Paul had left the truck keys on my night table so I picked them up and put on a jacket. Then I hurried out to the truck before anyone could remind me that I didn’t have a license and roared up off the street then downtown to the store.
I got cleaning supplies and garbage bags and some basics. Coffee, milk, cereal, toilet paper, and Halloween candy for tonight. Paul could head out later with cash for a bigger shop if he wanted. It looked like now we would be spending a considerable amount of time at my house. The third floor had two small bedrooms so I hoped Mrs. Desmond would let Ray and Denis stay up there. Paul and I would have some privacy and she wouldn’t be alone.
When I got back nobody was waiting outside but Paul was watching for me from her window. He waved and I brought in my bags and locked up the truck. First I bagged everything in the fridge and hauled it all up to the cans by the garage. Then I scrubbed it out and had a go at the counters.
My cupboards were mostly empty except for a bunch of non-food things. More tools, papers and parts catalogues. I moved all that stuff into one cupboard and wiped down the insides of the rest. Then I put away the clean dishes and washed out the coffee maker.
By then my one hour warning had passed so I took the candy and the keys up around to Mrs. Desmond’s door and knocked. Paul answered and stepped out in a cloud of cigarette smoke.
“You’re not burning my house down are you?”
“Not yet,” he laughed as he put his arms around me. “Thank you for finding him. Bee says that you never took her rent and always got her groceries for the past four years.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t need the money and she never remembered anyway. I’m grateful to have her to keep an eye on the place. It let me wander around to find you.”
“She doesn’t think she would have made it long enough to find me if you hadn’t taken care of her,” he said quietly. “She has quite the personality … not many would have the patience.”
“I feel bad for being away so much … I worried about her when I was gone so long,” I tightened my hold on him for a moment and let him go then I gave him the bags of candy. “She loves to hand this stuff out … the little kids will start before it gets dark. I usually come up and help her out with it but you’ll have to stand in for me tonight.”
He looked in the bags. “It’s Halloween … I’d forgotten.”
“She can’t tell Alina we’re here,” I told him. “And if my father turns up tell him you’re Mrs. Desmond’s grandson doing a favour for the owner. Maybe cleaning out and updating the basement to rent out? He can’t know either because he’ll tell Alina. His picture is on the TV unit downstairs. Don’t answer the phone or clear the messages on the machine … Alina will know I’ve been home if she can leave another one.”
Paul nodded.
“In ten days Damian will move on the compound and four days after that I will leave,” I said quietly. Paul’s jaw stiffened briefly. “We can’t interfere with the path that brought us here. In two weeks he could start looking for me again so we need to decide if we’re hitting the road for a while or what.
“We can take the cash and stay in hotels for a while if we have to but I don’t think she can manage all that travel.”
“I know,” he said. “I’ve been considering that too.”
“Did you ever send anyone here to look for me?”
He shook his head. “I just waited for you to come back.”
“Okay. I’m pushing it … I have to sleep now and I’ve lost track of the time.” I put the truck and house keys in his hand. “Can you come down in a bit and check that I made it to the bed?”
“Yes,” he paused. “Bee wants to talk to you.”
“You told her everything I told you?”
“She thinks that things are more complicated than that,” his stare was hard, challenging. “Important things … maybe left out?”
“I told you everything I can Paul.”
“But not everything,” he said.
“I have to sleep … nothing else of consequence,” I yawned.
He studied me for a moment. Then he put the bags down on the porch.
“I’ll take you downstairs and settle you in.”
I was glad he did. I didn’t remember making it much past the kitchen.
Paul slept next to me when I woke. The clock said seven. It didn’t matter much what day it was. I headed to the bathroom and started the tub filling then down to the kitchen. Ray was in there reading the paper. Denis was still sleeping on the living room floor.
“Morning sunshine,” I yawned to him. “What day is it?”
“Hi Kiddo. The second. You slept through two nights … hungry?”
“Soon. I want a bath first,” Ray had coffee on so I went to look in the fridge. Just the milk and a couple of six packs that I wouldn’t have put in there.
“Bee’s been feeding us,” Ray explained.
“She would enjoy that … you’re all going to look like me. She can bake up a storm.”
