Clayton
[PAUL WRITES: After Adam's detonation, Clayton Theel goes back down for his Tauras, instead of running out to safety when he could've made it) and big, big boom.]
Joe and I talked just now, and here's what we're thinking in terms of finishing, because the deadline for getting this book to reviewers is fast-approaching:
Wednesday, 9/22: Paul, Jeff, Joe write and finish above scenes
Thursday, 9/23: All complete the last two scenes and finish novel
Friday, 9/24: Finalize all bonus content, and off to Jeff for his final review.
Saturday, 9/25: Jeff goes through book, incorporating any changes
Sunday, 9/26: Jeff goes through book, incorporating any changes
Monday, 9/27: Paul goes through book, incorporating any changes
Tuesday, 9/28: Paul goes through book, incorporating any changes
Wednesday, 9/29: Joe goes through book, incorporating any changes
Thursday, 9/30: Blake goes through book, incorporating any changes
Friday, 10/1: Blake goes through book, incorporating any changes
Saturday, 10/2: Joe formats book first thing...off to my proofreader
Sunday, 10/3: Return of proofed book (hopefully not too late), update any bonus content, make absolute last changes, etc.
Monday, 10/4: Joe sends the book to Rob Siders for Kindle formatting, I send the book in 3 formats in an email blast to the troops.
Sound okay? In particular, let me know if the proposed 2-day review periods for you, Jeff and Paul, will work with your schedules.
Blake
September 22, 2010
That timeline works for me.
Jeff
* * *
Strand Has No Shame. "Part of the clown. He tasted funny."
Paul
* * *
Heh heh. And if you look through all of my prior novels, most of which are horror/comedies, you will almost NEVER find that kind of joke. But it's very much a Joe Konrath type of joke, so I figured, what the hell? :)
Jeff
* * *
Clay and Alice is up.
As for my comb-through of the ms, I can do any days but Monday and Tuesday. So please switch me with someone. I can do the weekend before or Wed-Thur after.
Paul
* * *
Don't blame me for that one, Strand. It was all you. And I, for one, hang my head in sorrow at the depths you'll plumb for a cheap laugh. Shame on you, Mr. Strand. Shame shame shame.
Joe
* * *
Are you STILL practicing medicine, Paul? Isn't the board supposed to take your license away when you turn 90?
I kid because I love.
I can switch days with Paul.
Joe
* * *
I'm devastated. This was a serious, character-driven meditation on the horrors of modern medicine, until that unforgivable attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator of readers.
Blake
* * *
You guys DID notice that Joe added a "Talk about a half-assed injury!" joke to Paul's first section, right? :)
Jeff
* * *
I thought that was another one of your jokes.
Joe
* * *
Jeff - can you switch your manuscript review days with Paul? We only gave Joe 1 day to review. That would mean Paul reviews Sat./Sun, you review Monday/Tuesday.
Blake
* * *
Yep, absolutely.
Jeff
* * *
Re: Jenny scenes: Great stuff! But when Jenny asks Randall to bite her neck, we sort of stop being the anti-TWILIGHT.
Jeff
* * *
I think Randall needs to glow in that scene.
Joe
* * *
Want me to start writing a Shanna/Driscoll scene up to where the hospital blows up?
Paul
* * *
Let Jenny say, "This isn't a Stephanie Meyer book!"
Blake
* * *
Absolutely. We still need to work Shanna's quarantine issue out (If she's in Q she can't meet Mortimer)...do you kill Clayton in your scene, and did you like the idea of a painful but quick test to tell if Shanna has been infected, which keeps her out of Q?
Blake
* * *
I've never seen or read Twilight. Is there really a "bite me in order to stay alive" scene?
In Randall's case, he pushes her away, so it might not be similar. But then, if it were my husband, I'd want him to bite me.
Joe
* * *
Okay, Jeff brought this up, so here's an uncomfortable question...Jeff...have you read or seen TWILIGHT? Because if there actually is a bite me to stay alive scene in Twilight and we use it to make fun of TWILIGHT, well, that's awesome.
Blake
* * *
How's this?
I'm assuming Shanna's being quarantined because she shot off her mouth, revealing she knows too much.
The kids and baby (she has no idea whose it is) would be put in with her because they ARE being quarantined.
I don't see why the returned-to-human-form Mort can't appear at the door and take the baby and free Shanna. He's more than human now (who knows what powers he's got?), so he could pull this off.
Outside, Shanna notices the army clearing the parking lot, backing away from the hospital. She sees the army helicopter lowering something to the roof. Mort says it's a huge shaped charge and describes what it will do. (sterilize, etc.)
Shanna runs off in search of Driscoll to stop it but doesn't get ten feet before the hospital becomes a huge funeral pyre. Mort comforts her and tells Shanna to flee.
We can fiddle with this until everybody's happy, but at least it will give us a skeleton to clothe.
Paul
* * *
The whole concept of Twilight is that the mopey teenage girl wants the mopey ancient vampire to bite her to change her. I can't specifically remember if "bite me to stay alive" is in there, but that's a common resolution in paranormal romance.
Keep in mind that this is not a romantic Lugosi nibble. Randall has bloody fangs that have ripped right through his cheeks. She's not gonna offer him her neck.
Jeff
* * *
She offered him her arm. But if you guys vote it down, we can kill the scene.
Also, "Ha ha! Jeff saw Twilight!"
Joe
* * *
In the DRACULAS 4.1 I've got, she offers him her neck.
That moment (not the whole scene) is total paranormal romance. We could acknowledge that, but if we're trying for genuine emotion, that's not the time to be winking at the reader.
Jeff
* * *
It should be her hand or arm. And it probably isn't the right time to wink at the reader. I'll take a look during the rewrite.
Joe
* * *
Could Mort somehow be involved with the quarantine? Working for Driscoll somehow? Or is that too far-fetched?
Joe
* * *
Yeah, far-fetched. But if he's dressed in nice clean scrubs, he could look like he belongs and slip under the radar.
Paul
* * *
I had him do his metamorphosis in the laundry room for that very reason.
Joe
* * *
Okay. I'll start on it.
Paul
* * *
Okay. I'll dig in Saturday AM and flip it to Jeff Sunday night.
Paul
* * *
Re: Randall's Last Stand
Jeff 10.0 is up
* * *
My pass is going to be the "Mad Lib Edit", where I substitute every noun with "wiener."
Joe
* * *
That's the wurst idea I ever hoid!
Paul
* * *
You really mustard that one up.
Joe
* * *
Paul, don't succumb to his evil!!!
Jeff
* * *
But he's such a brat!
Paul
* * *
That was rather frank.
Joe
* * *
Blake and I are going to write DRACULAS II by ourselves.
Jeff
* * *
"Blake and I are going to write DRACULAS II by ourselves," he said, with relish.
Joe
* * *
Except it's going to be like a Spike Lee joint...DRACULAZ 2, BIOTCH
Blake
* * *
I quit. This had already gone furter than it should.
Paul
* * *
Really? You had a redhot streak going there...
Joe
* * *
Shanna's last name...I can't find one. I'll stick in a placeholder and change it if anyone remembers.
Paul
* * *
I'm pretty sure it was "Wiener."
Joe
* * *
Goddammit, that's what I'm putting.
Paul
* * *
Then let's change her first name to Anita.
Anita Wiener.
Joe
* * *
Randall 10.0...Great scene Jeff.
