The Lethe
Iwalk out of the forecourt, and
soon I'm on my own again. Rough brown grass tickles my feet. I
pluck a few blades and roll them between my fingers. A lizard
lounging on a flat rock gives me an appraising stare. I stare
back.
The path to the river is hot in the morning
sun, but before long, running water and birdsong reach my ears, and
then the grass turns silky, softening my steps.
The riverbanks are full of people, some
lounging about, some singing, others playing games of dice. One
woman rests on her back with her eyes closed, humming under her
breath. So much for my vision of mournful shades wailing in
despair!
I stand still for a few minutes, watching,
relieved that no one is paying me any attention. But the longer I
stand there, the stranger it seems. Everyone is smiling; everyone
looks not only happy but ecstatic. It's unreal, like I'm gazing at
a scene painted on a vase and the figures are starting to move
across the clay.
The sound of splashing makes my feet itch
for cool, lapping water. I stroll around a bend, looking for a
private spot where I can wade in alone. In a few minutes I come to
a curve in the bank where a pale-leafed tree stands guard, and I
pause, listening.
I still hear singing, but it's no longer
drifting over from the shades. No, the song seems to rise from the
river itself. It ripples through me until I'm swaying to its
rhythm. My feet start dancing a graceful grapevine toward the
water, and as I dance, the morning's worries lift off my shoulders.
Hades' disappearance, getting lost in the castle, my total
ignorance about how to play queen—the river's music is carrying it
all away. I'm humming, then singing along to a gentle, alluring
song whose words I somehow know.
I lift my chiton above my knees, ready to
wade in, when a faint shout interrupts the music. I shake my head
like a horse trying to get rid of an annoying fly, but the harsh
noise comes again and again. I look up, irritated. There's a rider
galloping from the palace, waving a hand frantically
overhead.
My toes wiggle deeper into the grass. I
raise my chiton
another inch as the black horse devours the ground with its
hooves and the rider's cloak streams out behind him.
It's Hades.
Hades! A burst of pleasure fills me—look how
fast he's rushing to reach me! His tenderness last night suffuses
my body again, and I melt. I'll wait for him. We'll go for a swim
together, and then he'll explain why he wasn't by my side when I
woke.
He gallops up, leaps from the horse's
sweating back, and pulls me roughly aside.
"Not that river!" he says, his voice raspy.
"Anywhere but there." He's holding my arm too hard. It hurts. "By
Cerberus, it's good I came when I did."
That's not what I expected to hear. Where's
the apology? The kiss? So I answer sharply, "It's good you came
when you did? It's good you abandoned me to wake up all alone? I
didn't even know there'd be sun! I thought there'd be moaning
wraiths everywhere!"
"I've been away so much, I had business to
attend to." He lets go of my arm so he can put both hands on my
shoulders. "How was I to know you rise before the birds? I came
back to wake you and you were gone. And the way jewels and clothing
were scattered around, it looked like thieves had snatched you
away."
His anxious voice, his creased brow . . .
"You were worried!" I exclaim. "You!"
Because of me.
I kiss him, not caring who sees. But the
shades keep humming and playing on the banks, oblivious.
Finally Hades says, "Come." He leads me to
the tree and we sit under its leafy branches. He wraps an arm
around my shoulders. I lean into his side, and when he speaks, I
feel his voice vibrating in his chest.
"When I came back to our room this morning,
I was looking forward to waking you myself. And then, actually, I
planned to bring you here. To show you your new home's beauties.
And its dangers."
He looks pointedly at the river. It flows
just as gently and innocuously as before.
I snort. "Dangers! It's not exactly a raging
torrent. And it's already full of people. If the river's so
dangerous, why aren't you trying to save them?"
"Because they're the reason it's here," he
says, shifting back against the trunk and holding me tighter. "You
see, some shades like thinking about their life on Earth, but for
many, memory is an enemy. They grouse about what they left
behind—wrongs done them, and tasks left unfinished. They wail about
children in danger. They pick fights. In short, they're miserable.
