Chapter 4
“How did you find me?” The blacksmith’s gaze roved her face. Firelight cast a flickering band across his features, but Layla could make out slightly tilted black eyes, tensed with strong emotion. Her heart stumbled in reaction; the intensity of his gaze was painfully familiar and cut straight to her core. A sudden fierce burn rushed along her nerves, so when he shifted to stroke her hair, her shock allowed the intimacy.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t mean to—” She was shaking with confusion. The attack on the street must have been worse than she’d thought, because the rattling gate, the strange blacksmith, the impenetrable dark . . . She was used to her visions, fighting them, compartmentalizing the real world from the aberrations she saw from time to time. This was different.
“Kathleen. Tell me you remember.” His voice was husky.
She felt his fingers lightly stroke the side of her cheek. Where he touched, sensation spread, sensuous and enticing. Her blood sang as heat flooded her, humming through her system in a gorgeous awakening of want and need. This was too much, way too much, so she turned her head away.
The gate behind her breathed against her body, a living thing. Throw me wide. The voice hurt her head. I was made for you. This wasn’t right; gates did not speak, did not simmer with life. She understood that now and gritted her teeth against the compulsion to obey.
“Be at ease, Kathleen,” the man said. “You’ve nothing to fear. I’ll take care of everything.”
She gave a tight shake of her head. This, at least, she knew, and it was a start at getting things straight. “I’m not Kathleen. You must have me mistaken for someone else.”
And she could take care of herself; she had since she was a kid. She found her spine and slapped his hand away from her face to prove it. What had gotten into her? She didn’t know this man, and he certainly didn’t know her. Why did his open arms seem like a haven of safety and comfort?
“I am not mistaken.” His lips curved into a slight smile. A smile. Here. In this black hole, with this . . . this thing burning at her back.
The man was out of his mind, and so was she to respond. She had to be very clear. “Get the hell away from me.”
The smile grew fierce. “Same spirit.”
Drugs. It had to be. Something in the air was causing her to hallucinate. That’s why she felt this way. She needed to get out of this smoke, breathe clean, industrial smog and rancid river, and then maybe her head would clear. She peered into the darkness beyond him. The exit, she hoped, was that way.
kat-a-kat: You’ll be alone forever. Throw me wide.
“No!” Though she didn’t know whom she answered. If she could just get out. Find her car. Then maybe—
“Shhh. Be still.” The man raised his hand again, but hesitated, holding it in the air over her heart. Or maybe he wanted to cop a feel. What was it with men today?
She gripped her flashlight, but found she held the iron flower instead. Fat lot of good that would do her unless she could knock him out with it, then . . .
. . . then throw me wide.
Yes, then open the gate wide.
A sudden bright light caught her attention, a door opening in the dark. So white-bright it made her eyes tear. What now?
“Damn fool angel,” the blacksmith growled under his breath.
Angel? He was absolutely, unequivocally stark raving—
Layla didn’t have time to dodge the swift caress of his fingers to her forehead. “Sleep,” he commanded.
Even as her mind sparked with anger against his touch, her legs gave in a watery whoosh and she fell into darkness.
 
 
Shadowman caught Kathleen’s fluid drop and lifted her against his chest. Elation had him humming, trembling with excitement. He had to check himself so he wouldn’t crush her body.
“That her?” Custo asked as he approached. His gaze quickly flicked to the gate, hardened, then returned to Shadowman.
“Yes,” Death breathed.
Custo’s doubt and impatience infused the crowded Shadows. “Then why is she mortal? And why is she out cold?”
“I cast her into sleep so the gate wouldn’t plague her while I dealt with you. And she wasn’t in Hell after all.” Shadowman drew deep to inhale her scent; under the cloying perfumes of modernity was tangy, feminine sweat, turned slightly with fear. “She came to me.”
Custo’s doubt redoubled and his brow lifted. “If you build it, she will come?”
Shadowman frowned. The boy was laughing at him.
“Talia is twenty-eight.” Custo jutted his chin toward Kathleen. “Shouldn’t she be in her fifties?”
The woman in his arms was indeed young, fresh, new to the world. “She was reborn.”
“Reincarnated? That’s very rare. Damn near unheard of. Are you certain it’s her?”
Shadowman did not deign to answer a second time. As if he wouldn’t recognize the woman who’d changed everything for him. Kathleen.
“Okay, it’s her. Bully for you.” Custo’s gaze moved to the gate. “So that thing wasn’t necessary after all?”