“I feel it already,” Ray said putting his hand on his stomach. “Anywhere decent to go for a run around here?”
“Let me get dressed. You can take me for breakfast and I’ll show you where you can burn off the cookies.”
First I took him up the hill to the dam where there were trails that connected the small lakes and then to the dirt roads under the power lines for something hillier. I’d only ever run dirt bikes up and down the power lines but Ray thought running there would be better exercise than the flat trails provided nobody wiped out on the uneven ground.
We went to one of the restaurants along the old highway for breakfast then to one of the grocery stores in the other end of town. I didn’t want to go to the one in the mall by my house because they knew me. I would let Tony keep delivering to Mrs. Desmond and Paul could tell him the same story I’d asked him to tell my father.
Paul and Denis were just going up to Mrs. Desmond’s when we got back so they helped bring the groceries downstairs before they went to see her. I made myself a salmon sandwich and salad and sat in the living room to eat then I got a blanket and pillow from my bed to try and get a nap on the couch. Even after two days sleeping it would take a bit to get my energy back. It didn’t help that I was starting to need more rest.
I lay with my eyes closed for a while. The door opened quietly and Paul came in.
“Do you want to come upstairs now? Bee still wants to talk to you.”
“Hey Paul,” I said as I rolled back over. “I was worried you might have forgotten about me.”
“Never … maybe you should be sleeping in the bed. This can’t be good for your back.”
I sat up yawning. “How are you doing? Do you need a rest too?”
“Bee kicks us out by nine. Ray and Denis have been going out after we leave but I’ve just been coming down here waiting for you to wake up. Come on,” he said helping me up. “She’s waiting upstairs for us.”
Mrs. Desmond’s main floor was much less smoky than it had been two days ago. Denis smoked out of the wind and on the path between the garage and the house. Mrs. Desmond never smoked much anyway.
“Afternoon Mrs. Desmond,” I said to her as I kissed her cheek. “These boys aren’t too much of a nuisance I hope.”
“None at all,” she told me. “They seem to have turned out okay without me.”
I went over to the cupboard and pulled out her prescriptions. The number of pill bottles had doubled so I started going through them. I pulled out six that hadn’t been there the last time I had seen her.
“Six of these are from six different doctors in the past month,” I told her. “Three are for the same thing. You’re not taking all of them are you?”
“No idea what you’re talking about dear,” she said.
I gestured to Ray to come over and look at them.
“Remember we agreed that unless you’re having trouble breathing or have chest pains you call Alina first?” She just smiled back. “Do I have to go yell at the cab company again?”
Paul was laughing quietly at me now so I threw a towel at him and picked up her phone to call her doctor’s office.
“Hello, can I get someone in to see Dr. Keller this week?” I waited as she checked. “It’s for Beatrice Desmond … she has a dozen bottles of pills here and I have no idea what they’re for.”
“Tell me about my brother,” Mrs. Desmond said.
I covered the phone. “Which one?”
“Your mate,” she said loudly as the receptionist suggested twenty minutes.
“Eeww,” I said to Mrs. Desmond but I had uncovered the phone. I looked over at Paul, he was glaring at her. “No, sorry, two conversations at once. Twenty is fine.”
She said Friday at ten-twenty and would the locum be okay, Dr. Keller was away.
“Yes,” I told her then, “wait; is that the same locum as last time?”
She told me yes.
“Anna?” Mrs. Desmond said sharply.
I covered the phone. “I’m going to kill him.” I glanced at Paul; but he was distracted by the noise Denis was making coming in and hadn’t heard me.
Then to the receptionist. “That’s fine; he’s not an idiot like the locum before him.”
“Anna … don’t talk about the doctors like that,” Ray mumbled next to me, he was still going through the bottles of pills but the receptionist was laughing. She had heard that before.
I quickly covered the phone as the towel hit me in the back of the head. “You never met him.”
Then she wanted my name.
“Rachel Lund. I’m her grand-daughter. You have me down as next of kin.”
Paul rolled his eyes. Another name for Anna and the receptionist wanted to know if Anna should still be listed as well.
“Yes, Anna is my cousin and should also still be on her file … she married recently, it’s Richards now, not Creed.”
