and shadowy existence some
one had taken her—it was as though it had occurred in sleep.
Almost every night Anthony came to town. It was too
cool now for the porch, so her mother surrendered to them the tiny
sitting-room, with its dozens of cheaply framed chromos, its yard
upon yard of decorative fringe, and its thick atmosphere of several
decades in the proximity of the kitchen. They would build a
fire—then, happily, inexhaustibly, she would go about the business
of love. Each evening at ten she would walk with him to the door,
her black hair in disarray, her face pale without cosmetics, paler
still under the whiteness of the moon. As a rule it would be bright
and silver outside; now and then there was a slow warm rain, too
indolent, almost, to reach the ground.
“Say you love me,” she would whisper.
“Why, of course, you sweet baby.”
“Am I a baby?” This almost wistfully.
“Just a little baby.”
She knew vaguely of Gloria. It gave her pain to
think of it, so she imagined her to be haughty and proud and cold.
She had decided that Gloria must be older than Anthony, and that
there was no love between husband and wife. Sometimes she let
herself dream that after the war Anthony would get a divorce and
they would be married—but she never mentioned this to Anthony, she
scarcely knew why. She shared his company’s idea that he was a sort
of bank clerk—she thought that he was respectable and poor. She
would say:
“If I had some money, darlin‘, I’d give ev’y bit of
it to you.... I’d like to have about fifty thousand dollars.”
“I suppose that’d be plenty,” agreed Anthony.
—In her letter that day Gloria had written: “I
suppose if we could settle for a million it would be better to tell
Mr. Haight to go ahead and settle. But it’d seem a pity....”
... “We could have an automobile,” exclaimed Dot in
a final burst of triumph.
An Impressive Occasion
Captain Dunning prided himself on being a great
reader of character. Half an hour after meeting a man he was
accustomed to place him in one of a number of astonishing
categories—fine man, good man, smart fellow, theorizer, poet, and
“worthless.” One day early in February he caused Anthony to be
summoned to his presence in the orderly tent.
“Patch,” he said sententiously, “I’ve had my eye on
you for several weeks.”
Anthony stood erect and motionless.
“And I think you’ve got the makings of a good
soldier.”
He waited for the warm glow, which this would
naturally arouse, to cool—and then continued:
“This is no child’s play,” he said, narrowing his
brows.
Anthony agreed with a melancholy “No, sir.”
“It’s a man’s game—and we need leaders.” Then the
climax, swift, sure, and electric: “Patch, I’m going to make you a
corporal.”
At this point Anthony should have staggered
slightly backward, overwhelmed. He was to be one of the quarter
million selected for that consummate trust. He was going to be able
to shout the technical phrase, “Follow me!” to seven other
frightened men.
“You seem to be a man of some education,” said
Captain Dunning.
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s good, that’s good. Education’s a great
thing, but don’t let it go to your head. Keep on the way you’re
doing and you’ll be a good soldier.”
With these parting words lingering in his ears,
Corporal Patch saluted, executed a right about face, and left the
tent.
Though the conversation amused Anthony, it did
generate the idea that life would be more amusing as a sergeant or,
should he find a less-exacting medical examiner, as an officer. He
was little interested in the work, which seemed to belie the army’s
boasted gallantry. At the inspections one did not dress up to look
well, one dressed up to keep from looking badly.
But as winter wore away—the short, snowless winter
marked by damp nights and cool, rainy days—he marvelled at how
quickly the system had grasped him. He was a soldier—all who were
not soldiers were civilians. The world was divided primarily into
those two classifications.
It occurred to him that all strongly accentuated
classes, such as the military, divided men into two kinds: their
own kind—and those without. To the clergyman there were clergy and
laity, to the Catholic there were Catholics and non-Catholics, to
the negro there were blacks and whites, to the prisoner there were
the imprisoned and the free, and to the sick man there were the
sick and the well.... So, without thinking of it once in his
lifetime, he had been a civilian, a layman, a non-Catholic, a
Gentile, white, free, and well....
As the American troops were poured into the French
and British trenches he began to find the names of many Harvard men
among the casualties recorded in the Army and Navy Journal. But for
all the sweat and blood the situation appeared unchanged, and he
saw no prospect of the war’s ending in the perceptible future. In
the old chronicles the right wing of one army always defeated the
left wing of the other, the left wing being, meanwhile, vanquished
by the enemy’s right. After that the mercenaries fled. It had been
so simple, in those days, almost as if prearranged....
Gloria wrote that she was reading a great deal.