“The gate drew her, did it not?”
“Next time make a compass. Leave Hell and its devils alone, please.”
A sear on his senses told Shadowman there were more of Custo’s kind massing outside the warehouse. The jumble of heartbeats confirmed it. They had come for the gate, but somehow he knew they’d refuse him Kathleen as well. They could not have her. He’d fight them if they tried to take her.
“They’re coming,” Custo said. “You’d better get her out of here.”
“The gate?”
“We’ll take care of it. No way it’s staying here, vulnerable.” His gaze dropped to Kathleen. “And I think your attention is going to be elsewhere.”
The boy was ever naive. To transfer the keeping of something so drenched in power could never be that easy; such creations were bound to their maker. The gate would have to be unmade, which was a great deal more difficult than merely dismantling the metal.
But the angel would have to learn that the hard way. Shadowman would take his reprieve to be with Kathleen. To help her remember. She had to remember.
Shadowman reached into the darkness, parting the veil. “The hammer is on the anvil.”
He watched as Custo strode over and gripped the hateful tool.
Now only the devil remained, but Shadowman could deal with it on his own. The devil would wreak havoc with any it encountered, and so needed to be put down immediately. Otherwise, Kathleen would blame herself for the lives it took.
But Custo need not know about that either. Knowledge of the devil would prolong the angels’ stay.
Death stepped into darkness, his woman clutched at his chest.
“Wait,” Custo called.
Shadowman paused but didn’t turn.
“Where can I find you?”
As if he would ever let that happen before he was ready. “I’ll be in Shadow.”
 
 
How to begin? How to help her remember?
Shadowman laid Kathleen on the soft earth under the glittering boughs of the dark trees. Fae voices murmured on the rise and gust of the wind.
This incarnation of Kathleen would have her own idea of Death, created by this life’s experiences, fears, hopes for her future. Of all that, he knew nothing, and so could not chance revealing himself.
At least in Twilight, Shadow sustained him. His form would be easier to hold. He filled his essence with the dark stuff. He’d need every bit until she remembered him and what they were to each other. Please.
Her sickroom? Kathleen had loathed it.
Then where? What could possibly reach her? He’d have to work quickly. Too long in Shadow and a mortal would go mad.
He cast his gaze down. Kathleen’s head was tilted to the side, her lips were slightly parted, and her eyelids fluttered as she dreamed. The wavy swath of her hair gleamed gold in Twilight. Her hips were turned, narrowing her waist and accentuating the swell of her breasts. She was Sleeping Beauty all over again.
And then he knew. Kathleen’s fantasy when she was a girl. He’d start there, where he’d been her hero.
 
 
Layla woke in fairyland. She raised a hand to her groggy head but stopped short when she saw the princess sleeve with pointed cuff of the—her gaze examined the rest of her attire—gaudy yellow princess dress she wore. There was a slight weight on the crown of her head, and she knew, given the atrocity of her getup, that it had to be a tiara. Or, hell, worse—one of those satin cones they sold at the Renaissance Fair, ribbons coming out of the tip.
Obviously she was asleep and in the middle of a nightmare.
Fact of the matter was she’d been working too hard. The signs had been there for a while. The events of the last few days only confirmed it. Her recent breakup hadn’t helped either. If she didn’t let up soon, she was going to have a nervous breakdown. Considering all the things she’d been seeing lately, maybe this was it.
She struggled against the billows of fabric to stand on two feet. She didn’t know, but could guess, that she was wearing some sort of slippers completely unsuited to a dark and dense forest. Her waist was cinched tight with a wide ribbon, the bow blooming from her backside.
Maybe when she was three she’d have enjoyed a dress like this, all princess and fairy tales. But not for long. Weak damsels in distress that lay around waiting to be saved made her want to scream. She hated feeling weak. Helpless.
“Okay, Layla, wake up,” she said aloud to herself.
She scanned the area but saw only crowding trees and darkness. The trees were weirdly familiar, as if she’d seen them all her life, but couldn’t place where. Among them, like an ashen vampire, tall, narrow, and wrapped in a cloak, was the blacksmith from the warehouse. At least, the tortured gaze was the same, resting heavy and soulful on her. Shadows still concealed the rest, but somehow she could guess that his body would be dreamworthy. All that physical labor at the fire, pounding metal day in, day out. Yes, very nice.
