I sat a long time at Mrs. Desmond’s table upstairs. The few things I packed before I ran out of the basement were in her bedroom. I had no plans to sleep there … or upstairs for that matter. I was waiting for Damian. As the sun went down I didn’t fight it by flipping switches and let darkness fill the space around me.
The plate of cookies she’d covered in plastic wrap the night before sat in the exact center of the table where she left it. There was enough light from outside to sparkle on the folds as I swayed back and forth in my chair. My stomach kept cramping up since the fight. I wasn’t sure how long it had been. I realized that even with the heat now off downstairs the smell would eventually give away what I had left behind. And I couldn’t leave Denis down there with them like that. The others I didn’t care about but Denis deserved far better.
I decided it was time to swallow my pride and call for help. Ray had been in touch with Denis every day so he was the only one I could find to reach out to now with Denis gone. Movement in the living room caught my eye making my heart race but it was just the shadows of the trees in the street light that came in her big front window. The rain had stopped but the strong wind was still breaking off small branches and scattering them on the ground. Low clouds seemed to boil down from above, lit by the city lights below.
It was too dark to see the keypad on the phone so I held it near the window and dialled Ray. It seemed to ring forever before he answered.
“Hey Denis … what’s up?” he asked.
“Ray,” I sighed. My stomach was cramping up again. “It’s me.”
There was silence for a few seconds. I was almost glad for it. I took a few deep breaths as I waited for the cramping to pass.
“Anna … .what do you want?”
I took a couple more breaths as the discomfort went away.
“I want Paul,” I told him. I put my hand on his ring through my shirt; still dangling on the gold necklace he had given me for my birthday.
“You have a poor way of showing it. I can’t believe what you said to him … what you did.”
“You know why it has to be like this Ray. At least the baby will have him … if he interferes she won’t have either of us.”
I heard him sigh. “I don’t know Anna.”
“He has to want to be where he is now … he loves me so much. I know I was in bad shape for a while … Andre told me what to do. So he’d be out of danger. I’m ashamed of myself for what I did … how I let Andre treat me … but I couldn’t see another way.” I could feel my voice choking up so I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the sobs that were starting.
“Anna? Are you still there?”
“Yes.” I took a deep breath. I was getting confused. Starting to forget why I was calling him. “Something’s happened Ray. I need Iverson … help.” I knew what I said wasn’t making much sense.
“Let me talk to Denis.”
I looked at the plate on the table. Cookies made by a dead old lady for the dead man in the basement.
“I think I pulled some muscles in my stomach in the fight Ray … I keep cramping up.”
“Anna … did you hurt Denis?”
“No. He’s downstairs. I’m so tired Ray, you know I wouldn’t hurt anyone. Heartburn is so bad I have to try and sleep sitting up but then the back’s worse. Where’s Paul? I love him so much.”
“Anna!” He shouted at me. “Get Denis!”
“I can’t!” I shouted back … then quieter. “I’m cramping up again.” I took a few deep breaths. “You haven’t seen me in a while … I think it’s almost over.” I took a few more. “I’m as big as house … lost a lot of time. It’s been out of control.”
“How often?” I knew I could count on Ray’s medical training to kick in. He’d worry about how crazy I was later.
“I don’t know … I’ve just been sitting here in the dark. I don’t know what to do. Can you get Iverson?”
“Anna … why?”
“There are five dead men in the basement Ray … I don’t know what to do. I got my bloody clothes off but my leg won’t stop oozing … I think I got the cut on my arm under control.” I was just wore a t-shirt and underwear. My thigh was wrapped up tightly with a torn up sheet but it wasn’t keeping the blood in.
“Jesus Anna. Get Denis on the phone.”
I reached my hand out and held it over the plate. I imagined I could feel their warmth rising up to my palm. The hand next to my ear spoke.
“Anna?” I jumped; I forgot I was holding the phone.
“Ray?”
“Yes Ray,” he said. “Put Denis on.”
“He came down and got me this morning. Mrs. Desmond died during the night. Nothing we could do … so cool already. They sent an ambulance to pick her up … I was on the phone all morning … he helped me keep the arrangements straight.”