What a mess they had made of their affairs, she said. She had so
little to do now that she spent her time imagining how differently
things might have turned out. Her whole environment appeared
insecure—and a few years back she had seemed to hold all the
strings in her own little hand....
In June her letters grew hurried and less frequent.
She suddenly ceased to write about coming South.
Defeat
March in the country around was rare with jasmine
and jonquils and patches of violets in the warming grass. Afterward
he remembered especially one afternoon of such a fresh and magic
glamour that as he stood in the rifle-pit marking targets he
recited “Atalanta in Calydon” t to an
uncomprehending Pole, his voice mingling with the rip, sing, and
splatter of the bullets overhead.
“When the hounds of spring ...”
Spang!
“Are on winter’s traces ...”
Whirr-r-r-r! ...
“The mother of months ...”
“Hey! Come to! Mark three-e-e! ...”
In town the streets were in a sleepy dream again,
and together Anthony and Dot idled in their own tracks of the
previous autumn until he began to feel a drowsy attachment for this
South—a South, it seemed, more of Algiers than of Italy, with faded
aspirations pointing back over innumerable generations to some
warm, primitive Nirvana, without hope or care. Here there was an
inflection of cordiality, of comprehension, in every voice. “Life
plays the same lovely and agonizing joke on all of us,” they seemed
to say in their plaintive pleasant cadence, in the rising
inflection terminating on an unresolved minor.
He liked his barber-shop, where he was “Hi,
corporal!” to a pale, emaciated young man, who shaved him and
pushed a cool vibrating machine endlessly over his insatiable head.
He liked “Johnston’s Gardens” where they danced, where a tragic
negro made yearning, aching music on a saxophone until the garish
hall became an enchanted jungle of barbaric rhythms and smoky
laughter, where to forget the uneventful passage of time upon
Dorothy’s soft sighs and tender whisperings was the consummation of
all aspiration, of all content.
There was an undertone of sadness in her character,
a conscious evasion of all except the pleasurable minutiæ of life.
Her violet eyes would remain for hours apparently insensate as,
thoughtless and reckless, she basked like a cat in the sun. He
wondered what the tired, spiritless mother thought of them, and
whether in her moments of uttermost cynicism she ever guessed at
their relationship.
On Sunday afternoons they walked along the
countryside, resting at intervals on the dry moss in the out-skirts
of a wood. Here the birds had gathered and the clusters of violets
and white dog-wood; here the hoar trees shone crystalline and cool,
oblivious to the intoxicating heat that waited outside; here he
would talk, intermittently, in a sleepy monologue, in a
conversation of no significance, of no replies.
July came scorching down. Captain Dunning was
ordered to detail one of his men to learn blacksmithing. The
regiment was filling up to war strength, and he needed most of his
veterans for drill-masters, so he selected the little Italian,
Baptiste, whom he could most easily spare. Little Baptiste had
never had anything to do with horses. His fear made matters worse.
He reappeared in the orderly room one day and told Captain Dunning
that he wanted to die if he couldn’t be relieved. The horses kicked
at him, he said; he was no good at the work. Finally he fell on his
knees and besought Captain Dunning, in a mixture of broken English
and scriptural Italian, to get him out of it. He had not slept for
three days; monstrous stallions reared and cavorted through his
dreams.
Captain Dunning reproved the company clerk (who had
burst out laughing), and told Baptiste he would do what he could.
But when he thought it over he decided that he couldn’t spare a
better man. Little Baptiste went from bad to worse. The horses
seemed to divine his fear and take every advantage of it. Two weeks
later a great black mare crushed his skull in with her hoofs while
he was trying to lead her from her stall.
![005](/epubstore/F/F-S-Fitzgerald/The-beautiful-and-damned/OEBPS/bano_9781411431829_oeb_005_r1.jpg)
In mid-July came rumors, and then orders, that
concerned a change of camp. The brigade was to move to an empty
cantonment, a hundred miles farther south, there to be expanded
into a division. At first the men thought they were departing for
the trenches, and all evening little groups jabbered in the company
street, shouting to each other in swaggering exclamations:
“Su-u-ure we are!” When the truth leaked out, it was rejected
indignantly as a blind to conceal their real destination. They
revelled in their own importance. That night they told their girls
in town that they were “going to get the Germans.” Anthony
circulated for a while among the groups—then, stopping a jitney,
rode down to tell Dot that he was going away.
She was waiting on the dark veranda in a cheap
white dress that accentuated the youth and softness of her
face.
“Oh,” she whispered, “I’ve wanted you so, honey.
All this day.”
“I have something to tell you.”
