Chapter 2
“The soldier has been relieved of duty,” Cam said to the video stream of Adam Thorne. It was the first time he’d spoken to his new boss face to face. Thorne wasn’t much older than he was—thirty-two to his twenty-seven—but he looked like he had another decade on him, shadows under his eyes, a little grey starting to pull through his hair. The man was married to a half-fae, half-human woman, a banshee, who’d just delivered twins. It was a wonder his hair wasn’t completely prematurely white.
“Some people aren’t cut out for Segue,” Adam answered. “I’m glad no one was hurt.”
So was Cam. He’d known he would see some unsettling things during his employment at Segue, but he’d thought they’d come from creatures like the fae, wraiths, even Ms. Russo’s shadow. Not a human being momentarily losing control.
“Where is the shadow now?”
“We don’t know,” Cam answered. “Ms. Russo believes the shadow was scared by what happened and is now in hiding.”
“But if the shadow can’t be harmed by gunfire, what is it afraid of?”
“Ms. Russo claims that the shadow acts on instinct, not reason. My guess is that it perceived a threat, and ran. Simple as that.”
Cam thought back to Ms. Russo, and her reaction. Her pretty face had been tense with worry. She had dark blond hair, blue eyes, a full mouth, lips pressed together in her anxiety. In the summer, he’d bet she would freckle. Every muscle and bone had been rigid as she asked for help. And then there was her double with that smooth body, moving just so—soft and fluid even under attack. She was Eleanor’s opposite, and her mirror. The pretty Eleanor Russo, it seemed, was pretty everywhere.
“I reviewed the video of the interview,” Adam said. “The shadow jumped at the soldier. She was completely wild.”
“But the shadow didn’t harm him,” Cam pointed out, “and she did have cause to protect herself since his attack was unprovoked. She didn’t hurt him, whether it was her will to do so or not.”
“You felt nothing when you attempted to touch her?”
“That’s correct,” Cam said to the monitor. “Thus far, the shadow seems to exist within the same parameters as a ghost and can’t affect the physical world. However, she is considerably more self-aware than what I know of ghosts.”
Adam looked down, presumably at the report Cam had sent an hour before. Details were being verified and cross-referenced, but according to Ms. Russo, she’d lived as almost a complete shut-in all her life. She was a premature home birth, but had survived without hospital care. The shadow had been born simultaneously, exiting her mother’s womb through the flesh, while Eleanor was delivered vaginally. Shortly thereafter, first her father, then her mother abandoned her, leaving her to a grandmother who was savvy enough to move them both out into a rambling old farmhouse in the wide open spaces outside Phoenix. Eleanor had been homeschooled and received an accounting degree online, which she used to support herself. She taught herself to drive at night, on the farm, but rarely left the property. Before the grandmother died five years ago, they had developed a plan to keep Eleanor in hiding, the shadow constrained to the immediate area surrounding the house.
There had been surprisingly few opportunities for discovery, all initiated by the shadow’s attempts to garner attention from passersby, escalating over time. Ellie had confessed that since the death of her grandmother, both she and her shadow had not been handling their enforced isolation well. Ellie had looked for a cure, while the shadow had grown more brazen. Hence, Segue.
Five years alone with her shadow. No wonder Ellie was so pale, so stressed, so desperate. And she’d depended on him. It made him feel like shit that he couldn’t help her, and worse that he’d been rude.
Cam cleared his throat, and Adam raised his head.
“Personally, Mr. Thorne, I’d like to see Ms. Russo made as comfortable as possible. The cells were prepared for wraiths, not a traumatized woman.”
Thorne frowned, considering. “It just so happens I’ve got a wraith in transport to the facility. Really bad timing for a mystery shadow, especially with Segue short staffed. I thought I’d be there tomorrow to oversee the wraith’s imprisonment. I don’t want to complicate the situation by putting them both in the same space.”
A wraith and Eleanor’s shadow—what would that be like? Trouble. But interesting.
Thorne blew out a breath. “I’m with you—if that shadow could have harmed the soldier, I believe she would have.” He shook his head once, as if arguing with himself. “I’m going to regret this, but go ahead and move Ms. Russo into the main building, under surveillance at all times. The Order’s rep will be there tomorrow, anyway, so it’s just one night. And it might do everyone some good, considering what happened with that soldier. Segue is not for the faint of heart. If they can’t take one shadow, they can leave.”
Cam had gone still at The Order. That was a new term to him, but it didn’t sound good for Eleanor Russo. “Mr. Thorne, who exactly am I expecting?”
“It’s not for me to explain,” Thorne answered. “In Ms. Russo’s case, defer completely to the rep’s judgment.”
“If he wants to take her into his custody?”
“His call.”
But Ms. Russo hadn’t come for help from the aide from The Order, whatever that was. She’d come to him, so she was his responsibility. “And if she doesn’t want to comply?”
Thorne’s eyes narrowed at Cam’s question. “She gave up that choice when she entered Segue.”
 
 
Ellie gripped the edge of her seat as the jeep sped down a wide access road toward a massive white building with historic flair. On her entry into the Segue compound, she’d caught a brief glimpse of it before she was taken to the underground prison. Now she had a view of a modern, crate cluttered loading dock of sorts, over which the white building loomed. Her pre-trip research told her the place was once The Fulton Hotel, but the idyllic resort in its Segue incarnation looked more intimidating than welcoming. A soldier drove, a second sat next to him. And another jeep followed behind, for backup. So many people concentrated on her.
