Ethics
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This, my dear friend, is a very true
account; and a very encouraging one for you. A man who owes so
little can clear it off in a very little time, and, if he is a
prudent man, will; whereas a man who, by long negligence, owes a
great deal, despairs of ever being able to pay; and therefore never
looks into his account at all.
When you go to Genoa, pray observe carefully
all the environs of it, and view them with somebody who can tell
you all the situations and operations of the Austrian army, during
that famous siege, if it deserves to be called one; for in reality
the town never was besieged, nor had the Austrians any one thing
necessary for a siege. If Marquis Centurioni, who was last winter
in England, should happen to be there, go to him with my
compliments, and he will show you all imaginable civilities.
I could have sent you some letters to
Florence, but that I knew Mr. Mann would be of more use to you than
all of them. Pray make him my compliments. Cultivate your Italian,
while you are at Florence, where it is spoken in its utmost purity,
but ill pronounced.
Pray save me the seed of some of the best
melons you eat, and put it up dry in paper. You need not send it
me; but Mr. Harte will bring it in his pocket when he comes over. I
should likewise be glad of some cuttings of the best figs,
especially la Pica gentile and the Maltese; but as this is not the
season for them, Mr. Mann will, I dare say, undertake that
commission, and send them to me at the proper time by Leghorn.
Adieu. Endeavor to please others, and divert yourself as much as
ever you can, in 'honnete et galant homme'.
P. S. I send you the inclosed to deliver to
Lord Rochford, upon your arrival at Turin.
LETTER
CXVIII.
LONDON, August 6,
O. S. 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: Since your letter from
Sienna, which gave me a very imperfect account both of your illness
and your recovery, I have not received one word either from you or
Mr. Harte. I impute this to the carelessness of the post simply:
and the great distance between us at present exposes our letters to
those accidents. But when you come to Paris, from whence the
letters arrive here very regularly, I shall insist upon you writing
to me constantly once a week; and that upon the same day, for
instance, every Thursday, that I may know by what mail to expect
your letter. I shall also require you to be more minute in your
account of yourself than you have hitherto been, or than I have
required, because of the informations which I receive from time to
time from Mr. Harte. At Paris you will be out of your time, and
must set up for yourself; it is then that I shall be very
solicitous to know how you carry on your business. While Mr. Harte
was your partner, the care was his share, and the profit yours. But
at Paris, if you will have the latter, you must take the former
along with it. It will be quite a new world to you; very different
from the little world that you have hitherto seen; and you will
have much more to do in it. You must keep your little accounts
constantly every morning, if you would not have them run into
confusion, and swell to a bulk that would frighten you from ever
looking into them at all. You must allow some time for learning
what you do not know, and some for keeping what you do know; and
you must leave a great deal of time for your pleasures; which (I
repeat it, again) are now become the most necessary part of your
education. It is by conversations, dinners, suppers,
entertainments, etc., in the best companies, that you must be
formed for the world. 'Les manieres les agremens, les graces'
cannot be learned by theory; they are only to be got by use among
those who have them; and they are now the main object of your life,
as they are the necessary steps to your fortune. A man of the best
parts, and the greatest learning, if he does not know the world by
his own experience and observation, will be very absurd; and
consequently very unwelcome in company. He may say very good
things; but they will probably be so ill-timed, misplaced, or
improperly addressed, that he had much better hold his tongue. Full
of his own matter, and uninformed of; or inattentive to, the
particular circumstances and situations of the company, he vents it
indiscriminately; he puts some people out of countenance; he shocks
others; and frightens all, who dread what may come out next. The
most general rule that I can give you for the world, and which your
experience will convince you of the truth of, is, Never to give the
tone to the company, but to take it from them; and to labor more to
put them in conceit with themselves, than to make them admire you.
Those whom you can make like themselves better, will, I promise
you, like you very well.
A system-monger, who, without knowing
anything of the world by experience, has formed a system, of it in
his dusty cell, lays it down, for example, that (from the general
nature of mankind) flattery is pleasing. He will therefore flatter.
But how? Why, indiscriminately. And instead of repairing and
heightening the piece judiciously, with soft colors and a delicate
pencil,-with a coarse brush and a great deal of whitewash, he daubs
and besmears the piece he means to adorn. His flattery offends even
his patron; and is almost too gross for his mistress. A man of the
world knows the force of flattery as well as he does; but then he
knows how, when, and where to give it; he proportions his dose to
the constitution of the patient. He flatters by application, by
inference, by comparison, by hint, and seldom directly. In the
course of the world, there is the same difference in everything
between system and practice.
I long to have you at Paris, which is to be
your great school; you will be then in a manner within reach of
me.
Tell me, are you perfectly recovered, or do
you still find any remaining complaint upon your lungs? Your diet
should be cooling, and at the same time nourishing. Milks of all
kinds are proper for you; wines of all kinds bad. A great deal of
gentle, and no violent exercise, is good for you. Adieu. 'Gratia,
fama, et valetudo, contingat, abunde!'
LETTER
CXIX
LONDON, October 22,
O. S. 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: This letter will, I am
persuaded, find you, and I hope safely, arrived at Montpelier; from
whence I trust that Mr. Harte's indisposition will, by being
totally removed, allow you to get to Paris before Christmas. You
will there find two people who, though both English, I recommend in
the strongest manner possible to your attention; and advise you to
form the most intimate connections with them both, in their
different ways. The one is a man whom you already know something
of, but not near enough: it is the Earl of Huntingdon; who, next to
you, is the truest object of my affection and esteem; and who (I am
proud to say it) calls me, and considers me as his adopted father.
His parts are as quick as his knowledge is extensive; and if
quality were worth putting into an account, where every other item
is so much more valuable, he is the first almost in this country:
the figure he will make in it, soon after he returns to it, will,
if I am not more mistaken than ever I was in my life, equal his
birth and my hopes. Such a connection will be of infinite advantage
to you; and, I can assure you, that he is extremely disposed to
form it upon my account; and will, I hope and believe, desire to
improve and cement it upon your own.
In our parliamentary government, connections
are absolutely necessary; and, if prudently formed and ably
maintained, the success of them is infallible. There are two sorts
of connections, which I would always advise you to have in view.
The first I will call equal ones; by which I mean those, where the
two connecting parties reciprocally find their account, from pretty
near an equal degree of parts and abilities. In those, there must
be a freer communication; each must see that the other is able, and
be convinced that he is willing to be of use to him. Honor must be
the principle of such connections; and there must be a mutual
dependence, that present and separate interest shall not be able to
break them. There must be a joint system of action; and, in case of
different opinions, each must recede a little, in order at last to
form an unanimous one. Such, I hope, will be your connection with
Lord Huntingdon. You will both come into parliament at the same
time; and if you have an equal share of abilities and application,
you and he, with other young people, with whom you will naturally
associate, may form a band which will be respected by any
administration, and make a figure in the public. The other sort of
connections I call unequal ones; that is, where the parts are all
on one side, and the rank and fortune on the other. Here, the
advantage is all on one side; but that advantage must be ably and
artfully concealed. Complaisance, an engaging manner, and a patient
toleration of certain airs of superiority, must cement them. The
weaker party must be taken by the heart, his head giving no hold;
and he must be governed by being made to believe that he governs.
These people, skillfully led, give great weight to their leader. I
have formerly pointed out to you a couple that I take to be proper
objects for your skill; and you will meet with twenty more, for
they are very rife.
The other person whom I recommended to you
is a woman; not as a woman, for that is not immediately my
business; besides, I fear that she is turned of fifty. It is Lady
Hervey, whom I directed you to call upon at Dijon, but who, to my
great joy, because to your great advantage, passes all this winter
at Paris. She has been bred all her life at courts; of which she
has acquired all the easy good-breeding and politeness, without the
frivolousness. She has all the reading that a woman should have;
and more than any woman need have; for she understands Latin
perfectly well, though she wisely conceals it. As she will look
upon you as her son, I desire that you will look upon her as my
delegate: trust, consult, and apply to her without reserve. No
woman ever had more than she has, 'le ton de la parfaitement bonne
compagnie, les manieres engageantes, et le je ne sais quoi qui
plait'. Desire her to reprove and correct any, and every, the least
error and inaccuracy in your manners, air, address, etc. No woman
in Europe can do it so well; none will do it more willingly, or in
a more proper and obliging manner. In such a case she will not put
you out of countenance, by telling you of it in company; but either
intimate it by some sign, or wait for an opportunity when you are
alone together. She is also in the best French company, where she
will not only introduce but PUFF you, if I may use so low a word.
And I can assure you that it is no little help, in the 'beau
monde', to be puffed there by a fashionable woman. I send you the
inclosed billet to carry her, only as a certificate of the identity
of your person, which I take it for granted she could not know
again.
You would be so much surprised to receive a
whole letter from me without any mention of the exterior ornaments
necessary for a gentleman, as manners, elocution, air, address,
graces, etc., that, to comply with your expectations, I will touch
upon them; and tell you, that when you come to England, I will show
you some people, whom I do not now care to name, raised to the
highest stations singly by those exterior and adventitious
ornaments, whose parts would never have entitled them to the
smallest office in the excise. Are they then necessary, and worth
acquiring, or not? You will see many instances of this kind at
Paris, particularly a glaring one, of a person-[M. le Marechal de
Richelieu]-raised to the highest posts and dignities in France, as
well as to be absolute sovereign of the 'beau monde', simply by the
graces of his person and address; by woman's chit-chat, accompanied
with important gestures; by an imposing air and pleasing abord.
Nay, by these helps, he even passes for a wit, though he hath
certainly no uncommon share of it. I will not name him, because it
would be very imprudent in you to do it. A young fellow, at his
first entrance into the 'beau monde', must not offend the king 'de
facto' there. It is very often more necessary to conceal contempt
than resentment, the former forgiven, but the latter sometimes
forgot.
There is a small quarto book entitled,
'Histoire Chronologique de la France', lately published by Le
President Henault, a man of parts and learning, with whom you will
probably get acquainted at Paris. I desire that it may always lie
upon your table, for your recourse as often as you read history.
The chronology, though chiefly relative to the history of France,
is not singly confined to it; but the most interesting events of
all the rest of Europe are also inserted, and many of them adorned
by short, pretty, and just reflections. The new edition of 'Les
Memoires de Sully', in three quarto volumes, is also extremely well
worth your reading, as it will give you a clearer, and truer notion
of one of the most interesting periods of the French history, than
you can yet have formed from all the other books you may have read
upon the subject. That prince, I mean Henry the Fourth, had all the
accomplishments and virtues of a hero, and of a king, and almost of
a man. The last are the most rarely seen. May you possess them all!
Adieu.
Pray make my compliments to Mr. Harte, and
let him know that I have this moment received his letter of the
12th, N. S., from Antibes. It requires no immediate answer; I shall
therefore delay mine till I have another from him. Give him the
inclosed, which I have received from Mr. Eliot.
LETTER
CXX
LONDON, November 1,
O. S. 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: I hope that this letter will
not find you still at Montpelier, but rather be sent after you from
thence to Paris, where, I am persuaded, that Mr. Harte could find
as good advice for his leg as at Montpelier, if not better; but if
he is of a different opinion, I am sure you ought to stay there, as
long as he desires.
While you are in France, I could wish that
the hours you allot for historical amusement should be entirely
devoted to the history of France. One always reads history to most
advantage in that country to which it is relative; not only books,
but persons being ever at hand to solve doubts and clear up
difficulties. I do by no means advise you to throw away your time
in ransacking, like a dull antiquarian, the minute and unimportant
parts of remote and fabulous times. Let blockheads read what
blockheads wrote. And a general notion of the history of France,
from the conquest of that country by the Franks, to the reign of
Louis the Eleventh, is sufficient for use, consequently sufficient
for you. There are, however, in those remote times, some remarkable
eras that deserve more particular attention; I mean those in which
some notable alterations happened in the constitution and form of
government. As, for example, in the settlement of Clovis in Gaul,
and the form of government which he then established; for, by the
way; that form of government differed in this particular from all
the other Gothic governments, that the people, neither collectively
nor by representatives, had any share in it. It was a mixture of
monarchy and aristocracy: and what were called the States General
of France consisted only of the nobility and clergy till the time
of Philip le Bel, in the very beginning of the fourteenth century,
who first called the people to those assemblies, by no means for
the good of the people, who were only amused by this pretended
honor, but, in truth, to check the nobility and clergy, and induce
them to grant the money he wanted for his profusion; this was a
scheme of Enguerrand de Marigny, his minister, who governed both
him and his kingdom to such a degree as to, be called the coadjutor
and governor of the kingdom. Charles Martel laid aside these
assemblies, and governed by open force. Pepin restored them, and
attached them to him, and with them the nation; by which means he
deposed Childeric and mounted the throne. This is a second period
worth your attention. The third race of kings, which begins with
Hugues Capet, is a third period. A judicious reader of history will
save himself a great deal of time and trouble by attending with
care only to those interesting periods of history which furnish
remarkable events, and make eras, and going slightly over the
common run of events. Some people read history as others read the
"Pilgrim's Progress"; giving equal attention to, and
indiscriminately loading their memories with every part alike. But
I would have you read it in a different manner; take the shortest
general history you can find of every country; and mark down in
that history the most important periods, such as conquests, changes
of kings, and alterations of the form of government; and then have
recourse to more extensive histories or particular treatises,
relative to those great points. Consider them well, trace up their
causes, and follow their consequences. For instance, there is a
most excellent, though very short history of France, by Le Gendre.
Read that with attention, and you will know enough of the general
history; but when you find there such remarkable periods as are
above mentioned, consult Mezeray, and other of the best and
minutest historians, as well as political treatises upon those
subjects. In later times, memoirs, from those of Philip de
Commines, down to the innumerble ones in the reign of Louis the
Fourteenth, have been of great use, and thrown great light upon
particular parts of history.
Conversation in France, if you have the
address and dexterity to turn it upon useful subjects, will
exceedingly improve your historical knowledge; for people there,
however classically ignorant they may be, think it a shame to be
ignorant of the history of their own country: they read that, if
they read nothing else, and having often read nothing else, are
proud of having read that, and talk of it willingly; even the women
are well instructed in that sort of reading. I am far from meaning
by this that you should always be talking wisely in company, of
books, history, and matters of knowledge. There are many companies
which you will, and ought to keep, where such conversations would
be misplaced and ill-timed; your own good sense must distinguish
the company and the time. You must trifle only with triflers; and
be serious only with the serious, but dance to those who pipe. 'Cur
in theatrum Cato severs venisti?' was justly said to an old man:
how much more so would it be to one of your age? From the moment
that you are dressed and go out, pocket all your knowledge with
your watch, and never pull it out in company unless desired: the
producing of the one unasked, implies that you are weary of the
company; and the producing of the other unrequired, will make the
company weary of you. Company is a republic too jealous of its
liberties, to suffer a dictator even for a quarter of an hour; and
yet in that, as in republics, there are some few who really govern;
but then it is by seeming to disclaim, instead of attempting to
usurp the power; that is the occasion in which manners, dexterity,
address, and the undefinable 'je ne sais quoi' triumph; if properly
exerted, their conquest is sure, and the more lasting for not being
perceived. Remember, that this is not only your first and greatest,
but ought to be almost your only object, while you are in
France.
I know that many of your countrymen are apt
to call the freedom and vivacity of the French petulancy and
illbreeding; but, should you think so, I desire upon many accounts
that you will not say so; I admit that it may be so in some
instances of 'petits maitres Etourdis', and in some young people
unbroken to the world; but I can assure you, that you will find it
much otherwise with people of a certain rank and age, upon whose
model you will do very well to form yourself. We call their steady
assurance, impudence why? Only because what we call modesty is
awkward bashfulness and 'mauvaise honte'. For my part, I see no
impudence, but, on the contrary, infinite utility and advantage in
presenting one's self with the same coolness and unconcern in any
and every company. Till one can do that, I am very sure that one
can never present one's self well. Whatever is done under concern
and embarrassment, must be ill done, and, till a man is absolutely
easy and unconcerned in every company, he will never be thought to
have kept good company, nor be very welcome in it. A steady
assurance, with seeming modesty, is possibly the most useful
qualification that a man can have in every part of life. A man
would certainly make a very considerable fortune and figure in the
world, whose modesty and timidity should often, as bashfulness
always does (put him in the deplorable and lamentable situation of
the pious AEneas, when 'obstupuit, steteruntque comae; et vox
faucibus haesit!). Fortune (as well as women)-
"-----born to be controlled,
Stoops to the forward and the bold."
Assurance and intrepidity, under the white
banner of seeming modesty, clear the way for merit, that would
otherwise be discouraged by difficulties in its journey; whereas
barefaced impudence is the noisy and blustering harbinger of a
worthless and senseless usurper.
You will think that I shall never have done
recommending to you these exterior worldly accomplishments, and you
will think right, for I never shall; they are of too great
consequence to you for me to be indifferent or negligent about
them: the shining part of your future figure and fortune depends
now wholly upon them. These are the acquisitions which must give
efficacy and success to those you have already made. To have it
said and believed that you are the most learned man in England,
would be no more than was said and believed of Dr. Bentley; but to
have it said, at the same time, that you are also the best-bred,
most polite, and agreeable man in the kingdom, would be such a
happy composition of a character as I never yet knew any one man
deserve; and which I will endeavor, as well as ardently wish, that
you may. Absolute perfection is, I well know, unattainable; but I
know too, that a man of parts may be unweariedly aiming at it, and
arrive pretty near it. Try, labor, persevere. Adieu.
LETTER
CXXI
LONDON, November 8,
O. S. 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: Before you get to Paris,
where you will soon be left to your own discretion, if you have
any, it is necessary that we should understand one another
thoroughly; which is the most probable way of preventing disputes.
Money, the cause of much mischief in the world, is the cause of
most quarrels between fathers and sons; the former commonly
thinking that they cannot give too little, and the latter, that
they cannot have enough; both equally in the wrong. You must do me
the justice to acknowledge, that I have hitherto neither stinted
nor grudged any expense that could be of use or real pleasure to
you; and I can assure you, by the way, that you have traveled at a
much more considerable expense than I did myself; but I never so
much as thought of that, while Mr. Harte was at the head of your
finances; being very sure that the sums granted were scrupulously
applied to the uses for which they were intended. But the case will
soon be altered, and you will be your own receiver and treasurer.
However, I promise you, that we will not quarrel singly upon the
quantum, which shall be cheerfully and freely granted: the
application and appropriation of it will be the material point,
which I am now going to clear up and finally settle with you. I
will fix, or even name, no settled allowance; though I well know in
my own mind what would be the proper one; but I will first try your
draughts, by which I can in a good degree judge of your conduct.
This only I tell you in general, that if the channels through which
my money is to go are the proper ones, the source shall not be
scanty; but should it deviate into dirty, muddy, and obscure ones
(which by the bye, it cannot do for a week without my knowing it);
I give you fair and timely notice, that the source will instantly
be dry. Mr. Harte, in establishing you at Paris, will point out to
you those proper channels; he will leave you there upon the foot of
a man of fashion, and I will continue you upon the same; you will
have your coach, your valet de chambre, your own footman, and a
valet de place; which, by the way, is one servant more than I had.
I would have you very well dressed, by which I mean dressed as the
generality of people of fashion are; that is, not to be taken
notice of, for being either more or less fine than other people: it
is by being well dressed, not finely dressed, that a gentleman
should be distinguished. You must frequent 'les spectacles', which
expense I shall willingly supply. You must play 'a des petits jeux
de commerce' in mixed companies; that article is trifling; I shall
pay it cheerfully. All the other articles of pocket-money are very
inconsiderable at Paris, in comparison of what they are here, the
silly custom of giving money wherever one dines or sups, and the
expensive importunity of subscriptions, not being yet introduced
there. Having thus reckoned up all the decent expenses of a
gentleman, which I will most readily defray, I come now to those
which I will neither bear nor supply. The first of these is gaming,
of which, though I have not the least reason to suspect you, I
think it necessary eventually to assure you, that no consideration
in the world shall ever make me pay your play debts; should you
ever urge to me that your honor is pawned, I should most immovably
answer you, that it was your honor, not mine, that was pawned; and
that your creditor might e'en take the pawn for the debt.