She drew him down beside her on the swinging seat,
not noticing his ominous tone.
“Tell me.”
“We’re leaving next week.”
Her arms seeking his shoulders remained poised upon
the dark air, her chin tipped up. When she spoke the softness was
gone from her voice.
“Leaving for France?”
“No. Less luck than that. Leaving for some darn
camp in Mississippi.”
She shut her eyes and he could see that the lids
were trembling.
“Dear little Dot, life is so damned hard.”
She was crying upon his shoulder.
“So damned hard, so damned hard,” he repeated
aimlessly; “it just hurts people and hurts people, until finally it
hurts them so that they can’t be hurt ever any more. That’s the
last and worst thing it does.”
Frantic, wild with anguish, she strained him to her
breast.
“Oh, God!” she whispered brokenly, “you can’t go
way from me. I’d die.”
He was finding it impossible to pass off his
departure as a common, impersonal blow. He was too near to her to
do more than repeat “Poor little Dot. Poor little Dot.”
“And then what?” she demanded wearily.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re my whole life, that’s all. I’d die for you
right now if you said so. I’d get a knife and kill myself. You
can’t leave me here.”
Her tone frightened him.
“These things happen,” he said evenly.
“Then I’m going with you.” Tears were streaming
down her cheeks. Her mouth was trembling in an ecstasy of grief and
fear.
“Sweet,” he muttered sentimentally, “sweet little
girl. Don’t you see we’d just be putting off what’s bound to
happen? I’ll be going to France in a few months—”
She leaned away from him and clinching her fists
lifted her face toward the sky.
“I want to die,” she said, as if moulding each word
carefully in her heart.
“Dot,” he whispered uncomfortably, “you’ll forget.
Things are sweeter when they’re lost. I know—because once I wanted
something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly,
Dot. And when I got it it turned to dust in my hands.”
“All right.”
Absorbed in himself, he continued:
“I’ve often thought that if I hadn’t got what I
wanted things might have been different with me. I might have found
something in my mind and enjoyed putting it in circulation. I might
have been content with the work of it, and had some sweet vanity
out of the success. I suppose that at one time I could have had
anything I wanted, within reason, but that was the only thing I
ever wanted with any fervor. God! And that taught me you can’t have
anything, you can’t have anything at all. Because
desire just cheats you. It’s like a sunbeam skipping here and there
about a room. It stops and gilds some inconsequential object, and
we poor fools try to grasp it—but when we do the sunbeam moves on
to something else, and you’ve got the inconsequential part, but the
glitter that made you want it is gone—” He broke off uneasily. She
had risen and was standing, dry-eyed, picking little leaves from a
dark vine.
“Dot—”
“Go way,” she said coldly.
“What? Why?”
“I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have
for me you’d better go.”
“Why, Dot—”
“What’s death to me is just a lot of words to you.
You put ’em together so pretty.”
“I’m sorry. I was talking about you, Dot.”
“Go way from here.”
He approached her with arms outstretched, but she
held him away.
“You don’t want me to go with you,” she said
evenly; “maybe you’re going to meet that—that girl—” She could not
bring herself to say wife. “How do I know? Well, then, I reckon
you’re not my fellow any more. So go way.”
For a moment, while conflicting warnings and
desires prompted Anthony, it seemed one of those rare times when he
would take a step prompted from within. He hesitated. Then a wave
of weariness broke against him. It was too late—everything was too
late. For years now he had dreamed the world away, basing his
decisions upon emotions unstable as water. The little girl in the
white dress dominated him, as she approached beauty in the hard
symmetry of her desire. The fire blazing in her dark and injured
heart seemed to glow around her like a flame. With some profound
and uncharted pride she had made herself remote and so achieved her
purpose.
“I didn’t—mean to seem so callous, Dot.”
“It don’t matter.”
The fire rolled over Anthony. Something wrenched at
his bowels, and he stood there helpless and beaten.
“Come with me, Dot—little loving Dot. Oh, come with
me. I couldn’t leave you now—”
With a sob she wound her arms around him and let
him support her weight while the moon, at its perennial labor of
covering the bad complexion of the world, showered its illicit
honey over the drowsy street.
The Catastrophe
Early September in Camp Boone, Mississippi. The
darkness, alive with insects, beat in upon the mosquito-netting,
beneath the shelter of which Anthony was trying to write a letter.
An intermittent chatter over a poker game was going on in the next
tent, and outside a man was strolling up the company street singing
a current bit of doggerel about “K-K-K-Katy.”