Her shadow had curled up, half on the seat, half on Dr. Kalamos’s lap, not unlike the way she used to occasionally behave around Gran, needy and whiny, but now with an attention seeking body awareness, arching to form the most provocative curves for the good doctor’s benefit. And here Ellie felt crushed by the proximity of so many people. She wanted to be alone. Felt best alone.
Pathetic. That’s what Ellie and her shadow were.
Ellie knew it was all her fault. For her part, she’d simply never been exposed to complex social situations. As for her shadow, well . . . her dark half’s earlier seductive talk and poses were for random male attention. But now she’d fixated on Dr. Kalamos, which was infinitely more embarrassing. Ellie let no part of her body touch him. She sat as straight as she could, recounting in her mind his claims that he could not help her. His work was in a different field. She’d made a mistake, that’s all.
Ellie flicked her gaze over at her shadow. Her dark half sent a resentful look her way and cuddled deeper, clearly not accepting the idea of a misunderstanding. She was holding on to Cameron Kalamos, no matter what Ellie decided or what the reality of the situation was.
“I’m keeping him,” her shadow said.
Ellie blushed and looked out at Segue’s grounds.
“Would it help if I told her I wasn’t interested?” Dr. Kalamos asked.
“But I know you are,” her shadow put in, and adjusted to an even more intimate position.
Ellie kept her gaze fixed out the window, but shook her head. “No. Only her own interests matter to her. We came here to see you, so her focus is fixed. I’m sorry. Maybe tomorrow”—with the aide—“she’ll be better.”
Dr. Kalamos had lost his irritated manner, and was now more friendly. Hours ago, Ellie would have told this version of him everything. Now she wouldn’t tell him anything at all.
“Apology not necessary,” he said. “She must’ve been very hard to live with.”
He still didn’t get it. Ellie kept quiet. Was her predicament so hard to understand? She guessed so. Even with all these people pressing in around her, she was still alone with her shadow.
“So you’ll be staying here tonight,” Dr. Kalamos said, with too much energy and brightness. “The place is supposed to be haunted, though I’ve never witnessed a ghost myself. It’s possible that your shadow might interact with the very long-term residents of Segue. Please let me know if a ghost makes an appearance. There’s a pool going between the research teams for who sights one first.” He smiled as if it was a joke. She had no idea what he was talking about. “Anyway,” he continued, “if you have any problems, you’ll be able to signal an alarm, and a team of soldiers will be just outside your door. Otherwise, take a load off and relax. Watch some TV.”
Ellie tried not to look at her shadow again, but glanced anyway, and found the dark eyes trained right back on her.
“He’s not telling you something,” the shadow said.
“And we’re renovating,” he added, ignoring the commentary. “A wraith tore the place up over a year ago, so you’ll see some unfinished mess here and there. Stuff is being hauled around as people move back in. Do you know about wraiths?”
“Yes,” Ellie said. Was that what he was hiding? The existence of wraiths? Or was it something else? If her dark half had sensed an intent to harm, she wouldn’t be so attached to him.
“Monsters of the modern age,” he continued. “Their physiology is actually very interesting. If you’ve been following the news, you’ll have seen some reports, though you’ll get better information online.”
They pulled up to the back of the big white building. The passenger side soldier jumped out before the jeep came to a full stop.
“Here we are,” Dr. Kalamos said. “Let’s get you in and settled.”
The soldier used a keycard to open an outer door that led to a small atrium where they halted. Her shadow walked through the next door, while they waited for security to clear them. When the second lock released, Ellie found herself in a hallway lined with more soldiers. In the doorways were Segue staff members, getting a load of her shadow, who was grinning back and loving the attention. Pleased as punch, Ellie thought the expression went. None of the spectators seemed scared of her shadow.
People, people everywhere. Men and women, different ages. Ellie felt exposed and naked, which she was in every sense. A freak for their inspection.
An older man bent his head to a fellow staff member. “Observe: The light should highlight planes on the body and darken others, but it is movement and interest on the shadow’s part that affects her appearance.”
Ellie needed to get out of here.
“Ms. Russo,” Dr. Kalamos said, gesturing to the speaker. “This is my team leader, Dr. Leonard Shelstad.”
Dr. Shelstad was older, tall and thin, with a long chin. Ellie guessed she was supposed to shake hands—normal people did that—so she wiped her damp palms on her slacks and held out her right. Leonard Shelstad only gave her a dry squeeze, so maybe she had the greeting wrong. She’d only shaken hands once before, and that was a long time ago.
Her shadow hissed. “I don’t like him.”
Ellie didn’t either.
A couple of the other staff members in the corridor murmured, but Ellie couldn’t tell where the sound was coming from. The atmosphere was tense, but with keen interest and a healthy wariness. The fear was all hers.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Ellie said to make up for her dark half’s rudeness.
Shelstad stretched his mouth into a maybe, maybe-not smile.
“This way,” Dr. Kalamos said, taking Ellie’s upper arm to coax her down the hallway. His hand was warm and strong, so her shadow let out a wheezy sigh and trailed close on their heels. Two soldiers followed her shadow.
Ellie was glad to be on her way. She’d take the wraith cell now, and happily. She wanted to be alone. Too many people. Too many eyes and voices.
Dr. Kalamos was right about the renovation. The first rooms they passed through had wires poking out of the ceiling and smelled of paint. In the greater spaces beyond, large boxes and crates waited to be opened. The floor was covered with protective plastic. A couple industrial dollies rested against a wall. The place was obviously in flux.