Love: They could take away his humanity, but not his fucking chainsaw.
I just put it into the manuscript.
Blake
* * *
Clay's death...rocks big time...love Alice fusing to his hand. I think we're all set to write the end tomorrow...Joe has about 100-300 words to write for Jenny and we're done. I've put your Clayton scene into the manuscript, Paul.
Blake
September 23, 2010
I've read what we've got so far. Very nice job, everyone.
I finished the Jenny scenes, and also added to everyone's rooftop scenes in order to make her character consistent throughout them. I wanted to have her focus be on Randall, and for Randall to know that she stayed for him. It's in Dracula 4.2
On the promotional front, people have downloaded almost 700 free teaser copies of Draculas. Also, I heard from the publisher of Blood Lite, and Paul and I should be able to use "A Sound of Blunder" in the extras without being sued.
We're at about 78,000 words, and we've written 70k of them in just five weeks. You guys are rock stars. It's crazy how quick and easy this was to write.
Paul, can you put an excerpt from one of your ebooks into your dropbox folder to use as an extra? Maybe THE KEEP, in sticking to the vampire theme. (and yes, I know Rasalom isn't a vampire.) MIDNIGHT MASS would work, too.
Jeff, you missed a question in the interview section.
The goal is to get this to the proofreader by next Monday, and the formatter before the end of the month.
Joe
* * *
BTW, if we do a sequel, we should call it "DRACULASES"
Joe
* * *
Not to bombard you guys with emails, but I had an idea for extras that's obvious.
I liked Clay's death scene, but I also dug the discussion we had about Clay surviving.
This is an ebook. So why not do both? As an extra, we could have an alternate ending, like they do on DVDs. We could even have more than one. Gimmicky, sure, but it would be fun for each of us to pen a different ending where different, outrageous things happen.
Also, remember Paul's scene where Shanna liked firing the gun? That deleted scene that could be used as an extra. There may be other scenes too...
Joe
* * *
Shanna and the new Mort in "end scenes." Feel free to play with this.
If we do a sequel, I think it will be far more interesting to have Clay's father turn Shanna into a new Clay - a pissed-off, gun-toting momma out for blood.
Paul
* * *
Nicely done, Paul.
I like it, but I went in a different direction while fleshing out the rooftop scenes, and our scenes don't quite mesh.
I dig the shaped charge concept. For emotional impact though, both Jenny's and the reader's, I believe it is stronger to have Jenny know it's a bomb and that she's going to die. I also believe we need to see the bomb go off and the hospital destroyed, and perhaps that Shanna should be the one to bear witness to it. Explaining the hospital will blow up in dialog, without seeing it sort of takes away the surprise. And not seeing it happen is sort of unsatisfying, and readers will be asking "Well, did the bomb go off? Did Jenny make it?."
I like Shanna seeking out Clay's dad, like Mort with the baby, and like the mystery behind Driscoll and her team,
Can all of you read the last the last few scenes on the roof, then Paul's scene, so we can discuss? Or can I go in a play around with Paul's version, and show what I'm going for?
This, BTW, is a perfect example of the "extra and deleted scenes" bonus features I mentioned...
Joe
* * *
What is this then?
The roof of the hospital exploded in an incandescent flare. The boom and shockwave stopped her in her tracks and she watched in horror as the windows and walls of the fourth floor belched flame and debris, followed almost immediately by the third and second and first. Every entrance, every exit blew its doors and shot flames like giant blowtorches.
And then the floors began to collapse--first the roof onto the fourth, then the fourth onto the third, pancaking all the way down to ground level in a mini-reenactment of the trade towers' collapse, leaving only a flame-riddled cloud of smoke and dust and debris on the far side of the parking lot.
Paul
* * *
Gotcha. I just reread it more carefully. During the first read, for some reason I thought what Shanna saw was the explosion Adam caused. Adam's explosion killed Clay, but because Shanna thought the second one killed Clay, and I thought the second was the first.
Still, I'm not sure we need the bomb explained, or that Jenny's last thought should be one of confusion at what she's seeing as opposed to realization that she's dead.
Do you mind me reworking it a bit?
Joe
* * *
I'd rather forgo the exposition myself. OTOH, readers are going to wonder how this bomb did what it does. Just saying it sterilized the scene is asking for a leap of faith. Mention plasma jet and 10k degrees, and they can be pretty certain there ain't gonna be any survivors--not draculas, not humans, not even viruses.
Paul
* * *
I think I see what my issue is. The final six scenes should be rearranged, so Clay's death immediately follows Adam's detonation. Then we can have Shanna and Jenny react to that.
Then I can break up Jenny's last scene. Half before Shanna goes into the interrogation room, then Shanna, then Jenny realizing it's a bomb, then back to Shanna to see the explosion, then Mort.
Then we can include the bomb explanation, still get the emotional impact of Jenny realizing her own demise, and avoid the confusion of which explosion is which.
Make sense?
Joe
* * *
Go for it.
Paul
* * *
Almost done. This works much better for me re-arranged.
Do you think it's better to have Dr. Mortenson ask Shanna her name, or would it be a bit more fun for him to know her name and assume some familiarity with her? It would give her, and the reader, a chance to maybe recognize him before his reveal, even though no one will.
Also, I've got an epilogue idea that I'm going to write. We can omit it from DRACULAS, but it's where I want to go when the sequel rolls around...
Joe
* * *
I think we can give our readers more credit. "Dr. Mortenson" is a pretty fair clue. And if not, twice she thinks she's met him before. Pairing those with your previous transformation scene pretty much gives it away, no? I don't think we need to hit them over the head. I'd rather have them make the leap on their own - that way they go from passive to participant. Those who don't glom on their own will get smacked in the head with it when the guy in the scrubs starts feeding the baby his blood.
Paul
* * *
It wouldn't be hitting them over the head. It would be subtle.
But I do think we need to spell it out in the last scene. I can see some folks going, "Huh? How did the doctor become a dracula?"
I'm going to tweak it to try it. We can always axe it if it doesn't work.
Joe
* * *
Okay, 4.3 is done, and the book is done.
Let's all read the last twenty pages and discuss if it works for everyone. I'm sure we'll change some stuff. And we might cut my prologue, but I wanted to hint that a follow-up book will have werewolves in it.
Also, we still need a book excerpt from Paul and an interview question answered from Jeff.
Excellent job, everyone!
Joe
* * *
Woo-hoo! Can't wait to read.
Blake
* * *
Guys, I think we have an important decision to make for which cover we go out with on October 19th.
Check it out:
I happen to think the cover without our names on it is much more striking, Intriguing, and buzz worthy. It's just plain bad ass. Joe - perhaps we could ask your readers on your blog, continue the involvement of marketing on all levels with the fans?
Blake
* * *
And another point...not having four names on the cover points to the underlying which is to create one, seamless novel. Subconsciously, I think readers will favorably make that connection and be more apt to buy.
Blake
* * *
I'm for the names. I want my name on my books.
But the title by itself looks sweet on a t-shirt.
Joe
* * *
Read the end, fantastic...made some small changes...
1. took this out: "in a mini-reenactment of the trade towers' collapse" - that's going to pull everyone out of the moment.
2. changed what Zeke the dog is eating to a rat per Adam's earlier scene...makes sense a rat and not a dracula would have escaped the hospital.