She ached with a beat of need, as if part of her were already leaning toward him, but she held herself back. She didn’t have that easy, warm-comfy feeling of bed. She couldn’t recall making it home from the warehouse, much less outside the building to her car. The dream, like the dress, felt like a trap. She’d learned a long time ago to trust her instincts.
“Wakey, wakey,” she sang, eyeing the blacksmith while denying the coil winding tight in her pelvis.
“You don’t remember.” The man sounded like he was in pain.
No, so tell me. “Remember what?”
“Anything. Your life as Kathleen.”
Kathleen again. This was a nightmare. “For the last time, I’m not Kathleen. I’m Layla Mathews. Lay-la.” She exaggerated that last bit with her mouth. How could she want a man who didn’t even know her name?
“Lay-la.” His rough, wounded delivery made her wonder about this Kathleen chick. The woman had obviously broken his heart.
“Listen—”
“No.” He swiped the air with his hand. “I was mistaken. This is not the way to reach you.”
Now they were getting somewhere. Layla sighed relief.
“We will just have to begin again,” he said, and darkness inundated her vision.
 
 
Shadowman patted Layla’s cheek to wake her. Layla, not Kathleen. Layla. The name was made of tip-of-the-tongue sounds, rather than the throat pull of his beloved. So different. How could she be different?
He closed his eyes and drew what strength he could from the earthbound shadows. The gate had cost him much. Reforming his body had cost him more. Holding it for any length of time would be very, very difficult.
“Come now,” he said. “Wake.” He’d crouched near Layla’s fallen form and gently lifted her shirt to bare her skin and the white undergarment that snugged her breasts, though he knew doing so would embarrass her later. He should have sent the human vermin who’d attacked her deep into the river and let the ghosts within the flows grasp at the rapists’ limbs until the men drowned. Too bad it wasn’t their time.
Layla turned her head in the alley dirt.
“You’re all right,” he said to counter the confusion billowing out of her. The woman had a strong mind and a stronger will. He could not blot out the memory of the hellgate or Kathleen’s fairy tale, however brief, but he could make her doubt they had ever really happened. They would seem like dreams to her. Would she succumb to this adjustment in her reality?
“Mother of—” she groaned, her lids lifting as her face contracted in a wince.
“They’re gone now,” he said. Long gone.
She laboriously shifted up onto an elbow, then must have perceived her partial nakedness, because she scuttled back toward the concrete wall pulling her shirt down. Expression tight with shame and anger, she said, “Who are you?”
Simple question, yet he had no answer to give. Kathleen’s “Shadowman” would sound absurd to Layla’s ear. Instead, he asked, “Can you stand? My place is just there.” He lifted a hand toward the warehouse. “You would be comfortable, and we could call”—this was a gamble, for he had no modern contrivances to make good on the offer—“for aid.”
She lifted herself along the wall to standing and held up the palm of a scraped hand. “Just stay back.”
“I will not harm you.” He allowed her a very small distance between them. “We can summon the”—what did they call them in this age?—“police.”
“Police.” She nodded agreement, visibly swallowing. “Police would be good. Those guys can’t have gone far.”
He gestured to the building.
“Right.” Layla lurched into a walk, glancing once furtively over her shoulder and murmuring, “Had the weirdest nightmares.”
“You hit your head.” He felt her internal denial, then a surge of determination as she attempted to collect her confused impressions into some other order. The gate, her moments in Kathleen’s fairy-tale fantasy—yes, with a spark of desire that made him fight a grin. Then her frustration. The only reasonable answer was the one he was giving her, and Layla, he’d discovered, preferred reason whereas Kathleen lived for dreams.
She stopped at the door, gaze dropped on the knob. What had been broken, he’d used Shadow to make whole again, though only in appearance. He had no lasting hold in the mortal world. Now he was using everything he had to hold his body.
She stepped back, shaking her head. Disquiet and confusion infused the air. “I don’t want to go in there.”
Of course she didn’t. The last time she had, she’d faced a gate to Hell. Touched it and released something evil. But the gate was gone, now in the angels’ keeping.
“You need to sit down,” he said, reaching around her and twisting the knob. He pushed the door open to let her view the changed interior.
She startled, swayed, and grabbed for the door frame. He would never let her fall.
“You had better go inside.”
Still she hesitated. This was the moment she would have to decide what was real and what was false. Would she hold to the memory of the bare, dirty space and the hellish gate, or would she take this more reasonable illusion, made from a glossy image in a moldered magazine scrap: “Bachelor Pad Goes Old World.”