But the elevator was working, and took them up two floors to a comfortable one bedroom apartment. Everything—the red sofa, coordinating chair, deep chocolate table, even the fireplace—looked new and modern. Nothing like the well-worn dump of her farmhouse. Gran had made it homey when Ellie was growing up, but Ellie hadn’t done anything since Gran died. Why bother? It was just herself and her worse self.
Dr. Kalamos gestured toward the bedroom. “I believe there’s a change of clothes and basic toiletries in there. Dinner will be brought up on a tray.” He held out a necklace, which she regarded with suspicion. “It’s a panic button. Press and help will come. But you’ve got guards right outside as well.”
Ellie took the necklace, a silver bauble with a red button on the front, strung on a black cord. Okay. But she doubted she would need a panic button. It was the staff of Segue that would want one when her shadow roamed. As much as Ellie wanted her seclusion, curiosity often drove her dark half.
Dr. Kalamos clapped his hands and rubbed them together. It was a weird, hurrying gesture. “You all set, then?”
No, she wasn’t. “The aide you mentioned. I’d like to know more.”
“Hiding something,” her shadow repeated.
Oh. Something to do with the aide then.
Dr. Kalamos’s expression relaxed into a natural worry. “I don’t know anything about him. I’ve never even heard of the organization. But then, I’m pretty new here, and as I’m sure you can tell, Segue is not completely up and running. It will be fine.”
Ellie’s stomach pitched. Fine was not reassuring. “What are they going to do with me?”
He sighed audibly. “All I know is that you’re here for the night.”
One night? She felt cold.
“Please don’t worry. Obviously we’ve deemed you safe enough to move into the main building. That’s got to mean something.”
Not much if she had only one night. Why couldn’t she breathe right?
Dr. Kalamos’s green eyes grew serious, and he lost the insincere smile. “I’ll be there with you. I won’t let anything bad happen. You came to the right place.”
Ellie wasn’t sure of anything anymore, but she wanted very much to believe him. And he sounded as if he were making a promise, albeit one she couldn’t trust.
“Now get some rest, if you can.” Dr. Kalamos walked to the open door and nodded to the soldiers. Were they here to protect her, or protect others from her? The latter. She was sealed inside.
Ellie stood helpless in the middle of the room. Couch, chair, TV. All very nice, and useless. She was imprisoned again. She’d wanted to be alone, but now it just seemed to emphasize how different she was from everyone else, how powerless.
She looked to her dark half for company, the very being she’d hoped to cast away on this venture.
But she was shifting through the impediment of a wall. Before she disappeared entirely into Segue, she looked back to smirk, a wicked gleam alight in her black eyes. And then she was gone.
 
 
Cam waited in the hallway outside Ms. Russo’s door for the shadow, guilt gnawing at his guts. He was an asshole, leaving Eleanor like that. She’d come to him for help, and he was going to turn her over to the mysterious aide, who could do whatever the hell he wanted with her. It felt wrong. He’d like to see her at ease. Put her at ease, if he could. She’d been through so much and hadn’t received the reception or assistance she’d hoped for.
Aide. What the hell was that? He had half a mind to call Adam Thorne and demand some answers. The Order sounded medieval, like The Inquisition.
Two soldiers guarded her door. A third operator, Jose, the one who’d given him the mouse under his eye during martial arts training, was assigned to Cam personally. Training at Segue was mandatory for everyone. Jose took position opposite the door. The three appeared unafraid. But then, so had the soldier who had fired on the shadow.
Ms. Russo’s shadow wasn’t scary. She was cool. Very cool. And not dangerous. No aide or Order necessary.
In fact, Cam was certain she’d follow him out of the apartment, considering her recent attachment. She’d probably try to seduce him again, which he would ignore as professionalism required. He wasn’t interested in sexual congress with the shadow. He was interested in the shadow herself—how her mind worked, what motivated her, her essence, how she came to be. It was a fascinating phenomenon.
One night, then tomorrow . . . what? He guessed he’d be back in the lab, jockeying for research hours with Shadow, capital S.
“Shadow is on the move,” a soldier said suddenly.
Cam startled, looking right and left, down the lengths of hallway outside Ms. Russo’s room. “Where?” The minx had to have gone another way. Why use a door when you don’t have to?
Excitement thrummed in his blood. Eleanor’s shadow, one more proof that the laws of nature were defunct, was on the move. Aside from the sudden sinister aide of the creepy Order, this was a great place to work.
Jose was listening to his earpiece. “Level two. West side. Still moving.”
It would be foolish to wait here. Cam and Jose jogged down the hallway. They skipped the wait for the elevator and took the stairs two at a time to get to the security center. Once there, Cam hoped to have a view of the major open areas within Segue. None of the offices or apartments was monitored, except for Ms. Russo’s, a necessary precaution.
“She’s totally random,” Marshall said when Cam joined him at the extended console manned by security. “We spotted her in the West atrium, then she vanished into the unfinished apartments. Scared the shit out of Dr. Marea on four, then ended up in the kitchen ogling a cheesecake.”
A wall of monitors showed the rooms and corridors of Segue. Soldiers were stationed throughout. Sightings were to be reported immediately. Most of the rooms were empty, though awash in light so that security could better view the shadow’s movements. The lab levels showed more activity—it was almost evening, but work was life here. Interesting that Wiley Scott was hanging out at Carol Witter’s office. At the edge of one of the lower rear balconies, a couple of staffers sat chatting while having a smoke. No shadow.
A flat screen to Cam’s left listed the shadow’s reported appearances. They had only six. Not enough to look for patterns. Cam didn’t really expect there to be any. Whims and impulses, Eleanor had said.