3. changed Dr. Mortenson to Dr. Cook...not quite as on the nose.
4. Put Clayton's death (just the last paragraph) after the 2nd to last Shanna scene.
Paul - can you drop a choice chapter excerpt into your folder? I'll add it to the manuscript
Jeff - please finish the interview.
I think Joe and I are good with this draft to begin proofing if you guys are.
Blake
* * *
My wife finished reading it, and loved it. But she had a few concerns.
1. She still holds out hope that Clay somehow survived.
2. She guessed Mortenson was Moorecook the moment he picked up the kid.
3. She didn't like it saying "the end." because Driscoll and the Zeke scene were unresolved, she felt it should end with "To be continued..."
4. She's pissed we killed everyone.
I explained to her that the building was incinerated, and that Clay was 100% dead, but if it wasn't clear to her, it won't be clear to others. So we should consider making it either more final, or more ambiguous about the possibility of him surviving.
But keep in mind that the more threads we have hanging, the likelier we are to annoy a certain percentage of readers.
Blake changing Moretenson to Cook is better, and maybe we should go with Paul's original line and have him ask Shanna's name to throw the reader off a bit. I thought it was too much misdirection, but I was apparently wrong.
Maria feels it ended too abruptly, which is a clear sign she wanted more. That's fine, but I don't want that dissatisfaction to result in bunch of one star Amazon reviews. Perhaps that could be nullified if we have the first chapter of DRACULAS 2 as a bonus feature.
As for killing folks, she cried at the death scenes, so I think they worked. But I don't want people finishing this book confused and angry.
Blake, gimme a call and I'll put you on the phone with my wife.
Joe
* * *
Also, we need to keep an eye on a few consistencies.
Some internal monologue is in italics. Some isn't. We should unify it one way or the other.
Also, Clay calls them "draculas." According to Blake, that's what they're called in The Passage, which I haven't read, but which came out after we had the idea for Draculas.
Might want to not call them "draculas" so we don't sound derivative, even though we came first. We might want to stick with the full length "draculas."
Incidentally, the title "Draculas" came from a Twitter joke I did on March 27, 2010.
"There's nothing to fear, but fear itself. And Draculas. There's probably one in your closet right now."
I liked it enough to repeat the joke in CUB SCOUT GORE FEAST that I wrote with Strand, and then had a eureka moment when I realized it would make a good title for a horror book.
Joe
* * *
When I put it up on FB, one comment was, "Oh, I thought it was 2 new authors - Crouch Kilborn and Strand Wilson." Of course, he was being facetious.
Paul
* * *
That Crouch Kilborn guy is a dick.
Joe
* * *
Done - a sequence from MIDNIGHT MASS.
Paul
* * *
1. She still holds out hope that Clay somehow survived.
Nothing wrong with hope. But he and Alice are together in that Great Shooting Range in the Sky.
2. She guessed Mortenson was Moorecook the moment he picked up the kid.
That's because she's smart (choice of spouse notwithstanding.)
3. She didn't like it saying "the end." because Driscoll and the Zeke scene were unresolved, she felt it should end with "To be continued..."
No reason we can't put "(Not)" or "(Not really...)" beneath it. We've been having fun with the readers all along. Why stop now?
4. She's pissed we killed everyone.
Not Shanna and not Moorecook. But this IS horror fiction, not romance, so a happy ending is not guaranteed.
That said, I'm not a fan of epilogues in general and this one is no exception. Ending with the baby nursing on Moorecook's blood hints that the story is going to ramp up to another level. The epilogue puts us back to square one: the start of another epidemic. I'll go with what the majority decides, but that's my $0.02.
Paul
* * *
"Blake, gimme a call and I'll put you on the phone with my wife."
Oh hell.
Blake
* * *
I see what Paul's saying to this extent...end with current epilogue (which can become a deleted scene) it ends with oh, the thing continues. End with Mort saying I have plans, we get a sense that it's escalating into maybe a world-wide thing, which is very cool. I'm still on the fence...
Blake
* * *
I'm fine with using the epilogue as an alternate ending or extra scene, and omitting it from the main manuscript. Or using at as Chapter 1 of DRACULAS 2. I'm not nearly as interested in a government dracula testing lab as I am a werewolf outbreak. New genre, new toys, new monsters.
My son just finished reading the book. Liked it. Was pissed Clay died.
I'm also pissed Clay died. That's 3 for 3 in the Konrath house for at least making it more ambiguous.
Stacie and Randall had poetic death scenes that were emotional.
Adam's was heroic. Jenny's was the end of Night of the Living Dead, which had been my intention when thinking up this scenario.
Clay's death is like a bad joke, without the laughter. He's hands down the favorite character. While the other deaths make sense, this one seems cruel. Even in a horror book.
He's your creation, Paul. If you want him to die, we won't fight you on it.
But I'm directing the hate mail I get to you. And in talking to my wife and son, I'm gonna get hate mail.
I think we could head off that hate mail if he grabs Alice, the building explodes, and his last thought is, "Oh, shit." Then there's always the possibility he comes back.
Joe
* * *
By the way, Paul, it's your own damn fault for writing a great, likable character.
Joe
* * *
I think he's gotta die. It brings a certain closure.
In DEEP AS THE MARROW I had a character named Poppy who I had to kill because her arc demanded it. I got tons of angry mail. But you know what? People remember that book because Poppy died. If I'd found a way to let her live, it might have been, Meh.
Look, I can take out the fusing with Alice scene and leave it a little ambiguous, leave a little hope. If we do a sequel, and we want to bring him back, we can find a way.
Paul
* * *
I vote for leaving it ambiguous.
Joe
* * *
I vote strongly against making it ambiguous. If Clay is on the roof when the hospital explodes, he's dead. We've gotta play fair. Suggesting that we might offer some sort of implausible explanation in the sequel for how he survived isn't going to placate readers.
I also vote to get rid of the epilogue, which makes the book feel like we're trying to set up two different sequels.
Jeff
* * *
Clay isn't on the roof. He's down a few floors.
Here's the thing, guys. We're releasing this as an ebook, and before it goes live 200 people are going to review it.
I love nihilistic endings. I thought the end to The Mist was one of the greatest endings in modern horror films.
Word of mouth killed The Mist in its first week, and it tanked at the box office.
Do we want to have a big ebook launch with an average two and a half star rating?
This isn't like a paperback, where the majority of customers won't see the reviews. Every potential customer will see the reviews and the star rating on the same Amazon page they download the ebook. Bad reviews will kill sales.
Am I saying compromise artistic integrity and pander to the audience? No.
Am I saying allow a character that readers have grown fond of a chance to survive? Yes.
We're not making some sort of social commentary or statement with this ebook. It's just supposed to be gory fun. But it loses some of the fun factor if we annihilate 90% of the cast.
Lanz, dead.
Benny, dead.
Randall, dead.
Oasis, dead.
Jenny, dead.
Adam, dead,
Stacie, dead.
Clay, dead.
Then secondary characters like Winslow, Brittany, Grammy Ann, and Herrick, all dead.
Mort and Shanna are the only POV characters that survive, and one is the main villain.
This isn't nearly are serious as my other horror novels, but more of the heroes survive in those.
I think we should at least allow for the possibility that Clay lives. This is a classic case of Pascal's Wager. We have a lot to lose, but everything to gain. What does it hurt to give Clay an ambiguous fate?
