Chapter 12

Over the next few months, Jak didn’t have one tutor, he had several. They had all lived in the human world for extended periods of time and knew more about humans than most goblins. The first one was a member of the rat clan who had lived in the sewer across from a library in the human world. He told Jak about the library and how it was filled with books.

“Did you read them all?” asked Jak.

“Read? Fft! I not read! Heard you do. Here,” he said, dumping a pile of shiny, colorful books on the table in front of Jak. “Learn more about human world from these than from musty, dusty books.”

As Jak flipped through the books, he saw that they were actually catalogs and were filled with pictures of clothes, gardening supplies, and kitchen tools. Jak liked the catalogs because they made him look at humans in a new way, but he found a lot of the items confusing. When Jak finished reading, he had more questions than answers, but the tutor replied, “I not know” until he got tired of saying it. Jak never saw him again.

The next tutor was a ferret goblin who showed Jak pictures of everyday objects that he would see in the human world. Although the tutor could name them and say what he saw humans using them for, he had no idea how they worked.

The last tutor came the day after Jak’s fifteenth birthday and just a few days before he was to leave for the human world. His name was Bert, and he was Bruno and Barth’s older brother. Like the twins, he had bearlike features, small ears perched on top of his head, and ferocious-looking teeth, but his features weren’t as pronounced, his bushy hair covered his ears, and a mustache and beard covered his mouth and chin. As a result, he looked more human than his brothers.

The goblin was there to teach Jak how to behave more like a human and less like a goblin. “You move like a cat,” said Bert. “Humans aren’t that graceful. Watch me.”

Jak tried to imitate his tutor’s lumbering gait. Although Bert didn’t walk exactly like a human, copying him did make Jak look less goblinlike. Bert also showed him how to sit with one leg crossed with his ankle resting on his knee like a man, how to clap his hands when he was pleased, and to hold up one finger when he wasn’t. He showed him how to wave good-bye and hello, to snap his fingers when he wanted something, and to hold his nose when he didn’t.

Over the days they were working together, Jak and Bert became good friends. Only hours before Jak was supposed to leave he learned that Bert would be going with him. Gammi had volunteered to go as well, saying that Jak wasn’t ready to go out into the big world all by himself, whether fey or human. It would help that she had spent some time in the human world.

The house looked neglected with the grass growing knee-high in the yard, the shutters falling off the windows, and the uneven floorboards on the porch. Gammi and Bert thought the house looked perfect. Gammi swore that she felt as if she’d come home. Bert was the first one inside, saying that he had to make sure it was safe for the others. The bear goblin immediately claimed the basement for himself, leaving the top two floors for Jak and Gammi.

While Bert thumped around downstairs, Jak and Gammi investigated the kitchen. Gammi was opening kitchen cupboards when Bert came up the steps to see what they were doing. He and Jak went into the living room and sat on the dilapidated furniture that had been left behind. They flicked the light switch in the dining room, making the lights hanging from the ceiling go on and off until one of the lights went out with a pop! When they reached the bathroom, they learned how to turn on the faucet. After they flooded the room, they also learned how to turn it off. Jak used the couch cushions from the living room to soak up the water.

Gammi was inspecting the still-wet bathroom and Jak was wondering what he should do with the cushions when Bert returned to the basement. He came back a short time later carrying an armload of cans and dumped them on the kitchen table. “See what I found,” he said, looking proud of himself. “They were on a shelf in a little room. I think they have food in them.”

Jak selected one of the cans and studied the picture of fresh tomatoes. “How do we open it?” he asked.

“That’s easy.” Bert picked up another can and squeezed it until his face turned red. The can got smaller in the middle, but it didn’t open. “Maybe if I do this,” he said, and hit it against the table. The can got dented, but it didn’t open. Bert growled at the can as if it were purposely defying him. Holding it up to his mouth, the bear goblin bit the top of the can. When liquid spurted out, he got a funny look on his face. “My tooth ith thtuck,” he said, trying to tug the can free.

“Pull harder,” said Gammi, who had just come into the room.