The view into Ms. Russo’s apartment showed the flesh and blood version idling at a window, looking out. After a while, to Cam’s amusement, she did sit down on the couch and turn on the television, but only to flip through the channels restlessly. Food was brought up to her. Cam went hungry. Ms. Russo rinsed her dishes in the apartment sink. She paced.
The hours wore on.
“Contact,” another soldier said, his voice coming through the monitor. This time on the third floor again, moving more slowly. Cam watched on the monitor. The shadow walked to the center of the room, and then stalled as something to her right caught her attention. Whatever it was took her through the wall.
“What happened?” Marshall asked the soldier.
“A sound got her attention,” came the soldier’s voice over the console speaker.
On a monitor, Barbie Hinkle, a systems tech, ran toward the soldier, pointing in the direction of her apartment. Her hair was dripping, a robe belted at her waist. Cam could make out few words. Most of them were foul.
Similar scenarios played out over the next two hours. The list on the flat screen grew. Ten. Fourteen. Nineteen. The shadow responded to noises and people and light. She wandered into the ghost hunters’ elaborate setup of apparatus, then left right away again. He liked her more and more. The ghost hunters were full of crap.
Flesh and blood Eleanor Russo did not sleep. She’d curled up on the sofa staring at the TV. At one point, she swiped at her face, so he knew she’d started crying. And he felt like an asshole all over again, wishing he could help. She was a nice girl. Strong, brave, smart, and way too serious.
“Ten minutes, no sign of the shadow,” Marshall noted.
But Cam continued watching Eleanor. He’d known her all of twelve hours, and even when the soldier had fired a few feet from her position, she’d kept her steely composure.
Then again, maybe she felt like she could cry now that she was alone. Maybe the tears were a girl thing. Tough under pressure, bawl in private. Could be. Yeah.
Still didn’t feel right. Cam shook his head, no. If Eleanor was going to cry, it would have been when they threw her in the wraith cell. Cam would have been bawling himself to be imprisoned in the facility. Bad things were going to happen to the wraiths down there. He’d have felt no shame whatsoever pleading for mercy to get out.
No, something was upsetting Eleanor deeply.
“I think we need to find her shadow,” Cam said. “And now.”
“I thought that’s what we were doing,” Marshall said.
Eleanor was weeping, her face in her hands. What had happened? Something had to have happened.
Twenty minutes staring at the screen. Nothing.
“I’m going to check on Ms. Russo,” Cam said to no one in particular. “See if she’s okay.”
His last glance at the monitor showed Eleanor pacing again, wringing her hands as tears streamed down her cheeks. She grabbed the fob at her neck and pressed her panic button. The alarm sounded at his back as he darted from the security center.
The three minutes it took to pelt back to her room were too long. The soldiers who had been on guard were already inside, a couple more besides. One was reporting an “all clear” to his commander.
Cam could hear Eleanor arguing as he approached the door. “You get Dr. Kalamos back here right now—”
He waved the soldiers aside as he entered.
Eleanor whipped around, eyes blazing with anger on top of some other deep, wrenching emotion. “What have you done to her?”
“Nothing, I swear,” Cam answered. “We’ve been tracking her, but—”
“I don’t believe you. I can feel her.” Fresh tears streaked down Eleanor’s flushed cheeks. Her eyes had gone aquamarine with her distress. “What have you done?”
“Eleanor, we haven’t harmed her,” he said. “We’ve only been tracking her. We have our orders to wait until the morning and turn you both over. I’ve been completely truthful from the beginning.”
Had the aide arrived early? Now he was really worried.
“I don’t believe you.” She obviously held him responsible. And damn it all, he kind of held himself responsible, too, though just where he’d gone wrong, he didn’t know.
“Can you find her?” Cam asked. “I’ll follow. You’ll see she’s just hiding in someone’s apartment or something.”
The alternative made him very uncomfortable; he hated the idea of someone here getting their hands on her. Who the hell was he working for? Maybe Segue was too much of a good thing. Working here was so good, there had to be a catch; maybe he was finding it now. Shadow, the fae . . . maybe the opportunity to research them came at too high a cost.
“No, I can’t find her,” Eleanor said, voice raw. “She’s the one who finds me.”
“Fine,” Cam said, taking her by the arm and pulling her out the apartment door. “We’ll find her together. Search the whole goddamn place, over and over if necessary. Just you and me.”
And the soldiers dogging their steps.
They were on the main floor, in the hotel’s renovated grand entrance when Eleanor went still. She frowned, her gaze sharpening toward a wall.
“She’s that way.” Eleanor lifted an arm and pointed. “She’s hurting. I’m hurting.”
Cam took her raised hand and squeezed it in his. “Then we go that way.”
All the way to the middle of the labyrinth, if need be. He had to know for whom he worked. He had to know if he was with the good guys or the bad.
Eleanor took him from doorway to corridor, through rooms Cam had yet to visit, most empty and in a delayed state of repair. These had to be part of the phase two renovation he’d heard about. None of them was secured, much less monitored. Plastic hung like ghosts over doorways and walls that were framed out, some with insulation, others wavering heavily with their swift passage.
What could have possibly interested Eleanor’s shadow here? No light, no noise, no people to entice.
They came to a heavy metal door with a keypad, which Cam’s passcode opened, to his surprise. He’d figured that sooner or later he’d reach the limit of his security clearance, but the shadow was obviously not lurking in a high security zone.
Beyond was a wide hallway, white and scuffed, with another set of sealed double doors at its end. An exit, probably off the west side of the building. A ladder lay on its side near the wall, splattered with paint.