And with that, I rest my case. But let the record show that the readers--angry at the ending--will read through our emails and see that Paul and Jeff were the ones who pushed for Clay's death.
Joe
* * *
"What does it hurt to give Clay an ambiguous fate?"
Ask Brian Keene how much hate mail he got over the ending of THE RISING!
I'm not necessarily voting in favor of Clay dying...if there's a believable way he can survive the hospital blowing up, I'm all for it. I'm voting against the idea of leaving it up in the air. I'd feel much more cheated as a reader not knowing for sure what happened to him than having him die in the explosion.
Jeff
* * *
Then in the last scene, I vote for Clay crawling out of the rubble.
We need a scene where readers can cheer. Instead we bring in a government conspiracy completely out of left field that isn't explained or resolved, several depressing deaths, and an open-ended "villain wins" finale.
The more I think about it, the more I think the last fifteen pages kill the fun we had build up for the previous 250 pages.
Maybe it's my insecurity showing, but now I'm thinking we eliminate Driscoll and her team, and have Shanna find Clay still alive.
I've got a wild idea that I'm going to throw out there, for you guys to consider. You know how Hollywood has test screenings? What if I did a happy ending for Clay and Shanna, we gave both endings to the reviewers, and let them pick their favorite? Then we use that one for the book, make the other one an alternate ending, and I don't have a nervous breakdown.
I like the outcome where I don't have a nervous breakdown. I've written SEVEN novels this year. I'm so close to burning out that I need to mainline caffeine.
Before you tell me no, I think we all need to read the book straight through, and do our final edits. We mention Aliens and so many other cool action movies in this book, and they all had endings where the audience smiles big and pumps their hands in the air. We're ending Draculas with a nihilistic whimper, and I really think it's gonna hurt us. This book was too much fun to end with such a downer...
Joe
* * *
Okay, I feel better now. I did a different ending which I think still offers a lot of sequel potential, but will make readers say "Hell yeah!" when they finish. As Mickey Spillane said, "A good beginning makes them buy the book. A good ending makes them buy the next book."
It's labeled Alternate Ending in the Dropbox. We can debate whether we use it, or a variation of it, for the final manuscript. If we don't use it, at least it exists, and we can stick it in the extras.
Wife and son loved it, BTW.
Joe
September 24, 2010
I agree that the ending is the final taste a book leaves in the reader's mouth. If it's sour, it can taint all the flavors that came before. (Wow, look at me - maintaining a metaphor.)
I can buy this ending. Since peds is on the 2nd floor, I can buy Clay getting blown out and somehow surviving.
But he'd never hear Shanna through an intact thermopane window. Also, it wasn't clear she got free of the trailer.
I did a couple of minor fixes in bold face that resolve those.
Paul
* * *
Good points, Paul. Your changes are spot-on.
My wife WOULD NOT stop talking about Clay living. She was so damn happy after reading the new ending, she smiled for--no shit--and hour after she finished.
She also says she loves you.
If Blake and Jeff are okay with it, I vote for Paul's Altered Alternate ending to be the ending, and then the old ending to go into the extras. I also would like the dog epilogue I did that we cut to be an extra, and Paul's scene where Shanna refuses to let Clay take her gun away to be an extra deleted scene.
Blake, you want me to put this together, then we can all start our final edits?
Jeff, you can finish the interview in the final edit.
Rock on!
Joe
* * *
Joe, you DO realize that you're saying "But my family likes my writing!"
Just kidding, you big lug. Again, my issue was with an ambiguous ending, not a "Clay lives" one, so this all sounds good.
I finished the interview yesterday but didn't send out a note saying I finished it. But now we have to revise the part where we said there were no disagreements.
Jeff
* * *
You guys have met my wife. She's brutally honest, and she doesn't put up with my BS.
However, I told my son if he didn't say what I wanted, he was grounded.
And this wasn't a disagreement. This was a meltdown on my part, that you guys were kind enough to tolerate.
The complete first draft with everything in it will be up tonight. Then Paul can have Saturday and Sunday to go through it and make changes. Jeff can have Monday and Tuesday. I'll do Wednesday. Blake Thurs and Fri, and then off to the proofreader.
Joe
* * *
Nice work, Paul and Joe, I love the altered alternate ending!
Blake
* * *
Okay, we've got a final first draft, Draculas 4.5, in the dropbox.
Paul, it's yours unit Sunday night. Make your changes and save it as Draculas 4.6.
Blake and I have discussed out editing rules, and we think they should go like this:
1. Fix any errors, typos, plot inconsistencies, obvious problems you come across.
2. Concentrate on tightening and fixing the prose that you wrote. We don't want to rewrite each other's scenes and mess up each other's style and voice.
3. If you find problems with someone else's writing, or story arcs, it would be cool to send a mass email to discuss how to fix it.
Having four sets of eyes on this should really make it bulletproof. But we don't want to lose the individual touches that make each of our scenes unique.
So basically, treat your edit like our editors treat us, fixing mistakes, but asking before making any big changes.
Finally, the acknowledgements are at the end. Feel free to thank whomever you want to thank.
Joe
* * *
I'll start this afternoon.
Paul
* * *
"We don't want to rewrite each other's scenes and mess up each other's style and voice."
Randall's speech patterns change a bit from author to author. I assume it's okay for me to go in and tweak dialogue throughout, right?
Jeff
* * *
I think I already asked you to do that in his scene with Clay, but if I've got any others, feel free.
Paul
* * *
For sure, and that brings up a good point...be on the lookout for scenes where others have written your characters, b/c that's where most of the inconsistencies may arise.
Blake
* * *
Absolutely. Also, the scenes I have Benny in might be a bit different from your Benny scenes, Jeff, so go ahead and tweak. Ditto for Dr. Lanz, Paul. You originally created his voice, then I stole him for the Jenny scenes. If you want to adjust him, go for it.
Joe
* * *
Also Paul - I assume you've been keeping tabs on this already, but if you see any medical terminology, etc. that we've screwed up, please feel free to just fix it.
Blake
* * *
Re: comments going thru Draculas 4.5...
Pajamas gone -- Mort needs pants on so Shanna can recognize the buckle
Moved Eastwood outgoing message up.
Oasis' -- Oasis is singular. I know you see otherwise, but where I come from, a singular possessive requires an 's -- as in Oasis's. Only plural possessive get a lone '. Agree? Disagree?
Red eyes or black eyes on the draculas?
Paul
* * *
Agree with the s's. Hate how it looks, but it's correct.
Draculas have huge black pupils. But the white of their eyes is bloodshot.
Joe
* * *
Got it.
Paul
* * *
"We need to get them safe so they can be sick and die in peace."
If this isn't my favorite line in the book, it's way up there.
Paul
* * *
"Is that...a flamingo?" asked the old woman.
Okay, this is up there too.
Paul
September 25, 2010
I just updated the Draculas Amazon pages to mention the deleted scenes and alternate endings.
Right now we've sold 101 preorders, and have had 702 downloads of the sample chapters. Not huge numbers, but they'll go up when we start getting reviews. They'll really go up when the book goes live. Readers aren't big on samples or preorders, but once the real thing is available, they'll pull the trigger. I have no doubt this will outsell all of my other ebooks, and I've got ebooks that have sold over 2500 copies in a month.
Paul and Jeff, makes sure you add Draculas to your Amazon pages. Blake and I already have.