With an effort Anthony hoisted himself to his elbow
and, pencil in hand, looked down at his blank sheet of paper. Then,
omitting any heading, he began:
I can’t imagine what the matter is, Gloria. I
haven’t had a line from you for two weeks and it’s only natural to
be worried—
He threw this away with a disturbed grunt and began
again:
I don’t know what to think, Gloria. Your last
letter, short, cold, without a word of affection or even a decent
account of what you’ve been doing, came two weeks ago. It’s only
natural that I should wonder. If your love for me isn’t absolutely
dead it seems that you’d at least keep me from worry——
Again he crumpled the page and tossed it angrily
through a tear in the tent wall, realizing simultaneously that he
would have to pick it up in the morning. He felt disinclined to try
again. He could get no warmth into the lines—only a persistent
jealousy and suspicion. Since midsummer these discrepancies in
Gloria’s correspondence had grown more and more noticeable. At
first he had scarcely perceived them. He was so inured to the
perfunctory “dearest” and “darlings” scattered through her letters
that he was oblivious to their presence or absence. But in this
last fortnight he had become increasingly aware that there was
something amiss.
He had sent her a night-letter saying that he had
passed his examinations for an officers’ training-camp, and
expected to leave for Georgia shortly. She had not answered. He had
wired again—when he received no word he imagined that she might be
out of town. But it occurred and recurred to him that she was not
out of town, and a series of distraught imaginings began to plague
him. Supposing Gloria, bored and restless, had found some one, even
as he had. The thought terrified him with its possibility—it was
chiefly because he had been so sure of her personal integrity that
he had considered her so sparingly during the year. And now, as a
doubt was born, the old angers, the rages of possession, swarmed
back a thousandfold. What more natural than that she should be in
love again?
He remembered the Gloria who promised that should
she ever want anything, she would take it, insisting that since she
would act entirely for her own satisfaction she could go through
such an affair unsmirched—it was only the effect on a person’s mind
that counted, anyhow, she said, and her reaction would be the
masculine one, of satiation and faint dislike.
But that had been when they were first married.
Later, with the discovery that she could be jealous of Anthony, she
had, outwardly at least, changed her mind. There were no other men
in the world for her. This he had known only too surely. Perceiving
that a certain fastidiousness would restrain her, he had grown lax
in preserving the completeness of her love—which, after all, was
the keystone of the entire structure.
Meanwhile all through the summer he had been
maintaining Dot in a boarding-house down-town. To do this it had
been necessary to write to his broker for money. Dot had covered
her journey south by leaving her house a day before the brigade
broke camp, informing her mother in a note that she had gone to New
York. On the evening following Anthony had called as though to see
her. Mrs. Raycroft was in a state of collapse and there was a
policeman in the parlor. A questionnaire had ensued, from which
Anthony had extricated himself with some difficulty.
In September, with his suspicions of Gloria, the
company of Dot had become tedious, then almost intolerable. He was
nervous and irritable from lack of sleep; his heart was sick and
afraid. Three days ago he had gone to Captain Dunning and asked for
a furlough, only to be met with benignant procrastination. The
division was starting overseas, while Anthony was going to an
officers’ training-camp; what furloughs could be given must go to
the men who were leaving the country.
Upon this refusal Anthony had started to the
telegraph office intending to wire Gloria to come South—he reached
the door and receded despairingly, seeing the utter
impracticability of such a move. Then he had spent the evening
quarrelling irritably with Dot, and returned to camp morose and
angry with the world. There had been a disagreeable scene, in the
midst of which he had precipitately departed. What was to be done
with her did not seem to concern him vitally at present—he was
completely absorbed in the disheartening silence of his
wife....
The flap of the tent made a sudden triangle back
upon itself, and a dark head appeared against the night.
“Sergeant Patch?” The accent was Italian, and
Anthony saw by the belt that the man was a headquarters
orderly.
“Want me?”
“Lady call up headquarters ten minutes ago. Say she
have speak with you. Ver’ important.”
Anthony swept aside the mosquito-netting and stood
up. It might be a wire from Gloria telephoned over.
“She say to get you. She call again ten
o’clock.”
“All right, thanks.” He picked up his hat and in a
moment was striding beside the orderly through the hot, almost
suffocating, darkness. Over in the headquarters shack he saluted a
dozing night-service officer.
“Sit down and wait,” suggested the lieutenant
nonchalantly. “Girl seemed awful anxious to speak to you.”
Anthony’s hopes fell away.
“Thank you very much, sir.” And as the phone
squeaked on the side-wall he knew who was calling.
