Chapter Eleven

The car ride home was unusually quiet and filled with unspoken tension. On the outside, it looked as if the group was finally getting along, but the stiffness in the air was thick like a shield of choking smoke. The silence followed them into the hotel room. Chris paused at the door.

“Aren’t you coming in?” Stephanie asked him gently.

He shook his head. “No, I’m going to head back to my own hotel room for the night.”

“We just got shot at,” she said, sounding anxious.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve been shot at more than once. It’s kind of part of being a hunter.” Chris laughed a little and it was seemed genuine.

“Can’t you just stay the night? I’ll worry.” Stephanie pouted.

Chris looked down quietly for a few moments. “I really can’t.”

“Please,” she pleaded quietly and looked up into his eyes.

Chris paused for a moment , then sighed and nodded.

“Okay. I’ll stay, but I can’t do this every night.” It was too late to argue, and she was looked too hurt for him to say no.

“Then we might as well order dinner,” Amara suggested. “Isn’t anyone else getting hungry?”

“Actually, I hadn’t noticed until you said something. What do you two want?” Stephanie asked.

“I say we just order from the diner,” Amara suggested as she pulled the phone book out of a drawer in the nightstand by her bed and paged through it.

“The one Steven’s friend owns? The Yellow Sun?” Stephanie teased Amara as she sat down on the bed.

“No, the one we usually go to. I don’t like the food at the other one,” she answered seriously.

“I’ll have a grilled cheese sandwich. Chris?”

“Uh…I guess I’ll have a burger too,” he said and sat down on one of the small chairs at the tiny dining table.

Amara called the order in. While on the phone, she found a large envelope sitting neatly on her bed. On the outside there was a single letter “J”. She smiled as she hung the phone up after the man said it’d be twenty minutes. Jeremy pulled through for her after all, and in record time, too. Nothing like a little jealousy to make a man ambitious. She opened the folder and was careful to keep herself neutral as she read over it. Luckily, Stephanie and Christopher kept themselves entertained. After a while, she set the folder in the drawer beside her bed and looked to Stephanie.

“Why don’t you lay down? I’m going taking Chris to get food.”

“And leave you two alone? No way. How dumb do you think I am?” She Stephanie arched an eyebrow questioningly.

Chris watched Amara as she talked to Stephanie. He knew she had something to say and maybe it could solve the arguments rising up between them.

“It’ll be fine, Steph. You take a break.”

* * * *

“Wake me up when you get back,” Stephanie said but shook her head as she walked toward the bathroom.

If Chris were so willing to go with Amara, she wouldn’t stop them. She didn’t think it was a good idea though. With the way those two nitpicked at one another, she was sure this was just Amara’s way of sealing the deal that Chris stay in his own room. While Stephanie worried he’d get hurt, there were other reasons she wanted him to stay . The more time she spent around him, the more she liked him. He was always so nice to her, and they liked a lot of the same things. If Amara did something to hurt her chances, Stephanie just might kill her.

“Hurry back,” Stephanie finally called to them as she shut the door to wash up and change.

* * * *

“Let’s go,” Amara said as she got up and grabbed her keys.

Christopher followed. He made sure he had his gun at his side and then made sure the door locked behind him. There was no reason to take unnecessary risks. He got into the car and Amara started to drive.

At first, he thought maybe he was mistaken. Amara was quiet for the first few minutes of the ride. Maybe she really just didn’t want to see him and Stephanie alone together. Maybe she really did think he would hurt her. Then she finally spoke up.

“I want you to stop flirting with her,” Amara said evenly.

“First off, I’m not flirting with her. Second, stop acting like I’m going to hurt her. I’m not going to.”

“You already are hurting her.” Amara glanced over to him for a moment, then looked back to where she was driving. “Every time you let her touch you, every time you smile at her or say nice things, you’re hurting her.”

“Oh? Is that what’s wrong?” Chris barked a laugh. “You have your whole life backward. So when you shout at her it really means you care?”

“Christopher, I’m not joking. Don’t you notice the way she looks at you? She’s falling for you, and we both know you’re not going to fall for her.”

The humor drained from his expression, and he looked out the window quietly. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

“You don’t know anything about me, Amara,” he murmured and looked back to her. He opened his mouth to explain, but she cut him off.

“Oh, but I do,” she argued. “I did a little digging, and guess what I found? Your file. Turns out not everything I thought about you was wrong.”

She glanced over at him again. Chris glared at her like he might kill her. There was a fury in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

“I’m not threatening or blackmailing you. I’m telling you the way things are. I don’t want to see Stephanie get hurt. I know your big secret, and if you care for or respect her at all, you’ll sit her down and tell her the truth.”

“Why? So you can sit back and laugh?” Chris growled at her.