There's a dracula skull sketch in the dropbox. The plan is to get 5 more similar drawings and put them in the ebook, Hardy Boys style.
The Draculas website should be up soon. It has a forum. You'll all be expected to make at least a token appearance there.
We're also going to do a 48 state, six month tour to support the book, starting on Christmas Eve. Break it to your wives now. I already spent $600 on the 1978 VW Van that we'll be touring in and living out of. It has a mini fridge and four cots. The van has a faint odor (it's either feet or cheese), but I think that will be masked by the Porta Potty I'm having installed.
During the tour, we'll each need to bring $35,000, for gas, food, and prostitutes. That dollar figure has been carefully worked out, and doesn't include narcotics. If you want narcotics, plan on bringing extra cash.
Since we'll be living in close quarters for half a year, we need to make sure we're up to date on our vaccinations. Also, I want to disclose that I have ringworm, but I've been told it isn't very contagious.
Joe
* * *
Guys, from the beginning, Joe and I wanted the end of this book to resonate, inversely, to Night of the Living Dead, where instead of the one good guy getting killed in the end, the one bad guy escapes. With that in mind, I'm writing a short little scene from the POV of a private who has been tasked with shooting anything that comes out of the hospital following the massive blast...I'll drop it in my folder, and if everyone likes it, maybe Jeff can add it in when he begins his review. It will occur between the scene where Clay gets blown out of the hospital and Shanna meets Dr. Cook. This sound OK?
Blake
* * *
Sounds good, Blake. Maybe stick it in (and fix those typos you found) when Paul finishes his pass, then it can go to Jeff. No reason to wait...
Joe
September 26, 2010
Finished my read through and I've gotta say, this thing moves like a sumbitch, but manages to build some real relationships along the way. It's by turns hilarious, horrific, and poignant, but the momentum it achieves toward the end is (to borrow from Mr. Jobs) insanely relentless. The four styles mesh smoothly. Almost seamless.
Adding to my previous comments:
Pg. 121 Moved the Wolkenstein explanation up because timing-wise it needs to be in hour two.
Speaking of hours, I think we should get rid of the "Hour" dividers. They interrupt the flow, they're inaccurate, and serve only to distract and cornfuse.
Pg 127: Randall -- what happened to the dracs following him in his previous section? They seem to have disappeared. Also, his leg doesn't seem to be bothering him as he's kicking the wheelchair back again and again.
I changed Lanz's amputation a teeny bit. No need to saw through bone in the glenohumeral joint -- it's a ball-and-socket joint; you need only cut away the tissues holding the ball in the socket.
Pg 146 -- Adam's backpack: "Adam took it, unzipped it, and dumped the contents--a change of clothes and some toiletries."
doesn't jibe with:
Pg 161: "Unshouldered his backpack, hands shaking so badly he could barely unzip it. He pulled out his iPad, powered it up."
Maybe he could pull it from a side compartment. That aside, an iPad seems like an expensive toy for a young minister. A netbook might be more his speed, and serve the same purpose.
I changed Sgt. Halford to a colonel. Can't see a non-com with that kind of authority and responsibility
pg 236 "I'm catching a cab out of here." Didn't sound right. I changed it to: "I'm arranging a ride into town."
Along the way I divided up a Clay scene and a Shanna scene to coincide with the timeline a little better.
Paul
* * *
I agree about removing the "Hour" dividers. That's something I was going to watch for in my read-through, but I think the combined action takes place in quite a bit less than four hours.
Jeff
* * *
Terrific points, Paul. Great catches, all.
Is it ready for Jeff to begin? If so...
Jeff, can Blake add his new scene and fix a few typos before Jeff takes it?
Blake, can you switch some content around? I think the TOC should go:
Joe
* * *
Sure. Blake, just let me know when you're done.
Jeff
* * *
Jeff, I haven't heard from Blake, so go ahead and take 4.6 and start your edit. Save it as 4.7, and try to get it to me by Tuesday night if you can. If not, Wednesday will work.
Blake, I see you're still working on the soldier scene. No rush. But if you want to forward the typo list to me or Jeff, feel free to shoot an email...
Joe
* * *
Nice, Paul!!! And very glad to hear your enthusiasm for the final product. Agree with all your comments...Instead of an iPad, would a Kindle give sufficient glow to barely light the way in a dark basement? Joe?
Jeff, go ahead and dive in. I'm still finalizing my brief soldier scene and Joe can put it in when he takes the next handoff.
BTW, we're up to 161 advance review commitments...
Blake
* * *
Kindles aren't backlit...
Paul
* * *
But Kindles do have detachable lights, and I love that he's use a Kindle. In fact, I really really really think this is the way to go, especially since Amazon has been so helpful.
The Kindle light I use, and love, is an XXXXXX.
I say, use that with the Kindle. Then I'll contact XXXXXX and see if they'll send us some swag in exchange for the plug.
Joe
* * *
Jeff, I figure you're just getting started on the manuscript I'm going to finish this scene today, and then let you know where you can to stick it (ok that didn't sound nice, but you know what I mean ;). I would like you to see how it integrates with the end scenes on your read...might need to have Shanna hearing the big .50 chugging.
Blake
* * *
34 pages in, just minor tweaks here and there. I cut the "Talk about a half-assed injury" joke because Lanz is a jerk who would not be thinking in amusing puns.
There's one piece with Lanz fleeing that might confuse readers:
"Out of the treatment room, into the ER proper. Ignore the terrified, questioning faces. Find a place to hide. A door--SUPPLIES. The handle won't turn. Locked. Of course. But he has a key. He fumbles it free, unlocks the steel door, ducks inside, closes and locks it behind him."
I think that putting this whole paragraph in italics will make it clear that the use of present tense is a stylistic choice. Any objections?
Jeff
* * *
None. I lapsed into present and left it.
Paul
* * *
No objections to italics. But the "half-assed injury" joke will make it into the final manuscript, if not by Lanz then by an observer that I invent specifically to say the joke.
In fact, I'm pretty close to renaming the book "Half-Assed Injury." Rather than the title looking like fangs, it will have different identifiable features.
Also, Jeff is off my Christmas list. This year I'm giving out hams to all of my friends. The hams will be delivered in brand new Camaros. Blake, you still wanted red, right?
Joe
* * *
I was thinking of you. I wouldn't want you to squander the "half-assed injury" joke on DRACULAS, where you might not get full credit for it.
Jeff
* * *
Don't lie. You weren't thinking of me at all. You were selfishly thinking about what's best for the book.
No Camaro for you. It would have been black, with a supercharger.
Instead, for Xmas I am sending you half a box of expired Minute Rice, and a rawhide bone my dog stopped chewing because it made her gums bleed. And you won't get them until December 28th.
Joe
* * *
"Talk about a half-assed injury!" said an onlooker, pointing at the softball player.
"Mr. McGlade, please," said the doctor, "if you don't hold your hand in place it's never going to reattach itself."
Then six or seven draculas burst into the room, and ate Harry in twelve or fourteen bites.
"I'm almost sad about that," said a patient. Then everybody popped open a cool refreshing beer and laughed for a while, just like the end of a Saturday morning cartoon.
Jeff
* * *
Doesn't McGlade get killed in the Choose your own adventure Draculas subplot?
Blake
* * *
Only twice, which isn't enough.