“This is Dot,” came an unsteady voice, “I’ve got to
see you.”
“Dot, I told you I couldn’t get down for several
days.”
“I’ve got to see you to-night. It’s
important.”
“It’s too late,” he said coldly; “it’s ten o’clock,
and I have to be in camp at eleven.”
“All right.” There was so much wretchedness
compressed into the two words that Anthony felt a measure of
compunction.
“What’s the matter?”
“I want to tell you good-by.”
“Oh, don’t be a little idiot!” he exclaimed. But
his spirits rose. What luck if she should leave town this very
night! What a burden from his soul. But he said: “You can’t
possibly leave before tomorrow.”
Out of the corner of his eye he saw the
night-service officer regarding him quizzically. Then, startlingly,
came Dot’s next words:
“I don’t mean ‘leave’ that way.”
Anthony’s hand clutched the receiver fiercely. He
felt his nerves turning cold as if the heat was leaving his
body.
“What?”
Then quickly in a wild broken voice he heard:
“Good-by—oh, good-by!”
Cul-lup! She had hung up the receiver. With
a sound that was half a gasp, half a cry, Anthony hurried from the
headquarters building. Outside, under the stars that dripped like
silver tassels through the trees of the little grove, he stood
motionless, hesitating. Had she meant to kill herself—oh, the
little fool! He was filled with bitter hate toward her. In this
dénouement he found it impossible to realize that he had ever begun
such an entanglement, such a mess, a sordid mélange of worry and
pain.
He found himself walking slowly away, repeating
over and over that it was futile to worry. He had best go back to
his tent and sleep. He needed sleep. God! Would he ever sleep
again? His mind was in a vast clamor and confusion; as he reached
the road he turned around in a panic and began running, not toward
his company but away from it. Men were returning now—he could find
a taxicab. After a minute two yellow eyes appeared around a bend.
Desperately he ran toward them.
“Jitney! Jitney!” ... It was an empty Ford.... “I
want to go to town.”
“Cost you a dollar.”
“All, right. If you’ll just hurry—”
After an interminable time he ran up the steps of a
dark ramshackle little house, and through the door, almost knocking
over an immense negress who was walking, candle in hand, along the
hall.
“Where’s my wife?” he cried wildly.
“She gone to bed.”
Up the stairs three at a time, down the creaking
passage. The room was dark and silent, and with trembling fingers
he struck a match. Two wide eyes looked up at him from a wretched
ball of clothes on the bed.
“Ah, I knew you’d come,” she murmured
brokenly.
Anthony grew cold with anger.
“So it was just a plan to get me down here, get me
in trouble!” he said. “God damn it, you’ve shouted ‘wolf’ once too
often!”
She regarded him pitifully.
“I had to see you. I couldn’t have lived. Oh, I had
to see you—”
He sat down on the side of the bed and slowly shook
his head.
“You’re no good,” he said decisively, talking
unconsciously as Gloria might have talked to him. “This sort of
thing isn’t fair to me, you know.”
“Come closer.” Whatever he might say Dot was happy
now. He cared for her. She had brought him to her side.
“Oh, God,” said Anthony hopelessly. As weariness
rolled along its inevitable wave his anger subsided, receded,
vanished. He collapsed suddenly, fell sobbing beside her on the
bed.
“Oh, my darling,” she begged him, “don’t cry! Oh,
don’t cry!”
She took his head upon her breast and soothed him,
mingled her happy tears with the bitterness of his. Her hand played
gently with his dark hair.
“I’m such a little fool,” she murmured brokenly,
“but I love you, and when you’re cold to me it seems as if it isn’t
worth while to go on livin’.”
After all, this was peace—the quiet room with the
mingled scent of women’s powder and perfume, Dot’s hand soft as a
warm wind upon his hair, the rise and fall of her bosom as she took
breath—for a moment it was as though it were Gloria there, as
though he were at rest in some sweeter and safer home than he had
ever known.
An hour passed. A clock began to chime in the hall.
He jumped to his feet and looked at the phosphorescent hands of his
wrist-watch. It was twelve o’clock.
He had trouble in finding a taxi that would take
him out at that hour. As he urged the driver faster along the road
he speculated on the best method of entering camp. He had been late
several times recently, and he knew that were he caught again his
name would probably be stricken from the list of officer
candidates. He wondered if he had not better dismiss the taxi and
take a chance on passing the sentry in the dark. Still, officers
often rode past the sentries after midnight....
“Halt!” The monosyllable came from the yellow glare
that the headlights dropped upon the changing road. The taxi-driver
threw out his clutch and a sentry walked up, carrying his rifle at
the port. With him, by an ill chance, was the officer of the
guard.