“Who did you say you were?”
“I’m an artist,” he answered. That’s what Kathleen had been.
“I meant your name.”
He had none to give but Shadowman and variations of Death, neither acceptable. He needed something else, and fortunately he had a great catalogue from which to choose—the names of the souls he’d taken into his keeping, however briefly, as they crossed from the mortal world, through faery Twilight, to the Hereafter. One stood out: a fighter, a leader, a gambler, and cunning enough to challenge Death.
“Khan.”
Layla snorted. “As in Genghis?”
Yes. But instead he lied. The fae were excellent deceivers. “It is common enough where I come from.”
And so he became Khan, artist. It was much better than the alternative, Death. If he could not control his Shadows, that’s exactly who he would be.
Layla stepped over the threshold, looking around to take in the trappings of his residence. He had to admit, the style, drenched in the memory of the old world, suited him. The furniture was framed in thick, scrolled wood. The fabrics were rich with deep color: burgundy, royal blues, and burnt golds. A large medieval tapestry hung on the wall, its roaring lions and crest faded with time. Candlesticks littered a nearby table, upon which a map was unfurled, the unknown expanses of sea and land marked by monsters. Holding the corners down were a stack of books and the sculpted head of Buddha, the “awakened one.”
Layla wrapped her arms around herself. “How can you live here? Eventually someone’s going to rob you. Aren’t you afraid you’ll be murdered in your sleep?”
Khan smiled. “I am in no danger. For the most part”—you being the exception—“I’ve been left alone. May I ask why you ventured into such a dangerous area?”
“Insanity.” She fidgeted in place, worrying the frayed neckline of her shirt. “You didn’t happen to see my coat or bag outside, did you?”
He had, and he’d put them aside. “No.”
“Well, can I use your phone?” She looked around again, as if searching for it.
She’d chosen reality, and now he had to produce it. Khan reached for Shadow and mentally exhaled, and the object materialized in his palm. He lifted the phone, as if from a pocket, and held it out, saying, “Really, why are you here?” He needed her to acknowledge some small part of their connection, the pull that had drawn her to him.
She took the phone, concentrating on its face. “Wraiths. I’m doing a story on them.”
“I don’t understand.” The gate hadn’t called her?
“I’m a journalist. I got a lead that the source of the wraiths might be here, so I decided to check it out.” She hit the buttons with growing frustration. “How do you power this thing on?”
Wraiths. The cursed empty husks of used-to-be people. They plagued his daughter and her family but would not venture near Death. They’d given their souls for immortality, but he could still cast them out of the world. This warehouse was likely the safest structure on Earth from wraiths.
“I think it’s dead,” she concluded. Of course it was; the phone was a good facsimile, but he could not simulate the energy it required, nor the signals she needed it to send. “Do you have a landline?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t.” If indeed she came for information on the wraiths, another great power had to have directed her his way. Because he could not believe, not for a moment, that she was here by chance. Not his Kathleen.
“Well, is there a pay phone nearby? Without my keys, I’ll need to call a locksmith or tow truck for my car.”
“What car?” The source that had brought her here had to be a formidable power, the same that had cut her lifeline, even as she was delivered, once again, to him. Moira.
Layla half turned toward the door. “It’s just up the block.”
He gave a little shake of his head. The vehicle was there, but his Shadow concealed it.
“Oh no,” she said, whirling to the door and out to the sidewalk, staring down its length. Her hands went into her hair, disbelief and anger radiating out of her. “Stole my piece-of-crap car. My camera was in there. Damn it!”
Fate was meddling in Kathleen’s life again. And thus their story would begin anew: Kathleen, no, Layla, on the brink of death, and he, powerless to stop it. But this time, Layla had no idea who or what he was.
“I think I can help,” Khan said. This Layla was a resourceful woman. Sooner or later, she would find a way out of her predicament. Probably sooner.
“Not if you don’t have a phone, you can’t.” Her smile was at odds with the irritation that sparked around her.
“I meant the wraiths,” he clarified. If information would hold her here, so be it. “I know who made them, and why.”
 
 
Layla took a few steps back inside the warehouse. “Excuse me?”
Her gut told her that Khan was just saying what he thought she wanted to hear. He’d have to offer something solid before she’d believe a word he said. Something was off about him, about the room, about her memory. She didn’t always trust her senses, which occasionally produced some odd spectacles, especially lately, but her instincts were usually dead-on.