“I’m so sorry,” Ray said. “Have Denis bring you home, okay? We’ll figure it out.”
“He can’t,” I said. “I was in the spare room when I felt them in the kitchen … coming to the hall. He must have seen them follow me in. There was a lot of noise … he was shouting. I grabbed Damian’s knife from my room but I’m so slow. Denis had finished one by the time I got there but he was bleeding. I got one quick but he was bleeding worse as he got another and we finished off the last one together but he fell on the floor.
“He didn’t make it Ray,” I sobbed, not doing a very good job of keeping it quiet.
“Oh damn it,” Ray said.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Please come back,” he begged.
“No Ray …”
“I have to make a few calls … stay by the phone, okay? And watch the clock when you cramp up. You shouldn’t be alone now if you’re in labour.”
“I tried Ray … I couldn’t even drag Denis to the door. I don’t know how I’m going to get him out of there. Mmm,” I sighed as I started cramping up again.
“Anna, is it happening again?”
I kept breathing. “What?” I said between sighs. I needed some sleep … I was losing track of things.
“Your stomach cramping. Is it happening again?” he asked.
I started to panic. “How do you know about that Ray? Who’s watching me?”
“You told me,” he said.
I didn’t remember doing that. “I didn’t …” I said and hung up on him.
After I made it back to Mrs. Desmond’s sofa the phone started ringing. I listened to it as I fell asleep, nibbling at my ears again once or twice.
Didn’t they know what time it was? The damn phone was ringing again. And ringing. Wasn’t the courtesy if you didn’t answer after four rings then you were sleeping or busy or something? It just wouldn’t stop. I pushed myself up off the sofa and felt my way to the kitchen. The phone would probably go silent soon as got to it so I held my hand over it for a few more rings. It didn’t stop.
“Yeah?” I said sleepily when I picked it up.
“Where have you been?” the voice said.
“Do you have any idea what time it is? People are sleeping.”
“Wait—,”
“Why don’t you dial more carefully … wrong number ringing all damn night.”
I hung up. All I wanted to do was get back to sleep so I sat at the table and put my head down on my crossed arms but the phone started ringing again.
“Yeah?” I said again.
“Anna don’t hang up,” Ray said quickly.
“Ray? Where are you?” I went to the window and looked out to the street. Everything looked okay but more men could be watching the house. I thought I could feel someone outside … watching me.
“Are you okay?” Ray asked.
“I think someone is watching the house,” I whispered to him. I was too tired to focus enough to be sure but my skin crawled when I tried. “I don’t see anyone … but there could be more.”
“What about your leg?” he asked. “And your stomach … are you still cramping up?”
“Not since I woke up,” I whispered. “I can’t see my leg but the bandage I made is damp. I have to keep the lights off.”
I looked down anyway. Lights wouldn’t have made any difference. It was so high my stomach hid it.
“The Colonel wants you to get out of there. Take the car. Leave then call the police. He can’t do anything across the border other than make sure Denis goes home to his family. Jump here … we’ll keep you safe.”
“I can’t go yet … I’m not finished here.” My stomach was starting to hurt. Not like the cramps earlier. It was hard and tightening as the pain grew. I started to try and breathe through it like Catherine remembered. She’d seen babies come. It seemed to help but Ray was talking again distracting me.
“Anna? Your stomach?” he asked.
“Ray …” I couldn’t get a sentence out. At least I could talk through them before. After a dozen or so breaths the pain peaked and started to go away.
“I think that was the real thing,” I breathed as it passed. “I’m running out of time.”
“Call an ambulance. Please?” He begged. “If you won’t come here go to the hospital.”
“I’ll come home when it’s over … one way or another. I have work to do.”
I could hear him sigh. “Will you at least look at your leg for me? Go in Bee’s room and pull the heavy curtains and close the door. The light won’t get out. Take the phone with you.”
“Okay,” I gave in and took the cordless with me and did what he said. Then I took Damian’s knife and tore up her top sheet for more bandages. I could see in the mirror that the old bandage was red and tacky blood stuck to my leg.