“No. I’ll leave. I’ll give the two of you some space and go out. If you don’t tell her, I really have to. I don’t know if she’ll believe me, but I won’t let you hurt her like this.”

Chris looked down. Unfortunately Amara had a good point. He was really, truly fond of Stephanie. She was fun to be around and sort of sweet, but the situation being what it was, Amara was right. He had to tell her.

“As soon as we get back, I’ll sit her down, okay?” Chris said quietly, looking back out the window.

“I’d appreciate it,” Amara said evenly. There was no real emotion to her words; they could have been pre-recorded.

“Will you back off then?”

Amara thought for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll back off.”

* * * *

Stephanie took the time that the other two were gone to get a short shower and get changed into a baggy t-shirt and soft fabric shorts. She needed to relax a little bit, or at least that was what the doctors told her. She was in the bathroom combing out her hair when the other two hunters walked in. Amara set the food down on the table and pulled out her burger.

“If she asks, I went to get some drinks,” Amara gave him the excuse, and Chris nodded quietly in response.

“Please,” Amara rolled her eyes, “Don’t act like you’re really into her. It’s not going to help.”

“You never stop to consider things, do you? Maybe I really do care for her. Just not in a way you could understand.”

“Right,” Amara walked out, slamming the door behind her.

Chris pulled his food out of the bag and sat down. He started to go through his suitcase and pulled out a photo. He sat down on the bed beside his bag and smiled at it. His friends, his best friends. He touched the photo gently. It was his only real connection he had left with them. Three of them were dead; the other one was even more insane than he was. That didn’t matter in that moment because when he looked at the picture, it was his doorway to the past. He could look into their faces and relive the good memories.

He smiled at the picture, his best friend, Keith, to the right on the end; then Chris in the middle; then Ariel, who was a fantastic healer as well as the person who saved him on a regular basis; Danni, the boy who was always after Ariel, and finally Jamie, Keith’s younger brother. He ran his fingers over the picture again while memories danced in his vision. For a few moments, he was absorbed completely in the photograph.

“Chris? Where’s Amara?” Stephanie asked as she walked over and sat down beside him. “What’s that?”

“Amara went out for drinks,” he said distantly. His voice had gone bland and hollow. He was being pulled back into reality. He looked up to at Stephanie. “She’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Who is that?” Stephanie asked as she looked over his shoulder.

“These are my best friends,” Chris said quietly.

“He’s cute.” She smiled, pointing to Keith.

Christopher laughed a little. “Everyone always said that about him.”

“Where are they now?” Stephanie asked as she laid back.

“Dead mostly.” Chris’s smile faded at the edges, and he shook his head. “Dead.”

“Oh God, Chris. I’m sorry,” Stephanie sat back up, startled by the information.

“No, it’s okay. You didn’t know.” He shook his head.

She watched him looking at the photo for a long moment. He stared down at it as if someone in the picture were more than just a friend.

“Did you love her?” she asked, moving a little closer.

“Who? Ariel?” Chris laughed and shook his head. “Like a sister, but not like that.”

“Chris…what’s going on? Are you okay?” Stephanie watched him again.

“Amara wanted me to talk to you about some things. I guess she was right after all.”

“Amara is never right,” Stephanie huffed. “Don’t let her get to you. See? This is why I didn’t want you two taking off together to get the food.”

“No, she was right about this,” he said softly. He sounded so very disappointed in himself, and it made Stephanie tilt her head a little. He set the picture aside on the dresser beside them, but didn’t take his eyes off of it. “The picture means so much to me because I did love someone in it. Not just as family, but more than that. I never got a chance to say anything,” he sighed deeply, gathering his thoughts. “That’s a lie. I had plenty of chances, just never had the courage.”

Stephanie watched him curiously. She leaned her head on his shoulder, looking at the picture. She tried to guess which person in the photo Christopher talked about. Being that there was only one girl in the photo, she made an assumption. Chris hadn’t pointed her out yet, so she decided it might be best just to let him talk it out. Obviously, this was something they needed to talk about but were never given the chance.

“Which one was it?” She finally asked him, in a gentle, understanding tone. The last thing Stephanie needed was to sound accusing or condescending.

Chris swallowed hard and pointed to the boy with short brown hair and light eyes;— Keith‘s brother, Jamie. “I couldn’t say anything. He was my best mate’s brother. My best mate’s younger brother. We weren’t far apart as far as age went, only a year and a few months, but you can’t date your best mate’s sister let alone his brother.” He said it as if he’d put a lot of thought into things.

Stephanie went quiet for a few moments. She was still putting it all together. Processing things. She had to admit she had not expected for Chris to tell her he was into men.

“So you’re gay?” she finally asked. She couldn’t hide the disappointment in her voice. She hadn’t meant for it to be there, but she could not seem to keep it away either. She really liked Chris.