And farther down, kneeling on the floor in profile, arms reaching toward a long, narrow panel—drywall?—was Eleanor’s shadow.
“See?—” Cam began to Eleanor.
But Eleanor was already rushing down the hallway. Cam and the soldiers ran behind, though no danger was apparent. The passage had been quiet; no sinister Segue procedure was being enacted on the dark form, for which he was very relieved. They all came to a halt when the front of the panel was visible; it was not drywall, but a painting.
Eleanor’s shadow was on her knees. Cam almost dropped to his own.
He looked upon the Shadowlands.
He’d hoped one day to see this place with his own eyes. He’d worked hard to earn the right, and even got the coveted job that would offer the possibility. For this, he would’ve given and would give everything. Maybe, oh God, even allow innocent Eleanor Russo to be taken away by an aide of The Order.
Magic.
The panel was a window to another world, one alive with lush wonders. Ancient trees filled the view, with leaves of deep, raging color—indigo, magenta, midnight purple. And they moved as if alive, as if the trees were aware he gazed on them with all the longing in his heart. Shadow, his Shadow, that new and oh-so-old element he sought to study, fell thick in every hollow and copse. He sensed that if he reached, he might scoop a handful and drink it like river water. And within the darkest patches, movement. The fae.
It was the between world—the place where the mortal world met the Hereafter. On every level of his being, he desired this place.
He gave a soft, breathless groan of want, but no . . . the sound his heart made came from a female throat. At his side, composed and controlled Eleanor was weeping again. She wept for Shadow. Fierce longing pulled at her features, as she too, looked on forever. She seemed in the midst of both devastation and epiphany. He knew exactly how she felt.
And below him, kneeling, her shadow’s arms tried to embrace magic. The slight break and stress of her wrists emphasized how empty her hands were. She reached toward the forest, the stretch of her body anguished with need.
Eleanor had been weeping for at least a half hour before they’d found her shadow. She must have been feeling this—he knew she had. But how?
We are the same, Eleanor had said. I am her and she is me.
Something clicked in his mind.
He was an idiot. Worse, she knew he was an idiot. Her shadow was not a reflection or ghost twin or doppelganger.
Her shadow was herself. Therefore, only one woman was in the hallway with him. One woman, split into two, elemental and reasoning, in respective bodies, but one.
Further, the sweet Ms. Eleanor Russo was not so controlled, not so compliant, certainly not cooperative. Part of her was intensely curious, wanted sex and wanted it bad, sought attention at every turn, acted on pure instinct. The other part was deliberate, enduring, brave, and desperate in her cause.
Separate, she had a big problem, one she’d hoped he would solve. Altogether, she made one hell of an intriguing woman.
Huh. Been a while since he’d had a crush on anyone. It was as good a reason as any to do the right thing.
He sighed, blowing out his decision slowly. He would not be turning Eleanor over to any aide tomorrow, not unless all of his questions were satisfied. And he had a bundle. Asking hard questions was what he’d been trained to do.
His gaze slid toward magic again and his heart leaped.
Still no. He would not be tempted.
He’d see the Shadowlands again, would pour his mind and guts into the effort, but most likely not at Segue. As of tomorrow, he’d probably be out of a job.
 
 
Ellie couldn’t stop the tears. They came from her dark half, her deep self, who was rapt with awe at a painting. The painting was lovely, a life-sized vantage of a forest. Great skill had been exercised to render the depth of perception and the layered mixtures of colors, especially in those mysterious patches that seemed almost black, but not quite. Anyone could see that a talented artist had painted this. In the past, her shadow had occasionally responded to art with emotion, though never to this degree. The last time Ellie had hurt this much was when Gran passed away. The tears hadn’t stopped falling then, either. Even now, every once in a while . . .
Now Ellie knew why. For once Ellie saw what her shadow did.
A dreamland of trees, steeped in seductive fantasy. This was passion dark and rich, with a power that she had never imagined. It made her body scream for touch, her mind fragment with the throb of magic. She wanted this, needed to feel this, but it belonged to her other half. Her shadow got the best of everything.
“Can you cover it up?” Ellie asked. Please.
Dr. Kalamos reached over and squeezed her hand, as if he could possibly understand how she felt. “You’re not alone.”
Ellie snorted through her tears. “I’m never alone.”
Kalamos lifted his chin to one of the soldiers. “Can you see if there’s a tarp somewhere back there?”
The soldier departed and Ellie closed her eyes against the feelings that still surged within. A sudden sense of loss and disconnect had her stumbling, but that was just her shadow’s reaction, foundering after the painting was covered.
“Don’t . . . please . . .” her shadow begged.
Ellie turned her back on herself and strode down the corridor. She could find her way on her own if she had to. Stupid shadow, making her feel like that. It wasn’t fair.
“Wait, Eleanor!” Kalamos called.
She didn’t want to stop, but a soldier impeded her progress. She wouldn’t look back.
“I understand,” Kalamos was saying, but not to her. He had to be talking to her other half. “It’s pure magic.” He was talking about the painting again. “That’s Shadow.”
“Yes,” her dark self breathed.
Ellie braced against a pang of longing. It hit harder than she’d been prepared for. Shadow, the element he’d said he studied. He should have just said magic. The potency of it made her little shadow problem seem trivial.
“I want it badly, too,” he continued. “But it’s always there. You know that, right?”
“Yes.” Again, spoken with longing.
More sweet pain jolted Ellie. Damn them both.
“But not tonight,” he said.
“I want to see it now,” her shadow insisted. “Now.”
