The Door
Icross the forecourt and climb the
steps. This time it's easy finding Hades. Loud voices rise from a
closed room. We have company.
That's not going to stop me.
I push open the heavy door, and Hades' voice
snaps off abruptly, like a sword coming down on an enemy's neck.
There's dead silence. The air is thick. It's like I'm wading into
the room.
Hermes stands by the window, his arms
crossed tightly in front of his chest. He stares over at me, his
mouth a thin, determined slash.
Hades is leaning over our inlaid gaming
table, clenching the sides so tightly, a crack snakes across the
polished wood. His eyes blaze at Hermes as pure and destructive as
fire, like Cerberus on the attack. His head pivots toward me, and
he straightens, letting the table go. Two halves clatter to the
floor.
He strides over and slams a possessive arm
around my shoulders. I tighten my hold on the
pomegranate.
I'm not even going to ask. Whatever it is, I
don't care. Nothing will change my mind. I'm going to talk to
Hades. Now.
"Hermes, I need to speak with my
husband."
Hermes doesn't budge. Hades is gripping me
too tightly. I look from one face to the other.
"Alone," I say.
"There isn't time," says Hermes. "I have my
orders."
"Damn your orders," says Hades.
He swivels me around to face him. My hand,
cradling the pomegranate, is trapped between us.
"Your mother has played her hand," he says,
anger dripping like venom.
"She made a deal with Zeus," says Hermes,
not moving from the window. "You come back, she stops. No more
destruction. She'll allow sun and rain in balance. Crops will grow,
animals fatten, people thrive, and the gods will be appeased with
their sacrifices again."
"Zeus can do that? He can call me back?" I ask.
The two of them answer simultaneously.
"Yes," says Hermes.
"No," says my husband.
The "no" slides off my back like water. I
can't believe my luck! Now I can do everything I need to do, with
an easy chariot ride back to Philomena and my mother.
"Give me an hour to change," I say, looking
down at my chiton. Mud and dirt mingle with browning smears of
blood from Melita's arm.
"What?" says Hades, incredulous. "You want
to leave?"
"This won't take long," I say. "There's
something I have to do on Earth—I'll tell you later, when there's
time—and my mother needs to see I'm all right. She's worried about
me; that's why she's trying to bring me home. Back in the throne
room, I was still figuring it out. I tried to tell you."
"Oh, you didn't need to tell him," says
Hermes. "He knew, from the day you got here."
I shake my head at him. "He's glad to have
more subjects, I know that, but he wouldn't keep something this
important from me."
But that's no expression of innocence I'm
seeing on Hades' brow. He's seething.
"Traitor!" he snarls at Hermes.
Hermes is cold and determined. "He knew your
mother was doing everything she could to bring you back, and he
liked the results. He said not to tell you."
"Not to tell me!" I stare up into Hades'
eyes. "Say that's not true. Go on, say it."
He looks away.
My heart plummets. So he knew all along.
That whole time I was worrying about my mother trying to force me
back, it was Hades manipulating me, using me to gain power and
covering it up with kisses. And I just trotted alongside as
obediently as one of his horses.
I'm not feeling so obedient now.
"Mortals have been dying in my name and you
didn't bother to tell me? I thought you loved me! But you don't
even trust me with the truth. What kind of love is that? Or
maybe"—I pause for a second, my disbelief deepening into
anger—"maybe you only pretended to love me back in the vale, so I'd
come with you! You knew what my mother would do to get me
back. You knew more people would die. Is that all I am for
you? A weapon for your war?"
"That's one accusation you can't make,"
growls Hades. "I didn't pretend. I love you. But I thought once you
heard, you'd go soft-hearted and leave. Was I so wrong? Look at you
now, ready to run home to your mother."
I don't believe this!
"You never even let me talk about Earth!" I
say. "Every time I said the word you cut me off, so you wouldn't
lose a single corpse."
The pomegranate is growing heavier in my
hand. It must be packed full of seeds, each one a chance to start
the cycle of life again. That's what he doesn't
understand.
"Don't you remember what you said to me back
in the vale?" I ask. "You said we made a cycle complete.
Remember?"
"Of course I remember."
"Well, you can't have shades without
mortals." My voice grows stronger with each word. "If nobody is
born, nobody dies. Who's going to come to the underworld then? No
one, not one single shade for the rest of eternity! What kind of
cycle is that? And you, the eternal ruler of a static realm, what
will you do then—run shades through the Lethe over and over so you
can pretend they're new? No, the only way to keep your precious
power is to save mankind!"
Hades is speechless after my tirade. When I
glance at Hermes I see his mouth is agape.
"So I'm going to Earth," I say. "For the
sake of mortals and the sake of our realm. And when I come back,
there are going to be some changes around here."
Hermes' mouth snaps shut.
"That's the thing," says Hades. "You won't
be coming back."
What? Not come back?
The thought explodes inside me, leaving an
echoing hollow in its wake. For the first time, I stare at Hades'
eyes, his hands, as if I might never see them again.
"Look," says Hermes in a gentler voice.
"I've always been Hades' friend. That's why I didn't tell you
before. So I want to make sure you understand everything now. Zeus
isn't suggesting you come to Earth for a visit. He's commanding you
to live there forever. The underworld is closed to you, as they
say, henceforth."
No! They must be wrong!
"That's impossible," I insist. "Once my
mother sees I'm fine, once I tell her what idiots my husband and I
have been, not letting her know"—I stop to look pointedly at Hades—
"she'll let me return, and Earth will heal."
"She won't let you return," says Hades in a
clipped voice.
"She wants you on Earth," says
Hermes.