Low company, and low pleasures, are always
much more costly than liberal and elegant ones. The disgraceful
riots of a tavern are much more expensive, as well as dishonorable,
than the sometimes pardonable excesses in good company. I must
absolutely hear of no tavern scrapes and squabbles.
I come now to another and very material
point; I mean women; and I will not address myself to you upon this
subject, either in a religious, a moral, or a parental style. I
will even lay aside my age, remember yours, and speak to you as one
man of pleasure, if he had parts too, would speak to another. I
will by no means pay for whores, and their never-failing
consequences, surgeons; nor will I, upon any account, keep singers,
dancers, actresses, and 'id genus omne'; and, independently of the
expense, I must tell you, that such connections would give me, and
all sensible people, the utmost contempt for your parts and
address; a young fellow must have as little sense as address, to
venture, or more properly to sacrifice, his health and ruin his
fortune, with such sort of creatures; in such a place as Paris
especially, where gallantry is both the profession and the practice
of every woman of fashion. To speak plainly, I will not forgive
your understanding c----s and p----s; nor will your constitution
forgive them you. These distempers, as well as their cures, fall
nine times in ten upon the lungs. This argument, I am sure, ought
to have weight with you: for I protest to you, that if you meet
with any such accident, I would not give one year's purchase for
your life. Lastly, there is another sort of expense that I will not
allow, only because it is a silly one; I mean the fooling away your
money in baubles at toy shops. Have one handsome snuff-box (if you
take snuff), and one handsome sword; but then no more pretty and
very useless things.
By what goes before, you will easily
perceive that I mean to allow you whatever is necessary, not only
for the figure, but for the pleasures of a gentleman, and not to
supply the profusion of a rake. This, you must confess, does not
savor of either the severity or parsimony of old age. I consider
this agreement between us, as a subsidiary treaty on my part, for
services to be performed on yours. I promise you, that I will be as
punctual in the payment of the subsidies, as England has been
during the last war; but then I give you notice at the same time,
that I require a much more scrupulous execution of the treaty on
your part, than we met with on that of our allies; or else that
payment will be stopped. I hope all that I have now said was
absolutely unnecessary, and that sentiments more worthy and more
noble than pecuniary ones, would of themselves have pointed out to
you the conduct I recommend; but, at all events, I resolved to be
once for all explicit with you, that, in the worst that can happen,
you may not plead ignorance, and complain that I had not
sufficiently explained to you my intentions.
Having mentioned the word rake, I must say a
word or two more on that subject, because young people too
frequently, and always fatally, are apt to mistake that character
for that of a man of pleasure; whereas, there are not in the world
two characters more different. A rake is a composition of all the
lowest, most ignoble, degrading, and shameful vices; they all
conspire to disgrace his character, and to ruin his fortune; while
wine and the p----s contend which shall soonest and most
effectually destroy his constitution. A dissolute, flagitious
footman, or porter, makes full as good a rake as a man of the first
quality. By the bye, let me tell you, that in the wildest part of
my youth, I never was a rake, but, on the contrary, always detested
and despised that character.
A man of pleasure, though not always so
scrupulous as he should be, and as one day he will wish he had
been, refines at least his pleasures by taste, accompanies them
with decency, and enjoys them with dignity. Few men can be men of
pleasure, every man may be a rake. Remember that I shall know
everything you say or do at Paris, as exactly as if, by the force
of magic, I could follow you everywhere, like a sylph or a gnome,
invisible myself. Seneca says, very prettily, that one should ask
nothing of God, but what one should be willing that men should
know; nor of men, but what one should be willing that God should
know. I advise you to say and do nothing at Paris, but what you
would be willing that I should know. I hope, nay, I believe, that
will be the case. Sense, I dare say, you do not want; instruction,
I am sure, you have never wanted: experience you are daily gaining:
all which together must inevitably (I should think) make you both
'respectable et aimable', the perfection of a human character. In
that case nothing shall be wanting on my part, and you shall
solidly experience all the extent and tenderness of my affection
for you; but dread the reverse of both! Adieu!
P. S. When you get to Paris, after you have
been to wait on Lord Albemarle, go to see Mr. Yorke, whom I have
particular reasons for desiring that you should be well with, as I
shall hereafter explain to you. Let him know that my orders, and
your own inclinations, conspired to make you desire his friendship
and protection.
LETTER
CXXII
MY DEAR FRIEND: I have sent you so many
preparatory letters for Paris, that this, which will meet you
there, shall only be a summary of them all.
You have hitherto had more liberty than
anybody of your age ever had; and I must do you the justice to own,
that you have made a better use of it than most people of your age
would have done; but then, though you had not a jailer, you had a
friend with you. At Paris, you will not only be unconfined, but
unassisted. Your own good sense must be your only guide: I have
great confidence in it, and am convinced that I shall receive just
such accounts of your conduct at Paris as I could wish; for I tell
you beforehand, that I shall be most minutely informed of all that
you do, and almost of all that you say there. Enjoy the pleasures
of youth, you cannot do better: but refine and dignify them like a
man, of parts; let them raise, and not sink; let them adorn and not
vilify your character; let them, in short, be the pleasures of a
gentleman, and taken with your equals at least, but rather with
your superiors, and those chiefly French.
Inquire into the characters of the several
Academicians, before you form a connection with any of them; and be
most upon your guard against those who make the most court to
you.
You cannot study much in the Academy; but
you may study usefully there, if you are an economist of your time,
and bestow only upon good books those quarters and halves of hours,
which occur to everybody in the course of almost every day; and
which, at the year's end, amount to a very considerable sum of
time. Let Greek, without fail, share some part of every day; I do
not mean the Greek poets, the catches of Anacreon, or the tender
complaints of Theocritus, or even the porter-like language of
Homer's heroes; of whom all smatterers in Greek know a little,
quote often, and talk of always; but I mean Plato, Aristoteles,
Demosthenes, and Thucydides, whom none but adepts know. It is Greek
that must distinguish you in the learned world, Latin alone will
not: and Greek must be sought to be retained, for it never occurs
like Latin. When you read history or other books of amusement, let
every language you are master of have its turn, so that you may not
only retain, but improve in everyone. I also desire that you will
converse in German and Italian, with all the Germans and the
Italians with whom you converse at all. This will be a very
agreeable and flattering thing to them, and a very useful one to
you.
Pray apply yourself diligently to your
exercises; for though the doing them well is not supremely
meritorious, the doing them ill is illiberal, vulgar, and
ridiculous.
I recommend theatrical representations to
you; which are excellent at Paris. The tragedies of Corneille and
Racine, and the comedies of Moliere, well attended to, are
admirable lessons, both for the heart and the head. There is not,
nor ever was, any theatre comparable to the French. If the music of
the French operas does not please your Italian ear, the words of
them, at least, are sense and poetry, which is much more than I
can, say of any Italian opera that I ever read or heard in my
life.
I send you the inclosed letter of
recommendation to Marquis Matignon, which I would have you deliver
to him as soon as you can; you will, I am sure, feel the good
effects of his warm friendship for me and Lord Bolingbroke, who has
also wrote to him upon your subject. By that, and by the other
letters which I have sent you, you will be at once so thoroughly
introduced into the best French company, that you must take some
pains if you will keep bad; but that is what I do not suspect you
of. You have, I am sure, too much right ambition to prefer low and
disgraceful company to that of your superiors, both in rank and
age. Your character, and consequently your fortune, absolutely
depends upon the company you keep, and the turn you take at Paris.
I do not in the least mean a grave turn; on the contrary, a gay, a
sprightly, but, at the same time, an elegant and liberal one.
Keep carefully out of all scrapes and
quarrels. They lower a character extremely; and are particularly
dangerous in France; where a man is dishonored by not resenting an
affront, and utterly ruined by resenting it. The young Frenchmen
are hasty, giddy, and petulant; extremely national, and
'avantageux'. Forbear from any national jokes or reflections, which
are always improper, and commonly unjust. The colder northern
nations generally look upon France as a whistling, singing,
dancing, frivolous nation; this notion is very far from being a
true one, though many 'Petits maitres' by their behavior seem to
justify it; but those very 'petits maltres', when mellowed by age
and experience, very often turn out very able men. The number of
great generals and statesmen, as well as excellent authors, that
France has produced, is an undeniable proof, that it is not that
frivolous, unthinking, empty nation that northern prejudices
suppose it. Seem to like and approve of everything at first, and I
promise you that you will like and approve of many things
afterward.
I expect that you will write to me
constantly, once every week, which I desire may be every Thursday;
and that your letters may inform me of your personal transactions:
not of what you see, but of whom you see, and what you do.
Be your own monitor, now that you will have
no other. As to enunciation, I must repeat it to you again and
again, that there is no one thing so necessary: all other talents,
without that, are absolutely useless, except in your own
closet.
It sounds ridiculously to bid you study with
your dancing-master; and yet I do. The bodily-carriage and graces
are of infinite consequence to everybody, and more particularly to
you.
Adieu for this time, my dear child. Yours
tenderly.
LETTER
CXXIII
LONDON, November
12, O. S. 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: You will possibly think,
that this letter turns upon strange, little, trifling objects; and
you will think right, if you consider them separately; but if you
take them aggregately, you will be convinced that as parts, which
conspire to form that whole, called the exterior of a man of
fashion, they are of importance. I shall not dwell now upon these
personal graces, that liberal air, and that engaging address, which
I have so often recommended to you; but descend still lower, to
your dress, cleanliness, and care of your person.
When you come to Paris, you may take care to
be extremely well dressed; that is, as the fashionable people are;
this does by no means consist in the finery, but in the taste,
fitness, and manner of wearing your clothes; a fine suit ill-made,
and slatternly or stiffly worn, far from adorning, only exposes the
awkwardness of the wearer. Get the best French tailor to make your
clothes, whatever they are, in the fashion, and to fit you: and
then wear them, button them, or unbutton them, as the genteelest
people you see do. Let your man learn of the best friseur to do
your hair well, for that is a very material part of your dress.
Take care to have your stockings well gartered up, and your shoes
well buckled; for nothing gives a more slovenly air to a man than
ill-dressed legs. In your person you must be accurately clean; and
your teeth, hands, and nails, should be superlatively so; a dirty
mouth has real ill consequences to the owner, for it infallibly
causes the decay, as well as the intolerable pain of the teeth, and
it is very offensive to his acquaintance, for it will most
inevitably stink. I insist, therefore, that you wash your teeth the
first thing you do every morning, with a soft sponge and swarm
water, for four or five minutes; and then wash your mouth five or
six times. Mouton, whom I desire you will send for upon your
arrival at Paris, will give you an opiate, and a liquor to be used
sometimes. Nothing looks more ordinary, vulgar, and illiberal, than
dirty hands, and ugly, uneven, and ragged nails: I do not suspect
you of that shocking, awkward trick, of biting yours; but that is
not enough: you must keep the ends of them smooth and clean, not
tipped with black, as the ordinary people's always are. The ends of
your nails should be small segments of circles, which, by a very
little care in the cutting, they are very easily brought to; every
time that you wipe your hands, rub the skin round your nails
backward, that it may not grow up, and shorten your nails too much.
The cleanliness of the rest of your person, which, by the way, will
conduce greatly to your health, I refer from time to time to the
bagnio. My mentioning these particulars arises (I freely own) from
some suspicion that the hints are not unnecessary; for, when you
were a schoolboy, you were slovenly and dirty above your fellows. I
must add another caution, which is that upon no account whatever,
you put your fingers, as too many people are apt to do, in your
nose or ears. It is the most shocking, nasty, vulgar rudeness, that
can be offered to company; it disgusts one, it turns one's stomach;
and, for my own part, I would much rather know that a man's fingers
were actually in his breech, than see them in his nose. Wash your
ears well every morning, and blow your nose in your handkerchief
whenever you have occasion; but, by the way, without looking at it
afterward. There should be in the least, as well as in the greatest
parts of a gentleman, 'les manieres nobles'. Sense will teach you
some, observation others; attend carefully to the manners, the
diction, the motions, of people of the first fashion, and form your
own upon them. On the other hand, observe a little those of the
vulgar, in order to avoid them: for though the things which they
say or do may be the same, the manner is always totally different:
and in that, and nothing else, consists the characteristic of a man
of fashion. The lowest peasant speaks, moves, dresses, eats, and
drinks, as much as a man of the first fashion, but does them all
quite differently; so that by doing and saying most things in a
manner opposite to that of the vulgar, you have a great chance of
doing and saying them right. There are gradations in awkwardness
and vulgarism, as there are in everything else. 'Les manieres de
robe', though not quite right, are still better than 'les manieres
bourgeoises'; and these, though bad, are still better than 'les
manieres de campagne'. But the language, the air, the dress, and
the manners of the court, are the only true standard 'des manieres
nobles, et d'un honnete homme. Ex pede Herculem' is an old and true
saying, and very applicable to our present subject; for a man of
parts, who has been bred at courts, and used to keep the best
company, will distinguish himself, and is to be known from the
vulgar by every word, attitude, gesture, and even look. I cannot
leave these seeming 'minutiae', without repeating to you the
necessity of your carving well; which is an article, little as it
is, that is useful twice every day of one's life; and the doing it
ill is very troublesome to one's self, and very disagreeable, often
ridiculous, to others.
Having said all this, I cannot help
reflecting, what a formal dull fellow, or a cloistered pedant,
would say, if they were to see this letter: they would look upon it
with the utmost contempt, and say that surely a father might find
much better topics for advice to a son. I would admit it, if I had
given you, or that you were capable of receiving, no better; but if
sufficient pains have been taken to form your heart and improve
your mind, and, as I hope, not without success, I will tell those
solid gentlemen, that all these trifling things, as they think
them, collectively, form that pleasing 'je ne sais quoi', that
ensemble, which they are utter strangers to both in themselves and
others. The word aimable is not known in their language, or the
thing in their manners. Great usage of the world, great attention,
and a great desire of pleasing, can alone give it; and it is no
trifle. It is from old people's looking upon these things as
trifles, or not thinking of them at all, that so many young people
are so awkward and so ill-bred. Their parents, often careless and
unmindful of them, give them only the common run of education, as
school, university, and then traveling; without examining, and very
often without being able to judge, if they did examine, what
progress they make in any one of these stages. Then, they
carelessly comfort themselves, and say, that their sons will do
like other people's sons; and so they do, that is, commonly very
ill. They correct none of the childish nasty tricks, which they get
at school; nor the illiberal manners which they contract at the
university; nor the frivolous and superficial pertness, which is
commonly all that they acquire by their travels. As they do not
tell them of these things, nobody else can; so they go on in the
practice of them, without ever hearing, or knowing, that they are
unbecoming, indecent, and shocking. For, as I have often formerly
observed to you, nobody but a father can take the liberty to
reprove a young fellow, grown up, for those kinds of inaccuracies
and improprieties of behavior. The most intimate friendship,
unassisted by the paternal superiority, will not authorize it. I
may truly say, therefore, that you are happy in having me for a
sincere, friendly, and quick-sighted monitor. Nothing will escape
me: I shall pry for your defects, in order to correct them, as
curiously as I shall seek for your perfections, in order to applaud
and reward them, with this difference only, that I shall publicly
mention the latter, and never hint at the former, but in a letter
to, or a tete-d-tete with you. I will never put you out of
countenance before company; and I hope you will never give me
reason to be out of countenance for you, as any one of the
above-mentioned defects would make me. 'Praetor non, curat de
minimis', was a maxim in the Roman law; for causes only of a
certain value were tried by him but there were inferior
jurisdictions, that took cognizance of the smallest. Now I shall
try you, not only as 'praetor' in the greatest, but as 'censor' in
lesser, and as the lowest magistrate in the least cases.
I have this moment received Mr. Harte's
letter of the 1st November, N. S., by which I am very glad to find
that he thinks of moving toward Paris, the end of this month, which
looks as if his leg were better; besides, in my opinion, you both
of you only lose time at Montpelier; he would find better advice,
and you better company, at Paris. In the meantime, I hope you go
into the best company there is at Montpelier; and there always is
some at the Intendant's, or the Commandant's. You will have had
full time to learn 'les petites chansons Languedociennes', which
are exceedingly pretty ones, both words and tunes. I remember, when
I was in those parts, I was surprised at the difference which I
found between the people on one side, and those on the other side
of the Rhone. The Provencaux were, in general, surly, ill-bred,
ugly, and swarthy; the Languedocians the very reverse: a cheerful,
well-bred, handsome people. Adieu! Yours most affectionately.
P. S. Upon reflection, I direct this letter
to Paris; I think you must have left Montpelier before it could
arrive there.
LETTER
CXXIV
LONDON, November
19, O. S. 1750
MY DEAR FRIEND: I was very glad to find by
your letter of the 12th, N. S., that you had informed yourself so
well of the state of the French marine at Toulon, and of the
commerce at Marseilles; they are objects that deserve the inquiry
and attention of every man who intends to be concerned in public
affairs. The French are now wisely attentive to both; their
commerce is incredibly increased within these last thirty years;
they have beaten us out of great part of our Levant trade; their
East India trade has greatly affected ours; and, in the West
Indies, their Martinico establishment supplies, not only France
itself, but the greatest part of Europe, with sugars whereas our
islands, as Jamaica, Barbadoes, and the Leeward, have now no other
market for theirs but England. New France, or Canada, has also
greatly lessened our fur and skin trade. It is true (as you say)
that we have no treaty of commerce subsisting (I do not say WITH
MARSEILLES) but with France. There was a treaty of commerce made
between England and France, immediately after the treaty of
Utrecht; but the whole treaty was conditional, and to depend upon
the parliament's enacting certain things which were stipulated in
two of the articles; the parliament, after a very famous debate,
would not do it; so the treaty fell to the ground: however, the
outlines of that treaty are, by mutual and tacit consent, the
general rules of our present commerce with France. It is true, too,
that our commodities which go to France, must go in our bottoms;
the French having imitated in many respects our famous Act of
Navigation, as it is commonly called. This act was made in the year
1652, in the parliament held by Oliver Cromwell. It forbids all
foreign ships to bring into England any merchandise or commodities
whatsoever, that were not of the growth and produce of that country
to which those ships belonged, under penalty of the forfeiture of
such ships. This act was particularly leveled at the Dutch, who
were at that time the carriers of almost all Europe, and got
immensely by freight. Upon this principle, of the advantages
arising from freight, there is a provision in the same act, that
even the growth and produce of our own colonies in America shall
not be carried from thence to any other country in Europe, without
first touching in England; but this clause has lately been
repealed, in the instances of some perishable commodities, such as
rice, etc., which are allowed to be carried directly from our
American colonies to other countries. The act also provides, that
two-thirds, I think, of those who navigate the said ships shall be
British subjects. There is an excellent, and little book, written
by the famous Monsieur Huet Eveque d'Avranches, 'Sur le Commerce
des Anciens', which is very well worth your reading, and very soon
read. It will give you a clear notion of the rise and progress of
commerce. There are many other books, which take up the history of
commerce where Monsieur d'Avranches leaves it, and bring it down to
these times. I advise you to read some of them with care; commerce
being a very essential part of political knowledge in every
country; but more particularly in that which owes all its riches
and power to it.
I come now to another part of your letter,
which is the orthography, if I may call bad spelling ORTHOGRAPHY.