She confirmed the time for me and said good-bye.
“Ray, can you tell me what I need to ask about these when I take her in?”
“Sure Anna,” then he whispered. “She shouldn’t be living alone … too much of some of these could be bad news.”
“I know. I’ve been all she has for the past few years. She’s outlived her family. She just forgets to take them at all when I’m not here. Getting new prescriptions without me is something she hasn’t done before.
I sighed. Mrs. Desmond was starting to fuss with getting more baking in front of Denis and Paul had come to see what Ray and I were whispering about.
“At least her medical records show me as next of kin now,” I said while I leaned back against Paul. He put his arms around my middle. It was sad to think about it. “I can make arrangements for her when the time comes. I don’t know what to do now. I can’t leave her alone again.”
“She won’t be alone again,” Paul said quietly. “Don’t worry about it … we’ll make sure that family is always with her now.”
“Thanks,” I said and wiped my eyes.
“Mrs. Desmond,” I said loudly. “Can Ray and Denis stay in the rooms on the top floor? It’s much nicer than my living room.”
“Can you imagine the talk?” she asked me. “Unmarried with two single men in my home? And we are on the top floor dear.”
I pointed upstairs. “You have two bedrooms upstairs with beds in them and you expect family to sleep on the floor? There will be no talk.”
She sighed in defeat so I went upstairs to see what sort of shape the rooms were in. All the lights worked and other than a bit of dust and some boxes of things she must have forgot were up there the rooms were fine. It was just a finished attic so the roof sloped steeply on either side. There was spare bedding in the closet so I pulled it out for Ray and Denis and took it upstairs.
“You just have to make the beds up," I told them when I got back to the table. "I hauled up the bedding. If you’re going out in the evening then you’re still welcome to my floor. She’ll hurt you if you wake her up sneaking in late.”
“Thanks Anna,” Denis said. Mrs. Desmond had put the plate of baking in front of him and was heating up the oven to make something to reload it with.
“Pace yourself,” I whispered to him. “I showed Ray a couple of places you can go for a run. There’s a lake with a trail around it too that I forgot about. I’ll show you on the map later. The secret is to keep showing interest in what’s on the plate but eat slowly. Otherwise you’ll just get round.”
“Now you tell me,” he laughed.
Ray and Denis went upstairs to get their rooms ready and I sat next to Paul while Mrs. Desmond finished putting a couple of pans into the oven. Then she put on the kettle for tea.
“My son says that you can read the family like me,” she said.
I looked at Paul. I wasn’t sure if I should be talking about it but he nodded and tilted his head to her as she sat down.
“I suppose,” I answered. I didn’t really want to talk about it because I had only a rough idea what I could say. "I didn’t realize it was impolite.”
“Well now you do,” she said. “What made you want to try?”
I thought about it. “When Damian’s men came for me I could tell that they were similar to him in some way but I didn’t know how I knew. I guess they smelled the same … maybe tasted? Neither I guess. I don’t know what to call it.”
Ray and Denis had come back downstairs.
“Paul said you claim to be able to see who their mother is as well,” she said.
I felt like every time I opened my mouth I was offending someone. Paul put his hand on my leg under the table and gently squeezed. He didn’t let go. It was a warning, but I already had a good idea what not to say.
“Yes,” I told her. “But if I don’t know who she was … I can’t make a match.”
“I never knew such a thing was possible … whose did you find?”
Paul squeezed a little harder.
“The third of Damian’s men who came for me,” I said quietly to the table again. I didn’t see the harm in talking about one of Damian’s dead men. The only person at the table he was a relation to was me. I took a quick look over at Paul and he turned his head away. He’d suspected that’s what I was doing by the pond and would have been happier if he didn’t have to hear it.
“How do you do it then?” she asked.
“I put what ever you call it about them here.” I pointed to the spot under my upper lip. “Then I take away everything that is similar. It takes a few minutes. When I compared what I remembered of Damian and the dead man all that was left was me.”
I made a face. “It was dirty and angry but it was unmistakably me. There’s a dark poisonous cloud over Damian’s line now. It must have been a part of me then.”
