Roots
Out past the stables, where the
land is rough and rocky, my fingers run along sturdy leaves.
They're as pointy and determined as miniature swords. I stop to
scratch my nose, and an astringent scent clears my head, so
everything looks crisper.
Rosemary.
It's a small bush, a baby, with four woody
shoots reaching straight up. I'll carry it back to the oak, the
first transplant for my new garden.
I pull a spade from my girdle. The
ridiculous tool is gold, with chunky jewels protruding all over.
It's hard to get anything practical at the palace unless you're
very, very specific. Everyone assumes a queen wants only luxurious
fabrics, the most exotic perfumes, the rarest unguents. Do they
really expect me to walk around in the diamond-encrusted sandals
they keep giving me, with huge earrings pulling down my earlobes
and golden chains clanking all over my neck? So when I asked for a
spade, I should have known better. Tonight I'll tell them to make
me one from solid iron, unembellished. But for now this will have
to do.
The gold bends the second it encounters a
stone, and when I grip harder, the faceted gems dig into my palm.
But the soil is fairly loose, and between the feeble blade and some
good old-fashioned scrabbling with my hands, I dig down around the
roots. They're young and resilient, like the rest of the plant.
Finally they're free, and I cradle the plant in one arm while I
stick the so-called spade back in my girdle. Maybe they can melt
the gold down and use it for something else.
As I walk back toward the palace, warmth
seems to flow out from the little bush, surrounding me in a kind of
expanding lightness. It floats me along so I barely feel like I'm
touching the ground.
Now I see dust rising near the stables, and
even from here I can make out a rider astride a rearing horse. The
man's body has such strength and confidence, I know it must be
Hades. Of course! It's the new stallion he was telling me about. He
wouldn't trust a groom to break it in; he wants that horse to know
his hands, his scent, his voice.
I angle off toward the stables, eager to
watch him at his work. I lean against the fence rail.
The stallion is panicky, snorting and
tossing its huge head, but Hades' hands are easy on the reins and
his face is alive with concentration, reading every message the
horse sends with its snorts and whinnies, the angle of its ears,
the muscles tensing in its flanks.
Suddenly, the horse leaps off the ground and
takes to the air. I shake my head—it shouldn't be possible! This is
a smooth-backed riding horse, not a winged horse for the chariot.
When I get my breath back, I look at Hades' face. He's laughing in
sheer pleasure.
Then he catches sight of me and says
something into the horse's ear. The great beast circles and lands,
as tame as a house cat after its amazing feat. Hades jumps off,
murmurs something low and soothing, then waves to a groom, who runs
up and takes the reins.
Hades strolls over and leans on the other
side of the fence from me, all sweaty and exhilarated.
"Isn't he a beauty?" he says. "And now
you're here. I seem to be surrounded by beauty today."
He runs a finger across my cheek, making me
shiver with his energy. He's leaning in closer when he notices the
gangly little plant trapped between us. He pauses, lifting one
eyebrow in an inquiring way.
"What are you up to? Taking up cooking?"
I'm still too befuddled by the feel of his
hand to answer. So he goes on. "Ah. I see you've got the roots,
too. Why?"
"So I can plant it," I say, finding my
voice. "I'm making a garden."
Now the second eyebrow goes up to join the
first one.
"A garden? Where, near the
palace?"
"I need it there, Hades. We need it. The
building is full of pillars and frescoes, but no one ever bothered
about what's right outside the walls. Look at this!"
He follows my gaze.
"Just scraggly, dry grass and rambly weeds,"
I say. "Why? It isn't that plants won't grow here. This rosemary's
healthy enough, and the riverbanks are crowded with bushes." I
smile, teasing him now. "No, it's plain laziness on your
part."
He gets the strangest look, almost like a
child staring at a plate of cakes, eager to reach out and grab
one.
"Where will you put it?" he asks.
"Near that oak tree halfway down the hill,
where it flattens out. There's an easy path from the palace
forecourt, and I can use the little stream that runs nearby for a
fountain. There are lots of young trees near the Lethe; I'll dig up
a small one. Maybe I can even find berry bushes or some mossy rocks
for the stream."
He's hardly listening. He reaches up to run his fingers
along one of the rosemary's spiky little swords.
"A green garden near the palace. Perfect,"
he says. His voice is almost dreamy.
Then he catches himself, shakes his head,
and some kind of shutters come down over his eyes. When they come
up again, he's all practical.
"I'll call workers to prepare the soil for
you. They can get started on that fountain."
"I want to do it myself, Hades."
He gives me that strange smile again. "So it
will be all yours!"
"So I can listen to what it wants to
be."
As soon as I get myself a decent
spade.
As I walk up the hill, I can't stop thinking about that eager
look on Hades' face. I suppose he just wants me to be happy here.
After all, he wouldn't do any gardening himself. He practically ran
back to his new horse, those broad hands itching for reins, not a
trowel. And he didn't offer to come but to send workmen. Workmen? I
want to prepare the soil with my own hands. And it would feel funny
to do this with strangers.
Now, if my friends were here, that would be
different. Kallirhoe would show me where to place rocks for the
stream, and Admete—Admete never did a purposeful day's work in her
life, but she'd brighten everything with her laughter. Ianthe could
tell me what each flower likes best, and Galaxaura would waft, calm
and clear, among the bushes, cooling us down as we
worked.
Between us, we'd have water running and
paths curving in no time. And a riot of leaves would spring up,
dark green and yellow-green and gray-green. We'd search for golden
crocuses and orange-red poppies and bring them back to brighten the
foliage, like stars across the sky.
I reach the oak and walk under its leafy
branches, leaning against the trunk in heavy shade. A breeze
rustles the leaves, sighing low and sad. Then the sigh is
mine.
Kallirhoe, Ianthe, Galaxaura—I gave you up
to come here. And Admete, already gone. I miss you all. I miss your
voices, the way you know me through and through.
What did you think when I didn't come
back?
The wind shifts the leaves, deepening the
darkness around me. Outside the circle of branches, the sun blinds
the world into nothing but glare.
They don't know where I am. I never told
them.
How did they learn I'd left the vale? Maybe
it was my mother. I can almost see her striding down to the lake,
her lips taut with anger, storm clouds billowing over the cliffs. I
see her interrogating my friends, and when they try to say they
don't know where I am, her face winches tighter—
Enough! The oak's deep shade must be making
me moody.
I blink my way out from under the branches
so the light can burnish my doubts away. I pull out the feeble
spade and start digging a hole, pushing the dark down deeper, where
I don't have to look at it.
What am I worrying about? Everyone must know
where I am by now. I'm sure someone saw me flying overhead in the
chariot, and the gods gossip together all the time. Besides, my
mother, care that I'm gone? Enough to be that angry? I don't think
so. Oh, she felt obligated to instruct me and improve me, but I
don't think she liked me very much.
I swallow, trying to get rid of a bitter
taste in my mouth. Then I plop the rosemary in its new home and
scoop the soil back around its roots.