You spell induce, ENDUCE; and grandeur, you spell grandURE; two
faults of which few of my housemaids would have been guilty. I must
tell you that orthography, in the true sense of the word, is so
absolutely necessary for a man of letters; or a gentleman, that one
false spelling may fix ridicule upon him for the rest of his life;
and I know a man of quality, who never recovered the ridicule of
having spelled WHOLESOME without the w.
Reading with care will secure everybody from
false spelling; for books are always well spelled, according to the
orthography of the times. Some words are indeed doubtful, being
spelled differently by different authors of equal authority; but
those are few; and in those cases every man has his option, because
he may plead his authority either way; but where there is but one
right way, as in the two words above mentioned, it is unpardonable
and ridiculous for a gentleman to miss it; even a woman of a
tolerable education would despise and laugh, at a lover, who should
send her an ill-spelled billet-doux. I fear and suspect, that you
have taken it into your head, in most cases, that the matter is
all, and the manner little or nothing. If you have, undeceive
yourself, and be convinced that, in everything, the manner is full
as important as the matter. If you speak the sense of an angel, in
bad words and with a disagreeable utterance, nobody will hear you
twice, who can help it. If you write epistles as well as Cicero,
but in a very bad hand, and very ill-spelled, whoever receives will
laugh at them; and if you had the figure of Adonis, with an awkward
air and motions, it will disgust instead of pleasing. Study manner,
therefore, in everything, if you would be anything. My principal
inquiries of my friends at Paris, concerning you, will be relative
to your manner of doing whatever you do. I shall not inquire
whether you understand Demosthenes, Tacitus, or the 'Jus Publicum
Imperii'; but I shall inquire, whether your utterance is pleasing,
your style not only pure, but elegant, your manners noble and easy,
your air and address engaging in short, whether you are a
gentleman, a man of fashion, and fit to keep good company, or not;
for, till I am satisfied in these particulars, you and I must by no
means meet; I could not possibly stand it. It is in your power to
become all this at Paris, if you please. Consult with Lady Hervey
and Madame Monconseil upon all these matters; and they will speak
to you, and advise you freely. Tell them, that 'bisogna compatire
ancora', that you are utterly new in the world; that you are
desirous to form yourself; that you beg they will reprove, advise,
and correct you; that you know that none can do it so well; and
that you will implicitly follow their directions. This, together
with your careful observation of the manners of the best company,
will really form you.
Abbe Guasco, a friend of mine, will come to
you as soon as he knows of your arrival at Paris; he is well
received in the best companies there, and will introduce you to
them. He will be desirous to do you any service he can; he is
active and curious, and can give you information upon most things.
He is a sort of 'complaisant' of the President Montesquieu, to whom
you have a letter.
I imagine that this letter will not wait for
you very long at Paris, where I reckon you will be in about a
fortnight. Adieu.
LETTER
CXXV
LONDON, December
24, 1750
DEAR FRIEND: At length you are become a
Parisian, and consequently must be addressed in French; you will
also answer me in the same language, that I may be able to judge of
the degree in which you possess the elegance, the delicacy, and the
orthography of that language which is, in a manner, become the
universal one of Europe. I am assured that you speak it well, but
in that well there are gradations. He, who in the provinces might
be reckoned to speak correctly, would at Paris be looked upon as an
ancient Gaul. In that country of mode, even language is subservient
to fashion, which varies almost as often as their clothes.
The AFFECTED, the REFINED, the NEOLOGICAL,
OR NEW FASHIONABLE STYLE are at present too much in vogue at Paris.
Know, observe, and occasionally converse (if you please) according
to those different styles; but do not let your taste be infected by
them. Wit, too, is there subservient to fashion; and actually, at
Paris, one must have wit, even in despite of Minerva. Everybody
runs after it; although if it does not come naturally and of
itself; it never can be overtaken. But, unfortunately for those who
pursue, they seize upon what they take for wit, and endeavor to
pass it for such upon others. This is, at best, the lot of Ixion,
who embraced a cloud instead of the goddess he pursued. Fine
sentiments, which never existed, false and unnatural thoughts,
obscure and far-sought expressions, not only unintelligible, but
which it is even impossible to decipher, or to guess at, are all
the consequences of this error; and two-thirds of the new French
books which now appear are made up of those ingredients. It is the
new cookery of Parnassus, in which the still is employed instead of
the pot and the spit, and where quintessences and extracts ate
chiefly used. N. B. The Attic salt is proscribed.
You will now and then be obliged to eat of
this new cookery, but do not suffer your taste to be corrupted by
it. And when you, in your turn, are desirous of treating others,
take the good old cookery of Lewis XIV.'s reign for your rule.
There were at that time admirable head cooks, such as Corneille,
Boileau, Racine, and La Fontaine. Whatever they prepared was
simple, wholesome, and solid. But laying aside all metaphors, do
not suffer yourself to be dazzled by false brilliancy, by unnatural
expressions, nor by those antitheses so much in fashion: as a
protection against such innovations, have a recourse to your own
good sense, and to the ancient authors. On the other hand, do not
laugh at those who give into such errors; you are as yet too young
to act the critic, or to stand forth a severe avenger of the
violated rights of good sense. Content yourself with not being
perverted, but do not think of converting others; let them quietly
enjoy their errors in taste, as well as in religion. Within the
course of the last century and a half, taste in France has (as well
as that kingdom itself) undergone many vicissitudes. Under the
reign of I do not say Lewis XIII. but of Cardinal de Richelieu,
good taste first began to make its way. It was refined under that
of Lewis XIV., a great king, at least, if not a great man.
Corneille was the restorer of true taste, and the founder of the
French theatre; although rather inclined to the Italian 'Concetti'
and the Spanish 'Agudeze'. Witness those epigrams which he makes
Chimene utter in the greatest excess of grief.
Before his time, those kind of itinerant
authors, called troubadours or romanciers, were a species of madmen
who attracted the admiration of fools. Toward the end of Cardinal
de Richelieu's reign, and the beginning of Lewis XIV.'s, the Temple
of Taste was established at the Hotel of Rambouillet; but that
taste was not judiciously refined this Temple of Taste might more
properly have been named a Laboratory of Wit, where good sense was
put to the torture, in order to extract from it the most subtile
essence. There it was that Voiture labored hard and incessantly to
create wit. At length, Boileau and Moliere fixed the standard of
true taste. In spite of the Scuderys, the Calprenedes, etc., they
defeated and put to flight ARTAMENES, JUBA, OROONDATES, and all
those heroes of romance, who were, notwithstanding (each of them),
as good as a whole Army. Those madmen then endeavored to obtain an
asylum in libraries; this they could not accomplish, but were under
a necessity of taking shelter in the chambers of some few ladies. I
would have you read one volume of "Cleopatra," and one of "Clelia";
it will otherwise be impossible for you to form any idea of the
extravagances they contain; but God keep you from ever persevering
to the twelfth.
During almost the whole reign of Lewis XIV.,
true taste remained in its purity, until it received some hurt,
although undesignedly, from a very fine genius, I mean Monsieur de
Fontenelle; who, with the greatest sense and the most solid
learning, sacrificed rather too much to the Graces, whose most
favorite child and pupil he was. Admired with reason, others tried
to imitate him; but, unfortunately for us, the author of the
"Pastorals," of the "History of Oracles," and of the "French
Theatre," found fewer imitators than the Chevalier d'Her did
mimics. He has since been taken off by a thousand authors: but
never really imitated by anyone that I know of.
At this time, the seat of true taste in
France seems to me not well established. It exists, but torn by
factions. There is one party of petits maitres, one of half-learned
women, another of insipid authors whose works are 'verba et voces,
et praeterea nihil'; and, in short, a numerous and very fashionable
party of writers, who, in a metaphysical jumble, introduce their
false and subtle reasonings upon the movements and the sentiments
of THE SOUL, THE HEART, and THE MIND.
Do not let yourself be overpowered by
fashion, nor by particular sets of people with whom you may be
connected; but try all the different coins before you receive any
in payment. Let your own good sense and reason judge of the value
of each; and be persuaded, that NOTHING CAN BE BEAUTIFUL UNLESS
TRUE: whatever brilliancy is not the result of the solidity and
justness of a thought, it is but a false glare. The Italian saying
upon a diamond is equally just with regard to thoughts, 'Quanto Piu
sodezza, tanto piu splendore'.
All this ought not to hinder you from
conforming externally to the modes and tones of the different
companies in which you may chance to be. With the 'petits maitres'
speak epigrams; false sentiments, with frivolous women; and a
mixture of all these together, with professed beaux esprits. I
would have you do so; for at your age you ought not to aim at
changing the tone of the company, but conform to it. Examine well,
however; weigh all maturely within yourself; and do not mistake the
tinsel of Tasso for the gold of Virgil.
You will find at Paris good authors, and
circles distinguished by the solidity of their reasoning. You will
never hear TRIFLING, AFFECTED, and far-sought conversations, at
Madame de Monconseil's, nor at the hotels of Matignon and Coigni,
where she will introduce you. The President Montesquieu will not
speak to you in the epigrammatic style. His book, the "Spirit of
the Laws," written in the vulgar tongue, will equally please and
instruct you.
Frequent the theatre whenever Corneille,
Racine, and Moliere's pieces are played. They are according to
nature and to truth. I do not mean by this to give an exclusion to
several admirable modern plays, particularly "Cenie,"-[Imitated in
English by Mr. Francis, in a play called "Eugenia."]-replete with
sentiments that are true, natural, and applicable to one's self. If
you choose to know the characters of people now in fashion, read
Crebillon the younger, and Marivaux's works. The former is a most
excellent painter; the latter has studied, and knows the human
heart, perhaps too well. Crebillon's 'Egaremens du Coeur et de
l'Esprit is an excellent work in its kind; it will be of infinite
amusement to you, and not totally useless. The Japanese history of
"Tanzar and Neadarne," by the same author, is an amiable
extravagancy, interspersed with the most just reflections. In
short, provided you do not mistake the objects of your attention,
you will find matter at Paris to form a good and true taste.
As I shall let you remain at Paris without
any person to direct your conduct, I flatter myself that you will
not make a bad use of the confidence I repose in you. I do not
require that you should lead the life of a Capuchin friar; quite
the contrary: I recommend pleasures to you; but I expect that they
shall be the pleasures of a gentleman. Those add brilliancy to a
young man's character; but debauchery vilifies and degrades it. I
shall have very true and exact accounts of your conduct; and,
according to the informations I receive, shall be more, or less, or
not at all, yours. Adieu.
P. S. Do not omit writing to me once a-week;
and let your answer to this letter be in French. Connect yourself
as much as possible with the foreign ministers; which is properly
traveling into different countries, without going from one place.
Speak Italian to all the Italians, and German to all the Germans
you meet, in order not to forget those two languages.
I wish you, my dear friend, as many happy
new years as you deserve, and not one more. May you deserve a great
number!
1751
LETTER CXXVI
LONDON, January 8, O.S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: By your letter of the 5th,
N. S., I find that your 'debut' at Paris has been a good one; you
are entered into good company, and I dare say you will, not sink
into bad. Frequent the houses where you have been once invited, and
have none of that shyness which makes most of your countrymen
strangers, where they might be intimate and domestic if they
pleased. Wherever you have a general invitation to sup when you
please, profit of it, with decency, and go every now and then. Lord
Albemarle will, I am sure, be extremely kind to you, but his house
is only a dinner house; and, as I am informed, frequented by no
French people. Should he happen to employ you in his bureau, which
I much doubt, you must write a better hand than your common one, or
you will get no credit by your manuscripts; for your hand is at
present an illiberal one; it is neither a hand of business nor of a
gentleman, but the hand of a school-boy writing his exercise, which
he hopes will never be read.
Madame de Monconseil gives me a favorable
account of you; and so do Marquis de Matignon and Madame du
Boccage; they all say that you desire to please, and consequently
promise me that you will; and they judge right; for whoever really
desires to please, and has (as you now have) the means of learning
how, certainly will please and that is the great point of life; it
makes all other things easy. Whenever you are with Madame de
Monconseil, Madame du Boccage, or other women of fashion, with whom
you are tolerably free, say frankly and naturally: "I know little
of the world; I am quite a novice in it; and although very desirous
of pleasing, I am at a loss for the means. Be so good, Madame, as
to let me into your secret of pleasing everybody. I shall owe my
success to it, and you will always have more than falls to your
share." When, in consequence of this request, they shall tell you
of any little error, awkwardness, or impropriety, you should not
only feel, but express the warmest acknowledgment. Though nature
should suffer, and she will at first hearing them, tell them, that
you will look upon the most severe criticisms as the greatest proof
of their friendship. Madame du Boccage tells me, particularly, to
inform you: "I shall always, receive the honor of his visits with
pleasure; it is true, that at his age the pleasures of conversation
are cold; but I will endeavor to make him acquainted with young
people," etc.
Make use of this invitation, and as you
live, in a manner, next door to her, step in and out there
frequently. Monsieur du Boccage will go with you, he tells me, with
great pleasure, to the plays, and point out to you whatever
deserves your knowing there. This is worth your acceptance too; he
has a very good taste. I have not yet heard from Lady Hervey upon
your subject; but as you inform me that you have already supped
with her once, I look upon you as adopted by her; consult her in
all your little matters; tell her any difficulties that may occur
to you; ask her what you should do or say in such or such cases;
she has 'l'usage du monde en perfection', and will help you to
acquire it. Madame de Berkenrode 'est paitrie de graces', and your
quotation is very applicable to her. You may be there, I dare say,
as often as you please, and I would advise you to sup there once a
week.
You say, very justly, that as Mr. Harte is
leaving you, you shall want advice more than ever; you shall never
want mine; and as you have already had so much of it, I must rather
repeat than add to what I have already given you; but that I will
do, and add to it occasionally, as circumstances may require. At
present I shall only remind you of your two great objects, which
you should always attend to; they are parliament and foreign
affairs. With regard to the former, you can do nothing while abroad
but attend carefully to the purity, correctness, and elegance of
your diction; the clearness and gracefulness of your utterance, in
whatever language you speak. As for the parliamentary knowledge, I
will take care of that when you come home. With regard to foreign
affairs, everything you do abroad may and ought to tend that way.
Your reading should be chiefly historical; I do not mean of remote,
dark, and fabulous history, still less of jimcrack natural history
of fossils, minerals, plants, etc., but I mean the useful,
political, and constitutional history of Europe, for these last
three centuries and a half. The other thing necessary for your
foreign object, and not less necessary than either ancient or
modern knowledge, is a great knowledge of the world, manners,
politeness, address, and 'le ton de la bonne compagnie'. In that
view, keeping a great deal of good company, is the principal point
to which you are now to attend. It seems ridiculous to tell you,
but it is most certainly true, that your dancing-master is at this
time the man in all Europe of the greatest importance to you. You
must dance well, in order to sit, stand, and walk well; and you
must do all these well in order to please. What with your
exercises, some reading, and a great deal of company, your day is,
I confess, extremely taken up; but the day, if well employed, is
long enough for everything; and I am sure you will not slattern
away one moment of it in inaction. At your age, people have strong
and active spirits, alacrity and vivacity in all they do; are
'impigri', indefatigable, and quick. The difference is, that a
young fellow of parts exerts all those happy dispositions in the
pursuit of proper objects; endeavors to excel in the solid, and in
the showish parts of life; whereas a silly puppy, or a dull rogue,
throws away all his youth and spirit upon trifles, where he is
serious or upon disgraceful vices, while he aims at pleasures. This
I am sure will not be your case; your good sense and your good
conduct hitherto are your guarantees with me for the future.
Continue only at Paris as you have begun, and your stay there will
make you, what I have always wished you to be, as near perfection
as our nature permits.
Adieu, my dear; remember to write to me once
a-week, not as to a father, but, without reserve, as to a
friend.
LETTER
CXXVII
LONDON, January 14,
O. S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: Among the many good things
Mr. Harte has told me of you, two in particular gave me great
pleasure. The first, that you are exceedingly careful and jealous
of the dignity of your character; that is the sure and solid
foundation upon which you must both stand and rise. A man's moral
character is a more delicate thing than a woman's reputation of
chastity. A slip or two may possibly be forgiven her, and her
character may be clarified by subsequent and continued good
conduct: but a man's moral character once tainted is irreparably
destroyed. The second was, that you had acquired a most correct and
extensive knowledge of foreign affairs, such as the history, the
treaties, and the forms of government of the several countries of
Europe. This sort of knowledge, little attended to here, will make
you not only useful, but necessary, in your future destination, and
carry you very far. He added that you wanted from hence some books
relative to our laws and constitution, our colonies, and our
commerce; of which you know less than of those of any other part of
Europe. I will send you what short books I can find of that sort,
to give you a general notion of those things: but you cannot have
time to go into their depths at present-you cannot now engage with
new folios; you and I will refer the constitutional part of this
country to our meeting here, when we will enter seriously into it,
and read the necessary books together. In the meantime, go on in
the course you are in, of foreign matters; converse with ministers
and others of every country, watch the transactions of every court,
and endeavor to trace them up to their source. This, with your
physics, your geometry, and your exercises, will be all that you
can possibly have time for at Paris; for you must allow a great
deal for company and pleasures: it is they that must give you those
manners, that address, that 'tournure' of the 'beau monde', which
will qualify you for your future destination. You must first
please, in order to get the confidence, and consequently the
secrets, of the courts and ministers for whom and with whom you
negotiate.
I will send you by the first opportunity a
short book written by Lord Bolingbroke, under the name of Sir John
Oldcastle, containing remarks upon the history of England; which
will give you a clear general notion of our constitution, and which
will serve you, at the same time, like all Lord Bolingbroke's
works, for a model of eloquence and style. I will also send you Sir
Josiah Childe's little book upon trade, which may properly be
called the "Commercial Grammar." He lays down the true principles
of commerce, and his conclusions from them are generally very
just.
Since you turn your thoughts a little toward
trade and commerce, which I am very glad you do, I will recommend a
French book to you, which you will easily get at Paris, and which I
take to be the best book in the world of that kind: I mean the
'Dictionnaire de Commerce de Savory', in three volumes in folio;
where you will find every one thing that relates to trade,
commerce, specie, exchange, etc., most clearly stated; and not only
relative to France, but to the whole world. You will easily
suppose, that I do not advise you to read such a book 'tout de
suite'; but I only mean that you should have it at hand, to have
recourse to occasionally.
With this great stock of both useful and
ornamental knowledge, which you have already acquired, and which,
by your application and industry, you are daily increasing, you
will lay such a solid foundation of future figure and fortune, that
if you complete it by all the accomplishments of manners, graces,
etc., I know nothing which you may not aim at, and in time hope
for. Your great point at present at Paris, to which all other
considerations must give way, is to become entirely a man of
fashion: to be well-bred without ceremony, easy without negligence,
steady and intrepid with modesty, genteel without affectation,
insinuating without meanness, cheerful without being noisy, frank
without indiscretion, and secret without mysteriousness; to know
the proper time and place for whatever you say or do, and to do it
with an air of condition all this is not so soon nor so easily
learned as people imagine, but requires observation and time. The
world is an immense folio, which demands a great deal of time and
attention to be read and understood as it ought to be; you have not
yet read above four or five pages of it; and you will have but
barely time to dip now and then in other less important
books.