Paul had relaxed his grip on my leg by then so I took his hand in both of mine. He started to pull it away from me but then changed his mind. I was surprised he even stayed at the table but then talking about the man by the pond was probably less bad than talking about Denis. I didn’t want to embarrass anyone else after seeing how much Ray didn’t like me talking about it.
“How many are similar to Paul?” she asked. I looked over at him and he nodded. He was looking down now but squeezed back when I squeezed his hand.
“Four,” I told her.
“And Ray?” she asked. I looked at Ray and he nodded too.
“Three … and there were six that I could read but were unrelated to any of the others.”
“And my other brother. What does he call himself?”
“Pilot,” I still didn’t want to say anymore than I had to.
“And what did Pilot tell you?”
I sat quietly.
“Paul says he has told you everything.”
“Not everything dear,” she insisted.
“Who are my loyalties bound more tightly too?” I asked her. “My line or my mate’s?”
Her eyes narrowed.
“I see what you’re trying to do,” she said. “You are bound to your line … until you have found one of your mates. Then you are bound to his.”
Damn, I thought. It would be easier for Paul to understand my silence if his father told him that I couldn’t speak.
“Paul’s line wants you to break your silence … so you must.”
I thought about what I had to say to protect Alina and her baby. Could I stop anyone in the family from hurting her or killing her to keep Damian from bringing another soldier into his family? Could I choose between her life and Paul’s if I had to?
“I know enough to complete my task. There are others with parts to play that are just as important as mine. I know enough to stay out of their way and not make their jobs any more difficult than they already are. Otherwise I won’t say anymore unless I need help or one of the others does.”
Paul took his hand from me and crossed his arms. His father was openly glaring at me.
“When did she become so blatantly disobedient Paul?” she asked.
He took a minute to answer. I could tell from his tone that I had stepped in it again.
“Recently,” he said angrily.
“Paul … how is this any different than if the Colonel sent you off somewhere? There would be nothing you could even tell me to reassure me. You’d know what you had to do and enough to keep from endangering anyone else but you would probably never know the big picture.”
“It’s completely different,” he said, he was almost growling.
“You’re right,” I admitted. “This is completely different. You already know what I’m going to do Paul. He’s going to come for me and I’m going to kill him. I’m going to cut away whatever ties him to his long line of lives so he never hurts anyone in the family ever again. And along the way I have to figure out whatever it is that gets us both killed while there is still time to keep it from happening. I know that’s not such a big deal to you but it is to me because I really will be starting over on the other side. You won’t.”
I stood up and started for the door. I hadn’t looked at anyone but Paul since I started my rant.
“So I’m sorry if I have no time to fuss with what anyone else is doing because I honestly don’t really care. I have enough to deal with in the next few months.”
And with that I left and went back to my couch downstairs. I lay down and pulled the blanket up over my head. Either Paul would be right behind me or he would be a good long while so after half an hour I decided he wouldn’t come down any time soon. I took a handful of cash from the box then I put on my coat and grabbed an apple. I quietly left through the back gate. Unless Paul was watching from Mrs. Desmond’s laundry room they wouldn’t see me in the dark.
My first stop was the convenience store a couple of blocks away. I bought a couple of hot dogs and two of their prepaid cell phones. Then I headed the dozen or so blocks in the other direction to another convenience store and bought two more.
I hated not knowing how much I could trust Pilot but I hated keeping things from Paul even more. Pilot had hinted that it wasn’t past Paul to try and stop Alina from having Damian’s child like Damian would try and stop me from having Paul’s. It was just better to keep him in the dark for now. I would tell Ray to go to Alina when the time was right but for now everything had to continue just as it was.
I let myself in the back gate and locked it behind me then I went inside. I was still hungry from the jump and wanted some real food. Paul waited at the kitchen table. I stopped for a moment to see if he would start on me right away and when he didn’t I kicked off my boots and took them down the hall to the closet to put them away with my raincoat. I had left chicken in the fridge for my dinner so I put it in.
Paul still hadn’t said anything so I took the phones to the table and started unpacking them. He watched me for a minute then he sighed and started helping me get them out of their boxes. I plugged in two to charge on the counter. The other two I plugged in at the table.
“Hungry?” I asked Paul.
“Yes.”