"She still sees you as a child. But you're a
woman, a queen."
Their voices are turning into a chorus, the
hard, short lines banging down like nails into a coffin.
"You're giving up your home," says Hermes.
"Your work."
"You'll never see me again," says
Hades.
"And you won't even save mankind. Demeter
has found her weapon."
"She'll scorch the land whenever she wants
her way."
"You're giving up everything for
nothing."
"If you go, you won't come back."
There's a pause.
"Just so we're clear on that," says Hermes.
They're both staring at me, waiting. One for
me to go, the other for me to stay.
In the silence, the pomegranate warms my
hand. It tells me I know what I have to do. But that doesn't make
it easy.
I look into Hades' eyes. "I'll take my
chances," I say. "I'm going."
I hold out the ripe, round fruit. "I grew
this with my friend, a shade. I promised to rescue her daughter. To
save her, and Earth, I have to go. Even if Zeus didn't command it,
I'd go."
Hades stares at the pomegranate as if seeing
it for the first time, his eyes opening wide.
"Maybe you're right and this will cost me
everything," I say. "Maybe I won't be able to come back here. But
then at least you'll know what it's like for mortals, losing what
they love."
Losing it forever.
My voice rises and I brandish the red orb in
front of his face. "Maybe then you'll think about balance for a
change! Yes, I'm going. Don't you see? That's why you'll still have
a realm to rule."
Hades listens, thinking.
I don't know whether to shout or
cry.
"You've been a glutton for power!" I say.
"You kept the
truth from me! You've been thoughtless and selfish
and—"
My hand, with its burden, comes to rest on his chest.
"And I love you. I still love you."
I love him so deep down it shakes me, and
being angry doesn't change that one bit.
Suddenly, Hades tenses. His eyes dart to the window where
Hermes leans, adjusting the wings on his sandals.
"All right. So you're going," says
Hades.
Hermes and I both stare in disbelief. Hades
is giving in.
"Hermes," he says. "Before this day we were
friends. In the name of that friendship, give me a last few moments
alone with my wife."
Hermes realizes he's won, and his face
relaxes.
"Zeus said not to let Persephone out of my
sight." He shifts from foot to foot. "This isn't easy for me,
either, you know. Still . . ." He runs his fingers through his
hair, thinking. "I guess it's enough if we're in the same
room."
He turns his back to us and stares
resolutely out the window. "This is the best I can do for your
private farewell," he says, and starts humming loudly to create a
few moments of privacy.
Hades looks back at me, eager. For a last
kiss? He leans in so close our mouths almost touch. Then he says
softly, his breath warm in my ear, "Let's share it, then. Your
pomegranate."
"Now?"
"Now. As a token of the love that will bind
us, even when you're on Earth."
So hushed, so intimate. My anger fades. The
only thing I feel is what I risk losing.
I start tugging at the little red crown and
one of the spikes breaks off in my hand, a miniature cat's ear. An
acrid smell rises, green fresh and red sweet at the same time. The
next spike comes off and a fragment of rind. Soon the whole crown
is gone, but all I've done is reveal a jagged patch of yellowish
pith. I still can't open the fruit.
Maybe it wasn't ready after all. Maybe it
fell off too soon.
I pull off another chunk and another, and
now all my easy fingerholds are gone. Still the fruit sits there,
encased, secretive. Only one tantalizing, shiny spot peers up at me
from the pith, a little dark eye.
Hades' breath has been coming faster and
faster. Exasperated, he rips the pomegranate from my hand, pulls a
knife from his waistband, and slashes into the thick
hide.
Red juice splatters my chiton, next to the
mud stains and the smears from Melita's bleeding arm. A sharp scent
slices the air. A handful of seeds splashes onto the marble floor
like drops of blood, an offering.
And they're crowded in—a family of seeds, a
womb crammed so tight, the bodies push curved indentations into the
hard pulp like a river carves canyons into rock. Each seed barely
restrains its load of red juice under a translucent membrane.
Through the juice, in the center of each, shines a white core. New
life.
Now that the hide is broken, Hades peels a
chunk of seeds away; they cling to each other and to their raft of
rind. Each seed is faceted like a crystal, and facet fits into
facet with the perfect order of a honeycomb.
I tumble a bunch of seeds into my palm. Like
beads. Like drops of fire.
Hades takes my wrist, stopping me, the
shining drops cradled in my palm.
"If you love me," he whispers, "if you truly
want to return to my side, and only then, eat."
I toss them in my mouth.
Sweet and tart, the burst of juice, the
crunch of tiny seeds between my teeth. A lingering sharpness on the
back of my tongue. Another. And another.
And now I lift my hand to his mouth to
complete the ritual.
"Only if you truly love me," I whisper, and
he opens his mouth and I feed him.
Now, when I'm on the verge of leaving, now I
know. Yes, he wanted my power, whatever he thought it might be. But
that wasn't all. He loves me. And now that may have to be enough
for eternity.
Hermes clears his throat, turns, and walks toward us.
I can tell Hades is ready to let me go. It's
the oddest thing: he looks strong and determined, not defeated at
all. That must be what comes with practice ruling a great land. I
guess I can carry that much away with me, too.
So I throw my shoulders back, lift my head,
and say with as much strength as I can muster, "I'm
ready."
"Not quite," says Hades.
He wraps me in his arms and we kiss, a huge
kiss, a hungry kiss, a soft kiss, a kiss to last forever.
Until it ends, and I walk, past spatters of
blood-red juice, toward the door.
PART THREE
Above
Again
Soil, blood, seed—
Let me draw strength from you.
Let it be enough.