Lord Albemarle has, I know, wrote {It is a
pleasure for an ordinary mortal to find Lord Chesterfield in
gramatical error-and he did it again in the last sentence of this
paragraph-but this was 1751? D.W.} to a friend of his here, that
you do not frequent him so much as he expected and desired; that he
fears somebody or other has given you wrong impressions of him; and
that I may possibly think, from your being seldom at his house,
that he has been wanting in his attentions to you. I told the
person who told me this, that, on the contrary, you seemed, by your
letters to me, to be extremely pleased with Lord Albemarle's
behavior to you: but that you were obliged to give up dining abroad
during your course of experimental philosophy. I guessed the true
reason, which I believe was, that, as no French people frequent his
house, you rather chose to dine at other places, where you were
likely to meet with better company than your countrymen and you
were in the right of it. However, I would have you show no shyness
to Lord Albemarle, but go to him, and dine with him oftener than it
may be you would wish, for the sake of having him speak well of you
here when he returns. He is a good deal in fashion here, and his
PUFFING you (to use an awkward expression) before you return here,
will be of great use to you afterward. People in general take
characters, as they do most things, upon trust, rather than be at
the trouble of examining them themselves; and the decisions of four
or five fashionable people, in every place, are final, more
particularly with regard to characters, which all can hear, and but
few judge of. Do not mention the least of this to any mortal; and
take care that Lord Albemarle do not suspect that you know anything
of the matter.
Lord Huntingdon and Lord Stormount are, I
hear, arrived at Paris; you have, doubtless, seen them. Lord
Stormount is well spoken of here; however, in your connections, if
you form any with them, show rather a preference to Lord
Huntingdon, for reasons which you will easily guess.
Mr. Harte goes this week to Cornwall, to
take possession of his living; he has been installed at Windsor; he
will return here in about a month, when your literary
correspondence with him will be regularly carried on. Your mutual
concern at parting was a good sign for both.
I have this moment received good accounts of
you from Paris. Go on 'vous etes en bon train'. Adieu.
LETTER
CXXVIII
LONDON, January 21,
O. S.. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: In all my letters from
Paris, I have the pleasure of finding, among many other good
things, your docility mentioned with emphasis; this is the sure way
of improving in those things, which you only want. It is true they
are little, but it is as true too that they are necessary things.
As they are mere matters of usage and mode, it is no disgrace for
anybody of your age to be ignorant of them; and the most
compendious way of learning them is, fairly to avow your ignorance,
and to consult those who, from long usage and experience, know them
best. Good sense and good-nature suggest civility in general; but,
in good-breeding there are a thousand little delicacies, which are
established only by custom; and it is these little elegances of
manners which distinguish a courtier and a man of fashion from the
vulgar. I am assured by different people, that your air is already
much improved; and one of my correspondents makes you the true
French compliment of saying, 'F'ose vous promettre qu'il sera
bientot comme un de nos autres'. However unbecoming this speech may
be in the mouth of a Frenchman, I am very glad that they think it
applicable to you; for I would have you not only adopt, but rival,
the best manners and usages of the place you are at, be they what
they will; that is the versatility of manners which is so useful in
the course of the world. Choose your models well at Paris, and then
rival them in their own way. There are fashionable words, phrases,
and even gestures, at Paris, which are called 'du bon ton'; not to
mention 'certaines Petites politesses et attentions, qui ne sont
rien en elle-memes', which fashion has rendered necessary. Make
yourself master of all these things; and to such a degree, as to
make the French say, 'qu'on diroit que c'est un Francois'; and when
hereafter you shall be at other courts, do the same thing there;
and conform to the fashionable manners and usage of the place; that
is what the French themselves are not apt to do; wherever they go,
they retain their own manners, as thinking them the best; but,
granting them to be so, they are still in the wrong not to conform
to those of the place. One would desire to please, wherever one is;
and nothing is more innocently flattering than an approbation, and
an imitation of the people one converses with.
I hope your colleges with Marcel go on
prosperously. In these ridiculous, though, at the same time, really
important lectures, pray attend, and desire your professor also to
attend, more particularly to the chapter of the arms. It is they
that decide of a man's being genteel or otherwise, more than any
other part of the body. A twist or stiffness in the wrist, will
make any man in Europe look awkward. The next thing to be attended
to is, your coming into a room, and presenting yourself to a
company. This gives the first impression; and the first impression
is often a lasting one. Therefore, pray desire Professor Marcel to
make you come in and go out of his room frequently, and in the
supposition of different companies being there; such as ministers,
women, mixed companies, etc. Those who present themselves well,
have a certain dignity in their air, which, without the least
seeming mixture of pride, at once engages, and is respected.
I should not so often repeat, nor so long
dwell upon such trifles, with anybody that had less solid and
valuable knowledge than you have. Frivolous people attend to those
things, 'par preference'; they know nothing else; my fear with you
is, that, from knowing better things, you should despise these too
much, and think them of much less consequence than they really are;
for they are of a great deal, and more especially to you.
Pleasing and governing women may, in time,
be of great service to you. They often please and govern others. 'A
propos', are you in love with Madame de Berkenrode still, or has
some other taken her place in your affections? I take it for
granted, that 'qua to cumque domat Venus, non erubescendis adurit
ignibus. Un arrangement honnete sied bien a un galant homme'. In
that case I recommend to you the utmost discretion, and the
profoundest silence. Bragging of, hinting at, intimating, or even
affectedly disclaiming and denying such an arrangement will equally
discredit you among men and women. An unaffected silence upon that
subject is the only true medium.
In your commerce with women, and indeed with
men too, 'une certaine douceur' is particularly engaging; it is
that which constitutes that character which the French talk of so
much, and so justly value, I mean 'l'aimable'. This 'douceur' is
not so easily described as felt. It is the compound result of
different things; a complaisance, a flexibility, but not a
servility of manners; an air of softness in the countenance,
gesture, and expression, equally whether you concur or differ with
the person you converse with. Observe those carefully who have that
'douceur' that charms you and others; and your own good sense will
soon enable you to discover the different ingredients of which it
is composed. You must be more particularly attentive to this
'douceur', whenever you are obliged to refuse what is asked of you,
or to say what in itself cannot be very agreeable to those to whom
you say it. It is then the necessary gilding of a disagreeable
pill. 'L'aimable' consists in a thousand of these little things
aggregately. It is the 'suaviter in modo', which I have so often
recommended to you. The respectable, Mr. Harte assures me, you do
not want, and I believe him. Study, then, carefully; and acquire
perfectly, the 'Aimable', and you will have everything.
Abbe Guasco, who is another of your
panegyrists, writes me word that he has taken you to dinner at
Marquis de St. Germain's; where you will be welcome as often as you
please, and the oftener the better. Profit of that, upon the
principle of traveling in different countries, without changing
places. He says, too, that he will take you to the parliament, when
any remarkable cause is to be tried. That is very well; go through
the several chambers of the parliament, and see and hear what they
are doing; join practice and observation to your theoretical
knowledge of their rights and privileges. No Englishman has the
least notion of them.
I need not recommend you to go to the bottom
of the constitutional and political knowledge of countries; for Mr.
Harte tells me that you have a peculiar turn that way, and have
informed yourself most correctly of them.
I must now put some queries to you, as to a
'juris publici peritus', which I am sure you can answer me, and
which I own I cannot answer myself; they are upon a subject now
much talked of.
1st. Are there any particular forms
requisite for the election of a King of the Romans, different from
those which are necessary for the election of an Emperor?
2d. Is not a King of the Romans as legally
elected by the votes of a majority of the electors, as by
two-thirds, or by the unanimity of the electors?
3d. Is there any particular law or
constitution of the empire, that distinguishes, either in matter or
in, form, the election of a King of the Romans from that of an
Emperor? And is not the golden bull of Charles the Fourth equally
the rule for both?
4th. Were there not, at a meeting of a
certain number of the electors (I have forgotten when), some rules
and limitations agreed upon concerning the election of a King of
the Romans? And were those restrictions legal, and did they obtain
the force of law?
How happy am I, my dear child, that I can
apply to you for knowledge, and with a certainty of being rightly
informed! It is knowledge, more than quick, flashy parts, that
makes a man of business. A man who is master of his matter, twill,
with inferior parts, be too hard in parliament, and indeed anywhere
else, for a man of-better parts, who knows his subject but
superficially: and if to his knowledge he joins eloquence and
elocution, he must necessarily soon be at the head of that
assembly; but without those two, no knowledge is sufficient.
Lord Huntingdon writes me word that he has
seen you, and that you have renewed your old
school-acquaintance.
Tell me fairly your opinion of him, and of
his friend Lord Stormount: and also of the other English people of
fashion you meet with. I promise you inviolable secrecy on my part.
You and I must now write to each other -as friends, and without the
least reserve; there will for the future be a thousand-things in my
letters, which I would not have any mortal living but yourself see
or know. Those you will easily distinguish, and neither show nor
repeat; and I will do the same by you.
To come to another subject (for I have a
pleasure in talking over every subject with you): How deep are you
in Italian? Do you understand Ariosto, Tasso, Boccaccio and
Machiavelli? If you do, you know enough of it and may know all the
rest, by reading, when you have time. Little or no business is
written in Italian, except in Italy; and if you know enough of it
to understand the few Italian letters that may in time come in your
way, and to speak Italian tolerably to those very few Italians who
speak no French, give yourself no further trouble about that
language till you happen to have full leisure to perfect yourself
in it. It is not the same with regard to German; your speaking and
writing it well, will particularly distinguish you from every other
man in England; and is, moreover, of great use to anyone who is, as
probably you will be, employed in the Empire. Therefore, pray
cultivate them sedulously, by writing four or five lines of German
every day, and by speaking it to every German you meet with.
You have now got a footing in a great many
good houses at Paris, in which I advise you to make yourself
domestic. This is to be done by a certain easiness of carriage, and
a decent familiarity. Not by way of putting yourself upon the
frivolous footing of being 'sans consequence', but by doing in some
degree, the honors of the house and table, calling yourself 'en
badinant le galopin d'ici', saying to the masters or mistress,
'ceci est de mon departement; je m'en charge; avouez, que je m'en
acquitte a merveille.' This sort of 'badinage' has something
engaging and 'liant' in it, and begets that decent familiarity,
which it is both agreeable and useful to establish in good houses
and with people of fashion. Mere formal visits, dinners, and
suppers, upon formal invitations, are not the thing; they add to no
connection nor information; but it is the easy, careless ingress
and egress at all hours, that forms the pleasing and profitable
commerce of life.
The post is so negligent, that I lose some
letters from Paris entirely, and receive others much later than I
should. To this I ascribe my having received no letter from you for
above a fortnight, which to my impatience seems a long time. I
expect to hear from you once a-week. Mr. Harte is gone to Cornwall,
and will be back in about three weeks. I have a packet of books to
send you by the first opportunity, which I believe will be Mr.
Yorke's return to Paris. The Greek books come from Mr. Harte, and
the English ones from your humble servant. Read Lord Bolingbroke's
with great attention, as well to the style as to the matter. I wish
you could form yourself such a style in every language. Style is
the dress of thoughts; and a well-dressed thought, like a
well-dressed man, appears to great advantage. Yours. Adieu.
LETTER
CXXIX
LONDON, August 28,
O. S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: A bill for ninety pounds
sterling was brought me the other day, said to be drawn upon me by
you: I scrupled paying it at first, not upon account of the sum,
but because you had sent me no letter of advice, which is always
done in those transactions; and still more, because I did not
perceive that you had signed it. The person who presented it,
desired me to look again, and that I should discover your name at
the bottom: accordingly I looked again, and, with the help of my
magnifying glass, did perceive that what I had first taken only for
somebody's mark, was, in truth, your name, written in the worst and
smallest hand I ever saw in my life.
However, I paid it at a venture; though I
would almost rather lose the money, than that such a signature
should be yours. All gentlemen, and all men of business, write
their names always in the same way, that their signature may be so
well known as not to be easily counterfeited; and they generally
sign in rather larger character than their common hand; whereas
your name was in a less, and a worse, than your common writing.
This suggested to me the various accidents which may very probably
happen to you, while you write so ill. For instance, if you were to
write in such a character to the Secretary's office, your letter
would immediately be sent to the decipherer, as containing matters
of the utmost secrecy, not fit to be trusted to the common
character. If you were to write so to an antiquarian, he (knowing
you to be a man of learning) would certainly try it by the Runic,
Celtic, or Sclavonian alphabet, never suspecting it to be a modern
character. And, if you were to send a 'poulet' to a fine woman, in
such a hand, she would think that it really came from the
'poulailler'; which, by the bye, is the etymology of the word
'poulet'; for Henry the Fourth of France used to send billets-doux
to his mistresses by his 'poulailler', under pretense of sending
them chickens; which gave the name of poulets to those short, but
expressive manuscripts. I have often told you that every man who
has the use of his eyes and of his hand, can write whatever hand he
pleases; and it is plain that you can, since you write both the
Greek and German characters, which you never learned of a
writing-master, extremely well, though your common hand, which you
learned of a master, is an exceedingly bad and illiberal one;
equally unfit for business or common use. I do not desire that you
should write the labored, stiff character of a writing-master: a
man of business must write quick and well, and that depends simply
upon use. I would therefore advise you to get some very good
writing-master at Paris, and apply to it for a month only, which
will be sufficient; for, upon my word, the writing of a genteel
plain hand of business is of much more importance than you think.
You will say, it may be, that when you write so very ill, it is
because you are in a hurry, to which I answer, Why are you ever in
a hurry? A man of sense may be in haste, but can never be in a
hurry, because he knows that whatever he does in a hurry, he must
necessarily do very ill. He may be in haste to dispatch an affair,
but he will care not to let that haste hinder his doing it well.
Little minds are in a hurry, when the object proves (as it commonly
does) too big for them; they run, they hare, they puzzle, confound,
and perplex themselves: they want to do everything at once, and
never do it at all. But a man of sense takes the time necessary for
doing the thing he is about, well; and his haste to dispatch a
business only appears by the continuity of his application to it:
he pursues it with a cool steadiness, and finishes it before he
begins any other. I own your time is much taken up, and you have a
great many different things to do; but remember that you had much
better do half of them well and leave the other half undone, than
do them all indifferently. Moreover, the few seconds that are saved
in the course of the day, by writing ill instead of well, do not
amount to an object of time by any means equivalent to the disgrace
or ridicule of writing the scrawl of a common whore. Consider, that
if your very bad writing could furnish me with matter of ridicule,
what will it not do to others who do not view you in that partial
light that I do? There was a pope, I think it was Cardinal Chigi,
who was justly ridiculed for his attention to little things, and
his inability in great ones: and therefore called maximus in
minimis, and minimus in maximis. Why? Because he attended to little
things when he had great ones to do. At this particular period of
your life, and at the place you are now in, you have only little
things to do; and you should make it habitual to you to do them
well, that they may require no attention from you when you have, as
I hope you will have, greater things to mind. Make a good
handwriting familiar to you now, that you may hereafter have
nothing but your matter to think of, when you have occasion to
write to kings and ministers. Dance, dress, present yourself,
habitually well now, that you may have none of those little things
to think of hereafter, and which will be all necessary to be done
well occasionally, when you will have greater things to do.
As I am eternally thinking of everything
that can be relative to you, one thing has occurred to me, which I
think necessary to mention to you, in order to prevent the
difficulties which it might otherwise lay you under; it is this as
you get more acquaintances at Paris, it will be impossible for you
to frequent your first acquaintances so much as you did, while you
had no others. As, for example, at your first 'debut', I suppose
you were chiefly at Madame Monconseil's, Lady Hervey's, and Madame
du Boccage's. Now, that you have got so many other houses, you
cannot be at theirs so often as you used; but pray take care not to
give them the least reason to think that you neglect, or despise
them, for the sake of new and more dignified and shining
acquaintances; which would be ungrateful and imprudent on your
part, and never forgiven on theirs. Call upon them often, though
you do not stay with them so long as formerly; tell them that you
are sorry you are obliged to go away, but that you have such and
such engagements, with which good-breeding obliges you to comply;
and insinuate that you would rather stay with them. In short, take
care to make as many personal friends, and as few personal enemies,
as possible. I do not mean, by personal friends, intimate and
confidential friends, of which no man can hope to have half a dozen
in the whole course of his life; but I mean friends, in the common
acceptation of the word; that is, people who speak well of you, and
who would rather do you good than harm, consistently with their own
interest, and no further. Upon the whole, I recommend to you, again
and again, 'les Graces'. Adorned by them, you may, in a manner, do
what you please; it will be approved of; without them, your best
qualities will lose half their efficacy. Endeavor to be fashionable
among the French, which will soon make you fashionable here.
Monsieur de Matignon already calls you 'le petit Francois'. If you
can get that name generally at Paris, it will put you 'a la mode'.
Adieu, my dear child.
LETTER
CXXX
LONDON, February 4,
O. S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: The accounts which I receive
of you from Paris grow every day more and more satisfactory. Lord
Albemarle has wrote a sort of panegyric of you, which has been seen
by many people here, and which will be a very useful forerunner for
you. Being in fashion is an important point for anybody anywhere;
but it would be a very great one for you to be established in the
fashion here before you return. Your business will be half done by
it, as I am sure you would not give people reason to change their
favorable presentiments of you. The good that is said of you will
not, I am convinced, make you a coxcomb; and, on the other hand,
the being thought still to want some little accomplishments, will,
I am persuaded, not mortify you, but only animate you to acquire
them: I will, therefore, give you both fairly, in the following
extract of a letter which I lately received from an impartial and
discerning friend:-
"Permit me to assure you, Sir, that Mr.
Stanhope will succeed. He has a great fund of knowledge, and an
uncommonly good memory, although he does not make any parade of
either the one or the other. He is desirous of pleasing, and he
will please. He has an expressive countenance; his figure is
elegant, although little. He has not the least awkwardness, though
he has not as yet acquired all-the graces requisite; which Marcel
and the ladies will soon give him. In short, he wants nothing but
those things, which, at his age, must unavoidably be wanting; I
mean, a certain turn and delicacy of manners, which are to be
acquired only by time, and in good company. Ready as he is, he will
soon learn them; particularly as he frequents such companies as are
the most proper to give them."
By this extract, which I can assure you is a
faithful one, you and I have both of us the satisfaction of knowing
how much you have, and how little you want. Let what you have give
you (if possible) rather more SEEMING modesty, but at the same time
more interior firmness and assurance; and let what you want, which
you see is very attainable, redouble your attention and endeavors
to acquire it. You have, in truth, but that one thing to apply to
and a very pleasing application it is, since it is through
pleasures you must arrive at it. Company, suppers, balls,
spectacles, which show you the models upon which you should form
yourself, and all the little usages, customs, and delicacies, which
you must adopt and make habitual to you, are now your only schools
and universities; in which young fellows and fine women will give
you the best lectures.
Monsieur du Boccage is another of your
panegyrists; and he tells me that Madame Boccage 'a pris avec vous
le ton de mie et de bonne'; and that you like it very well. You are
in the right of it; it is the way of improving; endeavor to be upon
that footing with every woman you converse with; excepting where
there may be a tender point of connection; a point which I have
nothing to do with; but if such a one there is, I hope she has not
'de mauvais ni de vilains bras', which I agree with you in thinking
a very disagreeable thing.
I have sent you, by the opportunity of
Pollok the courier, who was once my servant, two little parcels of
Greek and English books; and shall send you two more by Mr. Yorke:
but I accompany them with this caution, that as you have not much
time to read, you should employ it in reading what is the most
necessary, and that is, indisputably modern historical,
geographical, chronological, and political knowledge; the present
constitution, maxims, force, riches, trade, commerce, characters,
parties, and cabals of the several courts of Europe. Many who are
reckoned good scholars, though they know pretty accurately the
governments of Athens and Rome, are totally ignorant of the
constitution of any one country now in Europe, even of their own.