And that makes trouble. For them, there's the Lethe. The River of
Forgetting."
Across the distance, laughter rises and
floats away like steam.
Hades looks at me. "Don't you hear the river calling?"
"But it's so joyous, so peaceful! It
couldn't do any harm."
He shakes his head. "Those who accept the
river's embrace lose their pain, but they also lose their past,
their memories, their very names. They're happy precisely because
they forget who they were."
"Can't they go in just a little bit, maybe
dip in a toe, and ease their pain without losing
themselves?"
"In theory," he says. "But the Lethe is a
powerful drug. Once touched, it's too delicious to resist in
full."
I try to listen more closely. Now the
water's enticing song seems to be made of a thousand twining notes.
It's as if each drop of water were a voice surrendered to the
river.
"But they're shades, Hades. It might not do
the same to me."
"Why risk losing everything for the sake of
an experiment?" he says. "What if those beautiful eyes of yours
were blank? Your body nothing but an empty shell? That's not what I
want sharing my bed." I cuddle closer as he reaches his other arm
around and runs a warm hand slowly along my arm.
Then, in a more practical voice, he adds,
"Or ruling beside me. What if the Lethe swallowed your
power?"
"Me? Power?" I have to laugh. "I don't know
why you keep saying that."
"I want you for you. All of you." He stands
and gives me his hand. "Now let me show you around."
He lifts me onto the horse and leaps up
behind me. With an arm firmly circling my waist, he nuzzles my neck
and nudges the horse on with his heels.
We ride past a gleaming temple, open to the skies and guarded
by ghostly white poplars. A golden throne with lion legs gleams on
a white marble dais. Hades' voice murmurs in my ear. "For outdoor
festivals."
We ride and ride and ride along a wall
that's taller than two horses. "Our borders have never been
broached," he says with pride. "These walls circle our realm,
except where rivers do the job. You've seen the Lethe. Now I'll
show you the Phlegethon, if you're not bored yet."
Bored? My eyes are more open than they've
ever been, drinking up a brand-new world. The warm, dusty air
smells like perfume to me. The horse's hooves make music as Hades
holds me close.
At one point he gestures to a gate where the
sun enters each morning, crossing our lands when it's night on
Earth. So that's why the sun is here. There are other gates,
too, all firmly closed, and yet the walls feel as comfortable as
Hades' arm, like a golden ring on a willing finger.
I smell sulfur and a smoky scent like
burning torches. We round a bend and look down a cliff and I cry,
"The river's on fire!"
"It isn't on fire," says Hades. "It
is fire. Pure flame flows through the Phlegethon's banks,
charring them black. That bronze door on the other side is the
entrance to Tartarus."
Tartarus, prison for Titans and miscreant
gods. In spite of the heat, I shiver, and Hades turns the horse
around. "Don't worry," he says. "They can't escape, any more than
mortal shades can cross back over the River Styx."
"Show me," I say. Anything to stay like
this, wrapped in Hades' arm.
The horse's rhythmic step lulls me, and I
lose track of time. Finally we stop, and Hades points to a curving
road that disappears into thick trees.
"The Styx is over there. That river won't
burn you, or suck out your identity, but don't try to go wading
across. It has its own dangers. The banks are ferociously
guarded."
"Guarded against what?"
"Escape. Charon the ferryman brings shades
across that border from Zeus's realm, but no one crosses in the
other direction. No one. Cerberus makes sure of that."
"Let's go see it."
"We'll have to do it another day." He
glances up at the sun. "We took longer than I expected. Now it's
time to prepare for your grand entrance."
"My what?"
"Today you enter the throne room as my queen."
I don't say anything the whole ride back to
the palace, and I barely see the land around me. I think there are
more streams, and we go through a gate, but I'm not sure. I'm too
busy worrying.