I tried to talk Paul into going up to Bee’s while I finished off our business with Kenny but he wouldn’t. He told Ray and Denis that he was coming and he promised not to squash him but I had the feeling that if Kenny provoked him he might change his mind. All I could do if that happened was hit Kenny first. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. It wasn’t that Kenny was all that bad. He just never seemed to get over the crush he had on me when we were kids. Never felt that anyone else was good enough for me.
His friends however were a problem. Kenny should come alone but then he should have met me at the mall alone too. After I thought about it I realized that I should have gone alone to the mall too. Not much I could do about not being alone here in my own house. Since Paul knew he was coming there was no way I could get him out now.
So with that I was nervous. Nothing like sitting on a mountain of testosterone waiting for just the right spark to set it off. Paul and I sat at the kitchen table with a map deciding where we would go when we left in a few days when Kenny knocked. Paul quickly put the map away and I answered the door. The less Kenny knew about us the better.
It was raining hard and Kenny had his hands shoved deep in his pockets, pushing up his collar to keep the rain from running down the back of his neck.
“Hey Anna,” he said. “My brother wanted me to pick up his bike from you next time you were in town. Now a good time?”
“Sure Kenny,” I said. “Come in out of the rain while I get the key. Battery will need a charge but everything else should be fine.”
Kenny stepped in and closed the door before he noticed Paul. I went down to the spare room to get the key for it from its hook and hoped for the best. Before I got to the room I heard the front door open and close, then a bit of shuffling and quiet voices. Shit, who else joined the party? I couldn’t decide which would be worse. Kenny’s friends or mine.
When I came back Ray was at the table with Paul. As I rounded the corner Kenny was quickly doing his pants back up. His coat was undone and his shirt was untucked. Denis calmly leaned against the wall like they were waiting for a bus together or something.
I tried not to notice. “Got the key Kenny … you want coffee?”
“Yes,” Denis said. “He would love some. Right Kenny?”
“Um, yeah Anna. Coffee sounds good.”
I tossed Kenny the key and tried to ignore the ridiculous male posturing that had filled the room. Kenny hadn’t taken his eyes off Paul except to catch the key and Ray and Paul hadn’t taken their eyes off Kenny. I was easily two inches taller than Kenny so next to Denis he looked tiny. I made myself busy getting out cups and hoped this would be over soon. If they hadn’t come down Kenny would be loading up the bike while I looked over the ID and he would be gone in a matter of minutes. Now I had no idea what Paul had planned.
Denis took a step toward me. I hadn’t noticed it on the counter before since I was focused on the coffee and trying to ignore everything else. He put his hand out and slid an envelope over to me. On top of it was a gun. I sighed. Paul got up and put his arm around my waist, his lips to my ear.
“Sugar,” he said loud enough for Kenny to hear. Then he slowly dropped his hand to my butt. Out of the corner of my eye Denis elbowed Kenny who quickly looked up at the ceiling. Paul put his hand back up.
“Why don’t you tell your friend who we are. Perhaps he would be kind enough to keep an ear open … in case anyone asks about us.”
I had an idea what Paul was up to now. Kenny was apparently connected to the same sorts of people Damian might use to try and find us and they’d already found me once through him.
“Kenny,” I sighed as I pushed the gun off the envelope, “I’m not sure why you would disrespect me by bringing a gun through my front door.”
I filled a cup for Kenny, just sugar I remembered, and took it to him. His hands shook a bit as he took it. Then I got coffee for the others before I took the envelope and opened it. I had a small magnifying glass in a drawer so I took it out. I opened the first passport and started examining it.
“Drink your coffee Kenny,” I said. He looked at Denis who nodded so he drank.
“I see you fixed the problem with the r’s,” I told him. Then I moved on to one of the driver’s licenses. I was impressed. They were good a few years ago but they were even better now.
“We’re not really here Kenny,” I told him. “I’m in a bit of trouble. The man next to you is Denis Martin,” I gestured to the table, “Ray Jackson,” and then tilted to Paul who still stood next to me, “and my husband Paul Richards.”
I had the driver’s licenses and passports out in pairs now double-checking the spelling and information on them. When I was satisfied with the last one I put it down on the counter and walked up to Kenny. Paul stayed where he was.
“You’re still standing. You must have been completely kind and co-operative with my friend Denis.” I looked over at Denis who nodded in agreement.
“As I said, we aren’t really here but that doesn’t mean that someone won’t think we are. If anyone asks about us we would hope that in return for my hospitality and my forgiveness for your bringing a gun in my house you would let one of us know right away. I would also see fit to throwing a big fat envelope your way. And of course you wouldn’t remember us at all if you were asked.
“How does that sound?” I asked him.
“Good,” Kenny said. He sounded relieved.
I took his empty cup. “Did you bring the truck or do you have the trailer?”
“Truck,” Kenny said.
“Denis, would you return Kenny’s gun and help him load up his brother’s bike? It’s in the shed in the back.”
“Sure,” Denis said. “Come on Kenny.”