Khan stripped off his slim-fitting black leather jacket and tossed it across a fat chair. The long-sleeve gray shirt beneath was molded to his body, while the cut of his slacks skimmed over his admirable physique. His build was long and tall, thickening just enough for bulk and tone. His features were foreign, almost Asian, uncanny eyes glinting, but with Western dimensions and sculpting. And in this light, his skin had the faint teak of some other nationality.
Again she was aggravated by a sense of displaced familiarity. He was beyond hot—he was lust-cious—so if she’d seen this man before, she was sure she’d remember him. She’d sure remember the curl of want in her belly and the finger tingles that urged her to stroke his ridiculously long hair. He wasn’t even her type.
“You don’t believe me?” He raised a brow. The tilt of his head sent that black hair sliding over his shoulder, and she had to admit it suited him. Some women might like it. Some men, probably, too.
She shrugged. “I’m listening.”
He hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully. “I can’t tell you much, as most of what occurred must remain secret, but I will say that the spread of the wraiths halted two years ago because Talia Kathleen Thorne killed their maker.”
Layla’s mind briefly flashed blank in shock, then worked furiously to assimilate and judge his statement. The wraith spread did seem to halt about two years ago. But the rest? Talia had killed someone? Could it be true? Was that the reason Adam Thorne kept her hidden from the public?
“You know Talia Thorne?”
“Certainly.” He smiled a bit. Drew out the moment as if to prick her interest.
“How?” Her interest was pricked already.
“I’m her father.”
 
 
Rose Petty dug her nails into a rotting wood post, slipped on the slimy wet mud, and buried splinters in her hands and bare feet as she climbed from the river. She crawled onto a ratty dock on her elbows, her hands too bloody to hold her weight, and collapsed into a fetal position. Her naked body quivered in the chilly air and her teeth chattered kat-a-kat-a-kat-a-kat.
Stupid, stupid. She never should have made for the river. The burn of her reformation had been excruciating, but no water could possibly douse it. She’d only drown herself and die forever. That’s what you risked when you came back. Soul dead. Even Hell was better, not that she’d ever belonged there. If she’d screamed it once, she’d screamed it a thousand times: There’d been a mistake. She had to do those things. It was self-defense. She didn’t belong in Hell.
Never mind. She was out now. No rivers. Lesson learned.
Her new body shook with the cold—kat-a-kat-a-kat-a-kat. Her muscles cramped in contraction. Gooseflesh swept viciously across her skin.
Warm. She had to get warm.
Trembling, she pulled her feet beneath her, pushed herself up a bit by her wrists, and careened to standing.
Docks. An empty gray expanse lay before her, dotted with orange and blue cargo containers piled up among rotting pallets, decaying in the cold, wet air.
She needed clothes. Shelter. Food.
She wiped her running nose on the back of her damp arm and stumbled forward. Across the lot she could make out a door. An office.
Okay, knock on that door, get help. Get warm, she told herself.
Sheeeiiiiit, nice little piece of ass.
Rose turned, belly clutching, and put an arm across her breasts and a shaking hand splayed at her crotch as she looked for the voice. Saw no one.
Pretty titties, too. Gots to get me some o’that.
What the—? She stopped herself before she swore; a lady didn’t swear, no matter how pressed. But this was too strange: The voice was in her head, though not hers. Like maybe her mind got wired wrong when her body reformed itself. Or maybe she just came back different.
Her gaze flicked from glinting window to dull doorway, but she found the source sitting in a car, lighting up a cigarette. A paunchy old man, skin going yellow. Tsk. Tsk. Probably too much drink. Had to be him, what with the way his beady eyes stared at her. Maybe this mind-reading trick was okay. Might just be useful. It revealed what she already knew. That he was no gentleman. He was sick and low to think of her like that.
Girl’s got all the right parts.
How dare he? Anger ran hot through her veins, warming her just enough to loosen her stride. A woman drags herself naked and bleeding out of the river and the man can’t get off his lazy behind to help? Maybe lend his coat? She could get sick and die (forever).
His clothes would do. He certainly didn’t deserve them. The car meant shelter and transportation, too. Get her out of this awful place. She limped toward him, dropped her covering arm and hand when she got near the car so he could get one last good look.
Gonna get lucky, lucky, lucky.
The man mopped his reddening face. Licked his lips. Rolled down the window.
Come to papa.
It was self-defense all over again. He screamed a little, which was only human. Even with all the dark acts she’d seen in the fires Beyond, she really couldn’t blame him.