Read just Latin and Greek enough to keep up your classical
learning, which will be an ornament to you while young, and a
comfort to you when old. But the true useful knowledge, and
especially for you, is the modern knowledge above mentioned. It is
that must qualify you both for domestic and foreign business, and
it is to that, therefore, that you should principally direct your
attention; and I know, with great pleasure, that you do so. I would
not thus commend you to yourself, if I thought commendations would
have upon you those ill effects, which they frequently have upon
weak minds. I think you are much above being a vain coxcomb,
overrating your own merit, and insulting others with the
superabundance of it. On the contrary, I am convinced that the
consciousness of merit makes a man of sense more modest, though
more firm. A man who displays his own merit is a coxcomb, and a man
who does not know it is a fool. A man of sense knows it, exerts it,
avails himself of it, but never boasts of it; and always SEEMS
rather to under than over value it, though in truth, he sets the
right value upon it. It is a very true maxim of La Bruyere's (an
author well worth your studying), 'qu'on ne vaut dans ce monde, que
ce que l'on veut valoir'. A man who is really diffident, timid, and
bashful, be his merit what it will, never can push himself in the
world; his despondency throws him into inaction; and the forward,
the bustling, and the petulant, will always get the better of him.
The manner makes the whole difference. What would be impudence in
one manner, is only a proper and decent assurance in another. A man
of sense, and of knowledge in the world, will assert his own
rights, and pursue his own objects, as steadily and intrepidly as
the most impudent man living, and commonly more so; but then he has
art enough to give an outward air of modesty to all he does. This
engages and prevails, while the very same things shock and fail,
from the overbearing or impudent manner only of doing them. I
repeat my maxim, 'Suaviter in modo, sed fortiter in re'. Would you
know the characters, modes and manners of the latter end of the
last age, which are very like those of the present, read La
Bruyere. But would you know man, independently of modes, read La
Rochefoucault, who, I am afraid, paints him very exactly.
Give the inclosed to Abbe Guasco, of whom
you make good use, to go about with you, and see things. Between
you and me, he has more knowledge than parts. 'Mais un habile homme
sait tirer parti de tout', and everybody is good for something.
President Montesquieu is, in every sense, a most useful
acquaintance. He has parts, joined to great reading and knowledge
of the world. 'Puisez dans cette source tant que vous
pourrez'.
Adieu. May the Graces attend you! for
without them 'ogni fatica e vana'. If they do not come to you
willingly, ravish them, and force them to accompany you in all you
think, all you say, and all you do.
LETTER
CXXXI
LONDON, February
11, O. S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: When you go to the play,
which I hope you do often, for it is a very instructive amusement,
you must certainly have observed the very different effects which
the several parts have upon you, according as they are well or ill
acted. The very best tragedy of, Corneille's, if well spoken and
acted, interests, engages, agitates, and affects your passions.
Love, terror, and pity alternately possess you. But, if ill spoken
and acted, it would only excite your indignation or your laughter.
Why? It is still Corneille's; it is the same sense, the same
matter, whether well or ill acted. It is, then, merely the manner
of speaking and acting that makes this great difference in the
effects. Apply this to yourself, and conclude from it, that if you
would either please in a private company, or persuade in a public
assembly, air, looks, gestures, graces, enunciation, proper
accents, just emphasis, and tuneful cadences, are full as necessary
as the matter itself. Let awkward, ungraceful, inelegant, and dull
fellows say what they will in behalf of their solid matter and
strong reasonings; and let them despise all those graces and
ornaments which engage the senses and captivate the heart; they
will find (though they will possibly wonder why) that their rough,
unpolished matter, and their unadorned, coarse, but strong
arguments, will neither please nor persuade; but, on the contrary,
will tire out attention, and excite disgust. We are so made, we
love to be pleased better than to be informed; information is, in a
certain degree, mortifying, as it implies our previous ignorance;
it must be sweetened to be palatable.
To bring this directly to you: know that no
man can make a figure in this country, but by parliament. Your fate
depends upon your success there as a speaker; and, take my word for
it, that success turns much more upon manner than matter. Mr. Pitt
and Mr. Murray the solicitor-general, uncle to Lord Stormount, are,
beyond comparison, the best speakers; why? only because they are
the best orators. They alone can inflame or quiet the House; they
alone are so attended to, in that numerous and noisy assembly, that
you might hear a pin fall while either of them is speaking. Is it
that their matter is better, or their arguments stronger, than
other people's? Does the House expect extraordinary informations
from them? Not, in the least: but the House expects pleasure from
them, and therefore attends; finds it, and therefore approves. Mr.
Pitt, particularly, has very little parliamentary knowledge; his
matter is generally flimsy, and his arguments often weak; but his
eloquence is superior, his action graceful, his enunciation just
and harmonious; his periods are well turned, and every word he
makes use of is the very best, and the most expressive, that can be
used in that place. This, and not his matter, made him Paymaster,
in spite of both king and ministers. From this draw the obvious
conclusion. The same thing holds full as true in conversation;
where even trifles, elegantly expressed, well looked, and
accompanied with graceful action, will ever please, beyond all the
homespun, unadorned sense in the world. Reflect, on one side, how
you feel within yourself, while you are forced to suffer the
tedious, muddy, and ill-turned narration of some awkward fellow,
even though the fact may be interesting; and, on the other hand,
with what pleasure you attend to the relation of a much less
interesting matter, when elegantly expressed, genteelly turned, and
gracefully delivered. By attending carefully to all these agremens
in your daily conversation, they will become habitual to you,
before you come into parliament; and you will have nothing then, to
do, but to raise them a little when you come there. I would wish
you to be so attentive to this object, that I, would not have you
speak to your footman, but in the very best words that the subject
admits of, be the language what it will. Think of your words, and
of their arrangement, before you speak; choose the most elegant,
and place them in the best order. Consult your own ear, to avoid
cacophony, and, what is very near as bad, monotony. Think also of
your gesture and looks, when you are speaking even upon the most
trifling subjects. The same things, differently expressed, looked,
and delivered, cease to be the same things. The most passionate
lover in the world cannot make a stronger declaration of love than
the 'Bourgeois gentilhomme' does in this happy form of words,
'Mourir d'amour me font belle Marquise vos beaux yeux'. I defy
anybody to say more; and yet I would advise nobody to say that, and
I would recommend to you rather to smother and conceal your passion
entirely than to reveal it in these words. Seriously, this holds in
everything, as well as in that ludicrous instance. The French, to
do them justice, attend very minutely to the purity, the
correctness, and the elegance of their style in conversation and in
their letters. 'Bien narrer' is an object of their study; and
though they sometimes carry it to affectation, they never sink into
inelegance, which is much the worst extreme of the two. Observe
them, and form your French style upon theirs: for elegance in one
language will reproduce itself in all. I knew a young man, who,
being just elected a member of parliament, was laughed at for being
discovered, through the keyhole of his chamber-door, speaking to
himself in the glass, and forming his looks and gestures. I could
not join in that laugh; but, on the contrary, thought him much
wiser than those who laughed at him; for he knew the importance of
those little graces in a public assembly, and they did not. Your
little person (which I am told, by the way, is not ill turned),
whether in a laced coat or a blanket, is specifically the same; but
yet, I believe, you choose to wear the former, and you are in the
right, for the sake of pleasing more. The worst-bred man in Europe,
if a lady let fall her fan, would certainly take it up and give it
her; the best-bred man in Europe could do no more. The difference,
however, would be considerable; the latter would please by doing it
gracefully; the former would be laughed at for doing it awkwardly.
I repeat it, and repeat it again, and shall never cease repeating
it to you: air, manners, graces, style, elegance, and all those
ornaments, must now be the only objects of your attention; it is
now, or never, that you must acquire them. Postpone, therefore, all
other considerations; make them now your serious study; you have
not one moment to lose. The solid and the ornamental united, are
undoubtedly best; but were I reduced to make an option, I should
without hesitation choose the latter.
I hope you assiduously frequent Marcell-[At
that time the most celebrated dancing-master at Paris.]-and carry
graces from him; nobody had more to spare than he had formerly.
Have you learned to carve? for it is ridiculous not to carve well.
A man who tells you gravely that he cannot carve, may as well tell
you that he cannot blow his nose: it is both as necessary, and as
easy.
Make my compliments to Lord Huntingdon, whom
I love and honor extremely, as I dare say you do; I will write to
him soon, though I believe he has hardly time to read a letter; and
my letters to those I love are, as you know by experience, not very
short ones: this is one proof of it, and this would have been
longer, if the paper had been so. Good night then, my dear
child.
LETTER
CXXXII
LONDON, February
28, O. S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: This epigram in
Martial-
"Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere
quare;
Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te"-
[OR: "I do not love thee Dr. Fell
The reason why I cannot tell.
But this I know and know full well:
I do not love thee Dr. Fell." D.W.]
has puzzled a great many people, who cannot
conceive how it is possible not to love anybody, and yet not to
know the reason why. I think I conceive Martial's meaning very
clearly, though the nature of epigram, which is to be short, would
not allow him to explain it more fully; and I take it to be this: O
Sabidis, you are a very worthy deserving man; you have a thousand
good qualities, you have a great deal of learning; I esteem, I
respect, but for the soul of me I cannot love you, though I cannot
particularly say why. You are not aimable: you have not those
engaging manners, those pleasing attentions, those graces, and that
address, which are absolutely necessary to please, though
impossible to define. I cannot say it is this or that particular
thing that hinders me from loving you; it is the whole together;
and upon the whole you are not agreeable.
How often have I, in the course of my life,
found myself in this situation, with regard to many of my
acquaintance, whom I have honored and respected, without being able
to love. I did not know why, because, when one is young, one does
not take the trouble, nor allow one's self the time, to analyze
one's sentiments and to trace them up to their source. But
subsequent observation and reflection have taught me why. There is
a man, whose moral character, deep learning, and superior parts, I
acknowledge, admire, and respect; but whom it is so impossible for
me to love, that I am almost in a fever whenever I am in his
company. His figure (without being deformed) seems made to disgrace
or ridicule the common structure of the human body. His legs and
arms are never in the position which, according to the situation of
his body, they ought to be in, but constantly employed in
committing acts of hostility upon the Graces. He throws anywhere,
but down his throat, whatever he means to drink, and only mangles
what he means to carve. Inattentive to all the regards of social
life, he mistimes or misplaces everything. He disputes with heat,
and indiscriminately, mindless of the rank, character, and
situation of those with whom he disputes; absolutely ignorant of
the several gradations of familiarity or respect, he is exactly the
same to his superiors, his equals, and his inferiors; and
therefore, by a necessary consequence, absurd to two of the three.
Is it possible to love such a man? No. The utmost I can do for him,
is to consider him as a respectable Hottentot.-[This 'mot' was
aimed at Dr. Johnson in retaliation for his famous letter.]
I remember, that when I came from Cambridge,
I had acquired, among the pedants of that illiberal seminary, a
sauciness of literature, a turn to satire and contempt, and a
strong tendency to argumentation and contradiction. But I had been
but a very little while in the world, before I found that this
would by no means do; and I immediately adopted the opposite
character; I concealed what learning I had; I applauded often,
without approving; and I yielded commonly without conviction.
'Suaviter in modo' was my law and my prophets; and if I pleased
(between you and me) it was much more owing to that, than to any
superior knowledge or merit of my own. Apropos, the word PLEASING
puts one always in mind of Lady Hervey; pray tell her, that I
declare her responsible to me for your pleasing; that I consider
her as a pleasing Falstaff, who not only pleases, herself, but is
the cause of pleasing in others; that I know she can make anything
of anybody; and that, as your governess, if she does not make you
please, it must be only because she will not, and not because she
cannot. I hope you are 'dubois don't on en fait'; and if so, she is
so good a sculptor, that I am sure she can give you whatever form
she pleases. A versatility of manners is as necessary in social, as
a versatility of parts is in political life. One must often yield,
in order to prevail; one must humble one's self, to be exalted; one
must, like St. Paul, become all things to all men, to gain some;
and, by the way, men are taken by the same means, 'mutatis
mutandis', that women are gained-by gentleness, insinuation, and
submission: and these lines of Mr. Dryden will hold to a minister
as well as to a mistress:
"The prostrate lover, when he lowest
lies,
But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to
rise."
In the course of the world, the
qualifications of the chameleon are often necessary; nay, they must
be carried a little further, and exerted a little sooner; for you
should, to a certain degree, take the hue of either the man or the
woman that you want, and wish to be upon terms with. 'A propos',
have you yet found out at Paris, any friendly and hospitable Madame
de Lursay, 'qui veut bien se charger du soin de vous eduquer'? And
have you had any occasion of representing to her, 'qu'elle faisoit
donc des noeuds'? But I ask your pardon, Sir, for the abruptness of
the question, and acknowledge that I am meddling with matters that
are out of my department. However, in matters of less importance, I
desire to be 'de vos secrets le fidele depositaire'. Trust me with
the general turn and color of your amusements at Paris. Is it 'le
fracas du grand monde, comedies, bals, operas, cour,' etc.? Or is
it 'des petites societes, moins bruyantes, mais pas pour cela moins
agreables'? Where are you the most 'etabli'? Where are you 'le
petit Stanhope? Voyez vous encore jour, a quelque arrangement
honnete? Have you made many acquaintances among the young Frenchmen
who ride at your Academy; and who are they? Send to me this sort of
chit-chat in your letters, which, by the bye, I wish you would
honor me with somewhat oftener. If you frequent any of the myriads
of polite Englishmen who infest Paris, who are they? Have you
finished with Abbe Nolet, and are you 'au fait' of all the
properties and effects of air? Were I inclined to quibble, I would
say, that the effects of air, at least, are best to be learned of
Marcel. If you have quite done with l'Abbes Nolet, ask my friend
l'Abbe Sallier to recommend to you some meagre philomath, to teach
you a little geometry and astronomy; not enough to absorb your
attention and puzzle your intellects, but only enough not to be
grossly ignorant of either. I have of late been a sort of
'astronome malgre moi', by bringing in last Monday into the House
of Lords a bill for reforming our present Calendar and taking the
New Style. Upon which occasion I was obliged to talk some
astronomical jargon, of which I did not understand one word, but
got it by heart, and spoke it by rote from a master. I wished that
I had known a little more of it myself; and so much I would have
you know. But the great and necessary knowledge of all is, to know,
yourself and others: this knowledge requires great attention and
long experience; exert the former, and may you have the latter!
Adieu!
P. S. I have this moment received your
letters of the 27th February, and the 2d March, N. S. The seal
shall be done as soon as possible. I am, glad that you are employed
in Lord Albemarle's bureau; it will teach you, at least, the
mechanical part of that business, such as folding, entering, and
docketing letters; for you must not imagine that you are let into
the 'fin fin' of the correspondence, nor indeed is it fit that you
should, at, your age. However, use yourself to secrecy as to the
letters you either read or write, that in time you may be trusted
with SECRET, VERY SECRET, SEPARATE, APART, etc. I am sorry that
this business interferes with your riding; I hope it is seldom; but
I insist upon its not interfering with your dancing-master, who is
at this time the most useful and necessary of all the masters you
have or can have.
LETTER
CXXXIII
MY DEAR FRIEND: I mentioned to you, some
time ago a sentence which I would most earnestly wish you always to
retain in your thoughts, and observe in your conduct. It is
'suaviter in modo, fortiter in re' [gentleness of manners, with
firmness of mind D.W.]. I do not know any one rule so
unexceptionably useful and necessary in every part of life. I shall
therefore take it for my text to-day, and as old men love
preaching, and I have some right to preach to you, I here present
you with my sermon upon these words. To proceed, then, regularly
and PULPITICALLY, I will first show you, my beloved, the necessary
connection of the two members of my text 'suaviter in modo:
fortiter in re'. In the next place, I shall set forth the
advantages and utility resulting from a strict observance of the
precept contained in my text; and conclude with an application of
the whole. The 'suaviter in modo' alone would degenerate and sink
into a mean, timid complaisance and passiveness, if not supported
and dignified by the 'fortiter in re', which would also run into
impetuosity and brutality, if not tempered and softened by the
'suaviter in modo': however, they are seldom united.
The warm, choleric man, with strong animal
spirits, despises the 'suaviter in modo', and thinks to, carry all
before him by the 'fortiter in re'. He may, possibly, by great
accident, now and then succeed, when he has only weak and timid
people to deal with; but his general fate will be, to shock offend,
be hated, and fail. On the other hand, the cunning, crafty man
thinks to gain all his ends by the 'suaviter in modo' only; HE
BECOMES ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN; he seems to have no opinion of his
own, and servilely adopts the present opinion of the present
person; he insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools, but is
soon detected, and surely despised by everybody else. The wise man
(who differs as much from the cunning, as from the choleric man)
alone joins the 'suaviter in modo' with the 'fortiter in re'. Now
to the advantages arising from the strict observance of this
precept:
If you are in authority, and have a right to
command, your commands delivered 'suaviter in modo' will be
willingly, cheerfully, and consequently well obeyed; whereas, if
given only 'fortiter', that is brutally, they will rather, as
Tacitus says, be interrupted than executed. For my own part, if I
bid my footman bring me a glass of wine, in a rough insulting
manner, I should expect that, in obeying me, he would contrive to
spill some of it upon me: and I am sure I should deserve it. A
cool, steady resolution should show that where you have a right to
command you will be obeyed; but at the same time, a gentleness in
the manner of enforcing that obedience should make it a cheerful
one, and soften as much as possible the mortifying consciousness of
inferiority. If you are to ask a favor, or even to solicit your
due, you must do it 'suaviter in modo', or you will give those who
have a mind to refuse you, either a pretense to do it, by resenting
the manner; but, on the other hand, you must, by a steady
perseverance and decent tenaciousness, show the 'fortiter in re'.
The right motives are seldom the true ones of men's actions,
especially of kings, ministers, and people in high stations; who
often give to importunity and fear, what they would refuse to
justice or to merit. By the 'suaviter in modo' engage their hearts,
if you can; at least prevent the pretense of offense but take care
to show enough of the 'fortiter in re' to extort from their love of
ease, or their fear, what you might in vain hope for from their
justice or good-nature. People in high life are hardened to the
wants and distresses of mankind, as surgeons are to their bodily
pains; they see and hear of them all day long, and even of so many
simulated ones, that they do not know which are real, and which
not. Other sentiments are therefore to be applied to, than those of
mere justice and humanity; their favor must be captivated by the
'suaviter in modo'; their love of ease disturbed by unwearied
importunity, or their fears wrought upon by a decent intimation of
implacable, cool resentment; this is the true 'fortiter in re'.
This precept is the only way I know in the world of being loved
without being despised, and feared without being hated. It
constitutes the dignity of character which every wise man must
endeavor to establish.
Now to apply what has been said, and so
conclude.
If you find that you have a hastiness in
your temper, which unguardedly breaks out into indiscreet sallies,
or rough expressions, to either your superiors, your equals, or
your inferiors, watch it narrowly, check it carefully, and call the
'suaviter in modo' to your assistance: at the first impulse of
passion, be silent till you can be soft. Labor even to get the
command of your countenance so well, that those emotions may not be
read in it; a most unspeakable advantage in business! On the other
hand, let no complaisance, no gentleness of temper, no weak desire
of pleasing on your part,-no wheedling, coaxing, nor flattery, on
other people's,-make you recede one jot from any point that reason
and prudence have bid you pursue; but return to the charge,
persist, persevere, and you will find most things attainable that
are possible. A yielding, timid meekness is always abused and
insulted by the unjust and the unfeeling; but when sustained by the
'fortiter in re', is always respected, commonly successful. In your
friendships and connections, as well as in your enmities, this rule
is particularly useful; let your firmness and vigor preserve and
invite attachments to you; but, at the same time, let your manner
hinder the enemies of your friends and dependents from becoming
yours; let your enemies be disarmed by the gentleness of your
manner, but let them feel, at the same time, the steadiness of your
just resentment; for there is a great difference between bearing
malice, which is always ungenerous, and a resolute self-defense,
which is always prudent and justifiable. In negotiations with
foreign ministers, remember the 'fortiter in re'; give up no point,
accept of no expedient, till the utmost necessity reduces you to
it, and even then, dispute the ground inch by inch; but then, while
you are contending with the minister 'fortiter in re', remember to
gain the man by the 'suaviter in modo'. If you engage his heart,
you have a fair chance for imposing upon his understanding, and
determining his will. Tell him, in a frank, gallant manner, that
your ministerial wrangles do not lessen your personal regard for
his merit; but that, on the contrary, his zeal and ability in the
service of his master, increase it; and that, of all things, you
desire to make a good friend of so good a servant. By these means
you may, and will very often be a gainer: you never can be a loser.