He gave Kenny back his gun and put the rounds in the envelope the ID had come in. That he put in his own pocket. Denis opened the door and stepped out of the way so Kenny could walk past.
“Mister Richards,” Kenny said, “don’t let her down. She deserves the best.” Then he disappeared out the door with Denis close behind.
“I know that,” Paul said when they were gone.
I clung to him relieved that it was over.
“You make a good good cop; A nice complement to Denis’ muscle.”
“Here Ray,” I passed him his new ID, then gave Paul his.
“I think he still loves you Kiddo,” Ray said.
“Kenny?” I asked. Thanks for bringing that up, I thought. “Yeah, I think you’re right. He’s never figured out that I never felt the same way.”
“Never?” Paul asked. “It’s okay if you did.”
“Never, okay?” I snapped back at him. “Had enough of my troubled past dragged up today thank you,” I grumbled as I stomped down the hall to my room and slammed the door. Between my father showing up and moping all over my husband about how I was an irresponsible teenage drunk and Ray pronouncing Kenny still in love with me I felt like nearly everything I had run from stood naked in the kitchen with them. Paul shouldn’t have even let my father through the door. Now I felt like my past was a heavy anchor around my neck holding me back.
I curled up in the corner of the bed by the wall and pulled the blankets up over my head. Enough had changed in the past few months for me that I didn’t need any of that any more. Wasn’t it obvious that I had gotten on with things? I sighed. Could they try any harder to annoy me?
Paul quietly opened the door a few minutes later and I heard him laugh quietly at the lump under the blankets.
“Anna? Anything I can do?”
I sighed. You can piss off, I thought. I felt like he could see all my faults even through the blanket.
“Are you sure?” he tried again.
“Paul, if I wasn’t so busy getting drunk and starting fights I probably would have been capable of loving someone but I was an angry kid. I don’t know how many times Kenny got me out of trouble but he finally gave up waiting for me to return what he felt and turned on me. Maybe I should have tried to pin the stolen car on him but I didn’t … maybe I felt like I had something to prove. Maybe I did care about him then after all. It doesn’t matter now.”
“Maybe it does matter,” he said cautiously, “if it’s still bothering you.”
“Maybe if you and Ray and my father weren’t trying extra hard to irritate me I wouldn’t have to hide in my own bedroom! I think I was more than patient with you all ganging up on me!” Oh, I was mad.
“Okay Sugar,” Paul sighed and patted my hip.
I stuck my tongue out at him under the blankets. He went down the hall and I heard him talking to Ray.
“Sorry Ray … it appears we’ve all been out of line,” Paul said.
I could hear Ray laughing. My temper was rising again if it had ever cooled off. I quickly sat up and hurled a book out the open door into the hallway. It flew through into the bathroom and banged into the accordion door for the laundry closet. They ignored it.
“How is she sleeping Paul?”
“Not well. The shouting we hear upstairs is nothing compared to being woken up by it. The fire and Alina, telling me to get out from under the tree. The worst is when she’s yelling about someone putting their fists on her sister. I can hear the exhaustion in her when it’s over. She doesn’t wake up … but most nights it goes on for a while.”
That was news to me. I’d been having dreamless sleeps since we jumped here. Woke up tired but I thought that was just part of being pregnant and starting to be uncomfortable. I didn’t know I was keeping Paul up. He should have said something. I sat up in bed and crossed my arms.
“Why don’t you suggest something to help her sleep? I have something safe she can have. It’s for morning sickness but it will help her be drowsy. She has a long way to go to be so tired already.”
Next I threw a glass. It exploded against the wall. Sleeping pill my Royal Canadian ass. If I was going to have a lousy sleep then they could too.
“Jeez,” Paul said.
“Fantastic bad mood,” Ray laughed quietly. “Try not to let the hormone attack get to you. She doesn’t mean it … she’s just along for the ride.”
“Walk west ‘til your hat floats,” I yelled down the hall. I’d feel better if I wasn’t out of dishes.
“Good luck,” Ray told Paul and left. Hopefully in fear. I sat in the middle of the bed waiting for Paul. I saw him in the hall picking up glass but he didn’t look at me. Then he ran the vacuum and I could hear him putting dishes into the dishwasher and turning it on.
Eventually he quietly came into the bedroom and sat down behind me. He didn’t say anything and after a few minutes pulled my hair out of the way. Then he started working the knots out of my neck and shoulders. I sighed. It felt good. Like little electric pops in my brain erasing all the anger from my tantrum. As he worked his way down my back he reached up my shirt and undid my bra then he helped me pull it off through my sleeves.
“Mmm,” I sighed, “I don’t remember any dreams Paul … I’m sorry for keeping you up.”
“Sshhh … think about Ray’s offer. I can look after you but I can’t make you sleep. You need your rest.”
“Mm hm.” It was so hard to talk when his hands were on my back like that. “Tell Ray I said okay … and sorry about the hat thing.”
“Okay Sugar,” he said. “Lay down now and get some sleep. I’ll stay with you.”
We lay still, Paul’s hand on my stomach. She was moving for him as I fell asleep.