“I don’t want to pull out my tooth!” mumbled the bear.

“Then I’ll do it,” said the old goblin woman. Grabbing the can, she pulled on it until it came free. She raised the can to her mouth and sucked noisily, then smacked her lips and said, “Rotting cabbage!”

“It’s called sauerkraut,” said Jak, reading the label on the can.

When they had finished inspecting the first floor, Jak helped his grandmother up the stairs and encouraged her to choose a room. The old goblin woman examined every one before making her choice; she wanted the room that overlooked the backyard, where she could see the two trees that defined the local Gate to the land of the fey, the real reason the house had been selected.

Although it was night in the human world, they were still on goblin time, so neither Jak nor his grandmother was ready for bed. When Jak discovered the ladder to the attic, Gammi insisted on going with him, so she was there when he found the cartons. The old couple who had lived in the house had been unable to throw away anything. Jak found a treasure trove of human life and a better education than he’d received from any of his tutors.

While Gammi sat on the floor, Jak brought out one carton at a time, opening them in front of her so they could exclaim over them together. They found old clothes, tattered magazines, ice skates, roller skates, shoes, umbrellas, broken toasters, broken Crock-Pots, broken lamps, used hardware, rusty tools, and children’s toys, most of which were missing parts. They found the old mattresses and springs from six beds and enough blankets for a dozen. Gammi seemed to think that all the boxes were equally important, but Jak was most interested in the heaviest boxes that contained the books. There were books of every size and shape, books for children and adults, books with pictures and without. To Jak every book was a wonder. While Gammi sorted the clothes to find something she could wear, Jak thumbed through the books, reading bits and pieces. After looking at the pages, he examined the bindings, sniffing the musty smell of stored knowledge. He had such a look of reverent awe on his face that Gammi finally said, “If you want them, take them, boy. You’re the only one who can read in this house.”

It took Jak most of the rest of the night to lug the cartons of books down the stairs to his bedroom. When he was finished, he began going through them again and was mesmerized until his grandmother came to him saying, “Now, that’s enough of that! We have work to do, so no more playing. Didn’t you notice the sun’s up? Come downstairs for breakfast; then you should be on your way. I just hope there’s something left to eat,” she grumbled as she started down the stairs. “Bert can tuck away enough for five goblins.”

When Jak arrived downstairs, it was obvious that Gammi had been busy. She’d taken a load of the clothes from the attic and washed them in the kitchen sink. They were already hanging on the curtain rods in the living room, dripping onto the hardwood floor. She’d found a way to open the cans and had emptied them into a pot while Bert, who could smell food from two miles away, had come back upstairs and been talked into figuring out how to work the stove. After burning his fingers and singeing his beard, Bert got the stove turned on, which pleased both him and Gammi immensely.

The new “family” sat around the linoleum-covered kitchen table, eating directly from the pot. Gammi’s soup had an odd flavor, having been made from cans of sauerkraut, peas, pears, cranberries, tuna, and cocktail franks in barbecue sauce, but they were hungry and enjoyed it anyway.

“Are you ready for school, Jak?” asked Gammi, “They’ll probably ask you all sorts of questions when you go sign up.”

“I can handle anything they throw at me. Don’t forget, I took a lot of extra classes on the island. I doubt they teach anything in this school that I haven’t heard before.”

Bert wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “When I lived on the island, I studied The Fine Arts of Coercion and Trickery, and Throwing Your Voice to Intimidate Your Enemy from a Distance. Do the elders still teach those?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t take either of them,” Jak said.

Bert picked up a bowl of water and slurped it loudly while a strangled voice shouted in the next room, “Put up your hands and throw down your arms!”

“Very good!” said Gammi. “I thought someone was there for a moment. I’m confused though. Why would you want your enemy to put his hands up and his arms down?”

“By arms he means weapons,” Jak explained to his grandmother. Then he turned back to Bert saying, “But wouldn’t you want him to throw down his arms first?”

“Could be,” said Bert. “I never did well in strategy lessons.”