So I put on enough rice for two. The two big pieces of chicken in the oven would be enough. I pulled the leftover salad out of the fridge.
“Beer?” I offered while I still had my head in the fridge.
“Please.”
I poured it in a glass and put it on the table then I sat down across from him to watch the little charge bars light up over and over on the front of my phone.
“Bee knows you pretty well,” he said finally. “She’s known you a lot longer this time than I have. She says I’m not going to get past your stubbornness.”
I nodded.
“For the record I’m somewhat hurt. If my father hadn’t told me to back off about it I would have been quite embarrassed by your behaviour in front of him. Have I done something to make you not trust me?”
“No. This isn’t about trust between me and you.”
“But it’s still a trust thing?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“You don’t trust someone else … Ray’s father?”
I nodded again. “You and Ray don’t know if I can trust him. I didn’t like him. He treated me like a child which really rubbed me the wrong way. Like you tell a child there are no monsters under the bed … or maybe you do to keep them from wandering off on their own during the night. Maybe that’s all I really am. I don’t know if he said what he did to scare me or to reassure me … maybe I’m the monster under the bed.”
I reached across the table to hold his hand as the rice started to boil. I sighed and got up to turn it down and set the timer. When I sat back down I took his hand.
“I can spin your ring right around your finger now,” I showed him. “I couldn’t do that before I left. Our daughter only said my trip would be hard on you. I didn’t realize what that would mean.
“He made me like this Paul. I doubt myself a lot. What parts of me are really me and what parts are his programming? Are you going to like who I am when this is over and the pieces he gave me are gone?”
“I fell in love with you before any of those things changed in you and I haven’t stopped,” he said softly looking into my eyes. “I will love whatever you are left with when this is over.”
I stood up and leaned across the table to kiss him.
“My love for you hasn’t changed either,” I whispered in his ear before I sat back down. “It’s because of that I’m doing things this way.”
We sat silently at the table for a while.
“You know we haven’t had a meal alone together since that last night after Sturgis … before you came and found me.”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ve missed it.”
“Me too.”
“This time next year there will be a highchair at the table.”
“Yes,” he agreed laughing.
We talked through dinner. The easy humour filled conversation we had been so good at during our first encounters. Before he moved on and I found him again. We talked about the bikes I was fixing up and the work we both had no real plans to go back to. It was a huge relief to me that it was still so effortless to like each other so much when the things around us weren’t completely crazy and distracting. Compared to before I met him things were completely upside down and backwards but as things went now they were unremarkable and that was welcome. Very welcome.
After dinner I cleaned up the dishes and Paul took the phones up to Ray and Denis then he brought them back down to get their gear.
“I hope the beds are okay … Alina and her friend had those rooms when they lived with me in college. Before I took in Mrs. Desmond and moved downstairs. You can move her boxes into the spare room on the main floor or into the shed in the back. It’s the same key as for my door.”
“Thanks Anna,” Ray said. “So what’s up with the phones … I thought you said to keep them off.”
“Keep the ones from home off. We don’t want them traced. You’ll need to buy cards for more minutes. If we’re going to be here for a while we need to start being hidden now.”
“Makes sense,” Paul agreed.
“The truck needs to go … if one of Damian’s men drives by to see your truck with California plates on it then we might as well sit on the front steps and wait for him. It’ll fit in the garage but all the stuff in there needs to go. I’m going to buy a mini van or something tomorrow that Mrs. Desmond can get in and out of. At least we can park that out front. Can one of you drive me around to take care of that?”
Denis said he would.
“Paul, I hate to ask this since you don’t like that I was a crook … but would you agree to getting alternate ID?”
“How alternate?” he asked.
“Alternate enough to do time in a Canadian prison just for having them … but they’ll be good enough to pass pretty much any check the authorities want to run on them. No guarantees of course but they’ll be the best you can get.”
I got out my Rachel passport and driver’s license and my legitimate Anna ID to show him.
“No difference,” I said. “These are relatively cheap to do; it’s the back end records with the government that are expensive. If you want to get in a bar at seventeen the driver’s license is enough. If you get pulled over and they run the card you’ll be in trouble without electronic records to match. I have a few sets and they’ve always held up. I wasn’t lying to Iverson about that.”