“Should I take the old bandage off?” I asked him. “It might have stopped but I don’t want to make it start again.”
“Do it gently … I don’t like to but I need to know how bad it is.”
“‘kay,” I said and put the phone down. I was able to pick apart the knot that held it tight and slowly unwrapped it. I could see in the mirror over Bee’s dresser that it oozed a bit as my leg moved when the last of the bandage came off but was better than it was before.
“It’s about four inches long,” I told him. “Most of it is closed but it’s torn and open at the bottom. It’s not really bleeding now … well a bit if I move. I can’t tell how deep it is.”
“Can you wrap it back up tight? You need to get to a doctor.”
“Yeah … I can tie it back up. It’s not as bad as you think … it doesn’t hurt at all. Have you heard from Paul? You can’t tell him I’m here.”
He hesitated. “Yes … I know he’ll come to you.”
“So then what?” I yelled at him. “Once she’s born am I fair game to have Damian’s child? Another soldier for his army? What’s Paul going to do to stop that? I like it here Ray … neither one of them will have me if that’s how things are going to go. Paul said it … she’s the only thing protecting me right now … one way or another Damian can’t have me.
“The baby will be here soon then there’s nothing protecting me. From Paul or Damian. He won’t listen, I went too far.”
“You know it’s not like that Anna. Please … ask me to call him for you.”
“Don’t tell him … you’ll kill us both!” I flared at him. “I lost Bee and Denis today and I’m going to have to get through the fight of my life by tonight … .you have to be silent. If you tell him anything then tell him I’m on the run. He can’t come to me.”
“I didn’t,” Ray said. “Come home or go to the hospital.”
“Shit,” I managed as my stomach tightened up painfully again. I held the phone away from my mouth so he couldn’t hear the moans that were sneaking out as I tried to breath through it.
“Anna?” he was saying when I put the phone back to my ear.
“I’m here,” I felt just fine when my stomach wasn’t in knots.
“That was just over ten minutes … you need to get to the hospital.” He hesitated then he quickly added. “Our babies can come quick.”
He couldn’t see me shaking my head. “Then get ready to catch … I’ll come home when my job is done. If you talk to Paul tell him that. I’ll give him his daughter and take whatever is coming to me.”
“Please … don’t do this. I’m not ready to lose you yet,” his voice broke.
“I love you big brother. Thank you for everything. There’s a letter with my lawyer for you that tells you where she is and what your task is when mine is finished. I left everything to Paul … if he doesn’t make it then in trust to Ron and Camille and Joshua to raise her. I want you to help her grow up properly.” I laughed a bit but I was choking up too. “I seem to have the quick and dirty job but yours won’t matter if I fail. I’ll see you soon Ray.”
I hung up and turned the ringer off. Tears ran down my face for a few minutes then I got up and turned off the bedroom light and opened the door. I carefully checked outside all the windows again but nothing seemed out of place in the street or the yard even though I could still feel eyes on me. On my way to the bathroom my hand ran absently over my stomach. She pushed her foot into my palm … she was so tight for space she couldn’t move without pushing on something.
“Sshhh,” I whispered to her. “We’ll go home soon … no matter what, you won’t be alone.” My hand dropped across my belly button and my fingertips traced over the bump it made in my shirt. My white t-shirt. I stopped, still tracing over and around it. The shirt in my dream. The shirt the woman in the mirror wore when I saw her in the hotel in Reno. I turned and started to Bee’s room as another contraction began to take hold. My legs slowed and stopped as the pain grew and I held on to the back of a kitchen chair as I waited for it to pass.
When I got moving again I could see the face of the phone flashing as I walked past it. There was nothing Ray could do for me now other than get ready for my arrival. I could feel my temper focusing on him. Why the hell was he calling and not getting ready?
In Bee’s room I could finally hear the rumble of the plane. At first it just sounded like part of the heavy wind outside but as it drowned the wind out I slammed the door and crouched down in the corner behind it. My bag was there so I grabbed it and held on. The only thing I would really need from it now was the knife. Still bloody from the fight.