“Out late, sergeant.”
“Yes, sir. Got delayed.”
“Too bad. Have to take your name.”
As the officer waited, note-book and pencil in
hand, something not fully intended crowded to Anthony’s lips,
something born of panic, of muddle, of despair.
“Sergeant R. A. Foley,” he answered
breathlessly.
“And the outfit?”
“Company Q, Eighty-third Infantry.”
“All right. You’ll have to walk from here,
sergeant.”
Anthony saluted, quickly paid his taxi-driver, and
set off for a run toward the regiment he had named. When he was out
of sight he changed his course, and with his heart beating wildly,
hurried to his company, feeling that he had made a fatal error of
judgment.
Two days later the officer who had been in command
of the guard recognized him in a barber-shop down-town. In charge
of a military policeman he was taken back to the camp, where he was
reduced to the ranks without trial, and confined for a month to the
limits of his company street.
With this blow a spell of utter depression overtook
him, and within a week he was again caught down-town, wandering
around in a drunken daze, with a pint of bootleg whiskey in his hip
pocket. It was because of a sort of craziness in his behavior at
the trial that his sentence to the guard-house was for only three
weeks.
Nightmare
Early in his confinement the conviction took root
in him that he was going mad. It was as though there were a
quantity of dark yet vivid personalities in his mind, some of them
familiar, some of them strange and terrible, held in check by a
little monitor, who sat aloft somewhere and looked on. The thing
that worried him was that the monitor was sick, and holding out
with difficulty. Should he give up, should he falter for a moment,
out would rush these intolerable things—only Anthony could know
what a state of blackness there would be if the worst of him could
roam his consciousness unchecked.
The heat of the day had changed, somehow, until it
was a burnished darkness crushing down upon a devastated land. Over
his head the blue circles of ominous uncharted suns, of unnumbered
centres of fire, revolved interminably before his eyes as though he
were lying constantly exposed to the hot light and in a state of
feverish coma. At seven in the morning something phantasmal,
something almost absurdly unreal that he knew was his mortal body,
went out with seven other prisoners and two guards to work on the
camp roads. One day they loaded and unloaded quantities of gravel,
spread it, raked it—the next day they worked with huge barrels of
red-hot tar, flooding the gravel with black, shining pools of
molten heat. At night, locked up in the guard-house, he would lie
without thought, without courage to compass thought, staring at the
irregular beams of the ceiling overhead until about three o’clock,
when he would slip into a broken, troubled sleep.
During the work hours he labored with uneasy haste,
attempting, as the day bore toward the sultry Mississippi sunset,
to tire himself physically so that in the evening he might sleep
deeply from utter exhaustion.... Then one afternoon in the second
week he had a feeling that two eyes were watching him from a place
a few feet beyond one of the guards. This aroused him to a sort of
terror. He turned his back on the eyes and shovelled feverishly,
until it became necessary for him to face about and go for more
gravel. Then they entered his vision again, and his already taut
nerves tightened up to the breaking-point. The eyes were leering at
him. Out of a hot silence he heard his name called in a tragic
voice, and the earth tipped absurdly back and forth to a babel of
shouting and confusion.
When next he became conscious he was back in the
guard-house, and the other prisoners were throwing him curious
glances. The eyes returned no more. It was many days before he
realized that the voice must have been Dot’s, that she had called
out to him and made some sort of disturbance. He decided this just
previous to the expiration of his sentence, when the cloud that
oppressed him had lifted, leaving him in a deep, dispirited
lethargy. As the conscious mediator, the monitor who kept that
fearsome menage of horror, grew stronger, Anthony became physically
weaker. He was scarcely able to get through the two days of toil,
and when he was released, one rainy afternoon, and returned to his
company, he reached his tent only to fall into a heavy doze, from
which he awoke before dawn, aching and unrefreshed. Beside his cot
were two letters that had been awaiting him in the orderly tent for
some time. The first was from Gloria; it was short and cool:
The case is coming to trial late in November. Can
you possibly get leave?
I’ve tried to write you again and again but it just
seems to make things worse. I want to see you about several
matters, but you know that you have once prevented me from coming
and I am disinclined to try again. In view of a number of things it
seems necessary that we have a conference. I’m very glad about your
appointment.
GLORIA
He was too tired to try to understand—or to care.
