Secrets
Ihear their voices before I see
them. Admete's high, carefree laugh floats above Kallirhoe's gentle
murmur. I round the trees and Ianthe looks up from a pile of little
daisies. She slits a stem with her thumbnail and slides the next
one through, making a crown.
Galaxaura holds out her hand and pulls me
down next to her on the sand. "Good! Persephone's finally
here."
I jerk my hand back, afraid she'll feel how
fast my pulse is beating.
Ianthe picks up another stem, then freezes,
suddenly alert. "Something else is here, too. Something
new."
She closes her eyes in concentration. She looks like an
oracle, reading the future in wisps of temple smoke. Then her
eyes pop open.
"Don't you smell it? There's a new flower in
the vale."
"Is that all?" Kallirhoe lies back on the
warm sand. "I thought for a second it was going to be
important."
Ianthe glares at her. "Just because you're a
water nymph, you think flowers aren't important? I suppose I'm not
that important, either. I'm only a violet nymph. Well, excuse
me."
"That's not what I meant, Ianthe. And I
can't smell the flowers as well as you can. It's not like they're
my cousins." Kallirhoe gives an exaggerated sniff. "All I
smell is lavender."
"And mint," says Admete, "from up on my
mountainside. What about you, Persephone? Can you make it
out?"
I close my eyes, trying to focus, trying to
be here with my friends, playing their game so they won't look at
me too closely or ask where I've been. I take a deep
breath.
The flowers are all vying for attention,
with my mother's roses winning the competition, as usual. But in a
minute I start to tease apart the strands: Admete's mint, and
Ianthe's own perfume, and— There it is. As soon as I single out the
scent, I see a white flower swaying next to a golden chariot. My
eyes fly open like I was pricked with a pin.
Galaxaura laughs. "It must be pretty
exciting after all. Look at Persephone, everyone!"
Admete stands up, shaking sand from the
folds of her blue chiton. "Then let's go find it. We'll follow the
scent. And Ianthe can greet her long-lost cousin
properly."
Admete, with her lithe limbs and bursting
energy. Admete, who wants nothing more than to sneak out of the
vale and meet men. I imagine her striding right up to the man in
the meadow. I imagine him looking her up and down with an
appraising eye.
"No!" My voice is too loud. Everyone stares
at me. "It's too hot."
"Too hot?" says Galaxaura. "It's not
hot."
He's long gone by now; there's nothing for
them to find. Except—what if they see the broken stems where his
chariot landed? Or what if they find the meadow and fall in love
with it because it's beautiful and new, and they come back later,
when he's there, and—
"And I'm tired. I just got here."
I close my eyes again, trying to look
exhausted. I hear his voice; I feel it pulse in the air around
me.
When I open my eyes again, Galaxaura is
staring at my face. Sometimes I hate how she seems to see right
through me, the same way her breeze clears the lake and leaves it
like crystal. I need to distract her.
"No offense, Ianthe," I say, "but I think we
should do something more exciting today. We're free as birds. My
mother left for three days. She has some big festival, the
Thesmo-something."
"Thesmophoria!" cries Admete. "Then she's
the one having all the excitement."
"That's it. I asked if I could go. Surprise,
surprise; she wouldn't let me."
Admete laughs knowingly. "That's because it
isn't for innocent little girls like you."
Let her tease me. She's got their attention
now.
She lies back on the sand with a naughty
smile. She loves it when everyone is staring at her. "No, it's
definitely too much for someone of your tender
sensibilities."
"Why?" asks Kallirhoe. "What do the mortals
do?"
"What don't they do! They load up carts with
enough food and bedding to camp outside town for three days. Women
only, mind you, no men. Men would be too shocked to see how their
sweet wives commune with Demeter to get a good harvest. That's why
women lie and say it's a somber time, so men will let them
go."
No men. Why am I not surprised?
"They must use indecent language," prods
Ianthe.
"The foulest, and they dance with total
abandon, as if Dionysus himself loosed their bonds with his heady
wine. It's out of control. And then there are the pigs."
"Pigs?" Kallirhoe is incredulous. "What does
that have to do with the harvest?"
"They toss baby piglets into pits for snakes
to eat, and haul back up decayed remains from the year before, and
mix them with seed grain and prayers to scatter on the earth. Then
there are cakes baked in unspeakable shapes, and—"
"What unspeakable shapes?" asks Ianthe,
laughing.
"You know. It is a fertility
festival, after all."
"Wait a minute," I say. "This is my mother
you're talking about. She has fits if my dress is too revealing.
She won't even let me give up my dolls."
Admete hauls herself back up to sitting and
stares at me like I'm an idiot.
"When are you going to realize your mother
is one powerful goddess? You only see her here in the vale, where
she's the mommy and you're her baby girl. Don't you know what she's
capable of? Why do you think everyone is so careful to keep her
happy?"
"Hey, I know," says Kallirhoe, sculpting an
interesting shape in the sand. "Let's do a little baking
ourselves."
Everyone howls with laughter, and I know
they've forgotten all about following the new scent.
I look at my crumpled clothes. I think I
know where I put my saffron chiton for tomorrow. And my tangled
hair needs combing.
I wrap my fingers around a flat, polished
stone, hiding it like a secret in the palm of my hand.