The rumbling grew and the house shook. The roar of the screaming engines became deafening as it passed just overhead and the vibrating air in my ears tried to burst them. The only thing that told me I was screaming was the pain in my throat. The engine noise stopped as the house began to shake. Suddenly the bedroom door flew open and smashed into the wall next to me. Compared to the roar of the plane the sound of the explosion was devastating. Orange flames had smashed through the living room window and followed the door in. They spread over the mess I had left Bee’s bed in after I raided it for bandages, they curled around the corner after me singeing the hair on my arms and the side of my face. Their heat seared whatever they couldn’t reach. I held my breath until they disappeared and left behind only the quiet soft glow coming in from outside.
I sat for a minute deciding if my hearing was gone or if it was actually quiet. While I thought about it I got my shoes on. Broken glass from the living room had blown in all over everything. At least my back wasn’t burnt like in my dream. If I’d been standing in the door when the flames flooded in I would have been washed in them like everything else.
When I stood up I tried to close the bedroom door to keep the heat out. It swung away from the wall a bit but its bottom corner hit the floor before it was a third of the way around. I shoved on it but it was stuck. The wall leaned into the room … the door wasn’t going anywhere so I put the pack on my back and stepped into the living room. My arm stung from the flames that had found me but not as bad as the burns would have.
The front door wouldn’t open either; cock eyed as it was, orange light coming in around the edges. I gave up on it and went back into Bee’s room to try my only other way out of the burning house. It was the only window low enough since it opened out onto her porch. Most of the glass was broken so I took one of the drawers from her night table and knocked as much glass as I could out then I stuffed her singed bed spread over the window frame to try and protect myself from the shards that I couldn’t knock loose. It worked. Mostly.
My bike was still in Paul’s garage, not where I dreamed it the last time and the huge old Lincoln stretched out covering nearly all the asphalt. I put my fingers on the trunk and ran them up over the roof and down along the hood. I looked back and forth up the street. Still nothing was out of place so I walked out to the road. Then I stopped, closed my eyes, and turned left to face Armageddon.
I was on the street in front of my house looking north, facing the flames. Another contraction came so I stood holding my stomach and breathing until it passed. The low clouds caught and shone the orange light from the fire. It covered everything I could see almost as I remembered it. The apple tree was truly beautiful, as was everything else the fire touched.
I laughed out loud in spite of the burning in my mouth and throat as I pulled the hot air in. It wasn’t as bad as I remembered since I hadn’t been gasping in flames this time as they filled Bee’s room. Then I raised my arms and shouted at the sky.
“This is the last time!” I laughed hard. “The last time!”
I giggled, hoping Damian would find me here. It was perfect.
Just perfect.
The entire north sky was bright and hot as the sun. I closed my eyes and the light shone through my lids. It filled me. Recharged me. I was excited to be reaching the end of my work. Andre was ready for his minute alone with his Lieutenant. Then he would be gone. One way or another it would be all over. I would circle that sun; slowly making my way to its center.
I sighed, waiting for my queue to start; the crack of the starter’s pistol as half the flaming apple tree crashed to the ground next to me. The baby squirmed and kicked hard and her movements made me sway.
“Yes,” I told her. “Soon baby. We’ll see him soon.” I could feel her need for her father. Her connection to him. Just as I had during my dream so long ago that sent me away for a week. I sighed and rubbed her through the skin of my stomach as I waited.
Ray asked me once if what I found with Pilot was worth the cost we paid to look for it. Up until now I’d been uncertain. Now I was sure. Peace was well worth the price I had to pay in this short lifetime of mine. Spending her long life mated to the son of the man who had spread so much pain would be terrible for her as long as a connection existed between him and Damian. With Damian gone from him there would be no father for him to be loyal to.
I breathed through another contraction, concentrating on the familiar pops and crackles of the fire around me. The tree would come down in moments so I held up my left hand like a gun pointed at it, two fingers extended and counted down through the last few seconds until it fell. I pulled my hand up a bit as the branch snapped imagining my pretend gun going off. Sparks flew up as the branch broke up when it landed so I laughed and walked down the alley to start my work.