“It can’t be now,” he explained.
Was he actually trying to reason with her again? Did he actually think he could placate her with a promise of later? For her shadow, there was no later.
Ellie didn’t turn at the sound of Dr. Kalamos’s approach. He stopped just behind her.
“If you walk away,” he said, “will she eventually lose interest in the painting?”
Surprise forced Ellie to pivot and meet his gaze. It almost seemed that—? Had he finally—?
“No,” Ellie answered carefully. “I’m pretty sure her interest is caught.”
The feeling was as strong as when Gran died, though not nearly as hopeless in tone. The grief following her death had been so ragged and cold, the future so unbearable, that Ellie had wanted to die herself. Similarly, her shadow had crouched by the grave for weeks, unmoving, raw in sorrow. But when she finally returned to the house, she returned more bold and powerful than she had ever been in Ellie’s life. Ellie didn’t want to think about what had happened next.
“What does her interest in the painting mean for you?” he asked.
Ellie shrugged. “That she’s predictable for a little while.”
“That you’re predictable,” he corrected.
Ellie held her breath. Yes, he finally understood. He’d be putting it all together now, associating her shadow’s actions with Ellie. All that writhing and strutting. Heat flew to Ellie’s face. She was exposed. She wrapped her arms around herself to cover what she could (nothing) and nodded, unable to deny it.
Concern and humor filled his gaze. “Until you, I thought I was pretty smart. Took me all day, didn’t it?”
She nodded again, wary and miserable.
He held out his hand. “So let’s start over. I’m Cameron Kalamos. I’ll leave off the Dr. until I think I’ve earned it again. Why don’t you call me Cam?”
“Cam,” she repeated, shaking a hand for the third time in her life. This time it felt right. Like she was really meeting someone. And someone who had witnessed the worst in her, yet seemed okay with it. “I’m Ellie.”
“Ellie,” he said, his green eyes going to crescents. “How do you do?”
Ellie felt her blush heat, and looked away from those penetrating eyes or her shadow would take notice. She might have already, and would bring her naked self over. But her shadow was still looking at the covered painting, distress on her face.
Yes, it was that beautiful. That wrenching. But Ellie would take the interest in Cam’s eyes any day.
A commotion had them all turning. There was overlapping movement as others joined them in the hallway, Mr. Black Pants in the lead. “Cameron, what’s going on here?”
Cam’s arm went around Ellie’s waist as he brought her forward. “Ellie, this is Marshall Grouper. He manages things around here.”
Marshall nodded her way, but kept his attention on Cam. “The shadow?”
“We found her,” he said. “She’s formed an emotional connection to the painting at the end of the hallway. Actually, I have too. I’d sure as hell like more information about it.”
Ellie wondered about the artist, and what he or she must have seen to have painted such an evocative setting. The artist had to have been looking with his shadow, too.
“It’s Mr. Thorne’s property and none of your business,” Marshall was saying. “What was she doing to it?”
“Just looking,” Cam answered. “She can’t actually touch anything. We’ve covered it now, but Ms. Russo thinks that her shadow will remain preoccupied regardless.”
Marshall gave Ellie his full attention. “She can’t stay here.”
Ellie tensed at being put on the spot. Ummm . . . “Then move the painting?”
Cam laughed, but mostly at Marshall Grouper, which made her warm inside. Her reaction was dangerous.
“Brilliant idea,” Cam said. “Problem solved. Now I’m going to escort Ms. Russo back to her room so she can get some rest. I’ll meet you in security and explain in greater detail.”
Ellie kept very quiet on the way back. This felt too good, too glowy. Any happier and her shadow might just break from the painting and crawl all over Cam, and she’d have to hate herself all over again. The soldiers followed, solemn, an ever-present reminder of her strangeness, yet the walk through the big hotel gave her the even stranger feeling of belonging. Hallways and connecting rooms, the elevator. The only sound was a soft whir pulling them upward.
She’d never said good night to a man at her door. Had only seen the interaction on TV and read about it in books. Cam stuffed his hands in his pockets, and kind of looked nervous himself. The sight made her grin.
“You’ve got a gorgeous smile,” he said, stepping back. “You should use it more often.”
The glow within went brighter, scary bright, so she could only give a lame shrug. The door closed, a lock snicking into place.
And Ellie felt a break within, coinciding with another strong surge of delicious emotion. Twice in one night, the painting, now this, each so different. Her shadow’s power was definitely growing.
It was her own fault, really, because she liked Cam so much. She’d bet anything now that her dark half’s interest had shifted. And that her shadow was once again on the move.
 
 
Cam checked his watch—2:54 A.M.—as he got into the elevator with Jose. By now, everyone had to realize that Ellie’s shadow was safe, that the extra protection was unnecessary, but it was too late to argue.
Adrenaline falling, Cam wanted some coffee. Strong and black. And a sandwich. And a bathroom.
At least the rest of the watch tonight would be uneventful, now that the shadow’s attention had settled on the painting. That predictability might go a long way to help Ellie’s case tomorrow. What harm could the shadow do? None. He was certain of it. Ellie had come to him for help. He’d give what he could.
He glanced over at Jose, who had his head cocked slightly, an eyeball trained on him, eyebrow lifted.
“What?” Cam asked.
Jose’s mouth twitched, mocking, in answer. It was the same kind of derision Cam was used to in martial arts training, minus the pummeling.
“Shut up,” Cam answered. He was only being friendly to a nice girl. That’s all.
“It’s your funeral,” Jose returned.