Jeff
* * *
You just lost your half box of Xmas Minute Rice, Mr. Sarcasm.
I'm leaning toward this:
Jack lowered the brim of his Boston Red Sox cap and sat down in the ER waiting room. He blended into the background, just another normal guy, an average face in the crowd. But the vibe was all wrong. This didn't seem like a run-of-the-mill fix-it job. He felt a chill--the Otherness that had become inseparable from his life since his near death encounter with the blue meanies.
(I'm still not sure where the "half-assed" joke will come in yet. I may have to write for this character for a few more chapters before I find the spot.)
BTW, Paul. Since you never mentioned Jack's last name, I'm just going to give him the surname "Snortkowski." Also, in this scene, he gets his pelvis chewed off. You're gonna have to retrofit that into your series.
Joe
* * *
Don't lie, Mr. Liar McLyingpants.
The Draculas scene from Banana Hammock by J.A. Konrath went like this:
Mortimer rolled on top of her, like a lover, blood and saliva dripping onto Jenny's face and neck. She reached up to push him away, but even as terror-stricken as she was, Jenny couldn't bring herself to touch him. It was like willingly sticking your hand into a box of angry rattlesnakes. Even as his jaws drew near, Jenny's revulsion wouldn't allow her to fight back. She stretched out her hand--her face imploring--to Dr. Lanz, who stood within reach. But he shrank away from her beckoning fingers, retreating into the safety of the nurse's station.
This is it, Jenny thought. I'm going to die.
"Cool," Crazy Knife Goon said.
Harry McGlade nodded. "Draculas is a real roller coaster ride. Soon the whole hospital is overrun, with a few remaining survivors fighting for their lives."
"Which parts did Jeff Strand write?" Andrew Mayhem asked.
McGlade gave CKG a knowing nod, and then they both shoved Mayhem at the creature, who tore into Mayhem's throat like a fatty ripping open a bag of potato chips, except blood came out, not chips, and it wasn't a fatty, it was a dracula. There was babyish squealing and some unmanly cries for help from Mayhem, who was probably a bed wetter, and then the dracula ate him all up and everyone gave each other high-fives.
Also, despite the very reasonable $2.99 Kindle price, Draculas never sold a single copy, so Strand never got any royalties.
Joe
* * *
I was too distracted by the desecration of Winnie the Pooh.
Jeff
* * *
That wasn't desecration. That was parody, which is protected by fair use, and I never mentioned that beloved childhood copyrighted character by name so it isn't infringement.
Joe
* * *
If McGlade shows up in this I fucking quit.
Blake
* * *
But I still get paid of course, it's a symbolic quitting.
Blake
* * *
You just lost yourself a Camaro, Mr. McCritical.
I think you're still sore because anytime someone mentions "Blake Crouch" in Banana Hammock, no one knows who you are.
Joe
* * *
I come home Sunday night to 15 freakin emails? And I thought it was us old guys who weren't supposed to have lives.
Paul
* * *
Jeff started it.
Joe
September 27, 2010
Blake, I continue to be blown away by the amount of energy you're putting into the extra bonus features, and the marketing and publicity of Draculas.
I made a few tweaks to the working in the review email blast you just put in the dropbox...
CURRENT ARC REQUESTS: 165
Goal: 300
1. EMAIL TO PROOFREADER
Hi Marcus: Please find attached the manuscript in a word document. In terms of how to go about this, we would request that you make a running list of typos you locate and turn that list in with the corrected manuscript If they're straight-forward misspellings, blaring typos, just correct them--American spelling please :). If you come across something more complex, please just make a note of it. It's a big old book, and we would appreciate if you would go through the bonus content as well. Any questions, don't hesitate to ask, and thank you again for your willingness to help us out on this project (we've already thanked you in the acknowledgments).
Best!
Blake
2. EMAIL ADDRESSES AND EMAIL FOR SENDING MS. TO UPCOMING RESPONDERS TO JOE'S BLOG ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ARCS AND TO GOOD READS
Thanks to:
Marcus Blakeston, Carl Graves, Rob Siders, Chris Rapking, Suzanne Tyrpak, Maria Konrath, Jeroen ten Berge,
Gef Fox, Nenad Ristic, Steve Windwalker, Chris Blewitt, Marc Buhmann, Krist Rufty, KD James, Cherie Reich, Stephen Grogan, Dr.CPE, David Dodd, Gail Snyder, John McCarthy, Anthea Strezze, Douglas Dorow, Jason Otoski, Juli Monroe, A. Sadie Timm, Julie Smith, Christy Pinheiro-Silva, K.S. Elkins, Carolyn Lee, Paul McMurray, Traci Hohenstein, Steve Malley, Debbi Mack, James Reed, Missy Meyer, Gretchen Rix, Karly Kirkpatrick, Brian Spaeth, Roxanne McHenry, Kaoru Tanaka, Dennis Welch, Cynthia Briggs, Baboi Alin Lucian, Andrea Allison, Steve Lewis, LaDonna Bubak, Jessica Crooks, Greg Swanson, Robert Carraher, Aldo Calcagno, Brian H "The Chalkboard Dad", Mary Stella, Tamera Martens, Jeroen ten Berge, HL Arledge, Jason Davis, Suzanne Fyhrie Parrott, Scott Marlowe, Stacy Krueger, Philip Hansen, Carl Obermeier, Steve Peterson, Tyler Kneisly, Sandra Gilbert, Ahmed Khalifa, Lamar Giles, LK Rigel, Misty Baker, Raven Corinn Carluk, David Villalva, James Reasoner, Frederick Altstadt, Anthony Grogan, Donnie Light, Kim Wright, Pauline Funa, Gerald Writer, Kipp Speicher, Jennifer Baker, Holly Barnes, Elizabeth White, Trish Gerstman, J.E. Taylor, Rob Cundall, John Smith, Joe Bishop, Daniel Barbier, Claudia Lefeve, Geoffrey Rabe, Ty Simmons, Mike Heppe, Daryl Sedore, Helen Letourneau, Rai Aren, Selena Kitt, Georgiann Hennelly, Debbie Gilliam, Rhonda, Brenda Sedore, Janene Irvine, John Hartness; Robert Cundall; Keith Gaston; Kyle W. Kerr; Mickey Reed, Katie Hardin, Eghe Precious, Steven Beltzer, Amanda Pickett, Karen Dyck, Lakisha Speltzer, Catherine Saxton, Dorlana Vann, Phoebe Conn, Matthew Dow Smith, Terri Dukes, Vicki K. Brown, Ilsa Bick, Karen McGrath, Tee Tate, Vannessa Grace, Yeva Wiest, Anthony Policastro, Shannhu, Joanie Raisovich, Tim Rich, E. Wylie, Judy Sizemore, Loretta Giacoletto, Sharon Anderson, Holly, Jaime Wasserman, Katie Hardin, Natasha Pixie, Melissa Zellmer, David Wisehart, Moses Siregar III, Heather Dudley, William Tombaugh, Kendall Gutierrez, Georgekutty Adappur, Barb Best, Bobbie Crawford-McCoy, Paula Phillips, Aaron Patterson,
1st email to the troops:
Dear Friends: Attached to this email is the finished manuscript of DRACULAS, including all of its extensive bonus content. We have attached the book as a pdf, an epub file (for you Nook and Sony lovers) and a mobi file if the Kindle is your pleasure.