Paul looked unhappy about it.
“Don’t tell me you never worked under another name before.”
“Of course I have,” he said shaking his head. “But those were legal.”
“These are legal … ish. I’ll take care of it if you give me the go ahead. You don’t have to use them but do you really want to find yourself needing them and be kicking yourself for telling me no?”
“She’s right Paul,” Ray said. Denis nodded in agreement.
“Alright,” Paul said finally. “How much is it going to cost?”
“I got it covered,” I told him. Then I got out my new phone and punched in the code to hide my number and dialled Kenny.
“It’s Bitch Seat,” I said when he answered. Denis started to giggle so I punched him in the arm and he shut up. “I have some friends looking for work for a couple of weeks … do you have anything for them?”
“How many?” he asked.
“Three.”
There was a pause. “Yeah, I could use them.”
“They’ll appreciate it. So how many klicks have you put on that piece of shit you’re riding?”
“Forty thousand,” he said.
“You need a woman to ride instead,” I laughed. “Riding your bike that much is a fetish.”
“I have six,” he laughed back. “Let’s do lunch. Maybe I’ll get lucky and make it seven.”
“Go pound sand,” I told him and hung up.
“That’s it?” Paul asked.
“I’ll take the payment and your pictures to him tomorrow … they’ll be ready seven days from today.”
“Come on, I’ll take the passport pictures now and the driver’s ones tomorrow. Think about doing something different with your hair for those.” I put a new storage card into the camera for the pictures to make sure that there was nothing traceable on it and took a couple of each of them in front of a pull down back drop I had in my spare room.
“How much is this going to cost?” Paul asked when I was done.
“I didn’t make my dirty money stealing cars … we were into documents for a while. Paid a lot better. My friend still does it. I have enough.”
“But how much?” Paul insisted.
“Forty big ones,” I said quietly. “You’re doing me a favour … that money has dirty written all over it and it’ll be someone else’s problem after lunch tomorrow.”
Paul put his hands on his face and went into the living room.
“Was that Kenny you called?” Ray asked.
I nodded.
“And why do you call yourself Bitch Seat?” Denis was laughing again.
“Back seat of the bike. He would double me in to whatever we were taking … no jacket or helmet. They got in the way when I went under the steering wheel to start it. Remember to do something different with your hair tomorrow … it’s wasted effort if we have the same pictures for both.”
They said good night and left so I went and joined Paul in front of the TV. “Some of the guys got in real trouble working shipments to and from the US. Drugs going south … guns coming up north. Kenny and I stayed out of that but his brother is still in jail. I was very lucky to get away with the small amount of trouble I got in. Kenny still does favours on the side with the ID.
“I don’t want to get into the how’s it any different than when the Colonel gives you what you need to do your job argument again. I know my way is wrong … some of the money will go into the hands of people who do some really bad things,” I sighed. “The people setting up the ID’s are probably the same ones who make them for your Colonel anyway. It’s all I can offer to help.”
He sighed then he put his arms around me and leaned back on the couch. “So I get to meet Kenny tomorrow?”
“No, you don’t. If you’re coming you’re going to be out of sight or he won’t meet me. You’ll have to stay out of sight to or he’ll leave and we won’t get a second chance. It’ll be crowded so you can keep an eye on things from a distance without him noticing.”
“Can you come back up to see Bee tomorrow?” he said eventually. “What I said in the truck … we’ve been working on it but it’s hard to practice on each other … men who have their lines set. She said there’s something different about yours and she wants to test us by seeing if we can figure it out.”
“Sure … I guess. Did she say what?”
“No,” Paul said kissing my head. “That’s why it’s a test.”
“I like Mrs. Desmond just fine … I guess I’m still warming up to Bee,” I sighed. “Any etiquette I need to know for that?”
“Only that you have to give permission to anyone but Ray,” he answered. “She’s somewhat annoyed that you know so many of the rules … my father has always applied them at his convenience but he knows he can’t argue when someone else sticks to them.”
“I’m always making things difficult,” I said. “You know … I’ve never had a man here in my bed …”
Paul laughed. “Come on then … I can’t let a record like that stand.”