Cam ignored him the rest of the walk back to the security room. He’d barely entered when Marshall nodded toward a monitor. “I thought you said the painting would hold her interest.”
Cam moved quickly to see for himself. “She’s gone?”
“Not two minutes ago,” Marshall said. “Streaked from the room. Literally. Right after I updated the . . . uh, aide on her supposed enduring interest. Thanks a lot, Kalamos.”
“I don’t understand.” Cam peered closer at the monitor, as though the shadow would materialize for his effort. The painting had been moved from the hallway to what appeared to be one of the larger rooms on the first floor, from what he could tell of the oversized windows and the gleam of the wood floor. This room’s renovation was completed, though it lacked furniture. The painting leaned against a wall, still covered.
It didn’t make sense. He’d seen the shadow’s reaction to the painting. He was still feeling the effects of it himself, a kind of soul ache that intensified with the memory of the trees. Ellie had felt it too; she’d been touched the same way he had. Her tears were not feigned, nor was the longing in her expression. And her shadow was the conduit. There was nothing within Segue more powerful than that painting. Why it had been stored in that unsecured hallway was beyond him. Somebody had to have made a grave mistake.
“She’ll be back,” Cam said. “Has she been spotted anywhere else?”
He glanced at the monitor that viewed Ellie’s apartment. The flesh and blood version was curled up on the couch, her face hidden. Dozing? He couldn’t tell.
This would have been so much easier if her shadow had stayed put.
“Haven’t seen her yet,” Marshall answered.
Cam turned, dismissing the monitors. “Doesn’t matter. The shadow is harmless.”
“There’s nothing harmless at Segue,” Marshall drawled.
Cam sighed his frustration. It seemed Ellie wasn’t going to make any friends tonight. And once again, he had to find her shadow. But first, Nature called. Better see to it in the lull of activity. That sandwich would go a long way, too.
He was just zipping up when he sensed a presence, causing goose bumps at his nape. He fastened his button as he turned, fresh energy jetting into his blood.
Ellie’s shadow. The matte grey of her skin had deepened to onyx, but her features were just as sweet. Though she didn’t require oxygen, her chest, still outrageously bare, rose and fell with rapid, deep breaths.
He guessed she wanted him alone.
Professional. “I thought you’d stay near the painting.”
“This is better,” she answered. She smiled that fantastic smile. Ellie had no idea what effect it had.
Cam was more than flattered. If Ellie’s shadow was here, looking at him like that, then Ellie herself had to like him a lot. And not that clinginess from earlier in the day in the jeep—that was her desperation still hoping that he might be able to help her. The other Ellie, the one who used her mind, had kept as far away and formal as she possibly could have.
Naked Ellie arched before him, one hand gliding up her belly, smooth and tight, between her perfect breasts, over her slender neck, her cheek, and into her hair. The other skated lower, to the inside of her thigh. Her lips parted, head tilting back to look at him.
Cam’s mouth went dry, while another unprofessional reaction overcame his body and threatened to embarrass him.
I’ll never live it down if Jose busts the door open.
“Please,” her shadow begged.
Laughingstock for sure.
“I can’t give you what you want,” Cam said. “You know that.” She had to know that.
“But I want so much, so bad to . . .” The fingers at her thigh pressed into her flesh.
The pressure at his groin turned painful. Think about Jose. Ugly Jose.
“In time there will be someone . . .” he tried.
“You.” She drew closer, putting a hand to his chest. His damn brain was playing tricks on him because he could almost feel the light pressure stroking up to circle his neck. “I want you.”
He looked away, gritting his teeth to get his body back under control. “I like you, too, Ellie, God knows I do, but . . .”
The sweet dark body drew closer. “Yesss.”
Cam swallowed. “. . . and maybe someday we can pursue this, but—”
“Now.” Ellie’s shadow pulled herself up. Her face eased closer, dark eyes trained on his mouth. When her lips brushed his, again he had that feather light sensation of touch. Phantom sensations, that’s what this was, his mind filling in the blanks in the absence of true stimuli.
And then her mouth pressed, silky soft, against his. Real. An erotic fantasy girl suddenly come to life.
He angled his head to get the kiss just right, and took it to the place where there was no air, just the whomp whomp whomp of his heart and the feel of her body against his. He touched her tongue and rasped for friction.
A naked leg went around him. The band at his waist released, startling him.
The shadow could be touched.
An internal red flag waved, but his arms went around her anyway—so smooth on the curve of her hip. She slid a hand up his back under his shirt.
The thing was . . . he’d thought Ellie had said that her shadow couldn’t do anything. He’d asked her specifically, and this was definitely something. If her shadow could touch him, touch him, then what else could she do? With her ability to walk through walls, she was unstoppable.
Cam’s blood cooled and redirected at last. He shifted to grip the shadow at her shoulders and push her away. She whimpered in protest, her skin tone dissipating. She lost that strange sense of solidity so that he was suddenly, abruptly, left holding nothing. Just looking at a wicked smile and black eyes that should have been blue.
And here he’d been willing to give up his job for her.
Eleanor Russo had lied.
 
 
“I’m telling you the truth.” Ellie stood behind a chair, gripping the top of its back like a shield. Her gaze shifted from Cam to the soldiers in her room and back to Cam. Her shadow had to have done something really bad this time. Ellie was so sick and tired of this. It had to end. It would end, no matter what; she’d make it end.
Her shadow sulked in a corner of the living room, but Ellie ignored her.
“And I am telling you that she touched me.” Cam’s voice was back to cold and clipped. He ignored her shadow too. “Physically touched me.”