Some people cannot gain upon themselves to be easy and civil to
those who are either their rivals, competitors, or opposers,
though, independently of those accidental circumstances, they would
like and esteem them. They betray a shyness and an awkwardness in
company with them, and catch at any little thing to expose them;
and so, from temporary and only occasional opponents, make them
their personal enemies. This is exceedingly weak and detrimental,
as indeed is all humor in business; which can only be carried on
successfully by, unadulterated good policy and right reasoning. In
such situations I would be more particularly and 'noblement',
civil, easy, and frank with the man whose designs I traversed: this
is commonly called generosity and magnanimity, but is, in truth,
good sense and policy. The manner is often as important as the
matter, sometimes more so; a favor may make an enemy, and an injury
may make a friend, according to the different manner in which they
are severally done. The countenance, the address, the words, the
enunciation, the Graces, add great efficacy to the 'suaviter in
modo', and great dignity to the 'fortiter in re', and consequently
they deserve the utmost attention.
From what has been said, I conclude with
this observation, that gentleness of manners, with firmness of
mind, is a short, but full description of human perfection on this
side of religious and moral duties. That you may be seriously
convinced of this truth, and show it in your life and conversation,
is the most sincere and ardent wish of, Yours.
LETTER
CXXXIV
LONDON, March 11,
O. S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: I received by the last post
a letter from Abbe Guasco, in which he joins his representations to
those of Lord Albemarle, against your remaining any longer in your
very bad lodgings at the Academy; and, as I do not find that any
advantage can arise to you from being 'interne' in an academy which
is full as far from the riding-house and from all your other
masters, as your lodgings will probably be, I agree to your
removing to an 'hotel garni'; the Abbe will help you to find one,
as I desire him by the inclosed, which you will give him. I must,
however, annex one condition to your going into private lodgings,
which is an absolute exclusion of English breakfasts and suppers at
them; the former consume the whole morning, and the latter employ
the evenings very ill, in senseless toasting a l'Angloise in their
infernal claret. You will be sure to go to the riding-house as
often as possible, that is, whenever your new business at Lord
Albemarle's does not hinder you. But, at all events, I insist upon
your never missing Marcel, who is at present of more consequence to
you than all the bureaux in Europe; for this is the time for you to
acquire 'tous ces petits riens', which, though in an arithmetical
account, added to one another 'ad infinitum', they would amount to
nothing, in the account of the world amount to a great and
important sum. 'Les agremens et les graces', without which you will
never be anything, are absolutely made up of all those 'riens',
which are more easily felt than described. By the way, you may take
your lodgings for one whole year certain, by which means you may
get them much cheaper; for though I intend to see you here in less
than a year, it will be but for a little time, and you will return
to Paris again, where I intend you shall stay till the end of April
twelvemonth, 1752, at which time, provided you have got all 'la
politesse, les manieres, les attentions, et les graces du beau
monde', I shall place you in some business suitable to your
destination.
I have received, at last, your present of
the cartoon, from Dominichino, by Planchet. It is very finely done,
it is pity that he did not take in all the figures of the original.
I will hang it up, where it shall be your own again some time or
other.
Mr. Harte is returned in perfect health from
Cornwall, and has taken possession of his prebendal house at
Windsor, which is a very pretty one. As I dare say you will always
feel, I hope you will always express, the strongest sentiments of
gratitude and friendship for him. Write to him frequently, and
attend to the letters you receive from him. He shall be with us at
Blackheath, alias BABIOLE, all the time that I propose you shall be
there, which I believe will be the month of August next.
Having thus mentioned to you the probable
time of our meeting, I will prepare you a little for it. Hatred;
jealousy, or envy, make, most people attentive to discover the
least defects of those they do not love; they rejoice at every new
discovery they make of that kind, and take care to publish it. I
thank God, I do not know what those three ungenerous passions are,
having never felt them in my own breast; but love has just the same
effect upon me, except that I conceal, instead of publishing, the
defeats which my attention makes me discover in those I love. I
curiously pry into them; I analyze them; and, wishing either to
find them perfect, or to make them so, nothing escapes me, and I
soon discover every the least gradation toward or from that
perfection. You must therefore expect the most critical 'examen'
that ever anybody underwent. I shall discover your least, as well
as your greatest defects, and I shall very freely tell you of them,
'Non quod odio habeam sed quod amem'. But I shall tell them you
'tete-a-tete', and as MICIO not as DEMEA; and I will tell them to
nobody else. I think it but fair to inform you beforehand, where I
suspect that my criticisms are likely to fall; and that is more
upon the outward, than upon the inward man; I neither suspect your
heart nor your head; but to be plain with you, I have a strange
distrust of your air, your address, your manners, your 'tournure',
and particularly of your ENUNCIATION and elegance of style. These
will be all put to the trial; for while you are with me, you must
do the honors of my house and table; the least inaccuracy or
inelegance will not escape me; as you will find by a LOOK at the
time, and by a remonstrance afterward when we are alone. You will
see a great deal of company of all sorts at BABIOLE, and
particularly foreigners. Make, therefore, in the meantime, all
these exterior and ornamental qualifications your peculiar care,
and disappoint all my imaginary schemes of criticism. Some authors
have criticised their own works first, in hopes of hindering others
from doing it afterward: but then they do it themselves with so
much tenderness and partiality for their own production, that not
only the production itself, but the preventive criticism is
criticised. I am not one of those authors; but, on the contrary, my
severity increases with my fondness for my work; and if you will
but effectually correct all the faults I shall find, I will insure
you from all subsequent criticisms from other quarters.
Are you got a little into the interior, into
the constitution of things at Paris? Have you seen what you have
seen thoroughly? For, by the way, few people see what they see, or
hear what they hear. For example, if you go to les Invalides, do
you content yourself with seeing the building, the hall where three
or four hundred cripples dine, and the galleries where they lie? or
do you inform yourself of the numbers, the conditions of their
admission, their allowance, the value and nature of the fund by
which the whole is supported? This latter I call seeing, the former
is only starting. Many people take the opportunity of 'les
vacances', to go and see the empty rooms where the several chambers
of the parliament did sit; which rooms are exceedingly like all
other large rooms; when you go there, let it be when they are full;
see and hear what is doing in them; learn their respective
constitutions, jurisdictions, objects, and methods of proceeding;
hear some causes tried in every one of the different chambers;
'Approfondissez les choses'.
I am glad to hear that you are so well at
Marquis de St. Germain's, -[At that time Ambassador from the King
of Sardinia at the Court of France.]-of whom I hear a very good
character. How are you with the other foreign ministers at Paris?
Do you frequent the Dutch Ambassador or Ambassadress? Have you any
footing at the Nuncio's, or at the Imperial and Spanish
ambassadors? It is useful. Be more particular in your letters to
me, as to your manner of passing your time, and the company you
keep. Where do you dine and sup oftenest? whose house is most your
home? Adieu. 'Les Graces, les Graces'.
LETTER
CXXXV
LONDON, March 18,
O. S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: I acquainted you in a former
letter, that I had brought a bill into the House of Lords for
correcting and reforming our present calendar, which is the Julian,
and for adopting the Gregorian. I will now give you a more
particular account of that affair; from which reflections will
naturally occur to you that I hope may be useful, and which I fear
you have not made. It was notorious, that the Julian calendar was
erroneous, and had overcharged the solar year with eleven days.
Pope Gregory the Thirteenth corrected this error; his reformed
calendar was immediately received by all the Catholic powers of
Europe, and afterward adopted by all the Protestant ones, except
Russia, Sweden, and England. It was not, in my opinion, very
honorable for England to remain, in a gross and avowed error,
especially in such company; the inconveniency of it was likewise
felt by all those who had foreign correspondences, whether
political or mercantile. I determined, therefore, to attempt the
reformation; I consulted the best lawyers and the most skillful
astronomers, and we cooked up a bill for that purpose. But then my
difficulty began: I was to bring in this bill, which was
necessarily composed of law jargon and astronomical calculations,
to both which I am an utter stranger. However, it was absolutely
necessary to make the House of Lords think that I knew something of
the matter; and also to make them believe that they knew something
of it themselves, which they do not. For my own part, I could just
as soon have talked Celtic or Sclavonian to them as astronomy, and
they would have understood me full as well: so I resolved to do
better than speak to the purpose, and to please instead of
informing them. I gave them, therefore, only an historical account
of calendars, from the Egyptian down to the Gregorian, amusing them
now and then with little episodes; but I was particularly attentive
to the choice of my words, to the harmony and roundness of my
periods, to my elocution, to my action. This succeeded, and ever
will succeed; they thought I informed, because I pleased them; and
many of them said that I had made the whole very clear to them;
when, God knows, I had not even attempted it. Lord Macclesfield,
who had the greatest share in forming the bill, and who is one of
the greatest mathematicians and astronomers in Europe, spoke
afterward with infinite knowledge, and all the clearness that so
intricate a matter would admit of: but as his words, his periods,
and his utterance, were not near so good as mine, the preference
was most unanimously, though most unjustly, given to me. This will
ever be the case; every numerous assembly is MOB, let the
individuals who compose it be what they will. Mere reason and good
sense is never to be talked to a mob; their passions, their
sentiments, their senses, and their seeming interests, are alone to
be applied to. Understanding they have collectively none, but they
have ears and eyes, which must be flattered and seduced; and this
can only be done by eloquence, tuneful periods, graceful action,
and all the various parts of oratory.
When you come into the House of Commons, if
you imagine that speaking plain and unadorned sense and reason will
do your business, you will find yourself most grossly mistaken. As
a speaker, you will be ranked only according to your eloquence, and
by no means according to your matter; everybody knows the matter
almost alike, but few can adorn it. I was early convinced of the
importance and powers of eloquence; and from that moment I applied
myself to it. I resolved not to utter one word, even in common
conversation, that should not be the most expressive and the most
elegant that the language could supply me with for that purpose; by
which means I have acquired such a certain degree of habitual
eloquence, that I must now really take some pains, if, I would
express myself very inelegantly. I want to inculcate this known
truth into you, which, you seem by no means to be convinced of yet,
that ornaments are at present your only objects. Your sole business
now is to shine, not to weigh. Weight without lustre is lead. You
had better talk trifles elegantly to the most trifling woman, than
coarse in elegant sense to the most solid man; you had better,
return a dropped fan genteelly, than give a thousand pounds
awkwardly; and you had better refuse a favor gracefully, than to
grant it clumsily. Manner is all, in everything: it is by manner
only that you can please, and consequently rise. All your Greek
will never advance you from secretary to envoy, or from envoy to
ambassador; but your address, your manner, your air, if good, very
probably may. Marcel can be of much more use to you than Aristotle.
I would, upon my word, much rather that you had Lord Bolingbroke's
style and eloquence in speaking and writing, than all the learning
of the Academy of Sciences, the Royal Society, and the two
Universities united.
Having mentioned Lord Bolingbroke's style,
which is, undoubtedly, infinitely superior to anybody's, I would
have you read his works, which you have, over and-over again, with
particular attention to his style. Transcribe, imitate, emulate it,
if possible: that would be of real use to you in the House of
Commons, in negotiations, in conversation; with that, you may
justly hope to please, to persuade, to seduce, to impose; and you
will fail in those articles, in proportion as you fall short of it.
Upon the whole, lay aside, during your year's residence at Paris,
all thoughts of all that dull fellows call solid, and exert your
utmost care to acquire what people of fashion call shining. 'Prenez
l'eclat et le brillant d'un galant homme'.
Among the commonly called little things, to
which you, do not attend, your handwriting is one, which is indeed
shamefully bad and illiberal; it is neither the hand of a man of
business, nor of a gentleman, but of a truant school-boy; as soon,
therefore, as you have done with Abbe Nolet, pray get an excellent
writing-master (since you think that you cannot teach yourself to
write what hand you please), and let him teach you to write a
genteel, legible, liberal hand, and quick; not the hand of a
procureur or a writing-master, but that sort of hand in which the
first 'Commis' in foreign bureaus commonly write; for I tell you
truly, that were I Lord Albemarle, nothing should remain in my
bureau written in your present hand. From hand to arms the
transition is natural; is the carriage and motion of your arms so
too? The motion of the arms is the most material part of a man's
air, especially in dancing; the feet are not near so material. If a
man dances well from the waist upward, wears his hat well, and
moves his head properly, he dances well. Do the women say that you
dress well? for that is necessary too for a young fellow. Have you
'un gout vif', or a passion for anybody? I do not ask for whom: an
Iphigenia would both give you the desire, and teach you the means
to please.
In a fortnight or three weeks you will see
Sir Charles Hotham at Paris, in his way to Toulouse, where he is to
stay a year or two. Pray be very civil to him, but do not carry him
into company, except presenting him to Lord Albemarle; for, as he
is not to stay at Paris above a week, we do not desire that he
should taste of that dissipation: you may show him a play and an
opera. Adieu, my dear child.
LETTER
CXXXVI
LONDON, March 25,
O. S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: What a happy period of your
life is this? Pleasure is now, and ought to be, your business.
While you were younger, dry rules, and unconnected words, were the
unpleasant objects of your labors. When you grow older, the
anxiety, the vexations, the disappointments inseparable from public
business, will require the greatest share of your time and
attention; your pleasures may, indeed, conduce to your business,
and your business will quicken your pleasures; but still your time
must, at least, be divided: whereas now it is wholly your own, and
cannot be so well employed as in the pleasures of a gentleman. The
world is now the only book you want, and almost the only one you
ought to read: that necessary book can only be read in company, in
public places, at meals, and in 'ruelles'. You must be in the
pleasures, in order to learn the manners of good company. In
premeditated, or in formal business, people conceal, or at least
endeavor to conceal, their characters: whereas pleasures discover
them, and the heart breaks out through the guard of the
understanding. Those are often propitious moments for skillful
negotiators to improve. In your destination particularly, the able
conduct of pleasures is of infinite use; to keep a good table, and
to do the honors of it gracefully, and 'sur le ton de la bonne
compagnie', is absolutely necessary for a foreign minister. There
is a certain light table chit-chat, useful to keep off improper and
too serious subjects, which is only to be learned in the pleasures
of good company. In truth it may be trifling; but, trifling as it
is, a man of parts and experience of the world will give an
agreeable turn to it. 'L'art de badiner agreablement' is by no
means to be despised.
An engaging address, and turn to gallantry,
is often of very great service to foreign ministers. Women have,
directly or indirectly; a good deal to say in most courts. The late
Lord Strafford governed, for a considerable time, the Court of
Berlin and made his own fortune, by being well with Madame de
Wartenberg, the first King of Prussia's mistress. I could name many
other instances of that kind. That sort of agreeable 'caquet de
femmes', the necessary fore-runners of closer conferences, is only
to be got by frequenting women of the first fashion, 'et, qui
donnent le ton'. Let every other book then give way to this great
and necessary book, the world, of which there are so many various
readings, that it requires a great deal of time and attention to
under stand it well: contrary to all other books, you must not stay
home, but go abroad to read it; and when you seek it abroad, you
will not find it in booksellers' shops and stalls, but in courts,
in hotels, at entertainments, balls, assemblies, spectacles, etc.
Put yourself upon the footing of an easy, domestic, but polite
familiarity and intimacy in the several French houses to which you
have been introduced: Cultivate them, frequent them, and show a
desire of becoming 'enfant de la maison'. Get acquainted as much as
you can with 'les gens de cour'; and observe, carefully, how
politely they can differ, and how civilly they can hate; how easy
and idle they can seem in the multiplicity of their business; and
how they can lay hold of the proper moments to carry it on, in the
midst of their pleasures. Courts, alone, teach versatility and
politeness; for there is no living there without them. Lord
Albermarle has, I hear, and am very glad of it, put you into the
hands of Messieurs de Bissy. Profit of that, and beg of them to let
you attend them in all the companies of Versailles and Paris. One
of them, at least, will naturally carry you to Madame de la
Valiores, unless he is discarded by this time, and Gelliot-[A
famous opera-singer at Paris.]-retaken. Tell them frankly, 'que
vous cherchez a vous former, que vous etes en mains de maitres,
s'ils veulent bien s'en donner la peine'. Your profession has this
agreeable peculiarity in it, which is, that it is connected with,
and promoted by pleasures; and it is the only one in which a
thorough knowledge of the world, polite manners, and an engaging
address, are absolutely necessary. If a lawyer knows his law, a
parson his divinity, and a financier his calculations, each may
make a figure and a fortune in his profession, without great
knowledge of the world, and without the manners of gentlemen. But
your profession throws you into all the intrigues and cabals, as
well as pleasures, of courts: in those windings and labyrinths, a
knowledge of the world, a discernment of characters, a suppleness
and versatility of mind, and an elegance of manners, must be your
clue; you must know how to soothe and lull the monsters that guard,
and how to address and gain the fair that keep, the golden fleece.
These are the arts and the accomplishments absolutely necessary for
a foreign minister; in which it must be owned, to our shame, that
most other nations outdo the English; and, 'caeteris paribus', a
French minister will get the better of an English one at any third
court in Europe. The French have something more 'liant', more
insinuating and engaging in their manner, than we have. An English
minister shall have resided seven years at a court, without having
made any one personal connection there, or without being intimate
and domestic in any one house. He is always the English minister,
and never naturalized. He receives his orders, demands an audience,
writes an account of it to his Court, and his business is done. A
French minister, on the contrary, has not been six weeks at a court
without having, by a thousand little attentions, insinuated himself
into some degree of favor with the Prince, his wife, his mistress,
his favorite, and his minister. He has established himself upon a
familiar and domestic footing in a dozen of the best houses of the
place, where he has accustomed the people to be not only easy, but
unguarded, before him; he makes himself at home there, and they
think him so. By these means he knows the interior of those courts,
and can almost write prophecies to his own, from the knowledge he
has of the characters, the humors, the abilities, or the weaknesses
of the actors. The Cardinal d'Ossat was looked upon at Rome as an
Italian, and not as a French cardinal; and Monsieur d'Avaux,
wherever he went, was never considered as a foreign minister, but
as a native, and a personal friend. Mere plain truth, sense, and
knowledge, will by no means do alone in courts; art and ornaments
must come to their assistance. Humors must be flattered; the
'mollia tempora' must be studied and known: confidence acquired by
seeming frankness, and profited of by silent skill. And, above all;
you must gain and engage the heart, to betray the understanding to
you. 'Ha tibi erunt artes'.
The death of the Prince of Wales, who was
more beloved for his affability and good-nature than esteemed for
his steadiness and conduct, has given concern to many, and
apprehensions to all. The great difference of the ages of the King
and Prince George presents the prospect of a minority; a
disagreeable prospect for any nation! But it is to be hoped, and is
most probable, that the King, who is now perfectly recovered of his
late indisposition, may live to see his grandson of age. He is,
seriously, a most hopeful boy: gentle and good-natured, with good
sound sense. This event has made all sorts of people here
historians, as well as politicians. Our histories are rummaged for
all the particular circumstances of the six minorities we have had
since the Conquest, viz, those of Henry III., Edward III., Richard
II., Henry VI., Edward V., and Edward VI.; and the reasonings, the
speculations, the conjectures, and the predictions, you will easily
imagine, must be innumerable and endless, in this nation, where
every porter is a consummate politician. Dr. Swift says, very
humorously, that "Every man knows that he understands religion and
politics, though he never learned them; but that many people are
conscious that they do not understand many other sciences, from
having never learned them." Adieu.