“Well…,” He thought for a moment, then smiled just a little. “There was this girl once who I really cared about, but I wasn’t really physically attracted to her.” He sighed and looked down. The smile faded away as fast as it had come. “So yes, I suppose that sums it up.”

Stephanie sighed deeply but didn’t pull away from him. She kept leaning on his shoulder , and didn’t flinch when he leaned his head against hers slightly.

“I’m sorry. About your friends,” she whispered.

“You don’t hate me?” Chris asked, seeming surprised.

“No,” she said, pulling away enough to look up at him while she spoke. “Why would I?”

“My father said I was a disgrace. He kicked me out of the family.”

She watched Chris’s eyes glaze over with the memory and knew that he was reliving things.

“He tried to drown me in our bathtub. Then when I got away, he forbid my sisters and mother from seeing me.”

“Why?” Stephanie looked stunned.

“It’s against God.” Christopher shrugged, still looking down into his hands. Tears welled up in his eyes, making them glassy and distant. “I just…can’t help it though. I’ve tried. I really have.”

“You sound more like you’re trying to convince yourself than like you’re trying to convince me.”

* * * *

Chris laughed a little. It was a dry, forced laugh. He looked up at Stephanie again. Things were worse for him than he was willing to tell her. The constant beatings, training until his bones were broken, the various near death experiences he had with his own family. Hunting vampires was easy. Telling his father he needed to stay home from school with the flu had been the hard part. Telling his father he was gay had been a mistake.

“I’ve had so few people be understanding,” he said with a light smile. “Not that I’ve told a lot of people. Like I said, I never even told Jamie.”

“Well, just count me in as a friend, and I’m happy with that,” Stephanie said as she grabbed her sandwich and took a bite.

Chris tucked an arm around her and hugged her. “Thanks Steph.”

“No problem,” Stephanie said gently, but he still looked so forlorn. “Open up a little bit. What else is on your mind?”

“Just bad memories.” He shook his head a little. “They hit every once and a while.”

“Open up,” Steph repeated as she handed him his burger.

“Well…,” Here paused, thinking of how to word things. “I guess I feel guilty. Jamie wasn’t even a hunter. He was just a hunter’s brother. They never had any interest in him until I was in The Clinic. Until they were brainwashing me. I wouldn’t give up. I wouldn’t let them break me. That’s when they brought the news.” Chris paused again, staring down at his burger with tears in his eyes. “They found him and killed him, and I just gave up. I had nothing to live for. I promised Keith I would look out for everyone, and they all ended up dead because of me. I let everyone down. It was all my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You were up against amazing odds,” Stephanie said as she leaned on him again. “Overwhelming odds. No one could have done it. You are alive. Maybe you should consider this living for them?”

“Thanks,” he said gently with a small nod, and a long moment of silence passed between them.

“Chris? Is anything else Amara said true?”

“What exactly?” Chris looked over to her again.

“About you and Alexander? Do the two of you have more history than just being a hunter who is after him?”

“I think that’s sort of obvious, but so does Amara,” Chris pointed out.

“Yeah.” Stephanie kept her voice light, but there was still a question in it. “But he didn’t pull Amara aside at the club. Chris, be honest with me. No matter what your answer is, I won’t turn my back on you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he said evenly but lay back into his the bed.

“Then it’s true?” She sounded disheartened as she said it. “You’re really in league with the vampires? The bad vampires?”

“No.” Chris closed his eyes and shook his head. “It’s not like that. When I was younger, before I told anyone about the way I am, he caught on. He knew. He used it against me and manipulated a few situations. At first I thought it was just to embarrass me or to make me look bad.” He shook his head at the thought. “After a while I realized it wasn’t that. I’m still not sure what it was exactly, but I don’t think he did anything to intentionally hurt me.”

Stephanie watched him laying there with his eyes closed. She had so many other questions. Now that Chris was opening up, his past was more and more interesting. He seemed so very bland before. Attractive and kind, but vanilla. With such a colorful past, she wanted to know more.

“Did you love him?”

Christopher laughed and opened his eyes to look at her again. “Are you mad? Of course not. He’s Alexander Sef. I was one of the top ranking hunters, and he was dangerous for me to be around. I was terrified.” When he noticed the strange look Stephanie gave him, he went on. “It’s hard to explain. It was a mix of emotions. Terror until I was caught up in the moment. Then I was just…,” he paused and sighed peacefully, “tranquil. It was brilliant. He could just take everything and make it slip out of my mind. I slept easier those nights.”

“I heard vampire bites can do that to you,” Stephanie said lightly. She was just repeating facts;, that’s all.

Chris nodded and closed his eyes tiredly for a moment as if he might fall asleep.

“Promise me something?”

“What’s that?”

“After this mission is over, you’ll keep on touch.”

“I can promise that.” She smiled at him and nodded.