“I want you,” her shadow said. More like whined.
Ellie closed her eyes. She knew she shouldn’t have gotten so close to him. Liked him. Gran would be making that tsk, tsk sound with her teeth. Ellie had done this to herself. She never should have come here. This was all a big mistake. On every level, hers.
“Maybe you imagined it,” Ellie said, trying to divert him. Her shadow had only been able to touch something once. Most likely he’d imagined it.
Either that or Ellie had sought help too late; her shadow had grown too strong for her.
“He touched me, too,” her shadow said, and she never lied. Her dark half stroked her breasts, chest, neck, so Ellie got an idea what had happened. Her shadow had made what Gran would have called a pass.
“I admit that I’ve been slow to understand the dynamics of your situation,” Cam said, “but I am absolutely certain that for a time she had a physical form.” His nostrils flared with his anger. “It’s already tomorrow, so very soon you won’t be my problem anymore”—Ellie shivered—“but I’d like to understand what happened before I take action.”
“I want to go home,” Ellie said, more to herself than him.
Her shadow hissed disapproval.
“Too late,” Cam said. “Are you going to cooperate?” He gave a humorless smile. “Or am I wasting my time?”
Ellie’s eyes still burned from the tears she’d shed earlier. She scraped her bottom lip with her teeth, considering, then decided she had nothing to lose. She’d come with the intent to tell everything, but had flinched in that first interrogation. Was the delay worth it? Was it worth that electrifying moment she’d had in the doorway with Cam? She didn’t know.
“Worth it,” her shadow said.
Ellie stepped around the chair and dropped her weight into it. She leaned forward to hold her head in her hands, elbows on knees. She was so damn tired, but yeah, she’d tell. She’d even reveal that last lie, which wasn’t fair, because from what she knew of people, everyone lied. Big and small, they got to hide behind all sorts of distortions of the truth. But not her.
“Yeah, okay.” She shook her head slightly, unable to believe she was going to utter the words. “My shadow has once before, and only once, been able to touch something. Me, actually.” Ellie lifted her gaze to Cam. Tears pricked, which she blamed on her shadow, but Ellie didn’t let them fall. “It was when I tried to kill myself.”
The edge in Cam’s eyes dulled somewhat. The frown remained.
“My Gran had died,” she explained simply. She didn’t have the heart to go into how much Gran had meant to her, how she’d kept her sane and made life easy. How good she’d made the house smell—lavender scent everywhere. Ellie couldn’t relate how Gran had welcomed her miserable dark half and had ridiculous conversations with her. Why Erik Estrada was cuter than David Hasselhoff. Why shoulder pads made women look like men. Ellie almost laughed at the memory. “When she died I was so miserable, completely alone. Or not, depending on how you look at it.”
Ellie sat back up, but crossed her arms for warmth. “Living seemed pretty hopeless, so I weighed the advantages and disadvantages of existing like that, and decided that I couldn’t.”
Cam’s frown deepened.
Gran would have been so disappointed. Likewise, her shadow whimpered again behind her. Gran had worked so hard to make them happy and help them understand how each self worked, and why. But understanding was not living.
“I went for quick. Tied the rope right.” Ellie’s heart beat hard at the memory, costing her air.
A flash of memory hit her: The high ceiling over the stairs in the farmhouse. The logistics of climbing over the banister at that steep angle.
She licked her lips to keep going, but backtracked to make the telling easier. Talking about this made her body feel so strange. “My shadow had been unbearable. She’d taken to standing in the middle of the road, and she was getting more and more attention. It had to stop.”
Cam’s brow furrowed. “In our cross-check of your background, we received a local newspaper report about a ghost on your street. A young, naked woman.”
“That was her, but it happened all the time. Seemed like, anyway.” Ellie smiled bitterly, then choked on her next words, but got them out anyway. “So I jumped.”
“I want to live,” her shadow said, circling her arms around Ellie’s shoulders. “I will live.”
Ellie locked her gaze on Cam’s. He wanted to know what kind of a nightmare her shadow could be? Well, here was the truth. “Her skin went all black, utterly opaque, and she held me up, mid-air, without anything to support her.” Did that scare him enough? To this day it still scared her. “She fought me. I tried a knife. She broke the blade in half. Stopped my car from smashing into the house. Forced food and water down my throat. She’s so damn strong.” Ellie glanced at the soldiers, the terror of those days alive in her mind. “She is stronger than all of them put together. I don’t recommend attempting to harm me.”
“You know I don’t want to hurt you,” Cam said.
“He likes me,” the shadow confirmed in Ellie’s ear.
“What would your grandmother have said about all that?” He drew something from his pocket. A syringe.
Brave man. Stupid, but brave.
Both Ellie and her shadow looked at the long, clear implement. But her dark half didn’t darken, didn’t move to intercept.
“Gran would’ve said that I didn’t really want to die.”
Cam started forward. Was he actually going to test her shadow after all Ellie had told him?
“I don’t think you did either.” Cam took off the cap of the needle. He gave her a sorry look, then flicked the plastic.
Her shadow watched, her arms still clasped around Ellie.
Ellie started to shake. “What are you going to do?”
And why didn’t her shadow stop him?
“I have to take precautions, Ellie.” His jaw flexed as he lifted her arm. “We’ve had enough excitement for the night, I think. I’m going to sedate you.”
He was going to shut them both down. Almost like killing her, but not.
He didn’t trust her.
A prick, a burn as he dispensed the fluid. Ellie went warm. At the edge of her vision, she saw her shadow’s arms dim—that was new—and then there was nothing.