LETTER
CXXXVII
LONDON, April 7, O.
S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: Here you have, altogether,
the pocketbooks, the compasses, and the patterns. When your three
Graces have made their option, you need only send me, in a letter
small pieces of the three mohairs they fix upon. If I can find no
way of sending them safely and directly to Paris, I will contrive
to have them left with Madame Morel, at Calais, who, being Madame
Monconseil's agent there, may find means of furthering them to your
three ladies, who all belong to your friend Madame Monconseil. Two
of the three, I am told, are handsome; Madame Polignac, I can
swear, is not so; but, however, as the world goes, two out of three
is a very good composition.
You will also find in the packet a compass
ring set round with little diamonds, which I advise you to make a
present of to Abbe Guasco, who has been useful to you, and will
continue to be so; as it is a mere bauble, you must add to the
value of it by your manner of giving it him. Show it him first,
and, when he commends it, as probably he will, tell him that it is
at his service, 'et que comme il est toujours par vole et par
chemins, il est absolument necessaire qu'il ale une boussole'. All
those little gallantries depend entirely upon the manner of doing
them; as, in truth, what does not? The greatest favors may be done
so awkwardly and bunglingly as to offend; and disagreeable things
may be done so agreeably as almost to oblige. Endeavor to acquire
this great secret; it exists, it is to be found, and is worth a
great deal more than the grand secret of the alchemists would be if
it were, as it is not, to be found. This is only to be learned in
courts, where clashing views, jarring opinions, and cordial
hatreds, are softened and kept within decent bounds by politeness
and manners. Frequent, observe, and learn courts. Are you free of
that of St. Cloud? Are you often at Versailles? Insinuate and
wriggle yourself into favor at those places. L'Abbe de la Ville, my
old friend, will help you at the latter; your three ladies may
establish you in the former. The good-breeding 'de la ville et de
la cour' [of the city and of the court] are different; but without
deciding which is intrinsically the best, that of the court is,
without doubt, the most necessary for you, who are to live, to
grow, and to rise in courts. In two years' time, which will be as
soon as you are fit for it, I hope to be able to plant you in the
soil of a YOUNG COURT here: where, if you have all the address, the
suppleness and versatility of a good courtier, you will have a
great chance of thriving and flourishing. Young favor is easily
acquired if the proper means are employed; and, when acquired, it
is warm, if not durable; and the warm moments must be snatched and
improved. 'Quitte pour ce qui en pent arriver apres'. Do not
mention this view of mine for you to any one mortal; but learn to
keep your own secrets, which, by the way, very few people can
do.
If your course of experimental philosophy
with Abbe Nolot is over, I would have you apply to Abbe Sallier,
for a master to give you a general notion of astronomy and
geometry; of both of which you may know as much, as I desire you
should, in six months' time. I only desire that you should have a
clear notion of the present planetary system, and the history of
all the former systems. Fontenelle's 'Pluralites des Mondes' will
almost teach you all you need know upon that subject. As for
geometry, the seven first books of Euclid will be a sufficient
portion of it for you. It is right to have a general notion of
those abstruse sciences, so as not to appear quite ignorant of
them, when they happen, as sometimes they do, to be the topics of
conversation; but a deep knowledge of them requires too much time,
and engrosses the mind too much. I repeat it again and again to
you, Let the great book of the world be your principal study.
'Nocturna versate manu, versate diurna'; which may be rendered thus
in English: Turn Over MEN BY DAY, AND WOMEN BY NIGHT. I mean only
the best editions.
Whatever may be said at Paris of my speech
upon the bill for the reformation of the present calendar, or
whatever applause it may have met with here, the whole, I can
assure you, is owing to the words and to the delivery, but by no
means to the matter; which, as I told you in a former letter, I was
not master of. I mention this again, to show you the importance of
well-chosen words, harmonious periods, and good delivery; for,
between you and me, Lord Macclefield's speech was, in truth, worth
a thousand of mine. It will soon be printed, and I will send it
you. It is very instructive. You say, that you wish to speak but
half as well as I did; you may easily speak full as well as ever I
did, if you will but give the same attention to the same objects
that I did at your age, and for many years afterward; I mean
correctness, purity, and elegance of style, harmony of periods, and
gracefulness of delivery. Read over and over again the third book
of 'Cicero de Oratore', in which he particularly treats of the
ornamental parts of oratory; they are indeed properly oratory, for
all the rest depends only upon common sense, and some knowledge of
the subject you speak upon. But if you would please, persuade, and
prevail in speaking, it must be by the ornamental parts of oratory.
Make them therefore habitual to you; and resolve never to say the
most common things, even to your footman, but in the best words you
can find, and with the best utterance. This, with 'les manieres, la
tournure, et les usages du beau monde', are the only two things you
want; fortunately, they are both in your power; may you have them
both! Adieu.
LETTER
CXXXVIII
LONDON, April 15,
O. S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: What success with the
graces, and in the accomplishments, elegancies, and all those
little nothings so indispensably necessary to constitute an amiable
man? Do you take them, do you make a progress in them? The great
secret is the art of pleasing; and that art is to be attained by
every man who has a good fund of common sense. If you are pleased
with any person, examine why; do as he does; and you will charm
others by the same things which please you in him. To be liked by
women, you must be esteemed by men; and to please men, you must be
agreeable to women. Vanity is unquestionably the ruling passion in
women; and it is much flattered by the attentions of a man who is
generally esteemed by men; when his merit has received the stamp of
their approbation, women make it current, that is to say, put him
in fashion. On the other hand, if a man has not received the last
polish from women, he may be estimable among men, but will never be
amiable. The concurrence of the two sexes is as necessary to the
perfection of our being, as to the formation of it. Go among women
with the good qualities of your sex, and you will acquire from them
the softness and the graces of theirs. Men will then add affection
to the esteem which they before had for you. Women are the only
refiners of the merit of men; it is true, they cannot add weight,
but they polish and give lustre to it. 'A propos', I am assured,
that Madame de Blot, although she has no great regularity of
features, is, notwithstanding, excessively pretty; and that, for
all that, she has as yet been scrupulously constant to her husband,
though she has now been married above a year. Surely she does not
reflect, that woman wants polishing. I would have you polish one
another reciprocally. Force, assiduities, attentions, tender looks,
and passionate declarations, on your side will produce some
irresolute wishes, at least, on hers; and when even the slightest
wishes arise, the rest will soon follow.
As I take you to be the greatest 'juris
peritus' and politician of the whole Germanic body, I suppose you
will have read the King of Prussia's letter to the Elector of
Mayence, upon the election of a King of the Romans; and on the
other side, a memorial entitled, IMPARTIAL REPRESENTATION OF WHAT
IS JUST WITH REGARD TO THE ELECTION OF A KING OF THE ROMANS, etc.
The first is extremely well written, but not grounded upon the laws
and customs of the empire. The second is very ill written (at least
in French), but well grounded. I fancy the author is some German,
who has taken into his head that he understands French. I am,
however, persuaded that the elegance and delicacy of the King of
Prussia's letter will prevail with two-thirds of the public, in
spite of the solidity and truth contained in the other piece. Such
is the force of an elegant and delicate style!
I wish you would be so good as to give me a
more particular and circumstantial account of the method of passing
your time at Paris. For instance, where it is that you dine every
Friday, in company with that amiable and respectable old man,
Fontenelle? Which is the house where you think yourself at home?
For one always has such a one, where one is better established, and
more at ease than anywhere else. Who are the young Frenchmen with
whom you are most intimately connected? Do you frequent the Dutch
Ambassador's. Have you penetrated yet into Count Caunitz's house?
Has Monsieur de Pignatelli the honor of being one of your humble
servants? And has the Pope's nuncio included you in the jubilee?
Tell me also freely how you are with Lord Huntingdon: Do you see
him often? Do you connect yourself with him? Answer all these
questions circumstantially in your first letter.
I am told that Du Clos's book is not in
vogue at Paris, and that it is violently criticised: I suppose that
is because one understands it; and being intelligible is now no
longer the fashion. I have a very great respect for fashion, but a
much greater for this book; which is, all at once, true, solid, and
bright. It contains even epigrams; what can one wish for
more?
Mr.---will, I suppose, have left Paris by
this time for his residence at Toulouse. I hope he will acquire
manners there; I am sure he wants them. He is awkward, he is
silent, and has nothing agreeable in his address,-most necessary
qualifications to distinguish one's self in business, as well as in
the POLITE WORLD! In truth, these two things are so connected, that
a man cannot make a figure in business, who is not qualified to
shine in the great world; and to succeed perfectly in either the
one or the other, one must be in 'utrumque paratus'. May you be
that, my dear friend! and so we wish you a good night.
P. S. Lord and Lady Blessington, with their
son Lord Mountjoy, will be at Paris next week, in their way to the
south of France; I send you a little packet of books by them. Pray
go wait upon them, as soon as you hear of their arrival, and show
them all the attentions you can.
LETTER
CXXXIX
LONDON, April 22,
O. S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: I apply to you now, as to
the greatest virtuoso of this, or perhaps any other age; one whose
superior judgment and distinguishing eye hindered the King of
Poland from buying a bad picture at Venice, and whose decisions in
the realms of 'virtu' are final, and without appeal. Now to the
point. I have had a catalogue sent me, 'd'une Trente a l'aimable de
Tableaux des plus Grands Maitres, appartenans au Sieur Araignon
Aperen, valet de chambre de la Reine, sur le quai de la Megisserie,
au coin de Arche Marion'. There I observe two large pictures of
Titian, as described in the inclosed page of the catalogue, No. 18,
which I should be glad to purchase upon two conditions: the first
is, that they be undoubted originals of Titian, in good
preservation; and the other that they come cheap. To ascertain the
first (but without disparaging your skill), I wish you would get
some undoubted connoisseurs to examine them carefully: and if, upon
such critical examination, they should be unanimously allowed to be
undisputed originals of Titian, and well preserved, then comes the
second point, the price: I will not go above two hundred pounds
sterling for the two together; but as much less as you can get them
for. I acknowledge that two hundred pounds seems to be a very small
sum for two undoubted Titians of that size; but, on the other hand,
as large Italian pictures are now out of fashion at Paris, where
fashion decides of everything, and as these pictures are too large
for common rooms, they may possibly come within the price above
limited. I leave the whole of this transaction (the price excepted,
which I will not exceed) to your consummate skill and prudence,
with proper advice joined to them. Should you happen to buy them
for that price, carry them to your own lodgings, and get a frame
made to the second, which I observe has none, exactly the same with
the other frame, and have the old one new gilt; and then get them
carefully packed up, and sent me by Rouen.
I hear much of your conversing with 'les
beaux esprits' at Paris: I am very glad of it; it gives a degree of
reputation, especially at Paris; and their conversation is
generally instructive, though sometimes affected. It must be owned,
that the polite conversation of the men and women of fashion at
Paris, though not always very deep, is much less futile and
frivolous than ours here. It turns at least upon some subject,
something of taste, some point of history, criticism, and even
philosophy; which, though probably not quite so solid as Mr.
Locke's, is, however, better, and more becoming rational beings,
than our frivolous dissertations upon the weather, or upon whist.
Monsieur du Clos observes, and I think very justly, 'qu'il y a a
present en France une fermentation universelle de la raison qui
tend a se developper'. Whereas, I am sorry to say, that here that
fermentation seems to have been over some years ago, the spirit
evaporated, and only the dregs left. Moreover, 'les beaux esprits'
at Paris are commonly well-bred, which ours very frequently are
not; with the former your manners will be formed; with the latter,
wit must generally be compounded for at the expense of manners. Are
you acquainted with Marivaux, who has certainly studied, and is
well acquainted with the heart; but who refines so much upon its
'plis et replis', and describes them so affectedly, that he often
is unintelligible to his readers, and sometimes so, I dare say, to
himself? Do you know 'Crebillon le fils'? He is a fine painter and
a pleasing writer; his characters are admirable and his reflections
just. Frequent these people, and be glad, but not proud of
frequenting them: never boast of it, as a proof of your own merit,
nor insult, in a manner, other companies by telling them affectedly
what you, Montesquieu and Fontenelle were talking of the other day;
as I have known many people do here, with regard to Pope and Swift,
who had never been twice in company with either; nor carry into
other companies the 'ton' of those meetings of 'beaux esprits'.
Talk literature, taste, philosophy, etc., with them, 'a la bonne
heure'; but then, with the same ease, and more 'enjouement', talk
'pom-pons, moires', etc., with Madame de Blot, if she requires it.
Almost every subject in the world has its proper time and place; in
which no one is above or below discussion. The point is, to talk
well upon the subject you talk upon; and the most trifling,
frivolous subjects will still give a man of parts an opportunity of
showing them. 'L'usage du grand monde' can alone teach that. That
was the distinguishing characteristic of Alcibiades, and a happy
one it was, that he could occasionally, and with so much ease,
adopt the most different, and even the most opposite habits and
manners, that each seemed natural to him. Prepare yourself for the
great world, as the 'athletae' used to do for their exercises: oil
(if I may use that expression) your mind and your manners, to give
them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength alone will
not do, as young people are too apt to think.
How do your exercises go on? Can you manage
a pretty vigorous 'sauteur' between the pillars? Are you got into
stirrups yet? 'Faites-vous assaut aux armes? But, above all, what
does Marcel say of you? Is he satisfied? Pray be more particular in
your accounts of yourself, for though I have frequent accounts of
you from others, I desire to have your own too. Adieu. Yours, truly
and friendly.
LETTER
CXL
LONDON, May 2, O.
S. 1751
DEAR FRIEND: Two accounts, which I have very
lately received of you, from two good judges, have put me into
great spirits, as they have given me reasonable hopes that you will
soon acquire all that I believe you want: I mean the air, the
address; the graces, and the manners of a man of fashion. As these
two pictures of you are very unlike that which I received, and sent
you some months ago, I will name the two painters: the first is an
old friend and acquaintance of mine, Monsieur d'Aillon. His picture
is, I hope, like you; for it is a very good one: Monsieur Tollot's
is still a better, and so advantageous a one, that I will not send
you a copy of it, for fear of making you too vain. So far only I
will tell you, that there was but one BUT in either of their
accounts; and it was this: I gave d'Aillon the question ordinary
and extraordinary, upon the important article of manners; and
extorted this from him: But, since you will know it, he still wants
that last beautiful varnish, which raises the colors, and gives
brilliancy to the piece. Be persuaded that he will acquire it: he
has too much sense not to know its value; and if I am not greatly
mistaken, more persons than one are now endeavoring to give it him.
Monsieur Tollot says: "In order to be exactly all that you wish
him, he only wants those little nothings, those graces in detail,
and that amiable ease, which can only be acquired by usage of the
great world. I am assured that he is, in that respect, in good
hands. I do not know whether that does not rather imply in fine
arms." Without entering into a nice discussion of the last
question, I congratulate you and myself upon your being so near
that point at which I so anxiously wish you to arrive. I am sure
that all your attention and endeavors will be exerted; and, if
exerted, they will succeed. Mr. Tollot says, that you are inclined
to be fat, but I hope you will decline it as much as you can; not
by taking anything corrosive to make you lean, but by taking as
little as you can of those things that would make you fat. Drink no
chocolate; take your coffee without cream: you cannot possibly
avoid suppers at Paris, unless you avoid company too, which I would
by no means have you do; but eat as little at supper as you can,
and make even an allowance for that little at your dinners. Take
occasionally a double dose of riding and fencing; and now that
summer is come, walk a good deal in the Tuileries. It is a real
inconvenience to anybody to be fat, and besides it is ungraceful
for a young fellow. 'A propos', I had like to have forgot to tell
you, that I charged Tollot to attend particularly to your utterence
and diction; two points of the utmost importance. To the first he
says: "His enunciation is not bad, but it is to be wished that it
were still better; and he expresses himself with more fire than
elegance. Usage of good company will instruct him likewise in
that." These, I allow, are all little things, separately; but
aggregately, they make a most important and great article in the
account of a gentleman. In the House of Commons you can never make
a figure without elegance of style, and gracefulness of utterance;
and you can never succeed as a courtier at your own Court, or as a
minister at any other, without those innumerable 'petite riens dans
les manieres, et dans les attentions'. Mr. Yorke is by this time at
Paris; make your court to him, but not so as to disgust, in the
least, Lord Albemarle, who may possibly dislike your considering
Mr. Yorke as the man of business, and him as only 'pour orner la
scene'. Whatever your opinion may be upon THAT POINT, take care not
to let it appear; but be well with them both by showing no public
preference to either.
Though I must necessarily fall into
repetitions by treating the same subject so often, I cannot help
recommending to you again the utmost attention to your air and
address. Apply yourself now to Marcel's lectures, as diligently as
you did formerly to Professor Mascow's; desire him to teach you
every genteel attitude that the human body can be put into; let him
make you go in and out of his room frequently, and present yourself
to him, as if he were by turns different persons; such as a
minister, a lady, a superior, an equal, and inferior, etc. Learn to
seat genteelly in different companies; to loll genteelly, and with
good manners, in those companies where you are authorized to be
free, and to sit up respectfully where the same freedom is not
allowable. Learn even to compose your countenance occasionally to
the respectful, the cheerful, and the insinuating. Take particular
care that the motions of your hands and arms be easy and graceful;
for the genteelness of a man consists more in them than in anything
else, especially in his dancing. Desire some women to tell you of
any little awkwardness that they observe in your carriage; they are
the best judges of those things; and if they are satisfied, the men
will be so too. Think now only of the decorations. Are you
acquainted with Madame Geoffrain, who has a great deal of wit; and
who, I am informed, receives only the very best company in her
house? Do you know Madame du Pin, who, I remember, had beauty, and
I hear has wit and reading? I could wish you to converse only with
those who, either from their rank, their merit, or their beauty,
require constant attention; for a young man can never improve in
company where he thinks he may neglect himself. A new bow must be
constantly kept bent; when it grows older, and has taken the right
turn, it may now and then be relaxed.
I have this moment paid your draft of L89
75s.; it was signed in a very good hand; which proves that a good
hand may be written without the assistance of magic. Nothing
provokes me much more, than to hear people indolently say that they
cannot do, what is in everybody's power to do, if it be but in
their will. Adieu.
LETTER
CXLI
LONDON, May 6, O.
S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: The best authors are always
the severest critics of their own works; they revise, correct,
file, and polish them, till they think they have brought them to
perfection. Considering you as my work, I do not look upon myself
as a bad author, and am therefore a severe critic. I examine
narrowly into the least inaccuracy or inelegance, in order to
correct, not to expose them, and that the work may be perfect at
last. You are, I know, exceedingly improved in your air, address,
and manners, since you have been at Paris; but still there is, I
believe, room for further improvement before you come to that
perfection which I have set my heart upon seeing you arrive at; and
till that moment I must continue filing and polishing. In a letter
that I received by last post, from a friend of yours at Paris,
there was this paragraph: "I have the honor to assure you, without
flattery, that Mr. Stanhope succeeds beyond what might be expected
from a person of his age. He goes into very good company; and that
kind of manner, which was at first thought to be too decisive and
peremptory, is now judged otherwise; because it is acknowledged to
be the effect of an ingenuous frankness, accompanied by politeness,
and by a proper deference. He studies to please, and succeeds.
Madame du Puisieux was the other day speaking of him with
complacency and friendship. You will be satisfied with him in all
respects." This is extremely well, and I rejoice at it: one little
circumstance only may, and I hope will, be altered for the better.