Her phrases, her intentions, were all very far away in an
incomprehensible past. At the second letter he scarcely glanced; it
was from Dot—an incoherent, tear-swollen scrawl, a flood of
protest, endearment, and grief. After a page he let it slip from
his inert hand and drowsed back into a nebulous hinterland of his
own. At drill-call he awoke with a high fever and fainted when he
tried to leave his tent—at noon he was sent to the base hospital
with influenza.
He was aware that this sickness was providential.
It saved him from a hysterical relapse—and he recovered in time to
entrain on a damp November day for New York, and for the
interminable massacre beyond.
When the regiment reached Camp Mills, Long Island,
Anthony’s single idea was to get into the city and see Gloria as
soon as possible. It was now evident that an armistice would be
signed within the week, but rumor had it that in any case troops
would continue to be shipped to France until the last moment.
Anthony was appalled at the notion of the long voyage, of a tedious
debarkation at a French port, and of being kept abroad for a year,
possibly, to replace the troops who had seen actual fighting.
His intention had been to obtain a two-day
furlough, but Camp Mills proved to be under a strict influenza
quarantine—it was impossible for even an officer to leave except on
official business. For a private it was out of the question.
The camp itself was a dreary muddle, cold,
wind-swept, and filthy, with the accumulated dirt incident to the
passage through of many divisions. Their train came in at seven one
night, and they waited in line until one while a military tangle
was straightened out somewhere ahead. Officers ran up and down
ceaselessly, calling orders and making a great uproar. It turned
out that the trouble was due to the colonel, who was in a righteous
temper because he was a West Pointer, and the war was going to stop
before he could get overseas. Had the militant governments realized
the number of broken hearts among the older West Pointers during
that week, they would indubitably have prolonged the slaughter
another month. The thing was pitiable!
Gazing out at the bleak expanse of tents extending
for miles over a trodden welter of slush and snow, Anthony saw the
impracticability of trudging to a telephone that night. He would
call her at the first opportunity in the morning.
Aroused in the chill and bitter dawn he stood at
reveille and listened to a passionate harangue from Captain
Dunning:
“You men may think the war is over. Well, let me
tell you, it isn’t! Those fellows aren’t going to sign the
armistice. It’s another trick, and we’d be crazy to let anything
slacken up here in the company, because, let me tell you, we’re
going to sail from here within a week, and when we do we’re going
to see some real fighting.” He paused that they might get the full
effect of his pronouncement. And then: “If you think the war’s
over, just talk to any one who’s been in it and see if they think
the Germans are all in. They don’t. Nobody does. I’ve talked to the
people that know, and they say there’ll be, anyways, a year longer
of war. They don’t think it’s over. So you men better not get any
foolish ideas that it is.”
Doubly stressing this final admonition, he ordered
the company dismissed.
At noon Anthony set off at a run for the nearest
canteen telephone. As he approached what corresponded to the
down-town of the camp, he noticed that many other soldiers were
running also, that a man near him had suddenly leaped into the air
and clicked his heels together. The tendency to run became general,
and from little excited groups here and there came the sounds of
cheering. He stopped and listened—over the cold country whistles
were blowing and the chimes of the Garden City churches broke
suddenly into reverberatory sound.
Anthony began to run again. The cries were clear
and distinct now as they rose with clouds of frosted breath into
the chilly air:
“Germany’s surrendered! Germany’s
surrendered!”
The False Armistice
That evening in the opaque gloom of six o’clock
Anthony slipped between two freight-cars, and once over the
railroad, followed the track along to Garden City, where he caught
an electric train for New York. He stood some chance of
apprehension—he knew that the military police were often sent
through the cars to ask for passes,3 but he
imagined that tonight the vigilance would be relaxed. But, in any
event, he would have tried to slip through, for he had been unable
to locate Gloria by telephone, and another day of suspense would
have been intolerable.
After inexplicable stops and waits that reminded
him of the night he had left New York, over a year before, they
drew into the Pennsylvania Station, and he followed the familiar
way to the taxi-stand, finding it grotesque and oddly stimulating
to give his own address.
Broadway was a riot of light, thronged as he had
never seen it with a carnival crowd which swept its glittering way
through scraps of paper, piled ankle-deep on the sidewalks. Here
and there, elevated upon benches and boxes, soldiers addressed the
heedless mass, each face in which was clear cut and distinct under
the white glare overhead. Anthony picked out half a dozen figures—a
drunken sailor, tipped backward and supported by two other gobs,
was waving his hat and emitting a wild series of roars; a wounded
soldier, crutch in hand, was borne along in an eddy on the
shoulders of some shrieking civilians; a dark-haired girl sat
cross-legged and meditative on top of a parked taxicab. Here surely
the victory had come in time, the climax had been scheduled with
the uttermost celestial foresight. The great rich nation had made
triumphant war, suffered enough for poignancy but not enough for
bitterness—hence the carnival, the feasting, the triumph. Under
these bright lights glittered the faces of peoples whose glory had
long since passed away, whose very civilizations were dead—men
whose ancestors had heard the news of victory in Babylon, in
Nineveh, in Bagdad, in Tyre, a hundred generations before; men
whose ancestors had seen a flower-decked, slave-adorned cortege
drift with its wake of captives down the avenues of Imperial
Rome....