If you have any questions or issues with any of the file attachments, please don't hesitate to get in touch via draculasthebook@gmail.com.
We will be following up with a second email in about a week with further instructions as we approach the 10/19 launch date. In the meantime, please just explore and enjoy DRACULAS (you should enjoy the bonus content...trust us, it's off-the-hook). We hope you'll read the book within the next week and start gathering your thoughts for a review.
We seriously couldn't do this without you. Your willingness to help us spread the word about DRACULAS means the world to us, and we've already thanked every one of you in the acknowledgements at the end of the book (and if you find yourself missing, let us know!).
More soon!
All the best,
Blake, Joe, Jeff, and Paul
2nd email to the troops:
Dear Friends: As of this email, we are a mere four days from the launch of DRACULAS. Hopefully, you've read the book and written a review, and now it gets exciting.
As early as possible, ON OCTOBER 18, please post your review on your blog(s), Goodreads, Facebook, Shelfari, interstate overpasses, basically anywhere you see fit.
We would also request that you include the link to purchase DRACULAS on Amazon:
Then send an email to draculasthebook@gmail.com, under the heading "REVIEW LINK" and drop us the link to your blog(s) review of the book, or if you don't have a blog, include the text of your review in the email.
ON OCTOBER 19, please post your review onto Amazon's DRACULAS page: http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Novel-Terror-ebook/dp/B0042AMD2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=books&qid=1284569826&sr=8-1. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY THE BOOK TO POST A REVIEW ON AMAZON, you just need an Amazon account.
If you use Twitter, please tweet about your review and also what Joe Konrath will be posting on his blog. http://jakonrath.blogspot.com. He will be including a link to every blog review of DRACULAS, and we want people to have to scroll through page after page after page to get to the bottom. The DraculasTheBook.com website will also feature all reviews.
To our knowledge, this type of marketing experiment has never been attempted on this level. What is the power of several hundred reviews all appearing on the same day, and on Amazon? Is it enough take DRACULAS viral? To hit #1 in the Kindle store? That's our hope.
We find it exciting and liberating to enlist our wonderful readers to help us connect to a wider audience. Because the more books we sell, the more books we are able to write.
For those of you who have expressed concern that Draculas is only available as a Kindle ebook, remember that it is DRM free. That means, once bought from Amazon, it can be easily transferred to any other ereading device (Nook, Kobo, Sony, etc.) Visit www.DraculastheBook.com for instructions. Draculas will also soon be available in print.
Thank you again for joining us in this experiment, thanks for reading our work, and here's to a successful launch. Keep on the lookout for another email shortly letting everyone know how we did.
All the best,
Blake, Joe, Jeff, and Paul
Joe
* * *
Private Rogers 1.1 is in Blake's folder. Everyone take a look. I think it could still use some tweaking, so anyone who wants to volunteer, go for it.
Joe
* * *
Okay. Don't want to step on anyone's toes, but ...
It's a great sequence, but I don't see what purpose it serves. We introduce a new character only to kill him. I admit that I am by nature a taker-outer rather than a puter-inner, so let me give my reasons for relegating this to alternate endings (along with my Dr. Driscoll sequence).
1) I think Dr. Cook appearing to Shanna in clean scrubs adds to his mystique.
2) having draculas escape on Pvt Rogers's watch indicates that the autoclave was a failure and that dracs could be escaping elsewhere. (Clay was blown through an open window, so that's a different story)
3) in order to have closure in this book, we need the reader to buy that the autoclave bomb worked, that this episode is over, and whatever comes after is all new.
Pace, Blake.
Paul
* * *
Good points, Paul.
Blake (and I) wanted to drill it home that Cook is still alive because he accidentally was mistaken for human, just like Duane Jones in Night of the Living Dead was accidentally killed because he was mistaken for a zombie. In both cases, it is the men with the guns who make the mistake.
I killed Rogers because I thought he wasn't the best example of exemplary soldiering. Blake originally didn't bring the dracula into it. When I did bring the dracula in, I killed it, so there weren't any more running around.
But I also think your points are correct.
What if Rogers gave him a free pass and didn't die, and Cook's scrubs were clean?
I don't want to force this scene in, but I like what it brings.
On the other hand, maybe we can give Cook a line when he's being interviewed: "I barely escaped. One of the soldiers even wanted to shoot me, until I showed him I hadn't been bitten."
Thoughts?
Joe
* * *
Ditto - very valid points, Paul...by way of explanation, I started this scene, because in reading the final sequence in DRACULAS, it occurred to me that (a) I thought the perimeter scene was under-drawn, and (b) the original idea of having Mort escape in opposite fashion to the end of the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD hadn't been fully achieved. But maybe we don't need that. I do agree that we need to have the full sense that all of the draculas are dead and that perhaps this also screws up the pacing of the final scenes...let's hear what Jeff thinks and sleep on it. I'm not married to this either way, and if it gets relegated to deleted scenes, I'm okay with that.
Blake
* * *
I think you're pushing for a pop-cultural point/reference that no one's gonna notice or care about.
I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, but I don't think it adds to the narrative. And if it doesn't, then ya gotta let it go. This is not a tantrum igniter for me. I simply don't think it's necessary. This is a collaboration and majority rules. But for my part, I think it's extraneous, so I vote "alternate ending."
Paul
* * *
I think we can keep it omitted. But then I do want a bit added to Dr. Cook at the end, explaining he almost got shot.
While folks probably won't notice the pop culture reference, the whole "Moorecook is saved" was part of my first conversation with Blake about Draculas, and one of the reasons we wanted to write this story in the first place. Night of the Living Dead (and I Am Legend by Matheson--at least the Vincent Price film version of it) was about trapped people surrounded by monsters. NotLD blew me away the first time I saw it (nine years old?), especially the nihilistic ending. Doing a reverse-nihilistic ending drew me to this project.
But then, as long as it's known what our intent was, I see no problem in cutting it.
Curious what Jeff thinks...
Joe
September 28, 2010
Okay, looking back, maybe I'm being a tight-ass. If this section is important to you guys, if leaving it out's going to make the book something less than you intended, let's go with it. Seriously.
Paul
* * *
But honestly, Paul, if it struck you as a speedbump in the pacing, particularly at the most critical part of the book (the end), that gives me serious concern about the scene and that maybe it shouldn't be in there. I'm sure we've all written books having a certain scene or note in mind to hit at the end, and then when the time came, it just didn't jive with the rest of the book. Let's see what Jeff thinks.
Blake
* * *
I'm withholding my vote until I'm done with the proofreading. But the fact that a scene was part of the original idea should be irrelevant to whether or not it's appropriate for the book as it stands now.
Jeff
* * *
I'm contacting various Kindle booklight manufacturers to see if we can get an endorsement deal. A Kindle light saves Adam's life, and perhaps some company would be happy enough about the product placement to cover our start-up costs (art, formatting, website.)
Plus, it would be great publicity, for both us and them, if Draculas was the very first ebook with advertising in it. Both Blake and Jeff know I've been predicting this for years...
Joe
* * *
Agreed.
Blake
* * *
Remember, though, the light is dying as soon as he turns it on, creating a ticking clock to darkness.
Jeff
* * *
It they don't give us a deal, I'll have the light die and Adam can smash it into the wall and say, "This fucking piece of shit is so unreliable!"
Blake
* * *
Adam started running, made it out of the laboratory and halfway through reception, when his XXXXXX finally faded to black.
