Just when you think life gets boring….

"You know something, guys?" I asked as we pulled up to the rather empty beach.  "This road shit was a lot more glamorous when Jack Kerouac wrote it."

I got out of the car and stretched my cramped legs. Vlad was still sleeping until Julian slammed the door as hard as possible without actually smashing the window to pieces.

Vlad practically leapt to the front seat, his eyes wide with panic. I would have thought it was funnier, but I was grouchy as hell. This traveling shit is glamorized way too much in movies and books. I'm here to tell you it's actually quite boring. And if we tried that hobo shit like Kerouac actually did then we'd be dead in about a day. I'd like to see Kerouac survive hitching across the United States in the present day. If a twelve-year-old didn't shoot him, he'd probably fall victim to a crack pipe.

It was only ten in the morning, and although it was warming up a bit, it was a pretty cool fifty-seven degrees according to the numbers outside of the bank we had just passed.

I walked up to a bench on the boardwalk and sat down, enjoying the fresh salt-water air. A seagull landed at my feet and began to stare at me boldly. It flew away as Julian and Vlad walked up and joined me on the bench. The sky was depressingly gray and the water looked pretty damn icy.

"Fuckin' rats with wings," Julian said, staring at the seagull in disgust.

There were hardly any people on the beach at all. A lone jogger ran by the surf. An old man in an Hawaiian shirt and a large straw hat was using some sort of metal detector on the sand about fifty yards in front of us.

"Okay," Vlad said, crossing his legs and sighing heavily. "We're at the beach. This isn't what the brochure said. Where are the babes?"

"Babes?" Julian asked, nudging his friend playfully. "Since when were you concerned with babes?"

"I'm not, it's just the principle of the thing. Things don't seem right."

The old man had noticed us and began to walk slowly towards us, his metal detector held before him like a weapon.

"Oh great," Julian muttered. "We go to the beach for some fun and sun and we get to meet some old fuck looking for quarters in the sand."

The man walked up to us and took off his hat. Bushy eyebrows rested above his friendly eyes. "Well, hello boys. What brings you here?"
"Boredom," Julian immediately answered and I guess he had taken the words right out of my mouth. "What are you looking for? Treasure?"

If the old man noticed the sarcasm in Julian's voice, he didn't show it. "Boredom? When I was your age I didn't know the meaning of the word. You boys need to find something to do."

Judging by the look on his face, I could see he had something in mind, so I said, "Any suggestions?"

"As a matter of fact, my fine man, I do," the old man said, placing his metal detector on the boardwalk and offering his handshake. "My name's Caleb, just like the Bible."

I shook his amazingly callused hands. "I'm Harlan. And these two guys are Julian and Vlad."

"Vlad?" the old man asked, smiling crookedly as he showed off his coffee stained teeth. "Like the Vampire? Vlad the Impaler?"

Vlad nodded. He seemed to be afraid of the old man. Vlad was like that with anyone he didn't know.

Caleb continued. "Well, young men. I was going to take my fishing boat out today for a little spin. You're welcome to join me if you like. Some company would be a nice change of pace."

I looked at Julian and Vlad and they both shrugged at me. "Actually, that might be a good idea. Why not?"

Life can be so surreal. You just can't make this kind of shit up. One second you are bored out of your freaking skull, and the next you are in the ocean on a very unsafe feeling fishing boat. It sort of looked like the one in the movie JAWS, which was not exactly the kind of movie one wanted to think about while sailing the high seas.

Vlad was seasick in about five minutes. You would have never thought that he could be any whiter, but there he was, paler than a cloud. Caleb laughed and gave him some kind of pill. Vlad groaned as if he was dying and just lay there looking out at the sea.

"You boys ever been out in the ocean before?" Caleb asked, turning his leathery face specifically at me.

I shook my head, just coming to the realization I couldn't see land anymore. The ocean has this feeling of power that is difficult to describe. It's so vast, giving you the feeling you are nothing. It gives me the same feeling I get when staring into the stars on a clear night. As I stared down into the sea, a dolphin leapt out of the water about ten yards from me, freaking me out in a major way.