Past the Rialto, the glittering front of the Astor,
the jewelled magnificence of Times Square ... a gorgeous alley of
incandescence ahead.... Then—was it years later?—he was paying the
taxi-driver in front of a white building on Fifty-seventh Street.
He was in the hall—ah, there was the negro boy from Martinique,
lazy, indolent, unchanged.
“Is Mrs. Patch in?”
“I have just came on, sah,” the man announced with
his incongruous British accent.
“Take me up—”
Then the slow drone of the elevator, the three
steps to the door, which swung open at the impetus of his
knock.
“Gloria!” His voice was trembling. No answer. A
faint string of smoke was rising from a cigarette-tray—a number of
Vanity Fair sat astraddle on the table.
“Gloria!”
He ran into the bedroom, the bath. She was not
there. A negligee of robin’s-egg blue laid out upon the bed
diffused a faint perfume, illusive and familiar. On a chair were a
pair of stockings and a street dress; an open powder-box yawned
upon the bureau. She must just have gone out.
The telephone rang abruptly and he started—answered
it with all the sensations of an impostor.
“Hello. Is Mrs. Patch there?”
“No, I’m looking for her myself. Who is
this?”
“This is Mr. Crawford.”
“This is Mr. Patch speaking. I’ve just arrived
unexpectedly, and I don’t know where to find her.”
“Oh.” Mr. Crawford sounded a bit taken aback. “Why,
I imagine she’s at the Armistice Ball. I know she intended going,
but I didn’t think she’d leave so early.”
“Where’s the Armistice Ball?”
“At the Astor.”
“Thanks.”
Anthony hung up sharply and rose. Who was Mr.
Crawford? And who was it that was taking her to the ball? How long
had this been going on? All these questions asked and answered
themselves a dozen times, a dozen ways. His very proximity to her
drove him half frantic.
In a frenzy of suspicion he rushed here and there
about the apartment, hunting for some sign of masculine occupation,
opening the bathroom cupboard, searching feverishly through the
bureau drawers. Then he found something that made him stop suddenly
and sit down on one of the twin beds, the corners of his mouth
drooping as though he were about to weep. There in a corner of her
drawer, tied with a frail blue ribbon, were all the letters and
telegrams he had written her during the year past. He was suffused
with happy and sentimental shame.
“I’m not fit to touch her,” he cried aloud to the
four walls. “I’m not fit to touch her little hand.”
Nevertheless, he went out to look for her.
In the Astor lobby he was engulfed immediately in a
crowd so thick as to make progress almost impossible. He asked the
direction of the ballroom from half a dozen people before he could
get a sober and intelligible answer. Eventually, after a last long
wait, he checked his military overcoat in the hall.
It was only nine but the dance was in full blast.
The panorama was incredible. Women, women everywhere—girls gay with
wine singing shrilly above the clamor of the dazzling
confetti-covered throng; girls set off by the uniforms of a dozen
nations; fat females collapsing without dignity upon the floor and
retaining self-respect by shouting “Hurraw for the Allies!”; three
women with white hair dancing hand in hand around a sailor, who
revolved in a dizzying spin upon the floor, clasping to his heart
an empty bottle of champagne.
Breathlessly Anthony scanned the dancers, scanned
the muddled lines trailing in single file in and out among the
tables, scanned the horn-blowing, kissing, coughing, laughing,
drinking parties under the great full-bosomed flags which leaned in
glowing color over the pageantry and the sound.
Then he saw Gloria. She was sitting at a table for
two directly across the room. Her dress was black, and above it her
animated face, tinted with the most glamourous rose, made, he
thought, a spot of poignant beauty on the room. His heart leaped as
though to a new music. He jostled his way toward her and called her
name just as the gray eyes looked up and found him. For that
instant as their bodies met and melted, the world, the revel, the
tumbling whimper of the music faded to an ecstatic monotone hushed
as a song of bees.
“Oh, my Gloria!” he cried.
Her kiss was a cool rill flowing from her
heart.