When he’d finished eating, Jak went upstairs to change his clothes. He’d studied the catalogs that his tutor had brought, and he’d seen humans when he went to Halloween with his class, so he thought he had a pretty good idea of what humans wore. He’d found some clothes in the attic and put on the ones he thought would be the best for school and set off down the street. Unfortunately, when he walked through the front door of the school, he saw just how much the blue satin athletic shorts, gray pinstriped jacket, and green plaid shirt didn’t belong.

The first student who saw him stood gaping in disbelief. When the next two did the same, Jak knew he had to do something. He disappeared into the janitor’s closet and with a little of his own personal magic, he was wearing khakis and a shirt much like theirs when he came out.

Headmaster Serling’s office was the most luxurious room Jak had ever seen. He had a deep red carpet with golden swirls on his floor and long velvet drapes on his windows. Portraits of old humans decorated the walls along with photographs of the headmaster and a lot of smug-looking human men and women. When his secretary showed Jak into the room, the headmaster was looking out the window with his hands clasped behind his back.

“I understand that you want to attend our school,” he said without turning around. “You realize, of course, that Worthington is a highly respected institution and we require much of our students. Because we provide the finest of educations, we are inundated with applications.”

While Jak listened to the man prattle, he let his gaze wander around the room. The two high-backed chairs facing the headmaster’s desk looked inviting, and when he raised his head and sniffed, he could smell them from where he stood. Approaching the closest chair, he ran his fingers along the arm. It was made from the hide of an animal.

“Therefore, we must be highly selective in our acceptance procedures,” said Headmaster Serling. “In order to be accepted, you must pass a stringent exam, provided that we have an opening in the class for which you are applying. What grade are you in, Mr. … I don’t believe I heard your last name.”

“Catta …” Jak flinched. He’d almost given himself away by telling the human his clan affiliation. “I’m Jak Catta.”

Headmaster Serling took the seat behind the desk and gestured for Jak to take the one across from him.

“I’m fifteen years old,” said Jak as he curled up on the chair. “I’m in the grade for fifteen-year-olds.”

“I see,” said Headmaster Serling, although he looked as if he didn’t like what he saw. He was watching Jak with a most curious expression when he set his hands on his desk and leaned forward. “I’m sorry to tell you, Mr. Catta, that we have no openings in the ‘fifteen-year-old grade.’ “

“But I need to start school today,” Jak said.

“That won’t be possible,” said the headmaster. “You may see my secretary on the way out. She’ll be happy to give you an application. However, in all honesty I must say that chances are slim that there will be any openings in the foreseeable future. Even if there were, you wouldn’t be able to start until the beginning of the next semester.”

“You don’t understand,” Jak said. “I have to start today. I’m a very good student. I study hard and learn quickly.”

“I’m sure you do,” said the headmaster as he slid his hand across his desk and tapped a silvery box. “Miss Throckmorton, please see this young man out. He would like an application for admission.” Taking his hand off the box, Headmaster Serling pointed at the door. “Good day, Mr. Catta.”

“They won’t let me go to school there,” Jak said, throwing himself onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Headmaster Serling said that I had to fill out an application and wait until the next semester starts, and even then they probably won’t have room for me.”

“What? I never heard of such a thing!” Gammi said.

“Here’s the application,” said Jak. He dropped a wadded-up paper on the table. It rolled across and stopped in front of Gammi. She swatted it back and Jak pounced on it without thinking.

Gammi set down the tooth necklace she’d been stringing and turned to Bert. “We’ll have to do something about this.”

Bert rolled his shoulders until they made a cracking sound. “Leave it to me.”

Jak was lying in bed reading when his door creaked open later that night. Bert stuck his head in the room and smiled at Jak. “Put that book down and go to sleep,” he said. “You have to get up early tomorrow for school.”

“You mean you saw him?” Jak said, dropping the book on the floor. “How did you get the headmaster to change his mind?”

“Let’s just say I used a little something that I learned when I lived on the island,” the bear goblin said, smiling a truly frightening smile.