He froze, waited a moment, thinking his eyes would adjust, that he would be able to see something, but it never happened.
His first instinct was primal, animal panic, a sense of the walls both closing in and spinning until he'd completely lost his bearing.
XXXXXX. It leaves you in the dark to be eaten by vampires. $29.99.
Jeff
* * *
XXXXXX...it's not going to help you when the lights go out during a vampire outbreak.
Blake
* * *
Our emails crossed and yours is much funnier...LOL
Blake
* * *
Clay stopped at the Pepsi machine and got a refreshingly tasty Mountain Dew. Halfway into sipping the delicious beverage, he heard a noise on his left. Reaching into his Levis 517 Boot Cut jeans, he removed his Benchmade Griptilian folder, flicking open the blade.
But it wasn't a dracula. It was Jenny, riding a brand new Schwinn Seneca 700cc, her L.A. Gear Walk N Tone shoes furious on the pedals.
"They're coming!" she yelled while screeching the brakes. "But before we run, I need to apply some L'Oreal True Match Concealer! I don't fight monsters without looking my best!"
Guys, we're gonna be rich...
Joe
* * *
Okay, I'd never heard an XXXXXX, but now I really want one.
Paul
* * *
No, I completely agree with Paul. It's a good self-contained scene, but it feels less like "enhancing the irony" than "overexplaining a plot point." Readers don't want six pages of a new character right at the finale.
Jeff
* * *
I've gotta say, this book flows incredibly well for a four-author project! I'd expected to find a lot of awkward pacing, but no, it's smoooooooth. Huge kudos to Blake for managing to figure out where everything should be pasted together.
For a book with so many characters, they're all distinct, and I don't think readers will have any difficulty following the action.
I fixed a few typos, some redundant description, and the occasional continuity error. I changed the iPad to a Kindle with a light. Cut a line here and there.
I have a couple more changes to make (there's a paragraph about Clay/Shanna's relationship that's too much like Randall/Jenny's relationship, and Randall gives Jenny a hatchet that's never used), and then I'm going to go through the special features.
Jeff
* * *
There's another deleted scene for the fire.
Joe
* * *
Okay, I'm ready to hand this thing off to Joe.
The Clay epilogue is fantastic. Feels like it was planned out from the beginning.
Jeff
* * *
Don't know about rich, but I think the least the Taurus folks can do is send me a Raging Bull.
Paul
* * *
If Taurus contacts you, asking if you received the firearm they sent your way via my address, they're liars and never sent me anything.
Also, remind them I wanted extra clips.
Joe
* * *
And somebody is bound to send Blake some red candy!
Jeff
* * *
Okay, I'm just getting started, and have only made some small changes.
I switched Clay's profession from cop to high school guidance counselor. Now, instead of all the shooting, he encourages the draculas to talk about their feelings.
Stacie is now a man.
I cut all the stuff Jeff wrote.
In my scenes, I added two commas, and fixed a typo.
I also made one minor addition. Dr. Lanz is now a minor. Sort of like Doogie Howser. Because of this, he is now being played by Neil Patrick Harris, who has turned the role into a singing part. Not quite sure how that will work in an ebook, but this is all such a fabulous new technology I'm sure there's a way.
Oh, almost forgot. I also changed every noun in the book to "wiener."
"Wiener jerked against his wieners, making the wiener rattle. The wieners had pumped enough wieners into him to kill a wiener, but the wieners hadn't abated. Wiener wiped away another wiener, wondering if wiener should have seen wiener coming."
You can see how the story is vastly improved.
Also, I cut all the stuff Blake wrote.
Joe
* * *
Interesting changes, Joe.
BTW, could you please cut all the stuff I wrote too?
Paul
* * *
As long as I still get my 25% of the royalties...
Jeff
* * *
And for real now...
I made the formatting globally uniform in terms of punctuation and spacing (Kindle hates it when the return key is pressed more than once.)
Put the Sgt. Rogers scene in the deleted scenes.
Changed the order of some of the special features.
Added the emails that were in the dropbox.
Jeff and Paul, you didn't put in your acknowledgments. If you don't have anyone specific to thank, we can just use "The Authors Wish to Thank" and then list all the folks that helped us.
I'm getting started on reading it, and should finish by tomorrow.
Joe
* * *
BTW, could you please cut all the stuff I wrote too?
I can't find the scenes you wrote, Paul. Was it the scene with the wieners?
Joe
September 29, 2010
While I was editing, I got sidetracked on the email extras, and just spent two hours making that all nice and uniform and clear, fixing some typos and formatting.
I also added the "half-assed" joke Jeff cut to the Deleted Scenes collection. I'm sad to see it go from the manuscript, but at least it lives on as a bonus extra...
Joe
* * *
I just skimmed through the emails. 40k words of email. 40k!
Paul
* * *
"40k words of email"
And that's after cutting out all of the pointless emails that Strand sent. Did you get the eleven pages of cross-stitch patterns he sent, under the heading, "Super Important Draculas Notes"?
Blake had his moments as well, like when he cut and pasted the entire Wikipedia article on the line of succession to the British Throne. I finally gave up reading that one at #1491 - Baron Godfrey of Furstenberg-Herdringen, second son of Baron Sylvester.
The only one not abusing our email protocol with pointless messages that have nothing to do with the project is me. I have several theories on why that is, and will be sending them to you, in groups of threes, over the next eight days.
Joe
October 1, 2010
Love you guys. It's been an honor, and a great deal of fun, working with you on this project. I couldn't have picked three better writers.
Let's consider doing this again in 2011, schedules permitting.
Joe
* * *
You too, brother. Feeling honestly a little emotional writing this. It has been nothing but a total joy and a true privilege working with all of you. Everyone brought their A-game, everyone gave 100%, we didn't always agree, but I'm really proud of how we worked through those times when we didn't see eye-to-eye. Truly one of the best writing experiences I've had, and I know I'm a better writer having worked with each of you. I really couldn't be more thrilled with how this book and collaboration turned out.
Thanks, boys, for a helluva good time.
Blake
* * *
This from a Horrorworld interview going live later this month
Q: There's a lot of nervousness, excitement, and hand-wringing about the move toward electronic publishing. What's your take -- as a writer and as a reader -- on this new digital age?
A: I love it and I've embraced it. I hate the piracy, but the leeches are always with us. I've put all titles from my backlist to which I still own e-rights up online as ebooks. As I write this I've just finished my contribution to a 4-way collaboration with Blake Crouch, Joe Konrath (as Jack Kilborn), and Jeff Strand. It's a straight-to-ebook novel called Draculas, and we had a super-fun time writing it. If only all novels could be this easy and fast. 70k words in 5 weeks (plus 40k words of email). I'm glad to see I can still keep up with the younger guys. These are 3 excellent horror/thriller writers, turning in sharp, clean prose at an amazing rate. It's real horror, lots of gore, tons of action, and a fair amount of humor. This begs to be filmed.
Paul
October 2, 2010
Even though these bonus features are about 92% e-mail fellatio, I'll add one more slurp and say that this has indeed been a lot of fun to write.
Thanks to Joe for the idea, to Blake for taking on the hardest job, and to Paul for overall awesomeness.
But if we're going to include behind-the-scenes e-mails for DRACULAS II, somebody needs to sleep with somebody else's wife.
Jeff