Julian screamed in delight, like a little kid. It was the first time that I had ever seen him that unguarded.

"A fucking dolphin!" he shrieked, his foul language immediately canceling out my thoughts on him being a cute little kid. "Cool!"

Caleb nodded his head and lit a cigarette by cupping his hand around the lighter. The old man was like one of those characters in Hemingway novels: Dark, macho and mysterious. He was fascinating simply because he was so alien to me. He pulled an unmarked bottle from his coat, uncorked it and took a long sip.

He gritted his teeth and held the bottle out to me. "Don't take too much. I don't want to be on a boat with a bunch of drunk teenagers."

I took a sip and practically vomited instantly. It was disgusting. I know I'll never be able to be an alcoholic like my father.

Caleb stopped the boat and began rummaging through something in the cabin where Vlad lay groaning and whining. I could see the old man found Vlad's sickness highly amusing. He began to put together an extremely large stick, which my genius brain assumed was a fishing pole. There were now about five dolphins swimming around the boat playfully. I had never seen one before. I had always read they were friendly and highly intelligent.

Julian had taken off his shirt and was standing there in nothing but a pair of tan khaki pants. He looked over at Caleb. "Can I go in with them?"

"I don't see why not," Caleb said, feeding fishing line into his pole.

"Are you insane?" I asked Julian. That was the stupidest thing I ever heard. "One word: Sharks. Plus, it's not warm outside, you dope. It's going to be even colder in the ocean."

Caleb laughed. "If there were sharks, my fine young man, then the dolphins wouldn't be there. I've been in much colder water, too." He tossed a neon life preserver at Julian. "Wear that."

Julian threw it around his neck and looked at me with a stupid grin. "Coming?"

"Yeah, okay, hold on a second," I said sarcastically, eyeing up the dolphins.

Julian shrugged and promptly dived over the side leaving me standing there with my mouth open. The dolphins disappeared leaving only Julian and the biggest smile I had ever seen him wear. I guess they were only finding out if he was dangerous because they popped to the surface a few moments later, swimming around him mischievously. He had balls, I had to give him that. That would be just a bit too freaky for me to be even swimming in the middle of the ocean, let alone with smart fish.

"Coming?" he shouted.

I looked over at Caleb. "Are you sure they won't attack him?"

The old man cackled. "Nah. In all my life on the ocean, I've never heard of a single case."

Curiosity got the best of Vlad. He came up from the cabin and was looking into the ocean at the Julian. The look he gave Julian was probably the same look he would have given him had he seen him flying around the boat with wings—it was so fucking priceless. "Holy shit," he muttered, his eyes wide. "What the hell is he doing?"

"Being insane."

"I'd rather eat a bowl of milk and glass than do that," Vlad added, staring at the dolphins with genuine horror. "Doesn't he realize those big bastards have teeth? I can see them from here."

It was so strange seeing my friend do something that seemed could only happen in dreams. The moment demanded a camera.

"Caleb, you don't have a Polaroid camera, do you?" I asked. Part of me actually wanted to go into the water as well, but I knew I would never do it. I just didn't have the courage.

"Come on, Harlan!" Julian shouted from the middle of four dolphins. "You're going to die, anyway!"

"That's a pretty stupid reason!" I shouted back.

When I looked behind me to see if Caleb actually had a camera, I almost left my skin. The old man was laying face down on the deck.

"Shit!" I shouted and ran to Caleb. I turned him over and was shocked to find out he wasn't breathing. I felt his neck like I had seen in the movies and didn't feel a pulse. 

"This can't be happening," I said, looking over at Vlad who seemed like he was about to pass out.

I went to the side of the boat and Julian was nowhere to be seen. Nearly collapsing in panic, I almost kissed Julian when I saw him climbing up the back of the boat, his face looking happier than I've ever seen.

"You're not going to freaking believe this," I said, helping him up.

"Caleb died and left us stranded out here in the middle of nowhere?" Julian joked, trying to catch his breath as I pulled him up.

"Actually, yes," I said and somehow managed to smile despite the bleakness of our situation.

"That would be the shit wouldn't it?" he asked, his mouth dropping open when he saw Caleb's body.