Take pains to undeceive those who thought that 'petit ton un peu
delcide et un peu brusque'; as it is not meant so, let it not
appear so. Compose your countenance to an air of gentleness and
'douceur', use some expressions of diffidence of your own opinion,
and deference to other people's; such as, "If I might be permitted
to say-I should think-Is it not rather so? At least I have the
greatest reason to be diffident of myself." Such mitigating,
engaging words do by no means weaken your argument; but, on the
contrary, make it more powerful by making it more pleasing. If it
is a quick and hasty manner of speaking that people mistake 'pour
decide et brusque', prevent their mistakes for the future by
speaking more deliberately, and taking a softer tone of voice; as
in this case you are free from the guilt, be free from the
suspicion, too. Mankind, as I have often told you, are more
governed by appearances than by realities; and with regard to
opinion, one had better be really rough and hard, with the
appearance of gentleness and softness, than just the reverse. Few
people have penetration enough to discover, attention enough to
observe, or even concern enough to examine beyond the exterior;
they take their notions from the surface, and go no deeper: they
commend, as the gentlest and best-natured man in the world, that
man who has the most engaging exterior manner, though possibly they
have been but once in his company. An air, a tone of voice, a
composure of countenance to mildness and softness, which are all
easily acquired, do the business: and without further examination,
and possibly with the contrary qualities, that man is reckoned the
gentlest, the modestest, and the best-natured man alive. Happy the
man, who, with a certain fund of parts and knowledge, gets
acquainted with the world early enough to make it his bubble, at an
age when most people are the bubbles of the world! for that is the
common case of youth. They grow wiser when it is too late; and,
ashamed and vexed at having been bubbles so long, too often turn
knaves at last. Do not therefore trust to appearances and outside
yourself, but pay other people with them; because you may be sure
that nine in ten of mankind do, and ever will trust to them. This
is by no means a criminal or blamable simulation, if not used with
an ill intention. I am by no means blamable in desiring to have
other people's good word, good-will, and affection, if I do not
mean to abuse them. Your heart, I know, is good, your sense is
sound, and your knowledge extensive. What then remains for you to
do? Nothing, but to adorn those fundamental qualifications, with
such engaging and captivating manners, softness, and gentleness, as
will endear you to those who are able to judge of your real merit,
and which always stand in the stead of merit with those who are
not. I do not mean by this to recommend to you 'le fade doucereux',
the insipid softness of a gentle fool; no, assert your own opinion,
oppose other people's when wrong; but let your manner, your air,
your terms, and your tone of voice, be soft and gentle, and that
easily and naturally, not affectedly. Use palliatives when you
contradict; such as I MAY BE MISTAKEN, I AM NOT SURE, BUT I
BELIEVE, I SHOULD RATHER THINK, etc. Finish any argument or dispute
with some little good-humored pleasantry, to show that you are
neither hurt yourself, nor meant to hurt your antagonist; for an
argument, kept up a good while, often occasions a temporary
alienation on each side. Pray observe particularly, in those French
people who are distinguished by that character, 'cette douceur de
moeurs et de manieres', which they talk of so much, and value so
justly; see in what it consists; in mere trifles, and most easy to
be acquired, where the heart is really good. Imitate, copy it, till
it becomes habitual and easy to you. Without a compliment to you, I
take it to be the only thing you now want: nothing will sooner give
it you than a real passion, or, at least, 'un gout vif', for some
woman of fashion; and, as I suppose that you have either the one or
the other by this time, you are consequently in the best school.
Besides this, if you were to say to Lady Hervey, Madame Monconseil,
or such others as you look upon to be your friends, It is said that
I have a kind of manner which is rather too decisive and too
peremptory; it is not, however, my intention that it should be so;
I entreat you to correct, and even publicly to punish me whenever I
am guilty. Do not treat me with the least indulgence, but criticise
to the utmost. So clear-sighted a judge as you has a right to be
severe; and I promise you that the criminal will endeavor to
correct himself. Yesterday I had two of your acquaintances to dine
with me, Baron B. and his companion Monsieur S. I cannot say of the
former, 'qu'il est paitri de graces'; and I would rather advise him
to go and settle quietly at home, than to think of improving
himself by further travels. 'Ce n'est pas le bois don't on en
fait'. His companion is much better, though he has a strong 'tocco
di tedesco'. They both spoke well of you, and so far I liked them
both. How go you on with the amiable little Blot? Does she listen
to your Battering tale? Are you numbered among the list of her
admirers? Is Madame---your Madame de Lursay? Does she sometimes
knot, and are you her Meilcour? They say she has softness, sense,
and engaging manners; in such an apprenticeship much may be
learned.-[This whole passage, and several others, allude to
Crebillon's 'Egaremens du Coeur et de l'Esprit', a sentimental
novel written about that time, and then much in vogue at
Paris.]
A woman like her, who has always pleased,
and often been pleased, can best teach the art of pleasing; that
art, without which, 'ogni fatica vana'. Marcel's lectures are no
small part of that art: they are the engaging forerunner of all
other accomplishments. Dress is also an article not to be
neglected, and I hope you do not neglect it; it helps in the
'premier abord', which is often decisive. By dress, I mean your
clothes being well made, fitting you, in the fashion and not above
it; your hair well done, and a general cleanliness and spruceness
in your person. I hope you take infinite care of your teeth; the
consequences of neglecting the mouth are serious, not only to one's
self, but to others. In short, my dear child, neglect nothing; a
little more will complete the whole. Adieu. I have not heard from
you these three weeks, which I think a great while.
LETTER
CXLII
LONDON, May 10, O.
S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: I received yesterday, at the
same time, your letters of the 4th and 11th, N. S., and being much
more careful of my commissions than you are of yours, I do not
delay one moment sending you my final instructions concerning the
pictures. The man you allow to be a Titian, and in good
preservation; the woman is an indifferent and a damaged picture;
but as I want them for furniture for a particular room, companions
are necessary; and therefore I am willing to take the woman for
better for worse, upon account of the man; and if she is not too
much damaged, I can have her tolerably repaired, as many a fine
woman is, by a skillful hand here; but then I expect that the lady
should be, in a manner, thrown into the bargain with the man; and,
in this state of affairs, the woman being worth little or nothing,
I will not go above fourscore Louis for the two together. As for
the Rembrandt you mention, though it is very cheap, if good, I do
not care for it. I love 'la belle nature'; Rembrandt paints
caricatures. Now for your own commissions, which you seem to have
forgotten. You mention nothing of the patterns which you received
by Monsieur Tollot, though I told you in a former letter, which you
must have had before the date of your last, that I should stay till
I received the patterns pitched upon by your ladies; for as to the
instructions which you sent me in Madame Monconseil's hand, I could
find no mohairs in London that exactly answered that description; I
shall, therefore, wait till you send me (which you may easily do in
a letter) the patterns chosen by your three graces.
I would, by all means, have you go now and
then, for two or three days, to Marechal Coigny's, at Orli; it is
but a proper civility to that family, which has been particularly
civil to you; and, moreover, I would have you familiarize yourself
with, and learn the interior and domestic manners of, people of
that rank and fashion. I also desire that you will frequent
Versailles and St. Cloud, at both of which courts you have been
received with distinction. Profit of that distinction, and
familiarize yourself at both. Great courts are the seats of true
good-breeding; you are to live at courts, lose no time in learning
them. Go and stay sometimes at Versailles for three or four days,
where you will be domestic in the best families, by means of your
friend Madame de Puisieux; and mine, l'Abbe de la Ville. Go to the
King's and the Dauphin's levees, and distinguish yourself from the
rest of your countrymen, who, I dare say, never go there when they
can help it. Though the young Frenchmen of fashion may not be worth
forming intimate connections with, they are well worth making
acquaintance of; and I do not see how you can avoid it, frequenting
so many good French houses as you do, where, to be sure, many of
them come. Be cautious how you contract friendships, but be
desirous, and even industrious, to obtain a universal acquaintance.
Be easy, and even forward, in making new acquaintances; that is the
only way of knowing manners and characters in general, which is, at
present, your great object. You are 'enfant de famille' in three
ministers' houses; but I wish you had a footing, at least, in
thirteen and that, I should think, you might easily bring about, by
that common chain, which, to a certain degree, connects those you
do not with those you do know.
For instance, I suppose that neither Lord
Albemarle, nor Marquis de St. Germain, would make the least
difficulty to present you to Comte Caunitz, the Nuncio, etc. 'Il
faut etre rompu du monde', which can only be done by an extensive,
various, and almost universal acquaintance.
When you have got your emaciated Philomath,
I desire that his triangles, rhomboids, etc., may not keep you one
moment out of the good company you would otherwise be in. Swallow
all your learning in the morning, but digest it in company in the
evenings. The reading of ten new characters is more your business
now, than the reading of twenty old books; showish and shining
people always get the better of all others, though ever so solid.
If you would be a great man in the world when you are old, shine
and be showish in it while you are young, know everybody, and
endeavor to please everybody, I mean exteriorly; for fundamentally
it is impossible. Try to engage the heart of every woman, and the
affections of almost every man you meet with. Madame Monconseil
assures me that you are most surprisingly improved in your air,
manners, and address: go on, my dear child, and never think that
you are come to a sufficient degree of perfection; 'Nil actum
reputans, si quid superesset agendum'; and in those shining parts
of the character of a gentleman, there is always something
remaining to be acquired. Modes and manners vary in different
places, and at different times; you must keep pace with them, know
them, and adopt them, wherever you find them. The great usage of
the world, the knowledge of characters, the brillant dun 'galant
homme,' is all that you now want. Study Marcel and the 'beau monde'
with great application, but read Homer and Horace only when you
have nothing else to do. Pray who is 'la belle Madame de Case',
whom I know you frequent? I like the epithet given her very well:
if she deserves it, she deserves your attention too. A man of
fashion should be gallant to a fine woman, though he does not make
love to her, or may be otherwise engaged. On 'lui doit des
politesses, on fait l'eloge de ses charmes, et il n'en est ni plus
ni moins pour cela': it pleases, it flatters; you get their good
word, and you lose nothing by it. These 'gentillesses' should be
accompanied, as indeed everything else should, with an air: 'un
air, un ton de douceur et de politesse'. Les graces must be of the
party, or it will never do; and they are so easily had, that it is
astonishing to me that everybody has them not; they are sooner
gained than any woman of common reputation and decency. Pursue them
but with care and attention, and you are sure to enjoy them at
last: without them, I am sure, you will never enjoy anybody else.
You observe, truly, that Mr.---is gauche; it is to be hoped that
will mend with keeping company; and is yet pardonable in him, as
just come from school. But reflect what you would think of a man,
who had been any time in the world, and yet should be so awkward.
For God's sake, therefore, now think of nothing but shining, and
even distinguishing yourself in the most polite courts, by your
air, your address, your manners, your politeness, your 'douceur',
your graces. With those advantages (and not without them) take my
word for it, you will get the better of all rivals, in business as
well as in 'ruelles'. Adieu. Send me your patterns, by the next
post, and also your instructions to Grevenkop about the seal, which
you seem to have forgotten.
LETTER
CXLIII
LONDON, May 16, O.
S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: In about three months from
this day, we shall probably meet. I look upon that moment as a
young woman does upon her bridal night; I expect the greatest
pleasure, and yet cannot help fearing some little mixture of pain.
My reason bids me doubt a little, of what my imagination makes me
expect. In some articles I am very sure that my most sanguine
wishes will not be disappointed; and those are the most material
ones. In others, I fear something or other, which I can better feel
than describe. However, I will attempt it. I fear the want of that
amiable and engaging 'je ne sais quoi', which as some philosophers
have, unintelligibly enough, said of the soul, is all in all, and
all in every part; it should shed its influence over every word and
action. I fear the want of that air, and first 'abord', which
suddenly lays hold of the heart, one does not know distinctly how
or why. I fear an inaccuracy, or, at least, inelegance of diction,
which will wrong, and lower, the best and justest matter. And,
lastly, I fear an ungraceful, if not an unpleasant utterance, which
would disgrace and vilify the whole. Should these fears be at
present founded, yet the objects of them are (thank God) of such a
nature, that you may, if you please, between this and our meeting,
remove everyone of them. All these engaging and endearing
accomplishments are mechanical, and to be acquired by care and
observation, as easily as turning, or any mechanical trade. A
common country fellow, taken from the plow, and enlisted in an old
corps, soon lays aside his shambling gait, his slouching air, his
clumsy and awkward motions: and acquires the martial air, the
regular motions, and whole exercise of the corps, and particularly
of his right and left hand man. How so? Not from his parts; which
were just the same before as after he was enlisted; but either from
a commendable ambition of being like, and equal to those he is to
live with; or else from the fear of being punished for not being
so. If then both or either of these motives change such a fellow,
in about six months' time, to such a degree, as that he is not to
be known again, how much stronger should both these motives be with
you, to acquire, in the utmost perfection, the whole exercise of
the people of fashion, with whom you are to live all your life?
Ambition should make you resolve to be at least their equal in that
exercise, as well as the fear of punishment; which most inevitably
will attend the want of it. By that exercise, I mean the air, the
manners, the graces, and the style of people of fashion. A friend
of yours, in a letter I received from him by the last post, after
some other commendations of you, says, "It is surprising that,
thinking with so much solidity as he does, and having so true and
refined a taste, he should express himself with so little elegance
and delicacy. He even totally neglects the choice of words and turn
of phrases."
This I should not be so much surprised or
concerned at, if it related only to the English language; which
hitherto you have had no opportunity of studying, and but few of
speaking, at least to those who could correct your inaccuracies.
But if you do not express yourself elegantly and delicately in
French and German, (both which languages I know you possess
perfectly and speak eternally) it can be only from an unpardonable
inattention to what you most erroneously think a little object,
though, in truth, it is one of the most important of your life.
Solidity and delicacy of thought must be given us: it cannot be
acquired, though it may be improved; but elegance and delicacy of
expression may be acquired by whoever will take the necessary care
and pains. I am sure you love me so well; that you would be very
sorry when we meet, that I should be either disappointed or
mortified; and I love you so well, that I assure you I should be
both, if I should find you want any of those exterior
accomplishments which are the indispensably necessary steps to that
figure and fortune, which I so earnestly wish you may one day make
in the world.
I hope you do not neglect your exercises of
riding, fencing, and dancing, but particularly the latter: for they
all concur to 'degourdir', and to give a certain air. To ride well,
is not only a proper and graceful accomplishment for a gentleman,
but may also save you many a fall hereafter; to fence well, may
possibly save your life; and to dance well, is absolutely necessary
in order to sit, stand, and walk well. To tell you the truth, my
friend, I have some little suspicion that you now and then neglect
or omit your exercises, for more serious studies. But now 'non est
his locus', everything has its time; and this is yours for your
exercises; for when you return to Paris I only propose your
continuing your dancing; which you shall two years longer, if you
happen to be where there is a good dancing-master. Here I will see
you take some lessons with your old master Desnoyers, who is our
Marcel.
What says Madame du Pin to you? I am told
she is very handsome still; I know she was some few years ago. She
has good parts, reading, manners, and delicacy: such an arrangement
would be both creditable and advantageous to you. She will expect
to meet with all the good-breeding and delicacy that she brings;
and as she is past the glare and 'eclat' of youth, may be the more
willing to listen to your story, if you tell it well. For an
attachment, I should prefer her to 'la petite Blot'; and, for a
mere gallantry, I should prefer 'la petite Blot' to her; so that
they are consistent, et 'l'un n'emplche pas l'autre'. Adieu.
Remember 'la douceur et les graces'.
LETTER
CXLIV
LONDON, May 23, O.
S. 1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND: I have this moment received
your letter of the 25th N. S., and being rather something more
attentive to my commissions than you are to yours, return you this
immediate answer to the question you ask me about the two pictures:
I will not give one livre more than what I told you in my last;
having no sort of occasion for them, and not knowing very well
where to put them if I had them.
I wait with impatience for your final orders
about the mohairs; the mercer persecuting me every day for three
pieces which I thought pretty, and which I have kept by me
eventually, to secure them in case your ladies should pitch upon
them.
If I durst! what should hinder you from
daring? One always dares if there are hopes of success; and even if
there are none, one is no loser by daring. A man of fashion knows
how, and when, to dare. He begins his approaches by distant
attacks, by assiduities, and by attentions. If he is not
immediately and totally repulsed, he continues to advance. After
certain steps success is infallible; and none but very silly
fellows can then either doubt, or not attempt it. Is it the
respectable character of Madame de la Valiere which prevents your
daring, or are you intimidated at the fierce virtue of Madame du
Pin? Does the invincible modesty of the handsome Madame Case
discourage, more than her beauty invites you? Fie, for shame! Be
convinced that the most virtuous woman, far from being offended at
a declaration of love, is flattered by it, if it is made in a
polite and agreeable manner. It is possible that she may not be
propitious to your vows; that is to say, if she has a liking or a
passion for another person. But, at all events, she will not be
displeased with you for it; so that, as there is no danger, this
cannot even be called daring. But if she attends, if she listens,
and allows you to repeat your declaration, be persuaded that if you
do not dare all the rest, she will laugh at you. I advise you to
begin rather by Madame du Pin, who has still more than beauty
enough for such a youngster as you. She has, besides, knowledge of
the world, sense, and delicacy. As she is not so extremely young,
the choice of her lovers cannot be entirely at her option. I
promise you, she will not refuse the tender of your most humble
services. Distinguish her, then, by attentions and by tender looks.
Take favorable opportunities of whispering that you wish esteem and
friendship were the only motives of your regard for her; but that
it derives from sentiments of a much more tender nature: that you
made not this declaration without pain; but that the concealing
your passion was a still greater torment.
I am sensible, that in saying this for the
first time, you will look silly, abashed, and even express yourself
very ill. So much the better; for, instead of attributing your
confusion to the little usage you have of the world, particularly
in these sort of subjects, she will think that excess of love is
the occasion of it. In such a case, the lover's best friend is
self-love. Do not then be afraid; behave gallantly. Speak well, and
you will be heard. If you are not listened to the first time, try a
second, a third, and a fourth. If the place is not already taken,
depend upon it, it may be conquered.
I am very glad you are going to Orli, and
from thence to St. Cloud; go to both, and to Versailles also,
often. It is that interior domestic familiarity with people of
fashion, that alone can give you 'l'usage du monde, et les manieres
aisees'. It is only with women one loves, or men one respects, that
the desire of pleasing exerts itself; and without the desire of
pleasing no man living can please. Let that desire be the spring of
all your words and actions. That happy talent, the art of pleasing,
which so few do, though almost all might possess, is worth all your
learning and knowledge put together. The latter can never raise you
high without the former; but the former may carry you, as it has
carried thousands, a great way without the latter.
I am glad that you dance so well, as to be
reckoned by Marcel among his best scholars; go on, and dance better
still. Dancing well is pleasing 'pro tanto', and makes a part of
that necessary whole, which is composed of a thousand parts, many
of them of 'les infiniment petits quoi qu'infiniment
necessaires'.
I shall never have done upon this subject
which is indispensably necessary toward your making any figure or
fortune in the world; both which I have set my heart upon, and for
both which you now absolutely want no one thing but the art of
pleasing; and I must not conceal from you that you have still a
good way to go before you arrive at it. You still want a thousand
of those little attentions that imply a desire of pleasing: you
want a 'douceur' of air and expression that engages: you want an
elegance and delicacy of expression, necessary to adorn the best
sense and most solid matter: in short, you still want a great deal
of the 'brillant' and the 'poli'. Get them at any rate: sacrifice
hecatombs of books to them: seek for them in company, and renounce
your closet till you have got them. I never received the letter you
refer to, if ever you wrote it. Adieu, et bon soir,
Monseigneur.
LETTER
CXLV
GREENWICH, June 6,
O. S. 1751.