Chapter 14

The sound of wind rustling through tall grass made me open my eyes. Since when did grass grow in my bedroom? Gazing up at the ashen sky I could see blades of grass waving beside me. Pulling myself into a sitting position I looked at my surroundings. I appeared to be in a large field. Seeing no apparent threats, I stood. Where I had lain grew a small patch of beautiful blossoming wild flowers. Strange I didn’t crush them. That wasn’t the only thing that was odd about this place. Turning a pirouette, on the ball of my booted foot, I could see only grass in every direction.

Reaching down to touch the soil, I sent out a questioning thought to my spirit guide. “Why am I here?” I asked, silently.

I had discovered my assigned spirit animal at Shaman Camp with Cal. His kind of fun, not mine. Shaman Camp involved way too much dirt and hand holding and not nearly enough bathing. I stayed long enough to participate in a special ceremony where I was informed that my spirit animal was the scarab, or dung beetle. Not something I was overly excited about. Cal’s spirit animal, of course, was the wolf.

In previous dreams I had been able to manifest either my scarab spirit guide or Cal’s wolf spirit. Scarabs have a connection to the earth, hence touching the soil, but my spirit guide had said to return to her when I had learned “to walk the world of dreams and darkness.” I wasn’t so sure that I had learned enough in the past few weeks to warrant her help.

Digging my fingers into the moist soil I closed my eyes and I asked my question again. “Why am I here?” I asked.

A tingling began in my fingers and ran up through my arms. A warm pulsing rose up through my feet and I knew in which direction to walk. Good thing, since everything in this place looked the same. Striding forward I was shocked to see flowers blossoming wherever I stepped. Staring at the flowers rising up around my boots, I nearly fell when I heard a familiar voice.

“You always were so full of life,” Cal said.

Cal. “Oh God, you’re here!” I exclaimed, launching myself into his arms. “I was so worried.” Closing my eyes, I drank in his smell and the feel of him encircling me.

“Yuki, open your eyes,” he said.

Gazing up at Cal’s handsome face I etched every detail into memory. I vowed to never again be apart from his shaggy hair that fell into deep blue eyes and the full mouth that I now longed to kiss.

I had recently promised myself that I would never let him get hurt again, but he did get hurt. I had been the catalyst when he lost control of his human form at the Homecoming dance and I had stood helpless as he was attacked earlier this evening. I needed to become stronger. I needed to train with the pack and learn how to help protect those I loved, protect Cal, and not be a liability. I love you so much Calvin Miller.

“Look at where we touch,” Cal said, his voice sad.

Curious, I looked at where his arms encircled my own. Though he felt solid, I had sunk an inch or more into him. He was fading, still substantial at the center, but transparent along his skin. Was he a ghost? Was he…dead?

“I don’t…Cal, I don’t understand,” I said, brushing my left hand through his arm. He felt warm, but he was not as solid as I originally thought. But I could still feel the heat of him. He can’t be dead. He just can’t.

“I…I think I’m dying,” he said, voice quavering. “I keep losing my wolf spirit and…I believe I may die if I can’t be reunited with him.”

“God Cal, don’t say that,” I said. “I can’t lose you. I just can’t.”

“We won’t ever lose each other,” Cal said, stroking my cheek. “Remember, no matter what happens, you’re my soul mate. You complete me.”

“What can I do to help?” I asked, trying to remain hopeful. I won’t let you leave me Calvin Miller.

“When you leave this place, I need you to call my wolf spirit,” Cal said, intently. “Each time I’ve seen him here he has been standing on a fallen log reaching towards a glowing light. Yuki, we can’t let him go into the light. I think if that were to happen I would die. I need my wolf spirit in order to live.”

“Can’t we just find him again?” I asked. “What if you talk to him?”

“I can’t get close to him,” Cal said, shaking his head. “When I try to, he disappears. I haven’t even been able to find the log he stands on. Yuki, I need your help. Can you dance for me?”

“Yes,” I said. “I’ll call your wolf spirit back to you. I promise.”

“Thank you,” Cal whispered, pulling me closer to him. I tried not to notice how I drifted through him. “Oh no.”

I opened my eyes and followed Cal’s gaze to the ground. The flowers by my feet were shriveling and turning black.

“Yuki, you have to go,” Cal said.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I said, shakily.

“This place will draw the life from you,” Cal said. “You’re fully alive. You don’t belong here. You have to go now.”

“I love you,” I said, looking up into his eyes.

“I love you more,” Cal said, kissing my cheek and then my lips. “Now run. Run and don’t look back.”

I ran. Tears streaming down my face, gasping for breath, I ran as fast and as far as my legs would take me. I ran away from the man I loved, hurtling towards my destiny.